


you could still be what you want to be (what you said you were when you met me)

by ikindaneedahero



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Play, Alternate Universe, Asexual Louis, F/F, F/M, Infantilism, Innocent Louis, Insecure Louis, Louis-centric, M/M, Male Lactation, Non-Sexual Age Play, Panic Attacks, nonsexual relationship between nick/harry and louis, the boys are still in one direction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 188,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5269181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikindaneedahero/pseuds/ikindaneedahero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a world filled with dom/sub classifications, and Louis won't take it. he doesn't need to give into his needs, he doesn't need a caregiver. he can live alone, he can care for himself. there's no need for anyone to know his true nature, to know that he's helpless. he's destined for a life of solitude, and he's okay with it. he promises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if there are any errors! Look for a long author's note at the end of this chapter :) Enjoy!!
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> official twitter: @needaherofic

If he recalled his biology lessons correctly, people started to feel it around 18. They were right, in a way. But he’s felt it a lot longer than 18. He thinks he’s always known. Maybe it was the way he couldn’t help his emotions, screaming when he was angry, laughing maniacally when he was happy, bouncing off the walls until he was sternly told to stop. It could be the way he looked to others for guidance, never quite sure that he could get it exactly right without the help of others. So, no. 18 didn’t change much. It brought it to the forefront of his mind; it became a part of him, stitched into his being. It was no longer something that he could look at as simply a part of himself, just one small part of his being. It was who he was. It was all he was.

 

If he chose a different career he may have been able to hide it better, and maybe, he wouldn’t have to hide it at all. He could live his life in peace, cared for in the way that he needed to be. But that’s not the way his life worked, was it? He was constantly in the spotlight, constantly being looked at by other people. Scrutinized in the way that only celebrities were, judged on what he said, what he wore, what he did, how he acted. It’s funny, that. His bandmates always brought up how crazy they found it that people could observe them in such a way, almost looking into their soul, seeing things that they didn’t even see about themselves.

 

Louis couldn’t relate, no, because even the most observant of fans didn’t have an edge on him. They couldn’t, because he had a secret to hide, and he had to do it well. Otherwise, he could lose everything. It would be over for him and for his boys. Every word that came out of his mouth was carefully crafted, every emotion he portrayed was robotic, something that perfectly embodied the person that he created of himself. Someone that he wasn’t.

 

“Hey Lou, are you coming?” Niall asked, shaking him from his thoughts. It had been a long day of interviews, the band remaining sedentary on a crammed couch while interviewer after interviewer switched places. He had shut himself in the green room, needing a moment to just breathe after being surrounded by countless people for the past eight hours.

 

“Where? Sorry, it’s been a day. Can’t seem to even remember what I had for breakfast,” Louis laughs, albeit halfheartedly.

 

“All good mate, you look like you need a good lie in. Going to 1 OAK, Z’s idea.”

 

“Nah, I’ll pass. Have a shot for me, eh?” Louis replied, smiling as best as he could. Niall let out a noise of assent, walking out with a wave.

 

Louis let out an exhale, closing his eyes. He was so tired. He knew he would only continue to get more and more tired until he got the care that he knew he needed. But couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

 

A rap on the green room door signaled that his car was ready, Alberto grabbing his bag. He didn’t know what he’d do without the man, he truly didn’t. He had to put his game face on, knowing that his bodyguard could sense that he was getting worse and worse as the days went on. He could put it off on the grueling schedule that their management had them on, but only for so long. Alberto had been with him since he was 16 now; he knew the man knew him better than that.

 

He let himself truly relax when he was laying in the plush hotel bed. He called down to the hotel restaurant for a glass of milk, mac and cheese, and some chicken nuggets, the most comforting of meals that he would allow himself. He rarely allowed himself the luxury of eating such childlike food, absolutely paranoid that he would give himself away. If he were anyone else, he wouldn’t be analyzing the food that he ordered. He would eat what he wanted when he wanted, but he didn’t have that luxury. He wasn’t a normal person.

 

Like he said, if he was anyone else, he would be normal. Classifications are normal. They’re a part of everyone’s lives, everyone’s biology. Classifications make sense, they allow for people to live the lives that they want to live without the embarrassment or hesitance to do so. They were not something to cage or trap you, that was engrained in Louis’ brain from his first biology class. The government didn’t tell you who to marry, they told you who you were, what you wanted, what you needed. That had always scared Louis, provoking him to shout questions out in class, wondering how the government knew who he was. They couldn’t know who he was just from taking his blood and giving him a test at age 18. There was no possible way. His teachers would always let it slide, giving him a sympathetic smile and telling him that he’d understand when the time came.

 

And they were right. He did understand. He understood the itch under his skin, the way that his mind was always racing, always hoping that someone would call him out on what he was. That someone lovely and caring would come up to him and call him out on it. Tell them they knew he was an l-sub. It would be mortifying, sure, but it would be a relief. No longer having to hide, no longer having to plan out every single move that he made. He was yearning for someone to be there for him, someone to notice that he couldn’t live like this any longer, couldn’t stand to make all of his decisions for himself. He needed someone, but he couldn’t ask for it, no, he couldn’t.

 

L-subs were something of an anomaly. With the way that classifications worked, there were three main groups: dominants, submissives, and generals. Colloquially known as doms, subs, and gads. Generals were those without a personality that veered either strongly to submitting or having the need to be submitted to. They lived their lives without a pressing need to be anything but themselves. To Louis, they were the lucky ones.

 

Doms and subs were divided into subsets depending on the needs that one had, if any. A majority of doms and subs were simply that, no sub group. They craved the presence of the other group, sure, but there was nothing that made them tick, nothing that they needed outside of the other person.

 

The subsets matched up, always a dom subset matching the sub’s. There were the p-subs, pets. The o-doms, owners. The s-subs, slaves. The m-doms, owners. These were normal. This was the world that they lived in, and there was nothing that anyone on earth could compare it to. This was the way that the world had been for as long as they knew it.

 

Reading a history book, one could see the way that the world used to be, full of gad relationships. But that wasn’t what all people needed; dom and sub relationships had been stigmatized in a negative way, and that no longer occurred.

 

The only stigma that existed was that towards l-subs. Louis knew this, this is why he had to hide. He had heard it his entire life, his mom sneering at him whenever he would cry as a child. Looking back on it, he knew that she always knew. How couldn’t she? he thought bitterly. He had everything that an l-sub would. His small stature, his emotions that changed at the flick of a switch, and his unending need for guidance from another.

 

His teachers would insist that everyone was the same, all classifications were equal. His mom laughed in the face of this, asking how anyone could see a little as equal to them.

 

And that’s what he was; a little. He never completely grew out of his adolescent mindset, not completely understanding the ins and outs of the world. Being the eldest in his band of five, he could tell that when Simon put them together he wanted Louis to be the leader. He tried, he really did. But he couldn’t. That’s not who he weas, and no matter how good he was at playing pretend, that was too far out of his reach. He didn’t think that the world’s best actor could play a character so outside of who they innately were.

 

P-doms were the counterpart of l-subs, aptly nicknamed m-doms for women, and d-doms for men. Parent doms existed as a protector, someone to take their little through the trials and tribulations that life presented them with.

 

The older one got, the more that their classification set in. It was something primal, something so engrained into one’s being that they existed as their classification. It was who they were, and something that cannot exist to be ignored.

 

But he had to ignore it. He was stronger than his needs… he had to be. He had to do it for his bandmates, the people who trusted him with their career. They all needed each other to be exactly who they were. Niall was the fun one, a gad. Zayn the quiet one, a dom. Liam the leader, another dom. Harry the protector, the d-dom. Harry was the only other member of the band with a subset, one that matched his subset perfectly. Louis was the innocent and sweet one, also a gad to the minds of his bandmates and the world.

 

His mom was the only one who knew what he really was, keeping it from everyone who they’d ever met. He did it for her, he did it for everyone he knew, from his bandmates, to Simon, to Hannah, the girl who does their laundry when they’re on tour. They were all counting on him to be a gad, to be someone normal.

 

There was a knock at his door, and he slowly picked himself up off of his bed. It was a waiter with his room service, and he thanked them with a tip, waving off their efforts to set up an elaborate spread on the large table the hotel provided. As soon as the door shut he picked up the food, moving it to his bed. He put his glass of milk on the small table next to his bed, hands shaking. It was something that happened more often than not as of late, something he accounted for as a symptom of his anxiety. He took the lid off of the food, breathing in the comforting scent of melted cheese and breaded chicken.

 

He picked up a spoon and dug into his macaroni. He concentrated on his movements, keeping an eye on the spoon as he brought it up to his mouth. All of the side effects of an l-sub without a caregiver were slowly presenting themselves in his day-to-day life.

 

It was in his biology, his textbook would say. He had to give into who he truly was, all people did. He thought it was bullshit. He was just fine by himself, he’d made it 21 years without having anyone take care of him in that way, why did he need someone now?

 

The question was rhetorical, of course, but it was one that could be answered in a ridiculously confusing way and Louis just didn’t need the answer to it.

 

Three years since presenting and his nature was starting to take a crippling toll on him. He scoured the Internet, looking for cases of people who hadn’t given into their classification, trying to find success stories. He hadn’t had any luck. He found horror stories of people who ended up in mental hospitals, so shaken up and out of their minds because of the way they rejected their true selves. But he was stronger than that.

 

At least he tried to be. There wasn’t much information of l-subs who attempted to reject their classification, most littles so desperate for affection and guidance that they almost immediately found a match or went to a matching agency. The stories that he could find consisted of people regressing slowly, motor skills no longer being what they used to, emotions flaring in the worst of situations. The worst of it all was a thread that wove through some of the l-sub stories he read. The loss of bladder control, something that forced a little to reach out to someone for help.

 

Of course, all littles were of different ages, there was no set way that a little would act. Louis has only seen a little twice in his life, they were nonexistent back in Yorkshire. Sometimes, when he’s especially indulgent, he allows himself to think of how young he’d regress back to. With all of the stresses of his life, he thinks he’d like to be quite little. Young enough to make no decisions, have someone decide what he eats and what he wears. Yeah. That’d be nice.

 

He’s snapped out of his reverie by a burning on his left forearm, looking down to see the macaroni he was attempting to feed himself had fallen off of the fork.

 

“Ouch,” he exclaims, eyes welling up with tears. He grabbed a napkin, carefully picking up the macaroni off his pained skin. He lets out another sob as he does so, the sticky residue of the cheese setting fire to his skin. He rarely lets himself cry, not wanting to let out the wall of tears he knows will inevitably come.

 

He gets up from his bed on wobbly feet, bracing himself to walk over to the sink to run his arm under cold water. He hears a knock on the door and tries to silence himself. He lets out pathetic whimpers, unable to completely calm his breathing.

 

“Lou? Is everything okay?” asks a concerned voice, muffled from the other side of the hotel room door. Harry. Of course he wouldn’t go out tonight, Louis thinks bitterly.

 

He breathed as slowly as he could, trying to steady his voice before answering. He failed. “I-I’m okay, just-t burnt myself.” He sounded weak to his own ears, clearly not okay. He can only imagine what Harry was thinking.

 

“Let me in so I can see it?” Harry asked simply, his worry showing in his voice.

 

Louis shook his head, forgetting momentarily that Harry couldn’t see him.

 

“Thanks H, I’m good, mate. J-just a little burn,” the laugh he let out seemed fake even to

 

“I have your key, Lou, I’m coming in.”

 

There was a beep before the door opened, signaling that the keycard worked. Harry opened the door slowly; making sure Louis was no longer standing in front of it. He let out a sympathetic noise when he saw Louis standing outside of the bathroom, holding his arm with tears running down his face. Pathetic, Louis thought to himself, you look like a baby.

 

As a p-dom, it was engrained in Harry’s being to care for others, to make sure that they were okay. Louis could always tell when Harry was slipping into that mode, and this was one of those times. He walked towards Louis slowly, looking down at his arm.  He grabbed his right arm gently, slowly pulling him into the bathroom. He put the lid down on the toilet before slowly pushing Louis’ shoulders down so that he was sitting. He knelt down so he was eye level with Louis.

 

Harry looked into Louis’ eyes, tears still running down his face in a constant stream. “Can I look at your arm please, Lou?” he asked in a soft tone.

 

Louis nodded. He was screaming at himself internally, knowing that this was not okay. This shouldn’t be happening; he couldn’t show weakness like this. This was how people got figured out. He couldn’t blow his cover over something so stupid and menial. But he couldn’t help it, not when Harry was so comforting and willing to assist him.

 

“Sorry,” Louis stuttered out, “I don’t know why I’m being such a fuckin’ baby. You can go back to your room, I’ve got it.” He tried not to flinch as he swore. He’d always hated cuss words, especially when they’re coming out of his mouth. They sound so harsh, so foreign coming from him.

 

“I’m not leaving you, Lou, not when you’re this upset. And you’re not being a baby, it’s a nasty burn, I’d be crying too,” Harry said, winking at Louis.

 

Louis’ always been in awe of Harry, of the way that he can always put him at ease, bring him down from the most awful of moods. He guesses that maybe all p-doms are like that, but he knows he’s wrong. Nick Grimshaw does not have the same calming effect as Harry, no; instead he works to boil Louis’ blood every time he’s in the same vicinity as him.

 

Harry’s phone rings, the man letting out a noise of apology before reaching into the back pocket of his skin tight jeans and answering the call.

 

“Hey babe, yeah. Give me a second,” Harry presses the phone between his shoulder and his ear, keeping concentration on the cold washcloth that he was pressing to Louis’ burn.

 

Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear. Harry’s boyfriend was the one and only Nick Grimshaw, Louis’ self-proclaimed nemesis. Not that Nick knew Louis hated him, Louis was far too shy for anyone to ever even realize that he harbored ill will for them. It just begged the question of whether or not Louis actually hated Nick. The answer was no. Was Louis scared of Nick? Maybe. Was he uncomfortable around him? Definitely. 

 

It was common for p-doms to date, waiting for a little to come into their lives. From what little Louis knew, as he never wanted to ask, that’s what Harry and Nick were doing. They made him sick, the way that they stared at each other with literal hearts in their eyes, gravitating around each other like they were the only two people on earth.

 

Everyone talked about how lucky they were to be so in love, to have found the one. Louis couldn’t say that he agreed. He didn’t need love, didn’t even want it. All he wanted was someone to care for him, someone to tell him that they were always there for him. It seemed so simple when put into words, but he was impossible, he knew it was.

“Harry, I’m fine. Just go talk to Nick,” Louis finally let out. He already blew his cover enough, he could handle his wound himself. And maybe he didn’t want to listen to Nick’s muffled voice through the phone any longer.

 

Harry looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes, Louis used his good arm to shoo him off, rolling his eyes as playfully as he could. He hesitantly stood up, giving Louis a quick kiss on the forehead as he bid him goodnight.

 

Louis blushed beet red, feeling his heart flutter quickly. The love that he craved was there and gone in a second, leaving him alone in his hotel room.

 

He dragged himself over to the bed, lifting the tray of food off of the duvet and dumping it on the floor. He sighed, closing his eyes and trying to shut off his mind.

 

He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but there was one thing that he knew for sure. He was going to make it through this, and he was going to do it alone. Because that’s how it had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is similar to anything that you've ever read, then I apologize. Obviously, as an author people are impacted by fics that they've read previously, but this is something that I've been thinking of writing for a long while. It's definitely going to be a bit of a slow burn, I want it to be as realistic as possible.
> 
> If there is anything that you want to read, any scenarios, anything you envision after reading the first chapter, then please let me know. Let me know what doesn't make sense.
> 
> The world will be put together for yall throughout the chapters, so if everything doesn't make complete sense, then that's okay :) 
> 
> If you don't like Nick and Harry together, then this is not the fic for you. I am not a huge Nick/Harry fan in the best of worlds, but for this fic to work how I want it to with Louis being Louis' character, they are going to be together :) Just letting you know now so you aren't disappointed as you read on further.
> 
> A spoiler: there will be infantilism in this fic, and Louis will regress. It will happen slowly, as I said. 
> 
> Message me or comment if you want to talk about the fic! Hoping that there is a good reaction to it. 
> 
> read: please comment!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!! :)
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic

The bigger the band got, the less they interacted with fans. It made sense. The rest of the boys wanted more interaction with the fans, wanted a chance to thank them. They were selfless, good people. It made Louis feel terrible for wanting to be as far away from the fans as possible.

 

His anxiety was never worse than it was when he was interacting with their fans. He had to worry about what someone would say, knowing he would have to talk to them. He couldn’t be shy and sweet when fans came up to him; he had to be larger than life. And that was hard for him. It wasn’t who he was; he was never a people person. He liked staying in with the boys, lying on the sofa playing FIFA. Simple and scheduled. Nothing could go wrong. 

 

But today, he had to be the Louis that his fans thought he was. Goofy, mischievous, and full of energy. With the release of their new book, their management had scheduled them a book signing in LA. Why not milk them for all they were worth while they had the time?

 

American fans were always something else. Louis wasn’t sure what made them this way, but he knew from four years of touring the United States that they were brash and unashamed. They would interrupt private dinners, sneak through laundry chutes to get to their hotel floor, and throw whatever they could get their hands on onstage. The other boys found it funny and endearing, but it caused Louis nothing but great anxiety. He liked having things planned out, knowing exactly what was going to happen. But with these fans, there was no way of knowing that everything would go according to plan. He could only hope that it did.

 

He was sitting in the backroom of the bookstore on a couch, waiting for the signal from Paddy for them to walk out. He didn’t realize that he was tapping his leg so incessantly until he felt a soft hand placed on his thigh.

 

He looked up into warm brown eyes, blushing at being caught.

 

“You good, Lou?” Liam asked, concern evident on his face. Liam was the worrier, the leader of the group. He wanted to make sure that everyone was okay all of the time. He was such a stereotypical dom, a textbook’s dream, if Louis was honest. Louis was the object of his worry a lot of the time, the man somehow knowing that Louis had a harder time getting through the day than the others.

 

Liam attributed it to insecurity and anxiety, traits that were rare for gads, but still existed in the classification from time to time.

 

“Yeah, sorry,” he blushed further, “just nervous. You know how signings make me.” He looked down, not wanting Liam to see how red he’d gotten. Sometimes he thought it was a miracle that no one had figured him out, especially in the past few months. He made it so obvious. He couldn’t help but hope that there would be a look of knowing in Liam’s eyes, finally putting all of the pieces together. So he could end this, so he could finally stop pretending.

 

“No worries, Lou,” Liam crooned in his calming voice, “it’ll be over soon. Just sit next to me and tap me if you need anything, yeah?”

 

Louis nodded in assent as he stood up, the boys getting the signal to walk out. Niall, Zayn, and Harry ran in from outside, each wanting to get their last breath of fresh air before being crammed in between bookshelves for two hours.

 

Harry walked up to him, curious eyes landing on the gauze that covered Louis’ left arm. He says nothing, just rubbing up and down Louis’ back once as if he knows he needs it. And he does. Louis breathes deeply before following Liam out to face the screaming crowd of fans.

 

The beginning of the signing goes well, fans being just as flustered as Louis himself. It gives him a sense of relief that they’re just as nervous to talk to him as he is to them. In the back of his mind he knows how ridiculously silly it is to be scared to talk to people who paid to see him, but he can’t shake it.

 

A few girls in he felt a pressing pain in his bladder, and he willed himself not to think about it. He knows he can’t get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of an event, he’ll just have to hold it. Like a grown up.

 

He smiled at girls as they come up to him, making him blush at all of the kind things they had to say about him. It’ll always be something of a wonder to Louis, the way that the fans react to them. They hold them in the best light without even knowing them, marveling at every little thing they do. It both amazed him and scared him, the power that they held over the lives of these girls.

 

His hands started to get shaky when he could see the line ending, his muscles no longer wanting to cooperate. He began to panic, never having to deal with symptoms of his classification before while in a public place. He grit his teeth, knowing that he only had a few more girls to get through.

 

He heard a loud, animated voice talking to Harry who’s to his left, a girl of only 15 or so who was already coming into herself as a dom. It was easy to tell; doms always brash and assured, subs were quieter, and gads were a bit of both. This girl was a dom in stature and in tone, asserting herself in conversation with Harry as though he wasn’t one of the richest and most famous people on earth. Louis was in awe of her.

 

She made her way down to him, barking out his name as they made eye contact. He smiled at her, taking her book and flipping to a picture of him that he wanted to sign.

 

“What are you doing?” she asks, seemingly angry. He looks up, confused, nervousness boiling in the pit of his stomach at her harsh tone.

 

“I want you to sign the cover, God, why would you sign one that the rest didn’t? Common sense, Louis, don’t be an idiot,” she laughs at her own words. The rest of the boys have stopped what they’re doing at this point, seemingly waiting for his reaction to her.

 

He laughs weakly, tossing out a quick sorry as an apology. He grabs the sharpie with a shaking hand. He couldn’t be more mortified with everyone watching him fail to get the lid off.

 

Harry leans over, “you cold, Lou? You’re shaking like it’s 10 degrees in here!” He grabs the lid off of the marker easily, allowing for Louis to scribble his name as best he can.

 

Looking at his signature, the girl laughs. “Are you two years old?” she asks, “My little sister could write her name better than that and she’s five!”

 

Louis looks down, willing the tears in his eyes not to fall. He’s grateful for Liam as he engages the mean girl in conversation, taking her attention away from him.

 

He signs a few more books before the session is over, getting up from his seat as fast as humanly possible. He raced to the backroom, politely making his way through the swarm of 1D personnel to get to the bathroom. He breathes a sigh of relief when he makes it in time; having seen increased bladder problems over the past month or so. It wasn’t that he was having accidents all of the time; it was that he was cutting it too close, beginning to go in his pants right as he got to the bathroom. He'd only had a few full fledged daytime accidents, and he couldn't even think about them without wanting to bang his head into a wall. He was losing control, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 

He didn’t allow himself time to think about the girl’s harsh commentary. He didn’t know what the boys thought of her words, but all he knew was that it hit too close to home. He was no better than her five-year-old sister, not being able to even write his own name in a legible manner. He breathed deeply before walking out of the bathroom.

 

Harry stood outside of the door, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He had a worried look on his face that he tried to school into a neutral expression when he saw Louis step out.

 

He walked over to the smaller man, looking down at him intensely.

 

 “You good?”

 

“Yeah,” Louis answered as casually as he could, “why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Harry gave him a look as if to say, you think I don’t know you better than that? Louis crumpled under his stare, looking down at the ground.

 

“I’m fine. Just a fan being a fan? It was funny, yeah?” He asked, looking up and giving Harry a halfhearted smile.

 

He shook his head, curls whipping with fervor. “No, it wasn’t funny. She was making fun of you, and of littles. Two things she has no right to talk about like that.”

 

Louis raised a hand as if to say, no, don’t worry about it, I’m fine. But Harry knew him better than that, he always had.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Louis? I’m just a bit worried about you. You seem off,” Harry asks.

 

“I’m fine, promise. Just a little hurt by her comment, but it’s my fault. I should have signed what she wanted me to sign. It was deserved.” Louis looked at Harry one last time before walking away, removing himself from the conversation that he didn’t want to have.

 

If he were to look back at Harry he would have seen him sputtering, unsure of how Louis had moved from point A to point Z so quickly. On no planet did he deserve to be talked down to by another person, let alone a fan of theirs. Harry entered the band as the youngest, but he never felt that way. From the beginning he had felt a deep sense of desire to protect Louis, to make sure he was okay. The Doncaster boy was insecure, innocent in a way that the others weren’t. He was very timid for a gad, but Harry took it in stride. He knew that he was a d-dom from the time he was 14, and even if Louis wasn’t a little, he needed a little protection. And Harry was more than happy to give him it.

 

\------------------------------

 

Louis was lying in his pitch-black hotel room, staring up at the ceiling. It was something he found himself doing a lot lately, thinking about his life in a bigger sense. He tried to think day to day, but there was a necessity to think of the big picture. Of where he’d be five years from now, still pretending to be a gad. He didn’t think he could do it; more, he knew he couldn’t do it. It was never done before.

 

He eventually sat up, grabbing his computer. He looked at the bright screen before typing in a website he allowed himself to go to when he was feeling particularly indulgent.

 

It was set up by the government, a temporary matching service with either a dom or sub in one’s subset. It was referred to as “the Quench” by people, referring to the way that it quenched one’s thirst for whatever they were looking for. It was for people who didn’t have time to date or people who were trying to figure out exactly who they were. Louis would use it as a way of getting what he needed with the discretion he needed. But he hadn’t, of course. He couldn’t use it, the embarrassment that filled every inch of his being when he looked at the website was too much. He shouldn’t want this, he couldn’t want this. But he did. He just did. He could have an internal argument as much as he wanted, but at the end the result would always be that yes, he wanted it. He wanted a daddy. He needed someone to be there to care for him, to love him, to discipline him. He ached for it.

 

He must have been feeling particularly miserable or bold, because he took the initiative for the first time to put his mouse over the “find match” button after typing in that he was in Los Angeles. When one turned 18, the government took the liberty of setting every citizen, besides gads, of course, with a profile on the matching site. “Just in case”, they said.

 

Just as Louis was about to click the bright green button, his phone lit up with a text. He breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that this was a sign from above that he was stronger than using the site.

 

He grabbed his phone, heart simultaneously dropping and soaring when he saw whom the text was from. He was confused, wondering what he could have done to receive a text from Nick Grimshaw.

 

In private, he allowed himself to think about the man, but only when he was alone. He made him nervous, that was a given. The way that Nick had looked at him since he was 16, thrust into this life of fame and public scrutiny was a way in which no one had ever looked at him. He looked at him like he knew Louis’ secret, even before it was a secret to keep. He talked to him differently than he talked to Liam, Zayn, and Niall, treating them like old buds, his sarcasm and sharp wit in full effect. He had been with Harry for two years now, since Harry was 17, before he’d even presented.

 

Everyone who had the chance to be within a 1000-foot radius of the couple knew that they were sickeningly in love, absolutely perfect for each other. It was hard for Louis to watch them most of the time. It wasn’t because of the fact that they were in love, no, that’s not what Louis needed. It was the way that they had the chance to be themselves, to give into their nature and not be judged for it.

 

Louis tried to avoid Nick as much as possible, paranoid that the man did know what he was. If Louis was thinking realistically, he’d know that he couldn’t, there was no way for him to know unless he told him himself. Classifications were classified information, for lack of a better term. There was no way anyone could find out unless Louis told him or her himself. His mother was the only other person who knew, and there was no chance in hell she would tell anyone, ever.

 

He remembers every interaction that he has had with Nick, the way that the man makes him feel. If he asked Zayn to describe Nick he knows he would say that he’s a bit mean and takes joy in making fun of others, all in the name of making his listeners laugh. He was the host of BBC Radio 1’s Breakfast Show, and the whole of the UK loved him.

 

The first time that he realized that Nick treated him differently was their first time attending a red carpet premiere. _The boys were at an after party, his bandmates were wasted, off in different corners of the room schmoozing whatever celebrity came up to them._

 

_Louis was sitting at the bar, doing his best to breathe and not panic. Social situations were a bit much for him, too many people, too much drinking, and music that was too loud. He was tired, having to pinch himself to stay awake. He’d always had an early bedtime, something that came with being a little. His internal clock was wired differently than most people’s, requiring a nap every day. It became hard to fit one in with their grueling schedule, leading him to be absolutely exhausted at the end of most days._

_He looked at the bartender, wanting to get his attention. He caught his eye, and shyly waved him over._

_“H-hi,” he said nervously, not really sure how these interactions worked, “can I please have a water, sir?”_

_The man laughed, shaking his head good-naturedly. “Such good manners, not something you see around here often. A water, that’s a riot. What can I get for you? Vodka and cranberry sound good?”_

_“Just a water, please?” Louis asked again, unsure of why his request was being treated as something laughable._

_“Are you sur-“ the bartender started to ask._

_“Just get the boy a bloody water, not everyone wants to ruin their liver with your concoctions, Matt” a loud voice interrupted._

_Louis looked up to see Nick Grimshaw settling himself in the seat next to him. He blushed profusely, giving him a small smile before looking down._

_The man behind the bar handed the glass of water over to Nick who carefully set it down in front of Louis._

_“There you are darling,” Nick said in a soft tone, completely different from the way that he’d addressed the bartender._

_“Thank you,” Louis answered quietly, giving him yet another grateful smile._

_“No problem, Louis. You look like you’re about to fall asleep, why don’t you head home soon?” Nick questioned._

_“I’m not really sure how to leave. Harry usually makes sure_ _we end up home, I’m not sure where he ran off to.” Louis truthfully answered as Nick looked around the room for his boyfriend._

 

_“A social butterfly, that boy. He’s there and gone in an instant. Would you like me to get you a ride home?” Nick asked, feeling pity for the boy. He wasn’t sure why he felt such a need to protect Louis, but he did. Maybe it was the way he seemed like he was always trying to curl in on himself, making sure that no one would notice him. Maybe it was the way that he would see Louis interact with his bandmates, always looking to one of them for praise, to see if he was singing well or saying the right thing. For a gad, he was absolutely precious, Nick could admit that._

_“Would you really? That would be great, thank you. I feel so out of my element right now, this isn’t really my scene.” Louis said, looking up at Nick gratefully._

_“Of course, let’s get you out of here and back to your warm bed,” Nick said in an enthusiastic voice, drawing a small giggle out of Louis._

 

And that was why Louis was wary of Nick. He treated him more like a little than anyone he knew, and Louis craved it. He knew that he was safe with Nick, and he loathed the way that he felt so comfortable around him. It made things so much harder.

 

He finally typed in his passcode on his phone, going to look at the text from Nick. As soon as he opened it he started to cry, unable to keep his emotions at bay.

 

**Hope everything is okay after the signing. H told me what happened and that you seemed upset. Not that my word means much to you, but you aren’t stupid. I hope you know that. You’re a smart and lovely boy.**

 

He wasn’t sure why he was crying so much, it could have been the way that Nick had the heart to text him in the first place, or it could have been the praise that he so desperately desired. If anyone else would have calmed him a boy, as if he was a child, he would’ve been indignant, but this was okay. This was Nick, that’s the way that he talked to Louis. It made him feel special, knowing that someone cared about him enough to send a message like that.

 

He wiped his eyes before replying to the text.

 

_Thanks, Nick. You’re way nicer to me than I deserve, I appreciate it._

 

He made sure to include a few random emojis to lighten the text before sending it out. Almost instantly there was a reply of a multitude of heart emojis. Before Louis could even think about replying, there was a knock on his door.

 

He turned the light on before answering, not wanting whoever it was to be concerned by the tomb like ambiance of his room.

 

As he opened the door, he smiled seeing that it was Zayn.

 

Zayn walked in without invitation, settling himself on the leather couch situated in the center of the room.

 

“Gotta proposition for you, mate.” Zayn started, smiling wickedly. Louis gave him a pointed look, waiting for him to go on.

 

“You’re 21, yeh?” Zayn asked, Louis rolling his eyes as the lad obviously knew the answer, “Well, yeah. You’re 21, and you’ve never drank before. Ever. We have one night left in LA, we’re gonna live it up, Tommo. You, me, the lads, we’re gonna have a night on the town. You’re gonna get smashed.”

 

Louis paled at his words, not really knowing how to reply. “I don’t know Zayn, I have fun without drinking, don’t I?”

 

“Of course you do, but we wanna see you get drunk. It’ll be more fun than you’ve ever had, I promise. We’ll all be there watching you, you’ll be safe.”

 

Regardless of how stupid Zayn’s idea was, Louis knew that he was serious about watching out for him. If anything, he was serious about his classification as a dominant, always watching out for his little sisters and gad bandmates. It was part of who Zayn was.

 

“Come on, Lou. Have some fun, you’re always so uptight. It’s one night.”

 

“Fine. I’ll do it,” Louis sighed. He knew he wouldn’t actually drink, he couldn’t trust himself to. His emotions got the best of him in sober situations, so he couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he got drunk. But a drink, maybe. He’d never had alcohol before, maybe tomorrow was the time to try it.

 

“You won’t regret it, Lou! It’ll be the sickest night of your life,” Zayn promised, standing up and heading towards the door.

 

Louis wasn’t sure what would happen the following night, but he hoped that Zayn was right and that he wouldn’t regret it.

 

After deadbolting the door, he walked to the bathroom, making sure he went before going to sleep. It was embarrassing, having to make sure he went to the bathroom before he went to sleep to make sure he didn’t have an accident. They happened occasionally, thankfully while he was at home in London.

 

He washed his hands, heading back to the bed and pulling his covers over his body. He fell asleep almost instantly, a testament to how exhausted he was. He slept peacefully for most of the night, but suddenly woke up to the feeling of wet in between his legs.

 

“No, no, no, no,” he breathed, reaching down to feel his soaked pants and pajama bottoms. He tried to think rationally, but he couldn’t stop the flow of tears that were coming down his face. He got out of bed, getting a headache from the stench of urine that surrounded him. He walked to the bathroom, carefully taking off his pajamas and pants, throwing them to the tiled floor with a resolute slapping noise from the liquid they were soaked with.

 

He stepped into the shower, wanting to rid himself of the feeling of wetting himself. He had to think about what to do, never before having wet himself in a hotel. He couldn’t just leave it, that would be bad. Everyone knew he was staying at this hotel, in this room. There was no way that any reputable maid would believe it was just water, with one look and one sniff that would be doubted.

 

These were the times that he wished he had a daddy. They would know what to do, how to comfort him and take control of the situation. But he didn’t have one, so he had to think of the next best thing, or person to help.

 

He got out of the shower, changing into new pajamas while his mind raced. He cursed his body, his mind, the entire world. Whatever made him like this. It was one thing to have an accident during the day, he changed pants and jeans, it was easy. No one had to know. But a hotel room? He had to get some help.

 

He couldn’t go to one of his bandmates, of that he was certain. They couldn’t know, he kept this secret to protect them, and he would continue to protect them. It was best if they were kept in the dark.

 

He could go to Lou, sure. She has a young daughter, but she’s a gad. He doesn’t know if she’d completely understand.

 

He knew who to talk to, the only person he could completely trust. He walked out of his room, closing the door slowly to make sure there was no noise coming from it. It was convenient that his room was next door, making his walk of shame a little less shameful. He knocked quietly on the door, almost hoping that he didn’t hear, but of course he did. That’s his job.

 

Alberto opened the door up almost immediately, eyebrows rising into his hairline when he saw the tear stained face of Louis. Over the four years that he had spent as his personal bodyguard, Alberto had grown ridiculously fond of Louis. He spent more time with the boy than anyone else did, and he had nothing but dazzling things to say about him. It took a lot for someone to put off finding a mate, and Alberto put off finding a sub for this boy.

He grabbed the small boy’s arm, pulling him into his room and shutting the door. Almost immediately he grasped him, digging his face into his guard’s stomach, bawling. It was reflexive, the quick way that Alberto picked the boy up, carrying him over to his bed and setting him on his lap. He pet his hair as he cried, letting out soft noises. A word that no one would use to describe Alberto Alvarez is nurturing. He’s a brutish dom, big and brooding. That’s why he was a bodyguard, he was valiant and had an urge to help others. And if hugging was what his boy needed, he would hug him.

 

Louis’ mind was foggy, thoughts no longer running through his mind, he could only focus on his emotions. He had no intelligible way of getting his words out; he could only seem to cry. And it felt so good, to cry and have someone hold him while doing so. It was the first time someone had seen him cry since he was 8 years old when his mom told him that men don’t cry and she never wanted to see him do it again.

 

His crying let up eventually, Alberto rubbing his back softly as he waited for the boy to explain what this was all about. Louis’ inkling of Alberto guessing what his true classification was 100% correct.. The man had always thought the boy was too soft, too innocent to be a gad. But it wasn’t his job to investigate the classification of his charge, so he never asked.

 

“I-I’m sorry, Albs. I don’t know what came over me,” Louis lied, embarrassed to have shown himself in such a way to another person. He tried to slide off of the man’s lap, but Alberto held him there firmly, holding him close.

 

“You think I don’t know you better than that, bud?” Alberto asked softly, “Now tell me what’s actually wrong so that I can help.”

 

“I had an accident… in my bed,” he whispered, unable to say it loudly, not wanting the shameful words to pierce the air.

 

“That’s all? No need to get so worked up over that, buddy, we can just get the housekeeping service up here and it’ll be clean in no time.” Alberto had answered quickly, surprising himself at how well he had reacted to the information. It was a testament to how long he had suspected that Louis was hiding something. And it seemed that he was hiding his classification for a reason; Alberto wanted to be there to help him come to terms with it, not to add to the problem.

 

There was no doubt in his mind that Louis was a little, not with the way that he was looking up at him, tears glistening in his wide, blue eyes. He’d never looked younger then he did at that moment, so scared and raw.

 

“But they’re gonna know it’s me,” he whimpers. It was one thing for Alberto to know, it was another thing for the world to find out. He was surprised at how light he felt after letting his secret out after keeping it in for so long. One person now knew the darkest and most intimate part of him, and the burden was no longer all his.

 

“How’s this, I call down and tell them that my daughter was up for the day visiting me and her potty training wasn’t as concrete as we thought it was. If they ask where she is now, I’ll say she’s sleeping in my room.”

 

Louis looked at the man in wonder, unsure of how he’d concocted an alternate story so quickly. He nodded, letting Alberto know that he was in agreement with the tale.  He turned red in shame as his guard explained what had happened to the front desk, the phone conversation lasting for what seemed like an eternity.

 

“All done, they’ll be up to clean it in a minute, he said it’ll be as good as new in twenty minutes. You good?” Alberto asked, observing the way that Louis had his arms wrapped around his body, sitting on the far edge of the bed.

 

“Yeah, I’m just embarrassed. That’s something a little would do, not a gad. Thanks for being so cool about it.”

 

Alberto weighed his options before replying, knowing that he could gently explain to Louis that his cover was completely blown. There was no way on earth he was a gad after the way that he had reacted to the actions of the past night, let alone the fact that he peed the bed at all. Or he could just go along with Louis’ narrative, letting the boy believe he was none the wiser.

 

He ended up choosing the second option. Louis would come to him when he was ready, wouldn’t he? And if the stories he heard were correct, this was just the beginning of Louis’ little side coming out. It was the first of the overnight accidents, the emotional outbursts, the need for love and guidance. He would have to tell someone eventually, and based on the way that Louis had come straight to his room, that someone would be him.

 

“That’s what I’m here for, Lou. You can just stay here until your room is ready if you want, or you can feel free to spend the night. Your call.”

 

“Thanks, Albs. Sorry for putting this on you, I just… don’t trust anyone the way I trust you.”

 

Alberto patted him on the back, letting him know that everything was okay.

 

Louis stood up to leave, giving his guard a small smile before walking out of the room and back to his. It was clean when he walked in, looking like it had before his traitorous bladder ruined his duvet. He made sure to go to the bathroom again before settling down into the bed. He fell asleep for a second time, hoping that this time he would be able to sleep through the night with no accidents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is about the length that I want the rest of the chapters to be, a little more than 5,000 words. I'm in uni and driving home for Thanksgiving break tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be able to have another chapter out by tomorrow night.
> 
> Please comment! Your comments make me so happy, and I really want to hear where you think the story is going and what you want to see. In regards to what you want to see, it can be different interactions between the characters, scenarios you want to happen before/after the age play starts, anything :) thanks all, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy it!!  
> official twitter: @needaherofic

On the plus side, Louis woke up dry. On the completely terrible side, he peed himself on the elevator back up to his room after lunch. Thankfully he was by himself and able to be mortified in his solitude. He took a long nap that afternoon, knowing that he’d be out late with the boys.

 

He wasn’t sure why he was actually going out, it was something he only ever did if he was forced into it after an awards show or Harry begged him sweetly. He couldn’t help but fall for his eyes; he doesn’t think anyone can resist Harry’s charm.

 

He ordered room service, only spilling a few bites on himself and he was feeling quite proud of himself. Tired once again, he fell back asleep. He was getting more and more tired as the days dragged on; he was ready for a break. He had a week off after they left LA the next morning, and his bed was the only thing that was on his mind. 24 hours to go, it was the homestretch.

 

He woke up to a loud banging on his door, disoriented by the pitch black of the room. He looked at the clock, realizing that he’d slept for another 3 hours. 10:24pm.

 

“Let’s go Tommo! You’re not skipping out on us,” Niall yelled, laughing raucously.

 

“How could I ever do that to you, Ni?” he asked sarcastically as he opened the door, letting the gad in.

 

Niall was already dressed, wearing yet another pair of fake glasses. Louis and the others teased him incessantly about them, but Niall continued to insist that they were cool and trendy.

 

“I don’t know, Lou, looks like you’re ready for a night in from the way you’re dressed.”

 

“I fell asleep, just give me a minute.”

 

Louis walked over to his suitcase, beginning to rummage through. Lou Teasdale, the band’s stylist, was a blessing in disguise for Louis. She always picked out his clothes, making sure he looked as good as he possibly could. He’d always had trouble picking out his own clothes, not sure of whether or not his clothes suited him.

 

“Oi, what’s the hold up?” Harry asked, walking into Louis’ room.

 

“This one’s just digging through his suitcase like something new is going to appear if he tries hard enough,” Niall said with a lazy point towards Louis.

 

“Would it kill you to chill for half a second, Nialler? I can’t find anything to wear,” Louis said, looking up at Harry. He sits on the ground in front of his suitcase, seemingly giving up on the hunt for clothes.

Harry walked over, bending down by the suitcase. He looked at Louis’ clothes for all of two seconds before procuring an outfit. He hands it to Louis with a small smile, the smaller boy giving his arm a squeeze in thanks.

 

Louis didn’t need to look at the outfit to know that it’s what he wanted to wear; he just headed to the bathroom to put it on. He trusted Harry with his life, he was sure that he trusted him to pick out an outfit. He throws on his signature black jeans and a black and red striped shirt he didn’t even know he owned. He looked good; he looked like a gad that was ready to hit the town. A normal 21 year old, he could pretend, even if it was only for the night.

 

He stepped out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth, ready to go. The panic of not knowing what was to come that night was settling in the pit of his stomach, slowly creeping into every fiber of his being. He knew he couldn’t think about all of the things that could possibly go wrong, or his anxiety would cripple him. He tried to remain positive. He knew that his boys would take care of him. Zayn promised. And if they didn’t fulfill that promise, then Alberto would. He could honestly say that he didn’t want to look in Alberto’s eyes for a good 3,000 years, but he knew the man would be there to help him no matter what, just like he always was.

 

“Lads night out! Let’s do this!” Niall screamed, fist pumping the air. In the time that Louis was gone Zayn and Liam had made their way into his room, all of them now filing out behind Niall.

 

They headed to Bootsy Bellows, a club that Louis had heard Liam absolutely raving about before. He wasn’t really sure why it mattered what club they went to, but he trusted the man’s judgment. They were skirted to the front of the line as soon as they got there, the five boys being followed in by Paddy and Alberto. They made their way to the VIP section that had been curtained off for them, providing Louis with a sense of relief. The exclusivity of the section lessened his anxiety a bit, the sheer amount of people on the dance floor was enough to make him want to go home before the night even began.

 

There were quite a few people in the VIP section, some that he’d seen at award shows once or twice. They headed up to the bar, Louis standing awkwardly behind his bandmates as they ordered their favorite drinks with ease.

 

“You ready for this, mate?” Zayn asked him, handing over a glass with a reddish pink drink inside.

 

Louis looked at him uncertainly, shaking his head with a small smile. “We’ll see. What exactly is this?”

 

“Vodka cranberry, it’s tame. You’ll like it, promise.” Louis blushed at the drink’s name, transported back in time to the night he’d first truly conversed with Nick at the bar.

“Well, here goes nothing!” Louis said, feeling a rush of energy. Liam, Niall, and Zayn cheered loudly. If he were to have looked at Harry’s face he would’ve seen a look of concern. Harry wasn’t sure what had made Louis want to drink after five years of denying his bandmates, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He knew he had no claim over Louis, he was a gad. He could hold his own. If he watched his eldest bandmate a little more closely than usual, then no one had to know.

 

Louis was delighted to find out that his drink tasted like juice, and nothing like the disgusting liquid that he thought alcohol would taste like. So he finished his first drink. And then he had a second. And a third. And a fourth.

 

It seemed like a good idea at first, the perfect way to forget his life, if only for a night. Dramatic, yes, but… he had always had a penchant for drama.

 

If he were to have had any sober thinking ability left, he would’ve seen the worried face of Alberto, sitting at a booth near where Louis was dancing. Every fiber of his being told him to go to his charge and take him back to the hotel and make sure he was safely tucked into bed. The club was no place for the boy sober, let alone as drunk as he was. Alberto was worried he was going to fall over any second, his dancing comprised of teetering from side to side like a piece of paper blowing in the wind. But no, he couldn’t take Louis away from the fun; he knows the small man would never forgive him. But he could go to Harry who was also giving Louis looks of deep concern. He got up from the booth, giving Paddy a signal that he’d be right back. He tapped Harry out of the crowd of sweaty bodies, signaling for him to follow him to the bar.

 

“What’s up? Everything okay?” Harry asked, brow furrowed as he leaned his body against the bar.

 

“Yeah, yeah, all good. Just watch out for Louis, hm?” That was all Alberto needed to say, Harry understanding where the man’s worry came from.

 

Completely oblivious to the conversation that was finishing up at the bar, Louis was feeling good. At least he believed that this was what feeling free and intoxicated felt like. He couldn’t be completely sure, all he knew was that he could barely feel his fingers and face. But he could feel his bladder, and it was about to burst. He was of enough mind to realize that having an accident here was not something he wanted to happen. He allowed himself the liberty of shaking Niall’s shoulder, as he was the closest of his mates to him.

 

“Ni,” Louis slurred into his ear, gripping his shoulder, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

 

Niall looked at him, laughing, “so go to the bathroom, Tommo! The VIP loo is right back there,” he said, pointing to an area behind him.

 

Louis looked at him again with glazed eyes, letting out a breath. “I need help, mmm I can barely stand, Nialler.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Niall said, looking around, “let me get daddy over here.”

 

He yelled for Harry, who was just making his way back to the dance floor.

 

Harry looked at Niall, who whispered in his ear. “Lou needs to go to the bathroom, reckons he can’t go by himself. Figured this was your domain.”

 

Harry nodded, needing no further explanation. He looked at Louis, who was swaying on the spot, looking like he was going to fall asleep on his feet. He moved over to him, grabbing his chin gently.

 

“Loulou, we’re gonna go to the bathroom now, okay?” Harry asked in a soft tone. Louis nodded, leaning into Harry’s side. Harry took that as his cue to start walking them to the bathroom, putting his arm around Louis to hold him steady. He signaled to Alberto to follow, wanting to make sure they had privacy in the bathroom.

 

“Hazza, I really need to go,” Louis whimpered into his ear.

 

“You can hold it for me, Lou, we’re almost there,” Harry assured him, simultaneously picking up the pace.

 

They made it to the bathroom that was empty, walking in while Alberto positioned himself outside of it.

 

“There you go, Lou, I’ll be waiting out here.” Harry jumped up on the counter, set to wait for his bandmate to finish up.

 

Louis stood staring at him, wide-eyed. “I-I… could you help me? Please? Need help with my jeans. Don’t wanna have an accident.”

 

Harry didn’t even have to think before hopping down. If it was anyone else he would’ve hesitated, but this was Louis. His little, innocent Louis. Harry would help him with anything he needed, because he knew Louis would never ask for something he didn’t need. That was how Louis was, a genuine and lovely person. Harry would do anything for him.

 

He gently guided the smaller man into the bathroom stall, gently unbuttoning his jeans. He pushed them down Louis’ thick thighs along with his pants, noticing a sizeable damp patch on his undergarment. He stands there, waiting for Louis to finish up, helping his bandmate pull up his pants and jeans once he’s done.

 

He wasn’t sure what he expected of Louis after such an intimate moment, but it wasn’t for Louis to wrap his arms around him, nuzzling into his chest.

“So tired, warm,” he mumbled sleepily into Harry’s chest. Harry let out small noises and combed his fingers through the boy’s hair, letting Louis know he was listening.

 

“I know, it’s been a long night for you, huh?” Harry asked softly, holding up a majority of Louis’ weight as he moved to get him out of the stall. He opened the bathroom door wide enough to signal Alberto to come in. The burly guard walked in, looking down at Louis who was leaned against Harry, eyes closed.

 

“I think it’s time to get him home,” Harry said slowly.

 

Alberto nodded in affirmation, taking out his phone and dialing the driver that’d driven them to the club to tell him to meet them at the back entrance. The upside of places that catered to celebrities were back entrances, making it possible for them to slip out with anyone seeing them.

 

“Louis, you’ve got to open your eyes bud, we’re headed out to the car,” Alberto directed, Louis shaking his head, disoriented. He mumbled a few apologies, not moving from where he was pushed into Harry’s side.

 

The three men walked through the dark club to the back entrance, Harry and Alberto sighing in relief when they saw that the escalade was already waiting for them. Harry climbed in first, helping Alberto pull Louis into the car. Alberto climbed in behind Louis, wanting to be back there in case Louis needed anything.

 

Louis almost immediately laid his head in Harry’s lap, falling back asleep within seconds. Harry’s hand went to Louis’ hair like a magnet, gently scratching his scalp.

 

The ride back to the hotel was silent, Harry feeling better when he saw the back alley of the hotel where they’d get out. Almost there.

 

Once arriving on their floor, Alberto thanked Harry for his help, letting him know that he had it from there. The bodyguard was carrying a knocked out Louis at that point.

 

Harry cleared his throat awkwardly, not sure of how to tell Alberto what he felt he needed to.

 

“Louis, um. He needed help going to the bathroom. And when I was helping him I saw that he had a bit of an accident in his pants. I just… wanted you to know so you could get him into new clothes before putting him to bed.”

 

Alberto thanked him for telling him, and carried Louis to his room. He felt bad waking him up, but he knew that the boy needed to go to the bathroom before sleeping if he didn’t want to wake up wet. The guard was almost positive it would happen anyways with the amount that he drank, but they’d cross that bridge when they came to it.

With an inebriated Louis in bed and a trash bin by his side, Alberto headed to bed, bracing himself for a frantic Louis the next morning.

 

Harry headed back to his room, mind racing with the events of the night. He tried to piece what he had seen and heard from Louis together, but he couldn’t do it alone. It was close to 10:30 am in London, so Harry called Nick up, knowing that he was probably just arriving back to their house after work.

 

The phone rang twice before Nick picked up. “Hi, love! A bit late to be calling, hm?”

 

“I know, I just… it’s Louis.” Harry started, unable to get a complete thought out.

 

“Louis? Could you maybe elaborate so I know what you’re talking about?”

 

“Yeah, sorry, sorry. I’m just trying to understand it myself. Well, we took Louis out tonight. It was his first time ever drinking and he was plastered, as you can imagine. Alberto, you know, his bodyguard came up to me to ask me to watch out for him. It was the strangest thing, Nick.”

 

“Darling, I don’t think it’s that strange that his bodyguard would want you to watch out for him the first time he drank? I’m sure Dale would do the same for you if your roles were reversed.”

 

“I know, Nick,” Harry said, getting irritated, “that isn’t the weird part. Niall called me over, told me Louis needed help getting to the bathroom, that it seemed like something that was up my alley.”

 

Nick let out a small chuckle at that, waiting for Harry to go on. He knew that Harry would be more than happy to help anyone out with anything they needed. He was as much of a d-dom as could be, always rushing in to help others, especially those he loved.

 

“So I took him to the bathroom,” Harry continued, “and he told me he needed my help going. He could barely stand, Nick, it was awful. So I help him take his jeans down, and his pants are soaked already. And that’s not the strangest part, I told Alberto when we got back to the hotel so he would change Lou into clean pants and pajamas, and he wasn’t even surprised. No emotion, nothing.”

 

The older man had to take a second to think of the best way to answer his boyfriend without invalidating his feelings or making him feel as though Nick wasn’t hearing him out.

 

“Popstar, let me start by saying that you’re a good friend. When Louis wakes up tomorrow I think you know he’ll appreciate that you were there for them, when it seems like Niall, Zayn, and Liam fucked off the second you got to the club. And I think that Louis was experiencing a typical first drinking experience.”

“But Nick,” Harry butts in, “you didn’t see the way he hugged me, he seemed so young. He needed my help, he needed me.”

 

“He was drunk, Harry, that is all there is to it. Nothing more, nothing less. He’s a gad, we know that. We also know that he’s always been a bit different than the average gad, and that’s just how Louis is. I know what you’re insinuating, babe, but Louis is not a little. I wouldn’t be this harsh if I didn’t care. I love you and don’t want you to get your hopes up. We know his classification, and that’s that. We’ll find a perfect little soon, I just know it.”

 

Harry agreed with Nick, letting out a yawn and telling the elder man that he’d talk to him tomorrow. He hung up, and took a seat on the edge of his bed, mind still moving at a mile a minute.

 

Nick said everything that Harry needed to hear to upend the conclusions that he’d come to, but the conversation didn’t leave him satisfied. He drove himself crazy every time he allowed himself to head down this avenue of thought. They’d all known from the beginning that Louis wasn’t the average gad. He was smaller in stature, insecure, innocent. But that didn’t change what he was, as much as Harry wanted it to. He’d voiced this to Nick often, but Nick shot him down every time, promising Harry that they’d find their little soon.

 

Harry believed him, he believed with his whole heart that the perfect little for the couple was out there. But… he couldn’t help but picture Louis’ face when he thought about their perfect little family even though he knew that their classifications didn’t match up. But a man could dream, couldn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little over 3,000 words, but this is the way that I wanted the chapter to end :) I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> as usual, please let me know what you think/what you want to see!!
> 
> and a question: what do you want Louis to call Nick and Harry when we get to that point? (we're a fair bit away still, but I'm just thinking ahead and want your opinions!)
> 
> I'll most likely have another chapter up tomorrow night!
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ball is rolling.... :)  
> official twitter: @needaherofic

Louis wasn’t being dramatic when he said that his life couldn’t be worse than it was currently. He wasn't. He woke up soaking wet, having to drunkenly stumble into Alberto’s room and try to explain what happened while sobbing. He threw up everything in his body, including all of his vital organs... or at least that's what it felt like. He couldn’t help but feel like it was karma for making such stupid decisions last night.

 

As he lay in bed, unable to fall asleep again, he wished for time to pass quickly. In an hour they’d be leaving for the airport, and he’d be on his way home. An eleven and a half hour flight and he’d finally be alone, able to figure out what on earth he was going to do without embarrassing himself in front of anyone any further.

 

There was a quick knock on his door before it opened, Alberto letting himself in with a plastic shopping bag. He walked in with a strange look on his face, taking a seat beside Louis on the bed.

 

“How are you feeling, bud?”

 

“I don’t think I could feel any worse. I don’t even remember what happened, I think that’s the worst part.”

 

“On the up side, you didn’t do anything too embarrassing, so don’t worry about that. I know you don’t want to hear this from me, but trust that I’m just looking out for you. I always am. You had a bit of an accident while we were out, Harry told me about it when we got you to the car.”

 

Louis slapped his hands to his face, covering his eyes and letting out a groan. He couldn’t be more embarrassed if he tried, this was the worst possible thing that could happen. He felt a hand rubbing his shoulders soothingly, but he didn’t have the heart to look at Alberto.

 

Taking his silence as a cue to go on, Alberto continued, feeling a bit uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “We have a really long plane ride home, as we both know, and I don’t want you to be embarrassed any further. Harry and I are the only ones who know anything, I promise. And I wouldn’t worry too much about Harry, he probably just thinks it was a drunk loss of control. But I went to the store and bought you some protection, just in case. No one will know you’re wearing it, Lou. It’s just to save you the potential embarrassment if anything were to happen.”

 

Louis ripped his hands off his face, sputtering. “I-I’m not a baby! I don’t need protection. I’m a big boy, I can go to the bathroom all by myself.”

 

Alberto tried not to chuckle at the boy, the way he was throwing a toddler-esque tantrum while trying to persuade the guard that he wasn’t a baby.

 

“I know, Louis, I never said you were. Both you and I know that you’ve been having accidents, and you don’t want to have one on the plane. I assume that they’ve been happening more than the past few days, it’s okay. You’re under a lot of stress and I just want to be there to help you as best I can.”

 

Louis sat looking down at his knees, mulling over what he could do. Alberto was right. The accidents had been happening for weeks now, starting with a little leakage and now having full blown accidents, both asleep and awake. He would never live it down if one of his bandmates found out, let alone members of their crew.

 

“Fine.”

 

Alberto wordlessly handed over the bag, Louis grabbing it along with a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt before stalking into the bathroom. He opened the bag and stared at the purchase.

 

One could find adult sized diapers in every store on the planet along with collars, leashes, human sized dog bowls, everything one would need for their classification. There were classification-specific stores as well, making it easier for doms and subs to find what they were looking for. There was a p-dom/l-sub store near Louis’ home back in London, Baby Baby, but he’d never gone in. He could admit to going on there website once… maybe twice, but heading in there was too much for him.

 

Alberto had bought him a pack of what seemed to be pull-ups that were decorated with the characters from Inside Out. Louis let out a small laugh when he saw that, his bodyguard knowing how many times Louis had gone to the theatre to see it, ultimately begging his movie industry contacts to get him an early copy of the DVD.

 

He ripped open the plastic package, the noise sounding too loud in such a quiet room. He grabbed for one of the undergarments, feeling the plush thickness of it between his fingers. It was thin enough that it wouldn’t be noticed under his sweats, but thick enough to help him if he had an accident, God forbid. His entire body was burning with embarrassment, unable to understand how his life had gotten to this point, why he was handed the cards he was in life.

 

You can do this, no one’s going to know besides Alberto, Louis thought to himself. He grabbed his pajama bottoms and pants and slid them down his body slowly, wanting to draw this out as long as possible. He looked at the pull-ups, seeing the face of Fear from the movie all over the front panel of them. It was irony at its best, because Louis couldn’t differentiate himself much from the anxiety-ridden character of the movie. He stepped into them, pulling them up his waist quickly. He wasn’t sure how he expected to feel, but he was sure he didn’t think he’d feel the sense of relief that he got. He felt comfortable in the snug fitting diaper, more-so than he’d ever admit to anyone.

 

He pulled on his pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt, looking at himself from every angle to make sure that it wasn’t obvious what he was wearing. And it wasn’t, there was no way to tell. Based on what the packaging said, these were made for littles in the workforce, people who didn’t want their incontinence to be noticed by their colleagues. And they worked, there was no way that anyone could tell what Louis was wearing.

 

He grabbed the almost full package of pull-ups and his dirty clothes before heading out, blushing when he saw Alberto was still sitting there. Louis shoved the package off to him, busying himself by zipping up his suitcase and standing it up.

 

“We don’t have to talk about this any more, promise. But I’ll put some in my carry on in case you need a change. We’re leaving in five, so let’s head downstairs.” Alberto said, standing up and giving Louis’ forearm a squeeze.

 

His bandmates were already waiting in an escalade downstairs, Louis hopping in when the driver took his suitcase. The four of them looked at him, Harry with worry in his eyes, the others with guilt.

 

“Lou, we’re sorry for leaving you last night. We just got caught up in the night and that was that. I figured, a gad doesn’t need our smothering, though, does he?” Niall said, reaching over Harry to punch his eldest bandmate in the arm. Harry let out a cough at the end of Niall’s apology, and Louis smiled as best he could, waving his bandmates’ apologies off.

 

Of all people in their entourage, he ended up sitting next to Harry on the plane. Even though it was a private plane, they had to rent out a commercial sized jet to fit everyone in their crew on it. The boys and their security were where first class normally was seated, and the rest of the crew was at the back of the plane. He refused to look at Harry, feeling shy around him in a way that he hadn’t since they were first put together in the band.

 

“Lou?” Harry says, wanting to get the smaller man’s attention. Even after his conversation with Nick, he was still worried about his bandmate. He wanted to make sure he was okay after last night. It was in his nature, always needing to make sure that everyone was okay, but he cared about Louis on a level deeper than that. He didn’t allow himself to think about how much he cared for the boy often, knowing that it would just make him terribly sad thinking of what could never be.

 

“Yeah?” Louis said in a small voice, still looking down at his twisting fingers.

 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay after last night, I was worried about you,” Harry said honestly.

 

Louis nods, “yeah, I’m good, H. ‘M not really sure what happened, but Albs told me you helped me. So thank you.”

“I’ll always help you, Lou. Anything you need, any time you need it.” Harry couldn't even let himself worry that he'd let on that he knew about Louis' situation, he truly just wanted the man to know that he had his back. Louis gave him a small smile before closing his eyes. Planes scared him a great deal, and he always tried to sleep through as much of their plane rides as he could. He fell asleep almost instantly, overtired from staying out so late the night before.

 

Harry sat there thinking about the previous night, unable to get it out of his mind when Louis was sitting so closely to him. The pilot came over the loudspeaker, asking everyone to make sure they were buckled in. Before Harry buckled himself, he looked to make sure Louis had done up his seatbelt. He saw it twisted up under Louis’ leg, and reached to grab it without waking him. Harry grabbed it as gently as possible, hands stilling when he heard a minute crinkling noise from where his fingers were grabbing near Louis’ bum. He looked to make sure Louis hadn’t woken up before lightly touching again, his suspicions confirmed. He sucked in a sharp breath as he realized that Louis was wearing a diaper, selfishly thinking that his suspicions were right. He made sure to buckle the boy and himself in before returning to his thoughts as he heard the rumble of the engine begin.

 

As he gave himself a second to collect his thoughts, he realized that he was jumping to conclusions far too quickly, something that was very unlike him. He prided himself on his rational thought, so he needed to think rationally. It could have been his sweatpants; there was no way of knowing what was truly hidden under Louis’ sweats unless Louis wanted him to know. He needed to talk to Nick, but he would have to wait until he was home for that. He knew that he could text him on the in flight wifi, but this was a conversation better had in person.

 

He allowed himself to think about Nick, smiling at the thought of his boyfriend. He remembered when he first met him at age 15, just starting out on the Xfactor. Nick started out the band’s interview by teasing him for being so young in his usual sarcastic fashion, but was seemingly shut up by Harry’s maturity. Harry had always been wise beyond his years; it was a part of being a d-dom, his mum told him. He and Nick started dating when he was 16, and four years later they were still together. Nick was the stability to Harry’s impulsivity, the calm to Harry’s excitement. They fit together perfectly.

 

Harry couldn’t wait to be back home with him, to finally have some time to themselves. They only had a week off until tour rehearsals began, but at least he’d be home for that. He grabbed his book out of his carry on and allowed himself to read for a few hours. Maybe it was the dad in him, but he could read without stopping for an eternity without getting bored. He got a good seven hours of reading his ridiculously long book in beforee was knocked out of his concentration when he heard a gasp beside him, Louis now awake and ghostly pale. Harry pretended that nothing was out of the ordinary, continuing to read. If he was on the right track, then he didn’t want to alert Louis to his knowing. The last thing that he wanted to do was embarrass Louis, there had to be a reason that he was keeping his maybe classification a secret.

 

Louis unbuckled his seatbelt, getting up from his seat slowly before moving to the back of the section of the plane. Harry watched as inconspicuously as possible, but no one seemed to notice as his gaze followed Louis, caught up in whatever they were doing. He walked up to Alberto, whispering in his ear as the man nodded. The bodyguard stood up with his backpack, and lead the way to the bathroom.

 

Louis was mortified to realize that he’d gone to the bathroom in his sleep, not being quite able to feel relief at having gone in a pull-up instead of all over the seat. He would have rather not gone at all, because now he had to get up and tell Alberto that he needed to change.

 

He walked back to where the man was sitting before bending over and whispering in his ear that he needed a new pair of underwear, not being able to bring himself to say the word pull-up out loud. Alberto got up, and Louis followed him to the spacious bathroom in their section of the plane. They entered together, Alberto unzipping his bag and taking out a pull-up and pack of wipes wordlessly. He hands it to Louis before exiting the room. Louis locked the door, and keeps checking to make sure that it’s locked before pulling down his sweatpants. He let out a whimper when he saw the way that the pull-up looked, the purple color of Fear had gone away, a juvenile indicator to let d-doms know when their charge was wet.

 

He couldn’t help the tears that streamed down his face, trying to keep his whimpers at bay while he ripped the sides of the undergarment open. He gathered up bunches of paper towel to put on top of the pull-up inside of the trash can, just in case anyone were to look in the trash can. He opened the travelling pack of baby wipes that Alberto gave him, wiping himself off. In all of his misery he couldn’t help but wish that someone else was cleaning him off, letting him know that everything was okay, giving him a small kiss on the forehead. He pulled on a new pull-up, quickly pulling his sweatpants back on after.

 

He looked at himself in the mirror, scrubbing away the tears as best as he possibly could before heading back out to his seat.

 

Harry had returned to a new book, having finished the first. He couldn’t help but look when he saw that Louis had returned, gasping slightly at the smaller man’s red-rimmed eyes.

 

“Lou… are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine, Harry,” Louis replied, not able to help the sob that came out with his words. Harry reached and lifted up the armrest in between their seats so he could wrap an arm around Louis before pulling him into his side. That broke Louis’ dam of tears, allowing himself to cry softly into Harry’s side. If any of the boys or security had any indication of what was going on in their row, they did a damn good job of pretending they didn’t, allowing the two their privacy. Harry and Louis had always been especially close in a way that the others weren’t.

 

Louis stiffened when he realized what he was doing and how Harry’s hand was rubbing up and down his back, getting dangerously close to the top of his pull-up.

 

“You don’t need to baby me, H, I’m just tired and ready to go home. I’ll be good as new after the break. I don't know why this trip has been so hard on me. I'm fine, though, like I said, just tired.”

 

Harry didn’t let himself get hurt by Louis’ words; he knew that he was trying to push him away on purpose. “’M not babying you, Lou, I’m just making sure you’re okay. Same as I’d do for any of the other guys.”

 

“I know, I know. I appreciate it. I’m just so bloody tired, I’m out of my head.”

 

“If you need to talk, I’m here, remember that. How are you spending the next week? Going home to see your mom?”

 

Louis answered all queries about his mom with vague answers, not wanting to alert those around him to their true relationship. The fans thought that his family was just intensely private, his mom never coming to shows nor having a twitter account. The boys just thought she was busy with her babies. That was fine with Louis, it made it easier for him to not have to explain away what she truly thought about him. It was shameful, having a mom who wanted nothing to do with you regardless of how hard you worked, how much you had done to get yourself to where you were in life.

 

“Nope, she’s busy with the girls being in school. I’ll just be home in London relaxing, it’ll be good, just my bed, takeaway, and footie.”

 

“Not too much takeaway, I hope, you know how bad that stuff is for you,” Harry joked, always giving Louis a hard time about his bad eating habits, “you’ll have to come over one night for dinner with Nick and I. We’d like that.”

 

Louis nodded noncommittally, knowing he likely wouldn’t get out of his bed until Alberto was banging at his door on the first day of rehearsals.

 

When they finally landed back in London, Louis couldn’t have been more relieved. He hugged the boys goodbye, always feeling oddly choked up when he would be spending time without them. They’d spent the past five years living out of one another’s pocket, making any time spent apart feel like he was missing a part of himself. Liam and Niall were feeling up for stopping for fans, so they hopped in a car together, ready to stop on the road outside of Heathrow.

 

Louis hopped into a car with Alberto, ready to head back to his house. Once arriving, Alberto performed his usual routine of looking through Louis’ house and making sure everything was as he left it. It was a bit dramatic, in Louis’ mind, but if it made the guard feel better leaving his charge alone, then so be it. Once he deemed the house clear, he hugged Louis tightly, telling the boy to call him if he needed anything at all, any time of the day. It was the same speech that he always gave him, but there was a bit more emotion behind it after the events of the past week. Louis promised he would call Alberto if he needed anything, and the man handed Louis the pack of pull-ups and wipes from his backpack before leaving. Louis threw them on the counter like it burned him to touch them, letting out a breath when he was finally alone. Finally. Alone. He headed up to his room, forcing himself to go to the bathroom before settling in for a long hibernation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!! as usual, please comment your thoughts/ what you want to see/what you think is going to happen. your comments keep me going!
> 
> next chapter is where things will start to get fun :) 
> 
> as I'm an American, I am not sure I'll be able to update tomorrow, I'll most likely have another chapter up Friday afternoon if not tomorrow night! football, food, and black friday are at the forefront of my mind right now, I hope you don't blame me for that ;)
> 
> to everyone everywhere, I hope you have a marvelous day!
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are at over 7000 words. I hope you enjoy!  
> official twitter: @needaherofic

18 hours of uninterrupted sleep was better than any medicine that Louis could get his hands on. He woke up feeling completely rejuvenated, not even a leaking pull-up could bring him down. The prospect of 7 days with nothing planned was absolutely beautiful, he truly couldn’t think of anything he needed more at this time. The boys would start rehearsing for their next tour for about a month before setting out on their second world tour. It was a bit difficult to wrap his head around, the fact that they’d accomplished so much in such a short time. He’d felt unbearably guilty over the past few weeks as he’d wished to have a different career, thinking it’d make life easier. The intense scrutiny and constant attention were a bit too much for each member of the band at some point, and he was glad he would have a month or so to cool down. He’d come back ready to go, he knew it.

 

Finally having time to do whatever he wanted was a bit odd. He was used to being herded around, being told what to do by the various members of their management. There was the proper way for him to sit, talk, and answer questions. Everything was laid out for him in the public eye; but now he was in private, having a week off for the first time in almost a year. What he really wanted to do was lay on his couch and watch football for the next seven days, just like he told Harry he was going to do. But what he needed to do was dig deep into the internet to find out what he could do about his current situation.

 

Sure, he’d glanced at web pages about rejecting your classification before, and all the answers had been the same, especially surrounding his classification. There was no way to deny your biology, it was just like trying to grow five inches, you couldn’t unless you were supposed to. He typed ‘how to put off little submissive tendencies’ into the Google search bar. If there was no way for him to get rid of his classification and become that gad that everyone knew him as, then he would look for ways to postpone his classification from taking over every fiber of his being. He hit search, and perused the website titles that popped up. Most of them were unhelpful, articles sharing horror stories of people who’d attempted to reject their classifications or reasons why classifications, going into deep detail that Louis didn’t care about and he didn’t think a majority of the world did either. He skipped to the next page, annoyed at the lack of help that there seemed to be for his problem. He couldn’t possibly believe it for a second that people all found happiness with their classifications; that couldn’t be true, even though it seemed like it was.

 

His eyes stopped at a result on the top of the next page that read ‘How to Hide Your Classification’. He was sure it wasn’t a legitimate source, but he opened it up anyways. The post was from 4 years ago, a blog that existed only to house the single article. Louis read it, hoping that he would find the answers he was looking for:

 

**If you’re reading this, I want to start this post by saying you’re not alone. The way that this world works, the way that our minds and bodies work… it’s hard to understand, especially when you are raised to believe you’re something different than what you are. Let me tell you my story, and hopefully it will help you. My name is Kailey; I’m 20 years old. I come from a long familial line of gads, and we all know that your lineage has no way of guaranteeing your classification, but it was pretty safe to say that I’d be classified as a general. Come my 18 th birthday, to my whole family’s horror, I was classified as a pet. Thinking back on it, years later, I shouldn’t be surprised. I had always been obedient, listening to whoever was in a dominant position over me, be it my parents, coaches, or teachers. That’s besides the point, though; the problem was that I was raised to think that I was going to be a gad, that my life would depend on me being one. I was ridiculed by my family, made to think that my life would amount to nothing now that I was no longer on the path to a homey life as a gad. It was terrible. Thankfully, I moved away to university soon after I was classified, allowing me to get away from the constant torment I felt being surrounded by my family.**

**My first piece of advice that I want to give is that you should get away from your family. Classification shaming you will do nothing but make you feel terrible. Know that there is nothing you can do to change what you are. Science is concrete in this sense, it is woven within the strands of your DNA, and your fate was sealed before you were out of your mother’s womb. Getting away from my family gave me the chance to think for myself, to discover who I truly was. Of course, I hid it at first. I did everything I could to prevent pet traits from manifesting. I was like you, looking up websites that would give me ideas on how to get rid of my classification, or at least hide it as best as I could for as long as I could.**

**My second, and most important, piece of advice for you; you can’t change who you are, so stop fighting it. I apologize for leading you on this far, for making you think that I had solutions as for how to hide your classification. I wanted you to read and see that I was like you. I didn’t want to be me. I tried not to be me. But you have to embrace yourself, because the longer you push away your true self, the worse it will be when it comes out. And it will, inevitably. I won’t go into gruesome detail, but for your benefit I want you to know that my “coming out” so to speak was public and embarrassing.**

**All right! Enough with the negativity. There are things you can do to make this easier. I’m sure you’ve seen certain traits of whatever your classification it is coming out when you’re placed into certain situations. No one expects you to jump right into this. That’s what the Quench is for, believe it or not. I can imagine the looks that you all are giving the computer screen after reading that, wondering why on earth you would trust a random person with your deepest, darkest secret? Because they can help you. Think about it. You’re past the age of 18, you aren’t sure of what you’re doing. I’ve been there; I understand more than most anyone would. I’m not saying that you won’t be anxious, I’m not saying that it won’t be terrifying or awkward. But someone is there for you, on the other side of the computer, on the opposite end of your classification waiting for you. They are waiting to guide you, waiting to be guided, whatever you are, dominant or submissive. Trust the system. You have been raised to distrust it, to oppose everything that it tells you is true. The system is in place for a reason, and one day when you’re finally free and living your life to the fullest, you’ll think back to this. You’ll think back to this and smile, happy that you trusted the system.**

 

**I hope I helped you with this, at least a little. It’s scary, I know. It’s embarrassing, I know. It’ll get better. Just breathe and trust that you are you for a reason. Whatever your brain is telling you, whatever reason you’re doubting your classification, you’ll figure it out. I promise. Sending you all of my love, whoever you are, wherever you are.**

 

Louis wasn’t aware of how heavily he was breathing until he finished the article and snapped out of a trance like state. He couldn’t help but believe the article was fate after all that he’d been going through. There was no reason for the entire world to know, there wasn’t even reason for his bandmates to know. He posted on the Quench, found a pseudo-daddy, and he got his fix. If he went a week or two and felt like he needed to go on the website again and find someone else, he would. That was that. He shut his computer resolutely, determined to spend at least the rest of the day without thinking about this. All he needed now was apple juice, takeaway, and his TV.

 

\------------

The thing was, Harry and Nick wanted to find a little, they really did, but they were so ridiculously picky. They felt horrible each time their friends would come to them, telling them that they knew a little that would be the perfect addition to their little family. After asking a few questions, they would inevitably realize that the little would definitely not be perfect for them. It was a delicate situation, finding a little that would work for two daddies. One has to remember that, yes, they are daddies, but they are dominants as well. They had an inherent desire to control, an intense need to have situations go the way that they wanted them to, all of the time. Balancing the needs, tastes, and personalities of two dominants was difficult, but p-dom couples had a way of making it work a majority of the time. Nick and Harry often babysat for their friends' true children, and would happily babysit the few littles that they knew when their p-doms asked. They had never turned to the Quench, feeling as if they weren’t that desperate for a little. Yet.

 

Nick prided himself on being the levelheaded one in their relationship; he knew that Harry was a bit more excitable than him, always susceptible to getting his hopes up. And that’s exactly what Nick was trying to stop. Sure, Nick had his suspicions about Louis being a little, but he’d never let Harry know. He would be a good boyfriend and let Harry explain what he saw and what he made of his recent experiences with his bandmate, but he’d end the conversation by letting him down gently. It didn’t matter if Louis was a little or not, until he came to Harry himself to tell him, then it wasn't a concern of Harry's or his.

 

It wasn’t often, but there were people who fit into the category of multiple classifications, but in the end the government labeled them with one. And that’s the only one that mattered. There was no going in between them; one was given to them, and one would stick with them for the rest of their lives. Maybe Louis could have been a little, but he was ultimately classified as a gad. Then he wasn’t a little. Nick was almost 30 years old; he had friends of all classifications from all walks of life. Harry grew up in a small town, and was thrust into fame, never having the university experience to grow into who he was slowly, learning the intimacies of the classification system through the experiences of his schoolmates. It made it difficult for Harry to understand the seriousness of classifications, the way that no one could outrun or change what they truly were.

 

Would Nick be happy to have Louis as his little? Absolutely. Every time he saw the boy he had to restrain himself from cuddling him up in his arms, his shy nature practically begging for Nick to hide the boy away from the world. But as far as he knew, Louis wasn’t a little. It was fine to have those thoughts in private, but only for so long. He’d been with Harry for four years now, and it was time for them to have a serious conversation about their life. He wasn’t sure how Harry would react, but it was needed.

 

Harry was elated, finally having the chance to cook in a kitchen after having to eat out every night while on tour and doing promo. He couldn’t be happier to be sitting across from Nick at their own table, in their own house. Alone. Just the two of them. It was one thing to hear Nick’s voice over the phone and see his face on FaceTime, but it was another to be able to see his smile in person, to be able to hold his hand from across the table. Yes; the truth was out. Harry Styles was a complete and utter sap.

 

“So, Harry Styles, three days into your seven day break, how are you feeling? Ready to go back? Missing the high life?” Nick asked, joking around as if he was a journalist. He knew how much Harry hated the ridiculously cliché questions that interviewers asked.

 

“Not ready to leave you; never want to leave you,” Harry said, looking up at his boyfriend from under his lashes.

 

“I know, love. At least we’ve got a month of tour rehearsals before you’ve to go. We always make it work though, don’t we?”

 

Harry nodded, taking another bite of his salmon.

 

“I have something that I want to say; I’ve wanted to say it for a while, actually.” Nick said, nervous to breach such a sensitive topic.

 

Harry reached across the table, grabbing Nick’s hand and rubbing his thumb across the older man’s knuckles, waiting for him to speak.

 

“I’m getting older, yes, I know that my looks don’t place me a day over 18, but it’s the unfortunate truth. And I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you; you know that. I just… I know that something is missing. I know you feel the same way; it’s just the way that we’re programmed. And that’s why we need to figure this out.  There is a little out there for us somewhere, even if we haven’t found them yet. But I think you and I can both admit that we haven’t been looking very hard in between the busyness of both of our jobs. But I think it’s time that we do so. I-I can’t tell if you’re angry or concentrating, love. Care to share what you’re thinking?” Nick asked, unsure of what Harry’s furrowed brow meant in this exact situation.

 

Harry took a moment before speaking, but that was something Nick was used to. He liked to have his thoughts completely figured out before speaking, Nick thought it was a product of his media training, but found it to be one of Harry’s many endearing traits.

 

“I agree, of course. I think that… I think I just have been waiting for something impossible to happen for the past few months. I’m sorry. I really am sorry for being so selfish. You don’t deserve that. I’ve been a shit boyfriend, not what you deserve.”

 

“That’s not what I was getting at, silly. Enough with the self-deprecating monologue. I just wanted to let you know where I stand and put it into words. It’s my fault too, you know. I’ve been having these thoughts, but haven’t put them into words. I just keep having visions of a little one running around our house; you know, we moved here with them in mind.”

 

“I know,” Harry said, a smile on his face, “I pass the play room and their bedroom and think about how we’re going to decorate them, the toys that are going to be in there. This little one is going to be the most spoiled little boy of all time.” They’d decided in the first year of their relationship that they both wanted a little boy, each of them relieved to hear that the other was on the same page as them. They weren’t sure what it was, but the idea of having a little boy to look up to them was all they’d ever dreamed of.

 

Nick let out a chuckle at that, standing up and pulling Harry up with him, melting into a kiss. “We can get married and have a little ring bearer of our own. It’ll be perfect.”

 

Harry grabbed Nick’s hand, leading him out of the dining room and up the stairs. All of the talk about a kid, their kid, turning him on more than he could ever explain. But he was lucky, because Nick understood and was undressing himself just as quickly as Harry was.

 

Later that night, after both men were sated, they began to discuss what they were looking for in a little. They agreed that the Quench was their last resort, but if they hadn’t found a little within six months, they’d resort to the website.

 

Harry started, “well… I guess there are a few big things for me. Age is definitely one of them. I want a little boy, one that still needs us to help him in all aspects of his life. Maybe two years old? Yeah. Two. And sweet as sugar, of course. I know that most parents want a firecracker of a little, and that’s okay, of course, but not me. Not us. I want an innocent little guy. Guess it makes me feel good to protect someone, you know?”

 

It always amazed Harry how open he felt he could be with Nick since the start of their relationship. He never felt embarrassed at voicing his feelings; he knew that Nick would listen and understand, and even if he didn’t agree, he would respect Harry’s feelings.

 

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it? A little guy whose diapers we could change, we can give him bubble baths… the way we could give him a bottle while sitting on a rocking chair. Sounds like something out of my wildest dreams. I hope we find him soon," Nick finished with a sigh.

 

Harry looked up at Nick from where he was leaned against his chest, letting out a small yawn. He bid his love goodnight before drifting off to sleep. He woke up what seemed like seconds later to Nick shaking him.

 

“What is it?” Harry asked, letting out a yawn.

 

“Your phone has rung twice in the past 30 seconds, it’s Alberto, figured it’s important.”

 

Just like clockwork, his phone started ringing again, Harry picked up before the first ring could even finish.

 

“Hello?” he asked, suddenly completely alert.

 

“Harry?” Alberto asked, voice frantic.

 

“What’s up? Is everything okay?”

 

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m calling. I texted Louis two days ago that I had to head back to the states for a family emergency, and he never replied. He just called me bawling, I couldn’t even understand what he was saying except for that ‘he needed me’ and ‘blood’. I wouldn’t call if I wasn’t worried.”

 

Harry sat up immediately, rushing to put clothes on while answering the guard, “Of course, Nick and I will be there within five minutes. I’ll bring the first aid kit we keep here just in case, I would bet good money Lou doesn’t have one.” All of Harry’s friends and family ridiculed him for talking slow and moving slow, constantly comparing him to a sloth. He sort of wished they could see him now, moving at the speed of light, grabbing his wallet and his keys before heading downstairs. All he needed to hear were the words Louis and blood. He remembered back at the bungalow during Xfactor when the boys went around and shared their biggest fears. Louis let out that his was blood, only to cut his chin shaving the hair that he didn't even have the next night. Niall had heard a thump in the bathroom, running in to see a passed out Louis, razor in his hand and blood running down his chin. Since then they did their best to keep Louis away from blood, knowing how deep his fear ran. Harry couldn’t even imagine how scared Louis was at the moment.

 

Nick was getting dressed after hearing Harry say that they were leaving, not questioning his boyfriend’s words.

 

“Thanks Harry, thank you. Please let me know if you need anything, I can get Paddy or Dale out there if need be.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, you know it's no problem.” After saying thank you once again, Alberto hung up.

 

Nick was out of the room already, running downstairs to grab the aforementioned first aid kit. Harry shouted that he was starting the car and to meet him there. He couldn’t speak, could barely breathe, thinking about what could’ve happened to Louis. He gripped Nick’s hand tightly as the older man drove him over, only speaking when instructing him as to the passcode on Louis’ house’s gate. He wasn’t sure what had happened to Louis, but he knew he’d find out soon.

 

\----------

 

It was close to 3 am, but there was a Man U game going on in the states some eight hours behind them, so of course he’d stay up to watch it. He lit up when he remembered that Alberto had a service come and stock up his fridge, something he always did after hearing Louis complain about never having food when coming home. Dressed in only a t-shirt and pull-up, he walked into his kitchen ready to make a sandwich. He felt more relaxed than he had in weeks, three days into his break. His phone was thrown into a corner of his room, he had had Chinese for the past four meals, and no one was there to bother him. Life was picture perfect… maybe that was an overstatement. Life was as good as it could be while he was hiding his classification and ignoring everyone in his life who was trying to see him during his seven days of freedom.

 

He hummed happily as he peered into his fridge, taking out the items he wanted to put on his sandwich. He had to think about where the bread would be, delighted when he found a long loaf of his favorite crusty Italian bread. He grabbed the serrated bread knife from his drawer, set to cut the huge chunk of bread into a few pieces. As he was cutting the first piece of bread his hand started shaking and he sliced into his left palm that was holding the bread in place. He dropped the knife at the pain, letting out a loud “fuck”. He felt the blood before he saw it, feeling lightheaded at even the prospect of slightly bleeding. He looked at it long enough to see the blood gushing out of the wound. He screamed, bladder releasing enough to saturate his already wet pull-up and stream down his leg. He had officially gone through the pack that Alberto had given him with the use of the one he was wearing, and was currently waiting for his pants to finish drying in his laundry machine.

 

For any normal person the amount of blood that was coming out of his hand would have been seen as manageable, but Louis couldn’t stand it. He was sobbing frantically, cursing himself for throwing his cellphone in the midst of the mess that was his room upstairs. He spied the house phone that Alberto told him he installed “in case of emergencies” sitting in the corner of his kitchen counter. It took him three tries to dial Alberto, his good hand shaking so much at this point that it felt like it was going to fall off. When the guard picked up, he couldn’t get a coherent sentence out, only being able to cry and get random words out here and there.

 

The line went dead, Louis realizing Alberto hung up. He honestly hadn’t heard a word that the guard said to know whether or not he was coming. He hoped that meant that the man was on his way, and somewhere deep in the back of his mind he knew that Alberto wouldn’t leave him hanging. He dropped the phone before sliding to the floor, curling into a ball while leaving his left arm extended straight out, not wanting the smell of blood anywhere near him.

 

The longer it took, the harsher his cries got, his mind getting fuzzy. He couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t think at all. The only thing that crossed his mind was the thought of someone helping him, someone making sure that he was okay. He was sopping wet, bleeding, and exhausted at this point. So caught up in his own head, he didn’t hear his front door open, Harry knowing where he kept his key. He always reprimanded him for leaving it in such an obvious place, telling him that if someone got through his gate the first place they’d check would be under his doormat. Louis laughed it off, saying no one would get that far anyways.

 

Harry ran ahead of Nick, leaving the front door wide open so that his boyfriend could follow him in with the medical kit. His heart dropped when he heard gasping sobs that could only mean that Louis had been crying for a while. He moved quickly to the kitchen, freezing at the sight before him. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that he would see Louis on the ground, curled tightly around himself. The boy had his bleeding hand held out over the tile, it was shaking violently, spattering the small bit of blood that was coming out of it onto the tile.

 

“Lou,” Harry breathed, moving quickly over to his eldest bandmate, kneeling beside him. It was a testament to how upset Louis was that he didn’t even flinch when he heard a voice that wasn’t Alberto’s, leaning into the embrace that he was being pulled into.

 

Louis looked up with wild eyes, looking younger and more lost than Harry had ever seen. When he got home from LA, he went online to search suppressed classifications, wanting to see if there was any indication as to whether or not that was what Louis was hiding from him. He read that in some cases of littles who were hiding who they were away, extremely emotional or high stress situations could lead them into their headspace for the first time; Harry quickly figured out that was what Louis was going through. Even if he was completely off target, if Louis was a gad, he still went into daddy mode, Louis needed his help, and he was going to do everything he could for him.

 

“Bleeding, ‘m bleeding,” Louis choked out, burrowing his head into Harry’s side. Harry was concerned at Louis’ lack of reaction to him, unsure of whether or not the boy even realized who he was.

 

He let out a coo, piecing together a game plan in his head. “Babe, I’m going to pick you up and move you over to the couch, okay? I’ll watch out for your hand, but I want to get you off of the cold tile.”

 

Harry got onto his knees, bracing to pick his smaller bandmate up for this first time since they found out they were being put into a band together. At the same moment he felt something wet on his fingers as he was wrapping his hands under Louis’ knees, he saw that Louis wasn't wearing his usual jeans or sweats, but a soaked and leaking pull-up. He took it in stride, picking up the boy and focusing on cleaning his wound so that Louis would stop hyperventilating.

 

He heard footsteps behind him, looking behind him to see Nick carrying in the med kit. Harry was scared for how Louis would react when he saw his boyfriend, unsure of what his reaction would be. But that could be worried over later; he needed to get Louis to the couch and get him cleaned up.

 

Nick moved ahead of Harry, having the foresight to lay a folded blanket down so that Louis didn’t soak the couch. He gently sat Louis down, having to gently pry the Doncaster lad’s good hand off from where it was gripped tightly around his shoulders.

 

“Hey love, we need you to sit up straight, can you do that?” Nick asked, speaking for the first time. He was a bit anxious, not quite sure how Louis would react to him, or anyone, being there and seeing him in such a vulnerable state.

 

Louis’ mind was all over the place, he’d never felt so panicked and out of himself before. It was like… he wanted to do something, wanted to help himself, but he couldn’t. More than he ever had before, which was essentially every moment of the past two years, he longed for someone to take care of him. That’s why his cries were beginning to slow as he felt a warm body beside him, a soothing voice talking to him. He knew that he was sobbing, wet, and bleeding, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about it. Like he was a baby; the very infantile state that he was trying to outrun was taking control of him.

 

He became more coherent when he felt a stinging on his hurt hand, eyes that were previously squeezed shut widening quickly. His eyes landed below him on a kneeling Nick Grimshaw. Gad Louis, the character he’d been playing for the past three years of his life, would’ve laughed off his tears and told Nick to go home. But little Louis, the boy who was sitting on a couch crying over a small cut on his hand, took comfort in the help he was receiving.

 

“It’s okay, just a little sting to clean your boo boo, can’t have anything yucky getting in there, can we?” Nick said, speaking to Louis in the same soft voice he always reserved for him. Harry smiled from where he was sitting next to Louis, running his hands up and down the boy’s back.

 

Harry was so relieved that Alberto had called him instead of one of the other boys, or even one of the other guards. He obviously wasn’t sure what they would have made of the popstar's crying and soiled pull-up, but he also feared that they would have been angry over getting up in the middle of the night for such a miniscule wound. Being a d-dom, he guessed that he just had patience that extended far greater than that of most others. He truly couldn’t imagine ever invalidating Louis’ pain or reaction to his wound. And that’s why he loved Nick as much as he did, because he was treating Louis exactly the way he would if he was the one tending to his wound.

 

Louis let out a cry as Nick used antiseptic on his wound, “it h-hurts.”

 

Harry had absolutely no self-control, leaning in to kiss Louis’ clammy forehead. “I know Loulou, I know. It’ll be good as new in just a minute, okay?”

 

Louis let out a small noise, leaning himself closer to Harry in place of a verbal reply. Nick finished cleaning up the small amount of blood that was dried onto his palm before putting on a Band-Aid. He had always poked fun at Harry for insisting that they keep a medical kit in their house, as he was never sure when they’d need it. He was grateful for it, knowing that there was absolutely no chance that Louis had anything even remotely capable of cleaning and covering his wound anywhere in his house.

 

“Almost done!” Nick exclaimed, “You know what the last step in healing a boo boo is?”

 

Louis shook his head, looking down at Nick with wide, innocent eyes.

 

Nick’s stomach fluttered at the way that Louis was looking at him; it was all he had ever wanted in life, for a little to look to him for answers, for someone to need his help. He allowed himself to bask in the idea of Louis being little just for the night; he and Harry deserved that much, didn’t they?

 

He spared a look at Harry, both of them thinking the same exact thing. Simultaneously, Harry started kissing all over Louis’ right arm, while Nick pressed kisses on Louis’ injured palm, conscious of the injury. Louis let out a loud giggle at the men’s actions, not expecting the secret to healing to be kisses.

 

Louis felt immeasurably better after the kisses, shocked that the man was right about kisses helping him heal. He felt weird. He consciously knew that he was giving into his nature, that he was revealing his most private secret to Nick and Harry, but he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Their gentle tones and soft touches were comforting; he couldn’t get enough of the way they were treating him.

 

Louis shifted, trying to get comfortable in his cold and wet pull-up. Harry and Nick both noticed this, Nick standing up and heading upstairs to find another one to change Louis into. He checked the bathroom connected to Louis’ bedroom, figuring that would be the most likely place for them to be. What he found was an empty package of pull-ups sitting on his counter next to a pack of baby wipes. Nick sighed; it could never be easy, could it?

 

He headed back downstairs, unable to help the grin on his face when he saw Louis smiling softly at whatever Harry was whispering in his ear, the two of them sat closely together. He seemed to be more with it now, a soft blush covering his face, but still reacting positively to Harry’s actions. Nick cleared his throat, causing the two on the couch to look over at him. The smile on Louis’ face immediately went away, his face going pale. He all but jumped onto Harry’s lap, burrowing himself into his shirt. Nick guessed it was a good sign that he stayed on the couch instead of running upstairs away from him, but it still stung nonetheless. He knew that Louis wasn’t comfortable with him; he didn’t know Nick well enough to be. It was understandable.

 

Nick pretended that nothing had happened, continuing on with what he was going to ask, “Louis? Do you have any more pull-ups or nappies anywhere, love?”

 

Louis shook his head into Harry’s chest, face burning with mortification. His head was still fuzzy, feeling emotions more than coherent, adult thought.

 

Harry pulled himself away from Louis, tipping the boy’s chin up so that he would have to look in his eyes. “Can you give us an answer, please?” Harry wanted Louis out of the wet material as soon as possible, worried the boy would get a rash.

 

“No,” Louis whispered, “they’re all gone. I kinda, um, keep having accidents and the pull-ups are drippy.” Louis surprised himself with how honest he was; but he trusted Harry. He always showed Louis how much he cared for him, and Louis couldn’t forget it. He didn’t want Nick to see him like this, though. His mind raced with all of the mean things that he’d heard Nick say about people before, even if it was just a joke. This wasn’t a joke to him; this was something he had tried to keep hidden, he didn’t want people to know about it in the first place, let alone ridicule him for it.

 

“That’s okay love, thank you for telling me. You’re being a very brave boy, Louis.” Louis blushed at the praise, pushing his face back into Harry’s chest.

 

“I’m going to go to the store, I’ll be right back, okay?” Harry nodded, waving Nick off.

 

Nick hurried out to his car, wanting to get back as quickly as possible to be with the boys. He drove to the 24 hour Tesco nearest Louis' house, knowing that it would be the only place open that had a decent aisle for each classification. Thankfully it was quite empty, no one around to drag him into conversation about this new album or that segment from last week’s show. It was the weekend, his only time off, and he liked to keep it that way. He headed back to the l-sub aisle, not allowing himself to gawk over the pacifiers, bottles, and toys that he dreamed of Louis playing with. There was a time and place, he reminded himself. He analyzed the rows of diapers and pull-ups, wondering what would be best to get Louis. He ended up grabbing a pack of diapers with Marvel characters on them, knowing that Louis would undoubtedly be grumpy and embarrassed over him buying diapers, but at least like the design Nick picked out. Nick knew that Louis’ problem of “drippy pull-ups” came from his body regressing further and further. He didn’t allow himself to be delighted at the idea of Louis regressing to the point of incontinence in the way that the perfect little boy that he and Harry had just talked about that night at dinner would. He grabbed more wipes and powder, not wanting Louis to run out if him and Harry left. When him and Harry left, he corrected himself. Louis was not theirs, and putting a claim on him was unfair, both to the couple and Louis.

 

He braced himself for the backlash that was going to occur when he came back, Louis realizing that the two men would be seeing him naked. He approached the task as lightheartedly as possible when he was walking in, wanting to prevent a fit if possible.

 

“Who’s ready to get changed and head to bed?” Nick asked.

 

Louis was still situated on Harry’s lap, looking as if he was going to fall asleep any second, eyes heavy. “Just give me the bag, I can do it m’self.” Louis placed a grabby hand out, waiting for Nick to hand him the bag.

 

Nick sighed, thinking of the best way to phrase what he had to say next. “Darling, as you explained earlier, your pull-ups were drippy, they weren’t working for you. And that’s okay, of course. They’re meant to be used for accidents, though, not for going to the bathroom.”

 

Louis sat up, his face outraged, “What are you on about? That’s what I did- I had an accident in them!”

 

Harry chimed in; he always had the gift of putting things delicately. “I know, love, what Nick is trying to say is that pull-ups don’t seem to be enough protection. It’s not a bad thing, everyone is a bit different.” Nick was grateful for the creepy way that he and Harry had of finishing each other's thoughts, never having to quite communicate their point before the other understood what they wanted to say. 

 

“What? You think I need diapers or something? I’m not a baby!”

 

Nick didn’t warrant Louis’ accusations with a reply, barreling ahead with his dialogue, “We want you to be able to wake up dry, I bet it’s yucky and frustrating having an accident and not having your pull-up hold it all in. No one will know you’re wearing a diaper, promise.”

 

“Well you two know! That’s embarrassing!”

 

“And we’re the only two that will know, unless you want someone to know, okay? You have to remember we’re daddies, Lou, even if we aren’t your daddies. We want what’s best for you. Can you trust us? Please?” Harry asked, staring at Louis with a small smile. He knew that he had won when Louis let out a huge sigh.

 

“Fine,” Louis surrendered, “But only Harry can come upstairs to help me. If he wants. You don’t have to, I just- I don’t know how to do it. But I can figure it out. Sorry, sorry, that was presumpt-“

 

Harry interrupted Louis’ backpedaling, “Of course, Lou, are you ready to head up?”

 

He stood up, offering Louis his hand. Louis grabbed it, tangling their fingers together. He blushed a deep red when he looked down at the sagging pull-up, ready to get it off. His breathing grew heavier as they reached his room, understanding what was going to happen and knowing it would take the cake of being the most embarrassing scenario of his entire life. Harry pulled him to into the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom, grabbing a towel from the linen closet before taking it to his room and laying it out on the carpet.

 

“You can lay down, Lou,” Harry said, patting the towel. Louis teared up, letting out a little whimper at the prospect of his bandmate having to put a diaper on him. He was so helpless, such a sad excuse for a 21 year old.

 

Harry pulled him close, whispering over and over again that it was okay, that he was there for him, and that no one would know. Louis mustered up the courage to lay down, trying and failing to suppress his smile when Harry told him he was doing a great job and that he was proud of him.

 

Harry talked to him, distracting him from the moment he ripped his pull-up off, to the time he took to use baby wipes on his legs and genitals, and when he finally put him in a diaper and powdered him up. Louis was embarrassed at the gasp he let out when he saw Iron Man on the front of his diaper, surprised that they made things for babies that looked so cool. Harry pretended he didn’t notice, making sure to remember to commend Nick on his choice of diapers when they were alone later that night.

 

Although he was absolutely, 100% mortified, his first diaper change was over. He crawled into his bed like Harry had instructed him to while the younger lad cleaned up the changing space, letting out a yawn. Harry couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Louis in a t-shirt and diaper, eyes slowly opening and closing as he lay in his bed that looked far too big for him.

 

“Ready for bed, love?” Harry asked, coming to sit next to him. He pulled the sheets and duvet over Louis, tucking the boy in nice and tight.

 

Louis nodded, too tired to warrant Harry with an answer. For now, he let himself bask in the comfort of being tucked in; tomorrow morning would be a completely different story, but he’d let himself think about everything that had occurred then.

 

“Night night Loulou. I’ll see you in the morning- sweet dreams,” Harry allowed himself the pleasure of kissing Louis on the forehead, thinking he’d finally gone too far when Louis let out a gasp.

 

“Where’s Nick? Did he leave?” Louis asked, a shade too concerned for it to be considered a nonchalant question.

 

“No, he’s downstairs, I’ll call him up to say goodnight, love, I know he would love to.” Harry got up and quietly called for Nick, the man- who felt a bit neglected after being left out of the diaper change, although he understood Louis’ perspective, of course- made his way upstairs.

 

He bid Louis goodnight, rubbing his cheek softly, before both men exited the room. They made sure that they were in the guest room with the door shut before even uttering a word. All that they could think was that, yes, Louis is a little. They were right. Louis had been hiding that he was a little for over three years, and they had absolutely no idea why. Louis was so clearly torn between asking for the love that he so needed and shoving every single person who was close to him away. They weren’t sure what Louis would say when they woke up the next morning, but they were bracing themselves for backlash. Harry drifted off to sleep with his recurring dream of Nick, Louis, and himself living together as the perfect little family playing in his head- and for once, Harry thought happily, it didn’t seem that farfetched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> allllll right, here we are. if you think that it's moving too fast, I beg you to wait until the next chapter before you make up your mind on that. I want you to know that the story is far far farrrr from over, and you've got a lot of angst left in store.
> 
> as always, PLEASE COMMENT!!!! let me know what you thought, what you think is going to happen, and what you want to see :) 
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helllllo, here we are :) enjoy!  
> official twitter: @needaherofic

Harry could tell you he didn’t wake up with an ear-to-ear grin, but he’d be lying. He woke up, moving quietly to the bathroom, as he didn’t want to wake Nick up. He rummaged through the drawers until he found two extra toothbrushes, using one and setting the other out for Nick. He headed downstairs, wanting to cook breakfast for the men. He was cautiously optimistic, hoping that Louis would wake up and realize that Nick and Harry were what he needed in his life. He knew that it was foolish, but he wished it could be that easy.

 

Nick came downstairs thirty or so minutes later, kissing Harry, breath minty from the toothpaste he had just used.

 

“Morning love, just making some eggs,” Harry said. Nick smiled in reply, not wanting to let his concern at Harry’s happiness show. He knew that the second that Louis walked down those stairs he was going to be embarrassed and reject the comfort that the two men wanted to offer him. He knew from Harry that the boy didn’t get angry, but he knew that there was a chance that he would be hurtful in his rejection of the men. Nick knew that he could take it, but he was worried about Harry. His sweet, sweet Harry who just wanted to please Louis and give him the life that he knew he deserved.

 

If Nick was being honest, he had a feeling that Louis would be theirs eventually. The keyword being eventually, because there was no way of knowing exactly how long it would take for the boy to come to terms with who he was.

 

Nick and Harry pretended to ignore the pitter-pattering of feet on the stairs, continuing their conversation until Louis walked into the kitchen.

 

“Hi Lou, did you sleep well?” Harry asked, continuing to plate the eggs and toast that he’d made. Nick rolled his eyes at Harry’s feigned nonchalance, acting as if there wasn’t a universe-sized elephant in the room.

 

“Um. Yeah.” Louis replied eloquently. He seemed to think for a moment, gathering his thoughts before replying.

 

“I- thank you for last night. I was acting stupid; I don’t know what got into me. Sorry for acting like a baby and making you guys deal with that.”

 

It took all of Harry’s strength not to scream as loud as he could that Louis had no reason to be sorry. The past few weeks had Harry thinking about the way that Louis acted and how insecure the boy really was. He was always apologizing to everyone for almost every action that he took. Whether it be to a fan for not smiling wide enough in their picture, to one of his bandmates for being thirty seconds late, or to an interviewer for not giving them the exact answer that they wanted to hear. He never wanted to offend anyone or upset anyone and it broke Harry’s heart.

 

“Lou, you have no reason to be sorry. We wouldn’t have come if we didn’t want to help, okay?” Harry answered.

 

“I know that, but I’m 21. I should be able to handle this kind of thing myself. ‘M a gad not a little, I shouldn’t be this useless.”

 

Nick sighed. He knew that Louis would rest back on his story of being a general. How naïve did he think him and Harry were? He took to answering Louis before Harry could.

 

“Louis, love, I know this must be hard for you, but we know you’re not a gad. I’m not sure who made you think that being a little was embarrassing or shameful, but they were wrong. You don’t have to believe me right now, but if there’s anything we can do to get you to that point please let us know.”

 

The little was sat at his kitchen table, letting out small cries that were muffled by the hands that covered his face. Nick and Harry exchanged a heartbroken look, not making a noise. They would let Louis process the information that his secret was out, they couldn’t even imagine the thoughts going through his head.

 

Breakfast went to waste, the two daddies not wanting to eat while watching Louis in such a distressed state.

 

Louis’ cries died down, and he slowly looked up at the men with red-rimmed eyes. They weren’t sure what he would say, not knowing where his mind was at.

 

“So what now? I get embarrassed in front of the world on your radio show? What approach are you going to take to broadcasting the news? Are you going to tell everyone that I’m a baby, that I don’t even know when I’m going to the bathroom anymore?” Louis replied, in a tone that he would’ve considered mean. But Nick and Harry didn’t hear someone who was speaking maliciously; they heard and saw an insecure, scared little boy who didn’t know how to handle the situation he was in. And it broke their hearts.

 

“Louis, love. Can you look at me? Thank you. I would never do anything to embarrass you. Ever. And I know it is hard for you to understand, but there is no reason to be embarrassed about your classification. There’s no shame in being a little, just like there’s no reason in being ashamed for being a pet, or a master, or anything. Do you make fun of Harry and I for being daddies?”

 

The boy looked affronted, sputtering, “Of course not! Being a daddy is special. All littles need daddies and mommies!”

 

“There you have it. Harry and I feel the same way about littles; there’s no point for daddies if there aren’t littles. You’re special, Louis.”

 

“I don’t know. I’ve been told that I was a baby my whole life, that no one wants a helpless baby. And I understand. My hands shake so hard I can barely eat by myself. I can’t even tell when I’m going to the bathroom anymore. Why would anyone want to deal with that?” for Louis, it was so simple and easy to believe. Why would anyone want a little, especially one as helpless as him?

 

Harry answered, “In the same way that you need help, p-doms are there to help you. They want to help. Everyone has a different set of needs, be it a little or a parent. Say, for instance, that Nick and I were looking for a ten year old little girl; there is a girl who fits exactly what we are looking for out there, and eventually we’ll find her and be able to take care of her in the exact way she needs.”

 

Nick shot Harry a murderous look that he was completely oblivious to as he continued to look at Louis, knowing that his boyfriend just fucked up any chance that they had at Louis becoming their little. For someone as ridiculously insecure as Louis was, it was hard enough to admit that he wanted something, let alone something as intimate as a parent/little relationship. Nick wasn’t sure if Louis would even want to be their little, but when Harry made up their hypothetical dream little, a person who was nothing like Louis, there was no way he’d even ask.

 

Louis felt his stomach sink at Harry’s words. Right before he went to bed, he would sometimes let himself have the pleasure of thinking about life as Nick and Harry’s little. There was no doubt that they were good dads; he loved Harry, he had always looked up to him and thought that it was a perfect arrangement. That one day Harry would find out that he was a little and ask him to join their family. Of course he wouldn’t want Louis, why would he? He was a baby. Yeah, Harry was a p-dom, but he wanted a ten year old, not a little kid who needed diapers. He felt stupid, heart breaking as the one tiny piece of solace he found at being a little was ruined.

 

“Yeah, of course. You guys deserve the perfect girl, I’m sure you’ll find her,” Harry tried to interrupt, understanding now that his hypothetical situation was taken out of context, but Louis plowed on, “I understand if it’s too much to ask, but. Um. Sorry, this is just embarrassingly hard to talk about out loud for the first time. I guess I was just wondering if you could help me? I just- I’ve never done this. I think I want to find a dom, I just don’t know how to do it. And don’t really want anyone knowing?”

 

Nick clenched his fists tightly, wanting to rewind time so that Harry would have not made a comment that could potentially have ruined the chance at them having Louis as their baby. Harry looked at Nick frantically, unsure of what to do. On the one hand, he could tell Louis his comment was truly one that was hypothetical, that their perfect little was a very young boy. But on the other hand, he could look like a domineering jerk if he were to do so. He knew how insecure and people-pleasing Louis was, that he would feel so terrible telling Nick and Harry that he didn’t want them as his daddies that he’d go along with whatever they wanted. So he stayed silent, waiting for Nick to continue the conversation.

 

“Of course, Lou, anything you need. I’m not sure if you know Jesy from Little Mix and her fiancé Jake from Rixton, but they’re looking for a little boy. I can introduce you to them if you want, I think you’d love them, and I know that they’d be over the moon to meet you.”

 

Louis looked down, trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say, “I- I don’t know if it’s weird, but I guess I don’t really want a mommy? I have always pictured myself with a daddy. I don’t know how this works. But if you think I should meet them then I will. I trust you.”

 

Nick truly was going to kill Harry.

 

“No, no, no, Lou, you don’t need to meet them if you aren’t interested. It’s not weird to only want a male or a female. It’s completely normal. Just like I said, everyone has a personal preference when it comes to their classification.”

 

“Okay, good, that makes me feel better. I didn’t know if there was something wrong with me. Thank you for listening to me. I know you guys have better things to do. I’m just gonna lay down and go on the Quench I think. I dunno, it’s like, I spent so long keeping it to myself, it feels kind of good to have people know. Not that I want everyone alive to know, but it’s a start.”

 

“We’re very proud of you,” Harry said, “If you need any help with setting up your profile or anything at all, just let us know. Remember that whomever you are interested in on the site is under the discretionary policy of the law. No one will know you saw or met up with them until you want them to know.”

 

Louis nodded, giving the men a small smile as they stood up. Nick walked over to Louis, grabbing the boys’ hands and standing him up before pulling him into a tight hug. Louis let himself relax into the embrace, feeling protected and small against Nick’s strong frame.

 

He eventually released his hold on Nick, knowing the couple had better things to do than stay with him all day.

 

Harry moved in, hugging Louis tightly. The smaller man swallowed his pride, standing on his tippy toes to whisper in Harry’s ear, too ashamed to ask what he needed to ask out loud. He was proud of himself; this was without a doubt the biggest step he’d made in the past 3 years regarding his classification. Asking for help when he needed it. If he were to get a daddy, then he’d need to be able to ask them for what he needs, right? Louis told himself that this was just practice, that it didn’t matter that it was Harry he was asking.

 

Harry stilled when Louis cupped his small hand around his ear, bending down so that it’d be easier for the boy to reach him.

 

“I- um. You can say no, but could you maybe show me how to change my… yeah.” Louis couldn’t feel embarrassed about his lack of eloquence; he’d been having a harder time forming coherent thoughts as of late, something he attributed to the embarrassment and stress that he’d been experiencing.

 

Harry nodded, waiting for Louis to lead him upstairs. He was overjoyed at the prospect of being able to help Louis, but felt a sense of dread at the fact that it could be the last time he had a chance to help the boy before he found a daddy. A daddy that wasn’t him or Nick. He looked back at Nick who waved him off, understanding where Harry was going having heard Louis’ loud whisper.

 

Louis hurried ahead of him, having set down a towel on the ground before Harry had made it to the room. Harry looked down at the towel, confused at why Louis had set it out until he saw the ashamed blush on Louis’ face.

 

“You can leave, sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking asking you to help. Sorry, sorry. I just- I went and don’t really know how to change it.”

 

Harry felt sick to his stomach listening to Louis’ apologies. He thought back to the days where he just thought that Louis was a people-pleaser, and that was that. He now saw that Louis was extremely insecure and just looking for someone to give him praise and tell him that he was doing things right.

 

 

Harry reassured him, “Lou, of course I’ll help. It’s pretty easy, just lay back and I’ll explain it to you.” Louis let out a breath, lying back onto the towel. Harry tried not to think about the changing table he would get for Louis, dark brown wood with a changing pad covered in his favorite Marvel characters, but he couldn’t help himself.

 

“First, you’ve to take your sweats off,” Harry joked, pulling down Louis’ sweatpants and tickling his stomach to make him giggle and ease the boy’s tension. He smiled when his efforts succeeded, Louis’ eyes crinkling in joy.

 

Harry unstrapped the wet diaper, continuing to talk as he did so, “Next, you have to make sure you wipe everywhere. Rashes can get pretty nasty and you don’t want to have to deal with that.”

 

Louis couldn’t help but blush as Harry cleaned his most private parts. Harry pulled a new diaper out of the pack, opening it up with one hand while the other continued cleaning Louis. The little couldn’t help but marvel at the way that Harry was so comfortable changing him, wondering why he wanted an older little instead of one he could use his expert changing skills on.

 

“All done! If you have any questions or ever need any help, just know I’d be more than happy to. The boys won’t know until you want them to, they won’t be hearing anything from me. Promise.” Harry stood up and took the used diaper to the bathroom, washing his hands before coming walking back into Louis’ room. The boy was stood up, giving Harry a small smile that seemed to say thank you.

 

The second that Harry and Nick had walked into their house Harry started crying. Nick was surprised that it had taken Harry so long, especially when Nick didn’t start up conversation in the car. Nick’s anger at Harry came second to his love for him, quickly embracing his boyfriend and walking him to the couch.

 

“I fucked up,” Harry choked out in between sobs.

 

“It’s okay, love, we’ll figure this out. All we can do now is wait for Louis to realize that we’re perfect for him.”

 

“But, he doesn’t even think we want a little boy! How can we convince him that he should give us a chance?”

 

“By being there for him and giving him time. He needs time to come to terms with being a little before he can even think about getting a daddy.”

 

“Or daddies,” Harry chimed in, quickly returning to his cheeky self.

 

“Or daddies,” Nick agrees, “We can show him that we’re good daddies and that we’d be great for him. I mean, you’re around him more than I am, you can retract your hypothetical and let him come to the conclusion that he wants us. We aren’t making a move towards him, that’s not what he needs right now.”

 

Harry nodded. “But we can show him how good we’d be for him, right?”

 

\-----------------------

 

Louis’ intercom was buzzed in at about 5:30 that night, and he was confused as to who it could be. He accepted the call, and opened the gate for Dale after he revealed that it was him.

 

He was flustered as the guard handed off his favorite sandwich and drink from his favorite sit down restaurant. Dale left after letting him know that the meal was from Harry and Nick, bidding the man a goodnight.

 

Louis’ heart fluttered at the thought that Harry and Nick were thinking about him. It was the nicest thing anyone had done for him in a long time. He took the food upstairs, settling in his bed and pulling out his laptop. As he had watched football that day, his mind thought up questions that he would look up when he settled in his room for the night.

 

He let out a moan at the food, not having had a chance to go to the restaurant in months due to their busy travelling schedule. He grabbed his phone, starting a group chat with Harry and Nick and texting them thank you and how much he appreciated them thinking of him. He put his phone down, turning back to his computer and pulling up Google, ready to start searching for the answers to his questions.

 

He started by typing in “Tips for l-subs on the Quench”, wanting to know how to attract daddies to him. He’d never gone farther than the login screen of the website, scared to see what the website actually consisted of.

 

Clicking the first item that came up after hitting enter, he saw that it was a sort of blog post from someone who called themselves “Good Girl Gracie”. The page was entitled: “The Quench: A How-To For Littles”.

 

**If you’re on this page, I assume you’re a little who isn’t quite sure how to use the Quench or hasn’t had much experience with a p-dom. I welcome you with open arms! After reading this post you should have most of your questions answered and understand the process of using the website a little bit better. I’ve included more resources at the bottom that can hopefully answer the questions that are left unanswered for you when I’m done here!**

**First, we’ll go into a little history of the Quench. It’s set up by the government, and your user login came with your classification when you turned 18. If you don’t have your login information, don’t fret! Type in your last name and the first two initials of your first name, and your password can be setup with the forget password button. The point of the Quench, formally known as Governmental Classification Matching System (that doesn’t sound quite as fun, now does it?), is to provide all classifications with the chance to meet people of their opposite classification and to explore yourself in a safe environment with someone who knows what they’re doing. Whether you’re 18, new to where you live, or have never had an experience with a p-dom, there is no reason to fret. We’ll get into it later, but there is a chance to state your experience level when you’re setting up your profile on the site. I can tell you from personal experience, there’s absolutely no reason to worry- this site is made to help you, and it will.**

**Second, we’ll go over how you actually set up a profile. Just like any other website where you make a personal profile, you’re asked to post a picture. Post one where you can see your face. An important piece of advice- smile! People love to see someone who’s happy, so show them your pearly whites! The government’s records department already filled out most of the information such as your age, eye color, and hair color. If you have your hair dyed, or any of the information is wrong, feel free to change it! Most of the setup is pretty self-explanatory.**

**Thirdly, now we get to the good stuff. After filling out your basic profile and hitting enter, you’re taken to a questionnaire. Make sure you have a lot of time on your hands when taking it, as you don’t want to rush through it. It starts with basic information such as your education level, family life, and job. Then it moves into classification specific questions, so as a fellow little I can explain pretty well the main points of what they ask. I will give you one caveat; be honest. You are looking for someone who fits you well, and if you aren’t honest then you won’t find him or her. There is no reason to be ashamed about your regression level, likes, dislikes, everything. Remember that the people you’re given as potential matches are on the same page as you! There is no shame in being who you are.**

**Fourthly and finally, is the actual conversation. I won’t lie to you and tell you that some people aren’t a bit weird. There are weirdos in every classification, in every corner of the world. That’s just how life is, unfortunately. But it’s easy to weed them out based on the conversations that you have with them. Ask yourself if they are truly trying to get to know you and get a good read on you before asking you to meet up. You can reply to someone as much as you want or as little as you want- you don’t need to feel the need to please anyone, this is for you, not for them. Everyone who is featured on the Quench has no criminal charges; at the first allegation of a criminal record they’re taken off the website. You are safe and the website provides you with the discretion that you need. Your computer cannot screenshot the webpage, and if a person is caught with any of your conversations on your phone or elsewhere they are forever banned from the site. The government worked to make this site as safe as possible, and to provide people with comfort while exploring themselves.**

**I found my mommy on the Quench, and I couldn’t be happier. I bid you goodbye and good luck! Happy hunting, my fellow littles =)**

 

Her post hit just about everything that Louis was wondering, and he slowly typed in the web address for the Quench. It was time. His hands were shaking slightly, but it was more manageable than a lot of the tremors he’d been dealing with. He logged on to the site without issue, and posted a picture that someone had taken of him on stage. He cropped it so that it was only his face; not wanting the person to know what he did before he told them. He changed his name from Louis Tomlinson to just Louis, not wanting his last name to be public knowledge. He began the questionnaire, the questions starting out as basic questions, as Gracie had reported, moving into invasive questions. Some were answered simply by checking yes/no, others had him choose an answer out of a list of given replies.

 

Have you ever had a p-dom before?: _No_

 

What is your comfort level with your status? (Rating 1-10, 10 being most comfortable): _1_

 

What is your estimated age of regression?: _Infancy (ages 0-2)_

 

What is your preferred gender of parent-dominant: _Male_

 

What is your level of sexual experience?: _Little_

 

Would you prefer one parent-dominant or a couple?: _Doesn’t matter_

 

Would you like a sibling? (Either a biological child or another little): _No_

 

What ages are you looking for?: _20-35_

 

Choose 3 adjectives to describe you: _Shy, Quiet, Bashful_

 

Anything else you want to share?: _No_

 

The questions blurred together in Louis’ mind, having answered over 70 by the time that he was done. He clicked submit, and a message popped up that the page would refresh as soon as his answers were matched up with dominants who he could be compatible with. He took the time to check his phone, seeing that he had three new texts.

 

Nick and Harry had replied to the group message her started, telling him they hoped he enjoyed the food and had a great night… along with a ton of random emojis, of course, because it wouldn’t be a text from Harry if it didn’t include them.

 

His other text was from Niall, and he could already tell you what it said. “Let’s go out tonight!” Whether he was just oblivious to the fact that Louis denied his request to go out every single time he texted him or he just didn’t care, it could be said that Niall was persistent, bless his heart. He was almost completely dead on with his guess as to what Niall’s text read.

 

**Let’s go get sloshed, mate!!!!!! Got some fit girls ready to come out!!!!!**

 

Louis sighed, feeling a pit form in his stomach. He replied to Niall and told him that he was busy and that they’d have to go out some time next week. The talk of anything sexual made him upset, it was something he tried not to think about often. He wasn’t sure what the boys or the fans really thought of him in terms of being a guy, what they thought his sex life consisted of. He truly didn’t want to know. He’d never had the chance to have a long relationship, being plucked into a life of fame at age 16. He made up excuses for the reasons why he never had the relationships or hookups that his bandmates had, but the truth was that he just didn’t have a desire to be with someone in that way.

 

Not that he’d ever tell anyone, but he had never even kissed someone before. 21 years old, in the biggest band on the planet, and he’d never even kissed a girl or a guy. He was always a bit confused about anything that related to the sphere of sexual activity. He’d hear the boys, not Harry, though, never Harry, talking about fingering and blowing and boning girls and he’d laugh when the others laugh, aw when they awed. Truth be told, he had no idea what they were talking about, and he had no desire to find out. He knew that he was most likely the most innocent and sheltered 21 year old on the planet, but he was okay with it. Kind of. On one hand, he was content with living in his own nonsexual world. It was what he was comfortable with, it was how he felt safe. But on the other hand, he couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with him. Everyone he knew had been in relationships or had one-night stands, that’s just how the world worked, wasn’t it?

 

He looked back to his computer, seeing that his matches had loaded. His stomach clenched, worried to see what kind of daddies his answers had conjured up. The website listed the matches, having a small picture and biography of each in a list format. There was a percentage next to their picture that represented how compatible they were. He was pleased to see that there were eighteen 100% matches for him.

 

He was surprised by how normal most of them looked, he wasn’t sure why. In his mind he’d never thought that he deserved a daddy who was attractive, someone kind and loving. It was a product of his insecurities and lack of confidence, but this website gave him some renewed hope. He looked through their profiles, getting a read on them and what they were about. Even though the site had said they were a 100% match from the information that Louis had given them, it was clear that some of them just would not fit his lifestyle. He resolutely shut the computer, wanting to see if any of the daddies would send him a message first. He was patient; he had waited years to even tell someone that he was a little, he could wait a day to see if anyone wanted to be his daddy.

 

Louis woke up in a cold sweat later that night, having dreamt of Harry and Nick asking him to be their little, only to post embarrassing pictures of Louis sleeping in only a clearly soaked diaper on Instagram. Good or bad, he needed to stop thinking about Nick and Harry. They wanted a little girl. They told him. They wanted someone who was potty trained, someone that could feed themselves and do fun stuff with them. Not him. They didn’t want him. They would never want him. He needed to get it through his head, but he couldn’t. His mind inevitably went back to them, he constantly found himself thinking about them holding him, bathing him, feeding him, playing with him. He hoped that he would find someone who made him feel even remotely close to what Nick and Harry made him feel. He doubted it, he was bound for a life of misery and unhappiness, it’s what he deserved. He shook his head; the middle of the night was no time for such negative thoughts.

 

The next three days sped by in a blur of more diaper changes than he would have liked to do, footie, pointedly not checking the Quench, and Harry and Nick having Dale deliver him food. His nightmares didn’t go away, progressively getting worse as the week dragged on. He woke up Tuesday to Alberto knocking on his bedroom door, telling him that it was time to go back to rehearsals. He had thought long and hard over whether or not he would wear a diaper, but at this point it wasn’t even an option not to. It had gotten to the point where he couldn’t even tell when he was going to the bathroom until he was done; complete loss of control. He changed into a clean diaper before he left, throwing on a pair of sweats and a crewneck over it. He looked at himself from every angle, making sure that the extra padding wasn’t obvious. He made sure to grab a couple extra diapers and the pack of wipes just in case he needed them. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be at the studio, but he could never be too careful.

 

He handed them off to Alberto when he got down to his kitchen after brushing his teeth. The guard raised his eyebrows at them, surprised that the boy had regressed so quickly, but didn’t say anything. He pulled Louis into a hug, “I missed ya, bud, glad to be back.” Louis squeezed the man, letting him know he missed him as well.

 

Louis’ mood picked up when he got to the studio, finding himself excited to be practicing songs from FOUR. It was his favorite album by a mile, finally having the chance to write the songs he actually wanted to write. They were headed out on what their management called a world tour, but Louis thought that the title was a bit generous. The tour only had 15 dates across the world; 7 in the US, 3 in Australia, 2 in the UK, 3 in Europe. They were all at huge stadiums that had sold out in minutes. Fans were obviously upset, and Louis didn’t blame them. Their management wanted them to have a month of touring, six months off, before strapping in for the long haul. They wanted their fifth album to be the best one yet, and they wanted fans to be excited for it. It wasn’t that they weren’t excited for this tour, but it was right after the Where We Are tour and they weren’t left wanting for much. Louis wouldn’t complain about having time off, but he wanted to give the fans the best tour they possibly could before taking their break.

 

“Lou, what’s up man?” Zayn said, pulling him into a hug.

 

“Not much, Z, just spent the past week chillin. You have a good time off?”

 

“Yeah, mate, met a girl, you’ve got to meet her.”

 

“I’d love to- happy for you, Zayn, it’s about time!” Louis said jokingly, but gave his bandmate a sincere smile. He was happy for Zayn, he deserved the best sub in the world.

 

Louis thinks that it would be impossible to be sad while being surrounded by his bandmates. His good mood lasted for the first week of rehearsals before everything went downhill. He woke up in the middle of the night, unsure of what had woken up him until he shifted in his bed.

 

“No way,” he breathed, starting to hyperventilate. This couldn’t be happening, it really can’t be happening, he thought. He got up slowly, every step making the realization that he’d messed his diaper more terrible. He didn’t think that he’d ever get to this point, that he’d fully lose control of his body functions. After a shower and a lot of tears, he hopped back into bed. At least he knew that his life couldn’t get any worse than it was.

 

But he was wrong. Of course it could get wrong; it was like as soon as you thought that the world couldn’t hand you any more terrible cards, it did, just to prove you wrong. He woke up the next morning quite early, grabbing his phone to check twitter. It wasn’t something he did often; it kind of ruined his perception of the fans when he looked too much. They would fight with other fans constantly, sending hate to anyone who was even remotely connected to the band. It wasn’t something that Louis understood completely, but he tried to stay away from it. His timeline was full of tweets that contained the words Harry and Nick. He went to an update account that he found to be pretty reliable and almost threw up. Harry and Nick were pictured inside a restaurant and leaving the place with Taylor Swift. Louis tried to keep his breathing steady, hands pulling at his hair in anguish.

 

Louis considered himself to be a pretty calm and loving person, but one person he couldn’t stay was the blonde haired she-devil, Taylor Swift. She was the darling of the universe, the best selling pop singer of the century. Louis personally didn’t understand why, her voice wasn’t that strong and her songs were average. She was photographed with a different man every week it seemed, and it didn’t matter what their classification was. That was the mystique of Taylor Swift; no one knew what her classification was. No one knew what subset she fell into, hell, no one even knew if she was a dom or a sub. And that’s why Louis absolutely detested her. She made a mockery of the classification system, acting like it didn’t even matter. Someone who used the system for their own gain as a celebrity was disgusting to Louis. It wasn’t something to be made a joke of, it wasn’t frivolous; it was the way that life worked. She provided a terrible role model for all of her fans, telling them that their classification was irrelevant and that they could be with anyone they wanted. Any adult who’d dealt with classification problems, like Louis had, understood that. To see Harry with her was a stab to the heart. To see Nick laughing at whatever she was saying made him want to drown. He knew he wasn’t good enough for them. Maybe she was a little; he could see it, he guesses. The childish way she acted, the way that she was always vying for the attention of people. He would place her around 10 on the regression spectrum. His heart sank, realizing that she was the little that they’d always wanted.

 

He texted Alberto, telling him that he wasn’t going to rehearsals that morning because he was feeling sick. The bodyguard told him that he’d let their choreographer, Paul, know. He cried himself back to sleep, hoping that he’d wake up and it’d all have been a dream. He knew that life didn’t work like that though, no matter how much he wished it did.

 

It didn’t go away when he woke up. What he did wake up to was a soiled nappy, and he couldn’t help but sobbed as he changed himself, wondering when his life had gotten so terrible and bleak. Once clean, he curled up in his bed, hands shaking as he checked his phone. He had texts from Liam, Niall, and Zayn, telling him that they hoped he was okay and to let them know if he needed anything.

 

He had fifteen texts from Harry and Nick in the groupchat that he’d started only last week, even though it seemed like years ago.

 

**Are you okay??**

**Where are you?**

_Sorry, just got off air. Are you good, Louis?_

**????**

_Do you need anything?_

_Louis?_

**Looooouis?????**

_We’re coming over there if you don’t answer._

_Do you need us to send you any food?_

**Louis???**

**This isn’t funny**

_Can you reply?_

**Maybe he’s asleep**

_Harry, you just said this to me out loud……… you didn’t need to text it here??_

**Louis, please reply when you see this!!!!!!!**

 

Louis’s shaky hand hovered over his iPhone, unsure of whether or not to reply. He ended up replying with a simple: I’m fine, just sick. I don’t need anything, thank you.

 

His tone was impersonal, but he didn’t owe Nick and Harry anything, and they didn’t owe him anything either. It was when he was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling numb, that he decided to check his messages on the Quench.

 

He opened up his laptop, quickly typing in the web address before hovering over the red inbox icon. He clicked on it, surprised to see that he had 57 messages, 17 of the being from the 100% matches that the website had shown him. Those were placed on top, as the site gave them priority, and he looked through them slowly. He saw one that caught his eye, the picture of a man who looked like he was in his late 20s. He had a nice smile, light blond hair, and hazel eyes. He read his message:

 

_**Hi Louis, my name is Carter. I live in London and, if it wasn’t obvious, I’m a daddy. Your gorgeous face caught my eye, and I definitely thought that I should send you a message. I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I’d love to meet up with you. Please let me know when you’re free and if you’d like to meet.** _

 

Louis started to reply almost immediately, letting the man know that he’d like to meet up with him on Friday night, two days from then. He didn’t heed Gracie’s warning of talking to p-doms before deciding to meet up. He was desperate for someone, in need of someone’s affection. He blushed at the way that the man called him gorgeous, never having heard it outside of a fan’s use regarding his looks.

 

He yawned, allowing himself to fall back asleep. He was anxious to see what the man would reply, unsure of whether or not he would change his mind about whether or not he was willing to meet up with Louis. Louis understood if he changed his mind; he knew that there were a lot of littles who were a lot better and more experienced at this than him.

When he woke up again it was pitch black out, Louis blindly grabbing his phone to see that it was 11:30. He noticed that Harry and Nick never replied to his text glumly. He decided to check twitter, thinking that he could make a few fan’s lives a bit better than his was by following them. He realized it was a mistake when he logged on and saw more pictures of Harry, Nick, and Taylor on his timeline. He knew that it was serious by the way that they’d been publicly photographed two nights in a row. Harry was never one for being photographed, not wanting his private life to be shared with the world. He must really like Taylor to be going out on such public outings, letting her love of being photographed come in front of his desire for privacy. Louis must be missing something when it comes to her personality. She must be great if Harry and Nick both like her. He could be happy for them. He could. He loved Harry with his whole heart, the boy had done so much for Louis over the past five years. And sure, he didn't know Nick extremely well, but the man had never done anything wrong. He was always there to help he when he needed it. There was nothing he could do to change who he was and what they wanted, that's what he kept telling himself. There was nothing he could do to make himself more appealing to them. He couldn't help the childish hurt that he felt at being rejected. For Harry to be a daddy, someone who knows him so intimately well, and not want him... well, that hurt. It made him look at all of his flaws, all of the things that would make them not want him.

 

He couldn’t allow himself to think about it anymore without going absolutely insane. Opening his computer up, he lit up when he saw that Carter had replied to his message. It was brief, but included a time and location for their Friday meet up. It was a restaurant that Louis had never been to, but it seemed nice enough. He forced himself to be excited, unsure of why the prospect of having a daddy didn’t make him happy. He hoped that the meeting would bring the excitement that he was lacking right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to angst city, all aboard! 
> 
> I want to start off by saying thank you so much for all of your amazing, sweet, and thoughtful comments! you guys make my entire life, truly.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! I most likely won't be able to update for a week, unfortunately. My uni is in a football championship game next weekend and I'm driving out for it, as well as my sorority semi-formal being on Friday, an essay being due Tuesday, and an exam Wednesday... safe to say my week is ridiculously busy! 
> 
> The next chapter will bring us the next morning's rehearsal, and Louis' meet up with Carter. I promise it won't disappoint.
> 
> as always, please comment, you make my entire life if/when you do ! let me know what you think :) for any of you who like Taylor Swift, I apologize. I'm taking some of my feelings about her and warping them to fit into this story.
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! it's me, the author with absolutely NO self control who spent her day writing this instead of writing her paper :) I couldn't leave yall hanging, I felt too mean! 
> 
> WARNING for unwanted sexual advances!! it's minor, but better safe than sorry!
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic

In the five years that Harry had known Louis, he could say without a doubt that the boy had never been mean to him. Until now. Sure, the level of mean that Louis was operating on was that of a two year old who didn’t get their way or a newborn kitten who was testing out its claws, but still. It hurt. Harry had shown up to rehearsal tired after his night out with Nick and Taylor, but was rejuvenated when he saw the back of Louis’ head. The boy’s hair was messed up, and the back of his shirt was tucked into his diaper, leaving the back flap of it hanging out of his sweatpants. Luckily, no one was there besides the two of them yet, so Harry walked over to Louis and fixed his shirt. Louis gasped, turning around to see who it was. His face was a mixture of relief and something that was akin to anger when he saw that it was Harry. He walked away from him with a little huff, Harry smiling fondly at the little waddle that the diaper forced him to walk with.

 

He didn’t realize that anything was wrong until it was lunchtime and Louis hadn’t spoken a word to him.

 

“What do you want to get for lunch, Lou? I was thinking about Chinese takeout, sound good?”

 

Louis muttered under his breath before walking away, “Nothing with you.”

 

Harry watched as Louis lay on the couch in the studio throughout lunch, pretending to be napping instead of eating. He wanted nothing more than to go over to him, and feed him some of his food. He knew he couldn’t, though, not with all of the boys being in such close proximity to them.

 

When there was about an hour left of rehearsal and they’d finally gotten their clapping together for the bridge of Fireproof, Louis felt his stomach cramping up. For the fourth time that week, he found himself messing his diaper before he could stop it. He quickly scampered off, grabbing the bag that Alberto had left him on the floor and taking it to the bathroom to change. He was sobbing, unable to breathe. He was absolutely paranoid that one of the other boys had seen him, that his secret was out. Harry is a daddy, his mind taunted him, he probably knows exactly what you just did. He knew that Harry was disgusted by him, that’s why he wanted an older little, he didn’t want to have to deal with a baby like him. He was ashamed of himself, he couldn’t believe that he had lost all control of his body functions at the age of 21. When he was finished cleaning up, he rinsed his face off and tried to look as normal as possible.

 

He walked out, nodding to the boys when they asked if he was okay. Liam deemed their rehearsal over, and Louis started walking out, ready to find Alberto so he could get him home.

 

Harry rushed over to Louis, concerned by his quick exit earlier and how he exited with tear tracks evident on his face. “Loulou, are you okay? Can I do anything?”

 

Louis looked at him, eyes filling up with tears against his will. “No, Harry, you can’t do anything. Don’t worry about me; go home to Nick and Taylor. ‘M just a baby, you don’t want to help me, stop pretending you do.”

 

Louis walked off quickly, not wanting to hear Harry agree with him. It’d hurt too much to hear his worst fears confirmed even though he already knew they were true. Harry didn’t care about him, he only had to pretend out of pity, pity that Louis was a helpless baby and no one wanted him. Not his own mother, not any daddy on the face of the earth.

 

Harry was confused, to say the least, unsure of how Louis had jumped from point A to point Z so quickly. He thought about calling Louis’ name, telling him to come back, but he figured that he was just having a bad day. What really confused him was the mention of Taylor, unsure of what she had to do with any of this. Sure, him and Nick had been going to dinner with her, but she was just in town for once and telling him and Nick about the sub she’d met. She’d always kind of irked Harry, the way that she played coy about her classification, flitting about in different relationships with different subsets, but she was a nice girl. Harry was happy for her. But Louis? That was a different story. He hoped that the little was okay. It was hard giving the boy his space when all he wanted to do was hold him close and never let him go. But he wasn’t Nick’s and he wasn’t Harry’s, they had to give him his space and let him come to them when, IF, he wanted to. Harry just hoped it would happen, and it would happen soon.

 

\-----

 

Niall was absolutely overjoyed when he got a call from Louis saying he needed help picking an outfit out for a date that Friday night. Niall drove over to Louis’ house after rehearsals the next day, drilling Louis with questions. Yes, it was a he. Yes, they were going out to dinner. Louis lied a bit, telling Niall he met him through Stan instead of explaining he met him on the Quench, which would give away his status as gads didn’t use the site.

 

The gad helped Louis pick out an outfit, black skinny jeans, because what else would he wear? and a maroon sweater. He had to explain to Niall that he would try the outfit on in the bathroom because he had a nasty bruise from playing footie with some mates that he didn’t want Niall to see. Louis was a bit self conscious at the way his jeans fit so tightly, making it obvious for anyone who was looking that he was wearing a diaper. He figured he was fine, though, because who would be looking closely? Hopefully only Carter, if anyone at all. Niall squeezed him tightly before he left, asking if Louis wanted a ride over to the restaurant. Louis turned him down, saying he was just going to take an Uber.

 

Louis never learned how to drive, his mom expressly forbidding him to learn when he was at home due to her suspicions of him being a little, and knowing that his secret would be found out if he signed up for lessons once in London. Littles were the only classification that weren’t allowed to drive, the fear of them falling into their headspace in the midst of driving far too big a danger for the little driving and those on the road around them.

 

Louis’ heart stopped when he got to the restaurant, he found it harder and harder to breathe as his date loomed closer and closer by the second. He could do this. He had to do this. He walked up to the elderly hostess at the front of the restaurant who showed no recognition of who he was, a good sign. He gave her Carter’s name as he was instructed to do, and she led him back to an empty booth in the far corner of the restaurant. Years of dealing with important people in the music industry had hammered it into Louis’ head to arrive everywhere at least five minutes early, so he wasn’t too worried about Carter not being there yet. He looked down at his phone, shaky hands scrolling through his twitter timeline.

 

“Louis?” He heard a man’s voice say. He looked up with a smile, seeing the man from the Quench in front of him. It was clear that his profile picture was a bit outdated; the man’s hair was more gray than blond, but it was okay. It was okay. Late 20s seemed a bit of a stretch, but Carter couldn’t lie on the website about his age, could he? Louis nodded shyly, unsure of proper etiquette. The man sat down when he realized that Louis wasn’t going to stand up to greet him.

 

“How are you, Louis?” Carter asked him, staring at him intensely.

 

“I’m good,” Louis said in a small voice, glancing up at the man. This was hard for him, the whole getting to know someone thing. After years of hiding himself, he found it especially difficult to trust people, to let them see who he really was.

 

Before he could reply, a waitress came over to ask for their drink orders. “Two Miller Lites please, that’ll be all,” dismissing her before she could even ask Louis if that was what he wanted.

 

Louis tried to breathe, unsure of how to tell Carter that he didn’t drink. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t. He’d just pretend to drink the beer… it’d be easy and painless. He didn’t want to upset the man when he was nice enough to even go out with Louis in the first place. The waitress came back with their drinks quickly, directing her question of whether or not they were ready to order to Carter.

 

Louis had heard of dominants that felt it was their duty to order for their sub and make most decisions for them. It was considered very old school, as it was indeed the year 2015. He didn’t even hear what Carter ordered for him, mind lost in thought and trying his best not to tense up when he felt Carter’s foot wrap around his leg from under the booth.

 

As soon as she left, he resumed conversation. It flowed pretty easily, Carter explaining that he was a computer technician. Louis let the man do most of the talking, as Carter seemed to like that.

 

“You’re good at this, aren’t you, Louis? Do you do this often?”

 

“Wh-what do you mean?” Louis asked, confused.

 

“Oh, little boy, you are good at this. You want to keep playing with Mr. Carter, don’t you? That’s okay, we can play, I’ll never say no to that.”

 

Louis tried not to let his confusion show, instead flashing a quick smile up at him, looking at the man from under his lashes.

 

The man inhaled a breath quickly, shaking his head, “Oh, yes, I have a feeling you’re going to be very good for me. Would you like to come back to my flat for some big boy playtime after we eat?”

 

“Um. What would you like to play? You mean, like, videogames?” Louis asked, unsure of what kind of playtime Carter was talking about. He tried to keep his tone light, but he was confused about what the man was asking. This was a lot different than he thought it’d be.

 

“No need to joke with me little boy, Mr. Carter knows what you want, you’re like all of the other little boys I’ve met, you just need a man to show you what to do, don’t you?”

 

Louis felt distinctly uncomfortable, scared that he finally understood what the man was hinting at. He smiled at him, unsure of what the proper reaction would be. He wanted nothing more than to leave.

 

“Does this sound nice to you? After we eat dinner, we can go back to my place and since you’re being such a good little boy you can suck on Mr. Carter like a bottle and have some of his special milk? Would you like that, I bet you would. I’ve never met a little boy who didn’t.”

 

The little felt tears welling up in his eyes. He had to get out of here, and he had to do it now. This was not what he was looking for, not at all. He slowly grabbed his phone from where it was in his front pocket, and let out a feigned sigh of annoyance.

 

“Sorry, sorry, I have to get this call, it’s from my boss. I’ll be right back.” Carter rolled his eyes in irritation, shooing him off. Louis was pleased with how steady his voice sounded, quickly moving off to the bathroom. By the grace of God himself it was a single stall, allowing him to lock the door, barring anyone from entrance. He started crying and hyperventilating as soon as the door was locked, curling into a ball on the ground. He didn’t know how he was going to get out of here, but he knew that he couldn’t leave with Mr. Carter. He felt like a stupid, stupid baby, not knowing exactly what the man was insinuating he wanted to do with Louis, but he was smart enough to know it was something sexual. Once he felt at least a bit safe, locked in and alone, he felt his mind go fuzzy. Some part of him knew that he was regressing, mind unable to cope with the stressors that the situation was presenting him with. He knew he had to figure a way out of the restaurant, not knowing how young he’d mentally become, it always depended on the situation, and with this one, Louis knew he’d probably not be able to speak coherently soon enough.

 

Working quickly, he called the only person he could think of to get him out of this situation and hoped with everything he had that they’d pick up. With teardrops splattering on his phone screen and hands shaking uncontrollably, he dialed.

 

\---------

“It was so bad, Nick, it was like he didn’t want to even look at me. I’ve never felt so awful, I don’t even know what I did to him.” Harry complained, stabbing his salad with his fork.

 

Nick’s phone started ringing, he let out a small gasp, “Harry, shut up, it’s him.”

 

“Hello,” Nick said casually, eyes quickly widening. His face took on what Harry knew as his daddy face, and the younger man was immediately worried.

 

Nick listened to what the boy on the other line was saying, Harry only being able to hear what sounded like loud cries.

 

“Shh, shhh, love, you’re going to be okay, I promise. Don’t fret, don’t fret, I’m here. Can you tell me where you are?” Nick soothed in a soft voice. He looked at Harry and signed for him to grab the car keys.

 

“You’re at Giuseppe’s? Yeah, I’ll be there in less than five minutes, I promise, getting in the car now lovey. Just keep talking; you’re doing so well, being such a good boy. I’m going to give the phone to Harry now so I can drive, is that okay?”

 

Louis must have given him a positive affirmation, as Nick handed him the phone and started the car. They raced out of their garage and down into central London, only a few miles from their house.

 

“H-harry?” Louis sobbed, voice small.

 

Harry was taken aback by how young Louis sounded, unsure of what had affected the boy so much.

 

“Hiiii Loulou, I’m right here. Nick’s right, you’re such a good boy, and we’ll be there soon to pick you up. Are you doing all right?”

 

Louis shook his head, not remember that the man on the phone couldn’t see it. “No, ‘m scared. Big boy playtime,” he sobbed, unable to get a complete sentence out.

 

Harry tried to keep his breathing steady, wondering what in the hell Louis had gotten himself into.

 

“Oh, love, you don’t have to be scared, okay? Just keep talking to me, Nicky and I will be there very soon. Look, we’re pulling around back now.”

 

“I-I open the door now?” Louis asked.

 

“No! No, don’t open the door. Nicky and I will come through the back and get you. We’ll do a special knock on the door so you know it’s us, okay? We’ll stay on the phone so we can tell you when we’re right outside of the bathroom.”

 

Nick shut the car off, quickly exiting. He frantically gave a half-assed explanation to a chef who was smoking out back, the man opening the door to the kitchen. Thankfully the bathroom was in the same hallways as the kitchen, and no one was waiting to use it.

 

Nick knocked to the tune of Best Song Ever while Harry told spoke into the phone, telling the boy that they were right outside and to unlock the door. The lock clicked, and Harry opened the door cautiously, not wanting to knock the boy in the head if he was sitting right behind it. He opened the door wide enough for him and Nick to slip in, before shutting the door and relocking it. He let out an anguished noise at the sight before him, Louis in a small ball on the ground shaking and crying.

 

Nick rushed to the boy quickly, kneeling next to him and pulling him into an embrace.

 

“I-I want to leave,” Louis cried, hands gripping Nick’s shirt.

 

Nick cooed softly, wanting to ease the boy’s crying before they exited the restroom. “We can leave in just a minute, I promise. Can you tell me who you came here with, do you need to say goodbye?”

 

Louis let out a pained sob, “Don’t wanna say goodbye, don’t make me.”

 

Harry answered quickly, “No no no, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, love.”

 

“Thank you,” Louis choked out, relieved that he wouldn’t have to face the man again.

 

Nick stood up, slowly picking Louis up to stand on his feet. He would’ve had no problem carrying the boy out, but he quickly burrowed his face in his side, cries muffled.

 

Harry unlocked the door, quickly herding the two through the kitchen and back into the car. He hopped into the back seat, Nick lifting Louis into the car and shutting the door behind him. The boy looked disoriented for a moment before suctioning himself to Harry’s side, cries returning in full force now that he was saved.

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Louis cried, repeatedly patting Harry’s thigh with his small hand. Harry softly grabbed his hand, tangling their fingers together. The ride back to Nick and Harry’s home was silent except for Louis’ cries and Harry’s gentle cooing. Nick couldn’t help but look back every few moments, heart simultaneously breaking at Louis’ sadness, and fluttering at the way that he was being so unabashedly affectionate towards his boyfriend.

 

At some point Louis had crawled into Harry’s lap, making himself comfortable there. Harry was torn between the heavenly feeling of Louis’ weight and a pit of sadness at the way that something had happened to the boy to make him upset enough to call Nick and himself. When they arrived back home, Harry picked up a lethargic Louis and put him on his hip with ease. From where his hand was supporting the boy’s bum he could feel the padding of a diaper. Harry was unspeakably proud of the boy for having the confidence to wear protection in public. He carried Louis into the house, kicking the door shut behind him before moving to sit on the couch where Nick was waiting patiently. The jostling seemed to wake Louis up a bit; the boy whining and curling himself back into Harry’s chest. The younger man couldn’t help but think about how Louis was the perfect size for both him and Nick, fitting on their laps with ease.

 

Nick cleared his throat, knowing that there was an important conversation that needed to be had.

 

“Louis, love, are you okay?” Nick asked, starting with the most obvious question on his mind.

 

Louis hiccupped, “I’m scared.”

 

“Can you tell Harry and I why you’re scared? It’s okay to be frightened sometimes, but know that you’re safe at our house, and you’re being very, very brave.”

 

“You’re going to laugh at me,” Louis whispered, voice breaking.

 

“Lou, Nick and I would never laugh at you, okay? Something that scared you this much is nothing to joke about.”

 

“I-I met up with someone from the Quench. It said that we were 100% compatible. He looked nice. I was really nervous when I got there. It started okay, I guess. But then he ordered me beer; he didn’t let me say what I wanted. So I didn’t have anything to drink because, y’know, I don’t like alcohol. Then he ordered my food, but that was okay, he seemed like he really wanted to. I didn’t want to be mean to him.”

 

Nick and Harry’s minds were both racing at the thought of Louis being stuck in such a clearly uncomfortable situation, not having any idea of how to get out of it. The little boy sitting next to them was so sweet that he didn’t speak up to the man, didn’t want to hurt his feelings. They didn’t understand how anyone on this earth had served enough karmic justice to deserve him.

 

Louis continued, “There has t-to be something wrong with me. I know there is. He was just talking and I didn’t really understand? He told me that I was good at playing as a little, that he wanted to take me back to his flat. Have big boy playtime. He- he, ugh-“

 

He broke into a round of fresh tears, Nick and Harry both touching him softly.

 

“Don’t feel like you need to share, it’s okay, Louis,” Nick said, feeling bad over asking questions that so clearly traumatized the little.

 

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that it scared me so much, the way he talked to me. And that I realized I’m not normal. I’m messed up. I thought that maybe someone would want me as a little, and it all came crashing down around me. I’m stupid, so, so stupid. He told me he wanted to have big boy playtime and I asked what he wanted to play and if he had videogames. He told me to stop joking around and told me I could suck on him and have some of his special milk. I don’t even know what he meant,” by this point Louis was whispering, feeling completely defeated, “I’m dumb. He acted like I should know what he meant, that all good boys know what he’s talking about. I have no idea! I know it’s something naughty, though. And I can’t help but think… am I supposed to want that with my daddy? Because I don’t. I just want someone to love me and give me cuddles, I thought that’s what daddies do, but I was wrong. I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid. I haven’t even had my first kiss, a world famous popstar who hasn’t had his first kiss and doesn’t even know what daddies want from little boys.”

 

Louis was silently crying, while Harry and Nick shared a look over his head. They both were upset for the boy, unable to hear him call himself a terrible name again without having a breakdown. And they truly wanted to cry at the boy putting his innocence into words. He was the purest, sweetest, most innocent little boy they’d ever come across, and they had never dreamed of finding a little who was so perfect and lovely.

 

“First off, baby, you need to stop calling yourself mean names. You aren’t stupid; please trust me. You are smart and lovely and wonderful and a perfect little. I wouldn’t lie to you about that. And like Nick told you last week, everyone is different. If you want to have a grownup relationship with your daddy, that’s okay; if you want your daddy to be just a daddy, that’s perfectly normal and okay. That man is not a very good person if he just expected you to want to do grownup activities with him. I’m very proud of you for calling Nick when you were uncomfortable. You did the right thing. No daddy or mommy or any person on this earth should make you feel uncomfortable. An important part of relationships is talking through things, making sure that both you and your dominant are both comfortable. You don’t need to do anything with your daddy that you don’t want to, okay? I want to repeat that it’s completely normal to want a daddy that’s just a daddy. Nick and I aren’t looking to do adult things with our little, we just want someone to love and give cuddles.”

 

Louis looked up at Harry, tears still shining in his blue eyes, “And Taylor is okay with that? She doesn’t want you to do… stuff with her?”

 

Harry looked at him, confused, “What’s Taylor got to do with anything?”

 

Looking at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world, Louis replied, “She’s your little?”

 

Nick and Harry had to swallow their laughter, not wanting Louis to think that they were laughing at him. “She’s not our little, babe.”

 

“But- but… are you sure? She’s perfect for you, the older little girl you said you wanted!”

 

The older man looked to Harry, giving him the chance to explain his stupid hypothetical situation away. Harry sighed, “Louis, that wasn’t the depiction of our ideal little. It was just me giving a hypothetical situation. We don’t want an older little girl, we don’t want a little girl at all.”

 

Nick chimed in, “We want a very little boy who is sweet and full of love. We don’t want him to do grownup stuff with us, we just want to give him all of the cuddles, kisses, and love in the world.”

 

The daddies watched Louis’ reaction to Nick’s words, knowing that this was the moment that they were waiting for. They waited to see if he would take their bait and ask them what they so terribly wanted to be asked. No matter how much they wanted to, they wouldn’t ask him to be their little. The boy was so clearly insecure and scared of rejection that he would say yes to please them, even if he didn’t want to be their little.

 

“When I was crying in the bathroom, I could feel my head going fuzzy. It’s been happening a lot lately. All I could think of was getting help. My fingers kinda dialed without me even thinking. I was scared you wouldn’t pick up,” Louis looked up at Nick, hesitance in his eyes, “but I’m glad you did. When I think about it, I’ve always felt protected by you. Do you remember the time at the bar? You didn’t even know me, and you still helped me.”

 

Nick smiled, thinking of how painfully out of place Louis had looked seated at the bar, “You were trying to order a water, and the bartender thought you were pulling his leg. I’m glad I walked up; you looked so lost and alone. I felt terrible.”

 

“That was the first time I really talked to you. And you helped me. I think I knew that you’d help me tonight. And Hazza, you’ve been there for me more than anyone I’ve ever met. You always give me hugs and love. No one’s ever done that for me. When I’m lying in bed some nights, I let myself think about what it would be like if I really let myself be a little. My mind it always drifts to you two, thinking about what good daddies you’d be. How I’d be lucky if I found someone half as good to me as you two are.”

 

“Would you let us be lucky enough to have the chance to show you what good daddies we can be to you?” Nick asked, stomach clenching in nervousness.

 

Louis looked back at Harry awkwardly because of the way he was sitting on his lap before looking to his left at Nick, the look on his face only able to be described as incredulous.

 

“I’m no good, I’ve told you a buncha times. My hands shake so much I can barely eat, my brain makes it hard for me to think of the words to say, I have to use a diaper, and I don’t even know what big boy playtime is.”

 

“Louis, we’ll tell you until we’re blue in the face that everyone is different. And we want you. Sure, some people want littles who are potty-trained and able to be independent, and that’s good for them. But Harry and I want a little little, for lack of a better term. We want to be there to help you and love you, if you let us. As a part of loving you as much as we do and caring for you as much as we want to, that means respecting your desires and ours. Like I said earlier, we don’t want to do grownup things with our baby, with you. There will never be any big boy playtime; it’s not something we will ever teach you about or talk about, you never have to think about it again. We know that this will be a learning process for all three of us, and we can move as slowly or quickly as you want to.”

 

The little nodded his head, looking between them with a genuine smile on his face. “Okay. I want to try. But don’t feel bad if you find someone else, a better little boy. It’ll be okay, I understand.”

 

Harry kissed the back of Louis’ head, knowing they still had mountains of work to do when it came to building the boy’s confidence up. “We won’t change our minds, we promise.”

 

Louis’ stomach let out a growl, providing the perfect end to the conversation for now.

 

“Looks like it’s time for someone to eat dinner! Is there anything in particular you want?” Harry asked, not moving yet.

 

“Whatever you have is good with me, haven’t had anything besides takeout lately. ‘M scared to cook anything with the way my hands have been shaking, I’m sure you remember me cutting my hand,” Louis said sheepishly.

 

“I’m sure we can whip something up, but first, do you need a change?” Harry asked, able to feel the weight of Louis’ wet diaper from where he was perched on his legs.

 

Louis blushed, nodding his head minutely, “I don’t have anything with me, I kinda forgot to bring any spares to the restaurant.”

 

Luckily Nick and Harry were extremely hopeful people as well as prepared.

 

“Harry and I bought a pack or two in case you ever ended up coming here.” Louis blushed, feeling warm at the thought of the men going out to buy something just for him, even if it was just diapers.

 

“Ready to go?” Harry asked, patting out a rhythm on the little’s thighs. Louis stood up, waiting for the men to guide him wherever the diapers were.

 

Harry couldn’t help himself, grabbing Louis’ little hand and walking him up the stairs. As they were about to embark upstairs, Louis stopped, sure that his decision was the correct one.

 

“Nick… if you want to come upstairs you can. I-I’m okay with you changing me. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I trust you. I know you won’t make fun of me.”

 

The man in question walked to Louis, giving the boy a kiss on top of his head. “Thank you, love, that means a lot to me. I’d be happy to change you any time you want.”

 

Louis was reminded of how much he loved Harry and Nick’s house every time he was over, loving the leather furniture and spacious rooms. Upstairs, he couldn’t help but take a peek at the two empty rooms that he knew Nick and Harry were saving for their little’s room and their playroom. There was a feeling of ridiculous happiness that entered him, and he hoped it wouldn’t leave for a long, long time. They stopped once in Nick and Harry’s room, the younger man laying out a towel on the floor for Louis to lie on. Their room was a pale blue color, huge windows lining the windows and a huge bed with a fluffy, white duvet dominating the space.

 

The little lifted a shaky hand to the button of his jeans to attempt to undo them, but Harry helped him and popped them open easily. The boy let out a moan of relief as the jeans were pushed down his legs and off of his body, relieved to no longer be in such uncomfortable material.

 

Harry clucked his tongue in sympathy, “We’ll have to find you some more comfortable trousers, huh?” Louis nodded in agreeance.

 

He laid back as Nick reentered the room with changing supplies, dressed only in his sweater and a diaper.

 

“Sorry for not having a proper changing pad, we’ll have to go shopping for a lot of new things. Would you like that?”

 

Louis blushed, trying to focus on the conversation instead of the fact that Nick Grimshaw was ripping the tabs of a wet diaper that he was wearing open.

 

“You don’t have to buy me anything, really,” Louis answered.

 

Harry made an affronted sound, “Of course we do! We have two big rooms in our house saved just for you, if, you know, you want them. You don’t have to move in here just yet, but when you want to you can.”

 

“Okay, Hazza, whatever makes you happy. I trust you both, you can paint and pick out whatever you want, ‘m not picky, you know that.” Harry smiled, happy to have won that small battle.

 

“You know the best part about having two daddies?” Harry asked, watching fondly as his boyfriend gently cleaned the little- their little. Louis shook his head, egging Harry on. “One of them gets to give you tickles while you’re getting changed!” Harry rucked Louis’ shirt up, tickling all over the boy’s stomach. Louis let out a peal of giggles, the sound heavenly to both Nick and Harry’s ears.

 

“All done!” Nick exclaimed, checking to make sure the diaper was just right, “Let’s get you changed, I’m sure that sweater isn’t very comfy.”

 

Nick made to clean up the little mess and wash his hands while Harry took Louis over to a set of their drawers, picking out a big t-shirt of Nick’s for the boy to wear after he said he didn’t want to wear pajama pants. Despite the way that it was pitch black outside, he was surprised when he saw a bedside clock that read that it was 10:30pm.

 

Louis couldn’t help but be a bit uncomfortable with all of this, sitting as Harry and Nick insisted on making his dinner. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way that they answered him so simply, telling him that it was their job to do things for him, that they wanted to take care of him. It was a concept that was so new to him, he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to take care of him, but he wouldn’t complain. They seemed genuinely happy to be making grilled cheese for him, floating around each other and throwing him happy smiles. It would take him a while to get used to being fawned over; he actually wasn’t sure if he’d ever be okay with it.

 

One thing that had always struck him about Harry was how thoughtful he was. The way that he would sign to a fan if he saw that they were deaf, how he would bend down and make a disabled fan feel like they were a million bucks, it was the little things. And it seemed as though it wasn’t just Harry who was unbelievably thoughtful, it was Nick as well. Nick brought him a glass of milk to the table, a straw inside the cup, “so he didn’t have to pick it up and have it spill”. Louis was grateful for the kindness.

 

The men had eaten dinner earlier, but they sat with Louis while he ate grilled cheese, talking to each other and telling silly stories that made Louis laugh. He realized that he may not feel completely comfortable with the dynamics of a daddy/ little relationship, but he was at ease with Harry and Nick, and that was a start.

 

It didn’t go unnoticed that Louis’ head was bobbing sleepily by the time he was finishing up his sandwich, eyes barely able to stay open. Harry had always assumed that Louis went to sleep early because he liked to sleep, but now he realized it was because his headspace was so young. An earlier bedtime was definitely something that he and Nick would enforce, wanting Louis to be as healthy and alert as possible.

 

“Looks like it’s bedtime for you, love,” Nick said, chair squeaking as he pushed it back to stand up. He walked over to Louis, grabbing the boy whose head was now resting on the edge of the table and picking him up. The boy was light, Nick able to easily lift him on his hip, Louis’ head fitting perfectly against his shoulder. He walked upstairs slowly, not wanting to jostle the sleeping boy. Harry moved ahead of him, making sure the guest bedroom was set up and the sheets were drawn back. Entering the guest room, he placed Louis down on the bed, making sure he was lying comfortably before pulling up the sheets.

 

“Goodnight Loulou,” Harry whispered, he and Nick leaning over at the same time to press kisses on the boy’s cheeks. Louis lethargically lifted his arms, softly patting the men’s shoulders, making them chuckle.

 

“G’night,” Louis mumbled, falling asleep as the daddies watched from the doorframe.

 

Once in their room, Harry pulled Nick in for an enthusiastic kiss, squeezing him tightly. This was it; he was finally their little boy. They knew it would be a long road of recovery for Louis, and that it would take a while for them to get him comfortable with who he was, but they were ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there we are!!!! the foundation is being laid. the story is now officially started, we've a long way to go! 
> 
> as usual- please comment!! nothing makes me happier than comments, that's honestly the reason that I even worked on this chapter (that I was supposed to have up next week) as quickly as I did! 
> 
> Now, I truly won't have the next chapter up for a few days! sit tight, I'll be back soon with more for you! I hope you have a marvelous week!
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are!! I don't know how I wrote this chapter as quickly as I did while having so much going on, but... here it is. 
> 
> I created a twitter: @needaherofic so you can follow (and I'll follow back) if you want to dm/tweet/talk about anything regarding the fic or life in general!! I'll be posting pictures, updates, and answering any questions you may have!

Nick and Harry’s excitement level was just about out of this universe when they woke up the next morning. It was as though it was Christmas morning or their life had just began. You understand, don’t you? Everything that their life had been leading up to had finally come together; their purpose in life was now defined, it was Louis. They finally had someone to love and protect and fawn over, and they couldn’t wait to do it.

 

But not now. Now was not the time to jump straight into things, even if they wanted to. As good daddies, they realized that that was not what he needed, even if it was what they wanted. They needed to get him comfortable within his classification. They needed to make him believe that he was a good boy, the beset boy in the world, even. It would take time, and they had all of the time in the world, thankfully. They had 4 weeks until the boys left on tour again, and they hoped it would be enough.

 

After brushing their teeth and dressing for the day, the men grabbed a pair of sweats and sweater from their drawers for Louis to wear. It was funny, the way that domesticity had changed the way that they thought of property. It was no longer Harry’s clothes or Nick’s blanket; everything was theirs to share. The men were ridiculously excited to take Louis shopping, already planning out exactly what clothes they wanted to get him and how full to the brim his playroom would be. They could already picture themselves bragging to their friends about how they had the most spoiled little boy in the universe.

 

The sight that met them as they entered the guest room was almost too much for them to handle; Louis looking tiny in the center of the bed with his thumb tucked into his mouth. There was no doubt in their minds that he was the cutest little boy on the face of the earth. The daddies quietly made their way over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it, Nick putting his hand under the duvet so he could softly rub the boy’s back.

 

“Good morning, Lou, are you ready to wake up?” Harry asked. They were surprised at how quickly Louis woke up, a soft blush on his face as he realized he had his thumb in his mouth, but he made no move to remove it. A small step forward, Nick thought, but it was a good start.

 

“Let’s get you up and get some breakfast into your tummy!” Nick exclaimed. Louis had a hard time not loving the happy and enthusiastic voices that the daddies seemed to have started talking to him in. The way that they talked made him feel special, like they were happy to talk to him and wanted to make him feel as joyful as possible.

 

Louis sat up, wincing as he felt his sodden diaper. He couldn’t help but fear that the men would look down at it as he got out of the bed, deciding that they couldn’t take it anymore. He wouldn’t blame them; having to change his diapers was not what they signed up for, was it?

 

Ever the perceptive men, Nick and Harry could almost hear what Louis was thinking. They decided to stop the negative thoughts before they could overtake his mind.

 

“Do you need a change?” Nick asked.

 

Louis nodded minutely before answering, “If you just give me the stuff to change it I can do it in here.”

 

Harry let out a soft sigh; he was beginning to realize that they had their work cut out for them, but he knew that they would be able to succeed eventually.

 

“Louis, love, when we agreed to be your daddies that means that we want to help you. Helping you means changing you and doing whatever else you need.”

 

“Why would you want to do that? It doesn’t make sense,” Louis asked, confusion etched on his face.

 

“Because, as your daddies, we are here to love you and make sure you’re comfortable and healthy all hours of the day, everyday of the week. We pinky promise.” Louis let out a giggle as Harry held out his pinky to him. The little felt a bit better now, knowing that Harry pinky promised him. Pinky promises were a sacred bond of truth, and everyone knew it.

 

After being changed and put into comfy clothes, the men took Louis downstairs to start breakfast. Harry was originally going to just get some toast and fruit together, but completely switched his game plan up after seeing Louis in only a diaper. He wanted to hit himself, wondering how he’d never noticed how frail the boy was. Louis had always been a thin little thing, but he looked like he’d fly away with the slightest gust of wind. Harry took it as his duty to get a little fat on Louis’ body, getting the boy back to a healthy state. He made a mental note to get some formula when they went shopping, knowing that it would help the boy gain some weight.

 

Louis’ eyebrows were sky high when he saw the pancakes that Harry had made, his stack being decorated to look like a smiley face with a whipped cream smile, chocolate chip eyes, and a strawberry smile. Harry grinned at the boy proudly while Nick rolled his eyes at his endearing boyfriend.

 

The little exclaimed his thanks before tapping on Nick who was seated next to him, asking shyly if he’d cut his pancakes. Louis was terrified to come anywhere close to a knife after he’d cut his palm and figured if the men really wanted to help him out, then he’d better start getting used to it.

 

Nick cut the boy’s pancakes carefully into small pieces while asking Louis some questions.

 

Louis wasn’t sure how the men would handle everything regarding Louis’ past, but it seemed as though they were going to be as honest and forward as their normally were. He thought that it would make him uncomfortable, but he felt calm as he answered their questions, only the slightest bit anxious. He knew deep down inside of him that the men only wanted what was best for him, but knowing it and actually being okay with it were two completely different things.

 

“I know you talked about it a bit last night, love, but just so Harry and I know, can you tell us what kind of things you’ve been seeing happen to your body over time? I don’t mean to sound like a doctor, we just want to know how we can be there and how regressed your body already is. You don’t have to deal with anything alone anymore, we’re here to help.”

 

The little watched as Nick cut his stack of pancakes, excited to have a real breakfast after years of forgetting to eat the most important meal of the day.

 

“I guess everything kinda goes wrong once in a while, if that makes sense? It’s ‘mbarrassing, I looked online at a chart once of indicators of how you can tell how little you’re gonna regress to, and they put me in the lowest age category. My hands have been pretty tough to use lately, it’s like I’ll be at a signing and my name just won’t come out. Or I’ll use a knife and cut myself. Can’t hold a fork. I don’t know when I’m going to the bathroom, like, ever. I think that’s the worst part of it. Cuz I just keep thinking, it’s gonna happen when someone else is around and they’ll be able to tell or see it. And a lot of other stuff too, but those two are the big things I think I’ve noticed.”

 

“Thank you for being so honest, Loulou,” Harry said sincerely, “Would you like me to feed you, would that make things a bit easier? I’d love to.”

 

Louis couldn’t help but look to Harry’s face, wanting to make sure there was no malicious intent behind his words before accepting his offer. All he saw was the same lovely Harry that was always there and waiting to help him in any way possible. He nodded shyly, unable to stop smiling at the way Harry clapped his hands together, seemingly overjoyed at the prospect of helping Louis eat. He dragged the plate over from where Nick had it, getting a bite ready on the prongs of a fork.

 

“You can eat first, Hazza, I don’t mind,” Louis said, unsure of why the man would feed him before eating the breakfast that he had cooked.

 

“Oh, Lou, you’re too sweet, aren’t you? Nick and I will tell you over and over and over; you come first and we love putting you first. That’s how things will always be, okay?”

 

Louis nodded, opening his mouth as Harry brought the first bite to his lips. He made a happy noise, always thrilled at the prospect of eating Harry’s food. He found himself enjoying being fed, the feeling of someone taking care of him allowing him to relax and just enjoy the food that was entering his body. As his plate was clearing, he started to panic a bit, wondering what he was supposed to do afterwards. Did they want him to leave? When would he see them again?

 

His questions were answered when Nick stood up to grab something from one of their drawers, coming back to sit down with a pen and notepad in hand.

 

“All righty, while Harry eats we can get to the fun stuff. Unless you had plans today?” Nick asked, looking at Louis who shook his head in answering.

 

“Perfect! Are you ready to do some shopping? You can stay over as much or as little as you want, of course, but we want your room and playroom to be exactly how you want them to be. Sound good? Before we get to the shopping fun, we just want to make up some rules so that we’re all on the same page.”

 

The little couldn’t help the sheer panic that overtook him, mind flashing scenes of fans taking pictures of the three men inside of Baby, Baby and his secret getting out. He was torn between telling Nick and Harry he didn’t need anything and realizing how completely ungrateful that sounded. He should’ve counted on Nick and Harry to read him better than that, though.

 

“What’s wrong? We don’t have to go shopping if you think it’s too soon, don’t worry, love.” Nick said, feeling like shit at moving too quickly. He thought that taking the boy shopping was the right move, helping Nick and Harry’s home become their home in his mind.

 

“No,” Louis said, unable to stop the tears from pouring down, “I want to go shopping. Want to so badly. I-I just don’t want anyone to see me. Baby, Baby is always crowded.”

 

Nick felt stupid for not realizing that the boy would be worried about being seen in public and expanded on his earlier statement. “Oh no no no, Lou, we aren’t going to that store. I’m sure it’s nice and all, but we’ve some celebrity perks. Ever heard of YSL? Not Harry’s favorite clothing brand, of course, but the classification store.”

 

Louis nodded vigorously, feeling silly for not realizing that they wouldn’t go to the store that the rest of the population went to. YSL, or Your Sweet Little, was a celebrity only store for littles and their parents. The store was housed in a warehouse, cars being parked inside of an adjacent warehouse so that paparazzi couldn’t get photos. Due to the exclusivity of the store, Louis had never seen any pictures of it, but had heard of their high end products, and how they had anything that a little could ever dream of. It paid to be famous, sometimes, Louis thought.

 

“Okay, okay. That makes me feel better. I just- I didn’t want anyone to see.”

 

Harry nodded in understanding, finishing his bite of food before answering, “We foresaw that, since it’s Saturday and the store is closed, we called a bit of a favor in to get them to open up for us. It’ll just be us in there along with a few employees, nothing to worry about, okay?”

 

Louis was finding himself very grateful to have such thoughtful d-doms, he wish he knew what he did in a past life to deserve them in his life.

 

“We’ll get to shopping in a bit, but for now I thought we could all discuss some rules that we thought would be prudent to have. Sound good to everyone?” Harry and Louis nodded at Nick’s words, waiting for him to start throwing some rules out.

 

“First and most importantly is safety. Whenever you are feeling unsafe or uncomfortable in a situation, let Harry or I know immediately. This can be when you’re over here, when we’re in public, when you’re alone, even when you’re on stage. Any time you’re scared, sad, mad, anything at all, just let us know and we’ll do what we can to help. We understand that you’ve spent the last few years doing this alone, but you don’t have to be alone any longer. It sounds sappy, I know, but your pain is our pain. We want to be there for you, but in order to do that, we need to know what’s going on in your head. Sound fair?”

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Second is honesty. We know that this is going to be hard for you because it’s so new to you and you’ve never really had to talk to anyone about how you feel or what you want before. But we need you to be honest with us so that we can make sure you’re healthy and happy. That includes telling us when you go in your diaper, even when you’re embarrassed, just know that we are so proud of you for being so brave.”

 

Harry cut in, sensing that Nick was done with his explanation of the rule, “And part of this that I think we’ll have to deal with as we go is being in the band. We only have 15 more shows, ever, if what I’m hearing is true. Regardless, we have a few more weeks of rehearsals and then the shows. I know that you’ve been going through this alone for the past few years and have done a fair job of getting by, but things are going to be different now. Your body can tell when you’re getting affection and being cared for in the way a little needs and it allows itself to regress more. This means that your emotions, food tastes, speech patterns, and a lot of other parts of you are going to change. I know that this is very scary, but Nick and I will be there for you through everything. You just need to let us know what you need, okay? Especially when it comes to One Direction stuff, because we both know how intense it is.”

 

“I’m scared,” Louis said quietly, giving the men the honesty that they had requested.

 

The daddies cooed, Harry picking Louis up out of his chair and putting him on his lap. Louis curled up onto the man’s legs, trying to block out the embarrassment he felt of getting the comfort he needed.

 

“We know how scary it is, honey, but we are going to be there to do whatever we can to make it less scary,” Nick moved into the chair that Louis had vacated, now close enough to rub his fingers across the little’s soft cheek.

 

Louis gave him a smile that didn’t show that he quite believed him, indicating to Nick that he could go on. There would be time for them to gain Louis’ trust, and he knew that they’d do it.

 

“Those are the two big rules, but there are other little ones. You need to respect Harry and I as your daddies; everything we do and say will be in your best interest and we need you to trust us. Whether or not you’re staying over, you will have a nap every day and a bedtime. These times will depend on whether or not you have a show, but they are nonnegotiable. They’re for you to stay safe and healthy, not to be mean and strict. If you break one of your rules then you’ll be punished. Harry and I both know how good you are, and don’t want to have to punish you, but we are laying this out just in case. Let me write the rules out and you can read them over, let me know if you want anything added or changed, okay?”

 

The table sat in silence except for the sound of Nick writing out the rules, Louis trying his best to remain patient. He’d always had a hard time waiting for people; it was probably the worst part of his job, if he was honest. He was always waiting for another interviewer, the encore to start, the meet and greet to finish, there was always two more minutes, five more minutes, too many more minutes.

 

Nick slid the rules over, Harry peeking around Louis’ shoulder to look at them:

 

House Rules:

  1.      Louis will be safe at all times
  2.      All members of the household will always be honest with each other
  3.      Louis will let his daddies know if he needs anything at any time (even over text)
  4.      Louis will tell his daddies when he needs to be changed
  5.      Louis will nap one time a day
  6.      Louis will go to bed when he is told
  7.      Louis will respect his daddies and listen to what they have to say
  8.      If Louis is being punished, there will be a conversation before it happens
  9.      First punishment/small offense: 15 minutes of corner time
  10.      Second punishment/big offense: spanking (number of spanks decided while talking before punishment)



Nick and Harry finished up reading the rules before Louis did, patiently waiting as he scanned the page. He cleared his throat when he was done reading, starting to talk.

 

“I want to be honest with you, but I can’t tell you everything. Not yet. It’s hard for me to talk about some of it, yeah? When I was 16 and just about to leave for the show, I started wetting m’bed. I couldn’t help it. And my mom would get so angry with me; she’d just hit me over and over again. She told me she always knew I was a baby and that I wasn’t the man that she wanted as a son. It hurt, you know? I tried so hard to make her love me like I wanted her to. I still do. I pay almost all of her bills, I bought her a new house, but she still doesn’t even want to look at me. Every time I mess up I think of her and how she’d hurt me if I was still home.”

 

There was a strong desire to kill Louis’ mother that was shared between both of the daddies, but that could wait.

 

“I hope you know that hitting someone, especially someone you love, is never all right. Spanking is very different than hitting, especially the kind of spanking that we as daddies do. You’ll see, if you ever do something naughty, that it makes you feel a lot better. But we don’t have to worry about that now. We can get back to it if the time ever comes, but if you really don’t want a spanking, we can talk about an alternative. Thank you for being honest with us, sweetheart, you’re already following the rules like such a good boy,” Nick said, smiling at their perfect boy. He couldn’t understand how anyone had ever mistreated him, made him think that being who he was was something so shameful. He was proud of Louis for starting to share some of his backstory, what made him the way he was.

 

“Thank you. I’m not scared of you, I know you won’t hurt me,” Louis said, voice steady.

 

“I know we keep saying it over and over again, but thank you for trusting us. Next comes the part where we will need your honesty. Nothing you say will be judged; we aren’t going to laugh at you or think what you want or need is funny, okay?”

 

Not really sure what Nick was talking about, Louis nodded. Harry shifted from under him before suggesting that they move into the living room. They leave the dishes there, content to clean them up later. Once settled into the couch, Louis snuggled up between the two men under a soft blanket, Nick picked up the previous conversation.

 

“So now that we have our rules picked out, I want to get back to what I was talking about earlier. I have YSL rented out for the afternoon, and thought that we could head over there. I want to make a list up of everything that you’re thinking of so that we don’t forget anything, okay? Would you rather you tell me what you want, or would you like me to write a list of a lot of items and you can circle what you want and add what I don’t have on there?”

 

“Can I circle? Don’t wanna say anything out loud, it’s embarrassing,” Louis said. Harry cooed at the boy’s voice, loving how high and sweet it was.

 

Nick quickly finished up writing a long list on the notepad, handing it over to Louis along with a pen.

 

“Like I said, no embarrassment here. We’re going to go tidy up the kitchen, just give us a shout if you have any questions or need anything.”

 

Louis looked down at the list quickly before shutting his eyes. This really was it, he thought. He could lie to them and tell Nick and Harry that he didn’t want what he really wanted. He could continue lying to himself, and the men. He couldn’t lie though, could he? He promised them that he’d be honest; it was one of his rules, wasn’t it? It was. He couldn’t lie. He was finally through with lying, he could be happy. Nick and Harry wanted him to be himself and finally be happy. He’d be honest.

 

Looking at the list, he began to circle items. His cheeks burned the whole time, unable to not be ashamed both at what he wanted and what he knew he needed. He finished up; double-checking the list before calling out that he was finished. He let out a small yawn, feeling more and more sleepy as the minutes passed. It’d been a draining morning, finally talking about the one part of him that he tried to never bring up.

 

Harry walked into the room as the boy was yawning, “Someone’s sleepy! How about a little nap on the way the YSL? It takes about an hour to get there, does that sound good?” Louis nodded, starting to stand up.

 

 “Do you need a change?” Harry asked, causing Louis to shake his head. He was wet, very wet, actually, but didn’t want the man to know. He was embarrassed, it had been only four hours since he was changed, and he was already going? He knew that they said they didn’t care if he went to the bathroom, but he couldn’t quite believe it just yet. Harry knew he needed to make a point so that Louis would tell them when he went. He walked over to the small boy, pulling his sweatpants down enough so he could stick his finger in the side of the little’s diaper.

 

“Stop!” Louis squeaked, face turning red in mortification.

 

Harry was pretty sure that Louis would never lie to them again about going. He swung one arm under Louis’ knees, using the other to brace his back. He swooped the boy up into a cradle and started walking him up the stairs, placing kisses all over his face.

 

“I thought you weren’t wet, hmmmm?” Harry said in between kisses, voice light. Louis giggling tiredly at Harry’s voice and kisses.

 

The second that Louis was bucked into the car, blanket over his lap and pillow wedged between his head and the door, he fell asleep.

 

Once they were sure he was asleep, Harry began to peruse the list that Nick had given the boy, both men anxious to see what he had circled. They were both pleased and surprised with his answers, pleased that he had been so honest, and shocked at the confirmation that he felt as though he was regressing as young as he was. Harry thought back to their conversation just a week prior, how he had fawned over the thought of having a little, little boy. Now, as he looked at what items Louis had circled, he realized that his dream was becoming reality.

 

After a bit of direction trouble, the men finally made it to the warehouse. Once outside they pressed an intercom button, announcing to the woman on the other side that they had arrived. The large door of the warehouse started to raise open; just enough to let the car through to the well lit parking structure inside. They had fairly few friends with littles in the UK, but the ones that they did have had nothing but amazing things to say about the store and its confidentiality policy. Harry woke Louis up gently, the boy letting out the sweetest yawn as he came to. Once parked as close as the car could get to the front door of the store, the men got out of the car. Nick opened Louis’ door, quickly grabbing the pillow before it could fall to the ground. He undid Louis’ seatbelt, offering the boy a hand as he hopped out of the car.

 

“Nervous,” Louis said, pushing his head into Nick’s side.

 

“It’s okay to be nervous, but I promise that everything will be okay. There are only a few workers here and no people shopping. They know that you’re scared and won’t do anything to embarrass you or scare you, and if they do just let Harry and I know, okay?”

 

 Louis nodded into his chest, pleased with the man’s explanation. Harry joined them on the other side of the car, smile on his face and a black bag hefted onto his shoulder. They headed to the front door of the store, opening it. The little couldn’t help but peek his head out of where it was still tucked into Nick’s side and let out a gasp at what he saw. It was the biggest space he’d ever seen, the walls of the warehouse painted a light green and there must have been hundreds of rows of merchandise. Louis had never seen so much stuff in his entire life.

 

“Hello! Welcome to Your Sweet Little, my name is Roseanne, I’m the United Kingdom YSL store director” a cheery, middle-aged woman said as she walked up to them. She was dressed in black jeans and a purple sweater, looking sophisticated. She had a warm smile on her face; having been in charge of the store for 15 years now, she was used to dealing with cases of shy littles. She gauged the situation, understanding that the boy wasn’t used to new people, and did her best not to make him uncomfortable. Her professional side was the one that she showed, a product of the years of experience under her belt, but she couldn’t help but be a bit surprised when she heard who was coming in today. She had been telling her girlfriends that she thought the boy was a little since she first saw him on the Xfactor, always receiving laughs in reply. She couldn’t help but feel a bit smug knowing she was right, but would never tell anyone. She knew how delicate such a situation was. She gave him a small smile when she saw him peeking out at her, but made no move to acknowledge him. The daddies were grateful.

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Harry said, offering his hand to her in greeting before Nick did the same.

 

“You as well, we’re quite happy to have you with us today. I’m in the store as well as one of our longtime managers, Suzanne. We’ll let you explore, feel free to check out anything that is of interest to you. There are phones placed at the end of every aisle, so if you are in need of assistance just dial away. I’ll give you a notepad to place in your cart, and on there you can write the call numbers of any big items you may want, such as a crib or a highchair. We will have those packed and delivered to you within three days, and once delivered our team will set them up for your convenience. We also do offer a painting service, if you’re in need of a painter that will work under discretion. That’s enough of me talking for now, I think, enjoy! Let Suzanne or I know if you need anything.”

 

The daddies thanked her, smiling before walking away. Louis stood up straight when he felt as though he was safe from strange eyes, finally being able to take in the store for all it was worth. He couldn’t believe that it was so big; he wondered how anyone could ever go there and not get lost. The men had grabbed big shopping carts, Harry throwing the bag that he had brought in in the front of his.

 

“You want to hop in, or do you want to walk?” Nick asked, Louis noticing the foldable plastic flap that was in the cart that could be used as a seat.

 

“Want to walk,” Louis said, moving close to Harry’s side. His mind was feeling a bit fuzzy, his mind repeating Nick, Harry, Nick, Harry over and over again. He couldn’t be embarrassed by the clinginess he felt if he didn’t let himself be, right? He was trying to just not think about it, to do what he wanted to do without letting his mind talk him out of it.

 

“All righty then, let’s get some goodies for our sweet boy!” Harry exclaimed. Louis felt an excited flutter in his stomach at Harry’s use of our, the first time that the men had openly exclaimed that Louis was theirs. He loved it.

 

Louis usually hated shopping, but he couldn’t find it in himself to hate this place. He wasn’t sure what would be down each of the many aisles, but he was excited to see. They moved to the first aisle, finding rows and rows of crib sheets, bed sheets, blankets, and curtains. They were placed into sets, the store having placed each item together based on the design. There were tons of designs, everything from My Little Pony to dogs to Elmo. The little looked in wonder, slowly walking up and down the aisle as he tried to figure out which design he wanted.

 

The daddies walked over to where the Avengers set was placed, figuring that was what the boy would want. They looked at Louis to see that he was staring in reverence at a set covered in cute cartoon animals on a dark blue background. They were surprised to see that he would want a set that would be considered infantile by most, but happy that he felt as though he could be honest with what he wanted.

 

“Do you like these ones, love?”

 

Louis nodded, trying to hide his excitement under a veil of nonchalance (failing miserably), “yeah, they’re okay… Can I get them?”

 

“Anything you want Loulou,” Harry said, “You’re still okay with what you put on the list? No changing your mind?”

 

Louis shook his head, blushing slightly as Harry picked up the crib sheet. He also grabbed the matching blanket, and a set of white curtains.

 

“Next aisle!” Nick sang. Walking down the next aisle, Louis felt overwhelmed. There were hundreds of pacifiers, bottles, and sippy cups lining the walls on both sides of him. His breathing picked up slightly, feeling like he was going to cry for what he thought was dumbest reason in the world. He couldn’t help but tear up as he looked at the myriad pacifiers, thinking of all of the times where he was so close to ordering one, but clicked out of the web page at the last second, scared. Or the times where he would stick his thumb in his mouth for comfort, having nothing else to soothe his restless mind. A hand gently touched his shoulder, Louis looking up to Harry who was now next to him, tears shining in his eyes.

 

“We can leave this aisle, love, we don’t want anything to upset you.”

 

“No,” Louis sobbed, “I really want it.”

 

Harry and Nick both cooed, wanting to soothe their overwhelmed boy.

 

“You can have whatever you want, we’ll buy you the whole store if it’ll make you happy,” Nick said honestly.

 

At that point Louis wasn’t even listening, mesmerized by the display of pacifiers. His fingers traced over the plastic cases of the items, leaving them slowly swinging side by side in the wake of his touch. He grabbed a case that held two, one decorated to look like Captain America’s shield, the other like Iron Man’s mask; then he grabbed one that looked like a dog, then one that was plain blue. He grabbed until his hands were full, looking back at Nick whose arms were just as full with sippy cups, and Harry’s full to the brim with bottles. They all laughed, tossing the items into the two carts.

 

They continued through the aisles, buying bibs, onesies, footie pajamas, clothes, and toys. Louis was feeling completely overwhelmed, carts getting more and more full. At one point they had to take their carts up to the front of the store, exchanging them for empty carts. He knew that Harry’s Range Rover would be full to the brim when they left the store.

 

His feet were dragging by the time they had a few aisles left, still denying the daddies askance of whether or not he wanted to sit in the cart. It was too soon for him to do something like that, he thought. Baby steps, no pun intended. By this point, Louis shouldn’t have been surprised by the ridiculousness of the pull-up and diaper selection that the store had. The men entered the aisle, seeing a woman that must have been Suzanne standing there waiting to greet them. Louis moved quickly to stand behind Nick, wary of a new person.

 

“Hello! My name is Suzanne. I know that diaper and pull-up shopping can be a bit tricky, so I just wanted to offer my help in case you needed it.”

 

Harry, of course, answered that they’d love her help much to Louis’ irritation. He was already playing the role of the embarrassing dad quite well, Louis mused.

 

“All right! So, I guess we’ll start with the easy questions- what are you looking for, diapers or pull-ups?”

 

“Diapers,” Nick answered. Louis gripped the back of his shirt, digging his face into Nick’s back as if he could burrow himself into the man’s body.

 

“Perfect, we can just step this way then and I can tell you a bit about what we have. There are a ton of different types of diapers depending on the time of day and the level of protection he needs.”

 

Louis was growing more and more annoyed and tired with every second that they were standing there, letting out little frustrated noises every few moments. He didn’t understand what took so long to talk about stupid diapers and how Nick and Harry were interested in something that was so boring. He wasn’t getting a reaction out of Nick as he pulled tighter and tighter on his shirt, so he moved over to Harry.

 

The man acted as though he didn’t feel Louis standing behind him, resting his head on his lower back. Louis felt irrationally upset at that, letting out a frustrated, “Hazza!”

 

Harry shushed him gently, absentmindedly reaching an arm back to pet his hair. Louis couldn’t help his reaction, stomping his foot and exclaiming, “Hazza! I’m tired and bored, can we please leave?”

 

Recognizing the signs of an impending tantrum, Harry apologized to Suzanne, who easily waved him off, seeing this every day she came into work. The man picked Louis up, easily putting him on his hip.

 

“There we go love, daddy will take you to the car now. I’m sure you’re sleepy, it’s been a long day, hasn’t it?” Harry gently bounced the boy on his hip, moving him to the front of the store. Louis had stopped listening to what Harry was saying after he said the word daddy, the little mulling it over in his mind. He truthfully hadn’t thought that much of what he would call Nick and Harry, but now that Harry brought it up, daddy did fit him quite well. Lost in thought, he was confused when they entered a room that had light yellow walls. It was lined with stalls like a bathroom would be, but instead of toilets there were changing tables inside of the private areas.

            “Let’s get you changed before we go home, then we can get you all cozy in your new car seat and wait for Nicky to finish up. Sound good?” Louis nodded, blushing as he was laid down on the changing table. Harry took a diaper out of the black bag that he’d brought from home, Louis shocked at how prepared he was. He would never really get over how prepared the men were and how thoughtful they were regarding every aspect of taking care of him.

 

Louis’ thoughts caught up with him as Harry was cleaning him off, trying to keep his mind off what the man was doing, “we didn’t pick out a car seat, though?”

 

“It was supposed to be a surprise- they have some talented designers here, and when Nicky called yesterday to make our appointment we asked if they could fix something up for us. I think you’ll really like it.”

 

Louis was excited at the prospect of a surprise; he liked surprises, and he never got them growing up. It was nice to be cared for, he thought idly. Harry finished changing him, pulling his sweats back up before picking up the boy and placing him back on his hip. Walking to the front of the store where Roseanne was standing behind the register with a smile.

 

“Someone sleepy?” she asked sympathetically, letting out a small laugh as Louis hid his face in Harry’s neck. Harry patted the boy’s diapered bum lightly, always endeared by his shyness.

 

“Yeah, we’re ready to head out to sit in the car while Nick finishes up. I was wondering if you had the car seat ready?”

 

“Oh, yes! I do have to say it looks fantastic, what a great idea!”

 

Louis removed his head from Harry’s neck as he heard the woman rustling around behind the register, bending down to pick something up.

 

She placed a Louis-sized car seat down in front of them. Although it didn’t look like a car seat, the color of the material Spiderman red with his face stitched onto the back of the seat. The straps of the seat were made to look like webs. It was the coolest thing that Louis had ever seen, if he were being honest.

 

“Do you like it, Lou?” Harry asked. Louis nodded, still staring at the item. “Can you say thank you?”

 

Louis took in a deep breath, unable to look at the woman as he whispered a quick, “thank you”.

 

She smiled, charmed by the sweet boybander and his extreme shyness. “No problem, sweetheart, I’ll let the people who made it know how much you like it! Would you like me to help set it up in the car? I know it can be a bit tricky”

 

Harry nodded, the woman heading out to the car before them. Louis couldn’t feel embarrassed as he was placed inside of the car seat, feeling more excited than anything. He could admit that a car seat was something that he always fantasized about having, being strapped in tight and unable to wobble around the car as he napped. And a car seat that was disguised to look like Spiderman? It couldn’t get any better than that.

 

Louis was out like a light within minutes, Harry unable to stop smiling at the sight that their boy made, thumb tucked into his mouth, snuggled up into his car seat.

 

He made sure to text Nick a reminder as to the dark wood furniture that he wanted, scared that the man would forget. Of course, being the wonderful person that Nick was, he replied telling Harry that he could never forget, and that he’d be out soon. Seeing Nick and the two women who worked at the store struggling to push out the four shopping carts, Harry quietly opened his door to help them. Somehow they fit everything into their trunk, and they were off to their house. Between obvious stares at Louis sleeping in his car seat, Nick let Harry know that the boy’s furniture would arrive in two days, and that he had set up a painter to come the next afternoon.

 

Harry couldn’t help but think that things were too perfect. He was content living in his little bubble, happy to keep Louis inside of their house, all to him and Nick’s selves. He knew that it couldn’t last forever, but at least it could for a little bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to just address a few things!!:
> 
> 1\. this story is nonsexual age play and the relationship that exists between Harry/Louis/Nick is nonsexual. there will be absolutely NO sex with Louis involved. as some had mentioned in the comments of the previous chapter, you noticed that I made Louis asexual. He is indeed asexual, and that's something that I see as imperative to the type of relationship that the character I wrote him as needs and wants. If this disappoints you, as some people have commented, then I apologize, but this is not the story for you! I based Louis' asexual qualities off of some of my own experiences, as I myself am asexual. Everyone experiences their sexuality differently, so how I write him is definitely not how everyone experiences asexuality.
> 
> 2\. we still have a lot of story left!! I'm writing it day by day write now, as the first few weeks of Louis' time with Nick and Harry are very important and I want to showcase his emotional change and the ways that he is regressing. I hope that it's subtle but easy to see some of the ways that he's changing! 
> 
> 3\. I created a twitter for the fic! @needaherofic is the user! if you want to follow and talk, my DMs on it are open and I would love to talk to all of you! your comments are always so lovely and this is a great way to get to know you. I'll be posting pictures/updates/answering any questions that you may have. I'll also be taking requests for one shots and any other stories you may want me to write!
> 
>  
> 
> as usual, comment away! your comments make me happier than pretty much anything in the entire universe. thank you so much, as always <3 <3 <3 <3 have a beautiful week! 
> 
> (have not edited this chapter yet, will remove this once I have!!)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoyyyy!!  
> official twitter: @needaherofic

Louis slept soundly through the ride home, not even waking up as Nick unbuckled him from the car seat and carried him upstairs. The boy was dry when Nick checked his diaper, so the man simply placed him in the bed, tucking him in nice and tight. Harry brought up a baby monitor that they had bought at YSL, wanting to have it there just in case Louis needed something while they carried all of their purchases inside. Harry’s excitement grew tenfold as he carried pile after pile of goodies inside, not sure how his life had become so perfect so quickly.

 

            They moved everything into their vacant guest bedroom, wanting to have Louis’ nursery and playroom empty for when the painter came the following day. Harry was folding up Louis’ new clothes with a small smile on his face when he heard a small noise from the monitor. Louis’ whimper quickly turned into a full-blown wail, the boy’s loud cries heard from where they were a few doors down. Harry heard Nick running up the stairs as he opened the door quickly, heading to Louis’ room. Before they could ask the boy what was wrong, they could smell the reason why he was distressed. In the stride of true daddies, they quickly walked over to Louis cooing and going to pick him up.

 

Before Harry could grab him, Louis let out a scream. “D-don’t touch me, don’t touch me,” sobs picking up in full force. “Just get out, get out, get out, I’m disgusting.”

 

“Baby, we’re not going anywhere,” Nick said. If Louis’ brain were working, he would’ve been blushing at the man’s use of the word baby. But it wasn’t. All he could think was disgusting, shameful, helpless, over and over again as he cried.

 

“It’s fine. I-I’ll leave. I’m disgusting.” The boy moved to get out of the side of the bed that the men weren’t perched on, before being quickly picked up and placed onto Harry’s lap, the man careful not to have his bum on his legs as to not cause the little further distress. The boy stiffened, but didn’t make any move to try and stand up.

 

“Louis, love, we told you that we aren’t going anywhere. Nothing you do can push us away. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, this is your body telling you that it’s comfortable enough to regress even farther. It’s okay, we promise.” Louis just cried, body loosening up as he allowed himself to place his head on Harry’s chest. Nick left the room, miming to his boyfriend that he was grabbing changing supplies, Harry nodding as he left.

 

“My sweet sweet boy, you’re okay,” Harry cooed, “It’s just a dirty diaper, that’s all. Your daddies will take care of you and get you all nice and clean, then you’ll feel all better.”

 

Harry smiled as he felt Louis nodding into his chest at his words, the boy’s cries slowing down significantly. He continued to talk to the distraught little, wanting to distract him while Nick was grabbing what they needed.

 

“Let’s get you all cleaned up,” Nick said as he walked through the door. He ripped open the pack of overnight diapers that they had bought, the woman at the store praising this brand’s thickness and absorbency. He grabbed one that had Olaf from Frozen on the front, remembering that Louis had once tweeted enthusiastically about how much he loved the movie.

 

Louis’ sobs picked up as he was placed onto a new portable changing mat that the men had bought, not wanting them to see him like this. He felt as though all of his walls were breaking down, that there would be nothing left of gad Louis after this. He could no longer pretend that he was anything but a little as he cried for his daddies to help him after messing his diaper. He cried for all that he was losing, which, when he thought about it, wasn’t all that much after all. He cried for everything that he was gaining, what he had always wanted but never quite received. Love, affection, guidance, protection. He cried as he came to terms with the fact that 21 wasn’t too late to start over, no matter how much he had tried to convince himself otherwise.

 

  
“Hey love,” Nick said from where he was sat by the boy’s head, “can you look at me?”

 

Louis’ eyes opened, looking at Nick while the tears poured down his face as he heard Harry opening the tabs on his diaper.

 

“I have something for you. I saw it today at the store and it reminded me of you. Do you want it?”

 

The little nodded, unable to quench his curiosity even in the worst of times.

 

“You can name him or her whatever you want, but they reminded me of you. A little lion cub, so very brave and fierce; just like you, hm?” Nick handed Louis a soft looking lion cub plush, the little’s face lighting up in wonder before he started crying more. Nick’s intuition told him that the tears weren’t falling because he was upset, but quite the opposite.

 

“N-no one has ever bought me a plushie before. My mum always told me they were for girls Th-thank you.” Louis barely spared Nick a glance, unable to stop looking at his new friend.

 

“Of course, my little cub. Anything for you,” Nick answered honestly.

 

“Look at that,” Harry exclaimed, “we’re all done! You were such a good boy Louis, so very good.” He had been able to change Louis, throw the used diaper out and wash his hands before coming back into the room, the little completely caught up in his lion. He blushed at Harry’s words, not giving him a verbal reply.

 

Louis let out a perfectly timed yawn, sitting up on the plastic pad. He let out a disgruntled noise as he felt the padding of the diaper he was in, not used to being in such a thick diaper. He found himself kind of liking the way that it made him feel, worlds better than the pull-ups he had used what felt like centuries ago. He stood up before walking over to the bed, crawling back in, careful not to crushing his new friend.

 

“All good, baby?” Nick asked the boy, moving to tuck him in for a second time that night. Yep, Louis heard it that time. He blushed happily at the man’s use of the word, liking the way it sounded.

 

“Yeah… um, thank you,” he said quietly before repeating it louder, looking into both of their eyes, “thank you.” They smiled softly at him before shutting the light off and walking out of the room.

 

Once out of the room, the men returned to the spare guest room to finish organizing everything they had bought.

 

“That was a big step, right?” Harry asked, looking to his older boyfriend.

 

“Definitely. It isn’t to say that it’ll be easy sailing from here on out, but I think that this was a big hurdle. Proud of you.” Nick stepped towards Harry, lightly gripping his chin and pulling him in for a kiss.

 

“Love you,” Harry sighed, placing a quick kiss on Nick’s cheek.

 

“Love you even more,” Nick said, rolling his eyes at their ridiculous sappiness. He had to admit that his life couldn’t get much better, not with his two boys by his side.

 

\----------

Nick woke up to his phone ringing the next morning, immediately inciting a panic in him that he was late for work. He calmed down when he realized it was Sunday, but picked up the phone, curious to see who was calling him.

 

He coughed before he answered, clearing his throat, “Nick Grimshaw speaking.”

 

“Hi Mr. Grimshaw, I apologize for the early morning call. This is Suzanne from Your Sweet Little. We had a moved appointment and are able to bring your furniture over today when your painter comes. Would you like to switch appointments, or would you still like your delivery to be tomorrow?”

 

“Thank you for calling Suzanne, today would definitely be convenient.”

 

“All right, Mr. Grimshaw, we will see you around 1pm, don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions. Have a wonderful day.”

 

Nick hung up before turning to a wide-awake Harry with a huge smile on his face.

 

“It was the woman from YSL; they can bring everything we bought today instead of tomorrow. The rooms will be painted and full of stuff for our baby… today.”

 

Morning breath be damned, the daddies’ lips met in a sweet kiss. Nick tangled his fingers in Harry’s hair, pulling himself closer to Harry. A rustling on the baby monitor had them pulling apart.

 

“This is what being a daddy is, hm? Always getting stopped before it gets good?” Harry joked, standing up. Nick laughed, both men walking to brush their teeth. They listened to the sweet sounds Louis made as he woke up, loving every second of hearing their boy.

 

Once ready to start the day, they went to the occupied guest room. As it was the morning before, his thumb was in his mouth. While Harry thought it was one of the cutest things he’d ever seen, his germaphobe mind was a bit freaked out. He thought to himself to grab a pacifier for the boy before he went downstairs, knowing that it was a lot cleaner than his thumb.

 

“Good morning lovely,” Harry sang with a bright smile on his face. Louis smiled around his thumb, making no move to get up.

 

“Guess what, cub?” Nick asked. Louis looked at him curiously, still not speaking. The men were a bit alarmed by Louis’ lack of vocalization, wondering why he wasn’t speaking. Thinking back on the emotional diaper change that Louis had experienced, they were wondering if he had regressed. They decided to tread lightly, knowing that only time could tell.

 

They moved over to the bed, sitting on the side gently. To the daddies’ surprise, Louis reached his free hand out to Nick, tangling their fingers together. Both men cooed at the action, Harry saying, “oh, our sweet boy. Does someone need some love this morning?” Louis let out an excited gurgle behind his thumb.

 

If Louis were to look back on all of the other times that his mind had regressed, he would have laughed at ever thinking that he was feeling truly little in any of those instances. After his revelation last night, he woke up feeling little. Really little. It wasn’t something he could quite pinpoint, but he knew he was regressed. His happiness at Harry and Nick entering the room was out of this world. He never knew that he could feel happiness like that, ecstatic over the simple act of seeing two people enter a room. His mind was cloudy, he couldn’t really focus in on what his daddies were saying to him, but he saw their smiles and heard their excited voices and that was enough. His daddies. His Nick and Harry. His.

 

He sat up, feeling a bit wobbly. Odd. He whimpered at the feeling of his wet diaper, unable to put his feelings into words. It was as though he had no control over his emotions, tears flowing without even thinking about it. He just felt icky and wanted someone to do something about it. He knew his daddies would help him.

 

“Oh, love, no need to cry,” Harry cooed, gently picking the boy up, “we’ll get you all cleaned up in a nice, new diaper and you’ll feel a whole lot better.” Louis pushed his tear stained face into Harry’s neck, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

 

Realizing that Louis had regressed overnight, Nick and Harry slipped into full daddy mode. They were sure it was a product of his stress last night and didn’t think he would stay down for long, but wanted to make him as comfortable as possible while he was. They wanted him to realize that he could trust them; this was a pivotal moment in both Louis’ development and their dynamic as a family. Harry and Nick couldn’t believe that Louis could be any cuter than he was normally, but they were proven wrong by the way they fell more and more in love with the little boy with every single second. Louis’ reservations against Nick, the little bit that still existed, seemed to still be in place while he was regressed. The boy seemed a bit wary of Nick, cuddling close to Harry as they got everything ready for his diaper change. Nick went to go get something for Louis to wear, figuring one of his new footed sleepers would do the trick. Who ever said that pajamas are only meant for the morning? He grabbed one that was a light green, covered in little sleeping puppies. Absolutely adorable, just like their boy.

 

When Nick walked back in Harry was undoing the boy’s diaper, speaking to him softly. The older man walked back over, taking a seat next to Louis’ head. The little looked up at him with wide, shy eyes before averting them quickly. He shoved three of his fingers in his mouth, making a happy noise as he sucked.

 

“We’re going to get you a paci after you eat breakfast so you don’t have to suck on your yucky fingers anymore,” Harry said, giving the boy a smile. Louis simply stared up at him with a smile on his face, happy to just lie there and be talked at. Once he was changed, Harry picked him up and carried him downstairs to the couch, settling with the boy in his arms.

 

“Nick, will you grab a bottle, please, babe? They’re in the drawer to the left of the sink and the formula is where the cereal is. Thanks,” Harry asked, looking down at Louis who was blinking up at him. His stomach let out a small grumble, the little startling at the noise.

 

Harry let out a chuckle, reaching one hand down to rub the boy’s stomach. “Looks like someone’s hungry, hm? We’ll get something into your tummy in just a minute, sweetheart.” He was a bit surprised at how easy it was to fall into his role as a parent. One look at Louis’ trusting eyes and he was gone, he knew he had to do whatever he could to make the boy smile.

 

“Look whose breakfast is ready,” Nick exclaimed, walking into the room with a warm bottle in hand. He had prepared the formula that they had bought at YSL, and was curious to see how the boy reacted to drinking it the first time. Something they had learned through researching littles was that the younger one’s mind had them regressing the more infantile their body would become. Nick didn’t really understand how it happened, how one’s body changed once realizing they had begun to regress, but he wouldn’t question it. All he knew was that they were to feed Louis formula in place of at least one meal a day, if not more, and had to be extremely careful in regard to the food that they were feeding him or he would get sick.

 

Harry grabbed the bottle from Nick’s outstretched hand, setting it up in his hands so that Louis could comfortable drink from it. He placed the nipple in Louis’ mouth, the boy looking up to Harry curiously as he bit on it, letting out a noise of joy at the way it squeaked in between his teeth.

 

“No, no, silly boy, you drink from it!” Harry laughed, tipping the bottle back to allow milk to enter Louis’ mouth next time he bit down on the rubbery nipple. He let out a soft noise when the milk entered his mouth, closing his eyes. The daddies fell in love with the way that he made snuffly breathing noises as he drank, eyes closed in relaxation. Harry and Nick talked quietly as Louis drank, figuring out the plans for the day. They decided that Harry would take Louis to his place, allowing for the painters and movers to come to the house and not stress the little out. It would also give Louis the chance to decide whether or not he wanted to continue staying with Nick and Harry or stay at his house.

 

Once the bottle was empty, Harry sat the boy up facing over his shoulder. He wasn’t sure if anything would come out, but he figured he should try and burp the little. It was the first time he’d really remembered that he was just as new at this as Louis was. Patting the boy’s back softly, Louis almost instantly let out a burp. Nick cooed, telling the boy how good he was.

 

“How does a bubble bath sound?” Nick asked, more to Harry than to Louis. Harry nodded, standing up with the boy in his arms before taking him upstairs. They followed Nick into the bathroom that they had designed with a little in mind. They had a huge bathtub installed, just in case they ever had someone to use it for.

 

Harry put the boy on the counter, making sure he was safely pressed against the wall before going to turn the water on. Maybe they’d gone a bit overboard, just maybe- Nick returned with six kinds of bubble bath before placing them on the counter next to Louis.

 

“All right, cub, which bubbles do you want to use?”

 

Louis looked at them thoughtfully before picking up a fluorescent pink bottle that boasted about the MEGA bubbles the container held. A few minutes later the tub was full of warm water and bubbles, and it was only missing one thing. Standing Louis up and unzipping his sleeper and undoing his still clean diaper, Nick grabbed him and placed him in the tub. The boy let out a pleased noise at the water.

 

“Warm,” Louis said, speaking for the first time since waking up.

 

“That’s right,” Harry praised, “would you like to draw?” He asked, holding out bath crayons to the boy. Louis grabbed the brown one and started scribbling on the wall. Louis’ artistic abilities would never have been considered impressive, especially when his motor skills were not where they normally were. But looking at Louis’ drawing of a lion, Nick and Harry felt like they could have been looking at the Mona Lisa.

 

“Is that your new friend?” Nick asked, happy to see that the boy had been so taken by the lion he’d gotten him.

 

Louis nodded, answering simply with, “Lacy.”

 

“Lacy, is that her name?” Harry asked with a smile. Louis nodded his head, smiling proudly.

 

“Lacy the lion, what a great name!” Nick exclaimed.

 

“Thanks,” Louis said, giving him a curious look as if he didn’t know what to make of him. Nick realized that he had to work a thousand times as hard as Harry to gain Louis’ complete trust, but he would do whatever was necessary to get there.

 

All washed up and back in his pajamas, Louis was sitting pressed against Nick’s side as a cartoon played in the living room. He liked how warm and big Nick was, the man’s large hand rubbing his side gently. He was rubbing his fingers over Lacy’s soft mane, loving how her fur felt on his fingers.

 

“All right, Loulou, let’s get you your first paci!” Harry said excitedly, walking over to the boy. He placed a pacifier that looked like a dog’s face at Louis’ lips, waiting for the boy to open his mouth patiently. Louis opened his mouth, tentatively sucking on the new object. It felt weird at first, having something in his mouth that wasn’t food or his fingers, but he quickly grew to like the feeling of the rubber in his mouth. Louis had always loved chewing gum, content with the feeling of something in his mouth, but this was definitely a better alternative, he thought.

 

“The people painting your room and bringing your furniture over are coming this afternoon, isn’t that exciting? Harry is going to take you over to your house for a few hours, and when you come back everything will be all set up! Does that sound good?”

 

Louis thought for a few seconds before plucking his pacifier out of his mouth, asking, “I come back?” with a worried look on his face.

 

Nick rushed to answer, “Of course you can come back! Do you want to come back?”

 

The little nodded quickly, looking like a bobble head. “I sleep here?” It seemed as though the boy was a lot more open in his regressed state, something that relieved both Nick and Harry. They found it hard to know what he was thinking sometimes, so it made them feel a bit better to know what was going on in the boy’s head.

 

“Baby, you can sleep here and stay here whenever you want. This is your house too, now.” Nick answered honestly, waiting to hear Louis’ reply, but it never came. Instead, he felt a small set of lips pressed against his shoulder, Louis turning to kiss him before nuzzling into him. Nick’s grin was huge, ridiculously happy at the small show of affection the boy gave him. It was a start, a very, very good start.

\--------

 

Once at Louis’ house, Harry set the boy up on the couch snuggled in a blanket. When asked what he wanted to do, he answered that he wanted to watch Inside Out. Harry told him to holler if he needed him, and set out to do a bit of work. He wasn’t trying to intrude, he really wasn’t. But he was Louis’ daddy now, wasn’t he? It was his job to help Louis when he needed it. And maybe Louis didn’t ask him for help, but he knew he needed it.

 

Harry opened up Louis’ phone, which he didn’t have locked for whatever reason, and went to his texts. What had originally caused him to worry was the fact that Louis’ phone, which was left on their kitchen counter after they picked Louis up from the restaurant, was constantly lighting up with calls and texts from his mum. There were 29 texts from her, and what they said made Harry’s stomach drop. What the hell had Louis been hiding from them all these years?

 

_Pick up your phone, NOW._

_Are you ignoring your own mum?_

_Really Louis? after all I’ve done for u?_

_Stop being a baby and pick up the phone._

_nevermind.. you can’t stop, because you are one._

_After all I’ve put up with over the years of living with u. a helpless baby. And now my credit card doesn’t work? The least you could do is support your mother. Shameful._

_Maybe I’ll have to go to the papers and tell them how big of a baby you are to get the money you aren’t giving me._

_I would think hard about this._

 

Harry couldn’t look at the rest of the texts, sick over the way that Louis was being texted. It was awful for anyone to speak to Louis this way, let alone his mum. To threaten him with outing him to the world over her overspending the credit card that he was paying for? He had no words. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he needed to do something.

 

“Hazza,” Louis called out, prompting Harry to put the phone down and head into the living room.

 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Harry asked, looking at the boy all snuggled in a blanket, lion tucked under one arm.

 

He smiled shyly, “just want cuddles.”

 

Harry cooed, walking over to the boy and sitting on the couch. He pulled him onto his lap, Louis instantly curling into him. Harry stroked the boy’s hair feeling fiercely determined. He would protect this little boy, HIS little boy, at all costs, from whomever he needed to. Be it his mother, his bandmates, or the scrutiny of the world, Harry would not let any harm or hurt come to his baby. And that he was sure of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey!!!! I hope you enjoyed it :) not a HUGE chapter, but definitely one that sets up a few plot points and furthers the relationship of nick/harry/louis. I won't have another chapter up until Tuesday or so at the earliest, so I hope you have a great weekend!
> 
> as always, please comment! nothing motivates me more than hearing what you guys think/want to see! 
> 
> and my official twitter for this fic is @needaherofic, my dms are open so let me know what you think, it's been so fun being able to talk to yall!!!! <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you are! :)
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic

One Disney movie, a nap, and a lot of pizza later, Harry was loading Louis back into his car seat, ready to take him back to the house. Louis was still regressed, much to Harry’s joy. He’d spent the afternoon fawning over his little boy, giving him cuddles and love. He had a lot of time to make up for in that department.

 

Harry looked back at Louis to see the boy sucking calmly on his pacifier, looking out the window.

 

“Are you excited to see your new rooms, sweetheart?” Louis nodded, smiling behind his pacifier.

 

The second that Harry pressed the button to open the garage Nick had the house door open, a huge smile on his face. Harry was happy to see that his boyfriend was just as ecstatic as he was over the prospect of showing Louis his new rooms. It was an important step, they were making Nick and Harry’s house into Nick, Harry, and Louis’ home. A family.

 

Nick walked over to the car, opening the rear door when Harry had shut the car off. He smiled at Louis, the boy letting out an excited noise when he saw Nick. He reached his hands out for the man, attempting to hug him through his restraints. Nick chuckled, awkwardly hugging the boy who was still sat in the car seat.

 

“Hi lovey, I missed you!” Nick said, unbuckling the boy’s five-point harness. He picked Louis up as soon as he was free, holding the boy close. He let out a sigh of contentment; he couldn’t believe how much he had missed the boy while he was gone, realizing how attached he had gotten in only a few days.

 

Once inside, they followed Harry up the stairs. Both men were eager to show Louis the room; Nick had sent Harry pictures once everything was set up and the workers had left, but he couldn’t wait to see the rooms in person.

 

“Hm, which room should we go to first?” Nick asked, looking at Louis. Pacifier still bobbing between his lips, Louis just stared back at the man as if to say, you choose.

 

“How about his playroom?” Harry said. They walked into the playroom, Louis’ eyes covered by his fingers after Nick told him to close his eyes. As usual, Louis’ curiosity won out, the boy peeking between his fingers before Nick could count down from three.

 

He gasped as he looked at the room; sure that he’d never seen so many toys in his life. The walls were painted light green, and the room was filled with all of the toys that they had bought at YSL and more. There was a keyboard set up in one corner that Louis couldn’t wait to try out. There was an adult-sized plastic table set up with a tub of art supplies next to it. Lined with bins of legos, play-doh, trains, and any other toy Louis could ever want, the men knew he’d be happy playing in here.

 

Louis grabbed his pacifier out of his mouth giving the men a huge smile. “Thank you! This is the coolest room ever.”

 

“Anything for you, little cub,” Nick said, giving the boy a bounce. The men would never tell you how nervous they were for Louis to see his room. They had definitely taken a lot of liberties with it, and just hoped that Louis liked it.

 

He couldn’t help but cry as they entered his room. HIS room. His emotions were going haywire as of late, and he seemed to be crying at almost everything that was happening in his life. Good, bad, exciting, embarrassing. At least Nick and Harry didn’t make fun of him. Not yet, the negative voice in his head whispered.

 

The walls of his room were painted like a jungle; happy, cartoon like animals were hanging from trees, drinking from watering holes, or simply playing together. It matched his sheets perfectly and it was beyond the scope of Louis’ wildest imagination in terms of things he loved. It was perfect. Louis allowed himself to look at what was in the room after tearing his gaze away from the perfectly painted walls.

 

The furniture was crafted of the dark wood Harry had been dreaming about for years now. As he looked around the room he couldn’t believe that it finally existed, that it was for his little boy. The closet was full to the brim with clothes for Louis that they’d bought at YSL. Him and Louis had gone through his clothes at his house, picking out some that he wanted to keep at theirs in case he slept over, and, Harry hoped, eventually moved in. He looked over at the leather rocking couch in the corner, thinking about the nightly bottles they’d be giving their boy. It was more than he could have ever dreamed of.

 

“Do you like it, Loulou?” Harry asked, walking over to the boy who was rubbing his tear covered cheeks on Nick’s shirt to dry them off.

 

He looked up at Harry, eyes more aware than they’d been all day. “I love it. This… this is more than I could have ever dreamed of having. I think it’ll take some getting used to, though, if that’s okay?”

 

“Of course it’s okay, love. You don’t need to do anything that you don’t want to.” Harry and Nick would continue to assure Louis of the fact that they were moving at his pace as much as he needed. His insecurity really did remind them of an actual child, the way that he would constantly repeat himself and ask the same question over and over again for reassurance.

 

Louis smiled up at them gratefully, before wriggling, trying to get down from Nick’s arms. The man let the boy down, smiling at how adorable he looked in his footie pajamas. He walked around the room, running his hands along the changing table thoughtfully. He felt more like himself than he had all day, and his mind was racing. He was grateful. He felt more loved than he had in his entire life. But what would he do tomorrow when rehearsals started back up? What would he do on tour? When would this act end? Sure, Harry and Nick were okay with taking care of him while they had free time, but there was no way that they would want to continue when life picked back up. Louis couldn’t blame them for that.

 

He so desperately wanted to fall into the promise of family, but he can’t do it. It’s one thing for Nick and Harry to say nice things to him, but it’s another for him to believe it. He can’t think of one thing that they did that was wrong, it was all him. It would always be him. He could never completely get his mum’s words out of his mind; they were present in everything he did, every sweet word Harry and Nick said to him. He almost wished that he would reenter his headspace so that he could take himself away from these thoughts. He tried not to think about his rules, how he was supposed to talk to Nick and Harry when his mind was in a bad place, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want them to know about his mum, he didn’t want them to change their minds about him. He couldn’t help but think that they might change their minds about him if they heard how disgusted his own mum was by him. He didn’t think he could live through that.

 

Weighing his options quickly, Louis thought about how to proceed. He could stay there that night, or he could go back to his house and sleep alone. He’d see Harry at rehearsals the next day, that could potentially be awkward if he left right then. And Nick and Harry had done something so nice for him, right? He couldn’t leave. He wouldn’t let his mind toy with the thought that he wanted to stay; he couldn’t get too comfortable, which was already happening. Disappointment was all that this would end in.

 

Nick and Harry were sharing worried looks at the way that Louis was standing in the corner of the room, fingers running idly over the smooth wood of the changing table. They realized how overwhelming this must be for the boy and let him work through his thoughts. All they could do was hope that he would trust them enough to tell them what he was thinking.

 

Louis turned around to look at the men, seemingly unsure of himself.

 

“If you want me to leave I can. I know you have work tomorrow morning, Nick, and we have rehearsals. I need to call Alberto anyways; it’s fine if you want me to leave. I’m sure he’s worried about me.”

 

The daddies felt pained every time Louis questioned them. It felt like for every small step they took forward, they’d inevitably take three steps back. They knew that this would take some time, but it hurt nonetheless.

 

“We would love for you to stay, Lou. We can go to rehearsals together and just tell the lads that my car is in the shop so you and Alberto picked me up. If you want to leave we can get you a ride home, though. It’s up to you.”

 

Louis contemplated Harry’s words. Every part of him ached to stay there, to allow himself to bask in the men’s praise and affection. But his mind never failed to remind him of the worst possible outcomes that could occur. He closed his eyes, trying not to panic. He was okay.

 

“I’ll stay,” Louis said, breathing a bit heavier than normal.

 

Harry couldn’t help it, he walked over to the boy and enveloped him in a hug, pressing a kiss to his hair. He waited for the little to hug him back before speaking.

 

“I’m happy to hear that. It’s getting late, how about we get you changed and ready for bed?”

 

Louis nodded, seemingly unable to separate himself from Harry’s embrace. He was beginning to realize how much he enjoyed being touched, loving the warm feeling of Nick and Harry on his skin.

 

Nick allowed Harry to do the talking, unable to stop his mind from racing. He was worried about Louis. He knew that something had to have happened to him in the past few years to make him so hesitant to open up to them, and he needed to know what it was so he could help him.

 

“Nick,” Harry started, cutting the man’s thoughts short, “can you grab a set of pajamas for Lou to wear?”

 

He grabbed a set that was decorated in lions, figuring it was fitting on the night that they revealed Louis’ room. He brought them over to where Harry was changing Louis into a night diaper, the boy covering his face with his hands.

 

Once changed and clothed, Nick picked up Louis and took him to the couch. He sat the boy on his lap and began rocking slowly, about to begin speaking when Louis gasped.

 

“Where’s Lacy?” He asked, looking at the man. If it were anyone else who asked, he would’ve answered snarkily, wondering how the hell he was supposed to know where what they wanted was. But it was Louis, and he was his little boy. It was his job to know where his things were.

 

“She’s right in your crib, love, I’ll have Harry grab her when he comes back in,” Louis nodded, content with his answer.

 

The boy thought before saying what was on his mind, “I’m scared… of the crib. What if I need to get out and I can’t? What if there’s a fire?”

 

“If there was a fire, which there won’t be, then Harry and I will come and get you out. We’ll always make sure you’re safe. How about you sleep with the side of the crib down? Would that make you feel better?”

 

Louis thought about it before nodding, “Yeah. That’s good. Just get… a bit nervous over some stuff.”

 

“It’s okay, lovely, thank you for being honest with me! If you don’t like your crib after sleeping in it a few times then we can get you a bed, no problem.”

 

Harry walked in as Nick was finishing up speaking. He walked over to the couch with a bottle in hand, going to sit down before Nick instructed him to grab Lacy. Louis clutched the lion close to him, rubbing her soft mane against his mouth. He yawned as Harry handed Nick the bottle, trying to clear his mind instead of thinking what the next day would bring. Nick brought the bottle up to his lips, his head cradled in Nick’s shoulder. Harry began to slowly rock the small couch, the movements relaxing Louis just as much as the warm milk did. He was asleep before he was even three-quarters of the way through the bottle, Nick gently removing the nipple from the little’s lips. Harry continued to rock them until they were sure the boy was asleep before Nick picked him up gently. He placed the boy in the crib (making sure to leave the side down), and covered him with a soft blanket. It was late October and the weather wasn’t too frigid, but they wanted the boy to be comfortable and warm.

 

Once in their room, Harry began the conversation he knew needed to be had.

 

“We have a problem.”

 

“What’s wrong, love?”

 

“This is what’s wrong,” Harry said, pulling out a phone from his back pocket. It wasn’t his, and Nick realized that it was Louis’ by the lack of phone case. Harry always complained that Louis was going to break his phone because he didn’t have a case on it, so it was easier for him to pinpoint whose it was.

 

Nick looked at the screen, reading the text conversation that Harry had pulled up. He felt like he was going to throw up looking at the harsh words, the contact name “mum” allowing all of the pieces of the puzzle to fit together. In his wildest dreams he would have never imagined that it was Louis’ mum who had act in a manner that lead to the boy being as insecure and anxious as he was. His mind was reeling, unable to completely comprehend what he had just read.

 

“What the fuck,” Nick answered, unable to say anything else. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do first, seriously harm Louis’ mum or hide the boy away so that no one could ever hurt him again.

 

“Agreed. Louis is going to want his phone tomorrow when we go to rehearsals, so he’ll read the texts then… the question is whether or not he’ll say anything?” Harry couldn’t help but phrase his thoughts as a question, feeling completely out of his element. There was nothing that he wanted to do more than help Louis, but he wasn’t sure how it was possible.

 

“Do you think anyone knows?” Nick asked.

 

“Maybe we can call Alberto? I’m sure he has to know at least how often Louis calls her or goes over to her house on breaks? We need to start somewhere.”

 

Harry grabbed his phone, quickly scrolling to Alberto’s contact before hitting call.

 

“Harry?” Alberto asked, sounding confused as to why Harry would be calling him. They exchanged pleasantries, but they were nowhere near as close as Louis was with him, for obvious reasons.

 

“Hey Alberto, I just have a question I guess, if that’s all right?”

 

“No problem, man, ask away.”

 

“I guess I was just wondering what Louis’ relationship with his mum is like? I figured if anyone were to know it’d be you.”

 

“Well, first, I have a question for you- is he with you? He hasn’t been answering, and I didn’t want to intrude on your time. I know that he’d call if he needed me, so that’s obviously the first place my mind went.”

 

Harry answered without hesitation; he knew that Alberto would need to be in the know; he was Louis’ personal bodyguard. He went everywhere with Louis, and Harry knew he’d take a bullet for the boy if need be. He could be trusted. He was the only one to be trusted at this point.

 

“Yeah, he’s been here. There’ve been ups and downs, no surprise there, but he is being cared for. Fuck, Alberto, I would do anything for him. Nick feels the same.” Harry couldn’t help but get emotional as he thought about the boy, thinking about how much he deserved from this world and what he was actually treated like by his mum. It didn’t add up. It wasn’t deserved.

 

“Welcome to the club, kid. I’m right there with ya. I’m glad he’s safe. He deserves you both, I know you’ll treat him like he deserves. But if you don’t… just know I’m comin for ya,” Alberto let out a small chuckle at his own words.

“Don’t worry, we are moving at his pace. This is all about him. Anything he wants.”

 

“That’s what I like to hear. But back to why you called. Louis’ mum? They never talk. Ever. Well, the only times they do is over money. She’ll call him and he’ll talk about this credit card or that bill. I know he pays for most of their living expenses. He’ll start the conversation while I’m in the room and then walk out. He’s always been secretive, though, for obvious reasons as we now know.”

 

“Thank you, that’s helpful. Do you know anything about him visiting her? The more we think about it the more we realize that he never sees his family, we were just curious.” Harry was withholding information, he didn’t want to start a fire when there was no reason to. Not yet.

 

“I can’t think of a time where he’s ever visited them. You know about as well as I do, he never sees them. Always stays at his house during breaks.”

 

Harry thanked Alberto for his time, letting him know that he and Dale could pick them up at his house the next morning.

 

“Well, it looks like this is exactly what we expected. But why? Why would his mum treat him like that? Classification shame her own son?” Harry asked, leaning into Nick’s embrace.

 

“Babe, we both know that some parents are assholes. The problem is how far it’s gone. He’s 21 and is receiving the affection that littles need for the first time in his life. That’s the real issue; we just need to make sure he’s okay. This is going to be hard.”

 

“Of course it’s going to be hard, Nick, but he needs us. And we’re going to be by his side until he tells us he doesn’t want our help, which I hope will never happen. But what do we do about his mum?”

 

“We just wait and see how he reacts. We don’t do anything yet. He isn’t ours until he’s ours. It’s been three days, you’ve to give him time.”

 

Harry sighed, not responding to Nick. He was tired. He was worried; for both Louis’ situation with his mum and rehearsals tomorrow.

\-------

Nick’s alarm blared at 5:00am as it usually did, Harry a pro at ignoring it after years of sleeping with the radio host. Before he left, Nick made sure to check on Louis, wanting to see the boy before he left. He was curled up into a tiny ball in the crib, pacifier gently bobbing between his lips. He looked calm and content. For fear of waking the boy up, Nick left the room without touching the boy, knowing he’d have time to cuddle him later. It was time to head back to real life, Nick thought. He loved his job more than most parts of his life, but he’d love to stay home with his boys even more.

 

Harry woke up a bit earlier than normal, showering and getting himself ready for rehearsal. There was a nervous pit in his stomach, not quite sure how Louis would react at rehearsals. He felt selfish as he thought about how he wanted rehearsals to go, scared that Louis would completely ignore him. A part of him understood why the little would react in such a way, scared that the others would find out. He headed to Louis’ room after he got dressed for the day, wanting to have time to bath the boy and feed him before rehearsals. He allowed himself a minute to stare at Louis’ sleeping form, the boy’s expression soft as he slept. Harry wished he could allow the boy to sleep for longer, but rushing the boy would cause him more anxiety than Harry wanted to.

 

Rubbing the boy’s back softly, he spoke, “Louis, love, it’s time to get up.”

 

Louis let out a small noise behind his pacifier, stretching his legs out in the crib before opening his eyes. As he came to, his expression shifted from the calm one that he’d had for most of the past few days to the same shielded expression Harry had come to know over the past five years. He spit his pacifier out, sitting up quickly.

 

He breathed quickly, unable to think straight. Louis was absolutely furious with himself; he couldn’t believe that he’d let himself become so relaxed. How did he expect to keep his secret safe from the boys now? He needed to get it together.

 

Harry looked on with wide eyes, unsure of whether or not touching the boy would make him feel worse. He wasn’t sure where his head was, and figured he should wait for the boy to speak. He could be patient.

 

Louis spoke, his breathing labored. Harry wasn’t sure if the boy was speaking to him or himself, but he listened intently regardless, “I need to get ready. This was stupid. God, this was stupid. The boys are going to know. Everyone’s going to figure me out. Our career is over, everything is over.”

 

Bending down to sit next to Louis in the crib, Harry spoke. “Can you listen to me, Louis? Thank you. No one is going to know. The only people this changes something with are Nick and me. That’s it. No one is going to know until you want them to know.”

 

Looking up at Harry with wide, frantic eyes, Louis couldn’t understand how Harry didn’t comprehend the implications of this. “I can’t talk to you. They’ll know. Everyone will know. God, how did I think this was okay? Why am I like this?”

 

Louis scooted himself out of the crib cautiously, Harry unable to stop himself from reaching out to steady the boy as he put his feet on the ground, not wanting him to fall. Standing up, Louis turned to look at Harry.

 

“I need a shower, ‘m gonna go do that.” Louis walked out of the room and headed for the guest shower. He would never tell Harry about the trouble he had washing himself, hands shaking too much for him to do a decent job.

 

Instead of feeling down on himself, Harry took the time to text Nick what was happening and set out a diaper and clothes for Louis in the bathroom, wanting the boy to be able to change in private. He could respect the boy’s wishes. It made him want to burst into tears and pull his hair out watching Louis be so confused and hateful of his own nature, but he could do it. Louis wasn’t his no matter how much he wanted him to be. Not yet.

 

If he were thinking rationally, then Louis would realize that Harry had never done anything to make him so hesitant to trust the daddy. Harry had been there for him through everything the past five years, and more than that, he didn’t run from him when he found out his classification. He and Nick were the only people to ever truly be there for him as a little, and they’d only known for a week and half. That should mean something, shouldn’t it?

 

But he was thinking emotionally, his mind clouded with the fear of rejection from his boys, their management, and their loving and loyal fans. There was too much that could go wrong. He felt guilty going back and forth with the daddies so much. He made them think that he wanted them, they made a room up for him and everything. And now he was acting like this. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Nick and Harry; in fact, he wanted them more than anything. He craved their love and affection. It was funny, he expected to be completely averse to every single thing that his eventual daddy would do, having to be slowly eased into every aspect of the life, but he wasn’t. He reveled in the way that they treated him, the love that they gave him. It was everything he’d ever wanted. He was weak, he knew it, and he couldn’t bring himself to care. But he did care about what others thought, and that was the root of this problem.

 

He sat himself under the stream of hot water, taking time to think. He’d just have to ignore Harry, right? Wrong. That would make the others suspicious, he never ignored Harry. And he didn’t want to hurt Harry’s feelings. He couldn’t hurt Harry’s feelings, especially when he knew he’d end up back at his and Nick’s house. He’d just have to talk to Harry, make him promise to pretend to be normal. That would be easy, wouldn’t it?

 

Getting out of the shower, Louis toweled himself off, noticing that Harry had put a stack of clothes and a diaper inside of the bathroom. It hurt his heart knowing that Harry cared for him so much, making him feel guilty for the way that he was acting. It took him a while to get the diaper on, his hands not wanting to cooperate. After checking himself out in the mirror and making sure you couldn’t see the diaper through his track pants, he headed downstairs.

 

Harry was sat at the table, drinking coffee and eating a steaming plate of eggs and toast. A plate was set next to Harry’s, full of food that Louis assumed was for him. Before he could formulate a thought about the sippy cup that his eyes landed on, Harry was explaining himself.

 

“You don’t have to drink out of it if you don’t want to, I just figured it might be easier than possibly spilling your juice. I know you’ve said that your hands have been shaky, wanted to help out a bit.”

 

Louis sighed, “Thanks Harry. You’re more thoughtful than I deserve. Can I say something?”

 

The little sat down, taking a sip from the blue sippy cup. Harry didn’t reply, looking at Louis and waiting for him to speak.

 

“Sorry for freaking out. It’s just… I’ve kept this a secret for 21 years, and I need it to remain one. I can’t have the boys finding out, it’ll ruin everything. You understand?”

 

Harry nodded, placing a comforting hand on the little’s shoulder. “Of course I understand, Lou. No one will know anything is up. I promise. But I also want you to know that if you need me, just pull me aside. For anything, whether it be a change or just a hug. I’m still your bandmate, don’t forget that.”

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Louis said, giving the man a grateful smile. They ate in silence, Louis concentrating on making sure his food actually got to his mouth. Harry’s phone beeped, the man checked it before standing up.

 

“Are you done eating, love? Dale and Alberto are here,” he grabbed Louis’ plate when the boy nodded, putting both of their dishes in the dishwasher. He grabbed a small backpack that he had put together, putting in some diaper supplies under a sweatshirt so they were hid.

 

Louis couldn’t help but panic as they got in the car, drumming his fingers against his thighs.

 

“Hey bud, how are you?” Alberto asked, turning around from the front seat and giving Louis a smile.

 

“I’m good, Albs. Missed you,” he answered honestly. It was weird when he went a few days without seeing the guard.

 

The little wasn’t sure what he expected to happen when he arrived at the studio, but it was uneventful. The other boys hugged him, telling him about their weekends.

 

Other than a bit of hovering, Harry treated Louis exactly like he normally would. The boy was absolutely relieved that his cover would be lasting another day.

He was excited for the tour, loving that the songs that he and Liam had worked so hard on would be sung in stadiums of hundreds of thousands of people. There was something ridiculously special about writing a song and having people enjoy it. When the band released their first album, he thought that nothing would ever feel better than fans telling them that they enjoyed his singing, but he was wrong. When he and Liam started writing, the feedback that they received made him feel like he was flying. To hear that people liked his voice was one thing, but to have them rave over songs that he had poured his heart and soul into was something otherworldly. For this tour to have a set list full of songs that were penned by him was something he couldn’t believe. It was more than he could have ever asked for in life.

 

When it came time for their lunch break, Zayn walked over to Louis.

 

“Hey mate, what are you doing next Saturday?”

 

“Nothing, why, what’s up?” Louis asked.

 

“You know how I told you I’ve a new bird?” Zayn took Louis’ nod as a sign to continue speaking, “Well, it’s Perrie from Little Mix. We were thinking of having a bit of a get together at my place for Halloween. The lads are all coming, H is bringing Nick. Her girls are gonna be there too. Jesy is bringing Jake. They’re p-doms; if I’m being honest they can get a bit irritating, but it should be fine. You in?”

 

Louis swallowed at Zayn’s mention of the p-doms, but nodded. “I’d love to, Z. I’ll be there. Like I said before, I’m happy for you. Perrie is great from all I know about her. And she has you wrapped around her finger, so she can’t be too bad.”

 

Zayn laughed, patting Louis on the shoulder as he walked away.

 

The little wet himself towards the end of their practice, shifting uncomfortably. He tried to hide his discomfort, but Harry noticed it right away. He was frustrated by the fact that there was nothing he could do as Louis wasn’t moving to go change himself and he couldn’t just stop things and take Louis away. It would be too obvious.

 

Finally, they were on their way home after deciding that they’d meet at the same time tomorrow. It was still the beginning stages of their rehearsals, these ones being run solely by the boys. Helene, their vocal trainer, wasn’t coming in until next week to see what the boys had put together. The more that they toured, the more autonomy their management gave them when it came to their stage show. They appreciated it.

 

Seated back in the car, Louis shifted around trying to get comfortable on the leather seat. Harry pointedly strapped the boy in when it was clear that Louis wasn’t going to do it himself, the daddy wishing that the boy’s car seat was in the vehicle.

 

“Almost home, love, then we can get you changed,” Harry said, not looking up from where he was scrolling twitter on his phone.

 

“What? How do you know?” Louis asked petulantly, unsure of how the man had found out he was wet.

 

“Babe, I’m your daddy. These things are easy for me to tell.”

 

Louis let out a small noise at the man’s candid speaking, the way that he had casually said that he was his daddy. And he couldn’t disagree. It made him feel fuzzy, hearing Harry call himself that.

 

Changing the subject, Louis asked, “Is Nicky gonna be home?”

 

Harry smiled at the boy’s nickname, “Yep! He’ll be there. I’m sure he missed you while he was at work.” Louis blushed at the prospect of Nick wanting to see him, knowing that he had found himself missing the man a bit during the day. Not that he’d ever admit it.

 

Once back at Harry’s, the boys hopped out of the car and bid adieu to the security guards.

 

Stepping into the house, Louis let out a breath. He felt safe here; he knew that he could be himself with no judging eyes. He smiled genuinely for the first time that day. He saw Nick standing in the kitchen with his back to him and his eyes lit up. He wasn’t sure what came over him, but he bounded over to the man and hugged him. Nick startled a bit, surprised by the sudden hug, but smiled when he turned around and saw Louis.

 

“Hi cub, what a warm welcome! Did you have a good day?” Nick’s smile was electric, the man over the moon with Louis’ affection. The little nodded, giving Nick a squeeze before letting go.

 

As much as Harry loved watching his two favorite boys together, he knew that he’d love for Louis not to get a rash even more. “Someone needs a change, hm?”

 

Louis blushed, nodding minutely before answering exasperatedly, “I couldn’t say anything without the boys knowing!”

 

“Love, you can pull me aside and tell me. I promise you that the boys aren’t as observant as you think they are.”

 

He nodded, not wanting to argue over something so embarrassing even further. He held his arms up to Nick, wanting the man to pick him up. He was exhausted after such a long day and in dire need of a nap. Once he was laying on the changing table, he yawned.

 

“Ready for a nap?” Nick asked, making quick work of changing the boy. Harry brought over a sleeper that was decorated with the Avengers symbol, Louis smiling when he saw it.

 

Louis nodded, “I don’t know why I’m so tired.”

 

Harry answered, “It’s your body changing. As you become more comfortable with your regression, your body allows itself to relax into the lifestyle of someone the age of your headspace. Just means that you’ll need an afternoon nap so you’re not as sleepy!”

 

Nick lifted Louis up gently and placed him in the crib. The little grabbed the pacifier that was still there from this morning and placed it in his mouth. He fell asleep almost instantly, hugging his lion close to his side. They made sure to leave the side of the crib down, not wanting the boy to feel overwhelmed or anxious when he woke up.

 

Harry and Nick had around an hour to themselves before they heard a rustling on the baby monitor, Nick going to get Louis while Harry finished up dinner.

 

“Did you have a good nap, cub?” Nick asked as he walked in. Louis nodded, still feeling a bit drowsy. He woke up feeling calm, excited at the prospect of a night of just being himself. It was strange, the concept of “himself”. At this point he wasn’t really sure who that was, but he had time to figure it out, and he knew that he would. He knew that he wasn’t the Louis that the world knew, but the new Louis was not yet to be seen.

 

Carrying him downstairs, Nick told Louis about his day and how Fiona had found her sub. Once in the kitchen, Nick sat with Louis on his lap. The boy giggled as he watched Harry dance dorkily around the kitchen, the daddy putting on an act for his giggling boy.

 

“All right! Dinner’s ready boys, time for some yummy chicken.” Harry carried the food over to the already set table, grabbing Louis a sippy cup to drink out of.

 

“Love, we got you a highchair from YSL. Would you like to sit in it or would you like to sit in a chair?” Nick asked the boy seated on his lap.

 

“Wanna sit here,” Louis said, leaning back into Nick’s chest.

 

Nick wasn’t able to say no to the boy, simply shifting him so that he could be fed with ease. Harry made them up a plate piled with enough food for both of them to eat before digging into his own food.

 

Louis hummed at the taste of the chicken he was being fed, loving how delicious Harry’s cooking was.

 

Nick stabbed some green beans onto the fork, bringing them up to Louis’ lips. The boy refused to open his mouth, shaking his head back and forth. He wouldn’t open his mouth to refuse out loud; he didn’t want Nick slipping any of the vegetables in his mouth.

 

He waved the vegetables back and forth, “Open your mouth Lou! They’re good, I promise.”

 

Louis shook his head even faster, looking up to the man with what he considered to be a stern look. Harry stared on in amusement, watching Nick try to be stern while the little boy refused to listen.

 

“Watch! I’ll eat them, then you’ll see how good they are,” Nick made a show of eating the green beans, swallowing them with a smile on his face.

 

Louis patted Nick’s cheek softly, “Nicky, I am good at sharing, you can have my beans. Can I have your dessert?” The boy looked at Nick with sweet, wide eyes like he believed what he was saying was fair.

 

Harry and Nick burst out laughing, unable to keep it in. The boy was too cute for his own good.

 

“I’m not too sure about that, sweetheart, but you don’t have to eat any veggies tonight. We’ll have to work on that,” Nick answered, pressing a kiss to the Louis’ cheek.

 

Sitting up straight, Louis looked at Harry who was texting someone back. It made him feel stupid as he watched, realizing that he hadn’t checked his phone in days. It wasn’t something that was smart as he was a world famous band member, constantly receiving emails and texts from his management.

 

“Do you have my phone? I don’t know where I put it,” Louis said, expecting the men to know where it was.

 

“Yep, I’ve got it,” Harry said, “if you want to go sit down on the couch I’ll grab it for you before I clean up in here.”

 

Louis nodded, starting to stand up. He thanked Harry for dinner before walking into the living room, cuddling up on the couch. E! News was on, and a video of Zayn and Perrie leaving a restaurant was playing. Louis would never truly understand how their lives were considered news. He didn’t get why anyone cared what they did, how it was different than anyone else. They just wanted to make music; they didn’t want to become a public spectacle. But that was part of the music industry these days it seemed.

 

“Are you excited to go to theirs on Halloween? It seems like Zayn is pretty smitten with Perrie from what I’ve heard,” Harry said casually, walking into the room.

 

“Yeah, just nervous. There’ll be a lot of people there,” Louis said, grabbing his phone from Harry’s outstretched hand.

 

Harry didn’t reply as he saw Louis start scrolling through his phone. He watched to see the boy’s reaction to his mum’s texts. He knew that Louis saw them when his face drained of its color, the boy reaching up to yank a piece of his hair harshly. Harry didn’t move from where he was sat on the reclining chair, not wanting to make the boy panic.

 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Louis whispered frantically. He couldn’t believe that he forgot to put money in his mum’s account, but more than that, he couldn’t believe she’d already hit the spending limit. He’d put 15,000 pounds on the card just three weeks ago, he didn’t understand how she spent so much so quickly, that was the fastest that she’d ever spent that kind of money.

 

“Are you okay, Louis?” Harry asked, unable to sit by idly any longer. The boy looked up at him with pained eyes, shaking his head quickly. The daddy moved over next to him, wrapping his arms around the little.

 

“’m so stupid,” he cried.

 

“No you’re not, love, whatever is wrong we can fix it, I promise. But you’re not dumb, you’ve to stop saying that because it isn’t true.”

 

“My mum,” he started, unsure of how to explain what was going on. Nick had walked into the room, sitting down next to Harry. He was frightened that he’d overwhelm the boy if one of the daddies was on either side of him, so he took the safe route.

 

“My mum, she… was disappointed in me my whole life. Still is, even. She knew I was gonna be a little and hated it. She’s so ashamed. Never talks to me besides to ask for money.” Louis wasn’t crying as he spoke, so used to the way that his mum treated him that he couldn’t even find the tears to shed over it.

 

Harry grabbed Nick’s hand with his own, needing the strength of his partner. This was everything that they didn’t want to hear, to know that Louis’ own mother was the reason that he was ashamed to be who he was.

 

“To have your own parent tell you they’re ashamed of your classification is beyond my comprehension,” Harry answered honestly, “but we need you to know that she’s wrong. That vein of thinking is archaic. There’s no embarrassment in being who you are, regardless of your job or gender. Look at Victoria Beckham; she’s one of the most famous people on earth and she’s a little. Does anyone make her feel bad for who she is? No, they don’t, because it’s okay that she’s a little. And it’s okay that you’re a little and that Nick is a daddy and I’m a daddy. We are who we are; it’s as simple as that. But I know that it isn’t easy to swallow. Nick and I are your daddies, we are here to protect you and love you and make you feel safe. Your mum is wrong.”

 

Louis ignored the emotion behind Harry’s words, unable to think about the implications of being a little in one of the most famous groups of all time right now.

 

“I always give her money. I gave her 15,000 pounds three weeks ago and she’s already spent it all. That’s the only time she ever messages me. It hurts me,” Louis whimpers. Five years full of giving his mum money, only to receive messages when she spends it too quickly and needs more.

 

“It’s up to you whether or not you continue to give her money, you don’t have to. It’s your money. We haven’t had an ABC, obviously, and we don’t have to. If you want to give your mum money you can, but if it makes you feel that bad then you can cut her out of your life easily.” Nick said honestly. Louis seemed to be as adult as ever right now, and Nick wanted to get this figured out. He really just wanted Louis’ mum out of the picture, the woman having impacted the boy so negatively throughout the years.

 

“Is it bad that I don’t want to? She hurts my feelings. She tells me ‘m a bad boy, that no one is gonna want a little boy like me. All she cares about is my money, she never asks me how I’m doing or congratulates me. I just- I just didn’t think that’s what a mum was.” Louis was curling in on himself by the end of his monologue, the feelings that thinking about the woman invoked almost too much for him.

 

“We all know that she’s wrong; you’re a good boy, Louis. Our best boy. We want you to be ours, and we’ve already shown you that and will continue to do so until you want us to stop. But that’s beside the point. If you don’t want to give her money, then you can not text her back. We can get you a new phone and that’ll be that. You deserve a life full of happiness, and it’s clear she doesn’t make you happy,” Nick said.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna think about it. You promise it doesn’t make me a bad boy if I don’t give her money?” Louis asked, eyes gazing upon the daddies with innocent worry.

 

They both shook their heads profusely, Harry answering with a firm, “Nope, never a bad boy, Loulou. Pinky promise.”

 

Harry held out his pinky, Louis giggling before locking his with the daddy’s. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders after the conversation. He’d kept his feelings about his mother to himself for years and years, bearing the hate of her words like a million stab wounds to the heart. To hear that he wasn’t a bad boy from Nick and Harry, from two men that he trusted, meant the world to him. He could start fresh with a clean slate, no longer stressed by the burden that his mother put onto him. He deserved more than that feeling of despair and being used, didn’t he? If Harry and Nick said it, then it had to be true. It had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it! as always, thank you SO much for your comments. they're the reason that I continue to write, your thoughts and enthusiasm about the story make me so very happy. 
> 
> the official twitter of this fic is @needaherofic! follow me/dm me if you'd like to talk, I love hearing from yall.
> 
> I hope to have the next chapter up by Friday! have a wonderful week, good luck on finals if you have them!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are! 10,000 words. enjoy! 
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic

Eleven days was all he got. Eleven days of Nick and Harry’s undivided attention, eleven days of slowly becoming comfortable with who he was. Eleven days of figuring out who he was, slowly, but surely. Eleven days with a new phone, no sign of his mum’s negative influence. Eleven days of figuring out how he was going to tell the boys, the most important people in his life. Eleven days of realizing that he didn’t want the world to know until after tour. Eleven days.

 

And on the twelfth day, the headline **LITTLE LOUIS TOMLINSON: Mother Tells All** appeared on the front page of The Sun. He woke up like he normally would, Harry coming in to get him as Nick was already at work. He still blushed when he was being changed; he wasn’t sure the small bit of embarrassment he felt would ever go away. Rehearsals with Helene had begun and Louis couldn’t be more excited for tour. Once downstairs, the boy was placed onto the couch with his phone as normal. Louis was finding himself wanting to deal with his phone less and less, and Nick and Harry were more than happy to reply to his emails and keep in communication with Alberto. As tour hadn’t started yet, there was not much dialogue needed to be had with their management. They were planning on sitting down with the relevant management and PR people before they left for tour; it was a conversation Louis was scared to have, but he knew it was necessary. And his daddies would be there, so he knew he’d be okay. His daddies, something he had taken to calling them in his head, but he couldn’t out loud. It was like he was waiting for the right time, for the perfect moment to spring up where he could start calling his daddies just that.

 

Louis’ stomach dropped when he hit the home button on his phone, seeing that he had myriad missed texts, from the boys, management, Alberto, essentially everyone who had his phone number. Scared to check his texts, he went to twitter, knowing that his timeline would tell him everything he needed to know. He let out a pained cry after reading the first tweet he saw, unable to comprehend what his eyes were seeing. There was a picture of The Sun’s front cover exclaiming: **LITTLE LOUIS TOMLINSON: Mother Tells All**. It happened. It shouldn’t have happened. He couldn’t breathe.

 

His ears couldn’t hear, his eyes couldn’t see, his brain felt like it was going to explode. All he could think was about everyone’s reaction when they found out that he was a little. That he lied to them for years. His life was over. The band was over. Everything good in his life was coming to a close right before his eyes.

 

Harry felt like a fucking idiot. He checked his phone for the first time while making Louis’ morning bottle, seeing texts fly in from Nick exclaiming that he was coming home, that he needed to see Louis.

 

_FUCK_

_Just got word of the suns headline. Louis’ mum ratted him out._

_Released it around thirty min. ago._

_Don’t wake him up yet. Freaking out._

_About to leave work. Text u on my way home._

 

He heard a pained scream as he was finishing up reading, quickly running into the living room. Louis’ face was white and his body was shaking, the boy having a panic attack. Harry moved over to Louis, starting to coach the boy through his breathing. It took over ten minutes for him to have his breathing return to normal.

 

Louis couldn’t stop crying, he felt like he was being stabbed all over his body. He couldn’t handle this. He was going to tell the world on his terms, in the way that he wanted, but now everyone knew. And it all happened at the hands of his own mother. How was he handed such a bad hand in life? He couldn’t comprehend what he did to deserve this no matter how hard he thought about it.

 

“Louis, love, look at me please. It’s going to be okay, I promise it’ll be okay,” Harry repeated over and over, rubbing the boy’s back softly.

 

The little opened his eyes, looking up at Harry, breathing heavy. He’d never looked more distraught, tears falling in streams down his face, cheeks blotchy and red.

 

Harry took the time to continue speaking now that the boy was looking at him: “It’ll be okay, my sweet boy, everything will be okay. Nick and I are here, we’re going to make sure everything’s okay.”

 

Louis’ sobs picked up at his words, throwing himself into the man’s lap with a cry of “Daddy”.

 

He finally said it, he’d finally granted Harry the highest honor that a p-dom could receive; a name from their little. But Harry didn’t feel any excitement at it, not when his baby had called him it out of distress. He knew that his boy needed him, and he would live up to all of the expectations that the word daddy came with.

 

“That’s right, daddy’s here,” Harry soothed, moving the boy into a more comfortable position on his lap. There was nothing that Harry could do besides speak gently to Louis and hold him tightly, and that was the worst part of all of this. He wanted nothing more than to go back in time and send Louis’ mum money, just so that his baby boy wouldn’t be suffering as much as he was right now. The garage door sounded, and shortly afterwards the front door opened and closed quickly. Harry looked up at Nick’s pale face, eyes alight with worry for the little boy that was bundled on his lap.

 

Nick moved to sit next to Harry, cautiously placing a hand on Louis’ back. The crying boy looked at Nick, his expression breaking the daddy’s heart. He reached a hand out, wanting to feel both of his daddies surrounding him. He needed them.

 

The past eleven days had shown him that he couldn’t do this alone, and he wasn’t sure what had ever made him think he could. He knew that the men would provide him with everything he needed, be it help, love, or guidance. That was who he was, like it or not. It had been eleven days, a small number that felt like a lifetime in a way. He knew that he had a long way to go, but he was getting there.

 

With both of his daddies shrouding him in cuddles, Louis continued to cry. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do.

 

Once his crying slowed a while later, Louis sat up in Harry’s lap, addressing the men.

 

“Everyone knows. I was supposed to tell them! It’s too soon, it’s too soon.”

 

Nick sighed before answering, “Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to, and this is a very big thing. I wish we could turn back time, but we can’t. Do you trust your daddies to help you?”

 

Louis nodded, eyes wide.

 

“Good, because we will do everything we can to make you comfortable, love.” Harry promised, “Now there are a few things we can do. Do you want to talk to the boys right now? Rehearsals start in forty minutes. We can do this one of two ways: we can both go or I can go so they don’t suspect anything going on with the both of us. Take some time to think about it.”

 

Thinking about it, Louis realized that there was no way the boys would believe him, not if his own mum ratted him out.

 

“Maybe you go. I-I just don’t want them knowing everything yet. It’s too early. I need to feel like I have some bit of control over my life, you know? I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings.” Louis’ stomach clenched at his own words, scared that he’d offended Harry. Him and Nick were doing so much for him and he didn’t even want the world to know, could there be a worse little?

 

Harry was quick to reply, “Lou, baby, of course that doesn’t hurt my feelings. We are willing to wait as long as you need to tell people.”

 

Louis looked up at him gratefully before wrapping his arms around the man from where he was seated on his lap.

 

He took a deep breath before whispering, “Thank you, daddy”. He liked the way his stomach swooped when he said the word, the way it made him feel warm inside.

 

Harry cooed, feeling his heart soar at the use of the word. “Anything for you, my sweet boy.”

 

Nick wasn’t upset; he really wasn’t. Logically, he understood why the boy would give Harry a name first. He had been close with Harry for five years; he knew Harry on a friend level, he trusted Harry. It wasn’t to say that he didn’t think Louis trusted him, he knew he did. It would just take him time to get to that level with Nick. And the man was okay with it, he knew the day Louis gave him a name was drawing closer and closer. He could wait.

 

“All right, love, I’m going to have to get up now to get ready to go. My phone’s buzzing, I assume it’s Dale out front. I’ll take care of everything, okay? Just try and relax with Nicky.”

 

Louis crawled into Nick’s lap, needing to feel the comfort of a warm body. Harry leaned over, pressing a kiss to Louis’ cheek and one to Nick’s lips.

 

“Nick, just check your phone, I’ll let you know what’s going on. Love you both.”

 

Once Harry left, the two remaining men just sat snuggled up in a comfortable silence. It was what Louis needed, and Nick was more than happy to give it to him. The boy allowed himself to relax his mind; there was no reason for him to be big, his daddies would take care of everything. The silence was broken when Louis’ stomach grumbled loudly, the boy realizing for the first time how hungry he was.

 

“Baba?” Louis asked in a soft voice, rubbing his cheek against Nick’s t-shirt.

 

“Of course, little cub, you stay right here and I’ll go make you one.”

 

When he came back armed with a warm bottle, Louis crawled onto Nick’s lap and positioned himself, eager to drink the formula. It was quickly growing to be Nick’s favorite activity, giving the boy a bottle. It was a time when Louis was completely dependent on him, looking up to him with wide eyes, letting out snuffly little breaths. It allowed him to truly bask in the perfection that was their little boy.

 

Nick felt the boy wetting his diaper while he drank, something that was becoming a normal thing. He figured he’d just give Louis a bath after he finished up his breakfast, knowing that the boy’s mood would brighten at the prospect of bubbles. He knew that bath time was Louis’ favorite activity, loving the ridiculous amount of toys that he had. Louis’ first full on tantrum was the result of Harry not being able to find the pirate ship that they had bought at YSL when Louis asked for it. The boy screamed and cried until he had a new one, courtesy of Alberto running out to Baby, Baby and getting one at Harry’s request. It was apparent that no one could resist the little’s charm; Nick couldn’t blame them.

 

Once Louis had finished up the bottle Nick burped him gently, humming a tune.

 

“Guess what time it is?” Nick sang.

 

Louis let out a little gasp, turning to look the man in his eyes. “Bath time?”

 

“That’s right! Bath time!” Nick answered. Louis clapped his hands together, pressing a quick kiss onto Nick’s cheek. The boy was getting less and less hesitant with his affection as he became more regressed. It pained Nick and Harry to watch the way that he would lean into them and move away quickly as if he’d been burnt. The daddies learned quickly that praise and returned affection helped the boy become more comfortable. Louis liked knowing that the men were happy with him, and they were willing to give the boy their approval whenever he needed it, even though that turned out to be quite often.

 

Baths were probably the best thing in the world, Louis thought. Warm water, nice smelling bubbles, and fun toys… what could be better? Louis was quickly figuring out that his little space was everything he needed in life. It allowed him to take a step away from the worries of the world and the pressures of being a world famous singer and just feel. If someone were to ever ask him how it felt to regress, he doesn’t think he could answer. It was something fluid, there was no “adult” mindset that transitioned to a “little” headspace, it was just something that happened. He found himself living in what would be considered his “adult” headspace less and less, more content being little. It was what he needed.

 

\---------------

Harry hopped in the backseat of the car, and less than a millisecond later Alberto started firing questions at him.

 

“Where’s Louis? Is he okay? What the fuck happened?”

 

He braced himself for a day full of questions.

 

“He’s about as fine as you could expect him to be. Obviously, he isn’t coming to rehearsals today. He doesn’t want the boys to know, but I know I don’t have to tell you to keep it quiet.”

 

Alberto let out a pained sigh, “God, that kid deserves so much better than the shit card he’s been handed. Hopefully things can only go up from here.”

 

Dale let out a noise of agreement, not wanting to interrupt. As a bodyguard he’d learned the beauty of knowing when to talk and when to listen.

 

“Nick and I are going to do everything we can to make him happy, it’s what he deserves. I just need you to make sure the media and fans stay away from him when he decides to go outside. I mean, tour starts in less than two weeks, so he doesn’t have that much time. We just need to make it easy for him.”

 

“Anything he needs,” Alberto answered, knowing that he truly would do anything for Louis.

 

Harry guessed that there were around a hundred fans at the studio, way more than would normally show up on a day where they knew the boys wouldn’t come out to take photos. Paparazzi had pushed their way in front of the fans, something that always served to make Harry irrationally pissed off.

 

“Looks like the circus has arrived,” the daddy said irately.

 

“Let’s get you inside,” Dale said, stopping the car. There was a gate separating them from the fans, but the second that the door opened the screams picked up. The paparazzi automatically started shouting questions once they realized it was Harry in the car.

 

“Harry! Where’s Louis?”

“How long have you known?”

“Has he asked you to be his p-dom yet?”

“Does he wear diapers or his arse naturally that big?”

 

Harry would’ve killed the paparazzi that asked the last question if Dale and Alberto weren’t pushing him inside. Once the door shut, he let out a groan, running his hands through his hair. Was there no such thing as respect?

 

“Do they just have no regard for the law?” Harry asked, frustrated. The law required that there be no picture taking of any littles in an unorganized setting, similar to the laws that were in place for true children of celebrities. Pictures were allowed to be taken at red carpet events and awards shows, but not random places. It made sense; while a little was in their headspace, just like a true child, paparazzi would be frightening or disorienting.

 

“Of course they don’t; this is breaking news, the amount of money that they’d make from this overrules any sense of remorse they’d feel at taking pictures of an exposed little. It’s disgusting,” Alberto fumed, shaking his head.

 

Harry walked into the open room of the studio to immediately be surrounded by his three bandmates.

 

They all spoke at once, but Harry decided to answer Liam’s simple question, “Is he okay?”

 

“Um, he’s not really doing well. I called him a million times this morning until he finally picked up. He’s not coming, obviously.”

 

Liam furrowed his brow, “So it’s true then? He’s not a gad?”

 

“From what I could tell, yeah. It’s true.” Harry was surprised at how easily his lies came, internally laughing when he thought about how far his acting had come since Icarly.

 

Niall, ever the calm one, clapped his hands together exclaiming, “Well, it kinda makes sense once you really think about it. He’s sweet, little, and innocent; no reason to think too hard about it, we’re gonna treat him the same way we always did. Time to rehearse?”

 

The boys all laughed at Niall’s rationale, standing up and walking to where the band and Helene were waiting to begin. Harry was relieved; that was easier than he thought it’d be.

 

Rehearsal went well until Jackie from PR and Timothy from Modest busted in like the villains in a James Bond movie. Harry had mentally prepared himself for their management to come, but he was hoping it wasn’t them. Let’s just say that they are very good at their jobs, and are about as terrifying as a great white shark swimming under you while a huge wave is coming up as you’re trying to run out.

 

The band stopped playing their instruments as the two walked in, everyone quickly leaving the room besides the four bandmates. They walked over to the couch that sat in the corner of the room, Liam pulling up two chairs for the executives. Sitting was a good idea; it looked like it was going to be a long afternoon.

 

“So, who knew?” Jackie asked them, voice sharp. She was everything that a public relations director should be; sharp, quick as a whip, and scary enough to get every publication to do her bidding.

 

The boys sat and stared at her, all of them shaking their heads.

 

“None of you knew? I find that extremely hard to believe.”

 

Liam answered, “We were just as in the dark as you were. When someone works that hard to hide something, they aren’t going to tell anyone.”

 

Timothy cut in, “Where is he?”

 

The boys looked to Harry to answer, “He’s at home. I called him a good amount of times before he answered; he’s distraught and embarrassed, which is understandable.”

 

Harry held his breath as he waited to see their replies to his words. He was shocked to see what could be considered a sympathetic look on Jackie’s face.

 

“Poor kid, I can’t even imagine what he feels like. I can’t imagine my little girl’s mum oppressing her and then exposing her. What a disgusting woman.”

 

The boys all looked shocked, none of them knowing that Jackie was a p-dom. It kind of made sense, the way that she was always harping on the boys and making sure that they were following her instructions to a T.

 

“So you’re not mad at him?” Zayn asked, wanting to clarify what they were all thinking.

 

“Why the bloody hell would we be mad at him? He’s a lost little boy who was closeted by his own mum. I wouldn’t be a decent person or p-dom myself if we blamed him. Sure, this is going to be a lot of work to figure out, but we can do it.”

 

Harry wanted to cry in relief at her words. He had preached to Louis endlessly that his mum was of a small, small group of people on earth who classification shamed, and he would’ve hated to have lied to the boy. To hear the people in charge of their fate as a band be on his side was heavenly.

 

“I guess what we want to see is if there’s anything we can do for Louis. Obviously, we would like the tour to occur in November as it is supposed to, but we can push it back,” Timothy said.

 

The boys looked to Harry to answer, knowing that the daddy knew Louis better than anyone else, and that he was the only one who’d spoken to him.

 

“It’s all pretty standard stuff from our end, I think. Making sure there are no paps, no rude signs at shows, not that I think our fans would have them, but just in case. No interviews until he’s ready, nothing that would stress him out more than necessary. He obviously wasn’t ready to, you know, tell people, so I can’t imagine how hard this is for him. I think you’ll have to ask him what else he wants to do.”

 

“All right, well, you have our information. Whenever one of you talks to him just call us. We can meet here or at the office when he’s ready, just give him our best,” Jackie said, standing up.

 

After the two had left, the boys stood up and stretched.

 

“Well, I think that’s good for today, right boys?” Liam asked, seeing that the band and Helene had left.

 

“Agreed,” Zayn said, “do you think Lou will still want to come to my house on Saturday?”

 

Niall answered, “Shoot him a text and tell him it’ll be low key and you want him to be there. He’s never liked making any of ya sad, he’ll show up. Ya know I’ll be there, already have my costume and everything.”

 

Harry hoped that Louis would want to go, already having bought his costume for him. He was happy to finally be on the way home, excited to see how his boys were doing at home. It was hard to be away from them for so long; Harry didn’t want to think of how difficult tour would be once it started, in less than two weeks, nonetheless.

 

He walked inside the house, closing the door quietly. Knowing that it was around Louis’ usual naptime, he didn’t want to wake the boy up if he was asleep. Walking into the living room, he saw the cutest sight on the face of the earth. Nick was laying on his back asleep, arms wrapped around a passed out Louis who was laying on his chest, clothed in only a onesie, diaper puffing out around his legs. Harry couldn’t help but take a picture, or fifty, loving how sweet his boys were. Not wanting to wake them up, he went to start on dinner. Louis was starting to show small changes in his diet, veering away from harder foods that were harsh on his stomach and wanting to eat softer things. He’d been loving all types of noodles, and Harry was more than willing to make whatever the boy wanted. Harry had started to make two different meals, one for Louis and one for him and Nick. It was no problem, as he loved cooking and just wanted to keep both of his boys happy.

 

As he was plating up the food, he heard Louis start to cry from the living room. The boy would wake up disoriented from his naps, crying until him or Nick picked him up. Harry walked into the room quickly, cooing at his little boy.

 

“It’s all right, sweetheart, I’m right here,” Harry picked the sniffling boy up, immediately realizing that he needed a diaper change. Nick started to wake up as Louis was lifted off of him, unsure of when he’d fallen asleep.

 

Louis nuzzled into Harry’s neck, letting out a small yawn. As he was placed down on the changing table, he asked a question quietly. “Are they mad at me?”

 

“Love, no one is mad at you. The boys wanted to make sure you were okay, you have lots of nice texts from them waiting on your phone if you want to read them. Tim and Jackie even came to see if you were at the studio today; everyone is on your side, they love you.” Harry realized that there were two mindsets that Louis was falling into. He was either completely little, not really understanding what Harry and Nick were saying, or in a middle state, understanding what was being said to him, but responding as though he truly was a toddler. It was getting easier for the daddies to figure out which mindset he was in, his actions making it evident where exactly his mind was.

 

“Okay. Can I have Lacy?”

 

“Of course, just let me finish up.” Harry finished taping up his new diaper before grabbing a pair of sweatpants, not wanting the boy to be cold while he ate dinner.

 

The boy snatched Lacy out of Harry’s outstretched hand, cuddling her between his chest and Harry’s shoulder. Once downstairs, he was strapped into his highchair. Louis wasn’t sure what he’d thought of it at first, but he’d grown to love it. He could put Lacy on the little tray and so she had the chance to watch him while his daddies fed him and he loved it.

 

“Hi love, we had a good little kip, didn’t we?” Nick asked, walking over to sit down next to Louis. The boy’s highchair was placed in between the two men’s chairs so that he didn’t have to choose who he would sit next to. They’d quickly found out that he didn’t want to make any decisions that would hurt one of their feelings. He was too sweet to comprehend.

 

“Yeah!” Louis answered, “Didn’t get to finish guppies, though.”

 

“That’s all right love, I’m sure you can figure out another time for us to watch it!”

 

Nick and Harry could not stand Bubble Guppies. If they had one wish granted, it would be to go back in time so that the show was never created. It featured a class of fish-children, whatever they were, and their adventures. Their voices were high-pitched, the outcome of the show was obvious, and they sang awful songs. But Louis, Louis absolutely LOVED the guppies. It had quickly grown to be his favorite show, much to Nick and Harry’s chagrin. The men had ordered him pajamas, shirts, sippy cups, pacifiers, diapers, and toys featuring the characters that they had gotten custom made at YSL a few days ago and were waiting for them to show up. They may hate the show, but they couldn’t wait to see the little boy’s face when he received his presents. They were officially wrapped around Louis’ finger.

 

“Here we are,” Harry exclaimed, setting dinner on the table. He’d made chicken macaroni and cheese for Louis and a pot roast for him and Nick. Louis drummed his fingers on the plastic tray attached to his highchair in excitement, ready to eat his daddy’s yummy food. He took a big sip of juice out of his sippy cup while he waited for one of his daddies to start feeding him. He was nervous to see what his daddy would have to say about what had happened at rehearsal, even though he said that everything was okay.

 

Nick quickly fell into their normal dinner routine, feeding Louis a bite and then feeding himself. Curiosity killed the cat, Nick thought, unable to stop himself from asking about what had happened that day.

 

“How were rehearsals?”

 

“They went well, we’re essentially ready to start touring. Everyone was worried about Lou, someone from Modest! and our PR firm even came in.”

 

The men gauged Louis’ reaction to this, waiting to see if he’d reply before resuming their conversation.

 

“Do I still get to tour?” Louis asked, looking at Harry with a concerned expression.

 

“Do you want to tour?” Harry asked.

 

Louis nodded vigorously, “Please, I really wanna tour, daddy! I got to write songs and now I want to sing them.”

 

Harry chuckled, “Such nice manners, Loulou! Of course you can tour, everyone would like that very much.”

 

Louis smiled, opening his mouth for more food. Well… that was that, it seemed. The men knew that tomorrow would be a different story when Louis was expected to be at rehearsals, but they’d cross that bridge when it came.

 

Bubble Guppies was turned on while Harry and Nick cleaned up the kitchen, Louis sitting on the couch with a pacifier and Lacy to keep him company.

 

“So it was fine?” Nick asked as soon as they were alone, desperate to hear how the day had gone.

 

“Truthfully, it was perfectly fine. I was a bit shocked; when I saw Timothy and Jackie from management walk in I thought they were going to freak out. Turns out that Jackie is a p-dom, so she was disgusted by what his mum did.”

 

“Thank God,” Nick breathed a sigh of relief, “I’ve been a bit panicky all day. Do you think he’ll want to go tomorrow?”

 

“Knowing him, yes. He won’t want to let anyone down. I think we should read a few texts from the lads out to him so he sees that they’re not upset with him and he’s less nervous to go in tomorrow.”

 

Nick walked to where Harry was standing by the kitchen counter, turning the man around and kissing him. “You’re a good daddy, love. I am eternally grateful that fate brought us Louis and each other.”

 

Harry wrapped his arms around Nick, squeezing him tightly. He whispered into his boyfriend’s ear, “Me too, love. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

Right before Louis was fed his night bottle, Nick pulled the boy onto his lap on the couch. His eyes were slowly drooping, a telltale sign that the little was close to falling asleep.

 

“Can you stay awake for me, love?” Harry asked, rubbing his hand up and down the boy’s arm. Louis nodded slowly, looking at Harry.

 

“We just wanted to read you some of the nice notes that the boys sent you. You can decide whether or not you want to go to rehearsals tomorrow, but I know they’d want you to hear what they had to say,” Nick said, pressing a kiss to Louis’ cheek.

 

“This one is from Zayn: _‘hey Lou, just wanted to let you know I love ya and that’s never gonna change, okay? You could have yellow skin, purple hair, and fifty eyeballs and I’d still think you were the greatest person on earth. Love ya, kiddo. Hope to see you soon.'_ ”

 

Louis giggled at Zayn’s words, blushing softly. He leaned back into Nick’s chest, grabbing the man’s hand and moving it to his stomach. Over the time he’d spent with the men, he’d found out that Nick gave the best tummy rubs. Nick let out a small chuckle before starting to rub Louis’ tummy, loving the happy hum the little let out at the feeling.

 

“All right, this one’s from Liam. Lots of spelling errors, as usual, but I think I’ve the gist of it: _‘hiiii Tommo, I hope you know that you’re the greatest person I know. I’ve always admired how brave and strong you are, and now that is even more true. This doesn’t change anything, I love ya forever mate’._ ”

 

The little was smiling at his bandmate’s words, happy to hear that they weren’t mad at him for hiding such a huge part of himself from them. There were only a few people on this earth who Louis could say truly mattered to him, and his bandmates existed as the majority of that few. This was the best news he could ever hear.

 

“Well… Niall used a lot of naughty words in his texts, so I’ll read parts of it. _‘Louis, Tommo, mate, you’re not a gad? I apologize for the times I asked you if you wanted to go get some…’_ all right… next text it is. _‘But really, I love ya mate. I think I’ve always kinda known, in a weird way. You’re sweeter than anyone I’ve ever met, and ya have those Puss in Boots eyes, so cute and innocent. If you ever need someone to watch Shrek with, just let me know. That’s what littles do, isn’t it? Watch good movies? I like good movies, too. Love ya Lou babe, hope to see you tomorrow.'_ ”

 

As Harry finished reading, the three in the room burst into hysterics. Niall’s honesty was absolutely hilarious and heartwarming. He had such good intentions, but he never knew how to say what he wanted to say. It was part of his charm, Harry thought.

 

Once they stopped laughing Louis spoke, “Tell them I love them, please.”

 

“Anything for you, lovey,” Harry said, typing to Zayn, Liam, and Niall in a groupchat.

 

“Don’t need anything, daddy,” Louis yawned, “Just my baba.”

 

Harry chuckled, “I’ll go get your baba right now, sweetheart.” He would never understand how he was blessed with the sweetest and most innocent little boy on earth.

 

Louis woke up feeling calm the next morning, but more coherent than he was yesterday. It was quite odd to be able to feel himself be in a different headspace but not be able to really do anything about it. He didn’t really mind, but it was just something he didn’t think he’d ever be able to understand.

 

Like clockwork, his daddy walked into the room.

 

“Morning love! Did you sleep well?” Louis nodded, sitting up so that Harry could pick him up easier.

 

As Harry changed his diaper he asked him, “As we said yesterday, it’s your choice, we won’t be mad either way; would you like to go to rehearsals today?”

 

Louis nodded, having thought of his decision since yesterday afternoon. “Yeah, but I don’t want anyone to see me.”

 

“All right, love, let’s get you dressed and downstairs for your bottle and then we can figure it all out.”

 

Harry dressed Louis in a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, knowing that no paps who got a picture of him would be able to tell he was wearing a diaper. Once downstairs, Harry set Louis up on his lap with a bottle. He dialed Alberto’s number, wanting to figure out if extra security would be available.

 

“Harry? Everything okay?” Alberto answered, speaking quickly.

 

“Yeah, everything’s okay. Lou wants to come today, he just wants to make sure that no one can get near him. Do you think we could figure something out?”

 

The guard replied almost instantly, “No problem; I’ll have Basil, Paddy, Phil, and Preston come out. Phil wasn’t going to work today, but I told him to be on call just in case. We’ll get him in easily, tell him not to worry. I’ll see you guys in twenty five.”

 

After thanking the guard, Harry hung up. Louis was looking up at him as he continued to drink his formula.

 

“Alberto said not to worry, that he’ll take good care of you. Everything will be fine, I promise!”

 

Louis looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes, feeling anxious about what was to come. It wasn’t as much having the boys know, but it was the fans and the media. The media had always been something that frightened Louis, the way that they would twist stories and ruin celebrities’ images with one single story. He was naturally a very positive person, so to see such a negative industry made him upset. He didn’t want to know what was being said about him, and he was going to try to keep it that way. He would trust his daddies to let him know what he needed to know, and that was good enough for him.

 

Once in the car, Louis felt like he was going to throw up. Alberto and Dale kept looking back at him, concerned looks on their faces.

 

“I can’t do it,” Louis choked out, breathing heavily.

 

Harry quickly pulled the boy on his lap, cooing softly. “It’s okay, love, we can turn around.”

 

“They’re gonna hate me, the fans aren’t ever going to come to see us again,” Louis cried, rubbing his teary eyes on Harry’s shirt.

 

“That’s not true, babe, when we get to the studio you will see how many fans are still here. And they’re here for you! They think you’re just as brave as I do, I promise.”

 

Niall had sent Harry a picture of hundreds of fans stationed outside of the studio, all of them carrying paper signs that proclaimed “LOUIS WE LOVE YOU” in the shape of a heart. The daddy’s heart felt like it was going to explode with love for their fans. He knew that was what Louis needed to see.

 

“Sorry to interrupt lads,” Dale said, “but we’re pulling near to the gates now. Give me the word if you want to turn around.”

 

“No, no, no, we can go, I just don’t want anyone to see me.” Louis repeated, wiping tears off his face with shaky hands.

 

“The security team is already outside, bud, no one will see you, promise.” Alberto said.

 

“Look out the window, Loulou,” Harry said. Louis’ jaw dropped when he saw hundreds of fans with signs for him, all of them reading the same message of “LOUIS WE LOVE YOU”. They didn’t scream as the escalade drove by, simply standing and holding their signs up. Harry couldn’t help but choke up, overwhelmingly grateful for the show of respect from the fans. Once the car was parked Louis felt like he was going to throw up. Dale, Harry, and Alberto got out of the car first, walking around to Louis’ side with the extra members of the security team. They formed a wall around the car door before Alberto opened it, gesturing to Louis to hop out. The boy jumped out on shaky legs to silence.

 

Once out of the car and almost to the door, he heard a man’s voice scream. “Come on, Louis! Just one quick photo!”

 

The voice was automatically shut down, their fans yelling at him to shut up and show some respect. Louis couldn’t be more lucky, he really couldn’t.

 

Stepping inside, Louis let out a huge breath. He sat down against the wall, tucking his head in between his knees. Harry sat down beside him, rubbing his back gently. He didn’t look up until he heard an Irish accent exclaim, “There ya are! Thought the fans were gonna kill that dick who was hootin and hollering, would’ve been funny wouldn’t it? Wait? Does that mean I can’t cuss in front of ya anymore? No promises, here.”

 

Louis looked up at Niall, letting out a laugh. The gad was absolutely insane, and that’s what Louis needed right now.

 

“Let’s get ya up,” Niall said, extending his hands to Louis, “there we go. Now gather in lads, time for a group hug.”

 

Zayn, Liam, and Harry joined in and the boys all squeezed together around Louis.

 

 “Love you,” Louis whispered, unable to stop tearing up. His heart felt full of love and relief; the people who meant most to him in the world didn’t care what or who he was. Nothing could be better.

 

The boys were a bit surprised at how normal practice went, much to their shame. They weren’t sure what they were expecting, but Louis seemed to be the same Louis, just a bit more distracted and childlike. He had never been much of a talker, and that was okay. It was a learning experience for all of them, they had to learn who Louis really was, and Louis had to figure himself out all the same. They were all in it together.

 

Louis wanted to cry of relief when Liam called for their lunch break, the boy in desperate need of a change. Liam, Zayn, and Niall went off to the sitting room and Louis walked over to an expectant Harry. He reached on his tippy toes for the man’s ear so that he could whisper, “Daddy, ‘m wet.”

 

Harry simply responded by patting Louis’ bum and walking over to grab his backpack. He gestured for the bathroom, Louis checking to make sure no one was around before following him in. Harry set up the plastic changing mat on the ground and Louis laid down on it easily.

 

“Are you good, love?” Harry asked, wanting to make sure the boy wasn’t overwhelmed.

 

“Mhm, ‘m hungry though, daddy.”

 

“Would you like some chicken nuggets? I’m sure Alberto would run out and get you some.” Harry absolutely detested all things fast food, but he knew that it would be a good treat for his brave boy.

 

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Please,” Louis nodded excitedly, overjoyed at the prospect of getting Mcdonald’s.

 

“Of course, anything for my brave boy.” Louis blushed at Harry’s words, feeling a sense of pride at his daddy thinking he was brave. He loved making him happy.

 

After a lunch of Mcdonald’s, the boys got back to practicing. They had essentially finished up their stage show by that point, and would be doing full run throughs at the studio tomorrow. Next week would begin practices with the actual stage which they all were excited for. It made the tour seem real, not like some far off event that they’d eventually get to. It was only a week and a half until they’d be leaving to start the tour in Australia, doing three dates there before heading off to the US.

 

In the middle of Fireproof the band suddenly stopped playing, leaving the boys to wonder what had happened. Their answer appeared as Jackie walked in front of them, looking as sharp as always. She scanned the boys’ faces until she saw Louis. To everyone’s surprise, she ran over to Louis with a gasp and hugged him tight, patting the boy’s head. Niall couldn’t help but laugh, Liam slapping his arm and giving him a stern look. The sight was hilarious, Louis standing rigid while their terrifying PR head doted over him. Harry felt his stomach tighten at someone else hugging his little boy. He realized that he had never had to deal with people knowing Louis was a little up until this point, and seeing someone give Louis affection made him sick with jealousy. He’d never been a jealous person, but this brought something out of him that he didn’t know existed.

 

“All right, all of you are free to leave, I’m just going to have a talk with Louis,” Jackie said, pulling away from the boy. Louis’ face was pale and his breathing was labored, Harry could tell how nervous the boy was and knew he sure as hell wasn’t leaving. The little looked up at him with pleading eyes, and Harry gave him a soft smile as to say he wasn’t going anywhere. The room cleared out quickly, leaving Jackie, Louis, and Harry. Harry had pretended he was picking up his bag as to not cause suspicion to the other boys and members of the band, but they were all too quick to leave, not even noticing that Harry was staying.

 

“Have you two ABCed yet? I assume Nick is a part of this as well?” Jackie asked casually, sitting next to Louis on the couch.

 

Harry spluttered, “What?”

 

Jackie laughed, shaking her head. “Love, this is what I do for a living, do you think I would have been placed with your band if I wasn’t good at it? All it took was one look at your face when I asked how long you’d known to know that you were his daddy. Safe to say that you’re not the best actor.”

 

Harry blushed at her words, knowing that they’d been caught. “No, we haven’t ABCed, haven’t even talked about it. It’s a bit too soon to think about that, and anyways, it’s up to Lou.”

 

ABC, or Asset Bonding Ceremony, was the equivalent of marriage for nonsexual pairings. It allowed for littles, pets, slaves, and even regular subs to merge their assets with their dominants. It was something that was taken very seriously, as it was considered to be on the same level as marriage, bonding two or more people together for life. The point of the ceremony was to show a trust between the members of a relationship and for the dominants to show their sub’s family that they could be trusted with the money and possessions of their sub.

 

“And Nick?” Jackie asked.

 

“Yeah, Nick and I are both Louis’ daddies. I think it goes without saying that no one knows.”

 

Louis spoke up for the first time from where he was sat on the couch, “’m gonna tell them this next week. Want them to know before tour.”

 

Jackie smiled at the boy, rubbing his arm softly. “That’s very brave of you, Louis. You’re handling this all so well. Is there anything we can do for you to make this easier?”

 

The little thought hard before speaking, “Um. I guess I don’t want anyone being mean. And no interviews until I want one? Is that okay?”

 

“Of course it’s okay! This all about you. I know I may seem a bit scary sometimes, but it’s because I want what’s best for you all.”

 

“We appreciate that very much,” Harry said.

 

“That’s what I’m here for, isn’t it? Trust me that there will be no mean people anywhere, no crude signs, nothing. You can think about this for a bit, as it doesn’t matter until tour starts, but we still have fans who’ve paid ticket brokers for meet and greets. They paid a lot of money, but it can be returned if you don’t want to meet them. Just have your daddy let me know when you make up your mind, okay?”

 

Louis nodded, and the woman was off.

 

“Ready to go?” Harry asked, standing up and offering Louis a hand. They headed out to the main room where Dale, Preston, Alberto, and Phil were waiting for them.

 

“You good, bud?” Alberto asked before they headed outside. Louis nodded. He buried his face in Alberto’s back as he walked to the car, hearing the yells of paparazzi this time. It seemed that the crowd had grown immensely while the band was practicing, and there was no show of respect this time around. He breathed a sigh of relief once he was in the car, happy that he no longer had to deal with anyone besides his daddies for the rest of the day.

 

Once home, Louis felt worlds better. He knew that within the confines of the home- HIS home- there would be no judgment, just love. It was what he needed, and he knew that his daddies were more than willing to give it to him.

 

Nick was too anxious to see how Louis’ day had gone. He had checked twitter almost constantly, scoping out accounts that proclaimed themselves as “Louis update accounts”. He saw how respectful the fans had been that morning and wanted to cry. He was glad that their fans saw just what their boy needed and didn’t overwhelm him. He was impatiently watching TV when the garage opened and quickly ran over to open the door. He couldn’t find it in himself to care that the bodyguards in the car could still see them as he ran to his boy and picked him up, peppering kisses all over his sweet face.

 

“Hi, little cub! How was your day?” Louis giggled at the feeling of Nick’s lips all over his face.

 

“Good. Got Mcdonald’s!” Louis grinned at his own words, excited to have gotten the fried deliciousness even though he knew what health fanatics his daddies were.

 

Walking into the house, Nick chuckled, “I’m sure that was yummy, hm?” Louis nodded, nestling his head into Nick’s shoulder. It was honestly like clockwork, the way that Louis would start falling asleep at three every afternoon. The man carried his little upstairs, changing his wet diaper and putting him into a pair of puppy covered footie pajamas.

 

“Night night, Nicky,” Louis whispered as he was placed inside his crib. Nick kissed the boys forehead, placing a pacifier in his mouth. He watched as the boy curled up with his stuffed lion before exiting the room.

 

He walked into his and Harry’s bedroom where he saw the man lounging on the bed and laid down next to him, pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

 

“So it went well?”

 

“Surprisingly well. Jackie came again, called us out on being Louis’ doms the second we were alone in a room with her… she asked if we’ve ABCed, and Louis told her she wanted to tell the boys before we let for tour, so that was something new.”

 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. But now… we have a few hours alone, no baby, no work, just us.” Nick started to press kisses down the younger man’s neck, unable to not grin at the breathy moans Harry let out. He was in dire need of some time alone with his boyfriend, and he wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip away.

 

\------------

The next day of rehearsal went much the same, thankfully, Louis becoming more comfortable being himself around the boys. Everyone couldn’t believe how adorable the boy was, and Niall joked that he wished he was a daddy just so Louis could be his. The little blushed at all of the attention, unsure of how to react to it. He was never one to like being in the spotlight, always willing to take a step back and let others do the talking.

 

As they were leaving for the day and Zayn was hugging Louis goodbye he hesitated. “Hey Lou, I’m not sure if you wanna come to my get together tomorrow night still, but we would love to have you. I’ve my Frankenstein costume ready, it’s gonna be sick. If you don’t want to come it’s okay, though, no hard feelings.”

 

“I wanna come,” Louis said, giving the dom a smile, “I’ll be there.”

 

Zayn pressed a kiss to the boy’s hair, letting him know he’ll see him tomorrow night. He was excited to introduce Perrie to all of the guys as his sub; she was the first girl that he’d ever found himself serious enough about to bring around.

 

Once in the car, Harry looked at Louis with a smile on his face. He and Nick had a surprise waiting back at home for the boy, but with the way that his eyes were drooping he knew it’d have to wait until after Louis’ nap.

 

The men anticipated the end of Louis’ nap, excited for the boy to see what they had set up downstairs. Finally hearing the rustling of the boy waking up on the baby monitor, they both walked to his room to get him. As was becoming a common occurrence, the boy was crying a bit as he woke up.

 

“It’s okay, love, don’t cry,” Nick cooed, picking the boy up.

 

“We have a surprise for you!” Harry said, smiling when Louis perked up and turned to look at him from where he was laying on the changing table.

 

“What is it?” Louis asked curiously.

 

“Let’s get you changed out of these pajamas and we’ll show you!” Nick exclaimed. The boy was changed out of pajamas and put into an black onesie with a pumpkin on the front. Nick buttoned up the buttons of the onesie under the boy's diaper and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

 

Once in the kitchen, Louis gasped. There were four big pumpkins sitting on the table that was covered in newspaper. There were bowls of glittery rhinestones, paints, and supplies to cut the pumpkins with.

 

“Pumpkins!” Louis said excitedly, wriggling to be put on the ground. Harry couldn’t help but take a picture of Louis staring reverently at the pumpkins.

 

“I’ve never had a pumpkin,” Louis said sadly. It broke the men’s hearts to know that their boy had been deprived of so many important childhood memories, but it made them even more determined to give him everything that a little boy deserved.

 

“Not anymore, cub! You have your very own pumpkin right here, you can do whatever you want with it and we’ll put it outside of the house!”

 

“I want that one, please,” Louis said, pointing to a tall, skinny pumpkin. Nick moved it over.

 

“Are you okay with sitting at the table to decorate your pumpkin? Your highchair tray won’t hold the weight of the pumpkin.” Louis nodded, quickly sitting in a chair. Harry couldn’t help but coo at the sight the boy made, sides of his diaper peeking out of his cute Halloween onesie. He was as cute as pumpkin pie, all puns intended.

 

Nick and Harry worked to carve their own pumpkins while Louis focused on using the paints that the men had given him. A combination of little artistic ability, an infantile headspace, and lacking motor skills attributed to Louis’ pumpkin looking like it was made by a toddler. In essence, it was as though a toddler had painted it, and Louis was proud of it nonetheless.

 

He placed rhinestones on it with no rhyme or reason, simply loving the way that the sparkles looked on the pumpkin. He drew a black cat surrounded by flowers on it and was working on a family of bats on the other side of the pumpkin.

 

“Do we have anything to bring over to Zayn’s tomorrow?” Harry asked, looking to Nick.

 

“We have that bottle of pinot we bought last month, don’t we?”

 

“You’re right, that’s perfect,” Harry said, happy to hear they had something to bring over and he wouldn’t have to go out shopping tomorrow.

 

Louis looked up, confused at the conversation. “Why are you bringing Zayn presents?”

 

“It’s nice to give someone something when they invite you over to their house, just to say thanks. It’s something that a good guest does,” Harry explained.

 

The little frowned at this, close to tears. “I don’t have anything for Z.”

 

Nick gave Harry a look as to say, you said it, you fix it. “It’s okay love, you don’t need to bring him anything! He’ll just be happy to see you there.”

 

Louis looked at his daddy, eyes wide, “I make Z a pumpkin!”

 

Unable to break the little boy’s heart and explain that a pumpkin wasn’t the customary gift to bring a host, they told him what a great idea it was.

 

The boy took care making the pumpkin, placing all of the rhinestones perfectly. He wanted Zayn and Perrie to love his gift. He didn’t know what peanuts his daddies had gotten Zayn, but he knew that his pumpkin would be a way better gift. He drew Zayn and Perrie holding hands on the pumpkin and hoped they’d like the drawings. To finish off the pumpkin he wanted to write Zayn and Perrie’s name, but he’d noticed that he was having some trouble with writing lately. It was something that really scared him when he researched littles online, learning that the younger one regressed they’d have the chance of losing their writing and reading abilities up to a certain extent.

 

Louis sat with his marker poised against the pumpkin, tongue pressed between his lips for a few minutes, wanting to write their names but not wanting to mess it up. Harry was off in pumpkin carving heaven, but Nick had been watching the boy, unsure of if he would upset him if he offered to help. Eventually he forgot his reservations and asked.

 

“Are you good, my little pumpkin?”

 

Louis shook his head, pouting. “Can’t do it.” He said, looking down.

 

“What can’t you do, lovely?” Harry asked, butting into the conversation.

 

“Write Zayn and Perrie’s names,” his lower lip began to wobble at his own words, getting frustrated that his pumpkin wouldn’t be perfect.

 

Nick cooed, “It’s okay love, would you like if I helped you?”

 

The little looked up to him with large eyes and began to nod.

 

“All right, cub, why don’t you budge up?” Nick took Louis’ seat before pulling the boy on top of his lap.

 

“What color do you want to use?” Nick asked, grabbing the sapphire blue marker that Louis handed to him. “All right, make sure you grab onto the marker so we can write it out!”

 

Nick positioned his fingers under Louis’ so that he could help the boy write. He took it slowly, making sure the boy on his lap felt like he was contributing instead of Nick writing the whole thing out. Harry was absolutely enthralled by the sight, taking tons of pictures. He was eager for the day to come that he could finally post pictures of their boy on his Instagram, already sure that the addition of the boy to his feed would make it that much better.

 

Once the pumpkins were finished up, Harry lined them up to take pictures of them.

 

“Zayn and Perrie are going to love your gift, baby, that was so thoughtful of you to make one for them,” Harry said, pressing a kiss to the boy’s hair.

 

“I hope so,” Louis said, “Paci, please?”

 

Harry grabbed him a pacifier from a drawer, bopping it on Louis’ nose before placing it in his open mouth.

 

“Do you want to go watch TV while we cook dinner?”

 

Louis nodded, trudging over to the couch. He was excited for Halloween the following night and couldn’t wait to wear his Thor costume. Nick and he had spent hours searching for the perfect costume, and it truly was perfect. Harry and Nick were dressing up as people from Game of Thrones. Louis had no idea what that was about, but he knew that his daddies thought their costumes were pretty cool, so he was excited to see them. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to include Halloween, but this chapter is already at 10k and I thought it would be best to split it up. too much action in one chapter otherwise!!!! a huge thank you to Abby for always helping me, you're the absolute best!
> 
> I reallllly hope you enjoy this chapter. I wrote and rewrote it, I just wanted to get it write. please please please let me know what you think
> 
> comments mean the world to me!
> 
> my twitter for the fic @needaherofic is waiting for you! DM me and let me know what ya think! have a great day :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy enjoy enjoy! disclaimer: I love Jesy from little mix, this is in no way a bashing of her character-- I just needed someone to play that role, so here she is :)
> 
> twitter: @needaherofic

Yeah. Louis could wait for tomorrow. He hadn’t really thought of the logistics of the night until right now. And he didn't want to go. He was going to throw up everywhere.

 

Harry was holding Louis while he panicked and cried, bouncing him on his hip while walking him around his nursery. Nick was downstairs making a warm bottle, hoping that it could soothe the boy. They knew his emotional outburst was a mixture of nerves and being cranky, not having napped yet that day. He’d woken up early and excited, wanting to eat the bat shaped pancakes he was promised and watch the Halloween episodes being played on Disney Junior that morning.

 

“It’s okay, lovely, everything will be just fine. You have your cool costume and your present for Zayn and Perrie, they’re going to love it. Nicky and I are going to be there with you, everything will be perfect. You can come to us if you need anything, we’ll be with you the whole night, okay?” What Harry really wanted to say was that the boy should just tell everyone and they wouldn’t be in this situation. He knew it was selfish, but it would make the stress in Louis’ life evaporate.

 

Nick made a perfectly timed entry into the room, “All right, I think it’s time for a baba and a nap, how does that sound?”

 

Louis was annoyed, he didn’t need a nap, and he wasn’t tired. He scowled at Nick, “I don’t need a nap!”

 

“Then you don’t need to nap, but you need to drink your baba.” Nick replied, sitting on the rocking couch. He knew that Louis would pass out not even halfway through the bottle, but he’d let the grouchy little boy think they were playing by his rules.

 

Harry sat Louis down on his lap on the couch and Nick handed him the bottle. The warm milk worked its magic and Louis was asleep in less than five minutes, much to their relief. He’d been a terror for the past few hours, and they needed a break if they were going to make it through the night. Not that they’d ever tell him, but they were just as worried about the night as Louis was. They weren’t sure how he would react to being around new people, and they weren’t sure about Jake and Jesy. They knew that the two were p-doms, Nick being friends with them, and they were a bit… overbearing. The daddies just hoped the couple could keep their hands to themselves and understand when they were making their boy uncomfortable. In a perfect world, they wouldn’t even talk to their boy, but they knew that wasn’t going to happen.

 

Much to Nick and Harry’s relief, Louis woke up calm and smiling. Naps truly did cure a little boy’s woes. They had about an hour before Alberto was coming to pick Louis up and drive him. They’d realized that it would look too suspicious for him to constantly be showing up with him and Nick, so Alberto volunteered to drive him. He was nervous about showing up alone, but Nick and Harry were going to get there a bit earlier than him so he wouldn’t have to worry about when they were coming. After a quick bath, the men changed Louis into a new diaper and started to dress him in his Thor costume. The outfit consisted of grey leggings, as he threw a fit when he tried on the leather pants the costume came with because they were uncomfortable on his sensitive skin, a black long sleeve shirt, Thor’s chest plate, and his red cape. For shoes he was wearing his converse, the daddies not wanting him to trip in clunky boots. His diaper bulge was clearly obvious for anyone who was looking at him from the front, but there was nothing that could be done about it. The daddies surely weren’t going to mention it, so they were relieved when Louis didn’t say anything about it. Nick and Harry dressed up as Jaime Lannister and Jon Snow respectively, Harry letting his curls fly wild in tribute to the character. Louis had no idea who his daddies were dressed up as, but he thought they looked cool. He was proud to have such handsome daddies, he knew everyone would love their costumes.

 

Sitting the little on the couch, Harry brought over a small backpack. “Love, this has a few diapers, changing supplies, and a paci in it, just in case you want it. Make sure you don’t forget it. You can just put it under the sink in the bathroom when you get there, but you should have it just in case. Okay?”

 

Louis nodded, a bit panicked at the thought of everyone knowing he wore diapers. He knew it was inevitable for them not to find out, but still. He was a bit curious as to what age his bandmates, and the world, quite frankly, thought that he would age down to as a little, but this didn’t really leave it up to guessing.

 

The doorbell rang, and Nick headed off to the front door to grab it. Alberto had shown up before Nick and Harry left, the men not wanting to leave him alone. He hadn’t been left alone once since he’d started regressing, and they knew that from now on he’d need someone to watch him at all times just to be safe.

 

The bodyguard walked in with a smile on his face, walking to where Louis was sitting and pulling him up into a hug. “Hey bud, you look great! You give Chris Hemsworth a run for his money.”

 

Louis gave him a dazzling smile, blushing, “Thanks Albs.”

 

Harry smiled at the interaction before speaking, knowing that he and Nick had to head out, “Okay, so Nick and I are going to leave right now, and it’s good for you lot to leave in five or ten minutes. Make sure you grab his diaper bag before you go! Thanks for doing this, Alberto.” Harry walked over to give Louis a kiss, the boy crinkling his nose at Harry’s faux fur jacket. The daddy pressed a kiss to his mouth before pressing one to his cheek. It was the first time that one of his daddies, or anyone for that matter, had kissed him. There were no feelings behind it besides love. Louis liked the way it made him feel, loving when his daddies gave him kisses and cuddles.

 

“Everything will be fine, pumpkin, we’ll be right there with you the whole time. Love you!”

 

“Love you, little cub,” Nick said, pressing a kiss to Louis’ hair.

 

Louis simply looked up at them, trying not to cry. He couldn’t be more nervous, unsure of what the night would bring. Alberto pulled him into conversation when the men left, talking about the places that they’d be headed on tour. The guard could tell that Louis was about to panic, and he wanted to push it off as long as possible. When it was time for them to leave, they started heading out the garage to get to the car before Louis gasped.

 

“Wait! My present!” Alberto followed him back into the kitchen where a pumpkin that was covered in mismatched rhinestones and had childlike drawings was sitting. There was writing that was clearly done by an adult on it, but otherwise it was something that looked like it was made by an eager child or little. Alberto schooled his expression, seeing how Louis was waiting for him to comment on it.

 

“Did you make this bud? It’s amazing! Zayn and Perrie are going to love it!” Louis blushed at his praise, feeling proud. He’d worked so hard on it, so to hear his daddies and Alberto telling him how good it was made him so happy. Alberto grabbed it easily and carried it out to the car.

 

“Your daddies have a car seat coming in for my car, should be here this week,” Alberto said as he strapped the boy in. His phone pinged with a text from Harry saying that they’d arrived as he hopped in the driver’s seat and he sent one back saying that they were just leaving.

 

Alberto helped Louis out of the car once they’d arrived. The boy was excruciatingly nervous, hoping that the girls from Little Mix and whomever they brought with them would be nice. The guard carried Louis’ pumpkin and backpack up to the door and Louis rang the doorbell nervously.

 

It was answered almost immediately by Zayn and Perrie, both of them smiling widely. They both pulled him into hugs, letting him know how happy they were to see him.

 

Blushing, Louis said, “I have a present for you, I made it.” He looked to where Alberto was holding his pumpkin, completely missing Zayn’s disgruntled up-down look of the messily made pumpkin. Alberto gave him a death glare and Perrie elbowed his side, sparking the man into enthusiasm. “Lou, I love it- did you make it yourself?”

 

The little’s look was one of pride as he looked into Zayn’s eyes, “Yeah! All by myself, I drew you and Perrie,” he said as he pointed to said drawing.

 

“We absolutely love it, Louis! Thank you so much. This is probably the best gift we’ve ever gotten! We will put it in the middle of our kitchen table, would you like that?” Perrie said enthusiastically, setting the little at ease. Alberto was happy that she was there, because he would’ve killed Zayn if he made his boy feel bad about the pumpkin.

 

“Thank you,” Louis said bashfully. Zayn grabbed the pumpkin from Alberto, carrying it inside. The guard hugged Louis goodbye telling him to call if he needed anything before handing him the small backpack.

 

When he went to head inside only Perrie was waiting there, and he quietly asked her where the bathroom was. She guided him there with no questions as he placed the bag in the cupboard under their sink. Louis followed Perrie into the living room where everyone was sitting. All members of the bands had arrived at that point and everyone stared at him as he came in. His bandmates were a bit surprised to see him so obviously wearing a diaper, as that was the first time they’d ever even realized that he wore them. He turned bright red at the lack of conversation, twiddling his fingers anxiously. Everyone stood up to hug him, making him feel a bit anxious, but happy that they all cared enough to stop their conversations to greet him.

 

“Lou! Come here,” Niall exclaimed, “Your costume looks sick, mate!” Louis went over to sit by Niall, Jade scooching over so he could move in between them.

 

“Thanks, Niall,” Louis said quietly, giving him a small smile. He was trying to breathe as slowly as possible, not wanting to panic this early into the get together. He really hated nothing more than being the center of attention, and this was too much for him.

 

“Hey, Louis, Liam and I got you something,” Liam’s submissive, Sophia said. Louis really liked Sophia; she was laidback and quite quiet. She was up to Louis’ speed, definitely.

 

Louis looked up to see Sophia, who was dressed like Wonder Woman, holding a lollipop the size of his head in front of his face.

 

“For me?” He asked incredulously, in awe at the size of the lollipop. He loved candy, and this was one of the biggest pieces of it he’d ever seen.

 

“Of course! If you want it, it’s yours, love,” Sophia said with a smile. Louis couldn’t help but look to his papa before he took it, getting a small nod and smile from him. Louis had realized that if Harry was daddy, then Nick was papa. It sounded like the name of someone strong and protective. It fit him perfectly.

 

“Thank you so much!” Louis said, giving Sophia a tight hug. As he stared down at it conversation picked up, much to Louis’ relief. He was more than happy to just sit and listen to people talk just so long as the conversation wasn’t him.

 

He really, really wanted his lollipop, so he attempted to start removing the plastic wrapper. Frustrated at the difficulty he was facing, he pouted at the sucker. He didn’t think that anyone was looking as they were still talking, but everyone’s eyes were drawn to him. Both those who knew him well and barely knew him were enthralled by him, thinking he was the cutest thing on the face of the earth. And they weren’t wrong.

 

Quietly, Niall asked, “You want me to open it, Lou?” Louis nodded gratefully, handing over his lollipop to Niall. The Irish gad opened it quickly, handing the back while balling up the plastic and putting it in pocket of his khakis. He ended up dressing like Chad Radwell from Scream Queens; the girls got it, but the boys… not so much. He begged them to watch the show, knowing they’d think it was hilarious.

 

Louis brought the lollipop to his mouth, humming at the taste of the sugary goodness. Harry and Nick watched with small smiles on their faces, happy that their boy was finally looking at ease.

 

The little was brought back to the conversation when he heard his name said. “Louis, littles should never eat sweets before dinner. It’ll ruin your appetite.”

 

He looked up at the words, seeing that Jesy was sitting across from him and staring at him with a disapproving look.

 

He slowly brought the lollipop down from his lips, answering her in a whisper, “Oh. Okay.”

 

Nick’s grip on Harry’s knee tightened exponentially, having to grit his teeth so that he wouldn’t bark at the woman who’d upset his little boy.

 

“So, boys, are you excited to go on tour?” Leigh Anne cut in, wanting to take the attention off of the clearly upset boy.

 

Liam answered, “Yeah, definitely. It’s going to be a good time, last one for a while too, so we’re going to make it as memorable as possible.”

 

“Have you figured out a temporary caregiver for Louis yet? I’m sure you’re all very worried about how tour is going to be with him now that he’s a little. I would volunteer Jake and I if we weren’t writing the new album, but I can definitely get you into contact with some people I know,” Jesy said, her and Jake eyeing Louis.

 

Louis felt sick to his stomach being talked about as if he wasn’t there. He knew that he was little and didn’t understand some things, but being brought up like he was helpless made him feel sad. He looked down at his lap, grabbing his cape and rubbing it between his thumb and index finger. It was soft and provided him a distraction, but he found himself wishing he was home cuddled up with Lacy and a paci.

 

“No, we haven’t, because he doesn’t need one. Our crew is very capable, as are we as doms and gads. Louis trusts us, and if he wants a caregiver then he can find one himself, he’s not an invalid,” Harry cut in, unable to keep his tone from being sharp. He didn’t realize that Jesy was one of THOSE p-doms. Almost like the political spectrum, when it cames to classifications there were conservatives and liberals. There were those that felt as though subs were incapable of doing anything themselves and took matters into their own hands without any regards for the sub’s feelings. And there were doms like Nick and Harry that made a working relationship with their submissive and made sure that they knew that they had a say within the relationship. It was then that Nick and Harry knew they were going to have a long night.

 

“Jesy, please, not tonight,” Perrie interjected, not wanting her bandmate’s ideals to ruin what should be a fun get together. The woman in question threw her hands up as if to have surrendered.

 

Louis remained quiet until Perrie called for dinner, only having got up to go to the kitchen with Zayn to get a bag for his lollipop. The woman had worked hard on the setup, placing Halloween printed name cards around the table. She had a chef come in to cook them a themed meal and was ridiculously excited about it.

 

He had wet himself while he was sitting on the couch, and was uncomfortable to the point where he knew he needed a change. He figured that it would be a good time to go to the bathroom now while everyone was distracted than in the middle of dinner. Louis’ panic as he headed to the bathroom quickly was short lived, he felt grateful that he didn’t have to tell anyone where he was going as they were all congregated in the dining room area. He grabbed his backpack and changed himself quickly, finding himself wishing that his daddies were there to change him and blow raspberries on his belly. Once he headed back in everyone was sat down already, and he looked to find his name card.

 

Much to his chagrin, Louis found his nametag directly across from Jesy’s. He felt mean thinking it, but he really didn’t want to look at her face throughout dinner.

He was seated in between Sophia and Leigh Anne, Harry and Nick being seated on the opposite side of the table next to Jesy and Jake. Louis received encouraging smiles from his daddies, the boy feeling a bit better knowing that they were still there with him.

 

The second he sit down he heard what was becoming one of his least favorite voices speak. “This is why littles need a p-dom; poor boy isn’t even potty trained. Do you know how hard that’s going to be to deal with on tour?”

 

There was a collective gasp let out around the room at her harsh words, the only person who looked unaffected being her boyfriend. Louis was unable to stop the tears from welling in his eyes. The feelings of insecurity that terrorized him for the first 21 years of his life were back and growing with every single word out of her mouth.

 

He couldn’t find it in himself to look at his bandmates, but he choked out, “Sorry.” And he truly was. He was now realizing what a burden he was going to be to the band on tour. Maybe Harry was okay with it, but the others weren’t. Taking care of him wasn’t what they signed up for.

 

Before anyone could even reply, Jesy continued on her tirade, voice loud as to make sure everyone heard her clearly, “You know, Jake and I don’t have a little; if you come home with us we can show you how life as a little should be. We can get you out of those wretched diapers and ready for tour. Your bandmates won’t even notice that you’re not a gad.”

 

Louis felt like he was going to vomit. His mind couldn’t handle the stress that it was under, and all he wanted to do was sob. He was embarrassed and upset, and more than anything, distraught over not realizing what a burden he’d provide his bandmates.

 

“Can you shut the bloody hell up?” Nick replied, unable to keep it in any longer.

 

“Me?” Jesy laughed, “Your boyfriend is the one who didn’t even know that Louis, his own bandmate who he’s with every single day, is a little. Talk about embarrassing.”

 

Everyone at the table was tense and baffled, not comprehending why the woman was being so cruel. Leigh, Jade, and Perrie knew that her cruelty wasn’t intentional; it was just a product of the way that she was raised, but it was still unacceptable. Perrie was very close to asking her to leave as to spare the poor little who was slumped over on himself, Sophia rubbing her arm up and down his frail shoulder.

 

“If he didn’t want anyone to know then no one was going to know. It isn’t your job as a dom to out people who clearly don’t want to be outed. It’s your job to have some compassion, I can’t imagine any little ever being unlucky enough to suffer the fate of a lifetime with you,” Nick tossed back, uncaring of how his words sounded. Harry wanted to put a stop to the harsh conversation, knowing that it scared Louis.

 

“Well it’s my job as a dom to see a little boy who clearly needs my help and take him in. He has awful eating habits, doesn’t look up when he speaks, and is wearing a diaper for God’s sake! If you were half the dom that I was then you’d be thinking the same thing.”

 

Unable to handle it anymore, Louis got up from the table, running out of the room. His loud sobs were clear for everyone to hear, only being muffled when he slammed the door to the bathroom. His heart hurt at the fighting that was taking place, especially because it was over him. He wanted to scream to Jesy that he couldn’t help needing a diaper, and that he was just excited to eat a lollipop. What was so wrong with that? He could barely get air into his lungs with how hard he was sobbing and didn’t notice someone enter the bathroom until he felt a hand on his back. He looked through bleary eyes to see Zayn and Perrie kneeling on the floor next to him, staring at him concerned.

 

“It’s okay, love, it’s okay,” Perrie cooed at him, attempting to calm the boy down.

 

“W-want my d-daddies,” Louis cried, working himself up even more. He just wanted his daddies to come in there and help him. The worst part is that he knew that they wouldn’t come because they promised him they wouldn’t let anyone in on the fact that they were his daddies until he wanted them to.

 

“What?” Zayn asked, confused. Louis didn’t have daddies, he thought, wracking his mind for any mention of the little having dominants.

 

“D-daddies,” Louis cried, banging his head backwards into the sink.

 

“It’s okay, we’re going to get them here, love,” Perrie said. She whispered to her dom to step outside and call Alberto to figure out who his daddies were. Zayn didn’t know what he’d do without Perrie’s quick thinking, knowing he’d never have even thought to call the guard.

 

He quickly stepped out of the room, leaving Perrie to comfort Louis. He dialed up Alberto’s number, making sure that no one was around to hear their conversation. If no one knew Louis had daddies then he figured it was a secret, so he’d keep it that way.

 

“Zayn? What’s up, mate?” Alberto asked, confused. He was increasingly weary of the phone calls he received from Louis’ bandmates, worried that it meant something was wrong with his boy.

 

“This may be weird, but do you know if Louis has doms? Or a dom? Someone said something to upset him and he keeps asking for his daddies.”

 

Alberto let out a long sigh; he was caught between keeping Louis’ secret and helping the boy out. He knew how scary Louis’ panic attacks could be after their last trip to LA, so his concern for the boy’s safety eventually won out. Zayn was worried by Alberto’s long pause, but waited patiently.

 

“Go get Nick and Harry. They’re gonna kill me, but just get them.”

 

Zayn hung up quickly, heading into the dining room. Jesy and Jake were noticeably gone from the room as Zayn quickly scanned the long table.

 

“Nick, Harry, can I talk to you for a sec?” Zayn asked as nonchalant as possible.

 

The men got up quickly from the table, faces crumpling into expressions of concern once out of the room. Walking to the bathroom, Zayn spoke. “I, um, called Alberto. Louis is panicking a bit and kept asking for his daddies. I’m not gonna tell anyone, I promise. I just wanted to make sure he was okay, he looked so sad.”

 

Harry pulled Zayn into a hug as they walked, “No worries, mate. We wanted you to find out in a better way, but shit happens.”

 

The daddies opened the bathroom door, souls breaking as they saw their little Thor crying his heart out on the bathroom floor, Perrie curled around him.

 

“Daddy, Nicky,” Louis cried when the men walked in, holding his arms out.

 

Perrie got up, quickly moving out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind the three men.

 

Nick and Harry moved to the boy, Nick picking him up and placing him on his lap. Louis curled in quickly, gripping the man’s shirt in his hands.

 

“Louis n-naughty,” he sobbed, unable to bear the pain he felt in his heart at letting everyone around him down. He’d kept his true self inside for so long, not wanting to let his bandmates down, and that’s exactly what he’d done.

 

“What are you talking about, sweetheart? You’re not naughty, you’re a good boy!” Harry answered.

 

“Making tour h-hard, diapers, suckers,” The little listed off, pressing his wet face into Nick’s neck. He put his right hand in the man’s hair on the nape of his neck, running it through his fingers. It wasn’t as soft as Lacy, but it calmed him a bit to have something to touch.

 

“Baby, she doesn’t know you. You’re a good boy, the best little boy in the entire world. Your daddy and I love you so very much, so do Niall, Liam, and Zayn. We promise. She is a different type of parent than we are, and that’s okay. Just know that your daddies love you and will always be here.” Harry consoled.

 

“Do Li, Zayn, and Niall think I'm n-naughty too?”

 

“Of course not, little cub. They love you so very much!” Nick answered.

 

Louis gave his papa’s hair a tight squeeze, deciding that it was time for the boys to know. He felt guilty keeping it such a secret, and more than that, he felt lonely. He hated seeing his daddies in the same room as him and having to pretend they weren’t his. It wasn’t fair. He trusted his papa if he said that the boys loved him.

 

“They can know,” Louis said, tone final.

 

“All right, love, if you're sure. We’re always so proud of how brave you are,” Harry commended.

 

Done with the conversation, Louis grumbled, “I’m so itchy.”

 

 Nick chuckled, always in awe of how quick their boy jumped trains of thought, just like a real little one would. “Let’s get you out of your chest pad and cape, then you’ll be all good.”

 

The men lifted the outer parts of Louis’ costume off, Harry pulling down his leggings enough to make sure the boy was still dry, much to his dismay.

 

“Do you want to leave or would you like to stay for dinner?”

 

“Stay,” Louis answered, knowing that his daddies wanted to stay. He would do it for them, knowing how much they were looking forward to the dinner. “Want my paci, pretty please.”

 

Harry grabbed the boy’s pacifier out of the bag from under the sink, placing it in the little boy’s mouth. The boy insisted on Nick carrying him out, shyly hiding his head in his papa’s neck. Much to Harry and Nick’s appreciation, no one said a word as they walked back in with Louis. There were varying looks of shock, but when they seemed to understand what Nick holding Louis meant the shock turned to smiles. Nick and Harry were going to make great daddies, and more than that, they were amazing people. Louis would be in good hands.

 

Refusing to be put down, Nick had to maneuver himself to sit in the chair while placing Louis on his lap. The boy immediately curled up, rubbing his face on the man’s shirt.

 

Unable to help herself, Jade cooed, “Aw, please tell me you’re his daddies!”

 

Harry smiled proudly, nodding his head. “I don’t know how we got so lucky, but we are.”

 

Louis blushed, smiling behind his pacifier.

 

“Couldn’t think of a better family, to tell ya the truth,” Niall said, smiling.

 

“I call being first in line to babysit!” Sophia exclaimed, smiling at the sight that Nick and Louis made.

 

Once everyone had settled down a bit, Perrie let out a laugh. “So, who’s ready for dinner?”

 

Everyone chuckled, each person in attendance raising their hand besides Louis. The boy was tired and not hungry, he just wanted his papa. He knew that Jesy wasn’t there anymore, but he was scared that someone would try and say something mean to him. But not if he was sitting on his papa they wouldn’t. He knew his papa would protect him and scare off anyone who would try to hurt his feelings. That’s what papas were for, right?

 

Perrie and Zayn brought out the platters of food after waving off everyone’s efforts to help, Niall clapping his hands at the ridiculous amount of food that was made. By the time the food had been plated Louis was asleep on Nick’s lap, letting out quiet puffs of air onto the man’s chest. Nick patted his little boy’s bum gently, unsure of how they’d received the jackpot when it came to little boys.

 

He was sure that the little wasn’t going to wake if he wasn’t waking up with the loud chatter, but he still was quiet while asking Zayn, “Do you mind if I set him on the couch? He’s been a bit sleepy all day and I want to let him rest.”

 

“Of course,” Zayn said, leading Nick and a sleeping Louis to the living room. The papa put the boy down gently, and Zayn covered him up with a blanket. “I can’t believe he’s this cute,” Zayn exclaimed, looking at the sleeping boy who was gently sucking on a pacifier.

 

“I think the same thing to myself everyday, mate,” Nick said, laughing softly.

 

When Nick and Zayn sat back down, they shouldn’t have been surprised at the rapid-fire questions they were being asked. Nick laughed, stating that they should eat before they got into any deep conversation. Once the meal was about finished, the questions began.

 

“Please explain how this came about,” Liam asked, looking as adorably confused as always.

 

Nick looked to Harry, deferring the question to him. “Well, um. I don’t really know, to be honest. Louis went to meet up with a Quench match a few weeks ago, it went pretty badly, and he called us. And that was that.”

 

“Harry, ya might be a good bloke, but you’re a terrible story teller. Please tell us if he’s as cute as we’re all thinking he is?” Niall asked, exasperated at the lack of detail.

 

“Thank you, Niall,” Harry said, rolling his eyes, “Of course he is. He’s the cutest little boy in the world, everything he does is perfect.”

 

The women cooed, picturing how cute Louis was in the private of his own home.

 

“You don’t have to answer, of course, but what age would you put him at? He seems pretty little,” Perrie asked curiously.

 

“It depends, when he’s home he’s very little. He likes cuddles and listening to Harry and I talk. He’s a sweet, shy little guy. It goes to say that he’s still trying to figure out exactly who he is, his mum did a nasty bit of work on him.”

 

“If ya ever go to rough her up a bit, let me know and I’ll bring my 9 iron,” Niall said, shaking his head.

 

“You’ll be the first to know, Niall. Thank you all for being cool about it,” Harry said, grateful.

 

“Of course,” Perrie said, “I think it’s safe to say that all of us apologize for Jesy. She’s a bit… conservative in her views. She has an idea of what a little should be and doesn’t let anyone forget it.”

 

“I’ve met people like her once or twice, it’s fine to have your views, of course. But to spew them like venom in front of a clearly insecure little boy, absolutely wrong,” Nick said honestly.

 

“Safe to say we won’t be inviting her to any get togethers that you lot come to,” Zayn said with a humorless laugh.

 

“All right, who wants dessert and more wine?” Perrie said, drawing a cheer from those seated at the table. Harry got up from his seat, heading out to where he knew Louis was sleeping. He’d been asleep for about an hour while they ate, and Harry wanted to wake the boy up so he didn’t stay awake all night. He had become very attuned to his sleeping schedule, and the daddies didn’t want to mess it up right before tour.

 

Rubbing the little’s shoulder, Harry gently spoke, “Love, it’s time to wake up. Would you like some yummy dessert?”

 

Louis let out a whine behind his pacifier, blinking his eyes slowly. He wasn’t sure where he was at first, but he saw his daddy and that made him feel a little better. He spit out his pacifier, grabbing his daddy’s warm hand and pressing it to his cheek. Louis truly couldn’t explain why he needed his daddies’ touches so much, but he did. It could be that they always made him feel safe, but he wasn’t sure.

 

“Daddy, ‘m wet.” Louis said, nuzzling his face into Harry’s palm.

 

“All right, pumpkin, let’s get you up and changed!” Harry untangled the little from the blanket he was wrapped in, making sure to place the boy’s pacifier around his finger like a ring. The little had grown attached to the little pieces of plastic, and when Louis was home he and Nick made sure to have one on them at all times.

 

Once Louis was changed, Harry carried him back out to the dining room. Perrie was setting plates of ridiculously delicious looking chocolate cake in front of everyone, looking up to give Louis a dazzling smile when she saw him in Harry’s arms. Harry placed the boy on the ground, eliciting a whine from him. He was back on Harry’s lap within seconds, though, placing a small kiss on his daddy’s lips before settling his face into his neck. It was the first time that Louis had ever initiated a kiss on the lips, and it made Harry’s heart feel like it was going to burst out of his chest.

 

Harry cooed, “Love you, sweetheart,” Louis replying by patting his cheek.

 

Niall couldn’t help but ask, “Lou, could I hold ya while we eat dessert? I promise I’ll share, only with you though!”

 

Louis blushed profusely, shaking his head. “Wanna stay with daddy,” he said, Harry patting the boy’s bum while everyone chuckled.

 

“I’ll get ya to eat with me soon, Lou,” Niall promised, unable to watch his bandmates without smiling. It almost made him wish he was a daddy watching how cute Louis was. Almost.

 

“Everyone ready to dig in?” Perrie asked, sitting down. She received a loud cheer from everyone there besides Louis, the boy shyly peeking out from where he was leaning against Harry’s chest. He thought it would be embarrassing having the boys see him be himself, but he was wrong. He should’ve realized that the boys were the closest people in the world to him, there was no way that they would judge him on something like his classification. Louis felt a bit silly for thinking that the boys would make fun of him, but at least he knew now. He tuned out the conversation that was taking place, hearing that Jade had brought up wine. He’d found that to be a common occurrence for him, finding the topics that people talked about to be boring. Feeling a fork prodding at his lips, he opened his mouth. He let out a happy sound at the taste of the chocolatey goodness.  The cake proved to be the only good part of the dinner, the longer it dragged on the antsier he got. Louis couldn’t help but continuously move on his daddy’s lap, running his fingers through the man’s soft curls. The more accustomed he grew to his classification, the more he figured out what he liked. He loved pacifiers and bottles. He adored watching TV, especially his guppies. He’d never been as attached to a TV show as he was to the Bubble Guppies; he couldn’t explain why, but their bright colors and fun songs made him unbelievably happy. He absolutely loved soft things; rubbing Lacy against his cheek, wearing his footie pajamas, touching his daddies’ hair. He always giggled at the way his daddy would tell him he was ruining his hair, not completely realizing that he was serious.

 

“Never seen you let anyone touch your hair, H,” Liam remarked.

 

“Don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Harry said, grinning.

 

Looking at how everyone’s plates were almost empty of dessert, Louis was overjoyed. He was ready to go home and have his baba. No offense to everyone there, but Louis would much rather be home. He’d always considered himself a homebody; he never went out unless he was forced to, he preferred the comfort of his own home. But having his daddies increased that tenfold; all he ever wanted to do was be cuddled up with them, safe in the confines of their house. It was hard, having to go out. Cognizant of the fact that his daddies were having fun, he tried to be a good boy and be patient. Maybe his daddies would let him stay up and watch the Bubble Guppies when he got home since he was being so good. They were almost done, everyone sitting with now empty plates… until Perrie decided to make the night even longer.

 

“I’m going to go grab the bottle of wine Nick and Harry brought, a nightcap before you all hit the road!”

 

Louis couldn’t help the whine he let out, close to tears. He tugged a bit on Harry’s hair, whispering, “Daddy, want baba. ‘m sleepy.”

 

Having a silent conversation with Nick, Harry decided it was time to go. They’d been there about five hours at that point, and he was surprised that Louis had lasted that long.

 

“It’s okay, pumpkin, we’re going to head out right now. Can you say thank you to Zayn and Perrie for having us?”

 

Louis looked up, “Thank you for having us. Your cake was yummy! Now we’re gonna go home.”

 

Everyone laughed at Louis’ words, endeared by how excited he was to go home.

 

“Can I have a hug goodbye?” Perrie and Sophia said at the same time, laughing at their synchronized thoughts.

 

“Go on,” Harry said, getting off the chair and forcing the boy to stand up. Shyly, Louis walked over to where Sophia was, giving her a hug.

 

“Bye bye. Thank you for the lolli, ‘m gonna bring it home,” Louis said, blushing when the sub’s hand lightly padded his diapered bottom.

 

“Of course, babes, I’m glad you liked it. I’m excited to have someone to spoil, be ready for lots of presents!”

 

Louis smiled at the prospect of getting gifts; the idea of presents was something new, his mum never once getting him anything outside of necessities when he was growing up.

 

“That makes two of us, Soph,” Perrie said, pulling Louis in for a hug. “Looks like someone’s going to be the most spoiled little in the entire world! Thank you again for the pumpkin, we love it so much.”

 

Louis let out a shy giggle at her words, walking over to where his Papa was standing and wrapping his arms around his side.

 

“Ready to go, little cub?” Nick asked, laughing as Louis nodded into his side.

 

“Thank you both for having us, dinner was wonderful. It was nice seeing you all, we should do this again soon at our place. Boys, we’ll see you on Monday; appy Halloween.” Harry said, giving a small bow before the family walked out.

 

“Nicky, I want a baba and guppies, please,” Louis said, rubbing his hand up and down the man’s side as he walked.

 

“As soon as we’re home, love. C’mere,” Nick said, picking the boy up and placing him in his car seat, buckling him up.

 

“H, make sure you text Alberto and tell him we’ve got Louis. I don’t want him worrying about picking him up,” Nick directed as he walked around the car into the front seat.

 

Louis didn’t let himself fall asleep in the car, desperately keeping his eyes open. Papa promised him that he could watch Bubble Guppies and he wanted to finish the episode that he was watching that afternoon. The guppies were visiting a circus and about to perform, and he needed to see how it ended. He let out a sigh of relief when they were pulling into their garage, happy to see that he’d succeeded in staying awake.

 

“Happy to be home, sweetheart?” Harry asked, unstrapping Louis from his harness. Louis smiled, nodding his head.

 

“Guppies, guppies, guppies!” Louis exclaimed, excited.

 

“Oh, you want to watch the guppies?” Harry asked, hefting the boy onto his hip. “You’re sure you don’t want to go to bed?”

 

“No, daddy, Nicky promised I could watch the guppies! Want guppies and a baba,” Louis said, close to tears. He didn’t want to go to bed, papa promised. Promises were the end all be all between the three of them, his daddies had never broken a promise to him. Well… not yet.

 

“I’m kidding, pumpkin, of course you can watch the guppies. Since you were so good we can all watch guppies in my room! Would you like that?”

 

Louis nodded his head vigorously, feeling excited as Harry carried him up the stairs. He was ready to be out of his clothes. His daddy set him down on the changing table and he raised his arms to the sky so that Harry could take his shirt off. He laid down so that he could get his leggings taken off, sighing happily as he felt the air on his legs. Harry changed his slightly wet diaper into a thicker night diaper before heading into the closet. Louis lay there calmly, not wanting to make his daddy change his mind about letting him watch guppies.

 

He brought out two pajama choices, one set of footie pajamas and one onesie. Louis pointed to the onesie, wanting to be in as little material as possible. His daddy put it on him, quickly buttoning under his crotch before placing him on the ground. Louis skipped ahead of him into the daddies’ room, jumping on the center of their huge, neatly made bed.

 

His papa and daddy walked in their room, smiling at the sight of Louis looking tiny on their big bed. He was continually shocked by how well his daddies knew what he needed, gasping when he saw that Harry had Lacy in his hands, grabbing her from him with a smile.

 

Nick and Harry changed into pajamas quickly in the bathroom, wanting to get back to Louis as soon as possible. The older man grabbed the bottle from the bathroom counter, heading back into the bedroom and hopping into his side of the bed. He propped himself up against the pillows, patting the space between his legs. “C’mere lovebug, let’s get you drinkin’.” The little crawled over, planting himself up against his papa’s chest. Before he could ask when Bubble Guppies was going to be on, he turned his head forward to where he heard the TV starting. His daddy was turning on Netflix, much to his excitement.

 

His papa placed the rubber nipple to his lips, and Louis began to drink the formula. He watched his daddy as he turned the guppies on and walked over to the bed, hopping in.

 

“Let’s see how good the guppies are at performing! Maybe they can open up for us on tour!” his daddy said with a big smile.

 

Louis stopped drinking for a second, excited by Harry’s idea. “Really?”

 

“Of course! Let’s watch and see what tricks they can do first,” Harry said, rubbing a finger down Louis’ soft cheek.

 

The little started to suck on his bottle again. He was unable to stop himself from succumbing to the powers of the warm milk, falling asleep within minutes. Once they were sure he was asleep, Nick gently lifted the boy off of the bed, allowing Harry to turn the duvet down. He placed the boy in the middle of the bed, watching as he immediately curled onto his side, stuffed lion tucked in his arms. Nick walked around the bed, kissing Harry goodnight gently.

 

“Love you,” Harry said, pressing kisses along Nicks’s jaw.

 

“I love you more, goodnight popstar,” Nick said, squeezing Harry’s bum. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough of the gorgeous man, he didn’t understand how he ended up with someone as loving and perfect as Harry.

 

Nick woke up to a warm body pressed against his chest and a mouthful of fur. He opened his eyes and looked down, seeing Lacy pressed against his mouth.

 

He gently moved the stuffed animal, which was attached to Louis’ hand, to rest on the little’s chest before getting up off the bed. Relieved that he didn’t wake Louis or Harry, he headed into the bathroom to shower. Last night was the first time that Louis had slept with them, and he knew that they shouldn’t make it a nightly thing, but he honestly loved waking up with his little boy curled up against his chest. He knew that he was putty in the boy’s hands, and felt sick thinking about the fact that they only had one more weekend together before the band left for tour.

 

Nick wouldn’t be able to see them for the first two and a half weeks as they headed to Australia and the States, but was trying to make it to Europe for at least a show. He and Harry were extremely worried as to what Louis’ reaction would be, but hoped that he’d understand that Nick couldn’t leave his job. It was a long shot that the boy would understand, but they could still hope.

 

As he was shampooing his hair he heard the bathroom door open up, and Harry’s voice quickly follow it.

 

“Let’s get your teeth brushed and then we can get you changed!” He heard Louis giggle as Harry talked through a mouthful of toothpaste before singing a song to Louis while he brushed the little boy’s teeth. Nick smiled at the silliness of his boys, loving the sound of Louis’ laughter.

 

After getting dressed and ready for the day, Nick followed the scent of bacon to the kitchen. Louis was sat in his highchair, kicking his legs happily and sipping on his morning bottle. Nick headed over to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. The boy turned his head, giving his papa a wave while continuing to drink his bottle. It looked like it was going to be a happy Sunday indeed.

 

While Harry cooked a fry up for himself and Nick, he contemplated the only problem that seemed to be present in his life at the moment. His mum. She was without a doubt one of his best friends in the world, and he felt awful keeping her out of the loop. He knew that Nick was feeling the same way about his parents, but he wouldn’t say anything. And that’s where Harry’s dilemma lay. He wanted to bring it up, but couldn’t help but feel selfish doing so. This was about Louis, not him. It was a bit manipulative, but he was going to bring his mum up today and see what the boy’s reaction would be. It was worth a try, wasn’t it?

 

Louis was happier than he’d been in a long while. He had his daddies, his boys knew everything and still loved him, and he was about to leave on tour to sing the songs that he wrote. Everything was perfect.

 

He was sitting in his playroom playing with his trains when he heard the loud ringing of Harry’s phone. His daddy answered it quickly, Louis stopping what he was doing to listen, unable to help his curiosity.

 

“Hiii mum, how are you?” Harry asked, a smile on his face. “I’m good, just home with Nick.”

 

Harry paused as he listened to what she had to say, thinking carefully before replying. “Yeah, Louis is good; obviously a bit shaken up, but the boys and I have been there for him and I think that’s helped.”

 

Louis went wide-eyed as he was brought up, curious as to why Harry wasn’t telling his mum about him. He knew how close they were, and couldn’t help but feel guilty at making Harry lie to her. He made up his mind quickly, knowing that a second of bravery could lead to a lifetime of difference.

 

He walked over to the couch Harry and Nick were sitting on, climbing onto Harry’s lap.

 

Whispering, he said, “Daddy, you said lying is bad. You can tell.”

 

Harry looked at the boy, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek, putting his palm over the speaker of his phone. “Are you sure, pumpkin?”

 

Louis nodded, smiling. “You have a nice mummy, it’s okay.”

 

Nodding, Harry put his phone on speaker. “Mum? You there?”

 

“Yes, dear, the phone cut out for a second. Everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, everything is fine. I just have something I want to tell you. Um, so Louis kind of has been living with Nick and I. As our little. I obviously was going to tell you, it’s just happened pretty quickly. And we wanted Louis to be comfortable before we told anyone.”

 

“Oh, love, no need to explain yourself to me. Like I’ve said, I can’t even imagine how the poor babe feels. But I’m happy for all three of you. When can I come over? Does that make me a nana? I guess it does. My first grandchild! I’m going to spoil the sweet boy silly,” Anne gushed, thinking out loud.

 

Nick laughed loudly before answering, “Hi Anne. It seems like everyone has the same desire to spoil Louis. I think it’s safe to say he’s going to be the most spoiled person to ever live.”

 

“That doesn’t surprise me, he is sweet as pumpkin pie. No one can resist that! Is he with you now?”

 

“He is,” Harry said, rubbing his hands up and down Louis’ back. “He’s a bit shy, so I’m not sure if he’s going to say much. But to answer your previous question, you can come over any time you want, we’re usually done with rehearsals around three or so during the week.”

 

“Hi Louis, dear! I just wanted to send you all of my love and I hope to see you soon. Are Harry and Nick taking good care of you, lovie?”

 

Louis nodded into Harry’s chest, feeling too shy to answer the woman. It was one thing to have her know about his daddies, but it was another thing to talk about it.

 

“He doesn’t feel much like talking, but he’s nodding his head.” Harry said, endeared by the boy on his lap.

 

“No worries, sweetheart, I hope I’ll get to see you this week! Is there anything you want me to bring you when I come? Cookies?”

 

“Chocolate chip! Please” Louis exclaimed, unable to help himself, all shyness dissipating at the tantalizing prospect of cookies.

 

“There’s that sweet voice,” Anne cooed, “I’d love to make cookie! I’ll bake them with lots of love, just for you.”

 

Nick and Harry smiled, happy to see how loving Anne was towards Louis. They had no doubt that either of their mothers would be anything but angelic towards him, but seeing it in action was a relief.

 

“All right, mum, it’s time for lunch. We’ll talk to you later, let me know what day you’re thinking of coming. Love you lots.”

 

“Love you boys, talk to you soon!”

 

Once off the phone, Harry shifted Louis’ body on his lap so that he could look him in the eyes. “Are you good, lovely?”

 

Louis thought for a second, trying to form a way to voice his worries. It was becoming increasingly hard to string together his thoughts, but he was okay with it. His daddies were learning to know what he wanted without him even saying it out loud, so he didn’t have to worry all that much about speaking too often.

 

“Daddy has a nice mummy. She will like me? Even my pacis and diapers?” He was worried that she would be like Jesy. The mean lady really scared him. He thought that all mummies were supposed to be nice, but she got mad that he wore diapers. Louis didn’t understand that at all!

 

Understanding the boy’s concerns, Harry answered quickly. “Baby, she already loves you so very much. Even when she thought you were a gad she loved you. She will love you no matter what you’re wearing because you’re the sweetest little boy in the world! Promise.”

 

\-------------

Louis was crying and he couldn’t stop. It was Friday after rehearsals and he couldn’t be more excited to head home. Harry strapped him into the car seat that had arrived for Alberto’s escalade and hopped in beside him.

 

“Guess who has a surprise waiting at home?” Harry asked, smiling widely at the little boy next to him.

 

“Me?” Louis asked, mouth wide. Harry nodded, reaching a hand over to tickle the still shocked looking boy. Once home, Louis was impatient, wanting Harry to hurry up and unstrap him.

 

Nick was waiting outside, leaning against the side of the garage and smiling. Finally released from the car seat, Louis hopped out and ran to his papa, hugging him tightly. “Nicky! Surprise?”

 

Laughing, Nick picked Louis up and carried him inside, watching as Harry said goodbye to Dale and Alberto. Waiting on the floor in the living room were three big brown boxes that clearly had just had the tape holding them shut ripped off.

 

Wiggling around in Nick’s arms until the man put him down, Louis ran over to the boxes. He stroked his fingers up and down one of them, staring up at his daddies who were both now in the room thoughtfully. “Presents? For me?” He asked the question as if he was shocked that the men would get him presents. It continuously surprised them that their boy was so humble and unexpecting of the kindness that he received both from them and others.

 

“Of course they are!” Nick exclaimed, him and Harry moving to sit on the couch. Harry couldn’t help but take his phone out, wanting to document Louis’ reaction.

 

“Why don’t you start with the big box in the middle, pumpkin,” Harry guided, readying his camera.

 

Louis opened the box slowly, getting on his knees so that he could see what was inside. He grabbed another brown box from inside the big one, sitting with it and opening it. He gasped as he opened it, seeing that they were diapers that had their plastic front panel decorated with various characters from Bubble Guppies. They were the coolest diapers he’d ever seen!

 

He grabbed one from the pack and walked over to where his papa was sat.

 

“Nicky, ‘m wet. Change please,” He said with a smile, handing the man his cool new diaper. The men couldn’t help but burst out laughing, figuring it’d be the first and only time Louis asked for a diaper change with a smile. He grabbed Louis’ diaper bag from where it sat on the couch fresh from rehearsals and quickly changed the boy. He left his sweats off, knowing that the boy would ask to change as soon as he saw what else was in the boxes.

 

Louis looked down at his new diaper, admiring the picture of Molly and Gil surrounded by tons of little fish. “Look daddy! It’s Gil and Molly!”

 

“I can see that, pumpkin! That’s the coolest diaper I’ve ever seen,” Harry started videotaping again now that the boy was done being changed.

 

Harry remembered when he was a teenager and would go to the birthday parties of his younger cousins and complain about how slowly they opened presents. He couldn’t get annoyed over the fact that Louis had only opened one gift so far, he was way too enamored with the excited look on the boy’s face after seeing a diaper. It was by far the least exciting thing in any of those boxes, but he still managed to look like a little boy on Christmas day. Harry couldn’t love him any more, he really couldn’t.

 

As Louis continued to go through the boxes he couldn’t help but cry. He was so happy. His daddies had gotten him everything he could have ever dreamed of, all covered in his guppies. There were shirts, onesies, footie pajamas, pacis, bottles, stuffed guppies, plastic toys, sippy cups, everything he could have ever wanted. The coolest thing that they got him was a bib that had the bottom half of a guppy on it so that it would look like a guppy when he was eating. He couldn’t wait to wear it at dinner! Or his guppies shoes. Nick told him they lit up when you stomped on them. The bottoms had a clear piece that allowed you to see water inside of the sole of the shoe, the guppies swimming around in there.

 

He couldn’t stop crying, completely overwhelmed by everything in front of him. Grabbing one of the onesies, this one light blue like the ocean and screened with a picture of all of the guppies, he headed over to his daddy.

 

“W-wanna wear this,” he got out, unable to stop crying no matter how hard he tried. He lifted his arms up to the sky, waiting for his daddy to take the shirt he wore to rehearsals off of him. Once changed into his onesie he headed back over to his loot, looking through everything. He now had the full cast of the guppies characters in stuffed form and he loved them. He hoped they all fit in his crib. Louis cried more as he thought about all of them sleeping with him, his favorite characters ever being able to be in his crib with him.

 

Too caught up in the adorable sight of Louis crying in happiness, neither of the daddies realized that the garage door had opened.

 

Anne heard someone crying and quickly moved to where she heard the noise coming from. She found herself horrified at the sight of Louis crying on the ground while Nick and Harry smiled from the couch.

 

“What is going on here?” She asked, completely confused and a bit upset. Louis looked up through bleary eyes, frightened by the new voice. He scampered over to his daddy, quickly curling up on his lap, cries quieting down.

 

“Mum! I completely forgot you were coming today,” Harry said with a smile, rubbing his hand up and down the now doubly overwhelmed little boy in his arms.

 

“What did you do? Why was he crying?” Anne asked, moving to sit next to Harry on the couch.

 

“Happy tears,” Nick replied, “we just got him some presents with his favorite characters on them, as you can see.” Anne then looked to the ridiculous amount of stuff on the floor, understanding.

 

“Aw, did your daddies get you some presents, dear?” Anne asked, hesitantly placing her hand on Louis’ back. She was a bit surprised when she saw the diaper that was puffed around Louis’ thighs, but made no mention of it. She had no idea that the boy was that little, but it made her even more excited to be a nana. Who didn’t like babies?

 

Louis was nervous, he couldn’t help it; his own mother wanted nothing to do with him, and he was irrationally scared that his daddy’s mum would feel the same way. He didn’t look up at her words, not wanting to see her face.

 

“He’s a bit shy,” Nick said, smiling down at the boy.

 

“I have just the little trick to cure shyness. I made you some cookies, love, would you like some?” Anne asked, a knowing smile on her face. Louis turned his face slightly, allowing one eye to peek out and look at Anne. The woman was smiling gently, a plastic container on her lap. Slowly, Louis shifted around in his daddy’s lap until he was facing the woman.

 

“Hi Louis! How are you, sweetheart?” Anne asked, absolutely endeared by the sight in front of her. The little boy on her son’s lap was dressed in solely a onesie, puffy diaper frilling out at his thighs. He was the cutest thing she’d ever seen, without a doubt.

 

“Good,” Louis whispered, feeling a bit apprehensive.

 

“It’s okay to be a bit shy, dear, just know that your nana loves you and can’t wait to spend some time with you. Are your daddies treating you well? Giving you lots of cuddles and kisses?”

 

Louis nodded enthusiastically; he loved talking about his daddies! “Lots of cuddles and kissies. Nicky gives me good tummy rubs, too!”

 

Anne gave him a dazzling smile, overjoyed that the boy was talking to her. “I’m so happy to hear that! You have some good daddies, don’t you?”

 

“The best daddies. Look at my new guppies toys!” Louis said, jumping off Harry’s lap and crawling over to where his new stuff was. Nick and Harry were amused by the boy’s quick change of heart, immediately warming right back up to Anne.

 

Anne got right on the ground with Louis, listening as the boy babbled on about every single thing that he had received. A renewed love for his mum rushed over him, Harry was unbelievably grateful to have such a wonderful woman who raised him. He often thought about how different he would’ve turned out if his mum was anything like Louis’. He found himself grateful that Louis would now have a positive female role model in his life, something that he didn’t have on his first go round.

 

Looking up, Anne said, “You two are good to go. Louis is going to have some nana time. Shoo!” She and Louis both waved goodbye to them, giggling.

 

“Juice first, please,” Louis said, shooting them a winning smile.

 

Rolling his eyes, Nick stood up. “We’ve to wash all of your new bottles and sippy cups first, so you can’t use one of those bud.”

 

Once back with a small bottle of juice, Nick and Harry were again shooed off by Louis and Anne.

 

“Want to see my playroom?” Louis asked, eyes bright. He was excited for have someone new over. Don’t get him wrong, he loved hanging out with his daddies, but they knew about all of his toys already.

 

“I would love to! Let me grab your cookies and we can head right up!”

 

Louis grabbed the stuffed version of Molly and stood up, patiently waiting for Anne. His nana grabbed his hand as they walked to the stairs, not wanting him to fall as he walked up them.

 

Once upstairs Louis picked up the pace, anticipating his nana’s reaction at his awesome playroom. She smiled as she entered, happy that her boys seemed to have spared no expense for the precious boy in front of her.

 

“I love it, Louis! Look at all of your toys, I bet you have lots of fun in here, hm?”

 

The boy finished sipping on his bottle before answering. “Yeah! I have blocks, and art, and toys! Daddy and Nicky always play with me too. Can I have a cookie, please?”

 

“Of course you can, dear! What nice manners you have,” She praised, leaving Louis’ cheeks bright red.

 

“Are you my nana?” Louis blurted out, wanting to know what he should call the woman. His curiosity often beat out his rational side, especially as his time as a little grew longer.

 

“I am, dear! Do you know what nanas do? They make sweet little boys cookies and other treats and spoil them rotten!”

 

“Nana,” Louis said, moving to hug the woman. She cooed, unable to help herself from patting his bum. She was surprised by the fact that she was a few inches taller than Louis; she’d always known she was tall, but she hadn’t realized that the boy was that short.

 

“That’s right, love, I’m your nana! Now let’s get your sweet self a cookie.”

 

Louis loved his nana. She was probably the funnest person he’d ever met! She taught him lots of new crafts and told him she’d bring over some beads next time she saw him so that they could make bracelets. He couldn’t wait. He cried when she left later that night, unreasonably sad at the prospect of her not staying to play with him any longer.

 

The little wouldn’t move from where he was sat on her lap, pressing his tear stained cheeks into her neck. “Don’t leave, nana! Didn’t you have fun playing with me?”

 

“Oh, sweetheart, of course I had fun playing with you! We can play again soon, I promise! Would you like to learn how to bake cookies?”

 

Louis nodded, tears still falling at the idea of not knowing how long it’d be until he saw his nana again.

 

Nick cut in, “Would you like to see nana on Tuesday? Your daddy and I have to go somewhere, and she said she could come over if you’d like!”

 

Gasping, Louis looked up and nodded eagerly. “You’ll come play with me, nana? Will you bring beads like you promised?”

 

Pressing kisses all over the boy’s face, Anne answered, “I would love to play! We’ll have the funnest night ever!”

 

“I can’t wait, nana! Thank you for being my friend.” Louis hesitated a moment before pressing a kiss on the woman’s cheek, eliciting a coo from everyone in the room.

 

“I’m so happy to have you as a friend, sweetheart. I’ll see you in just a few days.”

 

Once she left Nick got Louis in a bath, the boy too tired to even play with his toys. Nick went as quickly as possibly, not wanting the boy to fall asleep in the tub. Louis was dressed from head to toe in guppies, wearing his new footie pajamas as he was placed in his crib.

 

Harry was waiting awake for Nick in the kitchen, a concerned look on his face.

 

“Do you think Louis understands that you’re not coming on tour with us?”

 

Nick felt a bit worried. He hadn’t even really thought about that. “I’m not sure, love. Maybe we should talk to him about it?”

 

Harry shook his head, “I think that would make it even worse. You know how much he overthinks things, he’d make himself sick with worry. We’ll just explain the night before, I think.”

 

Nick hesitated, disagreeing with his boyfriend’s words. It wasn’t the time for an argument about this, not wanting the thought of not being with his boys to overshadow the last few days they had together.

 

“All right, babe. Whatever you think is best.”

 

Both men were happy that they had a few days left before tour, but couldn’t help but worry. Louis was doing so well at home, and the boy was so happy. They weren’t sure what his reaction would be to finding himself back on the road, but they knew they’d find out soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't had time to proofread, but I wanted to get this up! I'll go back and read over it once I'm done with finals (Friday)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it. Bubble Guppies is the favorite show of my boss' kids, and I know way too much about it, so... enjoy all of the references to the show! 
> 
> As always, PLEASE comment! Your thoughts and suggestions make me so very happy and encourage me to write!
> 
> follow the twitter I created for this fic/universe. @needaherofic. All of your DMS/tweets are marvelous.
> 
> happy holidays, good luck on finals to all!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas!!!! (to those who celebrate it!) and happy birthday to the lovely Louis!
> 
> hope you enjoy the chapter!

“Ni, will you please get Mcdonald’s with me?” Louis asked, looking at his bandmate with wide eyes. He knew his daddy didn’t want him eating it, but would he risk looking like a meanie and saying no after Niall promised to go with him? Maybe. That’s why Louis was going to go without telling him.

 

“Of course, bud, let me get my wallet!” Niall said, giving Louis a grin. It would be his first chance to really be alone with Louis since he found out he was little, and he was overjoyed.

 

Louis looked to make sure his daddy wasn’t looking; he was caught up in a conversation Lou and Caroline. Perfect. They were practicing in a huge warehouse, the only place that was big enough to fit their stage for the tour. It was the first day that they were practicing on it, and Louis was in awe of how huge it was. He couldn’t wait to play in stadiums again.

 

He looked up to see Niall waving him over, Louis checking one more time to make sure Harry wasn’t looking before scampering over. He felt a bit guilty, but he really needed Mcdonald’s. His daddy would be fine, he’d be back in just a minute anyways. Basil and Alberto lead them out of the dark warehouse, his bodyguard strapping him in his car seat once in the car. He couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed; Niall loved him, he knew that!

 

“Where’s Harry,” Alberto asked as he started the car, directing his question to Niall.

 

“He’s inside, was talkin’ to Lou I think.” Alberto shrugged, driving off. This was the first time he’d seen Louis without Harry in almost a month, he was surprised that the man was letting Louis go off alone, but it wasn’t his job to question that, was it?

 

A short drive to Mcdonald’s later, they started pulling up to the drive thru.

 

Niall groaned, “Not the drive thru, let’s go in! We have time, no one’s here, we’re fine.”

 

Louis felt his stomach clench up at that, not quite sure he was okay with getting out of the car. He hadn’t been in public for almost a month, the only time fans got a glimpse of him was through the gate at the studio.

 

“Are you good going in, Lou?” Basil asked, looking back at the boy.

 

“He’s fine! Right Lou?” Niall asked, looking at his bandmate. Unable to upset his friend, Louis nodded his head.

 

Alberto let out a sigh, backing up and pulling into a parking spot. Niall bent over and undid Louis’ car seat, Basil opening the boy’s door and giving him a hand as he hopped out.

 

He was wearing sweatpants, thankfully, but he was still nervous that someone would spot him. This wasn’t how he expected his first traipse back into the real world to be. He thought he’d be with his daddies, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized this wasn’t a good idea. Taking a deep breath, Louis walked into the restaurant, praying that no one would notice him.

 

Harry was freaking the fuck out. He went over to talk to Lou and Caroline about getting a new wardrobe for Louis, as his skin was growing increasingly sensitive, and when he went to grab the boy to ask what he wanted for lunch he was gone. Zayn and Liam said that the last time they saw him he was with Niall. Harry had never felt more panicked in his life, wondering where the hell his baby went. He tried to breathe, knowing that calling the police wouldn’t help anything at the moment. Getting his thoughts together, he texted Alberto.

 

**Is Louis with you??????? Please tell me he’s with you????**

 

Almost immediately he received a reply.

 

_Yeah, we’re at McDs. He said u told him he could go?_

 

Harry was taken aback by that, this being the first time that Louis had done something naughty.

 

**I didn’t. Please make sure he gets back here safe. And quickly. Please.**

 

_Don’t kill me for doing my job, H. Fans just came up and asked for a pic. I told them no, but your boy told them yes._

 

**Okay. Get him back here please. Make sure he eats first. And get him water.**

 

Regardless of how irate he was, Harry couldn’t help but prioritize his boy’s basic needs. Harry knew that he and Nick were in for a fun afternoon. He quickly called the older man and filled him in on what had happened, preparing him for the conversation to be had when they got home.

 

Louis walked back in, hiding himself behind Alberto. Harry tried not to be endeared by the sight, but he couldn’t help it. He waited for Louis and Niall to join him on the stage where he, Liam, and Zayn already stood. Niall hopped up quickly, excited to get back to it, but Louis moved up slowly, looking down at the ground. Harry stayed still, arms crossed tightly across his chest while he waited for the boy.  

 

Unable to remain patient anymore, Harry walked over to where Louis had just climbed onto the stage.

 

“Are you okay?” Harry asked. It made him sick to his stomach thinking about his little boy being out in public without him, especially for the first time since he was outed.

 

Louis looked up, nervous to see the expression on his daddy’s face. It was worse than he thought, a mixture of worry and disappointment. He didn’t want his daddy to be sad, especially because of him. Leaning in, Louis hugged Harry tightly. “Love you. Best daddy in the world!”

 

Harry chuckled humorlessly and gave his little boy a kiss on the hair. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you, Louis. We’ll talk when we get home.”

 

All of the feeling drained out of Louis’ body at his words. Louis’ mind was panicked, automatically leading him to the conclusion that Harry was going to tell him he didn’t want him anymore. Not that he realized it, but if he was still playing gad Louis he would’ve never of come to that conclusion. The juvenile state of his mind prioritized emotions over rational thought, and it was evident how true that was with the situation currently taking place.

 

Louis tried his best to finish up practice well, only Harry noticing that he was anything but chipper. Once strapped in his car seat on the way home, Louis nervously spared a glance over at Harry. The man was scrolling on his phone with a look of concentration on his face. Jackie had sent him a long email outlining questions about Louis. He let her know that yes, Louis wanted to do meet and greets, and yes, he would be ready to do an interview once he was in the states. He was so concentrated on replying quickly that he didn’t realize how distraught his boy had become at his silence.

 

Pulling up to their home, Harry unbuckled Louis who sprung out of the car and went inside. He knew what he had to do. He regretted going to Mcdonald’s, he just wanted Niall to think he was cool, he thought miserably. Nick wasn’t even waiting for him at the door, another bad sign. His fate was sealed; he was going to be alone forever. He trudged up the stairs, holding onto the railing as it was growing increasingly hard to see with the tears that were forming in his eyes. He moved to his nursery, thinking about what he needed to grab. Lacy was the first on his list, leaning into his crib to grab her where she lay, he needed a paci, and some diapers. He could live for a while off of that, right? He grabbed some diapers and tucked them under his elbow with Lacy. He took off his vans and went to grab his Bubble Guppies shoes, knowing he couldn’t leave them behind. Louis quickly grew frustrated as he tried to put his strap on shoes on, confused on why they didn’t feel right. He knew that they fit as he’d worn them around the house, enamored by the way they lit up when he stomped.

 

Looking back at his room one last time, he started to walk to the staircase. He was crying silently at this point, wondering why he had to have been a bad boy and leave without his daddy. Once down the stairs, feet already hurting from his shoes, he walked to the living room so he could get out of the house. He didn’t know where he was going to go, but he knew he wasn’t wanted anymore.

 

A cough drew him out of his sad inner monologue, looking up to see his daddies- Harry and Nick- sitting on the couch.

 

Harry and Nick were close to bursting out in laughter at the sight of their little boy with a pacifier tucked on one finger, his stuffed lion, and a few diapers. “Where are you going, love?” Nick asked.

 

“I-I don’t know. I’m leaving, ‘m sorry for being a bad boy,” Louis whimpered, unable to look at them any longer.

 

“Baby, why don’t you come sit on the couch. Let’s get your shoes off, they’re on the wrong feet, silly boy,” Harry cooed, wanting to have a conversation with their little runaway.

 

“I said I’m leaving! You don’t want naughty Louis,” the boy said, unable to stop himself from bawling at that point. Nick let out a small sigh, standing up and grabbing the boy. He sat him on his lap on the couch, Harry reaching over to take his shoes off.

 

“Louis doesn’t want to l-leave,” the little sobbed, curling his fingers in Nick’s hair.

 

“We don’t want you to leave either, sweetheart,” Harry soothed, rubbing his hand down the boys back.

 

“B-but I was n-n-naughty,” he cried, not understanding why his daddies didn’t want him to leave. He was bad! Why would they want a little boy who didn’t follow the rules? It didn’t make any sense to him.

 

“You didn’t follow the rules, but that doesn’t make you a bad boy. You’re never a bad boy, pumpkin,” Harry explained slowly.

 

Louis eventually stopped crying, and Nick began to speak.

 

“Can you tell us what happened today, Louis?” Nick asked.

 

The little took a deep breath, “I wanted nuggets. And Niall asked me to go! I didn’t want to tell him I couldn’t. I knew daddy wouldn’t want me to because it’s yucky food.”

 

“Do you know how worried daddy was when he couldn’t find you?” Harry asked.

 

Louis looked up at his daddy with wide eyes, crawling over into his lap. “Daddy, don’t be scared! I was just getting nuggets, I’m right here.”

 

Harry and Nick understood that Louis had never had anyone who worried about him, and trying to explain how much they cared about him was a bit of a task. It was hard to explain to someone who had never received love until they were 21 that when you love someone you want them to be safe.

 

“I know, baby, and I’m so glad you’re right here. But daddy and papa love you so very much and need to know where you are at all times, okay? Remember our rules? The most important one is that you stay safe, and that means letting us know where you go.”

 

“I don’t have to leave?” Louis asked, mind only able to focus on whether or not his daddies wanted to get rid of him. He thought about his mother and how quick she was to abandon him, and he couldn’t help but fear that his daddy and papa would do the same.

 

“You never have to leave, little cub. We love you so very much, even when you break the rules. That will never change,” Nick promised.

 

The incident had made Louis ridiculously clingy, never leaving his daddies for even a second. He cried when he was put down for a nap, not sleeping until his papa lay on the couch with him. Fifteen minutes of wailing cries when they put him to bed were enough for them to allow him to sleep with them. They had two days until they left, and the daddies were sick with worry about how this development would effect how Louis reacted to leaving his papa.

 

By Tuesday night, the daddies were feeling guilty about how relieved they were to know they had a night alone together. They knew they needed it, and would regret it if they didn’t go out. When Anne arrived the men took the momentary distraction of Louis as a chance to go upstairs and change. Harry put on a pair of his signature black jeans and a light blue button-down, buttons undone of course. Nick got dressed in a similar outfit, donning a red collared shirt. Both of the men looked at the other and felt an overwhelming feeling of lust, feeling unsure of how they got such a handsome partner.

 

They headed down to the living room to see Louis on Anne’s lap pointing to the television where Doc McStuffins was playing. Trying to be as nonchalant about it as possible, the men quickly pressed kisses to Louis’ lips and gave him a squeeze.

 

“Have a fun night with nana, baby! We can’t wait to hear all about it,” Nick said.

 

What were they talking about? Where were they going?

 

“Where are you going?” Louis asked, tears already filling his light blue eyes.

 

“We’re just going out to dinner, pumpkin, we’ll be back when you wake up in the morning!” Harry promised. He wasn’t sure how late they’d be out, so he didn’t want to tell the boy to wait up for them. With the eleven hour time change in Australia, he didn’t want the boy to mess up his sleeping schedule.

 

“Don’t leave me,” Louis sobbed, getting up off of Anne’s lap. He ran over to his papa and threw himself on him, wrapping his arms around the man’s legs.

 

Harry bent down next to the boy, cooing softly. “Baby, we will be back soon! Nana is going to order pizza and make you yummy cookies, you’ll have so much fun you won’t even know we left!”

 

“What if you don’t come back,” Louis worried, tears falling quickly.

 

“Little cub, of course we’re going to come back! Nana can even put you to sleep in our bed and when you wake up we’ll be right there.”

 

“You promise?” The little asked, the feeling of terror in his chest heavy.

 

“Pinky promise, baby,” Harry said, holding out his pinky to the little boy.

 

“Now give daddy and I kisses and then go have fun with your nana!” Nick said, reaching down to pick the boy up. Louis was still sniffling and took the chance to wipe his tears on his papa’s shirt. Nick laughed, realizing that he was never going to be completely clean again while having a little boy around.

 

Anne called Louis over to where she’d moved by the staircase, jiggling a box of beads. The boy skipped over to her, mood changing at the prospect of doing crafts. Silently thanking her, Nick and Harry quickly left the house. Even though they knew their baby was in capable hands, they couldn’t help but feel guilty.

 

“All right, now it’s nana and Louis time! Give me your hand and we can walk up the stairs!” Anne said, holding her hand out for Louis. Harry had explained how Louis fell down the last few stairs the day before, the boy becoming a bit wobbly. The woman was more than happy to hold the boy’s hand, overjoyed at the prospect of spending the night alone with him.

 

Once up the stairs, Louis pulled the woman into his nursery. “Let’s make beads for my daddies!” He exclaimed, setting himself down in the adult sized plastic craft table set in the corner of the room.

 

“What a great idea, angel! Let me get everything we’ll need out,” She said, ducking down to peek in the plastic drawers. Grabbing child friendly scissors, construction paper, markers, crayons, and uncooked macaroni before heading to the table.

 

“What’s in your box, nana?” Louis asked, bouncing eagerly on his seat.

 

“Let’s take a look!” She exclaimed, opening the box, “We have some string, and lots of different bead colors! Would you like to make bracelets?”

 

Looking forlorn, Louis admitted, “I’ve never played with beads! Will you please help me, nana?”

 

Anne really was falling in love with the little boy in front of her, wondering how any mother could ever neglect him. Louis was completely enthusiastic about learning how to bead and asked for three lines of string so that he could make bracelets for him and his daddies. He made sure that they were absolutely perfect, putting the prettiest beads that he could find on the stretchy string. Finally finished with the bracelets, Louis held them away from his face to look at them. He couldn’t wait to show them to his daddies!

 

Looking at the bracelets, he started to cry. He messed his daddy’s up, putting beads that spelled “dady” instead of “daddy”. His daddy was going to be so upset, it would take him so long to make another bracelet.

 

“What’s wrong, lovely?” Anne asked the boy, scooting her chair over to his.

 

“I messed up!” He cried, shoving the bracelet in his nana’s face.

 

Anne cooed, rubbing the boy’s shoulder. She knew without a doubt that Harry would find the little boy’s mistake absolutely adorable, but could see how distraught Louis was. “Sweetheart, it’s okay! It looks amazing, he isn’t even going to notice.”

 

“He is going to be sad I messed up!”

 

“Do you know the best part about daddies, Louis?” Anne asked, Louis responding by shaking his head quickly. “The best part about daddies is they love you no matter what! I promise that he will love it, and that he loves you so very much.”

 

Before Louis could reply, Anne’s phone started ringing.

 

“Hello? Yeah, of course! I’ll be down in a second,” She answered, hanging up.

 

“Who was it? Daddy?” Louis asked, overjoyed at the prospect of his daddies already being home.

 

“Not daddy, love, it was Dale. He brought us some yummy pizza for dinner!”

 

Louis clapped his hands together, quickly standing up. He linked his hand with Anne’s, holding onto her hand as they walked down the stairs. Knowing that his daddies didn’t want him answering the door, he waited for his nana to do it. He was excited to see Dale, especially because he had three boxes in his hand.

 

“Hey guys, there’s the pizza, breadsticks, and salad! Anything else I can get you?” Dale asked, handing over the pizza.

 

“I think we’re all set! Thank you, Dale, have a good night!” Anne said with a smile.

 

“Thank you!” Louis said before skipping into the kitchen. He jumped up in his highchair, Anne chuckling as she watched the eager boy. She placed the pizza down before strapping him in and locking his tray in.

 

“What would you like to drink, little love?” She asked, grabbing plates and a sippy cup.

 

“Apple juice, please!”

 

Truth be told, Louis didn’t even think about his daddies until he was getting ready for bed. He felt overwhelmingly sad thinking about them, wondering why they didn’t want to stay home and play with him. They always told him how fun he was to play with, so why did they decide to leave?”

 

Once dressed for bed, his nana told him she was going to make his baba and she’d be right back upstairs. He took the minute to go and grab his bracelets from where they were sitting on the now cleaned up craft table, wanting to hide them in his crib so he could give them to his daddies at the perfect time.

 

Climbing into his daddies’ bed, he didn’t feel the same sense of excitement that he usually did, because his daddies weren’t there to cuddle him. He couldn’t help but tear up thinking about it, wishing that his daddies were with him.

 

“What’s with the sad face, love?” Anne asked, walking in.

 

“I miss my daddies,” Louis said honestly.

 

“Aw, love, they miss you too! Do you want to call them and wish them goodnight?”

 

“Please,” Louis said, curling into the woman’s side. Anne crossed her fingers that they’d pick up, quite sure that they were waiting for a phone call from the little boy.

 

She put the phone on speaker, the phone being picked up after the first ring.

 

“Hello?” Harry answered.

 

“Daddy! It’s me,” Louis said, perking up in excitement at hearing his daddy’s voice.

 

Harry stood up from the table, motioning to Nick to follow him to the restroom. It was a private bathroom, so Harry locked the door after Nick, putting the phone on speaker.

 

“Hi sweetheart, can you hear me?” Harry asked.

 

“Yes, daddy! I said it’s me!” Louis said.

 

Chuckling, Nick asked, “How is your night with nana going?”

 

“Good! Nana is so fun to play with! We made presents for you and ate pizza.”

 

“That sounds delicious, pumpkin. Are you going to bed?” Harry questioned.

 

“Yeah,” Louis sighed dramatically, “I don’t wanna sleep without you! I miss you.”

 

“We’ll be home when you wake up, little cub. Just drink your baba and we’ll be home before you know it,” Nick promised.

 

“Okay, Nicky. Love you, love you, love you!” Louis said, the sound of him pressing his lips together in a kiss heard on the other end of the phone.

 

“And we love you so much, angel. Goodnight! Thanks mum,” Harry said before hanging up.

 

Louis rested up against his nana’s side while he drank his bottle, soothed by her humming. He was asleep before he was fully finished with the drink, not even staying awake long enough to say goodnight to the woman. Anne tucked the little boy in with his stuffed lion, pressing a kiss to his forehead before heading downstairs. Harry and Nick were home by 9:30, profusely thanking Anne before she headed out.

 

“Truly, you have no need to thank me. I love that little boy more than most things in my life. If I’m being honest, Robin and I are seeing if we can work in a trip to visit on the European leg of the tour. We’ve always wanted to go to Paris, and I’ll get to see his sweet face…. And you, of course, dear.”

 

Harry chuckled at his mum’s words, “I know how you feel mum, we both do. He’s perfect. But I would love if you and Robin could make it out. Nick’s joining us for the European dates, so that would be lovely.”

 

The men were quiet as they headed into their room, turning on lamps instead of the main light so that they wouldn’t wake Louis up. Their efforts were futile as the boy woke up almost instantly, letting out a whine.

 

“Shhh, love, it’s just your daddy and I,” Nick soothed from where he was in the walk in closet changing into his pajamas.

 

“Paci,” the boy said, patting his hands around the center of the bed. Nick couldn’t help but laugh as he watched, the boy’s eyes were shut as he searched for the pacifier that was sitting right next to him.

 

“Here you are, love,” Nick said, placing the paci in the boy’s mouth as he slid into bed. Grumbling, the little invaded Nick’s personal space, draping himself over his papa before falling back asleep. Nick knew that if anyone else had even attempted to lay on him like that he would’ve pushed them off without a second thought, but this little boy was looking to be the exception to most things Nick believed. He wouldn’t change it for anything.

 

\------------------

Louis was 100% sure that there was no place on earth he wanted to be at less than Caroline and Lou’s studio. It was the day before they left for tour, and he had been stuck trying on clothes for what seemed like years.

 

Harry was lounging on a couch in the corner of the room, trusting the two women to help Louis. He, Caroline, and Lou had wanted to figure out a new wardrobe for Louis now that he was being more particular about the fabrics he wore and was scared his diaper would show. The little had no qualms about his diaper showing in front of Caroline and Lou, he’d known them for so long that he knew they wouldn’t judge him.

 

When the p-dom went to talk to the two women about Louis and tried to create a story about why he wanted to help Louis pick out new clothes they laughed. And laughed. They laughed for a good ten minutes, telling him that they had known since the first time they saw them together after Louis came out as a little. That was that, it seemed.

 

“I know you’re going to want to say no, but just try them on,” Caroline said, handing Louis a pair of what looked like jeans.

 

“But-“

 

“No buts! Trust me. They’re jeans that are specifically made with littles in mind.”

 

Louis tried them on and felt like he’d gone and went to heaven. He let out a pleased sigh, walking over to the mirror that spanned the wall. Surprised at the fact that they looked just as good as they felt, he gasped.

 

“Told you so,” Caroline sang smugly, “you’ll be happy to know that I ordered twelve pairs in black and eight in dark blue. You’re welcome.”

 

Harry let out a snort, he still wasn't quite used to the way that their stylist and make up artist knew them so well.

 

Louis was already taking the jeans off, back in just a diaper.

 

“All right, there’s just one thing left to try on, dear. I think you’ll like it quite a lot,” Caroline said, heading over to the clothes rack she had set up. She pulled out a black crew neck sweater that was covered in white silhouettes of the Bubble Guppies.

 

“Guppies!” Louis said, pulling the sweater on. It looked ridiculously cool, and it would be impossible to know what the silhouettes were of unless someone knew what the show was. “I’m never taking it off!” Louis exclaimed.

 

“Pumpkin, why don’t you say thank you and hand the sweater back? I promise you’ll get to wear it on tour, but we need it to stay with the rest of your outfits.”

 

Letting out a melodramatic sigh, Louis took the sweater off. “Thank you for the sweater! I wish I could keep it,” the boy handed it over, staring at it longingly.

 

“I think I can get another one made, no promises, though. I’ll see what I can do!” Caroline said, unable to resist the little’s pout. He truly had everyone wrapped around his finger.

 

With Louis’ wardrobe taken care of, they were officially ready to leave for tour. All the boys had to look forward to that night was a relaxing time at home. Harry knew it was his last night with Nick for a while, and he was certain he'd make the most of it.

 

\--------------

Louis woke up extremely excited the next morning. His daddies had packed everything he needed, and now he got to go to Australia! Daddy promised him that he could go swimming with dolphins in a few days and he couldn’t wait. They were leaving for the airport after breakfast, and Louis was patiently waiting for his daddies to come get him so that they could eat. He grabbed his bracelets from where they were hidden under his mattress and put them around Lacy’s neck. He couldn’t forget them, he was finally going to give them to his daddies on the plane.

 

Nick was sick to his stomach as he listened to Louis sing about Australia on the baby monitor. As each second passed he realized how awful of an idea it was not to tell the boy, because he clearly didn’t know that all three of them wouldn’t be together. He hoped with every fiber of his being that Louis would understand, but he knew that he would react in just the way a true child would; a complete and utterly heartbreaking tantrum.

 

Breakfast was a weird affair; it consisted of an extremely happy Louis, and Nick and Harry trying to fake happiness for the boy’s sake. Alberto texted them that he’d be there in an hour to pick them up. After Louis’ teeth were brushed they headed down to the living room where all of their bags were.

 

Nick sat down with Louis on his lap, Harry taking a seat next to them. The papa began to rub Louis’ tummy just the way that he liked, hoping to calm the boy before he started talking. Praying to whatever God there was, Nick began.

 

“I’m going to miss you so much, little cub. Are you going to be a good boy for your daddy?” Nick asked.

 

Looking at him confused, Louis said, “Why are you gonna miss me, silly Nicky? We’re going to Australia together!”

 

“Baby, I’m not going on tour with you. I have to stay and do my job here in London.”

 

Stiffening in Nick’s lap, Louis’ face crumpled, “What?”

 

Louis looked at his papa with tears filling his eyes, his breathing beginning to get heavy. Why wouldn’t papa come on tour? Didn’t he want to stay with him and daddy?

 

“I can’t leave work, love. We’ll talk on the phone every day and we can even videochat!”

 

Unable to stop the torrent of emotions that was building up inside of him, Louis started wailing. “Why why why why wouldn’t you come?”

 

Still speaking calmly, Nick repeated himself for the third time, “Baby, I can’t leave work. I have a job just like you and daddy do.”

 

Louis pushed himself off of Nick’s lap, throwing himself to the floor. He buried his face in the carpet, slamming his fists down on the ground. Nick and Harry shared a concerned look, not sure of how to proceed.

 

After a few minutes of the boy’s cries not dying down, Nick got onto the ground and gently grabbed the boy’s fists, opening them up. Louis let out an anguished sob at seeing the man’s face, pained knowing he wouldn’t have his papa around for a few weeks. “Papa, don’t leave me,” Louis cried, finally allowing the man the pleasure of having a name from his little.

 

Nick felt his heart grow twenty times its normal size at the four letter word, but also felt his heart break at knowing he wouldn’t hear it in person for almost three weeks.

 

“Papa isn’t leaving you, sweetheart, he loves you so so much. I’ll be right here when you’re back with lots of kisses and cuddles, I promise.”

 

“Papa,” Louis cried again, picking himself up and crawling into Nick’s lap. He pressed snotty, tear soaked kisses all over the man’s face and lips, and truth be told Nick has never felt more loved in his life.

 

“Papa’s right here, my sweet little cub,” Nick cooed, rubbing the boy’s back.

 

“You can’t q-quit?” Louis asked, looking up at Nick with wide, innocent eyes.

 

“No, love, I can’t quit. But it’s okay! I’ll see you and daddy so very soon. Daddy is going to take such good care of you, I promise.”

 

“B-but, what if you find a new little boy? What about Louis?” The little asked, face pained at the thought of his papa finding a better little than him.

 

Nick wanted to cry at the words, wishing that he could let the little hear his thoughts for just five minutes so he could never question how loved he was again. “You’re the best little boy in the world, my angel. Your daddy and I could never love someone the way we love you, I promise.” Holding out his pinky to Louis, they interlocked their little fingers in what was the most important pinky promise the boy had ever been a part of.

 

“I don’t want you to leave me, papa. Daddy’s gonna be sad without you!” Louis said, sparing a look over Nick’s shoulder for Harry.

 

“You’re right, sweetheart, I am going to miss papa. But I can call him every day, and you can too! I promise tour will fly by,” Harry said. The man was having a hard time not getting emotional as he usually did when he left Nick, but he knew he had to be strong for their little boy.

 

“Can we buy him presents?” Louis asked.

 

“Of course we can, he’d love that,” Harry assured, smiling, “Alberto just texted me, they’re going to be here in about ten minutes. Let’s give papa lots of hugs and kisses goodbye, okay?”

 

“I have a present!” Louis said, getting up and walking to the couch to grab the bracelets off of Lacy’s neck. “Close your eyes!” Louis said excitedly.

 

He dropped the bracelets in his daddies’ palms, and shouted for them to open their eyes. He’d placed his own creation around his wrist and looked up to see their reactions.

 

Both of the men smiled hugely, showering their boy with praises.

 

“I spelled daddy wrong, ‘m sorry,” Louis said, looking down. Harry had barely noticed the misspelling, feeling so much love in his heart at the boy’s thoughtful gift.

 

“I didn’t even notice, pumpkin. I love it so much, thank you for such a thoughtful gift. Can I take a picture of them?”

 

Louis nodded enthusiastically, happy at the prospect of his daddies wanting a picture of his creations. The men placed their wrists together, Harry snapping a picture of the names that were on the bracelets. It was perfect.

 

“I’m going to wear it every day, it’ll remind me of your sweet face,” Nick said, smiling.

 

Harry felt his phone vibrating on his leg, feeling a sense of dread at knowing their family’s parting was upon them.

 

“Dale just texted me, they’re pulling up,” Harry said, standing up from the couch. He offered his hands to Louis where he was sitting on Nick’s lap on the ground, the boy standing up wearily. The doorbell rang and Harry went to get it, letting in Dale and Alberto. The men walked back in the living room to the sight of Nick carrying a crying Louis around the room, whispering in the little’s ear.

 

“Long morning, eh?” Alberto asked.

 

“That’s an understatement,” Harry said.

 

“We’ll grab everything, don’t worry about it,” Dale said, starting to pick up the assortment of bags that were on the floor.

 

“Thank you, just leave the light blue diaper bag and black backpack, everything else can go,” Harry said, giving the men a grateful smile.

 

“Sweetheart, you’ve got to say bye to papa. You’re going to see him very soon, promise.”

 

“I l-love you papa,” Louis cried, squeezing his arms around the man’s neck tightly. Nick gently bent down to place the boy on the floor, knowing that him and Harry needed to get going.

 

“And I love you so much, little cub. You’re going to have so much fun, I can’t wait to hear about everything that you and daddy do!”

 

“I love you papa,” Louis repeated, standing on his tiptoes to press kisses on Nick’s face.

 

“One more kiss,” Nick said. Louis gave his papa one more kiss, trying not to cry. He would see his papa soon, he promised.

 

One more kiss turned into lots of kisses as Nick carried him out to the car, putting him in his car seat. Louis placed Lacy on the seat next to him while his papa buckled him in.

 

“Love you, love you, love you, my perfect little boy. I’ll see you before you know it.” Nick said, giving the boy one last kiss on the lips.

 

“Love you papa. Can I have a paci?” Louis asked, milking the man for one final favor.

 

“Of course you can,” Nick said, grabbing the diaper bag from where it was sat on the floor of the car. He popped the Avengers patterned pacifier in the boy’s mouth before saying goodbye one final time.

 

“Bye sweetheart,” Nick said, waving to the boy before shutting the door. He headed to the garage where Harry was waiting for him.

 

“It’s going to be fine, baby,” Nick promised, rubbing his finger over Harry’s furrowed brow.

 

“I know, I’m just going to miss you. It never gets easier,” Harry answered honestly, pressing a kiss to Nick’s lips.

 

“I know, I’ll see you soon enough. I love you, popstar,” Nick said, kissing Harry. Their last kiss was always the hardest part, knowing that that was the moment that they’d remember in their time apart.

 

“I love you more, I’ll call you when we land,” Harry said, kissing Nick quickly. He gave his boyfriend one last tight hug before walking away, waving before he got in the car. Tour was officially underway.

 

Louis grew increasingly grumpier as they drove to the airport, Alberto opening the partition to let them know that there were fans waiting at the private terminal. The boy just wanted to be on the plane so that he could sleep, he didn’t want to have to deal with anyone right now. He missed his papa and didn’t want to be yelled at by the paparazzi that were inevitably waiting.

 

Pulling up to the runway there were fans about fifteen feet away, Harry would guess that there were 70 or so.

 

“We’re going to get you guys on the plane and then we’ll come back for your bags. You still want me to bring the car seat, H?” Dale asked, looking at the p-dom.

 

“Sounds good, and yeah, if you don’t mind.”

 

“Of course not. Let’s do this,” Dale said.

 

“Baby, do you want to take your pacifier out? There are paps out there,” Harry asked, not sure if the boy would want to spit the item out. It angered him to know that paparazzi would completely disregard the law so that they could get pictures of the boy, but he wanted him to be prepared just in case.

 

Louis simply shook his head, making no move to take the item out. The little’s car door was opened, and Preston, Alberto, Paddy, and Dale were in front of him.

 

“Grab the blue bag,” Alberto directed, leaning over to unbuckle Louis’ harness. Paddy leaned down to grab the bag, offering Louis his hand to jump out once he was free from his restraints. Making sure to grab Lacy under one arm, Louis grabbed Paddy’s hand with his free one and jumped onto the concrete, the four guards suddenly standing on all four sides of him.

 

The screams started almost immediately, both paparazzi and fans trying to attract the little’s attention. He heard the scrape of the metal gates against the pavement and immediately tensed up. Hooking his arm with Alberto’s much bigger one, he felt a bit safer.

 

“Almost there, bud,” Alberto promised, quickly checking behind them to make sure the fans hadn’t broken out of the gate. They certainly were moving it forward, but they were nowhere near where the little was walking, thankfully.

 

“All right, Paddy’s going to go first and then you’re going to climb up the stairs to the plane, okay?” Alberto guided him. Nodding, Louis quickly followed Liam’s guard up the stairs, breathing a sigh of relief behind his pacifier once he was on the plane. Niall, Liam, and Zayn were already seated on there along with other security guards, Lou, and Caroline. The private plane was spacious and had seats that fully reclined into beds that would make the long plane ride a lot more comfortable. Louis sucked on his pacifier anxiously, going to sit down next to Niall while he waited for his daddy.

 

“You ready for Oz, mate?” Niall asked, electric smile on his face. Louis nodded, leaning his head on the Irish gad’s shoulder. Niall let out a coo, excited that Louis was finally showing him affection. It lasted all of two seconds, as Harry walked onto the plane and Louis was out of his seat at the speed of light.

 

“Hi lovebug,” Harry smiled, patting the little’s head, “Let’s go sit down.”

 

The plane was equipped with flat screen TVs for every row of seats, a kind staff of stewardesses, and like Louis had noticed, extremely comfy seats.

 

Once they were seated, the pilot came on the intercom letting them know that the flight was about to take off.

 

A kind looking stewardess walked up to Louis and Harry’s row, bending over while she talked to Louis. “Hi deary, my name is Eve, if you need anything don’t be afraid to let me know!”

 

Louis liked the way that Eve talked to him and noticed how her smile resembled his nana’s. He took his pacifier out before speaking, “Hi, Ms. Eve, do you have a baba? ‘m tired.”

 

Harry cut in, “Love, I have your bottle, the flight is about to take off, so maybe Eve can fill it with warm milk once we’re in the air.” The daddy handed the stewardess the bottle, thanking her.

 

“What nice manners!” Eve commended Louis, “I’ll fill your bottle right up once we’re in the air and bring it back to you.”

 

After thanking the woman, Harry strapped Louis in. “Are you excited, Loulou?”

 

“Yeah! I can’t wait to sing new songs,” Louis said, smiling while thinking about it.

 

“Let’s do this!” Niall yelled as the plane was taking off, everyone in their secluded section at the front of the plane yelling in response and clapping their hands. Louis squeezed his eyes shut as the plane took off, grabbing Harry’s hand. He let out a sigh of relief once they were in the air, happy that the plane didn’t fall apart or break when they were headed up.

 

A few minutes later Eve brought Louis a bottle filled with warm milk, the boy happy to have the drink. She helped Harry transform Louis’ seat into a bed, a simple sliding out of a segment and the reclining of the boy’s chair. Harry grabbed a blanket that he’d brought from Louis’ crib, making sure the boy and Lacy were tucked in tightly.

 

“Baba please,” Louis said, laying back on the airplane bed.

 

“Here you go angel, sweet dreams,” Harry said to the boy. He stroked his hair while the boy drank the bottle, his blinking gradually slowing until he fell asleep. Harry popped the bottle out of his mouth and stuck a pacifier in, the boy quickly beginning to suck on his beloved item.

 

Harry stood up, walking over to where Liam, Zayn, and Niall were sitting in a row.

 

“Sup H,” Niall said, giving the man a smile.

 

“Not much, just got Lou to sleep. Ridiculously excited to land already, though.”

 

“Don’t get too excited, lad, we’ve got a while,” Liam said, drawing a groan from all of the guys. They had about 12 hours until the landed in Singapore for a refuel, but even then they didn’t have a chance to get off of the plane.

 

“Is Lou ready to go?” Zayn asked, curious to know how the boy was feeling about getting back on tour.

 

“He could barely sleep last night he was so ready to go. A bit of waterworks this morning with having to say goodbye to Nick, but he’s ecstatic. The fact that it’s a short tour doesn’t hurt either.”

 

“Amen to that,” Niall said, pretending to toast his bandmates.

 

“Do you know if we’re still gonna be doing meet and greets? I know Jackie was tellin’ me that it was up to Louis,” Liam asked.

 

“He decided that he wants to do them, so we’ll see how they go. I mean let’s be honest, if people are willing to spend that much to meet us I don’t think they’ll be rude,” Harry said.

 

“And he has all of us there in case anything does go to shit. Little bugger makes my heart melt, I don’t know what he’s doing to me!” Niall said, laughing.

 

“I know exactly what you mean, couldn’t be more in love with him if I tried,” Harry sighed, looking back to where the little was sleeping.

 

“Sounds serious. I mean, you guys aren’t… like that… you know what I mean? If you are it’s fine… I just can’t see Louis being like that,” Liam asked, eyes wide.

 

Harry was quick to deny his questions, “No, no, God no. Never. He’s the most innocent person I’ve ever met in my life, that’s not what this is for.”

 

“I was just wondering, mate, the only parent/little pair I know is pretty sexual about it, so I didn’t know.” Liam answered.

 

“And that’s fine, but… that’s not what Nick and I were looking for, and definitely not what Louis needs.”

 

“He’s noticeably different, I just want you to know that. Happier, more outgoing… it’s shit that we didn’t even notice that he was in such a bad place. But he’s so much better now, H, and it’s all thanks to you,” Zayn said, looking at Harry gratefully.

 

“Trying to make me cry, mate?” Harry said, a bit choked up. “But really, it’s all for him. He just deserves the best life, and Nick and I want to give it to him.”

 

“Well, I’d say you’re off to a good start. Now, enough of this Full House shit, I’m gonna go nap until we’re in Australia.” Niall said, starting to shift his seat into a bed.

 

“Niall… you know that’s 22 hours?” Zayn said slowly.

 

“Call me a squirrel, boys, I’m heading into hibernation.” Niall said, putting his noise-cancelling headphones over his ears with a salute to his bandmates.

 

“All right, I’m off to answer some emails, you know where to find me,” Harry said, standing up.

 

“You really are a dad, H, answering emails. How boring,” Zayn joked with a smile.

 

Louis woke up feeling disoriented and extremely uncomfortable. He couldn’t help but start to cry as he started to open his eyes, feeling grumpy and realizing that he messed his diaper.

 

Harry looked up from the book he was reading when he heard the boy next to him start to cry, quickly putting it down on the ground. “Shh, it’s okay pumpkin, daddy’s right here.”

 

“Daddy, need a change,” Louis cried, starting to sit up.

 

“All right, baby, no need to cry. Daddy will get you changed right now.” Harry leaned down to pick up the diaper bag off the ground, hooking it over one of his shoulders before picking Louis up from the converted bed. He shushed the boy as he whimpered, conscientious of the fact that Niall and Paddy were sleeping in their section. Eve had told him that the bathroom in the front of the plane had a changing table to accommodate littles, so that’s where he headed. They past the stewardess on the way up there, and she simply gave Harry a sympathetic smile while watching him carry the grumpy little boy.

 

“Here we go, baby, let’s get you changed.” Harry said, placing the boy on the adult-sized changing table. He pulled down Louis’ sweats before untaping his diaper.

 

“Want to watch Guppies, please,” Louis said, looking around the spacious bathroom. It was crazy to see what money could buy, Louis remembering the first time that the band flew anywhere and how crammed the bathrooms were on commercial flights.

 

“Of course, we can get Guppies set up when we’re sitting. Thank you for your nice manners, angel,” Harry praised, causing Louis to blush.

 

“I miss papa,” Louis said glumly.

 

“So do I, sweetheart, but we’re going to have so much fun! We can call papa every night and tell him about what we did, and of course we’re going to send him pictures, he’d like that very much.”

 

The rest of the flight went on pretty smoothly, until they landed in Australia. Louis was feeling unusually clingy since they left, he didn’t want his daddy out of his sight. Any time the man so much as stood up, Louis would look up from his TV show and let out a distressed cry. The little took to following Harry, even waiting outside of the bathroom for him while he went.

 

When the plane landed, everyone started to get up. It was down to a science at that point, the crew getting off first and the boys getting off last. The director of the Kingsford Smith airport came onto the plane to welcome them and let them know that there were hundreds of fans awaiting their arrival. They knew by now that the only way out was through the fans, and the guards readied themselves. They had 12 guards on tour with them, two more than their usual number. Although Paul didn’t work directly with them anymore, he was still in charge of the company that supplied their security and sent two of his best out with the boys. The bigger they got the more security that was necessary, and with Louis’ classification they didn’t want to take any chances. Harry deeply appreciated it.

 

“All right, Harry and Zayn are going to go in the first car, then the other three are going to head out. Dale just took a lot out in the terminal and the fans are behind gates, it should be pretty easy. All good?” Phil, one of their guards, said. He’d come on with them at the beginning of last tour to take Paul’s place, and so far he’d been doing a pretty good job of it.

 

Louis felt his stomach drop at the words Harry and Zayn and the fact that they’d be getting into a car without him. He tightened his grip on his daddy’s waist exclaiming, “I’m going with daddy!”

 

Everyone tensed up a bit, knowing that Louis couldn’t go with Harry without drawing suspicion. Niall had been reading up on what the fans were saying, and there were already countless conspiracies about Harry being Louis’ p-dom, fans bringing up random pictures and videos and fawning over minute details. The fact of the matter was that Harry didn’t even know Louis was a little until two months prior, so anything the fans were coming up with was pure garbage. Louis didn’t want the world to know that he had daddies, so that was that; their security would obey his wishes.

 

“Louis, if you were to go with Harry then people would become suspicious. They’re already wondering if you two are paired, so this is to help you,” Phil explained patiently.

 

The little let out a huff, wishing that the man would understand. Louis didn’t want to be separated from his daddy, he was scared and knew his daddy would protect him. He’d always hated crowds, especially at airports. “I don’t care! I want to be with daddy.”

 

“Louis, angel, listen to what Phil is saying,” Harry explains gently, forcing the boy to look up at him, “Remember what our number one rule is?”

 

With tears in his eyes, Louis mumbled, “Louis has to be safe.”

 

“Good boy, that’s right! Now if Phil thinks that this will keep you safe, then we’re going to go with it.”

 

Louis couldn’t help but start crying, not understanding why this would keep him safe. “Want you daddy.”

 

Harry cooed, bending down to pick the boy up. “It’s okay, angel, I’ll see you in just a few minutes. I’ll be waiting at the hotel and we can watch a movie when you get there, okay?”

 

The boys and guards were standing there patiently, feeling bad for intruding on such an intimate moment.

 

Louis shook his head, squeezing his arms around Harry’s shoulders almost painfully. “No, need you now daddy.”

 

Liam interjected before Harry could speak, “Lou, Niall and I will be there with you, bud. You can hold one of our hands, we’ll even stop by Mcdonald’s on the way to the hotel to get ice cream. Sound good?” He made an executive decision to entice the boy with Mcdonald’s, knowing Harry would get over it if it made the boy let go of him.

 

The little looked up curiously at this, “Ice cream? And you won’t let go? You promise?”

 

The boys weren’t aware of how important promises had become to Louis in his time spent with Nick and Harry, but Liam knew that he needed to make the boy as comfortable as possible.

 

“Of course, Lou, I promise. Now come give me a cuddle while we wait to get off the plane, love.” Liam held his arms open with a smile, hoping that the boy would be excited enough by the prospect of Mcdonald’s to leave his daddy.

 

He looked at Harry, puckering his lips. Harry let out a small chuckle, pressing rapid kisses on Louis’ lips before placing him on the ground. “I love you, pumpkin. Be a good boy and I’ll see you in just a bit.”

 

Louis sniffled, rubbing his tear stained face on Harry’s shirt. “Love you, daddy.”

 

Dale clapped his hands together, “All right! Let’s roll out.” Harry grabbed his carry on, handing over Louis’ diaper bag to Alberto.

 

“Make sure you grab his car seat, thanks Albs,” Harry said, clapping the man on the shoulder.

 

Waving enthusiastically to Louis, Harry headed off the plane with Dale, Zayn, Preston, and Allen. Niall distracted Louis with conversation about the dolphins they were going to swim with the next day while Phil waited for a text that the first group had made it to the car. Once he received it he let the others know, and they started grabbing their things.

 

A representative from the airline who was going to walk them out asked if he could help with anything, and Alberto immediately handed him the car seat. Louis grabbed Lacy under one arm and tightly grabbed Liam’s hand with another, trying to keep his breathing under control.

 

“It’s all right, Lou, I’m going to be right here the whole time.” Alberto said, rubbing his boy’s shoulders.

 

“Okay,” Louis said shakily. He couldn’t help but be nervous, both the prospect of crowds and paparazzi completely freaking him out. He could do this. His daddy, Liam, and Alberto all promised him they’d keep him safe; he trusted them, he knew that he would be fine.

 

“All right, follow behind Leo and I,” Phil instructed, heading the group up. Louis was flanked by Alberto and Paddy on one side, Liam on the other. Niall was close behind them, other members of their team behind him and next to Liam. As soon as they’d stepped off the plane there were loud screams ringing in Louis’ ears, and he couldn’t help but tighten his grip on Liam’s hand. He made sure Lacy was tightly tucked under his arm, not wanting to know how he’d feel if she fell to the ground. The group turned a corner to where baggage claim was, and the screams of fans intensified tenfold. They were behind barriers that were slightly moving forward as the fans pushed, security standing in front of them trying to keep them erect. As they neared to where the fans were there were cameras shoved in their faces, both on phones and from paparazzi’s professional lenses.

 

Louis looked down trusting Liam to guide him where he needed to go. His ears picked up screams of his name, paparazzi asking question after question about who he wanted his p-doms to be, how young he regressed, and why he just came out.

 

He felt as though they were passed the barricades for hours, wishing his ears could block out the screams. He tried not to still at the clear voice of a pap ringing out, “Is that a diaper or your huge ass, Louis? The fans want to know!” Liam let out an angry huff beside him, urging the little to keep moving.

 

“It’s okay, love, it’s okay. We’re almost there,” Liam encouraged, squeezing the boy’s hand even tighter. Once outside the airport worker placed the boy’s car seat into the car quickly, Alberto pushing him out of the way to quickly wind the seatbelt into it to keep it secure. Fans were rushing outside, free of their barricades and seeing the momentary delay of the boys having to climb into the car as a chance to get a picture with them. Louis felt like he was going to throw up as he heard the fans running towards the car, wanting Alberto to hurry up. The man quickly picked up Louis and placed him in the car seat, strapping the boy in before slamming the door. The few lightning fast fans that had made it to the car cooed at the sight, snapping pictures of the little in the car seat. It truly was the most adorable sight the fans had ever seen, the littlest band member strapped into a car seat with a stuffed lion held to his chest.

 

“All good?” Phil asked calmly from the front seat, starting to drive.

 

Louis nodded, letting out a shaky breath. Liam patted his leg from where he sat beside him, Paddy and Alberto giving the boy encouraging smiles. Niall and the rest of their security were in a second car headed back to the hotel.

 

“Yeah, I’m good. I just don’t like how mean they are sometimes. Are we going to Mcdonald’s?”

 

Everyone chuckled, amused by how quick Louis’ mind changed gears. “That’s where we’re headed!” Phil said, shaking his head.

 

One ice cream cone later Louis was back at the hotel, Alberto dropping off an ice cream covered little at Harry’s door.

 

“What do we have here? A big ice cream cone?” Harry exclaimed, looking at the vanilla cream dripping down his little boy’s face.

 

“No daddy, it’s me! Louis!” the boy exclaimed, giggling at how his daddy thought he was something as delicious as ice cream.

 

Harry gasped, “Are you sure? You look like you’re a big vanilla scoop of ice cream! It’s all over you!”

 

“It’s me, it’s me! I didn’t have a bib and you and papa weren’t there to hold it, so I got it all over!”

 

“I can see that, angel! Let’s get you cleaned up. Say thank you to Alberto, babe, and tell him goodnight.”

 

Louis hugged Alberto in thanks, getting his sticky hands and face all over the guard’s shirt. The guard took it in stride, only grimacing while Louis couldn’t see.

 

“Any time, bud. I’ll see you tomorrow, rest up so you’re ready for the dolphins!”

 

The little let out an excited sound, ridiculously excited to play with the dolphins. He hoped they liked him.

 

Harry shut the door, ushering the boy into the bathroom. He started the large bathtub, happy that they stayed at hotels with such nice tubs. Undressing Louis, he grimaced at the sopping wet diaper the boy had. He hoped that he wouldn’t get a rash, knowing that Louis had been sitting in it for at least an hour.

 

Once bathed, Harry put the boy on his changing mat and changed him into a thick night diaper and onesie. “I know it’s afternoon back home, love, but it’s night time here. I don’t want you to be cranky tomorrow, so we’re going to go to bed now. Just get comfy in bed while daddy makes you a bottle.”

 

Louis nodded, confused by the time change. He never really understood how the times changed depending on where they were, but he just went with the flow.

 

“No crib?” Louis asked, confused.

 

“No crib, but if you want one then we can have one shipped to each hotel. But daddy thought you could just sleep with him.”

 

“I want to sleep with you, daddy. Love your cuddles,” Louis said shyly, blushing.

 

“I love your cuddles too, pumpkin.” Harry said smiling at his boy, screwing the cap on the bottle. He walked back to the bed, climbing on and patting the space between his legs. Louis crawled in between them, snuggling close to his daddy. He closed his eyes as he began to drink the warm milk, loving how it tasted after such a long flight. Harry was overjoyed at the fact that the boy fell asleep as he was finishing the bottle, hoping he’d be out like a light until what was morning in Sydney. They had a long day tomorrow, after all; it was time for Louis to finally swim with dolphins after 21 years of being deprived of the experience. Harry couldn’t wait to see the boy’s face light up with happiness; Louis deserved all of the love in the world, and Harry was happy to be able to give him it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments make me write quicker and give me tons of inspiration! let me know what you're thinking/what you want to see. I'm including some of the bodyguards, Phil isn't who took over for Paul, Dave did, but Phil is one of my favorite guards so I'm giving him a bigger role. Hope yall don't mind :)
> 
> follow me at @needaherofic on twitter! I love talking to yall and showing you certain parts of the fic in pictures! lots of love
> 
> hope you all have a wonderful holiday!


	14. Chapter 14

“Louis, if you don’t sit down right now we’re going to sit upstairs all day. Put your bum on the chair, please,” Harry said, exasperated. The boy hadn’t listened to one thing Harry had said since he had woken up, and he was getting frustrated. 

Gasping, Louis sat down quickly. He didn’t want to have to stay home, he wouldn’t be able to see the dolphins then! “Sorry daddy, sorry sorry sorry!” Louis sang. He sat down on the chair, feeling weird being sat at a table instead of in a highchair. He didn’t really like it, if he was being honest. His highchair made him feel secure, and it gave Lacy a place to sit down and watch him. He kept that to himself, though, he didn’t want to hurt his daddy’s feelings because he knew the man didn’t have a highchair for him. 

They were staying at the Darling Hotel, one that they stayed at every time they went to Sydney. By this point in their career, the boys were quite familiar with the hotels they went to, as they stayed in the same ones every time. The hotels were always the nicest ones that the city offered, and had a professional staff that were used to celebrities. It made it easier to bring Louis downstairs to the hotel restaurant, because they knew that everything that happened there would be confidential. The only people in the restaurant were the boys, their crew, and the waiters, as they shut down the eatery for the boys.

“I’m hungry, daddy, hungry and thirsty.” Louis complained.

“I know, angel, the waiter is coming over right now.” Harry looked up at the waiter who was approaching the table he was sitting at with Louis, Liam, Niall, and Zayn.

“Hello, welcome to Sydney! I’m Eric, can I get you started with something to drink?”

“Water for me, please. Could you put some apple juice in here as well? Thanks,” Harry said, handing over a bottle. He’d give Louis his formula when they got back that night, but wanted the boy to have a big breakfast to prepare him for the long day.

“No problem, sir,” Eric said, grabbing the bottle. The rest of their boys ordered their drinks, and before the man could walk away Louis grabbed his attention.

“Mr. Eric, sir, can I have crayons, please?” Louis asked, flashing the man his best smile.

“Of course, Mr. Tomlinson. Coming right up!” The man said, walking away. Louis giggled at the way that the man called him Mr. Tomlinson, thinking it sounded silly.

He quickly brought back crayons and white paper for the boy, Louis clapping his hands together in excitement. He picked up a gray crayon and began to carefully draw. The other boys conversed, Liam telling them that Sophia surprised him by quitting her job. For many subs, that was a show of being serious about their dom. It showed their dom, and the world, for that matter, that they trusted their dom to take care of them and they were ready to settle down. Sophia would be landing in Sydney that night and joining them for the rest of tour. 

“I’m happy for you, man, that’s awesome. Looks like we’ll be having a wedding soon,” Zayn said, smiling.

“Nick and Harry may be first, who knows,” Liam said, a playful smile on his face.

Before Harry could reply, Louis looked up, “Look! Look what I made.”

He held up a drawing of a dolphin in water and a stick figure on its back. The dolphin was swimming in light blue water, little fish drawn under the water. Like all of Louis’ artwork, it looked like it was drawn by a toddler. Harry wasn’t the only one endeared by it, the other boys giving him high praise.

“That’s gonna be you today, Lou! Can I post a picture of it online?” Niall asked. 

Louis looked to his daddy who simply shrugged at him. It was up to the little whether or not he wanted to have pictures of himself online so soon. Harry wanted him to be comfortable and safe, and if Louis felt okay with someone posting pictures of him then all was well.

“Yeah! But I need to be in it so people can see I made it, not you!” Louis said.

Niall let out a chuckle, “Of course, Lou. I don’t think anyone would believe I'm that good of an artist anyways!”

Louis held the drawing up, smiling from ear to ear. Harry cooed at the way the boy’s eyes crinkled up in happiness.

“Perfect!” Niall said, going onto his Instagram app. He posted the photo with the caption: Our little artist is ready to become a pro dolphin rider !

“All right, here we go. Sorry for the delay, we needed to run out and grab apple juice.” Eric said, placing the drinks down in front of the men. 

Louis began sucking on the bottle after saying thank you.

“Are you ready to order or would you like another minute?” Eric asked.

“We’re ready to go,” Liam said after receiving nods from the others.

Everyone ordered their food, Harry going last. “I’ll take the avocado sandwich and the yogurt parfait, please. And chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs for the little one.”

“No problem, your food will be out shortly!”

“Is your juice good, love?” Harry asked Louis, looking at the boy who was vigorously drinking. He replied with a nod, continuing to drink.

The food was out quickly, a product of the massive amounts of money that the boys’ management paid the hotel to stay there. None of them were complaining.

 Harry cut up Louis pancakes after letting the boy admire the whipped cream smiley face on the top of the food.

“Open up, angel,” Harry cooed, Louis immediately opening his mouth for a bite. He hummed at the chocolatey taste. Like usual, Harry alternated between eating his own food and feeding Louis. Everyone in the room watched on in what they thought was a secret manner, unable to quench their curiosity at what Harry and Louis’ relationship actually consisted of. Every pairing was different, and their crew wasn’t surprised at Harry and Louis’ actions. Harry was one of the kindest, if not the kindest, people they’d ever met, and Louis was one of the sweetest, most loving boys they’d ever known. To see Harry treat Louis like he was the most delicate, wonderful things on earth was not surprising. But regardless of that, it made them happy to watch Louis being treated like he deserved. No one knew anything besides the fact that his mum exposed him and everyone was in agreement that that was terrible. But the silver lining was Harry treating him so well; it overjoyed them.

“Full, daddy,” Louis said through a mouthful of food, rubbing his stomach. Harry nodded, pleased with the amount of food Louis had eaten. 

“All right, pumpkin. Sit tight while we all finish up our food.” 

Louis didn’t even have a chance to be bored, Niall dragging his chair to sit next to the boy.

“Look at all these comments, Lou,” Niall said, scrolling through his Instagram comments.

Knowing that Louis was having a difficult time reading Harry suggested that Niall read some comments out loud.

Agreeing, Niall read, “He’s such a good artist! I would buy that, but I have five cents to my name. I want to swim with Louis! He’s the cutest thing in the entire world. Louis, can I be your dom?”

The boys were all chuckling at the comments; Louis was smiling softly and blushing bright red at the praise of all of their fans. It made him so happy that they liked him and were being nice about his artwork. From the beginning of their time as a band Louis had been worried about the way that fans felt about him. He knew that he was definitely the shyest of the group, the other boys immediately showing the fans how funny and charismatic they were both on stage and in video diaries. To have it affirmed that fans were interested in him and didn’t think he had an awful personality made his heart soar.

“What nice people,” Louis said quietly, cheeks burning a light pink. 

Niall cooed, “And you’re even nicer, Lou. Are you ready to swim with dolphins?”

“Yes yes yes!”

“Let’s head up and get changed then,” Liam said.

“Have fun today, lads. Make sure to send me pictures!” Zayn said sincerely. He had never quite gotten over his aversion to water, so he’d be sitting this one out.

“Daddy will send you and papa lots of pictures!” Louis promised, getting out of his seat to give Zayn a hug. Zayn was affectionate by no means, but he still made sure to return Louis' hug.

“Thanks Lou, I can’t wait to see them.”

“All right boys, lets head upstairs,” Harry said. Louis hooked elbows with his daddy, quickly pulling the man upstairs. He couldn’t believe it was finally time to go swim with dolphins.

Louis jumped on the freshly made bed once they were in their hotel room, waiting for his daddy to get his bathing suit out.

“Do you think the dolphins will like me, daddy?” Louis asked curiously.

 Harry smiled, looking up to see his baby’s leg’s swinging against the side of the bed, feet not quite touching the floor.

“Oh, they’ll love you! You’re sweet as sugar, my angel; they’re not going to want to leave your side. Let’s get you dressed.” Harry stood up with their portable changing pad and Louis’ outfit for the day in hand. He laid the changing pad out on the bed, Louis automatically climbing onto it, plastic crinkling underneath him. The little missed his changing table, wishing that they could bring it on tour with them. 

“Let’s get you out of this wet diaper and all changed,” Harry said. As he was untaping Louis’ diaper his phone started to ring from where it was sat next to Louis’ head. “It’s papa, pick it up and press the green button, babe.”

Louis squealed excitedly, grabbing his daddy’s phone and pressing the green button. He was shocked when his papa’s face filled the screen, never having seen FaceTime before. It would be unbelievable for a majority of people that a member of the biggest band in the world was as sheltered as Louis was, but it was a product of his classification and the way he was raised.

“Papa! It’s me, Louis! I can see your face!”

Chuckling, Nick answered, “I can only see your pretty eyeball, baby. Hold the phone a bit farther from your face!”

Louis moved the phone away from his face, seeing all of it in the tiny square in the corner of the phone. “There I am!” 

“Look at that!” Nick exclaimed.

“Papa, I’m going swimming with dolphins!”

“I know you are, baby. I can’t wait to see pictures! Where’s daddy?”

Louis turned the phone around to face his daddy, giving Nick an eyeful of his private bits instead of Harry. A professional at multi-tasking while changing a diaper, Harry quickly raised the camera and gave Nick a huge smile.

“Hey love, just getting Lou ready to go swimming. Are you getting ready to go to bed?”

“Not quite yet, it’s about 10 here. Just wanted to see what my favorite boys were doing.”

“One sec, babe, I’m gonna put the phone on the bed. Lou, lift your bum up so I can slide your diaper up. There you go, good boy.”

“Why am I wearing a pull up, daddy?” Louis asked, feeling anxious. He’d grown very comfortable with wearing diapers, and didn’t understand why he had a pull up on. 

“It’s not a pull up, angel. It’s a swim diaper, that’s just how they’re made.”

“It slides like a pull up so that it’s easier for daddy to take it on and off, babe,” Nick assured.

“Okay,” Louis said uncertainly.

“Let’s get your bathing suit on, I know you’re going to love it!” Harry said. Nick smiled, excited to hear and see Louis’ reaction to the suit. Harry slide it up around the boy’s waist, picking up the phone and aiming the camera at Louis.

The little looked down to see what was decorating his bathing suit, gasping when he saw Gil from Bubble Guppies swimming. The suit was an ocean blue, Gil smiling on one side, the other exclaiming “Surf’s Gup!”.

“This is the coolest bathing suit ever! Thank you thank you thank you!”

Nick was grinning looking at Louis’ smile, unable to help himself from screenshotting the image. The daddies would never get over Louis’ shows of innocent excitement. The boy was one of the richest people in the world, but regardless of that fact Louis was always grateful and surprised when Harry and Nick got him gifts. It just reaffirmed the fact that they had the most perfect boy in the world.

“Of course, little cub. I wish I could be there to see you swim with the dolphins in your cool suit!” Nick said.

“We’ve gotta head out, babe. I’ll send you lots of pictures. Louis, tell papa goodbye.”

Louis walked over, and held his hands out for the phone. He pressed a kiss to the camera, leaving a line of saliva on the screen. “I love you papa! Just gave you a kiss.” 

“I know you did, love, thank you for that!” Nick said, holding back his laughter at the sight of the spit that was marring Harry’s camera.

 “Love you, babe. Goodnight,” Harry said with one final smile.

After hanging up, Harry walked over to grab the sunscreen that YSL told him was made especially for littles. It had a high SPF and was meant for sensitive skin, and he knew it’d be perfect for long days spent in the sun.

“All right, Loulou, let’s get some sunscreen on. Hold your arms out!”

“I don’t want to wear sunscreen, daddy!” Louis pouted.

“If you don’t wear sunscreen you’re not going, it’s as simple as that. You’re going to be outside in the sun all day, you need to put some on, Lou.”

Groaning, Louis conceded. He held his arms out for what seemed like forever, Harry making sure to cover every part of him from his face to the bottom of his feet with sunscreen. After letting the lotion soak in, Harry dressed Louis in a white v-neck, not wanting him to go shirtless.

“There we go love! Ready to go swim with the dolphins?” Harry pressed a kiss to Louis’ forehead. He grabbed Louis’ diaper bag that he’d filled with towels, a pacifier, a bottle, snacks, swim and regular diapers, and a change of clothes. He was nothing if not prepared.

Opening the hotel room door, Alberto was standing there, hand readying itself to knock.

“Perfect timing! Are you excited, Lou?” Alberto asked with a smile.

“Yes, yes, yes! I can’t wait!” Louis said, skipping out into the hall where Liam, Niall, Phil, Paddy, and Dale were standing.

“We have three cars waiting downstairs, the first is a decoy, the second is for Louis and Harry, and the third for Liam and Niall. They’re pulled into the underground parking garage, so there should be no fans in there. But the problem is that the fans have been following, so if we have the decoy go first then it should be smooth sailing,” Phil explained. 

“I appreciate how much you’ve thought this through, I think we all do,” Liam said, smiling at Phil.

“Just trying to keep you boys safe as best as I can.”

“Dolphins?” Louis asked Harry in his attempt at a quiet voice that echoed loudly in the now quiet hallway.

Everyone chuckled, Phil answering that yes, it was time for the dolphins. They got into the cars without problem, Louis sucking on his pacifier as he was strapped into his car seat. It was about a thirty-minute drive, so Harry wanted to give Louis time to relax before he went out into the sun for a few hours. With the lunch traffic the drive ended up being about an hour, and thankfully Louis slept through all of it. Once they’d arrived Phil pulled their escalade up next to the front gate of Dolphin Island and parked. Harry shook Louis awake gently, the boy coming to quite quickly as he realized where they must be. The daddy took the pacifier from the boy’s mouth, drawing a sad noise from Louis. 

Light entered the dark car as Alberto opened Louis door, quickly unbuckling his harness. “Time to go, little one!” The guard was excited for the boy; he couldn’t wait to see the smile on his face when he swam with the dolphins. Phil had gone ahead to greet the security guard that was stationed in a booth on the inside of the gate. Dolphin Island was a high-class research facility that celebrities headed to when they wanted to swim with dolphins in Sydney. The facility made exceptions for those with the wealth to pay to swim with dolphins, knowing that they’d be on their best behavior. The public was unpredictable, and they didn’t want any harm to come to the dolphins. Harry was normally quite against animals being held in captivity, but they were treated very well here and given massive pools to swim in when they weren’t interacting with non-workers.

 The second car pulled up as the gate to the facility was opening, the others quickly hopping out. Louis was holding his daddy’s hand as he promised he would do, but couldn’t stop bouncing around. They headed up a sand covered path to a two story white building, heading inside as Phil held the door open. Standing right inside the doorway was a crew donned in light blue polos and white linen shorts.

“Welcome to Dolphin Island!” A woman with white blonde hair said, smiling dazzlingly.

“Thank you,” Harry said, smiling.

“We’re swimming with dolphins!” Louis exclaimed, smiling at the strangers.

If the little put them off then no one could tell. Harry knew that places that catered to celebrities and the public in general had to have understanding workers, as all classifications were different and you never knew what you’d get.

“Yes you are, little dude! They’re all excited to meet you,” A twenty-something year old man with brown hair answered, smiling down at Louis.

“Sorry, sorry, forgot my sunscreen in the car,” Liam said, walking in as Phil shut the door behind him.

“No worries, are we all here now?” The woman who had spoken before asked. At the sign of their nods she continued. “Well, welcome! I’m Natalie.”

“I’m Carter,” said the man who had answered Louis.

“I’m Britt,” said a girl with caramel colored skin.

“And I’m Rob,” the last man said in a gruff voice.

“We’ll be your crew for the day,” Natalie explained, “We’ll be introducing you to our most important friends shortly. We’re going to go over the rules once we head outside so that everyone knows exactly what’s going on. If you have any questions feel free to ask any of us. Carter and Britt will be in the water with you, and there will always be one of us around. Ready to head out?”

Louis was in awe as they walked out onto the property, looking at the huge pools of water. He gasped as he saw a dolphin pop its head out of the water, a thousand watt smile growing on his face. “Daddy! Daddy! Look!”

“That’s Rosie, she’s my favorite little pal,” Rob said as they walked by.

“How many dolphins do you have at the facility?” Harry asked.

“We have 17 right now, but the number fluctuates. We take in a lot of injured dolphins and rehabilitate them so they can head back out into the wild, but we also have ones that we’ve rescued from zoos and aquariums that we keep for research and safety purposes.”

“Do they like swimmin’ with people?” Niall questioned.

“Oh, they absolutely love it,” Britt cut in. “They are people pleasers, they love nothing more than when people get into the water with them.”

Everyone was astounded by how huge the facility was as they walked, eventually stopping in front of the smallest pool they’d seen. It wasn’t small by any means, but compared to the large bodies of water they passed it was average sized.

“All right! Here we are. There are chairs behind you for you to sit in to watch or place your belongings on. Can I have a raise of hands of who’s swimming?” Natalie asked.

Liam, Louis, Niall, and Harry raised their hands.

“Per our policy, all littles must have someone in the water with them. Have you decided who that’d be yet?”

Harry immediately raised his hand, “That’ll be me!”

“Perfect, all right, let’s get going.”

Britt and Carter hopped in the water after changing into wet suits, Louis gasping as four dolphins swam over to the staff members.

“These are our friends for the day! I’d like to introduce you to Malcolm, Sierra, Candy, and Maxine.”

At the sound of their names the dolphins let out happy noises, drawing delighted gasps from everyone who as there, Louis’ the loudest.

After getting changed and having the rules explained, it was time for them to get in the water.

“Who wants to go first?” Natalie jokingly asked, a smile on her face.

“Me! Me! Me! I’ve been listening very well!” Louis said, looking around at the others to make sure they didn’t want to go first.

“Let’s have it then, Lou!” Niall said, throwing himself into a lounge chair.

“All right, angel, let’s get your floaties on,” Harry said, leaning down to grab the item. Louis had nervously admitted that he had only been swimming a few times and was a bit scared. Harry found him a life jacket that went around his upper chest that had floaties connected. It was modeled after a safety mechanism for true children, but it worked all the same. Harry took his own shirt off as well as Louis’, then strapped the item around Louis’ chest and pulled it up his arms.

“You can hop in the water whenever you’re ready!” Rob said.

Louis had to be the cutest little thing any of them had ever seen. The back of his swim diaper was poking out of his swimsuit, and his smile was out of this world. Niall took on the role of photographer, snapping pictures as the boy held Harry’s hand and headed into the water.

Louis was a bit nervous about the water. He gripped his daddy’s hand tightly, not wanting to let go. Water was a bit scary, he never had the chance to get used to pools growing up as he only went swimming twice before joining One Direction.

Britt and Carter were professionals and quite used to nervous swimmers. They encouraged Louis as he got into the water, singing him high praises. The bodyguards watched with a smile, Dale thinking about how they’d lose their street cred if any of the boys’ fans were to see them right now. 

“All right! Good job, Louis, you’re doing so well. Now I’m going to call Candy over so you can meet her,” Britt said.

Harry was standing behind Louis rubbing his thumb up and down the boy’s shoulder blades.

The dolphin swam over, making little noises as she poked her head out of the water.

"Can I please pet her?” Louis asked, already raising his hand out of the water. After receiving a nod from both staff members, he cautiously put his hand on her head. He marveled at the way her skin felt, never having touched something that felt like it before.

“Would you like to hop on her back and take a ride?” Natalie asked from where she was sat at the edge of the pool.

Louis looked to his daddy to see if the man was okay with it, receiving a smile and nod before nodding at the woman. “Oh, yes! Pretty please!”

Riding on the dolphin’s back was the most fun Louis had ever had. He felt like he was flying, he couldn’t believe that Candy could move so fast while still holding him up! Candy carried him all around the pool, and he loved it. He wanted to buy himself a dolphin for his birthday next month! Distracted by the thoughts of having his very own dolphin, Louis’ grip slipped and he fell off the dolphin. He was in the middle of the big pool at that point, and started to panic, splashing around violently. Britt started quickly swimming to where he was to grab him, Carter telling Harry that she had it under control. Before the woman could even make it to Louis, he saw a dolphins come up on either side of him, nudging his arms and wedging their heads in between Louis’ side and his arm. He was floating on the dolphins, feeling much calmer knowing he wasn’t going to drown. Candy swam up in front of him and pressed kisses all over his face, drawing loud giggles out of the boy. Back in the shallow end of the pool Harry let out a sigh of relief, happy that his boy was smiling again.

“All good, Louis?” Britt asked when she neared the boy.

“Yeah, I was scared, but my friends came to help me!” Louis said, nodding down at the dolphins that were holding him afloat.

Britt smiled. The dolphins were trained to be sympathetic and loving towards young children, just as they’d be to their own calves. She could see why they’d immediately flock to Louis as if he was a little one, as his personality reminded her a lot of a young true child.

“They’re pretty sweet, huh? Would you like to go back to the shallow water so we can take some photos?”

“Can I ride my friends, please?” Louis asked, not quite ready to let go of the dolphins.”

“Of course! Hold onto Maxine, she’s the one under your left arm,” Britt said. She started signaling to the dolphins, the one who was under his right arm let go, moving in front of him directly next to Candy.

“All right, Louis, we’re going to let go of Maxine for just a second and hook on to Malcolm and Candy’s fins. Whenever you’re ready, bud,” she said, paddling in front of the dolphins. The boy let go of Maxine slowly, the dolphin remaining right next to him as he hooked on to the fins. “Perfect! Let me just adjust your hands, and then on my signal they’re going to start moving you back!”

Louis thought that riding one dolphin was the most fun he’s ever had, but two? That was even better! “Daddy look! Daddy look!” The little shouted in excitement.

Harry was taking photos on his phone, having equipped it with a waterproof case. “I can see, angel! You’re doing great.”

Once back in the shallow end, Louis had a special photoshoot with the dolphins. He took pictures on their backs, floating in the water with them, and Harry’s personal favorite, all of the dolphins kissing the little boy’s face as he scrunched his eyes and nose up in laughter.

“Baby, now it’s time for Liam and Niall to swim with the dolphins, okay? They’ve been waiting very patiently for you to finish. Give Britt and Carter big hugs then say goodbye to the dolphins.”

Harry knew that Louis was getting tired by the way he was sniffling and tearing up as he said goodbye to the dolphins. The animals gave him lots of kisses before he got out of the water, Harry having to coerce the boy to get out.

“There are showers in the main building if you’d like to head up there,” Rob said, watching as Harry took Louis’ safety device up and bundled him up in a towel.

“Perfect, thanks, we’ll definitely head up there,” Harry said.

“Daddy, up,” Louis said, nestling into the man’s side.

“Baby, give me a minute, I’m trying to get everything together.”

“How was it, Lou?” Alberto asked, trying to take the boy’s attention off of his daddy so the man could get their stuff together in peace. Louis moved over to where Alberto was sat, climbing on his lap without regard for the fact that Alberto was dry and he was wet.

“The funnest day ever! Did you see all of my friends kissing me? They were so sweet!”

“I know they were, bud, I saw! Look at this picture I took; can I post it on Instagram?” The man showed Louis the picture he took of him when he first rode the dolphin, only the side of his face showing as he rode off. You could clearly see his swim diaper at the top of his bathing suit, but Louis didn’t care anymore. It was a big boy thing to worry about, and his daddies promised him that he didn’t need to be a big boy anymore because they’d take care of him. If they didn’t worry about diapers, then why should he?

“Yeah! I love that picture!” Louis said, smiling and blushing. He was happy that people wanted to post pictures of him on Instagram, it made him feel special. Alberto posted the photo with the caption: my bud with his new friends. The guard gained tons of followers after posting the picture, fans realizing for the first time that he even had an Instagram. It was a peculiar thing, the way that fans didn't care who you were, but if you knew a member of 1D you were revered.

“All right, angel, let’s get ready to go.” Harry said, towel around his waist and diaper bag thrown over his shoulder. Louis stood up, Alberto gently steadying him as he hopped off. The guard stood up right behind him, ready to go to the front of the property.

“Would you like assistance heading up front? One of our managers, Emily, is up there to assist with anything you may need.”

“I think we’re good, thanks though,” Alberto said. The little group headed off, Liam and Niall splashing around in the water. Louis wished that he was still in the water, unsure of how the time had flown by so quickly. The boy had played for almost two hours, but to him it felt like fifteen minutes, tops.

Once arrived back at the main building, they were greeted by an older woman with a kind looking face. “Hello! I’m Emily, how are you all doing today? Did you enjoy swimming with the dolphins?”

“I love them! I got to play with them and get kisses and have rides on their backs! Britt said that they would love to play with me again sometime!”

Smiling at the little, Emily said, “Britt is absolutely right! I’m sure they loved you, dear, I can’t wait to see pictures!”

“Albs, show her the picture! The cool one!” The guard pulled out his phone, chuckling. He opened it to his Instagram which had gained almost 60,000 likes by that point. It was crazy how quick the boys’ fans worked.

“You’re right, that is a very cool picture! Maybe you can be a dolphin trainer one day.”

Louis reacted in the way that any child would to being told they could become an astronaut, the president, a cowboy, or even a dolphin trainer, by smiling hugely and gasping. He was blushing red, happy that the nice woman thought he could do such a cool job.

“If my daddy and papa can come then I will!”

Laughing loudly, Harry said, “Well, we’ve got a small little tour to get through first, baby.”

Everyone laughed at that besides Louis, the boy still stuck on the idea of becoming a dolphin trainer.

“The bathroom is equipped with showers, and for you, sir, there is a comfy couch stationed right outside. There is everything you’d need to shower with including towels, so feel free to head on back!” Emily said with a smile.

Harry quickly showered both himself and Louis, the little complaining the whole time about how he wanted a bath. It was the first time that Louis had ever seen Harry naked while the man was his daddy, but he didn’t feel the slightest bit weird about it. He was a little boy and Harry was his daddy, the man had seen him naked a million times, so why would this be any different? 

Louis was half asleep by the time that he was diapered and dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a new v-neck that Caroline had bought him.

“All right, baby, let’s get you all comfy in the car,” Harry said, heading out. Alberto, Phil, and Dale were all stationed on the couch by the time that they walked out. 

“Ready to head out, boys?” Dale asked, standing up and putting his backpack on his shoulders.

“Yeah, just one sec. Albs, will you carry him out? I want to go get his bottle made before we leave.”

“No problem, c’mere buddy,” Alberto said, gently grabbing the sleepy boy from Harry’s arms. The little rested his head on Alberto’s shoulder, letting out a yawn. The guard walked the boy to the gate, the security guard from up front walking over to them with wide, nervous eyes.

“A few people started showing up, they wouldn’t leave. We can wait and call the police if you’d like to have them cleared out before you go.

Sighing, Phil shook his head. “Thank you, but we’ve got it. There’s another man coming right after us, so just make sure he can get through. We’ll be in the car.”

Dale and Phil walked on either side of Alberto, making sure that no fans would run up to where he was holding Louis. Once outside the gate they saw that there were about 20 fans there, all of them being rather calm. Phil held his index finger up to his mouth indicating that the fans remain quiet for the little.

“If you stay quiet then Harry will take photos with all of you,” Phil promised. He knew that Harry wouldn’t mind and probably really wanted to meet fans anyways. Dale rushed to the other side of the car, turning it on and turning the AC up all the way. Alberto stood holding Louis, gently bouncing the sleeping boy in his arms while he waited for the car to cool down enough to put him in it. The fans cooed and took pictures, overjoyed at their luck of seeing one of their favorite people up close. Once the car was deemed of having a safe temperature, Alberto opened the door and carefully placed Louis down. He shushed the boy as he did up his straps, Louis waking up slightly. Harry was outside by this point and quickly ran around to where Louis was being strapped in, placing the teat of the juice filled bottle in Louis’ mouth. The boy started drinking quickly, Harry rubbing his thumb up and down his cheek.

“Good boy, my sweet angel. Daddy will be right back, he’s going to take some pictures. Drink your baba and go to bed, okay?” Louis nodded lethargically at the words.

Harry took pictures with all of the fans, thanking them for being so respectful around Louis. 

“Does he have a p-dom yet? Will you give him my number?” Asked a very pretty girl who had to be around Harry’s age. 

“I’ll give him your twitter if you’d like to write it down,” Harry said, chuckling with a tight smile. He didn’t want to be rude to the girl, but he was close to snarling at her. Louis was absolutely, positively his, and the fact that fans wanted to be his mommy and daddy made him sick.

He left after a few minutes, the girl’s twitter in hand. When he entered the car Louis was completely asleep, bottle hanging out of his hand. Harry grabbed the pacifier that was in the pocket of his diaper bag and popped it in the boy’s mouth. He grabbed his phone, logging out of his Instagram and Twitter so he could log into Louis’. The boy told him that he wanted to post pictures of himself today, effectively ending the radio silence that began when he started to stay with Harry and Nick. Sure, management had been posting tweets and promo, but it wasn’t anything Louis wanted to post. Harry told him he’d take over his social media, and that made the boy happy. Louis had always gotten yelled at by Jackie in the past for being so awful on the internet, never posting, tweeting, replying, or following people. Social media truly just confused Louis and was overwhelming for him, especially when he was scared that people would be tweeting mean things about him. Harry and Nick were both happy to help, knowing it would make it so that there was less of a chance for Louis to see hate.

Once the pictures of Louis were posted the fans went wild. They were on a Louis overload after viewing the pictures that Alberto, Niall, and Louis had posted along with those that fans took of the boy sleeping in Alberto’s arms. Harry couldn’t help but save pictures of Louis sleeping in the man’s arms, overwhelmed with how adorable he looked. Nick had been texting him about how much he loved all the pictures Harry was sending him, wishing he could be there.

Louis slept for a few hours, allowing Harry the chance to tweet some fans and answer emails. He called Nick while sitting on the balcony, smiling at his love’s voice. Nick could honestly talk about trigonometry for three hours and Harry would listen intently, just so long as he got to hear the man’s voice.

Harry stopped replying to an email at the sound of Louis’ crying, quickly making his way over to the bed to soothe him.

“It’s all right, angel, daddy’s right here,” Harry said, sitting down and rubbing the boy’s back. The second that Harry looked into Louis’ eyes he could tell that the boy had regressed quite a lot while he slept, something that had become quite normal. Sleep relaxed the boy to the point where he felt okay regressing to the infantile state his mind wanted him to.

Harry cooed at the boy, wiping the tears off of his face with his thumb. He lifted the duvet up enough to slip a finger into the side of Louis’ diaper, confirming that the boy had wet in his sleep. 

“Daddy will be right back, then we’ll get you all cleaned up!” Louis simply stared at Harry, eyes curious.

The boy didn’t know how to describe the way he felt when he regressed to a very little mindset; he just wanted love, comfort, and kisses. It was his favorite place to be, knowing that he didn’t have to worry about anything at all. He remembered being a bit panicked when he first began to regress that young, afraid of what would happen. He could barely do anything by himself and it was a terrifying concept until he realized his daddy and papa would help him. So he just let it happen. He knew he could trust them.

Harry hurried back, peeling back the duvet and placing the changing pad down.

“C’mere angel,” Harry said softly, patting the plastic changing mat. Louis moved slowly, crawling over and laying himself on the mat. “Good boy,” Harry praised, Louis letting out a happy sound in reply before putting his fingers in his mouth. The daddy sighed, knowing that the little would throw a tantrum if he tried to take his fingers out and put a pacifier in. Louis loved to suck on things, and his fingers were by and large his favorite object to shove in his mouth.

Harry quickly unsnapped the boy’s onesie, untaping his diaper. He smiled at the little noises that Louis was making, a bit of saliva slowly making its way down the boy’s chin.

“Do I have a happy little boy?” Harry cooed, tickling the boy with his left hand. Louis gurgled happily at the sound of Harry’s voice, always loving how his daddy sounded.

“Dada,” Louis said, voice muffled due to the fingers in his mouth.

“That’s right, pumpkin! Dada’s right here. We’re all clean! There we go.” Harry snapped Louis’ onesie back together, looking at the clock and realizing they had about forty minutes until their dinner reservations downstairs. Harry would skip it, but it’s the last time that they would be getting together to eat out before their show tomorrow. It’d be the first time the boys, or anyone for that matter, saw Louis very regressed, but he knew it had to happen sooner or later.

“G-goo pee,” Louis struggled to say, eyes wide as he looked up at Harry.

Harry grew up having no idea how it was possible that parents understood their kids’ garbled speech, but here he was. “Does someone want to watch the guppies?”

Louis clapped, letting out a happy noise. Harry moved to put the changing supplies away and wash his hands before heading back into the bedroom to turn Louis’ favorite show on. It was one that Harry felt comfortable letting the boy watch regardless of his headspace because it was targeted for very little kids.

“All right, there we go! Showtime… Guppies are ready to roll!” Harry popped a pacifier into the boy’s mouth, piling pillows behind him so that he was able to sit up properly.

Harry got back to answering the never-ending emails that he and Louis had. It was frustrating to be emailed constantly when they were on tour, why the hell couldn’t they just come talk to him in person? He heard a knock at the door, getting up from the table to answer it.

“Hey H, I’m bored out of my mind,” Niall said, walking into the room like it was his own. Louis didn’t even spare the boy a glance, too entranced in his beloved TV show.

“Uh, what’s he watching?” Niall asked, stopping and staring at the boy.

“It’s called Bubble Guppies, it’s his favorite show in the world. Comparable to you and your Derby football thing.”

“Must be good, do ya care if I sit and watch?”

“If you heed my warning of how awful it is, then yes. He’s pretty little right now, so be gentle, please.” Niall gave Harry a smile at that, clapping him on the back before walking over to the bed.

“Hi Loulou, Harry was just telling me about your TV show! Can I sit with ya?”

Louis finally looked over at the boy, eyes curious while his pacifier bobbed between his lips. He hooked one finger in the plastic ring of the soother before taking it out of his mouth. Pointing to the television, Louis said, “My goop-pees.”

Niall couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across his face at the boy’s regressed speech. He took a seat on the bed, sliding over close to where the little was laying.

“Tell me all about your guppies, bud! They seem pretty cool!” Niall exclaimed, looking over to the boy to see a pout on his face. Louis held a finger to his lips and shushed him, a dribble of spit landing on his chin. Niall laughed quietly miming to zip his lips before wiping the bit of saliva off of Louis’ mouth with the edge of his own jumper. He was surprised at his own actions, unsure of what it was about the boy that made him want to act maturely as well as paternally. Yet… here he was, watching a show about kid mermaids.

Louis made sure to point out all of the characters to Niall, the Irish gad appreciating the boy’s effort at saying the names when he was clearly having a hard time speaking. It made him feel all warm inside, truth be told.

@NiallOfficial: Sat here with Lou watching his fav show ever, Bubble Guppies. Nvr seen it, but he loves it!

@NiallOfficial: 2 episodes in… think were gonna have ta add the theme song to our setlist, Lou sings it better than they do!

The fans were going crazy at Niall’s tweets, sending him pictures that they’d photoshopped of the boy’s with the bodies of the characters on the shows. They were nothing if not dedicated. He tweeted a picture of Louis smiling with his thumbs up at a fan who had quickly, and brilliantly, drawn him as a guppy.

“All right, are we ready for dinner, boys?” Harry asked.

Niall cheered, grabbing Louis’ arms and waving them around as if he was moving them himself which drew a big giggle out of the little. 

“I take that as a yes! Let’s get some shorts on,” Harry said, walking over to Louis and pulling shorts on over his onesie. He didn’t want to go through the hassle of changing the boy into a different outfit and knew that their crew wouldn’t care what he was wearing. He was working to try and get himself out of the mindset of thinking that people actually cared what Louis was wearing or doing. He was a little; it was his biology, and that was that.

Alberto met them in the hallway, the man giving the boy who was sat on Harry’s hip a huge smile. Louis returned it shyly, nuzzling his head into his daddy’s neck. He was too cute for words.

Once downstairs in the hotel restaurant, Harry asked the manager for a highchair which she quickly brought out. Harry knew that Louis liked highchairs more than normal chairs at this point and figured it’d be best with Louis’ current state to have him placed in one.

“There we go, angel! All set. We’re going to have a yummy baba for dinner, sound good?”

Louis nodded vigorously. He loved his formula. The idea of drinking formula was scary at first, but it made his tummy feel full and tasted like cinnamon.

When the waitress came over she placed a piece of paper and crayons on Louis’ tray, gaining a big smile from the adorable little. She took the drink orders and was more than happy to take Louis’ bottle that was filled with dry formula from Harry, promising to bring it back when she brought everyone’s meals. Dinner was a quiet affair, Liam and Paddy were off picking Sophia up and Zayn was off doing whatever Zayn does. Louis concentrated on drawing, following his usual routine of not listening to the boring conversations that happened during dinner. 

“Is he ready for tomorrow?” Niall asked honestly. They were sat at a table with Lou, Alberto, Dale, and Gemma who was the organizer of their fan events. She had just come on board last tour and was a sweetheart; Harry thought she was the perfect person for the job, both personable and strict. None of the boys were under the false impression that their fans were always angels, especially when it came to meeting them.

“Yeah, he is. He’s excited; a bit nervous for the meet and greet, but we’ll all be there so I’m not too worried.”

“All of the fans who’re coming paid a good 8,000 pounds to meet you lot, so I don’t think there’s much to worry about,” Gemma said. Harry shook his head in amazement at that, wondering what about him or any of the other lads was worth 8,000 pounds for a 30 second interaction.

The food came shortly after, the waitress, Alex, bringing Harry Louis’ bottle. The boy banged his fists on the plastic tray.

“Dada, babababa,” he sang, pouting at the man. Everyone sat at the table tried to stifle their giggles, Louis’ “mean” expression was too cute.

“Right here, pumpkin,” Harry cooed, handing his baby the bottle.

“Dada,” Louis said, smiling and rubbing his free hand through the man’s hair. As Harry expected, Louis was falling asleep as he finished his bottle. Harry ate quickly, wanting to be able to get the boy upstairs before he got too cranky. A tired baby in a crowded, loud place was a recipe for disaster, and Harry didn’t want to take his chances. He politely turned down Leo’s offer to take the boy upstairs. Harry’d always seen those commercials making jokes about parents who wouldn’t let their kid out of their sight and left mile long lists for their babysitters, but he never thought it’d be him… yet here he was. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Leo, but he just couldn’t trust many people with his baby, especially when he wasn’t with them. He knew he could trust Alberto with the boy’s life, knowing bitterly that the guard had been there for Louis much longer than he himself had.

Harry carefully picked Louis up when he was done eating his food, the boy sleepily sucking the last remnants of his bottle.

“Here we go, it’s bedtime for my little boy!” Harry said while waiting for the elevator, bouncing the half-awake boy on his hip.

“Wet,” Louis murmured, slightly yanking on Harry’s long hair. Louis didn’t know why he was so fascinated by his daddy’s hair, but he absolutely loved it. It was the softest hair he’d ever felt, and it always bounced back into curls! It was so fun to watch. 

Stepping into the elevator, Harry assured the boy he would change him as soon as they were upstairs. 

“Here we go, let’s get this yucky diaper off,” Harry said, yanking the boy’s shorts down and unbuttoning his onesie.

“Papa,” Louis said suddenly, eyes filling with tears. 

“We can call papa as soon as you’re all ready for bed!” Harry promised. Once the boy was dressed in his fuzziest footie pajamas, Harry tucked him into bed and facetimed Nick. He knew the man was at work, so he would have about five minutes at best.

Nick picked up on the second ring. “Give me a min, love.” Harry heard a muffled, “And here is a little mix I made for you lovely people with this week’s top requested songs!”

“Hey love, sorry,” Nick’s smiling face filled the screen.

“No worries, sorry to call you at work. Louis’ just heading to bed and has been pretty little all night. He just wants his papa right now.”

Nick cooed, “Give him here then, I’ll talk to him.”

Harry walked the phone over to where Louis was blinking sleepily, sucking on the fingers of his right hand. He sat on the bed, holding the phone so that he knew Nick could see Louis and vice versa.

“Hi little cub!” Nick exclaimed, smiling at the way his little boy’s tired expression lit up when he saw him. 

“Papa,” Louis said, gurgling around his fingers.

“How was your day, love? Did you like the dolphins?”

Louis took his fingers out of his mouth, casually wiping them on his daddy’s shirt like it was a paper towel. “Candy k-kiss,” Louis said, unable to put his thoughts into words.

Harry translated, “That’s right! His favorite dolphin’s name was Candy and she gave him lots of kisses!”

“I bet they did, it looked like so much fun!” Nick said happily, stomach feeling a bit uneasy as he thought about how much he wanted to be there with his boys. It was hard masking his emotions, but he knew that he and Harry needed to put on a façade of complete happiness for Louis’ sake. 

“I want dolphin,” Louis said, tacking on a, “please” for good measure.

Nick and Harry both laughed, Nick saying, “We’ll see what we can do lovely, but I don’t think they’d like London very much!”

“Where papa?” Louis asked, wondering why the man wasn’t there.

“Back in London, baby. I’ll see you very soon!” Nick said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Of course, only Harry noticed the man’s slightly upset expression, Louis having the comprehensive abilities of a toddler.

“Papa,” Louis said again, yawning and closing his eyes.

“I love you, baby. Sweet dreams,” Nick said, blowing kisses at the camera.

Louis blew a sleepy kiss, not bothering to open his eyes. Harry stuck a pacifier in the boy’s mouth before getting up and walking out to the balcony. They both knew that Louis wouldn’t fall asleep if someone was in the room with him, he was too curious about what they were doing to actually fall asleep. He talked to Nick for a bit before the mix was finishing up, promising that he’d call him tomorrow.

\-----------------

Louis was panicking. A lot. They were leaving the hotel for the stadium in an hour, and he didn’t know if he could do it. He’d always been a very nervous person and performer, but this was levels above anything he’d ever felt before. He’d been relaxed all day, waking up and drinking his bottle and then getting a bubble bath. But Niall had burst into their room while he was getting dressed, dancing around the room and talking about how the 45,000 capacity stadium had been sold out and he couldn’t wait to perform. Harry noticed the way that Louis went ghostly pale, wanting to throw a shoe at Niall so he’d just leave. Thankfully he left a few minutes later, Louis’ breathing getting more and more labored.

“Daddy,” Louis whimpered, clinging to the man whose lap he was in.

“It’s okay, you’re going to be okay. I was on twitter this morning and the fans were trending We Love Louis! They can’t wait to see you; everyone is so excited to see you on stage tonight.”

“Really?” Louis asked, voice muffled from where his face was pressed into Harry’s neck.

“I promise. Tonight is going to be so fun. Daddy, Liam, Niall, and Zayn will all be there right beside you. You get to sing all of your songs, aren’t you excited?” Harry knew how proud Louis was of the songs that he and Liam had written, and if anything were to get him in an excited mindset it would be reminding him of them.

“Yeah, very excited! Just nervous, daddy.”

“Want to know a secret?” Harry continued at Louis’ nodding, “I’m nervous too, baby. I always get nervous! It’s scary to go on stage, but once you’re out there it’s all fun.”

Louis looked up at that, eyes wide. “But daddy, you’re the best singer ever! How can you get nervous?”

Harry smiled, pressing a kiss to Louis’ forehead. “Because everyone gets a bit scared sometime, love. Just know that we’ll be right there with you the whole time.”

“Okay, daddy. Will you stand next to me when we meet people?”

“Of course I will, anything you need.”

“Love you,” Louis said, pressing a kiss to Harry’s cheek, blushing a bit. He didn’t get how he was lucky enough to have such an amazing daddy.

Once inside the Allianz Stadium, the boys headed for soundcheck. There were there about 9 hours before they’d actually go on stage, Helene wanting them to have as much time as necessary to practice. This was their second time performing in the stadium, but it was still hard not to be shocked at how insane it was to think that they’d sold such a large place out. Soundcheck took about two hours, Liam stating that the thought they were good to go. He’d always been the one who was most critical, and for him to say that they sounded fantastic was always a compliment.

Harry felt a tugging on his shirt, looking down to see Louis rubbing his eyes with one hand.

“’m tired, daddy,” Louis said, a perfectly timed yawn exiting his lips.

“We can put you down for a nap in the dressing room, baby, let me find Alberto.”

It took just a few steps into the hallway of the stadium to find the man in question.

“Hey Alberto,” Harry called, the man quickly exiting his conversation and walking over to him.

“What’s up, H? How are you doing, bud?” He asked, rubbing a big hand through Louis’ hair.

“Where is the dressing room we’re going to be using? Tim said we’d have a separate one that’d have a couch in it.”

“It’s a bit farther back, I’ll take you there,” Alberto said, waving the two forward. Harry asked that he and Louis have a private dressing room so that the boy could get dressed without their crew and whoever might be around barging in. And more than that, it would allow for Louis to have a place to nap. Since the tour was so short, they weren’t having tour buses drive them around, making it difficult for the boy to have somewhere to nap.

“Thanks, do you think we could have someone sit outside of it while he naps? I’ve gotta go do some phone interviews with Liam.”

“Of course, I’ll set up a rotation.”

“Thanks, man, I appreciate it. I’ll give you the baby monitor so you can know when he’s waking up. HE should be down for two or so hours.”

Louis whined, pushing himself into Harry’s side. He was wet and tired and hot. He just wanted to lay down for a bit with Lacy.

“Almost there, bud,” Alberto consoled. He opened the door to the room, a big leather couch dominating the middle of the room. There was a dressing mirror with a big comfy chair sitting in front of it, a small kitchenette in the corner. It looked like it had been used as both a kitchen and a dressing room, something that was a standard room for the boys to use to get ready for the show. Louis breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Lacy sitting on the couch, Harry being similarly relieved, but his relief was due to the powder blue diaper bag being on the furniture.

“You can grab that chair and take it out to sit, Alberto. Let me grab the monitor and turn it on,” Harry said, walking over to the couch. He grabbed the monitor, turning it on before handing it to the guard.

“I’ll have my phone, let me know if you need anything,” Alberto said, exiting the room.

“Let’s get you changed and ready for a nice nap,” Harry said, placing the plastic changing mat on the floor.

“How do you always know when I need a change, daddy?” Louis asked, eyes filled with wonder.

“It’s a magic power that some super special daddies have!”

“Wow,” Louis breathed. Harry smiled down at the boy, tickling his now bare belly, shirt rucked up around his chest. The dom was happy to see Louis have a bit of fat forming on his tummy, a sight far different than the skeleton that Louis was when he was on his own. 

“There we are, angel,” Harry said, helping the boy stand up after he quickly washed his hands and threw the diaper out. The boy was only in a shirt and his diaper, Harry knowing that he didn’t like wearing many clothes while he napped.

“Baba, please,” Louis said, laying down on the couch and wrapping the blanket his daddy brought around himself. Harry brought a bottle of water over to him, the boy quickly beginning to suck on it. Like clockwork, he was out in a few minutes, Harry making sure the baby monitor was on before pressing a kiss to the boy’s head and walking out.

Alberto was sat outside scrolling through his phone. He saluted the p-dom as he walked down the hall, Harry giving him a smile.

Louis woke up around two hours later, crying a bit. He was disoriented, waking up in random room alone. Alberto texted Harry before walking into the room, receiving a quick reply that the man was walking back now.

“Hey bud, how was your nap?” Alberto asked, walking into the room.

“Want daddy,” Louis said, hair messy and a pout present on his lips.

“He’ll be back in just a minute, buddy. Guess what we’re having for dessert?” Alberto questioned, knowing that dessert was the best way to get Louis’ mind off of his daddy.

“What? Chocolate cake?” Louis asked, hopeful.

“That’s right! Sarah made her chocolate cake… with chocolate ice cream!”

Louis let out a happy squeal, overjoyed to hear that their magical chef was starting out the tour with his favorite dessert. Harry walked into the room, the first thing he saw being his baby’s happy face. 

“What’s so exciting, angel?” The man asked, walking over to sit next to Louis.

“Sarah made chocolate cake! And ice cream!”

“Your favorite! We’ll have dinner after we meet some fans. Lou’s waiting for us right now, so we’re going to head down and get ready. Say thank you to Alberto!”

Louis gave the man a wave as he exited the room.

“Let’s get you in a new diaper then we’ll head down to get dressed,” Harry said.

Lou and Caroline were waiting for them in their dressing room, big smiles on their faces as Harry carried Louis in.

“All right, put the boy down so I can fix up his hair,” Lou said, grabbing a comb. Louis had always liked getting done up by Lou, it made him feel loved and fawned over. Harry walked over to where Caroline was, looking at the few outfit choices she had put out for Louis. Knowing it was going to be fairly warm out, he picked out one of the new pairs of black jeans she had gotten him and a scoop neck maroon shirt. Louis got dressed quickly, Harry bending down to slip his feet into his vans. Caroline made sure that his shirt was pulled over his diaper, both Lou and Caroline deeming him good to go.

He was waiting patiently for Harry to finish up when a woman he’d never seen before walked into the room. His first reaction was to look up to his daddy, and he relaxed when he saw the man waving with a smile on his face. She looked down at him, quickly sitting down on the ground next to him.

She had long brown hair and very pretty green eyes. “Hi Louis, I’m Hannah! It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hi,” Louis said shyly, cheeks a light pink. It was always hard for him to meet new people, he never quite knew how to act. He’d always wished he was more like Harry, the man could charm the grouchiest person on earth in a minute.

“I just wanted to introduce myself; I work with Jackie’s company, and I’m going to be here on tour with you guys. I’m just here in case you all need anything at all regarding social media, meet and greets, or fan situations. I’ll be working a lot with Gemma who runs your fan events.”

Louis nodded his head, not replying to the woman. He didn’t really have anything to say, he knew his daddy would take care of anything that needed to be taken care of.

“We have fans ready to come in for the meet and greet in about an hour and a half, so you guys can go catch dinner before that. We have 25 people today, so it shouldn’t take that long. Any questions?”

“Will Alberto be there in case anyone isn’t nice?” Louis asked, eyes wide. He couldn’t stop fretting over the way that people would treat him. Regardless of how kind everyone he knew, besides Jesy, had been to him, he still couldn’t help but think of his mom. He knew that other people like her existed, and he hoped none of them would be meeting him. 

“Alberto definitely will be there, dear. We have all 12 members of your security team ready to be in the room. Alberto can be stationed closest to you, if that makes you feel comfortable.” Louis nodded vigorously at her words. “Perfect, I’ll go talk to Phil about that right now.”

Louis felt the uneasiness in his tummy start to disappear, feeling a lot better now that he knew Alberto would be near him in case anything went wrong.

The little was overjoyed that Harry let him sit on his lap at dinner, loving when he could be that close to his daddy or papa. He grumbled a bit when Harry insisted in putting a bib on, but was silenced when he saw it was the one that made him look like he had the body of a Guppy. 

Zayn and Niall couldn’t stop laughing at the mess of chocolate that decorated Louis face when he was done with dessert, not listening to Harry’s request to get a wet wipe.

“Oi, what’s so funny?” Liam said from behind them.

Louis gasped when he turned around, seeing Sophia with Liam. “Sophia!” The boy said, springing out of Harry’s lap and running over to the girl.

“Hi lovie! How are you?” She asked, hugging him even though he had chocolate all over his face. Harry grimaced as his face made contact with her shoulder.

“I’m good! Just had chocolate cake! It was so yummy.”

“I couldn’t even tell!” She said, drawing laughter out of everyone who heard. Harry chose that moment to return with a wet wipe, Louis scrunching his face up in annoyance as his daddy cleaned it.

“Almost done, don’t look so grumpy!” Harry teased, wiping all traces of chocolate off of Louis’ face.

“Boys, time to go!” Phil said loudly, all of the boys standing up to walk over to him. Louis felt his stomach clench up, nervous to talk to the fans that were in the next room.

Once in the empty hallway, Liam pulled the boys into a huddle.

“Lou, I just want to let you know that we’re all proud of you. We love you so much, and we’re here for you. If you need anything at all, just let us know. Okay?”

“Agreed,” Zayn said with a smile.

“What he said,” Niall said, pressing a kiss to Louis’ hair.

“Love you guys,” Louis said, a smile on his face.

They headed into the room where they were going to do the meet and greet, walking in front of the background that they used for it.

“All right, so we’ve got 25 people ready to meet you guys. Louis’ going to be on the far left, then Niall, then Harry, Liam, and Zayn. Sound good?” He continued at the boys’ nods. “Alberto will be standing directly off camera right next to Louis. Dale and Preston will be at the door, I’ll be by Cal where he’s taking pictures. Paddy will be at the gift table making sure everyone leaves them there. Everyone else will be around the room, just shout out if you need anything.”

The boys gave him a thumbs up, Harry planting a kiss on Louis forehead. The boy gave his daddy one final squeeze before being pulled into a conversation with Niall about some mini golf thing he wanted to do in New Jersey when they were there in a few weeks.

“Oh my gosh,” a distinctly female voice said, the boys all looking up to see the first few fans enter the room. They all took pictures one at a time, the others lining up against the wall.

A teenaged girl walked up to them, immediately walking up to Liam and hugging him tightly. She clearly had Liam as her favorite. It had gotten easy to see when fans had a favorite member as they devoted all of their time to that person. It made it easier for Louis to breathe. Cal told the girl to turn around, the boys all smiling for a picture. She went down the line hugging the rest of them quickly before she scampered off. That went well. One down, 24 to go.

The other girls were much the same, asking Louis how he was and telling him they loved him. All of them were quite well behaved, no crying or screaming, much to Louis’ relief.

“Hey, this one’s good to bring what she has with her up,” Paddy said from the present table. It had become difficult to juggle everything the fans gave them, so a presents table was needed. They usually went through what fans gifted them, taking shirts and washing them before wearing them.

The girl looked to be about 20, long brown hair flying behind her as she walked right up to Louis, hands behind her back.

“Hi Louis, I have something for you. I saw Niall’s tweet last night and just had to get this for you.” She handed Louis a football that was decorated with the Bubble Guppies in the hexagons of the ball. The boy gasped, taking it from her hands. It was the coolest thing he’d ever seen!

He handed the ball to Niall before pulling the girl into a tight hug.

“Thank you so much! That was very nice of you,” Louis said, smiling brightly at her. The girl flushed a bright red, not expecting such a reaction from the boy. His bandmates smiled at the interaction, always astonished by how authentic and polite Louis was.

“O-of course! It was nothing, I’m so happy you like it.”

“I love it so much! I can’t wait to play with it,” Louis said, already thinking about playing footie with Liam and Niall 

“Make sure you post some pictures of it! Could you maybe move to the middle so I can stand with you for the picture? If the others are okay with it?” 

“Of course, I don’t blame ya, I’d want to stand next to Louis too!” Niall said, making everyone laugh. Louis smiled his best smile in the girl’s picture, not knowing until later when the girl posted her picture that Niall and Harry were pretending to be playing football with his new ball.

“Thank you again!” Louis said as she walked away, giving her a final wave. Her friend stopped recording at that point, putting her phone away before she walked up.

“Hi guys!” The girl said, sounding very comfortable talking to them.

“Hiya love, how are you?” Zayn asked, returning the girl’s hug.

“I’m good, just excited to be here.” When she got to Louis she gave him a tight hug.

“I just wanted to say that I think you’re really brave, and I was asked by about a million fans on twitter to say that we all love you when I meet you. So… we all love you, and I hope you know.” She said, looking into Louis’ eyes.

Louis was rendered speechless, his mind trying to process the girl’s overly kind remarks.

Sensing that Louis was a bit overwhelmed, Harry replied. “We absolutely agree. We love our Louis too.” 

“Thanks guys,” Louis said quietly, smiling.

“No problem, Louis, I’m just happy I had the chance to tell you that in person.” The girl said, looking a bit starstruck. Cal called for the girl to turn around for the picture. She hugged Louis in it, the boy turning his head to give me the camera a big smile.

“Thanks for coming, I hope you enjoy the show,” Louis said, waving goodbye to the girl shyly.

The rest of the fans were kind, and the meet and greet went off without a hitch, and before they knew it the last fan had left the room.

Once back in their dressing room, Louis let out a sigh of relief. It was hard not treating Harry like his daddy, way harder than he thought it would be. Every time a fan would talk to him he wanted to look at his daddy and see what his reaction was, but he knew he couldn’t.

Harry walked over to the couch, Louis quickly hopping onto his lap. The little pressed kisses to his daddy’s neck and face, overjoyed to finally be close to the man.

“Thank you for all the love, sweetheart,” Harry cooed, patting the boy’s diapered bum. 

“Missed you, daddy. I don’t like that people don’t know that I have a daddy and papa,” Louis said quietly.

Harry spoke carefully, “If you want people to know then we can figure out a way to tell them. It’s all up to you, baby. We can talk to papa about it if you want to tell people. You have all the time in the world.”

“Okay, I don’t know yet. I just… want people to know, I think.”

Harry hummed in reply, holding Louis close to him in silence. He wanted his boy to be relaxed before they went on stage, and he knew this was the perfect way. They sat there, Harry knowing that they had only a few minutes left once McBusted stopped playing.

A knock on the door shook Harry and Louis from their reverie, effectively popping the bubble of silence that they’d been in. Alberto walked in with Dale, the men ready to take them up for show time.

“Ready to go lads? Stay close, there’s a lot of people out in the hallways,” Dale said.

“Do you need a change before we go, love?” Harry asked, nodding as Louis blushed a bit.

“We’ll be outside,” Alberto said, shutting the door behind them.

Once Louis was changed and given one final tight hug to his daddy, the two went outside to meet their bodyguards.

Louis stayed close behind Alberto in the crowded halls, random venue workers wandering around. They headed back behind the stage where their lift was, Niall and Liam already standing on it. Someone put Louis’ in-ears in before moving to put Harry’s in, Zayn running in from the back hallway, late as always.

“I’ll be on your left with Paddy the whole time, Preston and Dale will be on your right. Leo will be backstage, just let us know if you need anything, okay?” Alberto said.

“I will, thank you,” Louis said, hugging the man tightly.

“Love you bud, I’m so proud of you.” Alberto said, patting the boy’s back lightly. Preston took the liberty of snapping a picture of the moment, because why wouldn’t he?

“Five minutes,” their stage manager, Ben, said. The security quickly walked to the little opening on the stage that lead to the stadium’s floor, taking their positions. At the sight of the security, the fans on the floor started up a chant of “One Direction”, knowing that the security being out meant that the boys would be there soon.

Louis felt amped up when the intro video started, the fans’ screams igniting a fire inside of him. 

Liam pulled the boys into their usual huddle.

“Let’s fuckin’ do this!” Niall screamed, Harry hitting his side at the use of the expletive. “I mean… let’s go! Sorry dad!”

The boys all laughed, Louis smiling softly. 

The intro video was soon over, the platform lifting them onto the stage, the beginning music of Cloud starting to play. Soon enough the boys were on stage, the sight of thousands and thousands of screaming fans in Louis’ line of vision. Gosh, he didn’t think he could ever get used to this.

Clouds was over just like that, the fans screams never ending.

“Good evening, Sydney!” Liam yelled, the fans yelling even louder than before.

“How are we doing tonight, gorgeous people?” Niall asked.

Steal my girl began to play, Louis feeling nervous knowing that at the end of the song they’d begin to move down the catwalk. Being on the main stage was a bit comforting, there were only so many fans that were close to him. But the catwalk, that was a different story.

Niall came up to him and threw his arm around his shoulder, giving him a big smile before they headed down the catwalk. Louis realized that he probably looked like a deer in headlights, and needed to get it together. He dared to look at the fans as he walked by them, seeing smiling faces just as usual.

Shouts of his name made his stomach fill with warmth, he couldn’t help but smile and wave back, feeling at ease. Once they were on the bstage, Harry walked over to him, leaning to whisper in his ear.

The fans screamed louder than ever, not having seen them act in such a way since the Xfactor.

“There’s a sign straight in front of your mic that reads ‘Harry equals Louis’ real daddy.” Harry whisper-shouted, wanting to make sure the boy knew what it said, regardless of his difficult time with reading these days. Louis let out a peal of giggles, the audience snapping picture after picture.

Louis walked over to his mic as the beginning of Little Black Dress began to play, taking a second before looking for the sign. He recognized his name on it, the girl being sat in the front row of the bstage. He looked at her, giving her a huge smile and wave. What can he say, he was feeling a bit daring.

The show was going great, the fans were loud, the boys were on fire. It was perfect. They were on the main stage about to sing 18, one of Louis’ favorite songs when every fan in the stadium held a piece of paper up. Zayn nudged his arm, pointing to the crowd. Louis squinted, trying to get a good look at what they said. He finally was able to read them when the lights went bright for the chorus, immediately starting to cry.

Every fan in the audience was holding up a sign that read, “Louis you're our hero! We’ll love you forever.”

The little turned away from his microphone, facing the band at the back of the stage. He couldn’t help but cry, overwhelmed with the show of love that he was being showed. It was one thing to have a fan or two come up to him and tell him they supposed him, but for the entire stadium to do it? That was the kindest thing that the fans had ever done for him. He tried to slow his breathing, knowing that his solo was coming up after the second chorus. Letting the fans down was the last thing he wanted to do. He felt an arm around his shoulder, looking up to see Harry standing next to him, giving him a small smile. Zayn threw his arm around his other side, also grinning wildly. Louis ducked his head down, getting himself together before the second chorus. He looked up with a smile, singing the chorus. The fans were still holding their signs up. Louis took a deep breath before starting to sing his part. Screams were loud, fans jumping up with their signs in hand. The little couldn’t help but tear up, happy as could be.

Once the song finished, the fans started chanting Louis’ name. Coincidentally, it was time for his speech. “Hi guys,” Louis said into the mic, the crowd going wild. He looked down, blushing. “I hope you’re having a good time tonight. I just want to say thank you for all you’ve done for us over the past five years, and thank you for being so kind to me over the past couple of months. It’s safe to say you’re the best fans in the world, we love you so much!”

The boys were rushed out of the stadium the second that the show ended, Alberto grabbing Louis’ hand as he headed outside in a rush of people. Louis breathed a sigh of relief when he was strapped in his car seat, ecstatic to see Harry was already seated in the vehicle. 

“Daddy!” Louis exclaimed, reaching grabby hands out to the man.

“Hi angel, I’m so proud of you! You did so well tonight,” Harry praised, scooting over to the middle seat so he could press a kiss to Louis’ lips. 

“I had so much fun, I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow!” Louis had an adrenaline rush. He couldn’t believe that he was ever scared to go on stage; he felt guilty for not having faith in their fans. He now knew that he had nothing to be worried about.

The partition rolled down, Alberto sneaking his head through. “We’ll be at the airport in fifteen, then it’s about an hour flight.”

“Sounds good,” Harry said with a smile. 

Once the partition was shut, Harry looked at Louis to see the boy struggling with the button on his jeans.

“What are you doing, Louis?” Harry asked.

“Don’t want these on anymore, they’re sweaty,” Louis said, letting out a huff when he couldn’t get his jeans off.

“You’ve to keep them on until we board the plane, I don’t have anything else for you to wear. You can change into comfy clothes soon, just be patient please baby.”

Louis groaned, kicking his feet against the seat in front of him that Alberto was in.

“Louis!” Harry scolded.

“Sorry, daddy,” Louis said, looking down and letting out a sad sniffle.

“It’s okay, angel. I bet you’re very tired, I know it’s past your bedtime. We’ll be on the plane very soon, just hang on a bit.”

Louis never thought that he’d be happy to be on board a plane, but here he was. He let out a sigh of relief when he was finally in the big bathroom on the front of the plane, his daddy placing him on the changing table and taking his jeans off. Once he was changed into an overnight diaper and footie pajamas, Louis was ready to go back to his seat and sleep until they’d arrived in Melbourne.

Louis was out like a light in minutes, Harry sitting beside him and sending out a text to Nick with a picture of the sleeping boy and an assurance that the show went well. Like he usually did, he went on twitter to send out a thank you tweet. He scrolled through his timeline, clicking on a tweet that had a video of Louis. It was from the meet and greet, it was taken from a side angle, Harry realizing that it was the girl in line while her friend gifted Louis the football. The boy was noticeably surprised and bashful in the video, and the fans were eating it up. Harry watched the video a good five times, loving the way that Louis reacted so genuinely. He couldn’t help but hope that every night would be as good as this one was.

@Harry_Styles: Sydney, thank you for tonight. You were wonderful. We love you.

He looked at his tweet, dissatisfied with the message. Then he tweeted again.

@Harry_Styles: We often praise you for being the best fans in the world, but now I’m here to say… you are some of the best people on earth. Such lovely people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoyed! I'm changing the setlist/stage positions/guard positions around. 
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic
> 
> COMMENT!!!! your comments mean the absolute world to me. I love to know what you think! 
> 
> happy holidays to all of you, once again! :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!!: this chapter includes panic attacks, flashbacks to traumatic events, and mentions of past abuse. if you don't want to read it, message me on twitter and I will go over everything that happened for you, or send you the chapter without that section in it.

Throughout Harry’s short run as a father thus far, he realized that routine was the most important part of having a baby. Wake up. Breakfast. Playtime. Nap. Lunch. Playtime. Another nap. TV. Dinner. Playtime. Bottle. Bed. Repeat. Babies needed a schedule; their bodies craved it. Yet here they were, three days into tour in their second city, and Louis’ schedule had gone to shit. And Harry could tell that it was impacting his boy, the way that they landed in Melbourne and he had a full blown meltdown on the plane when Harry tried to wake him up. The poor boy just wanted to sleep, but every time he went to bed he was being woken up. It was absolutely not going well. Harry wasn’t sure what he expected, he knew that tour was grueling for him, a 20 year old, but for Louis? He couldn’t even imagine.

“Baby, we’ve got to get off the plane. I know you’re tired, I know. You can go back to bed in just a few minutes. We just have to take a few pictures with fans, then we’re done.”

“I don’t want to,” Louis cried, pounding his fists into the plastic airplane tray. “I want to sleep, I’m so tired, daddy.”

Harry sighed, “I know, angel, the faster we get off the plane the faster you’ll be in bed.”

The other boys and security were sitting there awkwardly, wondering whether or not they should interject.

“I’m so tired, daddy,” Louis repeated for what had to be the millionth time.

Annoyed with how long it was taking, Zayn interjected. “We’re all tired too, Lou. The quicker we go the quicker we’ll be at the hotel.”

“Okay,” Louis said, sniffling. He didn’t want to make Zayn upset, and he knew if he got off the plane the dom wouldn’t be mad at him.

“This’ll be really quick, promise. Jackie just wants you guys to stop for a few photos, that’s it.” Phil said, standing up. It didn't matter what country they were in, how long they were there, or how crazy the fans were; they'd always bitch. They bitched that the boys didn't host a meet and greet, that they didn't come out and explore their country, that they didn't take pictures with fans, that they only took pictures with a certain number of fans. They'd never be happy, but Jackie figured this was a way to make them at least a **little** happy.

Louis glued himself to Alberto’s side, the man grabbing his diaper bag and Lacy and handing them to Leo. 

Once off the plane, Louis’ head pounded with the screams of fans. Alberto and Leo quickly guided him over to the end of the gate that was holding them back, knowing that there would be less people pushing over there.

They were all screaming his name, and Louis put on his best smile. He walked up to a girl who looked to be about 15 with a smile.

“Hi there,” Louis said, leaning in for a picture. His eyes burned as the flash went off close to his face, the girl taking a selfie.

“Thanks so much, Louis!” She gushed, Louis giving her a wave. He took a picture with a few more fans before deciding the next would be his last.

He moved to a very tall girl, one who looked to have a good half foot, or more, on him. 

“How are you?” Louis asked, leaning against the gate thinking she’d want a picture. 

“I’m Josephine, your future mommy,” The girl said, holding her hand out. Louis was a bit confused, not really sure how to react. He was feeling a bit scared and unsure of himself.

“Um-hi,” Louis said a second later, holding his hand out only to be pulled into a tight hug, stomach digging into the harsh metal barrier. His hands were hanging by his side, unsure of what he was supposed to do with them. He tried to look for Harry, but couldn't see the boy down the row of fans. He tried his best not to panic, but where was his daddy when he needed him?

“That’s no way to talk to me, Louis. If you were mine I’d spank you silly for that disrespect,” Josephine said, voice stern.

Louis was finding it hard to breathe, scared of how the girl was speaking to him and reminded of his own mum. Alberto watched on, not thinking anything of the hug. He knew that fans loved hugging the boys, and it was normal. As much as he knew Louis didn’t want to hug the fans, he knew there was nothing he could do about it.

“Pl-please let me go, please,” Louis stuttered, feeling his eyes burn with tears. He struggled to turn around to signal Alberto to come help him, arms trapped in the girl's strong embrace.

“Don’t be rude to me, little boy. Looks like I have a lot to teach you.” 

A fan next to the tall girl signaled to Alberto, the man quickly coming over, hearing Louis pleading for the girl to let him go.

“Get off of him, please,” Alberto said in a low tone.

“That’s no way to speak to his dom, I don’t care if you’re his security. He’s mine,” The girl said, a crazed look in her eyes. Sensing tension, Leo and Phil quickly walked over.

“Let him go, right now,” Alberto growled, eyes trained on the way the girl had locked a death grip on the little’s back, pushing him roughly into the metal gate. They were trained not to touch fans unless it was necessary, as lawsuits could pop up, but… this was his boy.

“He’s not yours, he’s- hey! Get off of him,” The girl shouted as Alberto peeled her hands off of Louis, picking the boy who was now noticeably crying and shaking.

“It’s okay, buddy, I’ve got you.” Alberto soothed, quickly walking the boy to the car. Louis was sobbing heavily, breathing wet tears onto Alberto’s neck. The man tried to strap Louis in once they had gotten to the car, but he wouldn’t let go of his grip on Alberto. Sighing, the guard walked around the car and slid into the backseat, arranging Louis on his lap.

After Alberto carried Louis off, Leo quickly walked over to Dale and let him know what had occurred, Harry’s guard quickly grabbing him and telling him it was time to go. Harry felt his heart sink when he got into the car and saw Louis bawling on Alberto’s lap. With a grace he didn’t know he possessed, Alberto slide out of the car with Louis on his lap, Harry quickly grabbing him. 

“Dada, my dada,” Louis garbled, pressing wet kisses onto his daddy’s cheek.

“That’s right, angel, I’m right here,” Harry cooed, shifting Louis so he was cuddled up on his lap. The boy was hyperventilating and shaking even though it was almost 80 degrees, Harry asking for Alberto’s jacket from where he was sitting in the front seat. The man tossed it over the seat quickly, nodding to Dale so that the man would begin to drive. Harry fixed the large jacket around Louis like a blanket, making sure the boy was warm. He whispered to him, telling him that everything would be okay. The daddy felt like he was going to throw up seeing Louis in such turmoil, and he didn’t even know what had happened yet. 

Harry couldn’t even feel a bit grossed out when he saw that Louis was sucking on his shirt, knowing that sucking soothed the boy. He could buy another 1,000 pound shirt, but he couldn’t jeopardize his boy’s state of mind. Once they arrived in the hotel parking garage, Dale opened his door.

“The elevators are right there, Allen is waiting outside of them with our keys.” Harry nodded, silently thanking Alberto as the man grabbed Louis’ diaper bag and Lacy.

Everyone made sure to remain silent in the elevator, Louis half asleep, snuggling into Alberto’s big jacket in Harry’s arm.

“Here we are, baby. Let’s get you ready for bed,” Harry said softly, placing the little down onto the big bed.

“Baba,” Louis said, yawning.

“Of course,” Harry said. He called down to room service, letting them know he needed warm milk immediately. Realizing who was calling, the woman said it’d be up in less than five minutes. Harry worked to change Louis out of his clothes into an overnight diaper and onesie, getting the boy placed on the bed just as the there was a knock on the door. He slipped the man money, thanking him before grabbing the milk and shutting the door.

“Dada,” Louis whimpered, wondering why the man was no longer in bed with him. He just wanted his daddy to hold him close after what had happened outside. He didn’t understand why the girl was treating him like that; she wasn’t his mommy, so why was she acting like it? It made no sense. When he first joined the band he thought that it would be great having fans, that the word fan meant that people would support them and cherish them, but he was wrong, in a way. Fans felt that they had stock in the boys, that they owed the people who paid for their tickets and merchandise something. A small number of them were always vicious, demanding the boys' attention as if it was a right. That kind of domineering behavior always scared Louis, and this was without a doubt the worst interaction he'd ever had. He never wanted to go through it again.

“Right here, pumpkin,” Harry said, sitting on the bed. Louis immediately curled up on his lap, positioning himself in his arms so that his daddy would place the bottle in his mouth. The little let out a pleased hum at the taste of warm milk and the way that his daddy was rubbing his tummy. It didn’t feel as good as when papa did it, but it’d have to do. Harry quietly hummed a tune, taking the bottle out of Louis’ mouth as his eyes started blinking slower and slower. He gently lifted the boy and put him under the covers, placing Lacy under his arm.

“I love you, angel,” Harry said, stroking Louis’ hair. He stayed with the boy for a while, until he was sure he was fast asleep before heading out to the room next to theirs that he knew was Alberto’s. The man’s door was already open, Dale and Phil sitting on the bed with solemn looks on their face. Alberto was pacing, fists clenched.

“What the hell happened?” Harry asked, taking a seat on the bed.

“Everything was going fine, fans were being nice, Louis was taking selfies. A girl hugged him, held onto him for a good minute. He turned his head, but I thought he was talkin’ to the girl next to him. Then the girl beside him started waving me over, pointing to Louis. The girl was sayin’ that she’s his dom, and she wasn’t gonna let go. We pulled her off of him, and she was still shouting, being crazy. I picked him up and took him to the car, he was crying pretty hard. Poor kid.”

Harry breathed deeply, willing himself not to freak out. “What kind of parents raise a child to think that they can just lay claim to subs? Is this the 11th century?” 

“I know, man. I know,” Alberto said. They sat in silence for a second before they heard a stomping down the hall. Niall, Liam, and Zayn burst into the room, concerned expressions on their faces. 

“What the fuck happened?” Niall asked, fuming.

“Crazy dom fan got a bit out of control,” Harry said, lips pulled into a thin line. 

“Did you see the video? I would’ve throttled the girl,” Liam said.

Harry shook his phone, taking the proffered phone from Zayn’s hand hesitantly. His outrage grew as he watched the video, the guards behind him making affronted noises. The girl filming was right next to Louis, getting his scared expression and soft pleas on camera.

“How does anyone think that’s okay?” Harry asked softly, not understanding what would make a human treat someone else like that. 

“I don’t know, mate, but I’m sure as hell sending out a tweet,” Niall said, already typing. That drew a chuckle out of everyone, knowing that Niall loved standing up for Louis, even if it was against their fans.

_@NiallOfficial: If anyone ever touches our little Lou like that again then that’s our last time comin’ out. Show some respect !_

_@NiallOfficial: To all of ya who are respectful, thank you ! we love you._

“There we go. Fans are already trending #WeRespectLouis. Seems they found that girl’s twitter and are ripping her to shreds. I’m usually against cyber bullying and all that, but…” Niall said, shrugging.

“Girl had what’s coming to her,” Zayn said. A situation was serious when Zayn wished ill will on another, the boy being the pacifist of the group.

Harry’s phone started vibrating in his pocket, the boy knowing it was Nick before he even looked at the caller ID. “I’m guessing that’s Nick, I’m gonna go let him know what happened. Goodnight guys.” 

Harry answered the phone as he received a chorus of goodbyes from the men, quietly entering his room and heading out to the balcony. Louis was sleeping peacefully, Lacy squeezed tightly to his body.

“Hey babe,” Harry said, taking a seat in a lounge chair. The view from the Langham Hotel was beautiful, looking over the buildings that comprised the city of Melbourne.

“Is he okay? What the hell happened?” Nick asked, voice shaking. 

“He’s really upset and scared, but he’s sleeping. Some fan was yelling at him saying she’s his dom and wouldn’t let go, I’m sure you saw the video,” Harry said, sighing.

“God, my poor baby. I can’t even imagine how scared he was. I miss you both so much,” Nick admitted, sniffling a bit. The man couldn’t help the tears that were falling. He felt like he was failing his boyfriend and his baby by not being there with him. Every fiber of his being just wanted to quit his job and go out to see them, but he knew that wasn’t a smart idea. He’d see them soon. 

“We miss you too, love. We’ll see you in just over two weeks,” Harry consoled. He knew how much Nick missed them. It was hard being apart from him normally, and now that they had Louis it seemed to be even more difficult. They would make it through.

The Melbourne show went off without a hitch, the fans who were meeting them being watched intensely. Louis couldn’t stop thinking about how he wanted to tell the world who his daddies were, every second that he couldn’t stand next to Harry or press kisses on his face made his stomach hurt. But on the other hand, he was scared. Scared that people would think papa and daddy deserved better than him, that another little was better suited for them. Scared that maybe papa and daddy would look at a tweet and believe what someone said, that they could do better than him and leave him. He couldn’t live through that.

Louis was exhausted by the time they had gotten to Perth, it was almost two in the morning there, a three hour time change from what it’d been in Melbourne. The only way into the hotel was through the front, so his daddy couldn’t even carry him inside. He didn’t want to wake up, he wanted to just be able to sleep in peace. But that couldn’t happen, of course. Screaming fans woke him up as Alberto was unbuckling his car seat, Louis letting out an unhappy noise.

“It’s okay, buddy. We’re almost there,” Alberto said, grabbing Lacy and handing her to Louis. He picked the boy up, placing him on his hip before heading through the screaming crowd of gated fans. The guard didn’t understand why people felt the need to wait in the middle of the night when there was absolutely no chance of the boys stopping. The fans didn’t get a glance from Louis, the boy shoving his head into Alberto’s neck.

Alberto waited in Harry and Louis’ room for the dom to come in. Harry had stopped at the airport for fans, wanting to take the fact that he couldn’t arrive in the same car with Louis off of his mind. It seemed pretty pointless at this point, the fact that he couldn’t even ride with his little boy. But he’d respect Louis’ wishes, he would. He just hoped the boy would soon have a change of heart.

Harry walked in to a sleeping Louis, pacifier in his mouth and Lacy tucked under his shoulder.

“Thanks man,” Harry whispered gratefully. Alberto gave him a salute before walking out of the room. Harry quickly changed and brushed his teeth at lightning speed, hopping into bed with his boy, cuddling up close behind him. He didn’t allow himself to think about Nick in his exhausted state, knowing that he would become emotional. Just a few more weeks to go. He could do it.

Louis knew that he should’ve just told people about his daddies after the incident at the airport. But he was too scared, so he didn’t. So now he was here, having a panic attack in a back dressing room of a stadium in Perth, Australia.

The two hour nap that Louis had the time to have that afternoon made him feel better than ever. He was feeling good, well rested and ready to meet fans. They stood in the same way that they did at the previous two meet and greets, Louis on the end standing next to Niall. There were only 14 fans there that night, thankfully, meaning that the meet and greet would only take around half the time it had the previous two nights.

Everything was going well until one of the last fans walked up. She looked to be in her late teens, a cute face and a nervous demeanor. It was clear that she was a little, a man with the stance of a dom waiting for her directly next to where she’d head when they finished taking the picture. She walked straight up to Louis, hugging him tightly. Louis hugged her back, giving her a pat on the back.

“I just wanted to say thank you and I know how you feel. My parents didn’t want me either when they found out I was a little,” She started, looking into Louis’ eyes. Louis was looking down, biting his lip tightly, and trying to steady his breathing. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with anyone besides his daddies, and definitely not a fan. He nodded, unsure of how he could speak without crying. The other boys were caught up in conversation with one another, not listening to what the girl was quietly saying to him. 

“My mum used to hit me, she never showed me love. I felt so alone. I would go to school black and blue and no one would even do anything, it was awful. I just wanted someone to know,” She continued, voice shaking. Louis’ mind was racing with images from his childhood, cheeks burning with the slaps that rained across them when his mother was particularly frustrated with him, stomach aching as he remembered the days he’d go without food. He could barely breathe thinking about how awful his life was up until less than three months ago. 

“Then I went on the Quench thinking it’d help. I-I met a guy on there and he did things to me that I didn’t understand, but I let him. I was so scared, I thought that’s what having a dom was,” The girl said, eyes full of tears.

Louis couldn’t take it anymore; he couldn’t listen to a story that was so similar to his, one that brought up such horrific and painful memories. So he ran. He ran sobbing out of the room, back to the dressing room that he and Harry had been using. Curling himself into the corner of the room, he sobbed. He couldn’t breathe as he remembered the daily torture that his mum would put him through, both emotionally and physically. His vision was whiting out, he felt numb. Life no longer involved feeling hopeless and unloved, but he remembered how that felt all too well. And he didn’t want to; it hurt him.

Once Louis ran out of the room crying, everything stilled for a moment before bursting into a flurry of motion. Harry ran out of the room at the speed of the light, running back to the dressing room that he and Louis were sharing, thinking that’s the first place the boy would run. And he was right. Louis was curled against the wall in the corner of the room bawling, clearly struggling to get air into his lungs.

Harry let out a strangled breath, moving over to Louis and sitting next to him, but not touching him.

“Angel, daddy’s right here,” Harry said in the special voice that he reserves for Louis.

“No no no, I want to stay,” Louis choked out, body violently shaking.

Louis couldn’t stop picturing his mum and the venom that she spewed. He remembered when he first got put into One Direction and his mum would call him and tell him he needed to come home.

_“Well I don’t want you at home either, but you’ll just disappoint your bandmates. I can’t have that kind of humiliation fall on me, Louis. They’ll find out what you are and drop you. Just quit now, it’s for your own good,” She’d say over the phone, disgust evident in her voice._

_“But I want to stay, we’re really good mum,” Louis said, trying to help her understand._

_“I don’t doubt that they’re good, but you’re just deadweight. The longer you go on with this façade, the worst it’ll be for them, trust me. I’ve been dealing with you for the past 16 years.”_  

The image of Carter filled his mind, the way that he would’ve turned out like the other little if he were to stay with him for the night made him sick. Hearing her talk about how the man she was with didn’t do nice things to her made him feel like he was going to throw up. That could have been him.

“No big boy playtime, no, please,” Louis cried, curling in on himself.

Harry couldn’t restrain himself any longer, softly placing a hand on Louis’ arm.

“Louis, baby, it’s daddy. I’m right here, baby, I’m right here,” Harry said.

Louis’ mind was a fog of dark thoughts, and the sound of his daddy’s voice poked a small hole into the cloud. The little clutched onto the hand that was on his arm, squeezing with all of this strength.

“That’s right, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Harry cooed, grabbing his phone with his free hand. He knew it was only the early afternoon in London and that Nick would pick up. The man picked up on the first ring, Harry putting him onto speakerphone.

“Papa’s here too, angel. We’re both here,” Harry said.

Nick’s stomach dropped at the sound of Louis’ choked breathing and cries. “Hi love, papa’s right here, I love you so much.”

Louis opened his eyes at the man’s voice, the bright light hurting them for a moment. He knew his papa would protect him, that’s what papas do. No one would ever hurt him again if his papa had anything to do about it.

“Papa, it hurts. Please don’t let them hurt me again, papa,” Louis cried, leaning to lay his head on his daddy’s lap.

“No one will ever hurt you, my little cub. Papa is always going to protect you, I promise,” Nick said, blinking back tears at the pain he heard in his boy’s voice. He didn’t know what happened, but he knew that Louis needed him to be strong for him, and that’s what he’d do, because Louis needed his papa.

“I don’t want big boy playtime or hits, I don’t want them,” Louis tried to calm his breathing, resulting in his speech being stuttered.

“We’re never going to hit you angel, never ever. Papa and I would never hurt our precious little boy,” Harry promised, pushing Louis’ hair off of his forehead.

“And big boy playtime is never going to happen. You’re our little boy, now and forever, we won't ever do anything you don't want us to do.” Nick chimed in, wanting to quell all of Louis’ fears. They’d had this exact conversation many times, but Louis had never been as distressed as he was right now.

“It hurts,” Louis repeated, “The things that are in my head. I don’t want them there.”

“We know it hurts, but that’s what daddies are for. Daddy and papa are here to help our little boy stop thinking scary thoughts, you just need to tell us when you’re feeling bad so that we can help,” Harry explained.

“Don’t want to annoy you, I don’t want you to leave me,” Louis said, voice barely loud enough for Nick to hear him.

“Oh, love. We’ll tell you over and over and over again, as many times as you need. We’re never going to leave you. We love you so much; you’re our baby boy. You make us complete,” Nick said fiercely.

“Miss you papa,” Louis said, starting to cry in earnest once again. It hurt his heart to hear the man’s voice over the phone, he wanted his papa to be there holding him and rubbing his tummy.

“I miss you so much, Lou. I’ll see you and daddy very soon.” Nick scrunched his eyes shut, gripping the counter tightly so he didn’t cry.

“I wanna tell people that you’re my daddies. I have the best daddies in the world. I want people to know,” Louis said, pausing as he tried to word what he wanted to say. “I’m happy to have you as my daddy and papa. Are you… are you happy to have me as your little boy?”

Nick and Harry both started speaking at the same time, wanting to assure the boy. They laughed, Nick telling Harry he could speak first.

“I couldn’t be more proud to have you as my little boy, and I know papa feels the same way. You’re the sweetest, most wonderful person in the world, I feel like the luckiest person alive to have you,” Harry said honestly. Louis sat up, pressing a kiss to the man’s cheek.

“Everything that daddy said. You complete us; you are the most loving, silliest, and best little boy, darling. We would be so proud to tell the world that you’re ours.”

“Miss you papa,” Louis repeated again. The boy was breaking Nick’s resolve down, he needed to see the little boy and Harry soon or he’d lose his mind.

“I miss you too, love. Why don’t you go call some people and we can see what can be done?”

They hung up the phone shortly after, a knock sounding on the door. Alberto walked in, quickly shutting the door behind him. He saw a red cheeked Louis whose face was clearly tearstained cuddling up on Harry’s lap in the corner of the room. He moved over to where they were sat, bending down to sit himself on the carpet. 

“How are you, bud?” The man asked.

“‘M okay now, that girl was just saying a lot of stuff I didn’t want to hear.”

“If it means anything, she felt awful. I don’t really know what happened, but she told me to tell you she just wanted to help.”

“That’s very nice of her. I think I’d like to meet the rest of the fans after the show, if that’s okay.”

Alberto tried to hide his sigh of relief. There were some very angry people back in the room when Louis and Harry left, caring more about whether or not they’d meet them than Louis’ mental health.

“That’d be great, bud. I’ll go let them know that and get everything arranged.”

Once Harry and Louis were alone, the little urged his daddy to call Jackie. The woman picked up on the first ring, voice concerned.

“Harry? What happened? Hannah texted me, but it didn’t make much sense.”

“Hi, just a bit of a snafu, a fan said something that upset Louis. He’s okay, though. But, um, we’re ready to tell the world about us? All three of us are,” Harry said, smiling down at the boy in his arms.

“I’m glad he’s okay, she had me worried for a minute there. But okay, great. Do you have any specific way that you’d like to do it? Interview? Tweet?” The woman asked, thinking about the best way that it could happen. If it were 40 years earlier things would be a lot different; people weren’t as open as they were now. It made her job pretty easy, admittedly.

“I kind of have one? Do you trust me?” Harry asked. He’d been thinking about this for a while, knowing that this way was perfect for them to showcase their family to the world

Jackie sighed, “I trust you. I’ll call you tomorrow in a bit with logistical info, interviews, magazines, all that jazz.”

“Thanks!” Harry said. He called Nick back, telling him that they were going to do it. He explained what he wanted to do, and as he does with everything Harry related, Nick absolutely loved it. And so did Louis, and that was the most important part of this, having their little’s consent.

“Post it in five minutes on the dot, okay?” Harry said.

“Of course, baby. I love you both. I’m so proud of you, my brave boy.”

“Love you, papa, love you love you love you,” Louis said, stomach full of happy butterflies.

Louis picked out the captions for the photos, wanting to add a bit of his personal touch into their announcement. They were, of course, from his two favorite songs from Bubble Guppies, but they worked perfectly.

Exactly five minutes later, two photos were posted to Instagram. Nick posted the photo that Harry had taken on the day that Louis’ mum had gone to the press, Louis sleeping on his chest in a onesie, diaper peeking out. He captioned the photo: _wake up the sun, it’s a brand new day._

Harry posted the photo of their three wrists with the bracelets Louis made, “papa”, “Louis”, and “dady” as clear as day. He captioned the photo: _because tonight is a holiday._

Simply put, the world went absolutely wild. That was it; every part of Louis that he’d hidden for so long had now come to light. Was he nervous? Of course! But he knew with his daddies by his side, everything would be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, here we are! we've a lot left to go. 105,000 words in and we've finally gotten to the point where Louis' life can truly begin :)
> 
> as always, comment comment comment comment!! I love hearing what yall have to say! 
> 
> follow the twitter @needaherofic
> 
> this one was quite short, but that's where I wanted to cut it off :) enjoy <3


	16. Chapter 16

Harry and Louis walked into dinner to a loud round of applause and screaming from their crew, the boys running up to them and pulling them into a tight hug.

“Proud of ya,” Niall said, smile on his face.

“Love you boys,” Liam said.

“Ditto,” Zayn mumbled into the huddle, always a man of many words.

“We love you so much,” Harry stated honestly, pressing a kiss to Louis’ hair.

“All right, let’s eat, we were waitin’ for ya. It’s taco night!” Niall exclaimed.

Louis made a small noise of disgust, Harry laughing quietly beside him. 

“A bottle for my sweet boy, no yucky tacos for you.” Louis smiled at the words, happy his daddy remembered that he didn’t like tacos. He liked his baba more than food these days, anyways. 

Harry had noticed it since they took off for tour, the way that Louis wouldn’t leave his side. It was like the boy couldn’t be more than a foot from him without panicking; it was understandable. Harry had watched the way that his mum’s friends’ children would follow them around, always hanging off of them. Louis was obviously insecure, always looking to Harry for reassurance on what he was doing. It made Harry feel important, if he was being honest. Knowing that a human being cared that much about what he thought was an honor that he didn’t want to mess up.

Louis hopped up on his daddy’s lap once Harry had sat down, wrapping the dom’s arms around his waist. One of Sarah’s kitchen assistants brought out Louis’ bottle a few minutes later, Louis giving her a sweet smile before starting to suck. Harry maneuvered the boy so that he could reach the plate that Zayn had placed in front of him, smiling gratefully.

“You boys ready to get to the US?” Sophia asked from where she was sitting. They’d be flying out of Perth tonight and into Chicago for the first of the seven US tour dates. Harry was excited to get back to the US; he had grown to hate being away from home (read: Nick), but he felt more at home in the US. He couldn’t really explain it, but it just felt more like the UK then anywhere else they visited.

“Can’t wait, honestly. For all that people say about their food, I’m always dreaming about it,” Zayn said.

“Hear hear,” Niall said, raising up his glass of water.

Harry’s phone buzzed from where it was sat on the table, the man picking it up to see a text from Nick. He picked it up, typing in his password and holding it away from a distracted Louis’ view.

**I can’t do this anymore.**

Harry’s stomach sank, the vagueness of Nick’s words making him want to throw up. They’d just been on the phone less than an hour ago; what changed?

_What did I do??? What’s wrong baby???????_

He couldn’t feel embarrassment over the patheticness of his texts; this was the love of his life he was worrying about.

**You didn’t do anything, baby. All I think about is being with you and Louis. I’m going crazy over here. I called the head at BBC and explained everything, and they said they’ll grant me 5 days off this week. Do you think I can fly out?**

_Please come, baby, we would love to see you. We could surprise Lou? He would be so happy to see his papa, he always asks about you._

**I can get a flight into Chicago that’ll land about an hour after yours if you’re still landing at noon.**

Harry honestly couldn’t text back quick enough.

_Yes x8939823984 yes that’s perfect. I can’t wait to see you, my love._

**Make sure you keep it a secret from Lou. Love you so much.**

Harry couldn’t help the way that he pressed kisses all over Louis’ adorable face, over the moon to have the knowledge that he’d be seeing Nick in just a day. It seemed like it shouldn’t be happening, and he knew it really shouldn’t be happening. God bless Nick’s lack of self-control.

“Daddy, tickles,” Louis giggled around the nipple of his bottle.

“Love you, angel,” Harry said, receiving a pat to his cheek in reply, Louis unwilling to stop drinking to reply to the man. Harry ate dinner quickly, wanting to have some quiet time alone with Louis before their show. The boy had had an exhausting afternoon, and a bit of cuddling before the show would do him good.

Once in their dressing room, Louis had Harry take off his jeans. He loved nothing more than running around in just his diaper, the feeling of jeans, regardless of how soft they were, something he disliked.

“Can we call nana?” Louis asked from where he was laying in the v of Harry’s legs.

“Of course we can,” Harry said with a smile on his face. He FaceTimed his mum, having taught her just this summer how to use the service. The woman picked up after a few rings, a huge smile on her face that only grew once she saw Louis grinning.

“Hi nana!” Louis squealed, waving at the camera.

“Hi loves, how is my favorite little boy doing?” The woman asked, Louis blushing a bit at the way she called him her favorite.

“I’m good! So good! Did you see daddy and papa’s pictures?”

“I did, dear! I’m so happy for all of you. How are you feeling, Harry?” She asked him, a look in her eyes that Louis missed. She was reasonably concerned about her only son; she wanted to make sure he was all right. Jumping straight into fatherhood while being on a world tour was a lot to handle, and she couldn’t help but worry.

“I’m over the moon, mum. Can’t wait to see you in a few weeks,” Harry said. 

Lou knocking on the door at the perfect time, stepping into the room.

“You boys ready to go?” She asked.

“Loulou, go ahead and I’ll be there in a second. Be a good boy for Lou,” Harry said, wanting a second alone with his mum.

“Okay, daddy! Love you nana,” Louis said, pressing a kiss to the screen. Lou and Anne both laughed loudly at the boy’s action.

“He still doesn’t quite understand the concept of FaceTime,” Harry said, wiping the screen.

Once the door shut, Harry took a deep breath.

“So, Nick’s coming out to Chicago. It’s been… difficult being apart. Even harder now that we have Louis.”

Anne made a sympathetic noise, “I can imagine, love. How’s he getting off work?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I was with Lou and Nick wants to surprise him, so all we could do was text. I’m sure they were understanding, as with the events of tonight.” 

“I’m so proud of you, Harry,” Anne said, getting a little choked up. “I’ve always been proud of you, but seeing you with a little boy of your own is the proudest I’ve ever been of you. You’re an amazing person and a wonderful father. I love you.”

“Love you too mum,” Harry said, a bit choked up himself. “Thank you for showing me how to be the best parent one can be.”

Alberto entered the room after a swift knock, holding his hand up in apology. “Sorry H, wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t necessary. Louis’ refusing to put jeans on without you there, he’s gettin’ upset and wondering where you are.”

“Duty calls, love you so much mum. I’ll see you soon.” 

“Love you even more, I’ll talk to you soon,” Anne said, smiling with a wave.

As soon as Harry entered Lou and Caroline’s dressing room, he was hugged tightly by Louis.

“Daddy, I missed you so much,” Louis mumbled into his chest.

Harry chuckled, “You’re my little duckling, hm? Always wanting to be right behind daddy.”

Louis nodded into his chest, speaking in all seriousness, “Love my daddy so much.”

“I love you too, let’s get your jeans on and say sorry to Caroline and Lou for causing trouble.”

Looking as bashful as possible, Louis walked over to Caroline and Lou, hugging both of them before saying how sorry he was. Zayn had asked if Harry had had to punish the boy yet, and was surprised when he said he hadn’t. But how could he? The boy had nothing but good intentions; he was as sweet as sugar.

The intro video was almost over, and Louis was feeling more excited than ever to go on stage. He gave his daddy a blinding smile; he was going on stage free of any secrets. Their fans could see him for all he was now, and nothing could feel better than that. No more hiding, just being Louis. 

“Let’s do it, boys!” Niall shouted into their huddle, the energy in the circle absolutely electric.

Liam had a segment during the show where he’d read particularly cute or funny signs, and he took out the time to read one that said: “Nick and Harry= Luckiest Daddies EVER”, the flustered fan who created it screaming and jumping up and down. The fact that there were already signs regarding the Instagram posts from four hours ago was astonishing, the fans really did work fast. The fans went wild as Harry pulled Louis into a hug, the little kissing his daddy on the cheek.

“We are the luckiest daddies in the world, I can agree with that!” Harry said, the fans awing at the way Louis blushed and looked down.

During Girl Almighty, a fan threw a hat that looked like a shark was eating your head and oversized pair of sunglasses on stage. The boys were all surprised that a fan would throw something, Niall having ranted for weeks after a phone was thrown into his knee last tour. But Louis skipped right over to the items, putting on the pair of glasses. He danced over to Liam, creeping up behind him putting the hat on his head. He giggled wildly as the man jumped, so caught up in singing his part that he didn’t feel the hat going on his head. He turned around and saw Louis’ smile, keeping the hat on so that the boy wouldn’t be upset.

Louis turned to look at Harry, pointing to his glasses as if the man couldn’t see what was taking up over half of his face. Harry gave him a thumbs up, Louis’ smile getting even bigger, if possible. The fans were in love with how Louis lit up at Harry’s approval, those who were sitting at home waiting for fans to tweet pictures and videos so that they could see every little interaction that the two had. The fans definitely weren’t disappointed, either; there was a core group of fans who’d waited since the beginning of the group to see Harry and Louis get together, even if they didn’t have matching classifications… or so they thought. They knew that Harry was strong, loud, and bright and thought that Louis needed a bit of protection and bringing out of his shell, and who better to do that than Harry?

When it was time to give his speech, Louis had a hard time putting his thoughts into words. “Hi guys! I hope you’re having as much fun as we are! I just wanted to say I love you and thank you for always supporting me as a person and us as a band. We love you forever, have a good night!” As they had the past two nights, the fans went wild when Louis spoke, the boy smiling so big that his eyes were crinkled into the tiniest of crescent moons.

As soon as the show ended, the boys had to spring out to their waiting cars. Alberto scooped Louis up as he headed off stage, the boy giggling as the man ran with him. He was excited to be going back to the United States; he’d always really liked it there. The hotels were a bit nicer, the food was a bit yummier, and the crowds were a bit louder. Fans were screaming through gates as the boys were herded into the car, Alberto shielding Louis’ eyes from the flash of cameras as he buckled the boy into his car seat. Harry slid in a moment later, just as Louis was readying himself to ask Alberto where his daddy was.

“Daddy! I missed you,” Louis said in all seriousness, reaching a hand out to the man from where he was shutting the car door. 

“My little duckling, I missed you too!” Harry said, pressing a kiss on the boy’s cheek. Alberto shut the door to the car, hopping in the driver’s seat and heading off.

“We should be at the airport in 30 minutes or so, then the flight is around 25 hours with two stops,” Dale said without looking up from his phone.

Louis let out a groan. “That’s more than a day, daddy! I don’t want to be on a plane that long.”

“I know, angel, but we have to. I have some medicine that I’m going to put in your baba so you can sleep for a while. Then when we wake up we can play with some new toys daddy got for you!”

“Toys? Let me see!” Louis said, looking at the man like he expected toys to pop up out of nowhere.

“They’re a surprise, baby, you’ll get them as long as you’re a good boy for daddy.”

“I’ll be your best little boy, I promise, daddy!” Louis answered, a very serious look on his face.

“I know you will be,” Harry said, leaning down to grab a pacifier from the diaper bag and pop it into Louis’ lips. “Now, let’s have some quiet time until we get to the airport.” Louis nodded vigorously at that, leaning his head back. Quiet time was definitely important for Louis, he needed to unwind after a show without being spoken to. And it was necessary for Harry as well, the man needing to check the massive amount of emails that had amassed over the past five hours. He opened one that he’d received from Jackie that affirmed she now knew that Nick was coming to visit them. She insisted that they go out for a day with Louis and let her know when they were doing it so she could tip paparazzi off. She wanted the public to see the family together so that they would stop asking questions, her office being completely hounded, even more than usual. It would be good publicity for the band, to have everything cleared up for once.

Once they were pulling up to the airport, Louis sat up. “Is quiet time over, daddy?” Louis whispered to the man, eyes wide.

“Yeah, baby, you did so well. Wait for daddy to come around to your side of the car before you get out.”

Harry and Louis held hands on the way to the plane, the little barely peeking his head out from his daddy’s side, the lights from the cameras flashing hurting his sensitive eyes.

“Almost there bud,” Albert said from where he was behind Louis.

As always, Louis let out a sigh of relief once he was on the plane. Harry walked him to the bathroom located at the front of the plane, digging through the diaper bag for the boy’s change of clothes.

“How long until papa comes?” Louis asked, lifting his arms up to the sky as Harry took his shirt off.

“Just 15 days, baby,” Harry said, his heart fluttering at how excited he knew Louis would be when he saw Nick in just a day.

“That’s forever!” Louis complained, Harry picking him up to put him on the pull out changing table.

“I know, angel, but it’ll fly by! Promise.”

“Okay,” the little said uncertainly, not sure if the days until he saw his papa again really would fly by. 15 days seemed like a very long time.

Harry changed Louis into an overnight diaper and fleece pair of footie pajamas decorated with Batman’s symbol. The little boy blushed in Harry’s arm when Liam and Zayn told him how cool his pajamas were, happy that they liked them.

Louis’ seat was already made into a bed by the time he got there, Lacy lying near the pillow.

“Daddy will be right back, baby.” Harry went to get a flight attendant to make Louis’ bottle, the dom putting sleeping medicine in it before handing it over. He groaned as the stewardess informed him that Louis would have to sit in a normal chair as the plane took off, that he couldn’t lie in the bed.

Louis whined as Harry picked him and put him in a seat, exhausted and ready to sleep. Thankfully, the plane took off moments later. The little fell asleep just minutes after he started drinking his bottle, Harry pleased to know that they’d have a bit of peace and quiet. Harry woke up 8 hours later to see that Louis himself was still asleep. The boy had been sleeping 10-12 hours, so Harry knew it’d be a while before he woke up. He was the first person in the section to be awake, so he pulled out his journal and started to read back over some of the lyrics he’d been working on. 

Four headlining tours and four albums later, the boys were exhausted. They had begged Zayn to stay with the group for one more tour, and were extremely surprised when he obliged. Regardless of how much they loved each other, they wanted to do their own thing and follow their own paths. It was completely understandable. Once the tour was finished, Harry knew they’d have a meeting with their management to discuss their next steps. What did he want to happen? He wanted to have a break. He wanted to have time with his little boy and Nick at home. He wanted to be able to have his mum and Robin come visit; he wanted to see Gemma for the first time in months. He wanted to be able to record his own solo music, just like he knew Zayn, Liam, and Niall wanted to do. Louis, though? He wasn’t sure what Louis wanted to do completely, but he knew that the boy would rather be at home then tour. It was just how littles operated; of course, many had to work jobs to be able to provide a sustainable living wage, but Louis didn’t have to. And Harry didn’t think he wanted to. Him and Nick would be more than happy to provide everything that Louis wanted and more for the rest of their baby’s life. They’d get to that when the time came, though. 12 tour dates to go before they had to think about what came next.

Louis woke up while Harry was eating breakfast about five and a half hours later. They’d already made a pit stop, and had 10 hours left to go. The boy started crying immediately, eyes glazed over like they were when he regressed a lot. Great, Harry thought. He hoped no one threw them off the plane in annoyance.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. Daddy’s right here,” Harry cooed, picking the little boy up to take him to the bathroom to calm him down and change him.

The little sucked on the neck of Harry’s sweater, his hands curling into his hair as he cried.

Harry laid the boy down on the changing table, unzipping his sleeper and pulling it off so he could change him. It was immediately clear that the boy had messed his diaper, his tears now making sense.

“My poor baby, daddy will get you all cleaned up. My sweet little boy, love you so much,” Harry said as he quickly changed his boy’s diaper.

“Dada,” Louis said, looking up with pitiful, tear filled eyes.

“Oh, angel, it’s okay. Dada’s getting you in a nice, new diaper, don’t cry.” Louis looked up at Harry with wide eyes, not understanding what the man was saying in his state of mind. All he knew was that his dada had a happy sounding voice, and he loved listening to it. 

Once Louis was changed, Harry put him back into his sleeper before carrying him out. Just as asked, the stewardess had flipping his chair back into chair form instead of a bed.

“How about we color for a bit?” Harry said more than told Louis, knowing the boy would do whatever Harry got out for him. He didn’t want him watching TV right now; he’d use it as a last resort.

Zayn walked over while Harry was getting the coloring supplies out, taking the empty seat next to Louis.

“What’s up, boys?” Zayn asked, smiling at Louis.

“We’re just about to color, want to join?” Harry questioned.

“I’d love to!” Zayn exclaimed, tickling Louis belly and drawing a giggle out of him.

Sophia rotated her seat that was in the row in front of them so she was facing the boys. “Did someone say coloring?”

“The more the merrier,” Harry said, elated that people wanted to play with Louis.

He pulled out a huge box full of crayons, colored pencils and markers along with a pack of construction paper.

“All right my fellow artists, Zayn’s gonna hand out the paper,” Harry instructed, handing Zayn the paper.

“What color do you want, Lou?” Zayn asked the boy, flipping through the colors. Louis pointed a finger to a piece of light blue paper, Zayn ripping it out and putting it on his tray. Everyone soon had their paper and began to draw. A stewardess came over once she saw the group awake, asking if anyone wanted a drink. Harry had her fill up a bottle with apple juice for Louis, wanting the boy to remain hydrated.

Louis focused on drawing as best as he could, wanting to have it turn out perfectly. He got frustrated easily, not being able to draw his papa’s hair as well as he wanted. He was drawing his daddy, papa, and himself holding hands with a lot of dolphins in the background.

“What’s wrong, bud?” Zayn asked from where he was seated next to him.

“Papa hair,” He said, pointing to the top of the man’s head.

“Ah, do you want some help?” Zayn said. Louis nodded eagerly, knowing how good of an artist Zayn was. The man fit his fingers over Louis’, making it so the boy felt like he was helping even though it was all Zayn. 

“Thank you!” Louis said, pressing a wet kiss to Zayn’s cheek. 

“Of course, Lou,” Zayn said, waiting until the boy looked away before wiping the saliva off of his face. Harry gave him a grateful look for waiting.

Everyone was finished drawing long before Louis was, the boy adding lots of detail so it would be perfect. He was finally done about an hour later, tapping his daddy so he’d look. 

“For papa!” Louis said, a bright smile on his face. Harry took in the drawing, three stick figures, one with crazy spirals coming off its head, one with big blue circles for eyes, and one with perfect hair that he clearly had making. It was perfect.

“Oh, angel! It looks so good! Papa is going to love it so much. Do you want me to keep it safe for him?” Harry exclaimed, peppering kisses all over his little artist’s face. Louis nodded eagerly, handing his drawing to his daddy.

Louis’ stomach made a perfectly timed grumbling noise, Harry getting ready to feed his boy. Thankfully, the rest of the flight went off without a hitch, Louis taking up the rest of the time playing with his plastic Bubble Guppies toys and watching Disney movies with Liam.

Harry’s excitement continued to build until they landed in Chicago, over the moon about the fact that he’d be seeing Nick so soon. As soon as they landed they were ushered out a back exit and put into cars. They headed to the Langham, entering through the hotel’s parking garage that had a steel door so no fans could get through. There was virtually no way for fans to get inside the hotel, and that’s why Chicago was one of Harry’s favorite cities.

“All right, let’s get you upstairs,” Alberto said, unstrapping Louis from his car seat. Bellboys were gathering up their bags for them, Harry having both arms free so he could pick up Louis. He figured he had time to put the boy down for a short nap, wanting to get him back on a schedule. It was noon in Chicago, and he wanted the boy to get acclimated to the time zone as they’d be in the US for 15 more days. Dale handed Harry their key as he walked onto the elevator with Alberto and Phil.

“Any plans for the day?” Alberto asked, wanting to know what was going on. He knew that Nick was coming and was sure they’d want to go out.

“Think we’re going out to get some pizza and do some shopping!” Harry said, bouncing Louis on his hip. He knew the boy was tired since it was the middle of the night in Australia. Harry hated the time changes more than anything. Once they got to their hotel floor Harry tipped the bellboys for bringing all of their bags up so quickly before entering the room.

He placed Louis on the floor before entering the room, much to the boy’s annoyance.

“What’s that noise for, little cub? Aren’t you happy to see your papa?” Nick said teasingly from where he was perched on the edge of the bed.

Louis and Harry both stood there shocked for a moment, Harry wondering how Nick had gotten there when he said his flight landed in another hour, and Louis unsure of why his papa was there. The little boy burst into tears, running and jumping into his papa’s lap.

“Papa,” Louis sobbed, squeezing the man tightly.

“Hi baby, I missed you so much,” Nick said, patting the little boy’s bum.

“I want to get on this cuddle,” Harry said, climbing onto the bed and pressing a kiss to Nick’s lips and sitting by the man’s side.

“Are you happy to see your papa?” Nick asked Louis, both daddies chuckling at the boy’s answering nods. Louis’ body betrayed himself, the boy letting out a loud yawn.

“It’s time for our favorite little boy to nap, then we can go out and get some pizza,” Harry promised. 

Louis let out a whine, not letting go of his tight grip on his papa.

“Baby, the quicker you go night night, the quicker we can go out. I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up,” Nick said. The boy was laid down under the covers, Nick unable to stop smiling at the way that he looked with his pacifier bobbing between his lips. 

As soon as he was asleep, the men went to Alberto’s room.

“Surprise!” The guard said, shaking his hands in the air.

“Were you in on this?” Harry asked, shaking his head slightly.

“I was indeed. Now, I have the monitor in here and you two have your own room down the hall. Go enjoy your time alone while the tyke’s asleep,” Alberto said, throwing them another keycard.

Nick and Harry didn’t need to be told twice.

Harry couldn’t help but think about how stupid it was that they stayed in the same hotel every time they went to a city. All it took was for their fans to know that their planes landed for them to show up anywhere. And as time went on, they got more and more savvy. Now they’d wait for their cars to pull out and follow after them as if it was a high-speed chase in some movie. And Harry was annoyed. All he wanted was an afternoon with the love of his life and his baby, but he wasn’t sure that would happen with the way that people were following their cars. 

“Please drive safely, we’ll just tell them to stop following once we’re there,” Harry told Alberto from where he was seated up front driving. He didn’t want Louis to get hurt, and driving dangerously would definitely increase those odds.

“All right, sounds good,” Dale said from the passenger seat.

They arrived to Gino’s East, Louis’ favorite Chicago Pizza place, letting the valet take his car. Alberto opened Louis door, giving the boy a hand out of the car after Nick unstrapped him from the car seat.

“Louis, please! We just want a few pictures,” The fans said. About 15 of them rushed out of the three cars that had followed them, a definite signs that they’d smushed into the cars. Nick jumped out of Louis’ side of the car, going to where his baby was making himself small behind Alberto. 

“It’s okay, love,” Nick consoled the boy, grabbing his hand and walking him up to the pavement. The fans gasped when they saw the man, beginning to take pictures and videos. No one had ever seen him with Louis before, they knew they’d be getting tons of retweets if they posted this. 

“Come on, we just want pictures! It’s not that hard,” One girl yelled rather rudely.

“I’m sorry, girls, we just want to have a quiet evening, please,” Harry said with a smile.

“That’s such bullshit, we pay so much money to see you and this is how you fucking treat us?” The same girl said, her friends backing away from her as if they didn’t want to be grouped in with her. 

“Could you please not use those bad words in front of Louis? Have a good night, girls, drive safely,” Harry said, his voice tight. Dale opened the door to the restaurant for them, Alberto staying at the back of the group to make sure they weren’t followed in. Harry hated that one person would ruin it for an entire group of most likely perfectly kind people. He’d seen the rude girl all over America on past tours, he knew exactly who she was. If he was being honest, he wished she would just stop being a fan of the band, so he’d stop getting annoyed every time he stepped out in a city and saw her face. 

“You good, H?” Nick asked quietly, still holding Louis’ hand.

“All good, love,” Harry said with a smile, pressing a kiss to the man’s cheek. He’d felt so relaxed after his… quiet time with Nick, and was trying to get back into that mood.

“Hi, sorry for the wait! Two booths for Styles, right?” An older hostess said, grabbing menus. She’d been assigned to bring the men to their tables because she was the one who cared the least about the band. Harry appreciated how calm she was. 

“That’d be us, thanks,” Harry said with a warm smile.

“You can follow me this way, we’re going to head up the stairs,” The woman said.

“You first, Lou,” Nick said, waiting for the boy to head up the stairs after Dale.

“Okay, papa,” Louis said, stepping carefully onto the stairs, holding on tightly to the man’s hand. The hostess looked at him with a smile.

“Aren’t you cute? What’s your name?” The woman asked him in a kind voice.

Louis blushed, looking up shyly and answering her. “I’m Louis, thank you Miss.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Louis. Who taught you those wonderful manners?” 

“My daddy and papa!” Louis said happily.

“Well they sure are doing a good job! I hope you’re excited for some yummy pizza.” The hostess walked them up to their booth, placing down their menus.

“We’ll be sitting at the booth right next to ya,” Alberto said, sliding into their booth. Everyone besides Louis noticed the way that the room went a bit quieter when the group walked in, clearly recognizing who the three younger men were. 

“Your waiter will be right with you, enjoy your food! It was nice meeting you, Louis,” The woman said, giving the group a bright smile. Like everyone who met him, she was completely smitten with Louis; who could blame her?

Louis slid around the side of the round booth until he was in the middle of his daddies. 

A waiter walked up a minute later, placing down three napkin rolls of silverware. “Hello, how are you guys doing today? I’m Ryan, I’ll be your waiter today. Can I start you off with some drinks?”

“I’ll take an iced tea, please,” Nick said.

“An iced tea for me as well. Some lemonade in here for him, thanks,” Harry said, handing over a bottle. Nick had asked whether or not the boy wanted a sippy cup, but Louis insisted on a bottle. He liked them a lot more, and who were they to not do what the boy wanted?

“Of course, I’ll have those out in a minute. Let me know if you have any questions about the menu after you look it over.”

“Mr. Ryan? Could I please have crayons?” Louis asked the man politely. Nick and Harry both leaned in to press kisses to the boy’s cheek at the same time, pleased with the boy’s manners.

“Of course you can, sir,” The waiter said with a smile, Louis giggling as the man gave him an exaggerated bow.

“I’m so lucky to have a little boy with the best manners in the world!” Nick said in Louis’ favorite happy voice.

“Can you please read the app’tizers please?”

“Let’s see… we have nachos, potato chips, pretzels, oooh, this is a winner, brussel sprouts! That’s what you want, right Lou?” Nick joked, tickling the boys tummy.

“Yuck! No sprouts,” Louis said, scrunching his nose up, Nick laughing loudly.

“Heeeey, brussel sprouts are delicious!” Harry said with a pout.

“Yucky, daddy. No one likes green veggies!” Louis exclaimed in all seriousness.

“I like them very much! Hm, I see something I think you might like a little… mozzarella sticks?”

Louis clapped his hands together with a huge smile on his face. As much as Harry tried to sway him to the vegetable side, Louis was smitten with fried cheese and chocolate.

Ryan walked back up to the table, placing crayons and a piece of paper in front of Louis besides handing out the drinks. Louis immediately began sucking on his bottle.

“We’d like to order some appetizers,” Nick said, looking back down at the menu.

“Of course, whenever you’re ready!” Ryan said, pulling out his notepad.

“We’ll take mozzarella sticks and brussel sprouts, please,” Nick said with a smile.

“And for dinner we’ll have a large thin crust half cheese, half artichoke hearts and spinach,” Harry finished, shutting his menu.

“Ew!” Louis said, shaking his head quickly.

“The cheese side is for you, you picky little thing,” Harry said teasingly.

“Perfect! The appetizers will be coming right up, let me know if you need anything else!” Ryan said with a laugh.

Louis started to color, humming a happy little tune to himself. Harry and Nick talked about how work had been going back at home and how he was having the Downton Abbey cast come in the next month. Nick had always been a bit hesitant when it came to patting himself on the back, always listening to the critical comments that he received about his show. Harry did his best to squash his negative thoughts and let him know how good of a job he was doing.

Only a few minutes later, the appetizers were placed down in front of them.

“Be very careful, the sticks are piping hot!” Ryan warned.

Nick cut up the mozzarella sticks into small pieces for Louis, dipping one into marinara before popping it in the boy’s mouth.

Louis hummed happily, “Yum, papa, so yummy.”

“I’m glad you like it, make sure you chew!” Nick said.

“Want to try a brussel sprout, baby?” Harry asked after swallowing one himself.

Louis shook his head very quickly, patting Harry on the cheek. “No, daddy, don’t want to take them away from you! You can eat all of them.”

Nick and Harry laughed at the boy’s antics.

“How generous of you, thanks love,” Harry said, stroking the boy’s face.

As Nick was putting the last bit of a mozzarella stick into Louis’ mouth, a nervous looking girl walked up to their table.

“H-hi, I- um… I was just wondering if I could take a picture with you three? I-I um, I’m really sorry for asking, this is j-just the only time I’ll be able to see you guys. I can’t afford tickets to see you guys play,” She said, looking down to the floor.

Before Harry or Nick could even answer, Louis smiled at her. “Come sit for a picture! Albs, can you take the picture?” The boy asked the guard who had stood up, ready to tell the girl to go away.

“Of course, Lou,” The guard answered, taking the girl’s phone.

Harry patted the spot next to him in the booth, the girl blushing bright red as she scooched in.

“What’s your name?” Louis asked her, leaning over Harry and still smiling brightly.

“I-I’m Bridget, everyone calls me Bri,” She said, completely flustered.

“It’s nice to meet you, Bri,” Harry said, Nick agreeing.

“Smile on three,” Alberto said, counting down with his fingers.

Nick engaged her in conversation for a second, while Louis whispered in Harry’s ear.

“Daddy, can we give her tickets to the show? She seems sad, I want her to be happy!” Louis said.

It broke Harry’s heart how simple it was for the boy, thinking that simply giving the girl concert tickets would make her more confident and happy.

“Of course we can, love. We’ll have Alberto take care of it,” Harry whispered back.

“Want to come see us sing tomorrow? It’ll be really fun, I promise” Louis said with all the excitement of a newborn puppy playing outside for the first time.

“What? Are you serious?” Bri asked, wide eyed.

Louis nodded eagerly, “Yes! I really want you to, it’ll make you happy!”

The girl smiled at Louis’ enthusiasm, enamored by the little. “I’d love that, thank you so much. That means a lot.”

“Of course, it’d be our pleasure. Just give Alberto over there your twitter and we’ll be in touch,” Harry said sincerely.

“Thank you so much, really,” The girl said, sliding herself out of the booth.

“Have fun tomorrow!” Nick said, giving the girl a wave goodbye.

Once they were alone, Harry turned to Louis with a huge smile on his face.

“That was very sweet of you, angel,” Harry said.

“I just wanted her to be happy,” Louis said with a shrug, like it was no big deal.

Their pizza came out a few minutes later, each of them relieved to see the delicious pie. Nick cut Louis’ pizza up into bite sized pieces, taking joy in feeding the boy. He’d missed it so much while they were gone, he loved doing things for Louis.

“Open up!” Nick said happily, twirling his fork into Louis’ mouth. As they had been the whole night, the group was oblivious to the pictures that were being sneaked by people. Well, that wasn’t completely true. Louis was oblivious, too caught up in the affection his daddies were giving him. But Nick and Harry simply didn’t care; the pictures would squash nasty, baseless rumors that Nick didn’t want Louis. The world would see the photos and hopefully be quiet for at least a moment or two.

They were done with their food a while later, paying their bill and tipping Ryan generously before standing up. Alberto and Dale had finished a bit earlier, standing up as soon as they saw the others doing the same.

“Ready to go?” Dale asked with a smile. Nick was putting Louis’ jacket on, making sure the boy was all bundled up before heading out into the cold Chicago night. It was a stark change from the summer weather in Australia; Louis wished he was back in the sunny warmth of the other continent.

“Yep, let’s still head to you know where,” Harry said quietly with a wink. Dale nodded, guiding them downstairs to the front entry way of the restaurant. Alberto had headed down already, giving the valet their ticket for their car.

Harry held Louis’ hand tightly as they walked down the stairs, wanting the boy to be careful as he walked. The hostess from earlier greeted them at the bottom of the stairs with a frown on her face.

“A crowd just seems to be continuously growing outside, we’ll have some of our tougher waiters keep them at bay. I’m so sorry about this,” The woman said, clearly distressed.

Harry was quick to quell her worries, placing a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry about it, people seem to just show up in drove wherever we are. It’s not your fault.”

“All right, here’s our group of warriors,” She said, a group of six bigger men walking up. 

“If you could just keep the fans back while they head into the car that’d be great, we really appreciate it,” Dale said with a smile. “Alberto, the other bodyguard, is waiting in the car, so we’ll head out as soon as we’re in the car.

The men all nodded, looking rather comfortable for people who were about to deal with an unidentified number of screaming girls.

“Papa,” Louis said softly, holding his arms up. The man instantly picked him up, bouncing the boy soothingly on his hip.

“Ready to go?” Dale asked, Harry and Nick nodding while Louis pushed his face into his papa’s shoulder.

“Love you, little cub,” Nick said before following Dale outside. As far as crowds went, it could’ve been worse. The waiters did a surprisingly good job at keeping the fans at bay, Harry and Nick wouldn’t have even known they’re there if it weren’t for their screams of Harry and Louis’ name.

Soon enough, Louis was bucked into his car seat and they were off again.

“Where are we going?” Louis asked curiously.

“It’s a surprise!” Harry said with a smile. Louis let out a gasp before smiling, excited to see what his daddies had planned.

“A very good surprise,” Nick sang, pressing a kiss to Harry’s lips.

The car pulled up to a parking garage, Alberto quietly talking to the man inside before being allowed in the almost empty structure.

“Where are we?” Louis asked anxiously, knowing this wasn’t the hotel parking garage.

“A fun place you’ll love, we’ll be there in just a few minutes, duckling.”

Nick looked at Harry, waiting for an explanation.

Harry explained quietly, Louis not even listening as he looked out of the car. “Louis’ been following me around like he’s my baby duck, hasn’t let me leave his sight. It’s adorable, mostly.”

“The sweetest little duckling whoever lived, I’m sure,” Nick said, smiling.

The car pulled into a parking spot, Louis letting out an excited noise at the prospect of figuring out what the surprise was.

“Let’s go!” Louis said, fingers fumbling as he unsuccessfully attempted to unclasp his car seat.

“Woah there tiger, let me get that for you,” Alberto laughed, easily getting Louis out of the car. The boy was relieved to see that the garage was nearly void of all cars. Louis reached for both of his daddy’s hands, holding them and walking in the middle of them.

A man in a security guard uniform met the group at a door leading into the building the parking garage was connected to.

“Dale, I assume?”

“That would be me, thanks for meeting us,” Dale said, shaking the man’s hand.

“No problem, the mall’s been closed for an hour or so, I’ll take you right where you need to go.”

Louis could tell that they were in a mall the second they stepped inside, but he wasn’t sure what store that his daddies would take him to. Most of them had their lights off as it was past closing time, and when he finally saw one with the lights on he started squeezing both of his daddies’ hands in excitement.

“Here we are,” The security officer said, stopping in front of the store Louis was hoping he’d stop in front of.

The little started crying as the security guard walked off, overwhelmed with the love his daddy and papa constantly showed him.

“N-no one’s ever taken me to Build-A-Bear before,” Louis cried, looking at the magnificent store before him.

“We know that, angel, that’s why we wanted to take you!” Harry said softly, thumbing the tears off of Louis’ face. Every time Louis told Nick or Harry that he hasn’t done something, they put it onto a list. They wanted to give their boy the chance to do everything he wanted to do. If he wanted the moon, they’d find a way to get him it.

“Now let’s get a smile on that face, and go make a new toy!” Nick said in Louis’ most favorite voice. Louis took a deep breath before smiling up at both of his daddy’s. Alberto and Dale had gone to sit on a bench in front of another store, waiting for the men to finish up.

Entering the store, a woman with bright red hair greeted them, her apron bright blue and emblazoned with a teddy bear.

“Hi friends! Welcome to Build-A-Bear Workshop! I’m Rae, I’ll be helping you today! Have you been here before?”

Louis shook his head, looking around in awe of all of the stuffed animals and clothes that the store had for them.

“Perfect! Let’s start over here, where you can pick out which friend you want to take home!” 

Louis was entranced by all of the stuffed animals he could create, unsure of which one to make. It was such a tough choice. He walked down the row, eyes lighting up when he saw the perfect choice.

“That one, please!” Louis said, pointing to a stuffed duckling.

Harry laughed a bit, smiling at Louis’ choice.

“I’ll have a little cub for papa and a duckling for daddy! Just like me,” Louis said, the men grinning wildly at how thoughtful Louis was.

“That’s right, darling,” Nick said, pressing a kiss to the boy’s head.

“All right! There are lots of ducks in that bin, so you can pick which one you want and then we’ll stuff him!” Rae said, pointing to the yellow bin that was directly in front of the platform that held the example duck up. Louis took his time finding the perfect one, Harry and Nick not having the heart to tell him they were all the same.

“This one is perfect!” Louis stated.

“Perfect! Now we can head over here and pick out what we want to go inside of him or her. We have lots of different kinds of hearts that you can put inside of their heart, and if you want to record a message you can put that in there too!” 

Louis was deep in thought, thinking about all of his choices before grabbing a simple red heart. “This one please, and I want papa and daddy to say something. If you want,” Louis finished shyly, looking up at the men hopefully.

“Of course, duckling, we’ll go do that right now while you start stuffing your new friend!”

“Come here, Louis! We have a special machine we use to fill our friends up here at Build-A-Bear,” Rae said excitedly, waving Louis over to a big machine that had cotton flying around it in.

“Will it hurt him?” Louis asked, a little frightened about what the machine would do. 

The woman’s smile grew at the boy’s cuteness, assuring him that it wouldn’t hurt the duck, but it’d bring him to life. 

Once the duck was attached to the machine, Louis started stepping on the pedal that added fluff to his bear.

“Look at you go! Turn around and smile, love,” Nick said, taking a video for his Snapchat story. He knew that the screenshots would be rolling in as soon as it was up. 

“All right, just one more big step and we’re all done!” Rae said, grabbing the animal once it was stuffed just right. “Okay! Let’s put the voice recorder in. Then when you press your duck just right, you’ll hear the noise. Perfect! Now let’s put the heart in, kiss it first and then put it wherever you want to! Now I’m going to sew his back up for you and we can pick out some clothes for them.”

Louis went over to look at the clothes, finding the perfect outfit for his new friend. He picked up a sailor hat and a pair of matching shoes, but that was it.

“I don’t want him to have clothes because Lacy doesn’t, and that would make her sad,” Louis said as if it was a big concern of his.

“That’s very sweet of you, Lou. Why don’t you pick out some outfits for both of them? I know that clothes from here fit Lacy too, I checked!” Harry said.

“Okay!” Louis said, excited to be able to get some clothes for both of his friends. He picked up a few pairs of pajamas, t-shirts, jeans, and a dress for Lacy. It was a very successful shopping trip, he’d have the best dressed friends in town, without a doubt.

“All right! Looks like you’ve got a good wardrobe going! Now let’s get his birth certificate made! Do you know what his name is going to be?” Rae asked, sitting at a computer and having Louis sit next to her. 

“His name is Dusty! Dusty the ducky,” Louis said, rubbing the soft hair against his face.

“What a good name,” Harry and Nick said at the same time, both of them laughing at their similar thought pattern.

Louis couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have a new friend. More than that, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have such an amazing daddy and papa. He loved them so much.

Shortly after that, the group headed back to the hotel, Louis yawning multiple times.

He felt like he was flying once he was tucked into bed between his daddies, his head resting on his papa’s chest.

“I love you, thank you for being the best daddies ever,” Louis mumbled, unable to open his tired eyes.

“I love you so much, angel,” Harry said, pressing a kiss on the boy’s lips.

“I love you, too, little one,” Nick said, patting the boy’s butt, unable to kiss him without disrupting him from where he was falling asleep on his chest.

Louis was sound asleep a few minutes later, Nick and Harry both taking the time to check their social media.

A quick logon to Twitter showed them that every aspect of their day had been documented, from fan photos of Nick getting off of the plane to Build-A-Bear posting a photo of Rae and Louis that Nick took on the woman’s phone. Bri from Gino’s had posted how kind Louis was, the fans positively freaking out about how the boy had treated her.

Harry laughed internally as he thought about how happy Jackie would be with the chatter about them running rampant. More than that, Harry thought about how happy HE was with both of his favorite boys by his side. He knew it was pretty cliché, but he was sure life couldn’t get much better than this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey! hope you all enjoyed the chapter :) this chapter was based off of my own experiences with 1D in Chicago and the way I've seen fans treat the boys. I'm sure others can relate! 
> 
> as always, comment! let me know your thoughts, what you want to see, anything you're thinking :)
> 
> official twitter: @needaherofic follow me for pictures, update information! 
> 
> have a great day!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: past abuse!!!!
> 
> this chapter is for the homeless man I met in Chicago with a cute dog named Cinderella that I gave a $100 bill, my time at Chicago OTRA, my time at Indianapolis OTRA, and Louis and Liam's fights at the end of each show.

Louis woke up the next morning rearing and ready to go. He started to run his fingers through his papa’s hair happily, Nick opening his eyes to see Louis nose to nose with him.

 

“Hi papa!” Louis whispered in a loud tone. Nick put a finger to his lips, climbing out of bed and offering the boy a hand. Harry had admitted that Louis had been waking up early and it left him tired, especially with the time changes. Nick promised to let him sleep, and that’s what he’d do.

 

“Let’s get you all dressed for the day and we can go get some yummy breakfast!” Nick exclaimed as he changed the boy’s diaper in the living area of the room.

 

“Pancakes?” Louis asked hopefully.

 

“Lots and lots of pancakes,” Nick said, tickling the boy’s cute little tummy. He was happy to see that Louis had filled out, now having a tiny belly instead of sharp hips jutting out.

 

“Want to wear the soft leggings, please,” Louis said as Nick rummaged through his suitcase.

 

“All right, love,” Nick said. He dressed the boy in a pair of black leggings and a bright blue shirt that had the cast of Bubble Guppies on it, the boy insisting that he wear it. “Let’s go brush our teeth and then head out!”

 

Alberto’s door was half open when they entered the hallway, Louis all bundled up in a puffy winter coat and gloves. Nick made sure to grab Louis’ diaper bag, making sure it was filled with everything he might need.

 

Nick knocked quietly on his door, the guard quickly opening it. “Good morning, where are we headed?” Alberto said, pulling on a jacket.

 

“I thought we could go to the Original Pancake House on the Magnificent Mile, it’s a bit down the road,” Nick said, Louis letting out a gasp of excitement.

 

“Sounds good, I’m always up for some pancakes. Let me get Phil from next door then we can head out.”

 

Louis was excited to have some time with his papa, especially when they were eating pancakes together. He was so happy to be holding his papa’s hand as they took the elevator to the parking garage.

 

“Are you going to watch me sing tonight, papa?” Louis asked curiously.

 

“I am, I can’t wait to watch you and daddy, darling!” Nick said. And it was true. Even when he was just with Harry, he loved watching the group perform. He’d never seen anything like it, the way that they would hold a group of 60,000+ under a spell for two hours.

 

They drove to the restaurant quickly, Phil pulling the car up out front. “I’ll go find a spot and then I’ll be inside.”

 

Nick hopped out and unbuckled Louis, Alberto heading into the restaurant to explain the situation to the hostess. It was just after 7:00, so it thankfully wasn’t too busy. As Louis and Nick walked in the woman looked rightfully flustered, quickly gathering up menus to take them to two booths at the back of restaurant.

 

“Do these two booths work?” She asked, shakily placing down the menus at both.

 

“They’re perfect, thank you,” Nick said with a smile, trying to put the woman at ease.

 

“Papa, sit next to me!” Louis said, sliding into the booth. The man in question sat next to Louis, leaving the other side of the booth empty.

 

Nick opened the menu, figuring out what he should order. Louis leaned his head on Nick’s shoulder, looking around at the restaurant. He saw a girl with her mouth wide, clearly staring at him; he smiled hugely, waving to her. She blushed bright red, looking down at her drink. Louis frowned, upset at making the girl upset.

 

He was shaken from his thoughts when an older woman walked up to their table with a kind smile.

 

“Good morning! I’m Theresa, I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you both to drink?”

 

“Morning, a big cup of coffee for me, and some skim milk in here for the little one, please,” Nick said, handing over a bottle.

 

“No problem, I’ll have that right out!”

 

“Chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs, darling?” Nick asked, wanting to confirm.

 

“Yes! With lots of whipped cream, please,” Louis said, kissing his papa’s cheek sweetly.

 

“Of course, love.”

 

Theresa walked back up with the drinks for the two, Nick grabbing a sugar packet from where they were stacked up on the table.

 

“Are you ready to order?” She asked, grabbing her notepad at Nick’s affirmation.

 

“I’ll have an order of plain pancakes for me, and chocolate chip pancakes with scrambled eggs to share.”

 

“Whipped cream, too, papa!” Louis said, looking at the waitress with a hopeful smile.

 

“Of course, cutie, lots of whipped cream for you,” She said with a smile.

 

Louis took a big sip of his bottle, moving his papa’s free hand to his tummy. Nick let out a laugh, beginning to rub the boy’s stomach.

 

“Are you having a good time on tour so far?” Nick asked, not having had a chance to talk to Louis about it yet.

 

Louis sighed; he’d been thinking about this very topic a lot. He wanted to talk to both of his daddies about it together, especially after last night. Nick waited patiently for the boy to speak, not wanting to rush him.

 

“It’s fun. The fans are always loud and have nice signs. But it’s hard. Sometimes fans say mean things or scream really loud and it scares me. I’m always really tired and I can’t sleep because we have to sing on stage late at night. It’s like… I don’t love it the way I used to. I just think about being at home with you and daddy and want to cry, I would do anything to just lay on the couch or play with my toys in the playroom. I feel ungrateful; it makes my tummy hurt thinking about how sad people would be if they knew I didn’t want to sing anymore. I’m scared daddy won’t love me anymore if he knew. The boys and daddy all love it so much, they’re good at this,” Louis finished, letting out a sad sound. He looked down, not wanting to see the disappointed look he thought his papa would have on his face.

 

Nick thought carefully before speaking. “Love, let me start by saying daddy loves you so much, he will always love you. All we want is for you to be happy, and if that means this is the last time you tour, then that’s okay. These past few months have been full of lots of changes, both in your life and for you in general. Accepting your classification changes everything about you, especially when it happens like it did for you. It’s natural to change, even if it is such a big part of your life. We can talk to daddy later and see what he thinks, but I want you to know that he loves you and everything will be okay. Thank you for being honest with me, my brave little cub. Papa’s here to protect you and make sure you’re happy.”

 

“If you don’t think daddy will be mad, then I’ll talk to him. I was just scared,” Louis admits honestly.

 

“He definitely won’t be mad at you, he just wants what’s best for you. Just like I do.”

 

“Okay, love you papa. Thank you.”

 

“Of course, love. That’s what I’m here for.”

 

“And for tummy rubs,” Louis added, giggling.

 

“Tummy rubs? What about tummy tickles?” Nick asked, tickling the little boy, drawing loud giggles from him.

 

“Papa!” Louis exclaimed, blushing. “You made me wet.”

 

“Let’s get you changed then, my little tickle monster,” Nick said, pressing kisses all over the boy’s face. He held up a finger to Louis, telling him to wait in the booth. He leaned down to Alberto’s booth, asking if the man would come to the bathroom to make sure no one walked in while he was changing Louis. Nick was overjoyed to see a little-sized changing table, making it easy to get Louis in a new diaper quickly.

 

“All better?” Nick asked, pulling the little boy’s leggings up. Louis nodded, blushing slightly. As they headed out back to the table, the fan that was staring earlier stopped them. Alberto was respectful as always, allowing the girl to speak so he could see Louis’ reaction before telling her to go away.

 

“Could I get a picture with you, Louis? I’m seeing you tonight and it’d mean a lot to me, please!” She said with a smile.

 

“Sure!” Louis said, throwing his arms around her shoulders. Nick took the girl’s phone, snapping a quick picture of them smiling.

 

“Thank you so much! You guys are really sweet. Can I ask a question?”

 

“What is it?” Louis asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

 

“Well, I tweeted that I saw you, not where I was, of course. And a lot of fans are asking who’s daddy and who’s papa? People saw the bracelet picture but didn’t know who was who.”

 

“This is my papa,” Louis said, hugging the man tightly, cheeks blushing lightly.

 

“Thank you so much, I’ll stop bothering you now!” The girl said, quickly walking out of the restaurant where her family was waiting for her.

 

Alberto walked the two back to their booth, Louis sliding in first.

 

“Can I post a picture to Instagram? I promised a lot of people I’d post more pictures of your cute face,” Nick said.

 

“People want to see me?” Louis asked with innocent shock.

 

“Everyone I know wants to see you, darling. I’ve promised lots of my friends that they could meet you once we’re home! And your gran and grandpa can’t wait to meet you either!”

 

“Your mommy and daddy?” Louis asked, Nick nodding.

 

“That’s right! They’ve been out of the country, but they’re back and are so excited to meet you. You’ll love them,” Nick promised.

 

“I’m excited! And I get to meet Harry’s daddy too!” Louis said in reference to Harry’s stepfather, Robin. Louis climbed onto Nick’s lap for the picture, smiling wide at the camera. Nick quickly Instagrammed it: _Papa, his little prince, and some pancakes._

“I’m your prince, papa?” Louis asked, a small smile on his face.

 

“The most handsome and wonderful little prince in the entire world,” Nick said, kissing the boy’s lips.

 

“All right, let’s see what we have here,” Theresa said, walking back up with their tray of food.

 

Louis had slid off the man’s lap and was bouncing in the booth as Nick cut up his pancakes that definitely had enough whipped cream on them. Nick didn’t even have to ask Louis to open his mouth, the little already sitting there with his mouth open.

 

“Good?” Nick asked, taking a bit of his own food as Louis chewed.

 

“Yum yum yum,” Louis moaned as the food melted in his mouth.

 

Louis thought he was going to explode if he ate any more, but he was in heaven after such a delicious meal. He rested his head on his papa’s shoulder and drank some milk while the man finished up.

 

Phil peeked over the booth, seeing that they were almost done eating. “The car is a few blocks up, do you want me to go get it?”

 

“Can we walk, papa? I want to see the stores.”

 

“As long as you pinky swear you’ll stay by me,” Nick said, Louis immediately holding up his pinky.

 

Once their meal was paid for, the group got up from their tables. Louis immediately grabbed his papa’s hand after the man put his winter gear on, excited to walk outside. He never used to go outside in cities, terrified of crowds and being hounded by fans. His daddies made him feel safe; he was happy he could go out now and see how cool all of the places they went were.

 

The three adults were endeared by the way that Louis was looking around at everything like he’d never been outside before. They passed a homeless man sitting against a building with a little dog, and Louis stopped, eyes welling up with tears.

 

“Papa, why’s he sitting outside? It’s yucky out,” Louis asked.

 

Quietly, Nick answered gently, “He’s just trying to get some money from nice people who walk by, and then he’ll go home with his doggie in a few hours.” Nick hated lying to the boy, but if he told him that he lived outside with his dog he knew Louis would be devastated.

 

“Can we give him some money, pretty please?” Louis asked, a tear moving down his cheek.

 

“Of course, love,” Nick said, pulling out his wallet. He gave Louis an $100 dollar bill, knowing that it was getting cold and it could hopefully help the man get a motel room for a few nights. “Go hand it to him, then come right back.”

 

Louis shyly walked up to the man, bending down. “Hi, Mister. Can I pet your doggie?”

 

“Of course you can, little one. Her name is Cinderella, she’s a good girl.” The man smiled at him, letting go of his hold on his dog. The chihuahua jumped off his lap, running up to where Louis was bending down.

 

“Hi Cinderella, I’m Louis,” The boy said, carefully putting a hand down near the dog’s head. He’d never had a pet, but he loved dogs a lot. They were always licking him, and he loved that so much.

 

“Look at that, she likes you,” The man said with a smile.

 

“Thank you for letting me pet her, she’s very nice. I have a dollar for you, if you want it. My papa said I could bring it to you!”

 

“That’s very kind of you,” The man said, reaching for the money Louis was reaching out. He gasped when he saw that it was a $100, not the dollar bill Louis thought it was. Oh, to be a child again, he thought. “Thank you, little one, this means a lot. Your papa raised you very well.”

 

“He’s a good papa! Thank you Mister!” Louis said, standing up and waving before skipping away.

 

“His dog’s name is Cinderella, papa! She let me pet her,” Louis said, grabbing Nick’s hand once again.

Nick took pictures of the interaction, sending them off to Harry who had just texted him back saying that he’s awake.

 

“I saw that! She looked very sweet,” Nick said.

 

They kept walking, Phil telling Nick they were about a half block from the car park when Louis gasped and stopped walking.

 

Nick knew that they’d be taking a detour once he saw Louis’ wide eyes staring at the Disney Store.

 

“Want to go in?” Nick asked teasingly, Louis not even verbally replying, just tugging the man inside.

 

The store was organized by movie and show, each little section having sizes for both true children and littles. It was difficult to size general stores for littles, as they could be of all shapes and sizes. Nick was happy that Louis was quite small, because it wouldn’t be a problem finding him anything he wanted.

 

“Papa, look! They have Doc!” Louis said as he walked in the store, moving over to the Doc McStuffins display. It was some show about a kid doctor who took care of her magical toys… don’t ask Nick, it kept Louis occupied and happy, that’s all that matters.

 

“Look at that! Maybe she can play with the guppies,” Nick suggested as Louis was looking at the plastic figurines set.

 

“Can I please get them?” Louis asked as if Nick would say no. The boy was always waiting for Nick or Harry to say no, but the word honestly didn’t come often. In Nick and Harry’s eyes, the boy could buy whatever he wanted with his own money anyways, so saying no wasn’t really something they had the power to do. If they even wanted to say no in the first place.

 

“Of course, love, you can get anything you want.”

 

Whatever Louis wanted ended up being the plastic figurines, Pocahantas, Toy Story, Finding Nemo, and Inside Out pajamas, and a few bottles and pacifiers. It was a successful shopping trip, if Louis had anything to say about it. The boy thanked Nick about a thousand times, overjoyed to have new stuff to show his daddy.

 

Once they were back at the hotel, Louis was ridiculously anxious to see his daddy. This was the longest time he’d gone without him in weeks, and he couldn’t wait to hug him again. He asked Nick a few times on the car ride back if his daddy was at the hotel, and Nick soothed him every time. Nick could tell the boy was getting emotional, and texted Harry to give him a heads up.

 

Louis didn’t know why he was feeling like this, a mixture of missing his daddy and thinking about what him and papa talked about making him a bit nervous and sad. He just wanted to hug his daddy. As soon as they were in their hotel room, Louis felt his stomach in knots.

 

“Daddy?” Louis cried out, not seeing the man in the bedroom, so he started walking towards the living area.

 

“In here, angel,” Harry said, swallowing the last of his quinoa. He suddenly had a lap full of heavily breathing Louis, the boy shaking a bit.

 

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” Harry asked, resituating the boy so he was in a more comfortable position. At Harry’s question he started to cry. Nick silently moved in the room to sit on the couch beside Harry, communicating with his boyfriend silently. He knew it’d be emotional, but it was a conversation that needed to be had. Nick sat quietly while Harry held Louis, whispering sweet words in the boy’s ear. He knew this wasn’t his battle to fight, but he’d be there to help in any way he could.

 

“I m-missed you, daddy,” Louis whimpered, letting the man know a tiny bit of the reason why he was crying.

 

Harry’s heart simultaneously melted and broke at the boy’s admission. “I missed you too, my little ducky. But you had fun with papa, didn’t you?”

 

Louis nodded at the man’s question. “Don’t w-want you to leave me.”

 

“Oh, angel, I’m never going to leave you! I was right here waiting for you and papa to come back and tell me all about your time together!”

 

“No, daddy. Leave me forever,” Louis sobbed, frustrated that his daddy couldn’t just read hs mind and know everything that was on his mind.

 

“Baby, why would you think that?” Harry asked, knowing he was getting to the root of why his boy was so upset.

 

“I c-can’t,” Louis moaned before putting his thumb in his mouth. Louis was not feeling good. His tummy and head hurt, and he just couldn’t stop crying. It was like word vomit, he was planning on not telling his daddy what he was thinking, but here he was. He couldn’t stop thinking of his daddies’ most important rules, to tell them when he was feeling sad so they could help him. But he let it build up inside of him, the way he’d want to scream and cry when he was woken up in the morning, the way he never felt like he slept enough with the time changes, the way the fans’ shrieks would pierce into his brain. And they’d only done three shows so far.

 

“It’s okay, just take your time. Papa and I will be right here,” Harry said.

 

Louis tried to calm his breathing, attempting to focus on sucking his thumb. He closed his eyes, breathing slowly. The little couldn’t be embarrassed as he felt his bladder release, he’d drank all his milk and hadn’t gone in a while.

 

Harry felt Louis going to the bathroom, the diaper warming where the little was sat on his lap. He waited a moment before saying anything, not wanting the boy to get a rash.

 

“Love, can daddy change you and get you into some comfy pajamas? Then we can cuddle in bed,” Harry said softly. Louis nodded, not removing his thumb from his mouth. Harry picked the boy up in his arms, hooking his left arm under his knees. Nick moved ahead of them, placing the plastic changing table on the bed. They worked together to get the boy out of his clothes, Louis laying down in only his wet diaper.

 

“Such a good boy,” Nick murmured, running his fingers through Louis’ hair. The little blushed, smiling diminutively behind his thumb. Harry changed him quickly, putting him into a thick, soft diaper that he knew Louis loved but would never admit to. Going to Louis’ suitcase, Harry washed his hands, then grabbed Louis’ beloved Bubble Guppies onesie, knowing the boy would want to wear it. He quickly pulled it over the boy’s head and snapped up the crotch before lying down on the bed. Louis crawled next to him, placing his head on his daddy’s chest. Nick folded up the plastic changing mat, placing it away before positioning himself right behind Louis. He laughed quietly as Louis reached back for his hand, placing it on his stomach. Nick immediately began giving him a belly rub.

 

“Take your time, love, we’ll be here when you want to talk,” Harry said, Louis calming down at the sound of his daddy’s heartbeat. He was here, Louis thought. Maybe he’d leave him, but papa said he wouldn’t. He should trust his papa, shouldn’t he? It was now or never. His mind was in a weird place; he was in more of an adult headspace than he’d been in over a month, but he was feeling so little at the same time. His emotions were running wild, and he couldn’t get a hold on them.

 

“Papa asked me about tour, and it made me sad and nervous and scared. Being put in the band was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I… I don’t know where I’d be without this. Without you. It’s just… ever since I started figuring out who I really am, it isn’t the same. I’m always tired, and scared of the fans, and just wanting to be at home with you and papa. It makes me sick to my tummy to think about it, to think of how ungrateful I’m being. I just don’t want to do this anymore, but I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want to let you down, daddy.” Louis said in a shaky voice, tears falling down his face. He tensed as he waited for his daddy to reply, scared he’d tell him to get out. Deep down, he knew his Harry; the Harry who’d known him for five years now, would never kick him out. Fear was feeding on him, though, making it so that it seemed obvious that Harry would want nothing to do with him.

 

Harry felt a bit relieved at Louis’ words, honestly. The others had asked him whether or not Louis knew they were most likely done after this tour, and he had answered no. It was a tough conversation that he wasn’t ready to have, but now… here he was.

 

“Love, I want to start by saying daddy will never leave you. I’ve been your daddy for a little bit now, but you’ve been my Louis for five years. There’s nothing you could do to make me leave you, ever. I promise. And your happiness and health comes before anything, that’s the most important thing to both papa and myself. I was waiting to talk to you about it until it was a sure thing, but there’s been talk of there being a break after this tour. As you know, Zayn wants to do his own thing, Liam wants to get married, and Niall wants to… do Niall things. It’s too much for all of us at this point, and we were thinking of not renewing our contract again. We only have 12 tour dates left until we’re done, then you never have to work a day in your life again, unless you decide you want to. Papa and I would be more than happy to just cuddle you all day every day, that sounds perfect to me. I would never be upset because you don’t like touring, I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you, baby. I’m trying to make it as easy as possible for you, but I know it’s still hard. If there’s anything I can do that I’m not doing, please please let me know.”

 

Louis breathed a sigh of relief, “To hear that this could be over in 12 shows makes me so happy. I can’t even feel bad about it. It’s like… everyone thinks I’m different and able to be my little self, but I’m not. I wake up from my naps and that’s when I feel like I’m actually being myself. Then I have to go sing and talk to people and be screamed at and I feel so old. Older than I want to be. Like talking to you so properly right now? It makes my skin crawl, it goes against everything my brain is telling me to do. Everything I want to do. I just want to get through these shows and be done for a little bit.”

 

“Only twelve more shows to go, Loulou. We’re almost there. And if you decide you want to sing still, we can arrange that. We have all of the time in the world to figure this out. Like I said, I’ll always love you, no matter what. Papa and I will never leave you, ever ever ever,” Harry sat up, pressing a kiss to Louis’ lips. The little immediately wrapped his arms around his daddy, pulling him into a tight hug.

 

“Love you, daddy,” Louis said, letting out a yawn.

 

“I think it’s naptime for a certain someone,” Nick said lightly, hugging Harry so that Louis was engulfed in the embrace of the bigger men.

 

“Yes, please,” Louis said giggling, wriggling in between the two men playfully. The little was out like a light a few minutes later, Harry looking at Nick mischievously. He turned on the baby monitor and left it on the bedside table before grabbing its counterpart and the room key that Alberto had given him yesterday. Raising his eyebrows at Nick, the man sauntered out of the room. It was definitely time to release some pent up stress, if Harry had anything to say about it.

 

Louis, much to his chagrin, did not wake up feeling as little as he would like to. Instead, he woke up feeling extremely antsy, his mind racing. Harry’s words were echoing in his mind, _“Papa and I will never leave you, ever ever ever.”_ No matter how much Louis wanted to believe that, he couldn’t. Everything in his life leading up to Harry and Nick had told him otherwise. He remembered the time he’d wet the bed when he was 15, his mum telling him the night prior that if he did it again he’d regret it immensely.

 

_He didn’t even have time to fully think about how relaxing it was to sleep through the night before he felt the wet material pressed against his legs. Trying not to cry, Louis banged his fist into his head repeatedly. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. He needed to fix this before his mum found out._

_It was Saturday, so he knew she’d be at work until at least lunchtime. His grand idea was to quickly wash and dry his sheets and comforter, even though he knew it’d take a couple loads to finish all of it. He had 3 hours, he’d be cutting it close._

_Trying not to panic, Louis quickly got up and gathered his sheets and duvet together. In hindsight, he realized he probably should’ve changed his clothes before going downstairs, but he didn’t know if he even had time to do that. So he didn’t._

_Louis was well-versed in washing his own clothes, but sheets? He had absolutely no idea. Common sense says that sheets take up more room than a shirt or pair of trousers, so they probably require a lot more laundry detergent. So he dumped a ton in, thinking it would help make them clean. And he waited somewhat impatiently in the kitchen, pacing back and forth, wet boxers rubbing uncomfortably against his inner thigh._

_He heard a noise and panicked, wondering who could be home early. But the door never opened, so what was it? He rushed to the laundry room to check on how much longer his sheets would take and saw bubbles escaping the washer and falling onto the floor, a thick layer of liquid already on the ground. And that’s where his mum found him, trying to scoop up the endless pile of soap off of the tile with his bare, wrinkly hands and put it into the sink._

_Louis didn’t even realize she was there until his head was kicked into the hard metal of the laundry machine, the little too stunned to even move. So she just continued kicking and punching him, screaming angry words at him. He didn’t even have to admit what he did, the sight of his duvet sitting on the washer enough to confirm that he wet the bed once again._

_It was the hatred of his own mother that showed him no one would ever truly be there for him. Sure, people would be there for a little, but they’d realize he was useless. They’d always realize he was useless. The words of his mum stuck in his mind, and they always would._

_“I don’t know what you’re going to do for the rest of your life, no one will ever want you for keeps. Remember that, you useless little rat. You will always be a let down, even if people don’t realize it at first. You’ll never be good enough for anyone.”_

He couldn’t stop thinking about his mum’s words, but what about what his daddies said? They always told him they wouldn’t leave him, but maybe his mum was right. His problem was figuring out how he’d know? Maybe he could test it out. If he acted as naughty as he could be, then his daddies would leave him. Or they wouldn’t; he really hoped they wouldn’t. He had no idea what he could do to act like a bad boy, but he’d figure it out. His mum always told him how bad he was even when he thought he was doing things right, so maybe this would be easier than he thought.

 

Letting out a loud whimper to signal his daddies that he was awake, he knew he needed to set his plan in motion. That’s the only reason he was calling them in, it wasn’t because he messed his diaper or anything. On the bright side, the band was over in 12 shows, so if his daddy didn’t want him anymore he’d never have to see him again. This would be good, it’d answer his questions once and for all. He needed to do this.

 

“Hi angel, did you sleep well?” Harry asked in a gentle voice, walking into the bedroom from the living room.

 

“Messy,” Louis mumbled into Dusty’s fur. It was never fun soiling his diaper, but maybe it would make his daddies leave him. His plan was working out great already.

 

“It’s okay, baby, daddy will get you all nice and clean, then we can take a nice bubble bath,” Harry cooed, bending down at the end of the bed to pick up the changing supplies. He told Nick to start up the bath, peppering kisses all over Louis’ face in between each word. That was something that Louis would never understand, the way that his daddy and papa were so okay with changing his diapers. Why would they do that for him?

 

Once Louis was all cleaned up, diaper change including Harry singing to him softly and ticking his belly, he was left naked and walked to the bathroom. Nick was sitting by the big Jacuzzi tub, meticulously pouring in Louis’ favorite bubbles.

 

“Ready to hop in, darling?” Nick asked, feeling the water one last time before standing up. He pressed a kiss to Louis’ forehead, unfazed by the boy’s nudity. Louis tried not to giggle as his papa picked him up under his armpits and placed him in the tub.

 

Louis chastised himself; he needed to get it together. No laughing, he was trying to see if he could push his daddies away.

 

“Toys,” Louis asked, making sure not to tack the please on as he would usually do.

 

“Of course, angel!” Harry said excitedly, placing Louis’ favorite spray boats in the tub. Louis couldn’t help but let out a happy sound and clap excitedly at the sight of the colorful little boats.

 

He played with the toys for a bit, his daddies nonchalantly taking pictures and sending them out to their respective parents. Louis decided he would spray his daddies with the water and maybe that would make them mad… It didn’t.

 

“You want to play with your daddy and papa, silly boy?” Harry cooed, reaching his hand into the tub and tickling Louis’ bare belly, granting him a loud laugh. So, the bath didn’t go as planned. No angry eyes, no stern words. Onto the next.

 

Louis was laying down on the changing pad, sucking his fingers as he waited for his daddy and papa to come back in the room and put his diaper on. He didn’t know what it was about his fingers, but they felt so good in his mouth. For some reason, his daddy and papa didn’t like it when he sucked on his fingers, always putting a paci into his mouth instead.

 

“Here we are, let’s get you dressed,” Nick said in Louis’ favorite voice, the little having to work hard not to smile.

 

“Ah ah ah, let’s get those yucky fingers out of your mouth,” Harry said as he walked in, coming to sit by Louis’ head and gently pry his fingers out and put a pacifier in. Louis let out a whine, tears starting to fill his eyes.

 

“No!” Louis protested, his word muffled because of his hands.

 

“Come on, love, daddy has a paci right here,” Harry said, holding the pacifier over Louis’ eyes.

 

“No no no no,” Louis argued, drool escaping the side of his mouth. He kicked his foot out in anger, accidentally hitting his papa in between his legs. Nick let out a pained noise, getting off the bed to walk it off, leaving Louis’ diaper half taped up.

 

The little started crying in earnest at the thought of hurting his papa, it wasn’t even intentional, now they would definitely leave him.

 

Louis removed his fingers from his mouth, reaching his spit covered fingers out for the man who’d just walked out of the bedroom, not wanting to cuss in front of Louis at the pain he was in.

 

“Papa,” Louis bawled, wanting the man to come back and just hold him. He didn’t mean to hurt him! This wasn’t part of his plan; he didn’t mean to hurt the man.

 

Harry quickly finished taping the diaper before pulling Louis into his arms, wanting to comfort the little as best he could until Nick was ready to come back in the room. His heart was breaking at how distraught Louis looked.

 

“Papa, don’t leave,” Louis choked out through his tears. He knew the man was going to leave, he was so upset over how his mother hurt him and now here he was kicking his papa. He was no better than her.

 

Nick’s inner monologue of _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_ was abruptly ended at Louis’ words, the only thing now on his mind was reassuring the little boy that he wasn’t going to leave. If anyone else had kicked him like that he would’ve killed them, but this was Louis, his sweet little boy.

 

“Darling, I’m not leaving, it’s okay,” Nick cooed, quickly walking back into the room. Nick felt awful as he sat down next to Harry, scooping Louis off of his boyfriend’s lap and placing him onto his own. Louis quickly turned his head, wrapping his arms around the man and choking out apologies. Nick couldn’t reassure him enough that he wasn’t mad, thinking to himself that he honestly couldn’t feel pain anymore as soon as the boy started crying.

 

Louis held his papa tight while he cried, not wanting the man to leave him. Not like this. He couldn’t help but be emotional when he thought about it, he didn’t want to hurt someone he loved this much, not the way that his mum hurt him.

 

Nick cradled Louis closely in his lap, pressing kisses into the boy’s hair while he cried. He shared a concerned look with Harry, both men unsure of why this had Louis so upset. It was an obvious accident, so Louis’ reaction was a bit worrisome. Nick put it off as the emotions of the grownup conversation he had with both him and Harry before his nap, and knew that the little boy was just a bit overwhelmed.

 

Louis’ crying stopped eventually, the boy suddenly stiffening in Nick’s lap and crawling out of it. He spent the few hours before they had to leave curled up alone on the bed, eyes glued to the television. He didn’t want his daddies to be around him, he was feeling upset and annoyed. He just wanted to be home in London. He missed his crib and his nana, his highchair, his craft time. He missed everything. He missed just having quiet time with his daddies; it was always so loud on tour. It was too much for him.

 

Harry couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do less than tell Louis it was time to head to Soldier Field, but he had to.

 

He walked into the bedroom, sitting on the bed next to where Louis was curled up with Dusty and Lacy.

 

“Loulou, it’s time to go to the stadium, baby. Can you get up for daddy?” Harry asked hesitantly, feeling a bit anxious at the way Louis’ face quickly crumpled. Louis pulled himself together quickly, nodding silently. Harry didn’t know whether or not that was a good thing or a bad thing. All he knew was that there was inevitable breakdown coming, and he wasn’t ready for it. He selfishly hoped that Nick would be there when it happened, not wanting to have to tackle it himself. The throwing off of Louis’ routine that was caused by tour was seemingly too much for the boy. It was the exact reason that Victoria Beckham quit touring with the Spice Girls, and she was a ten-year-old little, way older than Louis. Their minds couldn’t bear it, even though they tried to. His fingers were crossed that Louis could make it through the next 12 shows.

 

Louis was silent on the way to the stadium, hands mindlessly stroking the soft fur of his two stuffed friends. Alberto pulled the car inside the stadium’s underground tunnel, heeding Harry’s plea for the boy to be able to be without fan interaction. Once in their private dressing room, Louis gave in, lying on top of his papa on the leather couch. The older man couldn’t help but smile at the action, wrapping his arms around the little.

 

All Louis wanted was for the bad thoughts in his head to go away, but that would require a conversation where his daddies would just lie to him like they had been for a while now. They always told him that they wouldn’t leave him, but why would they say anything different? They’re too nice for that, they’ll probably wait until the last show and then tell him to leave their house. That sounded about right. He didn’t want to wait for that, though. He’d provide a catalyst, speed up the process. If his heart was going to be broken, he would do it on his terms. It’s not that he wanted to leave his daddies, he honestly couldn’t think of anything that would hurt worse. It’s just… they wouldn’t want him for that long, no one did. Everyone who told him they wouldn’t leave him did. His mum, his sisters, the only people he ever had. Gone. Louis couldn’t help the quiet tears that soaked Nick’s shirt where his face was pressed into it, it was like he couldn’t stop crying.

 

Once he felt the tears, Nick started to hum softly, patting the little boy’s boy in a soothing, rhythmic manner. The little boy was clearly going through a rough patch with the tour, and Nick couldn’t be happier to have joined them on tour. He wanted to be there through all of the pivotal moments in Louis’ life, whether they’re happy, sad, angry, anxious, or devastating. That was his job as a papa.

 

The crowd was great that night, their screams and smiles made Louis almost forget his anxious thoughts and just live. Almost. The energy that an audience brought was infectious; if they were more hyped up than the boys were, then the boys knew that had to bring it to the next level. It was only fair for the fans who had waited so long to see them, they wanted the people in attendance to have the best memories possible.

 

During the encore, Louis was ridiculously thirsty, but he didn’t want water. Or maybe he did, but there was a possibility his daddy would be upset with him if he drank juice. So, obviously, he did. They were singing Best Song Ever, the last song of the encore, and Louis bent down to pick up some red powerade, wanting a sip before they headed down to the bstage to say their goodbyes. Alberto, from where he was standing on the floor of the stadium, quickly unscrewed the tight lid for him, handing up the bright red drink with a warning look that said “are you sure you should be drinking that?”. Louis carefully took a sip anyways, his wretched, defective hand shaking so much that he spilled the drink down his chin and on his shirt. In front of an American stadium full of 55,000 people. He hoped no one saw, a silly thought that was dashed when he saw Liam laughing hysterically a few feet from him. The dom looked at him, still laughing, and mimed to his chin and his shirt as if Louis didn’t know he just spilled a ridiculously colored drink down his face. It made Louis angry. Really, really angry. So he took what was left of the drink, and spilled it all over Liam before throwing the plastic bottle into the audience and following Niall down to the bstage.

 

If he were to look back, he would’ve seen Harry’s terribly concealed look of shock and disappointment, and Liam’s confused, upset face. Knowing they had to shake it off, Liam and Harry quickly walked down the catwalk, waving goodbye to fans as they went. Spying looks of concern on many fans’ faces, Liam thought quickly before grabbing another bottle of powerade, blue this time, and carrying it down the bstage. He crept up behind Louis who was waving goodbye to the fans and poured the sticky drink all over the little’s head.

 

Louis stood in shock for a moment; not quite realizing what the heck was being spilled on him before quickly swiveling around. Even in his state of dismay, he knew that the fans would freak out if they thought the boys were actually upset with each other. So he slowly bent down, grabbing an already open bottle of water, and poured it all over Liam before skipping off stage right next to Zayn.

 

As soon as he was off stage, he started breathing heavily, angrier than he’d been in years. He stood in the hallways that was empty except for Paddy and Leo who’d remained backstage for the show, Zayn already heading back to his dressing room to shower. They’d be showering at the venue before catching a plane to Toronto, the boys wanting to be comfortable for the flight.

 

When Liam came off stage, Louis gave him the meanest look he could muster up (which was equivalent to an adorable little kid trying to look upset, which… was essentially what he was).

 

“Why are you so mean to me? You hurt my feelings.” Louis said to Liam, arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

 

Liam looked hesitantly at the boy, wishing for Harry to hurry the hell up and get off stage. He knew what a pending temper tantrum looked like, and this was bound to be a nasty one.

 

“Lou, babe, I wasn’t trying to be mean to you. I just thought you looked cute and didn’t know if you knew you were spilling, it wasn’t a big deal,” Liam said with his hands up, trying to placate the boy.

 

Liam was thankful to see Harry walking off stage, breathing heavily. He had no idea what he was walking into.

 

“But you were mean to me! You didn’t make me feel good. I thought you were my friend,” Louis accused, his hurt showing more than his anger.

 

Harry walked up next to Liam as the dom began to speak.

 

“Like I said, Lou, I didn’t try to hurt your feelings. I’m really sorry that I did that, but that wasn’t my intention. Can you accept my apology?” Liam asked patiently, just wanting this to end. Sophia and Nick hurriedly walked up, having seen the whole thing from the floor they knew that it was bound to be an interesting conversation.

 

Louis couldn’t help it. He burst. “No! You’re a- you’re a stupid meanie! I hate you! Don’t talk to me ever again, we aren’t friends anymore,” Louis shouted, pushing Liam’s chest before stomping away.

 

Obviously, Liam wasn’t hurt by the shove physically, but emotionally? That really hurt.

 

“Let’s go get you showered, love,” Sophia said quietly, hooking her elbow with her dom’s.

 

Nick and Harry were still standing there, mouths parted in shock. They definitely did not expect that from their little boy.

 

“Well, the inevitable is here,” Harry said slowly, starting to walk back to his and Louis’ dressing room.

 

“Fuck,” Nick muttered, “I was hoping we’d never have to punish him. Don’t think I can do it, honestly.”

 

The men dreaded the conversation they had to have with their little boy, but hopefully it would help clear the thoughts that were so obviously dancing around in his head. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, please comment!! your comments mean the world to me. 
> 
> OFFICIAL TWITTER: @needaherofic :) I love talking to you guys on twitter, you're wonderful human beings.
> 
> spring semester started this past week, so I am absolutely in over my head, the reason why this chapter took so long to post. I want them all to be perfect, so I'll be trying as hard as I can to post them quickly while maintaining quality.
> 
> hope yall have a marvelous weekend! :)


	18. Chapter 18

Once back in the dressing room, Louis angrily stripped out of his sticky, juice covered clothes before sitting back on the couch with his arms crossed, pouting angrily at the wall. He couldn’t believe that Liam would make fun of him like that; he thought they were friends! Louis never wanted to see Liam again, if he was being honest. He didn’t look up as the door opened, not wanting to talk to anyone about anything.

 

Nick and Harry had to hold their laughter back at the sight of Louis sitting in only his diaper, hair matted down by juice. They knew that this wasn’t a time for laughter, that would only enforce the idea that the boy’s actions were okay.

 

“Louis, please get up and get in the shower, we only have thirty minutes before we leave,” Nick said calmly. The little didn’t move from the couch, only shaking his head in response.

 

“Louis, you have one minute to get into the shower or you’re going to be in more trouble than you already are,” Nick warned.

 

Louis couldn’t believe that he was getting in trouble in the first place; he didn’t even do anything besides show Liam he hurts his feelings! How was that fair? He stood up with a huff, walking into the adjoining bathroom. Nick and Harry shared a look before following the boy in, knowing that a huge tantrum was surely on the way. They could only hope that they’d be in Toronto before it happened.

 

“All right, love, let’s get in the shower with daddy,” Harry said gently. He wanted to get the boy showered before they talked, so he’d wait to mention punishment until the boy was all clean. When he saw that Louis was just standing there with his arms crossed unmoving, Harry bent down to untape his diaper, putting a large hand on his back to push him into the shower. Louis was largely immobile when he was in the shower, standing there pouting and letting his daddy do everything. Harry moved as quickly as possible, washing both Louis and himself in record time before shutting the shower off.

 

Once they were dressed, Louis in a night diaper and sleeper, adamantly refusing to wear sweats and a sweater, they were sat back on the couch.

 

“Do you want to explain what happened tonight?” Harry asked, looking at the still angry little boy who had pushed himself to the opposite end of the couch, far away from his daddies.

 

Louis shook his head before saying, “Liam is stupid and mean, I didn’t do anything!”

 

“Louis, you know it’s not nice to call people mean names,” Nick admonishes. He doesn’t have time to say anything more as Alberto knocks on the door, calling out that it’s time to go.

 

“Once we get on the plane you’re going to have some quiet time by yourself to think about what you did wrong. As soon as we land we’ll have a talk together and see what you came up with,” Harry says. Nick gives him a proud smile that makes his heart sing. Harry couldn’t help but feel a bit out of his depth being stern with their little boy; it wasn’t something he ever wanted to have to do.

 

Louis was sat in his own row on the plane, given a pacifier, blanket, Lacy, and Dusty. Nick and Harry instructed no one to sit by him, hoping that the hour plane ride would allow for the boy to understand what he did wrong. Keyword: hoping.

 

The little pointedly does not think about what he did on the plane ride, only getting more upset at being alone. It wasn’t fair for him to get punished while Liam was able to hangout with everyone else; all of this was his fault, not Louis’! Maybe it wasn’t very nice of him to throw a brightly colored drink at Liam, but… he deserved it. If he wasn’t laughing at Louis, then none of this would’ve happened. He didn’t understand why his daddies didn’t get that.

 

Once they landed, his daddy walked over to him with a small smile.

 

“Hi love, are you ready to go to the hotel?” Harry asked, bending down to unbuckled Louis.

 

Louis just looked at him, pout still present on his face even with his pacifier in. Harry didn’t let his annoyance show on his face; he knew the little boy was grumpy and tired, but him being rude was something that irked Harry. Quite honestly, it made him want to cry. He didn't want his little boy to be upset with him, and all signs were pointing to that right now. After standing up, Louis walked over to where Alberto was standing, getting the man to pick him up and place him on his hip. Nick and Harry were more amused than anything, wondering how long the boy thought he could continue the silent treatment.

 

Everyone praised the gods above that there were no fans at the airport or the hotel, making it easy for them to check in and go up to their rooms. Once the door was shut, Louis felt his stomach sink a bit. He couldn’t help but be scared, he didn’t know what his daddies were going to do. No matter how much he loved them, he was still worried that they would hurt him. It was impossible not to be, not when he spent most of his life being hurt by the person who was supposed to love him more than anyone else. He sat on the couch where his papa told him to, and looked down, waiting for them to speak.

 

“Can you tell daddy and I what you thought about during your quiet time?”

 

Louis answered, “That Liam is a meanie and I never want to talk to him again.”

 

Nick took the answer in stride, expecting something like that from his sweet little boy. He wasn’t sure that Louis really understood that what he did was wrong, but his stubbornness was not appreciated.

 

“Do you think that throwing juice at him was nice? Or telling him that you hated him? That really hurt his feelings,” Harry questioned.

 

Louis finally looked up, indignant. “Why are you being nice to Liam and not me? You’re both meanies too!”

 

“Louis, it isn’t nice to talk to your daddy and I like that. Now, you can apologize to Liam right now and you can go to bed, or you can go to the naughty corner and have some more time to think.”

 

“Take a minute to think before answering, love.” Harry suggested, not wanting the boy to make a rash decision, because he knew what the answer would be. Nick gave him an exasperated look, Harry answering with a sheepish smile and shrug. He couldn’t help but want the best for his baby, and in this case that was no punishment.

 

Louis, in all of his anger, did not take a minute to think about it, surprising absolutely no one. Their little boy was usually shy and bashful, but this clearly wasn’t the case when he was upset and irritated. The daddies just wished for tour to end quickly, it was bringing out the worst in their sweet little boy.

 

“No! I’m never talked to Liam again, he’s a meanie.” Louis said resolutely, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“I’m sad that that was your answer, Louis, because now you’re going to sit in the naughty corner for a bit and do some thinking. You will apologize to Liam, until you do there are no Guppies toys or TV time.” Nick said before moving over to Louis, picking him up off the couch. Louis let out a noise at being picked up suddenly, stiffening in his papa’s arms. He wanted nothing more than to melt into the man’s touch, but he couldn’t. He was mad at his papa. He couldn’t forget that as soon as he was touched by him.

 

Nick put Louis down in the corner of the room, allowing Harry the liberty of placing a pillow on the floor for the boy to sit on.

 

“All right, you’re going to sit with your nose to the corner until you’re ready to apologize to papa, Liam, and I. It’s not nice to hurt our friends feelings, and it hurts papa’s feelings as well as mine when you call us mean. Papa and I will be here when you’re ready,” Harry explained, making sure the boy was facing the corner before walking away. He hoped that Louis’ resolve would break quickly, as it was almost midnight now and Harry just wanted to put him to bed so they wouldn’t have another day full of grumpiness.

 

Louis didn’t give in, though. He only got madder as he stared into the corner, bored out of his mind. His anger morphed into sadness, the boy unable to help the tears that rolled down his face, soft whimpers coming out of his mouth. He couldn’t help but be devastated by the thought of his daddies not wanting him anymore, it was something he’d never be able to bounce back from. Reasonably, he knew that no one had ever stayed in his life, so why would they be any different? But he wanted them to be different, he never wanted anything more than to wake up to his daddies pressing kisses on his face, giving him baths, making him cookies… loving him like no one else had before.

 

In the bathroom, Harry and Nick were getting ready for bed when the sound of Louis crying echoed through the tiled room. Harry looked at Nick with pleading eyes, wanting to go cuddle up his little boy and kiss it all better. In the best of times, Harry praised Nick for bringing self-control to the relationship, but now? Harry wanted him to be just as willing to go grab Louis as he was. But he wasn’t. Nick leveled Harry with a stern look, shaking his head.

 

“He’s got to learn, babe. No one’s ever taught him what’s wrong and right before; as his daddies that’s our job, we can’t mess it up,” Nick said. When he put it like that Harry understood, but it didn’t make it any less hard to do. Louis’ cries stopped a short while later, much to Harry’s relief. An hour and a half later, when it was nearing two, Nick went to check on Louis and see where his head was at. When he knelt down beside him, he saw the little asleep sitting up, head bobbing up and down with his breaths. Nick carefully picked him up, bringing him over to the bed to lie him down. He took his time unzipping the little boy’s sleeper, not wanting him to wake up, but needing to check if he needed a diaper change. A rash was the last thing that any of them needed at this stressful point in the tour. After dressing the boy in a clean diaper, he tucked Louis into the middle of the bed next to where Harry was laying. Nick couldn’t help but smile as Louis curled into Harry’s chest, the daddy pressing gentle kisses onto his forehead.

 

Nick woke up early the next morning, taking the quiet time to shower and just breathe before having to confront the ridiculously huge elephant in the room. He hoped that the morning would bring a change in Louis’ attitude, but if last night was anything to go by, he knew that wouldn’t happen. The boy just needed to get his emotions out, and unlike a rational adult who would talk their problems out, he reacted in the only way he knew how. By screaming, crying, and being grumpy. Nick and Harry could handle a little bit of grumpiness; they could handle anything that would make their little boy feel better. He just hoped that they could resolve everything by that night. Nick had planned a romantic dinner out with Harry, and Sophia had already volunteered (read: begged) to be able to watch Louis, and he did not want to cancel it under any circumstances.

 

Nick heard Harry enter the bathroom to brush Louis’ teeth, speaking softly to a non-responsive Louis. He came out of the bathroom after they left, dressed for the day.

 

“How is my little cub doing today?” Nick asked quietly. Harry was on the phone rattling off a room service order, leaving Louis bundled up on the couch.

 

The little looked up at Nick with squinted blue eyes, “Not good. Papa and daddy are meanies.”

 

Nick suppressed the sigh he wanted to let out. “Louis, that’s not very nice. Please apologize to papa or you’re going to get your toys taken away.”

 

Louis felt the rage he tried to push down build up inside of him. How dare his papa try and take his toys away! They’re his! He didn’t even warrant the man with a reply, simply narrowing his gaze at him even more.

 

“Looks like we’re taking away some toys. Let’s start with our guppy figurines, hm?” Nick said, heading over to the bag designated to carry Louis’ toys. He leaned down, grabbing them from the bag and placing them on top of the tall set of drawers, knowing Louis wouldn’t be able to reach them.

 

Louis’ eyes filled with tears, he didn’t understand why his daddies were just punishing him instead of just leaving. Why prolong the inevitable? It didn’t make much sense to him.

 

Harry put down the phone, raising his eyebrows at Nick.

 

“We are going to get our toys taken away one by one until we learn how to be nice to our daddies and friends,” Nick said. “Daddy and I are going out to dinner tonight, so you need to apologize to Liam before we leave. Sophia really wants to play with you while we’re gone.”

 

What Louis made of his papa’s words was that they were leaving him. They finally had enough of him; they no longer wanted a bad boy. It’s okay. He was fine with it. Really, he understood. His mum told him over and over while he was growing up, he’d heard it enough to know that it was true. No one would ever want Louis, he was a no good little boy.

 

Louis was silent, not replying to Nick’s words. He continued in the same fashion all day, not saying a single word through breakfast, but allowing his daddy to feed him. He was quiet during his bath, sitting unmoving, ignoring the toys his papa tried to entice him with. The afternoon continued in the same way, Louis lying in bed watching his favorite Disney movies, not speaking. Louis had nothing to say; he was resigned to his fate, he understood that they were leaving. He didn’t know why his daddies needed to pretend, why they would say they were only going out to dinner instead of just telling him they were figuring out how to leave him. He may be a little, but he understood what it was like when someone wanted to leave him.

 

He napped for the better part of the afternoon, waking up feeling quite little. His emotions took precedence over rational thought, clouding his mind with the feelings of being upset and lonely. He couldn’t help the fact that his papa and daddy wanted to leave him, nor could he help the way he felt about them leaving… completely and utterly devastated.

 

Harry heard the boy’s whimpering from where he was getting ready for dinner in the bathroom, quickly heading out. He felt guilty as he prayed that the boy wasn’t going to cause a scene; he really just needed a night alone with Nick. They would’ve brought Louis if they knew he’d enjoy it, but… he was never one who much enjoyed sitting still.

 

“Hi angel, are you feeling better?” Harry cooed, sitting down on the bed. He was a bit taken back by the way that Louis crawled onto his lap, clinging to him. Taking it in stride, Harry rubbed the little boy’s back, humming to him softly.

 

Louis wanted to scream, let his daddy, and the whole world quite frankly, know how he was feeling. But he didn’t. He simply stayed in the man’s lap, unmoving. Knowing that his daddy and papa were “going out to dinner” (read: leaving), he would get all the love he could while he had time to.

 

Harry held Louis in his arms until Nick was exiting the bathroom. “Pumpkin, let’s go cuddle with papa while daddy finishes getting ready,” Harry suggests, standing up and transferring the little boy to the taller man’s arms.

 

Nick moves into the other room to sit on the couch, situating Louis in his lap so that the boy’s head is resting comfortably on his neck.

 

“Louis, I need you to be a good listener for me. Can you do that?” Nick asks.

 

The little nods minutely, stomach feeling queasy in anticipation of what the older man was going to say.

 

“Papa and daddy are going out for a little bit, and you’re going to have some time to play with Sophia. Won’t that be fun?” Nick asked, making sure to sound enthusiastic. He knew how well Louis responded when he and Harry used babyish tones, so he put on his best smile and spoke to the boy.

 

Louis looked up with tear filled eyes, nodding his head. He was going to miss his daddies.

 

Nick pressed kisses to Louis’ forehead, whispering to him soothingly. Harry rushed out of the bathroom, looking at Nick with panicked eyes.

 

“I missed three calls from the driver, the traffic is awful and only going to get worse. We have to go right now, babe,” Harry said, looking down and trying to put on his left shoe without crashing into the dresser.

 

Nick stood Louis up, quickly walking over to grab his wallet. “All right, babe, let’s head out. Dale should be ready, let me go let him know we’re going and get Sophia to come in here.”

 

Louis was a bit shaken up by the men’s franticness, wondering what the rush was. Time was never a huge concern to him, nor would it be to any other little boy. But to Nick and Harry who had booked the chef’s table at Alinea, time was everything. They had one night out, and they didn’t want to ruin it or piss off the chef. They definitely did not want to piss off the chef.

 

Shifting from side to side, Louis wanted to mention that his diaper was wet, but didn’t. He didn’t even get one last diaper change, he thought sadly. It was okay. He would learn how to change his own diaper; he’s done it before, he could do it again.

 

Sophia came into the room behind a flustered Nick who was speaking rapidly. “Yeah, Harry just changed him,” He didn’t, Louis thought. “just call down to room service for a warm bottle of milk before bedtime which is around 8 or 8:30. He’ll be tired I’m sure, what else… he loves belly rubs, he can only watch Netflix ages 0 to 2 or 2 to 4, but you can pick anything off of there. He l-“

 

“Nick, I’ve got it! Don’t worry, you’re late, I promise we’ll be fine,” Sophia said, placing a delicate hand on the man’s arm.

 

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Dale yelled from the hallway.

 

Harry groaned, rushing over to press a quick peck on Louis’ lips. The men tried not to make a big deal out of leaving, knowing that Louis would get worked up if they spent time doting on him. It was best to make it as little of an affair as possible; Sophia’d quickly distract him.

 

Their thinking was completely lost on Louis, though. He couldn’t help but be appalled at his own actions as he watched his daddies rush out with barely a kiss and a hug for him. Nothing could fix what he did, but if he could take it back, he would in a second.

 

As soon as the door shut, Sophia took a look at Louis’ trembling lower lip and knew she needed to distract him.

 

“Lou, I bought you a gift, do you want to open it?” She asked, grabbing a gift bag she’d placed near the door when she walked in.

 

Giving her a questioning look, Louis nodded slowly. He couldn’t help but be curious over what she would’ve gotten him; even in his sad state he loved presents. Who could blame him?

 

“Let’s go sit on the couch, love,” Sophia said, guiding him into the other room. The sub handed Louis the gift bag, and he carefully pulled the light blue tissue paper out.

 

Louis let out a pleased gasp at the sight of a huge coloring book that was decorated with all of his favorite Disney characters.

 

“What’s it say?” He asked curiously, excitement growing as he flipped through the pages.

 

“It says Disney coloring mega book! I even got you a big pack of crayons,” Sophia said, grabbing the 500 pack of Crayola crayons from the bottom of the bag.

 

“Thank you, thank you!” Louis said, shyly giving a smiling Sophia a hug. “Can I color now, please?”

 

“Of course you can, love,” The woman said.

 

Louis settled onto the ground, placing his coloring book and crayons onto the table. He opened the book up to an outline of Merlin and Nemo and decided to draw it. His heart ached as he saw the happy daddy and little fish together; he’d never have that again. Sophia sat on the couch, concentrating on her phone. She had always been very nice to Louis, even when she thought he was a gad. Maybe she’d let him stay with her and Liam once he apologized to Liam. But… he’d have to be able to do that first. He wondered where Liam was; he was ready to say sorry, maybe it’d make his daddies happy enough to come home.

 

“Where’s Liam?” Louis asked softly, not looking up from where he was coloring.

 

“Him and Niall went out to eat, they should be home soon! I know he really wants to be your friend again,” Sophia said gently.

 

“I’ll be his friend again, he was a meanie to me, but I wasn’t very nice to him either,” Louis admitted.

 

“You’re a very good boy to admit that, Louis. I know it’ll make Liam very happy,” Sophia praised. Liam was ridiculously upset all night, only soothed by his sub promising him she’d talk to Louis the next day. He had absolutely no idea how to deal with his friend as a little; it was never something he’d dealt with, and he felt as though he was failing Louis miserably.

 

Quiet permeated the room after that, Louis content to focus on his coloring. His thoughts were getting more and more frantic, the little people in his brain that usually told him to remain calm were running around, heads on fire, panicking. The situation he was in was not a good one; his daddies were gone, he had a full tour left with his daddy. How was he supposed to act? The best part of having daddies was not having to answer hard questions for himself. His daddies knew what was best for him; they were there to help him with his scary thoughts and the difficult things he was unsure about. His daddy was there to give him a kiss and tell him how good he was before he went on stage; his papa giving him tummy rubs after a scary dream.

 

By the time he heard Liam and Niall’s voices, he was wound up tighter than a string. He couldn’t even think about how he was going to say sorry to Liam, he didn’t have a time.

 

“Hey Soph, hey Lou. Where are Nick and Harry?” Niall asked.

 

“They went out,” Liam said, sitting on the couch and giving Sophia a sweet kiss.

 

“What?” Niall said, sounding shocked. “They actually left?”

 

“They did, surprising, I know,” Sophia said with a small laugh. They were all shocked by the fact that Nick and Harry would trust anyone with Louis with how protective they were over him.

 

All it took was for Louis to hear Sophia confirm that they left him before he burst into loud, body-wrenching sobs. The three were momentarily stunned, compelled into action by the way that Louis was banging his head on the wooden table he was just coloring on.

 

“No no no, Lou, don’t hurt yourself babe. It’s okay,” Sophia soothed, getting down on the floor next to him and placing her forearms in front of his head so he couldn’t hurt himself again.

 

Louis didn’t answer her, only sobbing harder at someone who wasn’t his daddy or his papa trying to make him feel better.

 

Sophia rubbed his back, whispering to him that it was going to be okay. Her words were fruitless, his sobbing too loud to his own ears for him to even hear.

 

“Don’t call them, I’ve got it under control,” Sophia said quietly, turning around and looking at the useless men behind her. Niall and Liam were simply standing there, mouths open wide enough to catch flies. Sophia hoped Liam would get it together before they had kids of their own.

 

Having it under control was definitely an overstatement; Louis continued to cry, curling in on himself.

 

“What’s going on? What’d you do to him?” Alberto asked, storming into the room, eyes frantic.

 

“Nothing, dude, he just started crying,” Niall said, putting his arms up.

 

Alberto sighed. Harry and Nick insisted he take the night off instead of watching Louis; this was why he didn’t leave, though, the off chance that his boy might need him.

 

“All right, get out, the lot of you. Get some warm milk in a bottle from room service, first. I’ll take care of him.”

 

Sophia rolled her eyes as Niall and Liam quickly scrambled out of the room, taking it upon herself to call for some milk.

 

“Here we go, bud, I’ve got you,” Alberto said, gently scooping a still crying Louis up off of the floor.

 

The boy’s cries picked up once he was in the man’s arm. Louis craved to be held and comforted, but not by the man that was holding him. He wanted his daddies more than anything.

 

Louis didn’t know how much time had passed, all he could think of being his daddies. He was immersed in his own anguish until he felt a bottle being pressed to his lips. He immediately started sucking, closing his eyes at the taste of the warm milk.

 

“That’s it, there you go, bud,” Alberto said in his gruff voice, watching as Louis drank the milk. Louis wasn’t even coherent enough to have heard his quiet conversation with Sophia, the sub pouring some baby safe sleep medicine into the bottle that they’d found in Harry’s toiletry case.

 

Tears were still silently falling down Louis’ face as he drank, the boy unable to not feel a bit better as he sucked on the warm bottle. He was half asleep by the time he finished the bottle, a few minutes of Alberto walking around and rocking in his arms enough to put him completely to sleep.

 

He was a father by no means, but he knew enough about how to take care of an infant to check Louis’ diaper. Alberto let out a gasp as he looked at Louis’ diaper that had soaked into the fabric of his dark sleeper. He headed over to where Louis’ suitcase was so he could grab a diaper and new sleeper for the boy. Neglected was a word that no one would use to describe Louis, but the fact that his diaper was left unchecked to the point where it would leak was worrisome. He wondered what the hell had happened from the time they arrived at the hotel late last night until now. Once Louis was changed and tucked into bed, Alberto went to watch TV on the couch, waiting for Nick and Harry to come back.

He didn’t have to wait long for Nick and Harry to come back, the clock having barely struck 10pm by the time they walked through the door. Alberto got up from where he was seated, walking to the door to shush them in case they would make noise. An emotional, cranky, tired Louis was the last thing anyone on earth needed.

 

Once in the living room, Nick asked, “Where is Sophia?”

 

“Louis had quite the freak out, I sent them away. She put some of the sleeping medicine you had in your bag for Louis into a bottle for him. I didn’t want to ruin your night by calling and asking if it was okay, so I apologize for doing that without your consent.”

 

Harry let out a long sigh, “It’s okay, I wish you would’ve called us, though. Thanks for watching him, we really appreciate it.”

"Of course, that's what I'm here for. I'm not sure what happened, but his diaper leaked onto his pajamas. I just changed him, but his skin was looking a little red, so just watch out for that."

 

"Thanks, we definitely will," Nick said. He felt like a shit father, someone else having to tell him that his helpless baby's diaper changes were being neglected.

 

Alberto gave them both a salute before heading out.

 

“Should we wake him up?” Harry asked, eyes wide. His stomach was crawling with nervousness; he felt completely out of his depth with this.

 

“Not directly, but maybe if we make a little noise while we’re getting ready for bed he’ll wake up? If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t. It can wait until morning,” Nick suggested. Harry nodded, feeling a bit better at the older man taking the lead. For the millionth time, he thought about how lost he would be without Nick.

 

Louis did in fact wake up to the sound of a bottle of face wash falling on the floor, letting out a whimper at the unidentified noise. His head felt fuzzy, it was dark, and he didn’t remember falling asleep. He was terrified at the noises he heard, not knowing who was in his room. In the bathroom, another clattering noise was made, this time Nick slamming the toilet seat down a little harder than necessary. Louis started crying in earnest, absolutely frightened by the prospect that a stranger was in the room. Rational, adult thought would’ve reminded him that they have guards that he trusts with his entire life stationed in the hallway that would never let someone on their floor.

 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Harry asked, rushing out of the bathroom the second he heard Louis crying. He flicked on the lights, plucking the room from the dark state it was just in. Louis cried harder at the sight of his daddy; he knew he had to be dreaming.

 

“It’s okay, little cub, daddy and I are here,” Nick soothed from where he was walking into the room. The men climbed onto the bed, sandwiching a hysterically crying and sleepy Louis in between them.

 

“You left Louis,” The little choked out, voice high and young sounding.

 

“Daddy and I were gone for just a little bit, angel, now we’re back with you,” Nick crooned, petting down Louis’ messy hair.

 

“No, you leave forever,” Louis cried. He was confused, why were they still here? They left, Niall said it himself!

 

“Baby, we’re right here. Papa and I just went out for dinner, but we’re back,” Harry explained patiently. It was clear their baby was panicked, disoriented, and feeling little, and that added up to a hysterical Louis.

 

“M-mumma said everyone leaves. I was a bad boy, so you leave,” Louis attempted to explain. Nothing was harder to do than explain anything when he was feeling little; his mind was so cloudy, all he wanted to do was cuddle and sleep. He knew he couldn’t, though, or he would be a complete wreck. The thought of his daddy and papa leaving was eating him up inside, and if they were here now, maybe he could convince them to stay.

 

“Darling, you’re never a bad boy, you’re our best boy, the best little boy in the entire world. You weren’t very nice to Liam, but you’re going to say sorry and then everything will be okay. Daddy and papa aren’t going to leave because of one naughty little thing, we’re going to stay with you forever. Because we love you,” Nick said carefully, holding Louis’ chin up so they were making eye contact.

 

“Ev-everyone wants to leave,” Louis said indignantly, wondering why they didn’t understand.

 

“We are never going away, love. A daddy’s love is forever and ever and ever. Papa and I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens,” Harry said, unable to stop himself from choking up. It was hard for him to hear the type of rhetoric that Louis had grown up hearing and believing. The hatred he had towards himself and unwavering belief that everyone who came into his life would leave was so deeply ingrained in his mind that Harry didn’t know if he and Nick would ever be able to fix it. But they could try.

 

Louis’ tears came to a halt when he heard his daddy’s voice shaking. He looked up to the man and saw tears on his face and an immediate sense of concern washed over him.

 

“Why are you crying, daddy?” Louis asked innocently, mind already taken off of the heavy subject at hand at the sight of the man’s tears.

 

“Because I love you very much, pumpkin, I love you more than all of the grains of sand in the world, I love you more than you love Mcdonald’s French fries, Harry said, unable to stop crying.

 

“I love Mcdonald’s a lot! Are you sure you love me more than that, daddy?” Louis asked, eyes full of wonder at the prospect.

 

“I pinky promise that I do, baby,” Harry said, the “I wish you realized that” left off, but Nick heard it loud and clear. The dom wished he could stop crying, but it was like the dam that had been built higher and higher every time Louis made a self-deprecating comment or allusion to his past had crumbled down.

 

“I love you more, daddy, don’t cry,” Louis said, climbing into the man’s lap and pressing a snot and tear-filled kiss to his lips. Harry picked him up, placing the boy on his hip and holding him close. Louis rested his head on the bigger man’s shoulder, letting out a pleased sigh at the comfortable and familiar position. The daddy began to sing a quiet song, bouncing Louis as he walked around the room. He needed this; he needed to have his little boy close in his arms, he needed the chance to give him the comfort and love he deserved.

 

Nick sat back and let Harry have a little time with Louis, after their conversation at dinner he knew how much the boy’s insecurities were breaking his heart. Harry brought a sleeping Louis who had a pacifier bobbing between his lips back into the room a little while later, no evidence of Harry’s crying apparent on his face. Louis was tucked in between the men, both of them sleeping a bit closer to the boy than usual.

 

They knew that they couldn’t snap their fingers and fix Louis’ insecurities and quell his fears, but God, they’d love if they could. All they could do was continue to love him and show him they’d never leave, and hopefully one day he’d believe it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT EDITED YET!! WILL DELETE WHEN I EDIT :) i just wanted to get it up because i've been promising my twitter friends i would for a while now.
> 
> here you are!! angst city. i hope you enjoyed! as always, please comment your thoughts/suggestions/predictions, i love hearing from you all!
> 
> I know that a lot of you wanted spanking, but with Louis' past and insecurities/hesitance to having daddies, it isn't realistic and would destroy someone in his state. i am sure people will be disappointed with me, but i know tons of age plays that have spanking that I can point you to if you'd like to read that. I can write a one shot once i'm done with this fic in this verse that has spanking, but i will not be putting it into this fic-- at least in the foreseeable future. 
> 
> @needaherofic is the official twitter, drop by and we can chat :) have a marvelous day, friends! see you soon.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello!

Louis woke up to his thighs and private bits on fire. Literally. His eyes snapped open and he let out a pained moan before starting to sob. Shaking hands failed to unzip his sleeper, but another pair of bigger, steady hands covered his own.

 

“What’s wrong baby?” Harry asked, quickly waking up at the wailing of his baby boy.

 

“Hurts,” Louis choked out, now yanking at the material of his sleeper as if he was trying to rip it off his body.

 

“Let daddy help you, angel, let’s see what’s wrong,” Nick soothed in a gruff voice as Harry unzipped the boy’s pajamas. The men had to stop themselves from cussing at the sight of the inflamed skin that was revealed once Harry had untaped Louis’ diaper.

 

“Oh, my poor little ducky. I bet that hurts, hm? Daddy and papa will make it feel all better, let’s get you in a nice warm bath, angel. Daddy’s going to call nana and ask what special tricks she has to make ouchies feel better,” Harry cooed sympathetically. Louis was still sniffling and crying and in so much pain that he didn’t want to move.

 

“Nana,” Louis whimpered softly. He knew she would be able to help him, she always made him feel good.

 

“I’ll go start the bath, loves,” Nick said, standing up and heading into the bathroom.

 

Harry FaceTimed Anne, praying that she would pick up.

 

“Hi love, what’s wrong?” Anne asked when she picked up; smile immediately turning into a look of concern at Harry’s face.

 

“Lou has a rash, Nick and I aren’t sure what to do,” Harry admitted.

 

“Is he with you? If you show me the severity of it I can see what would be best to do,” Anne said.

 

“Yeah, he’s right here. Baby, I’m just going to show nana your rash, then we’re going to get into the bath,” Harry promised. He put the camera over Louis’ private bits, the boy letting out a displeased noise as he did.

 

“Let me see my sweet baby,” Anne said a few seconds later. Harry flipped the camera so that Anne could see Louis and Louis could see her.

 

“Nana, it hurts,” Louis whimpered, eyes red and glassy.

 

“My poor baby boy, nana’s here. Daddy and papa are going to give you a nice warm bath and you’ll feel a lot better, I promise,” Anne said, attempting to soothe the crying boy on the other side of the screen.

 

“That’s right, little love, let’s get your teeth brushed and then we can get into the warm bath,” Nick said, walking out of the bathroom, face washed and teeth brushed.

 

“Love my nana,” Louis said, pressing a kiss to the screen.

 

“I love you so much, sweetness. Your daddies will take very good care of you,” Anne said, blowing kisses back to Louis.

 

Nick carefully picked Louis up, cradling him in his arms so that his skin was left untouched and not rubbing anything. Once Louis’ teeth were brushed, Nick gently put him into the tub. Louis let out a pained cry as his irritated skin touched the water, but quickly felt better as soon as his entire body was submerged in water.

 

Louis put his fingers in his mouth, sucking on one hand while playing with his favorite ship with the other. He barely noticed Nick washing his hair, the ship fascinating him regardless of how many times he’d already played with it.

 

“Papa’s going to wash your body now, love,” Nick said, soaping up the washcloth.

 

“No papa, no no no,” Louis said, taking his fingers out of his mouth so he could protest loudly.

 

Before Nick had the chance to reply, much to his relief, Harry walked into the room.

 

“Hi angel, guess what?” Harry asked in an excited voice.

 

Much like a toddler would, Louis forgot exactly what he was protesting against at the first thought of his daddy having something to share with him.

 

“What?” Louis asked curiously, turning to focus his attention on his daddy where he was walking towards the tub.

 

“Nana told me the secret to getting you feeling all better, you want to know what it is?” Harry asked. Nick took the distraction as a chance to start washing Louis’ body, moving gently and quickly.

 

“Daddy, just tell me! I’m a good secret keeper, promise,” Louis held out his pinky, eyes wide with excitement. Harry pressed a kiss to Louis’ wet hair, endeared by his cuteness, then locked his pinky with Louis’.

 

“Once you’re done with your bath and all dried off, you don’t have to put clothes on at all! We can just sit and watch guppies or doc without any clothes on, won’t that be silly and fun?”

 

“No clothes at all? Not even a diaper?” Louis asked, voice rising as he continued to speak. His daddies always made him wear clothes!

 

“Nope, not even a diaper! It’ll make your booboos feel a lot better, nana promises,” Harry said.

 

“Okay, silly daddy,” Louis said with a giggle. “Want to watch Cinderella, not guppies.”

 

“Of course, love,” Harry said with a smile. The boy had just started watching the Disney princess movies during tour, and he absolutely loved them. He had one of their guards go out to buy every single Disney movie they could find, just so Louis would be able to watch all of them. Yeah, he was definitely wrapped around his little boy’s finger.

 

True to their word, once Louis was out of the shower he was set up on the couch all naked. He fussed a bit as Nick put on the rash cream Alberto was more than happy to go out and buy, but once he was done the boy was pleased. They turned the heat up in the room so that he wouldn’t be cold, and placed towels under him in case he had an accident. If he did, they weren’t worried; they knew he was completely out of control of his body functions at this point, and a little mess didn’t worry them.

 

“Baba for breakfast, please,” Louis said as he brushed the soft fur of Dusty. He loved having his friends by his side to talk to. Lacy and Dusty weren’t wearing clothes either, and that made him feel a lot better, knowing he wouldn’t be alone in his nudity if someone walked in. He turned his attention back to the movie. He loved the princesses, they were so pretty and had such nice voices. Sometimes he wished he could sing as well as them.

 

“Of course, pumpkin. Papa called down for breakfast for us and we’ll all eat together,” Harry said from where he was getting ready for the day in the bathroom.

 

An array of breakfast items were pushed into the room by Nick, but Louis only had eyes for Harry who was holding his beloved bottle.

 

“Do you want to feed yourself, love?” Harry asked as he sat down on the couch, unsure of where Louis’ head was at after last night.

 

“You, daddy,” Louis said as he climbed into his daddy’s lap, no concern for his own nakedness.

 

“Of course, I love feeding my little boy,” Harry cooed, settling a pleased Louis into his lap. Louis was mostly asleep as he finished sipping his bottle, Harry quickly burping him and settling him back on his lap while he rocked him to sleep. He knew that Louis had a rough night, so they’d let him sleep. Once the boy was fully asleep, Harry picked him up. In their freaky telepathic way, Nick got the memo to lay out the towels all across the couch before Harry placed the boy down, grabbing a pillow from the bed to put under his head. They moved their breakfast into the sitting room, sitting at the large wooden table as they ate.

 

“When are you leaving again, love?” Harry asked as he ate a bite of yogurt.

 

“Right after the New York show I’m flying out, I hate being wasteful and using a private jet, but it gives me an extra day here.”

 

“It’ll only be four more shows after that, then we’ll all be together again. Home stretch,” Harry said, not sure if he was trying to console Nick or himself.

 

Nick smiled as he thought about the conversation that he needed to have with Louis once they were in Europe, already anticipating the boy’s reaction.

 

“I can’t wait, love. Then you and Lou are all mine; no more shows, no more appearances, just cuddles and cartoon mermaids,” Nick said with a pleased sigh.

 

“Nothing could be better than that,” Harry agreed with a kiss to Nick’s lips.

 

When Louis woke up a few hours later it was time to leave for the stadium, Nick being as careful as possible as he put Louis into his diaper. He was admittedly feeling a lot less pained after a few hours of the cream setting in, happy that medicine was so effective in this day in age.

 

Louis made a whimpering noise from where he was sitting on the couch as Harry brought over a pair of his favorite soft jeans to put on. Louis ended up being dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, the back flap of his diaper visible through the thin material of his shirt. It was a testament to how far in his headspace Louis had become, the way that he no longer cared who saw his diapers or pacifiers. Nothing could make Nick and Harry happier.

 

“All right, little cub, are you listening?” Louis nodded. “If you go potty in your diaper, you have to let daddy or I know right away, even if you’re on stage. We don’t want your booboos to get any worse, okay?”

 

The little gave Nick a slobbery kiss to the cheek in reply, feeling too little to speak. This was how he liked to feel. Only a few more weeks until he could live the way he wanted to; he was unspeakably excited.

 

“Ready to go, lads? How are you doing, Lou?” Alberto asked, leaning down to pick up the suitcases packed near the couch.

 

Louis waved at him shyly, pressing his head to Nick’s shoulder.

 

“We just woke up from our nap, we’re feeling a bit shy,” Nick said softly, rubbing Louis’ back.

 

“Lucky boy, I’d love to have a nap right about now,” Alberto said, chuckling.

 

“Ready to go, darling?” Nick asked, standing himself up. Before he could even ask if Louis wanted to walk or be carried, the little boy was holding his arms out to him, eyes wide as if to say please. Nick cooed as he gently picked him up, careful not to hurt Louis’ bum.

 

They headed down the elevator with Albert and Phil, Harry waiting a few minutes before coming down. The cars were parked in front of their hotel, no back entrance available for them. As they were stepping out of the elevator, Louis put his lips up to Nick’s ear.

 

“Juice,” Louis said, stuttering the word out in a high tone. Nick couldn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed that he waited until they were leaving to ask for a drink as Louis’ pressed a kiss to his cheek before resting his head on his shoulder.

 

“Of course, love. Alberto, can you grab a bottle out of the bag? We’re just going to head into the restaurant to get some juice.”

 

Thanking Alberto, Nick grabbed the bottle and headed into the restaurant. Thankfully it wasn’t busy, the hotel screening reservations made so that fans weren’t allowed into the restaurant. As the fans got smarter, so did the boys’ security team.

 

“Hi sir, what can we get for you?” The hostess asked calmly, having answered their room service orders over the two days they’d stayed there.

 

“Can you just put some apple juice in here, please? Thanks so much,” Nick said. She hurried away quickly, Nick looking up at the sound of a gasp. He saw Louis staring out at something and followed his gaze. He was staring at a couple that had a true child sat in a highchair. Louis’ gaze wasn’t on them, though, it was on the stroller they had sitting next to their table.

 

Louis wanted it. He really, really wanted it. He didn’t know why he did, but he did. He couldn’t quite vocalize what he wanted to say, but thankfully his papa understood. He didn’t know what he’d do without him and daddy.

 

“You want a stroller, love? Daddy and I can push you around and you’ll never have to walk again, you lazy little boy,” Nick joked, pressing kisses all over Louis’ face.

 

The little boy giggled loudly before nodding quickly, “Want. Please.”

 

“Of course, lovey, we can call YSL and we can pick it up tomorrow in New York! Does that sound good?” Nick asked, smiling as the hostess brought Louis’ filled up bottle back to the men.

 

“Here you are, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?” She asked with a smile on her face.

 

“No thank you, have a great day,” Nick said, handing her a twenty-dollar bill he had stashed in his pocket. She thanked him profusely as he walked towards where Alberto and Phil were standing.

 

“The fans are behind gates, the car is pulled up with his car seat facing us,” Alberto said as he saw the pair walk up.

 

“All right, let’s head out,” Nick said, letting out a sympathetic noise when he felt Louis’ legs tighten around his waste, his face tucked into the dip of Nick’s shoulder. Regardless of how visibly uncomfortable Louis was, the fans still screamed loudly as Nick carried him outside, Alberto and Phil standing in front of where Nick was buckling him into his car seat so that there could be no photos taken of him.

 

Nick handed Louis the bottle once they were both seated in the car, Louis holding his bottle with one hand and Nick’s with the other as he waited for his daddy. The juice tasted delicious, the little letting out happy little snuffles as he drank. Nick smiled as he watched Louis drink, using his free hand to wipe the trail of juice that was making its way down his chin.

 

He could remember being eight years old and watching his aunt with her true child and being confused by how someone loved another person enough to not be disgusted by their body fluids and simply loving them enough to help them with anything they needed. But now he understood, he would do anything for Louis, regardless of whether or not a bystander would find it gross. It was a powerful and terrifying feeling to realize that he and Harry essentially held Louis’ life in their hands; he needed them. The little counted on him and Harry to feed him, wash him, change him, dress him, love him, and everything in between. Nothing was scarier, but nothing felt better. This was his purpose in life.

 

The door to the car opened, Harry sliding in besides Nick with a huge smile on his face. Louis’ eyes lit up, untangling his fingers from Nick’s to wave at his daddy, but not quite willing to stop drinking his bottle.

 

“Hi angel, I missed you and papa so much! Did you get some yummy juice?” Harry asked, acting as if he hadn’t seen the pair a short twenty minutes ago.

 

Louis nodded, kicking his little feet happily against the leather seat of the car. Nick couldn’t help but feel endeared by how tiny Louis was, barely 5’5 tall. He was the cutest thing he’d ever seen, honestly.

 

“Darling, do you want me to tell daddy what we’re going to go buy tomorrow?” Nick asked, chuckling as Louis rapidly nodded his head, juice sloshing around in the plastic bottle.

 

“What would that be?” Harry asked, curious.

 

“We’re going to go get a stroller for our sweet boy at YSL! I’m going to call them in a minute,” Nick said, smiling at the happiness in Louis’ eyes.

 

“Is that right? Are you trying to get out of walking, silly boy?” Harry asked with a laugh.

 

Louis stopped drinking and let out a giggle, “No walk, no walk for Lou!”

 

Nick and Harry laughed loudly at that, in love with how little their boy sounded.

 

“We’ll get your stroller, love, it’ll be the coolest stroller ever!” Harry promised, Louis letting out a hum at his words.

 

The drive to the Roger’s Centre was a quick one; Nick and Harry talking to each other quietly while Louis finished drinking his juice. Once in their dressing room, Louis lay down on the couch with his head on Harry’s lap, feeling calm as the man scratched his scalp. His brain felt like mush, and he couldn’t love it more. He didn’t need to think, his daddies would do it for him. He trusted them. When his papa was back, he had a burning question he needed to ask, though. It was something that he’d been thinking about for a while, and now that they were going shopping tomorrow, he figured he’d ask. He was a bit scared, but like he said… he trusted them.

 

“Just got off the phone with YSL, we’re all good to head over there tomorrow!” Nick said, speaking quietly once he saw how relaxed Louis was, moving to sit next to Harry on the couch.

 

Louis shifted out of Harry’s lap begrudgingly, sitting up and turning so he was looking at both his daddy and papa. They both gave him smiles, staring at him and waiting patiently like they knew he had something to ask.

 

“I have a question,” Louis began uncertainly.

 

“Of course, angel. You can ask papa and I anything,” Harry promised.

 

“Are little boys allowed to like princesses? Or are they just for little girls?” Louis asked quietly, eyes wide in innocent worry as he stared at his daddy and papa looking for an answer.

 

“Of course little boys can like princesses, darling! You can like whatever you want to like, princesses are for everyone. Your daddy and I really like the princesses too, and we are old!” Nick joked with a smile. Louis giggled at his papa calling himself old before thinking over what he said.

 

“You mean it, papa? Even though they wear pink?” Louis asked. He’d never been able to watch anything remotely girly growing up, his mom taking care to form him into the man’s man, a dom that was surly, sporty, and interested in everything a typical man would be. But as he’s come to realize during his time with Nick and Louis, there was no such thing as a “typical” dom. Everyone was different, and that’s how life should be.

 

“Definitely, baby. You can like princesses who wear pink, and you can even wear pink if you want! Daddy and I just want you to be happy and that’s all that matters.” Nick knew this was a pivotal moment for Louis; he was becoming set in his role as a little boy, but that wasn’t all there is to it. He needed to realize what he wanted, who he truly was. It was one thing to know you’re a little, but what about his likes, desires, interests? Nick and Harry saw those aspects of Louis finally coming out, and they would do anything they could to cultivate them.

 

Harry was completely comfortable with himself, and it was all thanks to Nick. He met the man when he was first starting out, and never had time to doubt himself or his fashion and life choices. It made him who he was, and he couldn’t thank Nick enough for that. His fingers were crossed that Nick and himself could provide the same confidence to Louis, regardless of what the boy wanted, they’d be there to support him. Even bringing it up provided a huge first step, and Harry couldn’t be any prouder of the little boy. It seemed like they were finally getting somewhere.

 

\----------------------

It was right after meet and greet when they usually headed to dinner that Liam walked into their dressing room. Louis had done a great job at ignoring him, and whined uncomfortably, pressing his face into Nick’s shoulder from where he was sitting on his lap.

 

“No no little cub, no being grouchy. We’re going to talk to Liam before we go to dinner.” Nick said in his stern, ‘papa means business’ tone.

 

“Okay, papa,” Louis said in a small voice, picking his head up off of Nick’s. He knew that he had to listen to his papa, even if he didn’t want to.

 

“Good boy,” Harry praised from where he was washing his face in the bathroom, causing Louis to beam.

 

Liam took that as his cue to walk all the way into the room, dragging a chair so that it was parallel to where Louis was sat on Nick.

 

“Hi Lou. I just wanted to tell you that I’m very sorry for hurting your feelings. I didn’t mean to make fun of you, I just wanted to let you know that you had juice on your face,” Liam apologized, large brown eyes open wide and staring right at Louis. He had had a talk with Harry, freaking out a bit over how to make Louis talk to him again. Harry had to explain that although Louis had more worldly experience than a true toddler, that’s essentially where his mind was at, so he needed to talk to him slowly and gently. Aaaaand Harry came up with an awesome way to put the last nail in the coffin of this fight; he was probably the best daddy ever, but he’d let Liam take claim for the idea.

 

“But you laughed at me! That was mean,” Louis said, a pout present on his lips. Liam quickly looked behind the little to Nick who simply raised his eyebrows as if to say “You’re apologizing to him, not to me”.

 

“I know Lou, and I’m really sorry. I have something really cool to make it up to you with if you come give me a big hug and accept my apology.” Liam couldn’t help caving that quickly; he knew Louis wasn’t going to apologize to him, so he’d just need to pull out the big guns.

 

Louis perked up at that, looking to his papa instead of Liam. “Does he really have a surprise, papa?”

 

“He does, little cub,” Nick said, pressing a kiss to Louis’ forehead.

 

With only a second of thought, Louis popped off Nick’s lap to run and hug a now standing up Liam.

 

“I forgive you Liam. Don’t be a meanie to Sophia, though, she deserves a nice boy.”

 

Liam choked out a bark of laughter, “I won’t be mean to Sophia or you, promise.”

 

“Where’s my surprise?” Louis asked, pulling back from the hug.

 

“You’ll get it later, promise. Just wait a bit and you’ll see,” Liam said with a smile.

 

\------------------

Later turned out to be during their encore when Alberto hefted a fire extinguisher on the stage. Louis’ daddy walked over to him, picking it up off the ground and placing Louis’ hand on the handle, giving him a little smile, pointing his free hand to where Liam was standing.

 

Louis let out a peal of giggles, eyes bright with excitement. Harry pretended to tip toe over where Liam was, all of the fans in the audience screaming the loudest they had all night. Louis was smiling ear to ear, and Harry had never seen him happier on stage. Once they were right where Liam was singing, the man pointedly not turning around (not that Louis had noticed), Harry counted down from three before Louis pressed down on the handle, squirting carbon dioxide all over his bandmate.

 

Liam jumped into the air as the freezing liquid shrouded him, Louis falling onto the floor as he laughed his little head off. Niall took charge of the extinguisher continuing to shoot Liam as Zayn rolled his eyes good-naturedly, shrugging his shoulders before giving up on finishing the song. The fans were having a field day, every person in the audience taking their camera out to capture the moment. Louis was still laughing as he walked off stage, eyes wet from how much he was laughing. Once Harry was off stage Louis ran up to him, standing on his tip toes as he whispered that he needed a change before they left.

 

Soon he was changed and they were in the car, Louis recounting everything that happened as if Nick wasn’t standing right next to the stage the whole show. The man took it in stride, though, loving to hear how excited and happy his little boy was.

 

“Let’s spray Liam every show, daddy!” Louis said, excited by the prospect.

 

“As fun as that would be, I don’t think we can do that, angel,” Harry said with a laugh.

 

“Maybe a few more times would be okay,” Nick said, leaning over Harry to tickle Louis’ stomach. The little boy let out a laugh and clapped his hands together.

 

“Best daddies ever!” Louis said to himself, Nick and Harry smiled at each other as they heard the boy’s mumble.

 

“Ready to get on the plane?” Harry asked softly as they pulled up to the airport. Louis let out a soft whimper as his ears filled with the screams of fans; he didn’t want to have to talk to them.

 

“It’s okay, baby, papa’s going to carry you right onto the plane. Daddy’s going to take some pictures, then he’ll meet us on there once you’re nice and cozy in your pajamas,” Nick said with a smile, unbuckling his seatbelt as the car came to a stop.

 

“Love you daddy,” Louis said, blushing happily as the man pressed a kiss to his lips, letting him know he loved him back.

 

Alberto opened the door to the car, undoing the buckles to Louis’ seat as he had many times now. He stepped aside for Nick to grab the boy and put him on his hip, Louis immediately tucking his head into the man’s shoulder crevice.

 

“I know you’re tired, darling, but will you give everyone a nice smile and wave when we walk by?” Nick asked.

 

“Okay, papa,” Louis said, receiving a kiss on the tip of his nose that made him laugh.

 

Louis waved to the screaming fans as he walked by from where he was sat on his papa’s hip. Alberto and Phil followed close behind the pair, always worried that the barricades would fail under the intense and surprising strength of the pushing fans. Soon they were on the plane, the rest of the boys taking time to talk to fans and take photos. They tried to stop at least once a week, and they couldn’t lie and say they didn’t enjoy it. It was nice being able to meet fan, to hear their stories and see the smiles that are on their faces because of them. It felt good.

 

“All right, let’s get you all change and ready for bed,” Nick said as he stepped onto the plane, grabbing the diaper bag from Alberto’s outstretched hand.

 

“Baba?” Louis asked through a yawn, running a small hand through Nick’s hair.

 

“Of course, lovey, let’s give one of our nice friends a bottle,” Nick said. Thankfully one of the stewardesses was close enough to hear, hurrying over and unzipping the diaper bag as Nick directed her to where a bottle was stored. Once she grabbed it, he headed into the bathroom, smiling at Louis’ soft singing. He opened up the plastic changing table that was attached to the wall, placing down the soft changing mat from the diaper bag before putting Louis down.

 

“What are you singing, baby?” Nick asked curiously.

 

“Hun song, from Mulan. Why does she wanna defeat the Huns? Lou and Caroline always call me Hun, why does she not like me?” Louis asked, confusion and curiosity lacing his tone.

 

Nick choked back his laughter at the adorable boy’s confusion. Louis always asked him and Harry the cutest, most innocent questions and Nick just wanted to post every single thing he said on social media. He refrained himself though, just barely.

 

“Oh no, love, she’s talking about the Huns who were a group of bad men who lived when she did. The Huns are the scary, mean men in the movie, not cute little boys like you.”

 

“Good! I love Mulan, I didn’t want her not to like me,” Louis said brightly, letting out a breath.

 

“Let’s get you out of these clothes and into some pajamas. Daddy just changed you, didn’t he?” Nick asked as he rifled through the diaper bag for pajamas that he knew was in there. It seemed like the contents of the bag grew more and more every day, soon enough they’d need two diaper bags to carry everything they wanted to around. Or they could learn some self-control; the first option definitely sounded more viable.

 

“Wet again, papa,” Louis said through yet another yawn, the boy turning onto his side to get more comfortable.

 

“No sleeping on here, Lou, it’s not comfy! Roll over so papa can get you changed quickly,” Nick said, pulling out changing supplies. He’d change Louis quickly; he knew the boy would be passed out in a matter of minutes.

 

Once Louis was dressed in solely a onesie, saying he was hot and didn’t want anything else on, Nick carried him out to their seats, sitting down with the little boy cuddled on his lap. None of the other boys were on the plane yet, so he figured they had some time. Nick knew very well that Louis hated having to feed himself his bottle, so he’d take the opportunity to hold the boy and the bottle. Something he was going to miss doing very, very much when he headed home in a day.

 

“Here’s your bottle, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?” The kind faced stewardess asked, handing Nick the bottle.

 

“We should be good, thanks so much,” Nick said with a smile. Louis had no regard for personal space, as usual, as he made himself comfortable on Nick’s lap. It only took a few minutes for Louis to be positioned the way he wanted to be, head cradled in Nick’s elbow, staring up at his papa with sleepy eyes. Nick put the bottle up to Louis’ lips, the boy beginning to suck with his usual eagerness.

 

The more time that he spent with Louis, the more he realized the little things that the boy enjoyed. Louis was finally becoming confident in expressing his emotions and thoughts, and Nick made sure to make a mental note of every single thing he liked so he could do it often. One of those things that he especially enjoyed was getting a tummy rub, always making sure to point out that his papa gave better rubs than his daddy. Nick wore that honor like a crown.

 

Nick reached his hand that wasn’t cradling Louis’ head down to his belly, beginning to rub in the exact way he knew Louis liked. The boy let out a happy gurgle behind his bottle, milk running down his face that Nick quickly and lovingly wiped off.

 

“My sweet little boy, I love you so much. I love giving you tummy rubs and kisses. You like that too, hm? Sweetest little boy in the whole wide world, goodnight my little love,” Nick spoke to Louis quietly, crooning sweet words to the boy who was nearly asleep.

 

Harry ran up the stairs to the plane, conscientious of the fact that they took way longer than they planned to outside. It wasn’t a bother, really, he loved meeting fans. But more importantly, he loved watching his baby as he fell asleep, watching him let out cute little yawns before finally succumbing to sleep.

 

The first thing his eyes landed on was the sight of Louis cradled in Nick’s arms, letting out one of the yawns that made his heart melt around the nipple of his bottle. He walked over to where the pair was sat, bending down to press a kiss to a now asleep Louis’ lips.

 

“Love you, angel,” Harry whispered, moving to shift a seat into a bed for the boy. The flight was only an hour and a half, so thankfully they’d have their boy in a real bed soon enough. Once the seat-turned-bed was equipped with Dusty, Lacy, and a soft blanket, Nick gently picked Louis up and placed him in the bed. Harry popped a pacifier in his mouth before sitting down and placing his head on Nick’s shoulder.

 

“Don’t want you to leave, babe,” Harry said quietly, his stomach sinking as he thought about being without the man for a while. It never got easier, and it honestly never would. Sure, Harry was excited to start a solo career, but it could wait. He needed to have some time with Nick and Louis in London. At their house. His and Nick’s whole relationship had comprised of a week together, and months apart. Sure, they’d gotten used to it, but it grew tiring. Harry couldn’t help but worry that Nick would eventually get sick of it, but he hadn’t. Not yet, at least.

 

“I’d stay if I could, but I’m already taking time off for the last three shows. It’s almost over, then we’ll be home,” Nick said, pressing a kiss to Harry’s curls.

 

“God, nothing sounds better than having nothing to do besides be with my favorite two boys. It’s like… I know there are only a few shows left and I should be sad, but I feel quite the opposite.”

 

“Understandable, babe. You’ve been touring constantly for what, five years? You need a break. Speaking of breaks, did I tell you my mum and dad took off work to come to Paris? Looks like the whole family’s going to be there.” Nick was excited for his parents to come; they’d seen the boys perform when they were in London before, but that was before Louis. His mum texting him constantly, asking for updates on Louis. His dad travelled for work, and they’d just gotten back from two months in Hong Kong, so now they could finally meet the boy instead of just hearing about him.

 

“Sounds perfect, you know I love when Eileen and Peter are around,” Harry said with a smile. “Are they excited to meet Lou?”

 

“It’s all my mum bloody talks about, she bought half of Hong Kong and wrapped it for him. My dad’s just happy we’re happy, typical Peter.” Nick said with a smile.

 

“Gemma can’t wait either; I remember a few years ago when she told me about her neighbor’s little and how she couldn’t wait until I had my own, and here we are. It’s just insane.”

 

As always, the New York airport was absolutely out of control and packed with fans. Alberto carried an extremely irate and half asleep Louis to the car, Harry and Nick not wanting there to be any chance of fans mobbing them and Louis getting hurt while they carried him. The bodyguard was huge and foreboding, it was almost as if there was a flashing sign over his head that read “DO NOT MESS WITH ME”. Whatever it was, though, it worked.

 

Alberto talked to Louis quietly, which was actually quite loudly considering the screaming of fans, as he buckled him into the car seat, promising him his daddies would be out soon. Regardless of that, he furrowed his brows, arms crossed as he sucked angrily on his pacifier. If only the fans could see the angry image he made in the car as opposed to the blurry pictures of him being carried with his bare legs on display as he was carried to the vehicle in his onesie.

 

The other car door was opened, Harry sliding in before Nick hopped in and shut the door.

 

Harry couldn’t help but coo as he saw Louis’ irritated expression. “It’s okay, baby, you can go to sleep now. Just a few minutes and you’ll be in bed.”

 

Louis yanked his pacifier out of his mouth, lip wobbling, “Want to go home with papa. Want my crib.”

 

Harry leaned over the car seat, pressing kisses onto Louis’ cheek, tangling their fingers together to soothe the boy. He and Nick both understood that Louis needed comfort, some familiarity after so much time spent in hotel after hotel, city after city. Babies needed structure and organization; it helped them feel safe. As he’d thought a million times already, he knew that Louis was struggling, he couldn’t imagine how he was feeling.

 

“Would you like to sleep in a crib tonight, angel? It’s not yours, but we can get one brought up to the room,” Nick said softly. What he really wanted to say was that he’d love nothing more than bring Louis home tomorrow. Hell, why don’t they turn the car around, get on the plane, and head back to London? But that wouldn’t help anything.

 

“Please, papa,” Louis said, tears still falling silently.

 

“No worries, baby. We’ll get you all cozy and you’ll be in a comfy crib in no time,” Nick promised. The older man placed a comforting hand on Harry’s knee, knowing that his boyfriend would be internalizing everything that Louis was feeling and saying. Harry glanced back at Nick, giving him a smile. They’d get through this.

 

Louis fell back asleep, his grip on his daddy’s hand loosening. Harry couldn’t feel the least bit guilty about his annoyance at seeing fans in front of the hotel. The worst part of New York was that there was no way in besides the front, all of the buildings packed too tightly together for there to be a back entrance. The man was jarred from his thoughts by the door opening, Alberto giving him an understanding smile and letting him know he had Louis and he’d carry him inside.

 

The fans, of course, had no regard for the time or the fact that Louis was clearly asleep, still screaming as he walked by. It made no sense to Alberto, but he just focused on getting the boy inside. Nick walked quickly beside the pair, Harry waiting, wanting them to get inside before he headed out and even louder screams erupted.

 

Nick breathed a sigh of relief as Alberto stepped into the hotel with Louis in his arms, the manager of the hotel quickly walking up and greeting them.

 

“Hello! Welcome back, Mr. Alvarez, Mr. Grimshaw. We have your room keys right at the front desk; you’re the first group to arrive. Is there anything we can get you?” The woman asked with a practiced ease, making sure to keep her voice down when she eyed the sleeping boy.

 

“Can you have a crib sent up to my room as soon as possible? I apologize, we weren’t sure we would need one,” Nick said.

 

The woman was quick to dismiss his apologies, as any worker in a hotel that was paid the sum that the band’s management paid them. “Of course, Mr. Grimshaw, I’ll get to that right now. We’ll put our softest sheets onto them, no doubt. Let me alert our housekeeping crew, you can head over to the desk whenever you’re ready. As always, let me know if there’s anything we can do to make your stay more enjoyable.” She scurried off quickly, walkie-talkie already out.

 

By the time the keys were sorted, Harry was inside, pressing a soft kiss to Nick’s lips with a smile. The man responded by pulling Harry close, holding him in his arms as they waited for their keys to be activated. Alberto was sitting with Louis in his arms, Dale taking the job of sorting the keys while he sat with the boy, hoping that he wouldn’t wake up.

 

“All right, get Lou up to bed before a fan runs in screaming bloody murder,” Dale said with a small smile as he handed Harry and Nick their keys.

 

“God help the person who does that, I think I’d kill them with my bare hands,” Nick answered, shaking his head.

 

“Thanks Alberto,” Harry said quietly as they walked over to where he was sitting. The hotel staff had grabbed all of their bag, a wide eyed young man taking both the diaper bag and a hundred dollar bill after promising he’d run it up to their room.

 

“No worries, you know I only have one soft spot and that’s for him,” Alberto said with a smile, shifting Louis so that he was now cradled in Harry’s arms.

 

They quickly made it up to their room, their bags on the ground and the diaper bag placed on the bed. There was a crib set up at the foot of the bed, much to both men’s relief.

 

Before Harry could even tell Nick what to do, he was grabbing the travel changing mat and a diaper out of the diaper bag. Louis was changed quickly, Nick grabbing his blankets and stuffed animals and placed them in the crib, lowering the side of it so that Harry could easily put Louis in.

 

“Night angel, daddy loves you so much,” Harry said, pressing a kiss to the boy’s forehead, smiling as he watched the pacifier slowly bobbing between his lips.

 

“Love you, Loulou,” Nick said, kissing the boy’s forehead and letting his lips linger there. He’d miss this. But he could do it. It was only a little while, then he’d have both of his babies in his arms again.

 

Harry tucked Louis in before securing the side of the crib. He and Nick took a shower together, kissing each other softly, knowing that they only had a numbered amount of hours left together. It was always a somber affair, the last intimate interactions that they had together before they left. But it was just as good as always, the fire that Nick ignited inside of Harry all those years ago still there. He knew with all of the certainty he had that it’d never go away.

 

The next morning was a quiet one, Louis miraculously sleeping in past eight am. Nick and Harry were up before their little one, brushing their teeth and getting dressed for the day before ordering breakfast to the room. The breakfast would be up a little later, the men wanting to have time to wake Louis up and get him ready for the day before eating.

 

Louis came to when he felt a hand rubbing his tummy just the way he liked it. He let out a soft sound, shifting to roll towards the warm hand when he felt the mess in his diaper. Before he could even let out a cry he was picked up gently, Nick recognizing the scrunched up look on his face all too well.

 

“Papa’s here, darling. Let’s get you all clean and then we’re going to take a bubble bath!”

 

Louis let out a happy sound at that, head too full of excitement over his pink bubbles to grumble about his papa changing his messy diaper. He never had a bubble bath before his daddy and papa, and he loved them so much. At their house there were different color bubbles, his daddy liked being silly and putting in all of the colors so that there was a bubble rainbow.

 

“Let’s get your teeth brushed and then we’ll take a bath!” Nick said, picking a naked Louis up on his hip.

 

“Da!” Louis gurgled excitedly when they entered the bathroom, happy to see his daddy squirting bubbles into the big bathtub.

 

“My little pumpkin!” Harry said with a beaming smile, standing up to press kisses all over Louis’ face. Louis giggled at his daddy’s actions as he was placed on the counter. Harry and Nick quickly found out that Louis didn’t like brushing his teeth by himself, but they were more than happy to do it for him. Once his teeth were brushed, he was put into the now very bubbly bath, letting out a happy sound at the feeling of warm water.

 

“Feel good?” Nick asked, smiling when Louis nodded in reply. Harry bent down and put Louis’ favorite boat into the water along with washable bath crayons.

 

Louis had a great idea that he could put into action since he had the markers! He hoped that his daddies liked what he was going to do. It was no secret that he thought his daddies were the best people in the world; they were handsome, smart, funny, and nice. They were the best grownups that Louis had ever met, and he wanted nothing more than to make them happy and be like them.

 

He took a red crayon and held it to his arm, tongue sticking out as he concentrated. Art was one of Louis’ favorite things to do, and his daddies always told him how good he was at it. They still wore his bracelets that he made with nana, and tons of his drawings were hung up on the fridge and in his playroom! He was happy his daddies were proud of him. Making them proud made him happier than he’d ever been.

 

His drawing was finished a short while later, and he inspected it before getting his daddies’ attention from where they were talking on the floor.

 

“Lou draw like da and pa!” Louis said ecstatically, holding out his arm proudly.

 

Nick and Harry looked at his arm, the small tic-tac-toe board he drew on his arm uneven and slightly smeared by the water. It was the best tattoo they’d ever seen.

 

“Did you get a tattoo like daddy and I?” Nick asked in Louis’ favorite voice, a smile on his face.

 

Louis nodded eagerly, pointing with his free hand to his tattooed arm.

 

“It looks so good, baby! You’re daddy’s favorite artist. Can I post a picture of it online?” Harry asked. Again, Louis nodded, his smile bigger than ever. Harry took a picture of Louis, bubbles covering him up to his chest, arm outstretched and a giant smile on his face. Harry posted it on Instagram with the caption: _world’s newest and best tattoo artist. Contact his papa or I for appointments._

“Such a talented little boy, your daddy and I are so lucky!” Nick said, him and Harry smiling at the way Louis blushed. The little boy’s heart fluttered wildly in his chest every time his daddy and papa said something nice to him. He loved knowing they were proud of him.

 

“Let’s get you washed up so we can have some breakfast! Do you want a baba or some pancakes?” Harry asked. It was a bit difficult to tell sometimes how far into his headspace Louis was; it was always easier to tell after they asked the little a question, whether or not he could answer being indicative of where exactly he was. When he was feeling little he wanted his daddies to pick for him and he got easily confused.

 

Louis’ mind went a bit fuzzier than it already was at the question, unsure of what the right answer was. He liked when his daddies picked for him. Looking up with wide eyes, Louis shrugged.

 

Before he could feel uncertain over not knowing, his papa told him it was okay, and they just wanted to see if he had a preference one way or another. Louis listened to his daddies talk to each other while they worked in tandem to wash his body and his hair, content to listen to the men’s conversation instead of chiming in. Their voices soothed him, it didn’t matter what they were saying, he liked just listening.

 

“Your icky rash looks so much better! Does it feel better?” Nick asked as he dried Louis off on the bed. The little boy had a look of surprise on his face; Louis had all but forgot he had a rash. He couldn’t even feel it! Nick laughed, the boy’s surprised face as he looked down to where the rash once was giving him the answer he was hoping he’d receive.

 

“Which outfit do you want to wear? Remember we’re going shopping,” Harry said, holding up two outfits for Louis. Picking out clothes for him to wear in public was still something he was a bit hesitant to do. He knew Louis would go with whatever Harry and Nick wanted, even if it made him uncomfortable.

 

The two outfits proffered were a long sleeve, light blue onesie with Nemo on it and gray leggings, and a pair of jeans and a plain blue t-shirt. Louis barely waited a second before pointing to the outfit with the onesie.

 

Harry smiled, happy to see that Louis was confident enough to pick the outfit he really wanted to wear.

 

“Good choice! Let’s get you all dressed- look, breakfast is here!” Harry said, stopping speaking for a second when he heard the door knocked on. Nick went to grab the food as Harry got Louis dressed in the onesie and leggings, making sure he was all powdered up in his diaper so that there would be no possibility of the rash resurfacing.

 

“A baba sounds good, hm?” Harry asked as he walked back into the room after washing his hands. Louis, who was now sucking on his fingers, nodded, but didn’t take his hand out of his mouth. Harry sighed; he knew that the habit was going to get the boy sick one day, but until then there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 

“Here we are, a bottle for my sweet boy, and waffles for my sweet love,” Nick said as he carried a tray of food in and placing it on the kitchenette table.

 

“Belle,” Louis said before crawling so that he was resting on pillows at the head of the bed.

 

“All right, bossy boy, I’ll turn Belle on,” Harry said with a chuckle. He quickly found Beauty and the Beast, placing the DVD in Nick’s computer drive and putting the computer on the bed near Louis. The crib was blocking the TV, so the smaller screen would have to work.

 

“Baba,” Louis said, eyes wide as he watched the screen, not taking his eyes off of it.

 

“Here you are, your highness,” Harry said in an exaggerated accent, bowing as he handed Louis the bottle. The little giggled wildly at his daddy’s silliness, immediately starting to suck on the bottle.

 

Nick and Harry were able to have a relaxing breakfast, taking their time to talk and eat while Louis watched the movie. The director of the New York YSL store had let them know they’d be open all day, and that the store’s security team knew they’d be arriving and they’d be directed further once they arrived. The store was in the middle of the city, but the parking garage was underground, making it so that paparazzi still had no chance of getting photos.

 

Once Nick and Harry had finished up breakfast and packed up what they’d need for the day, they got Louis ready to head out.

 

“Ready to go, baby?” Nick asked from where he was putting Louis’ socks and shoes on, playfully tickling the boy’s feet.

 

Louis nodded in reply, reaching his hand down to touch his papa’s hair.

 

“Messing up papa’s hair already?” Harry asked as he walked over, taking a seat next to Louis on the bed. The little curled his upper body into the man, snuggling his face into his chest.

 

“All set!” Nick said as he stood up, reaching down to grab the diaper bag after double-checking that everything they’d need was inside.

 

Louis crawled to the head of the bed where his pacifier was stranded, picking it up and putting it into his mouth before crawling back to his daddy and sitting on his lap. Harry picked Louis up, shifting him so his legs were wrapped around his waist.

 

“We’re ready to go now! Let’s get Alberto and Dale,” Harry said, walking out the door that Nick was holding open. Nick knocked on Alberto’s door, both Dale and Alberto walking out quickly.

 

“Ready to head out? The car is waiting out front already, the fans are all behind barricades so we shouldn’t have a problem,” Dale said as he lead the group to the elevator.

 

Speaking to Louis quietly Harry said, “You can keep your paci in, but will you give the fans a nice wave outside, baby? They’d like that very much.”

 

Louis nodded in reply, getting a sweet kiss on the cheek in praise from Harry. As they headed out the front door the screams from fans increased, Dale and Alberto walking on either side of them as they walked the short distance to the car. Just as Harry asked, Louis waved to the fans, pacifier in mouth and head resting on his daddy’s shoulder. Relief flooded through Louis as soon as he was buckled into his car seat. He knew he wouldn’t have to deal with fans for a little while, and he was happy about that.

 

“Louis, I need you to listen to papa for a minute. Can you do that?” Nick asked from where he sat next to Louis, turning so he was looking him directly in the eyes. He and Harry had learned to change their tones of voice depending on what they were talking to Louis about. The boy understood that this was his papa’s serious tone, so he listened, eyes wide.

 

“Good boy,” Harry praised when he saw Louis’ attentiveness.

 

“When we go to the store, it won’t be just us in there, so I need you to be the best boy. If daddy and I aren’t carrying you make sure you’re always holding one of our hands. And if you need anything, just tell daddy and I, okay?”

 

“Louis is good boy,” he answered after plucking his pacifier out of his mouth.

 

“That’s right! You’re such a good boy,” Nick said, slightly tickling the now giggling Louis’ stomach.

 

The partition slid down, Alberto peeking his head back from where he was sitting in the passenger seat. “We should be there any minute. You put Dale and I on the list of who’d be coming today, right?”

 

“Yeah, I did. Here are our IDs, just hand them over when we pull up to the gate,” Nick said, grabbing the small stack of IDs he’d made.

Soon enough they were heading down a lighted underground tunnel, directed by the gaggle of security guards posted outside. It made Nick feel a bit better to know that in such a busy city they would have some privacy. Like he’s said, wealth could buy you anything.

 

Once they were parked in the relatively empty garage, a guard came over to them vehicle. He spoke with Alberto and Dale for a minute before leaving, the two large guards hopping out of the escalade.

 

“Ready to shop, bud?” Alberto asked as he opened Louis’ door, beginning to unstrap the boy.

 

“Yeah!” Louis said from behind his pacifier.

 

“Ready to go, pumpkin?” Harry asked with a wide smile, trying to quell any worries the boy might have. Fortunately, his excitement outweighed every other emotion he had. Louis nodded, walking over to the man and giving him a tight hug. Harry found that nothing melted his heart more than how little Louis looked next to him, the boy coming up to the top of his ribcage. He’d always loved how small and cute Louis was, but now that he was his baby it was even more precious.

 

“All right, let’s head in. There’s a little coffee shop right in front of the store apparently, so that’s where Alberto and I will be. Just holler if you need us,” Dale said as he led the group inside. They were immediately greeted by the site of a store that was even bigger than the London location, and a woman sharply dressed in a suit.

 

“Mr. Styles, Mr. Grimshaw! It’s such a pleasure to meet you,” the woman said in a soft, pretty voice as she shook their hands. Louis liked her voice and peeked out from behind his daddy at her curiously.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Melanie,” Nick said, knowing she was the director of the store and the woman he’d spoken to on the phone.

 

“Hello! Who do we have here?” She said with a smile, looking at Louis who was staring at her. She had the prettiest red hair Louis had ever seen, he just wanted to touch it.

 

“This is Louis!” Harry supplied, even though she obviously knew who he was. It was a tactic used to make sure littles were comfortable with meeting new people, and Harry was happy she adopted it. “Can you say hi, Lou?”

 

Louis nodded, prompting the woman to walk closer, bending down so she was on his height level.

 

“Hi, Louis! My name is Melanie, it’s so nice to meet you.” She said, sticking her hand out as to mimic the handshake she just gave Harry and Nick. Instead of taking the proffered hand, Louis took his right hand and reached up to stroke the woman’s hair. Everyone chuckled, the woman that they had just met taking it in stride. She was a p-dom herself, and was very used to littles, mostly her own, touching her hair.

 

“Soft,” He said without thinking, his pacifier falling out of his mouth and plunking onto the ground. His eyes immediately welled up with tears at the loss of the item, immediately taking his hands out of her hair to reach on the ground for it.

 

“No, no angel! We can’t put that back in our mouth, it’s yucky! Daddy and papa will get you a new one when we are home,” Nick promised, cursing the fact that he knew there were no pacifiers in their diaper bag.

 

“Oh, Louis, it’s okay! Want me to show you something special?” Melanie asked, thinking quickly. Louis nodded, tears still pooling in his eyes. At the affirmation, she walked them over to an aisle near them.

 

“Pick out any paci you want! Then I have a special trick to show you,” she said. Louis looked at his daddy and papa, making sure they were okay with it before reaching for a pacifier that had Mushu from Mulan on it. The woman grabbed the pacifier, removing it from the packaging, and grabbed something that was hanging on the wall near it before gently grabbing Louis’ shirt.

 

“Look at that! Now your paci is hanging right on your shirt, it’ll never fall off!” She exclaimed. Louis looked down to his onesie to see his new pacifier hooked onto a red clip attached to his shirt. The string was long enough so that it would reach his mouth.

 

“Thank you!” Louis said excitedly, immediately reaching down and putting the new pacifier in his mouth.

 

“Thank you very much,” Nick said, appreciative of the way the woman stopped an impending meltdown.

 

“Of course! Let’s head back up front so we can get everything all sorted out,” she said with a smile, leading the group up to the front.

 

“You guys are good to go, we won’t be long,” Harry said to the two guards, watching as they headed to the small coffee shop.

 

“We only have a few customers expected to come in today, so that shouldn’t be a problem. There are staff members milling all around, so if you need any assistance just holler. Andrew, our stroller specialist, came in to assist you with anything you may need. You can simply head up here when you’re ready to look at them, and I’ll alert him that you’re ready. Our carts are over here. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

 

“I think we’re all good for now, thank you very much!” Harry said with a smile, slightly squeezing Louis’ hand.

 

“Oh! And we have a juice bar at the far left side of the store near the clothing section. It’ll remain open all afternoon; they have bottles for the little ones, so no need to worry about that.” Melanie said with a smile.

 

After that, the little group was headed off into the store.

 

“Where do you want to start, Lou?” Nick asked. Louis pushed his pacifier out of his mouth, enthralled by the way it simply bounced on the red threaded string it was attached to, but didn’t go anywhere.

 

“Toys, papa?” Louis asked uncertainly.

 

“Of course, little cub. Let’s go look at some toys!” Nick said. Louis clapped his hands together in excitement, Harry and Nick letting out coos at the cute sight.

 

They headed to the figurine and doll aisle, knowing that was probably the first place Louis would want to look. He liked playing pretend with his figurines more than anything else he had.

 

Louis stared in wonder as he entered the aisle, looking at all of the choices in front of him. The section that held Disney princess dolls quickly stole his attention. He stopped in front of the plastic cased dolls, staring with wide eyes as he tried to take them all in. All of the princesses from his favorite movies were present; he couldn’t believe it! He wanted more than anything to be able to touch them, but their casing prohibited that. Their hair all looked silky soft, and their outfits were perfect. He needed them.

 

“Daddy, papa, my princesses!” Louis said as to direct their attention over to where he was standing, oblivious to the fact that they’d been watching him with rapt attention the entire time.

 

“I know, angel! They look so beautiful.” Harry said with a smile. He knew it was imperative to make this a positive experience for Louis; he’d been very hesitant about even watching princess movies, not sure if it was okay or not. It was obvious that Louis loved them, and him and Nick would do anything they needed to to make sure Louis knew it was all right to like them.

 

“Can I get them all, please papa?” Louis asked, turning around and moving to hug the man in question. Louis could feel his papa laugh from where he was pressed into his stomach.

 

“We can’t get them all, baby, but we can get two today. If you’re a good boy for daddy for the next few shows then we can get some more,” Nick said. It was tough being the strict (in the weakest sense of the word) parent, but he knew that Louis needed structure. Realistically, the boy could buy whatever he wanted, but Nick and Harry had talked and realized that it wasn’t fair to the boy to let him get whatever he wanted. He looked to Harry and himself for guidance and discipline, and that’s what they’d give him, just like any little boy.

 

Louis turned around to make the extremely difficult decision what dolls he should get when he heard two voices from the back of the long aisle.

 

“You can get one Barbie, just like I said! You have to listen to me better, Sel, or we will go home with nothing,” he heard a man’s voice say.

 

“But- but… I want five! I showed you the five I wanted! That isn’t fair,” he heard a higher pitched, annoyed sounding voice say.

 

Louis panicked a bit, quickly walking over to his papa and putting his arms up. He wanted to be picked up; he didn’t want to even look to see if he knew who the people heading towards them were. He’d never met another p-dom l-sub pairing, and he was terrified. Meeting new people was something that was hard for him anyways.

 

“It’s okay, little cub. Papa’s got you,” Nick said soothingly as he picked the little boy up. Louis pressed a quick kiss to Nick’s neck, tucking his face into his shoulder.

 

“Selena, I told you- wait, Harry?” the man’s voice said.

 

“Justin! How are you, mate? Long time no see,” Harry said brightly, walking over to give the shorter man a hug.

 

“I’m great, just shopping with Sel. You’ve met Selena, right?” Justin said, pointing to the girl next to him. She was dressed as any 24 year old would be, makeup perfectly applied.

 

“I have! It’s nice to meet you, Selena. I didn’t know you were a p-dom, Justin!” Harry said, unable to quench his curiosity as to the man’s status.

 

Justin and Selena both laughed, “I’m not, man! Yeah, Sel’s my sub, but she just likes the rare Barbies, and they have them here. Melanie is super cool and lets us come in to get them regardless of our classifications. Oh, Nick! How are you?”

 

Nick didn’t let his thoughts show on his face, making sure he put on a smile before speaking. “Justin, Selena, great to see you both! I’m doing well.” Selena was off looking at the Barbies, not even acknowledging the trio of men. Justin seemed used to it, not put off by her rudeness.

 

Before Justin could say something to Louis, Selena walked back with an armful of Barbie boxes. “Justin, I want all of these! I’ll pay for them. I don’t care. I will be so mad at you if I don’t get them today and they’re gone.”

 

Justin sighed, “Fine, Selena. I really wish you’d listen to me once in a while. Well, guys, it was great seeing you! Have a good day!” The pair walked out of the aisle. It was definitely a strange interaction, Nick thought. Meeting other pairs always reminded Nick how different every pairing was, people being into different things and taking the role of dominant and submissive differently. Justin and Selena’s relationship didn’t leave him wanting for anything, though. It just went to show him, yet again, that him and Harry had completely lucked out with Louis. The boy was so grateful for everything he was given, always listening to Nick and Harry. He knew that no meant no and yes meant yes. There was no gray area.

 

“You ready to pick out some dolls, love? We’re all alone now,” Harry said quietly, not wanting to broadcast the words to the entire store.

 

Louis nodded, wriggling in Nick’s arms so he could be put down.

 

During the short encounter with the pair, he made up his mind on which dolls he wanted. It was a tough decision, but he knew it was the right one.

 

“Want them, please,” Louis said with a smile, holding out Belle and Mulan.

 

“Great choice! Let’s put them in the cart so that they stay nice and safe,” Harry suggested, taking the dolls from Louis’ hand.

 

“What else do you want to look at while we’re here, angel?” Nick asked Louis.

 

“I want a Mushu shirt,” Louis said after a second of thinking.

 

“Let’s head over to the clothes, then!” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ hand while Nick pushed the cart.

 

They entered the vast clothing section, looking for the sign that read ages 0-2. The clothing sections were divided by ages, both genders of clothes being placed in the same age area. Many littles were ambiguous when it came to their clothing; it was the norm in most classifications.

 

“Hello! My name is Kyle, is there anything I can assist you with?” A man with light blond hair said, walking up to the group with a smile.

 

“Hi Kyle, we’re just looking for the 0-2 section, if you could help us with that,” Nick said.

 

“Of course! I know it can be a bit tricky to navigate the store. You can follow me right this way,” he said, checking to see if they were following before heading towards the back of the clothing section. “Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

 

“We’re looking for Disney clothing in particular, if you guys carry that.”

 

“Oh, of course! What kind of store would we be without Disney?” He joked, drawing laughs out of Harry and Nick. Louis’ stomach fluttered at his affirmation of them having Disney stuff. He really hoped they had Mushu; Louis really thought he was cool and funny.

 

The group was led to a section that had tons of Disney clothing, from pajamas to onesies to dresses to tshirts. They had everything.

 

“Mushu!” Louis said with a happy squeal, pulling his hand out of his daddy’s when he saw a black onesie with the red dragon on it.

 

“Look at that! Even more Mushu,” Nick said pointing to a t-shirt with the character on it.

 

“Can I get them papa? Please?” Louis asked as he stared at the onesie, stroking the soft fabric.

 

“Of course, love. Let daddy grab your size and then we can put them in the cart,” Nick said grabbing Louis’ size in the shirt.

 

“Best daddies ever,” Louis said, smiling to himself.

 

“Before we go get your stroller, do you need a change, love?” Harry asked. Louis nodded, grabbing the pacifier attached to his shirt and putting it back into his mouth. Once Louis was changed they headed out of the bathroom, Nick waiting right outside with the cart.

 

“Want some juice? They have lots of different kinds!” Nick said, gesturing to the tiled area that was set up with tables and a juice bar.

 

Louis nodded, following his daddies over to the counter.

 

“Hi! What kind of juice could we get for you three today?” A kind older woman asked from where she was stationed behind the marble counter.

 

“Lou, do you know what kind of juice you want?” Harry asked, even though he knew Louis would ask for apple juice.

 

He let his pacifier fall from his mouth, “Apple juice, please.” Bingo.

 

“All right, an apple juice in a bottle, and some kiwi mango for me,” Harry said, turning to Nick to see what he’d order.

 

“Kiwi mango sounds great,” Nick said with a smile.

 

“Perfect, I’ll have that up in a jiffy!” the woman said. A free juice bar was a perk that Nick loved. He’d definitely take advantage of it next time they went to YSL in London. Soon.

 

Once they had the juice they headed over to the stroller section, the woman at the juice bar telling them where to head and that she’d alert Andrew that they were on their way over.

 

A tall, dark haired man was standing in the stroller section with a smile on his face.

 

“You must be Louis, Harry, and Nick! I’m Andrew, it’s nice to meet you all,” the man said as he shook hands with Harry and Nick. He bent down to Louis’ height and Louis shook his hand too, letting out a giggle. It was clear that the man had worked with a lot of shy littles, as he knew how to quickly put Louis at ease. It was much appreciated by his daddies.

 

“Let’s get a stroller! Before I talk your ear off about all of the different kinds, how about you tell me what you’re looking for. What kind of stuff do you want the stroller to have, Louis? What color would you like it to be?” the man directed his attention to Louis, looking at him with a patient smile as he waited for the boy’s response.

 

Louis thought for a second before answering, “I like pretty blue. And I want it to be comfy for naps. And a top so I don’t have to see flashes.”

 

“Thank you for telling me that, Louis! I have a few awesome strollers in mind for you; we can even try them out! Follow me this way.”

 

“I had no idea that this many kinds of strollers even existed,” Nick said as he looked around the area.

 

“We have around 150 models in this store, and around 500 in our catalogue. There’s definitely a lot that goes into what kind of stroller a family should buy. Louis here is on the smaller end of the spectrum, so there will be no problem with him fitting into the strollers we have in stores. All right, here we have a RideOn 2015. It’s quite the popular stroller. I’ll pull it down and you can test it out.”

 

The man pulled the stroller down, Louis examining it. The color was a darker blue than Louis would’ve liked, but he sat down in it anyways. His daddy let him know that he was going to start pushing it. It only took a few seconds of Louis riding in it for him to know it wasn’t the right one. Three strollers later and Louis was feeling as though he would never find one.

 

Andrew looked at the boy’s dejected face, hesitating before making up his mind. “Well, there is one more stroller that I think is the perfect one. We actually just got it in today, but it’s not supposed to be on sale until March. I think we could make an exception though for such a well-mannered boy. I’ll be right back.”

 

Louis felt his stomach flutter a bit at the man’s words. He hoped this was the one. He wasn’t sure if he was being too picky, but his daddies didn’t seem worried so he wouldn’t be.

 

“Even if this one isn’t right, we can go talk to Melanie about the strollers in their catalogue. No worries, baby,” Harry said with a smile, drawing Louis in to kiss his forehead.

 

“I hope it’s good, daddy,” Louis mumbled.

 

“Here we go!” Andrew exclaimed, walking back over pushing a stroller that was the prettiest blue Louis had ever seen. He clambered into the seat, feeling comfortable as he sat down.

 

“It has an optional reclined seat, so that if he wants to nap then you can just set the seat back like this,” Andrew demonstrated, Louis feeling even more comfortable as he was reclined backwards. “And, of course, there is a top to go over him. The material is sun resistant, so he won’t get burned in the sun and camera flashes won’t be able to get in either.”

 

“Lou, I’m gonna start pushing you around so we can see if you like it,” Nick said with a small smile. He knew this was the perfect stroller for Louis. Both daddies were please with how smoothly it pushed, the wheels not getting jammed when they turned directions.

 

“Want it, please,” Louis said when they came to a stop, not jumping out of the stroller immediately.

 

“I think we can definitely make that happen, baby. What do we say to Andrew?” Harry asked.

 

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Louis exclaimed, grabbing his papa’s hand as the man leaned down to help him out of the stroller.

 

“You’re very welcome! I’m so happy I could help. I’ll bring it up to the front, it’ll be ready and waiting whenever you’re ready to leave.”

 

“Perfect, thank you so much again. We really appreciate your help,” Harry said, shaking the man’s hand again.

 

“Are we done yet?” Louis asked, wondering what else they still needed to get. It felt like they’d been there for five years!

 

“We just need to grab some more diapers and wipes and then we are good to go. You’ve been so good for papa and I, we’re almost done.”

 

Once in the diaper aisle, Louis was overwhelmed with the amount of choices he had. Last time they’d been at YSL he’d been so ready to leave that he didn’t even want to look at the diapers.

 

“Do you want to pick some out, baby? You can help daddy and I pick out your ones for daytime.”

 

Louis walked over to the area that held the diapers his daddy was talking about. He perused the selection, stomach fluttering when he saw the prettiest light pink diapers with dark pink outlines of Disney princesses on them. Unable to help himself, he reached a hand out to flip the package around so he could see all of the designs the package came with. Cinderella, Jasmine, Belle, Mulan, Pocahantas, Sleeping Beauty Ariel, Elsa. Everyone he loved. He knew that his daddies would be more than happy to buy him whatever diapers he wanted, but he couldn’t help but think about what his mum would say. He quickly dispelled the thought from his head. His daddies were what mattered; he trusted them. Turning around, Louis got the attention of his daddies from where they were looking at the overnight diapers together.

 

“Want these, please,” he said in a small voice, scared that if he said it louder his mum would somehow be able to hear him.

 

“Which ones, baby?” Harry asked, putting a pack of diapers in the cart before walking over. Louis pointed to the package, unable to vocalize what the design was. Harry’s eyes widened a fraction at the choice, surprised by how confident Louis was after their short talk the other day, but took it in stride.

 

“Look, they have Belle! Your favorite,” Nick said as he walked over, smiling and double-checking that the package was in Louis’ size.

 

“Those'll look super cool, angel. Are you ready to go?” Harry asked, chuckling at the quick pace with which Louis nodded.

 

Harry took Louis out to the car with Alberto while Dale helped Nick check out and bring everything out to the vehicle. It was obvious that Louis was in dire need of a nap, and as soon as he was in the car the little boy fell asleep. Harry checked his email, messaging Jackie back and letting her know that they would indeed be okay with their first television appearance before their last show in Los Angeles. They’d be appearing on the James Corden show, the man a close friend of Harry’s and someone Louis felt reasonably comfortable with. It made sense that that was where Louis would be interviewed again for the first time.

 

\------------------

The day flew by much quicker than anyone could have imagined. The show was over, and the group was at the airport. There were two private planes on the runway, one that would take One Direction to Miami and one that would take Nick home to London.

 

Louis was overtired and absolutely sobbing his eyes out on Nick’s lap in the backseat of the car. Alberto and Dale left the vehicle to give the three their privacy.

 

“D-don’t go, papa,” Louis cried miserably.

 

“Oh, love, don’t cry. Papa is going to miss you so much, but I’ll see you very very soon. Didn’t you have fun with me this week?” Nick asked, trying to get the boy to calm down a bit. Earlier Harry had told Alberto that if they were taking longer than twenty minutes to say goodbye then he should go get a bottle with milk and sleeping medicine from the plane and bring it back. Prolonging their goodbye would just make Louis more upset, so the quicker he was asleep the better things would be for everyone involved.

 

“Lots of f-fun. Can’t l-leave,” Louis sobbed, his cries not dimming regardless of how much time had passed.

 

“It’ll only be a little while, baby. Papa will see you in just ten days!” Nick promised. The car door was opened slightly, Alberto holding a bottle out that Nick quickly took.

 

“Let’s have a baba, we don’t want to upset our tummy by being sad,” Harry said.

 

Knowing that his boy would soon be asleep, Nick said his final goodbye to the boy. “I love you so so much, Louis. Papa will see you very soon,” Nick kissed the boy’s lips, stroking his hair. A still snuffling Louis took the bottle between his lips, sucking in the warm milk. The medicine worked like a charm, Louis being asleep before the bottle was finished, tear tracks drying on his face.

 

Nick opened the car door and pressed one more kiss on Louis’ forehead before transferring him to Alberto’s arm, the man gently carrying him to the plane.

 

“Can’t believe you’re leaving already, babe,” Harry said sadly, looking into Nick’s eyes.

 

“I’m glad I could make it out, love seeing you guys perform. Love you so much. I’ll see you so soon,” Nick said as they got out of the car, drawing Harry into a tight embrace.

 

Soon enough they were both on separate planes heading opposite ways, Harry to yet another show and Nick to rainy London. Eleven days to go; they’d been through much longer times apart. Their time together mattered more than their time apart, but it was often hard to think of it in such a way. Harry closed his eyes, stroking Louis’ soft, warm skin as the plane took off. Nine shows to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 13.5k... hope you all enjoyed it! i have NOT edited yet, i'm headed out of town for the weekend, so it'll be updated next week.
> 
> as always, let me know what you think!!!! 
> 
> twitter: @needaherofic, tweet me, comment, the usual.
> 
> love you all!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> many thanks to Mother Goose for her wonderful nursery rhyme, my countless encounters staying at the same Ritz Carlton in Miami as One Direction (I changed it up to fit what I needed), and James Corden for hosting a wonderful television show. PSA: don't look up narwhals on google images. I saw some disturbing images that caused me to cry and deterred me from writing this chapter. trust me. don't do it.

After a two hour long pro and con discussion with an extremely jetlagged Nick, it was decided that Louis could go out to dinner and painting with the girls. Perrie had flown into Miami to spend a few days with Zayn since they had two days off before the show. Sophia and Perrie begged Harry to let them take Louis out, which turned into Louis pleading as well. It’d be the first time Louis went out with anyone who wasn’t him or Nick for more than a few minutes, and they weren’t sure how he’d react. Zayn, Liam, and Niall all suggested that Harry take a night off; they could go out to dinner themselves and Harry could stop worrying about Louis every second of the day. Harry rolled his eyes at that notion; a father never stops worrying about their baby.

 

“What are you going to do if you go potty, angel?” Harry asked, pulling up Louis’ jean shorts over his freshly changed diaper. He was wearing his new Mushu shirt for the first time and he couldn’t wait for everyone else to see it.

 

“Tell Albs, and he’ll help me,” Louis said, giggling at the tickling sensation on the bottom of his feet as his daddy put his feet in slip on shoes.

 

“Good boy! You’re going to have lots of fun with the girls,” Harry said, helping Louis sit up.

 

“Love you, daddy!” Louis said with a smile, hugging the man tightly.

 

“Love you more, baby.”

 

There was a quick knock at the door before the sound of a key card activating was heard, Alberto walking into the room. Louis’ eyes lit up at the sight of the man as he ran over to give him a hug.

 

Alberto chuckled, “Ready to go, buddy?”

 

Louis nodded quickly. The girls really wanted to go out with him, and it made him feel special. He knew they’d let him get ice cream, and he couldn’t wait! Daddy and papa didn’t let him have sweets every night because it’d hurt his tummy, so he was always excited to have some.

 

“Remember to-“ Harry was cut off before he could even speak.

 

“I know I know, call you if he needs anything. I’ll hold his hand when he crosses the street, change him if need be, help him order dinner, keep fans away. This isn’t my first rodeo. Relax. Everything will be fine, okay? Enjoy your night off,” Alberto said, clapping Harry on the back.

 

Harry let out a defeated sigh. He didn’t like this feeling.

 

“Come give daddy a big kiss,” Harry said with a smile. Louis scurried over, pressing a happy kiss on his daddy’s lips.

 

“I love you, daddy! Bye bye,” Louis said before walking out of the room. It made Harry’s stomach sink watching him leave. His attention was quickly diverted when Niall walked in the room saying they were ready to leave. He hoped that his mind would be taken off of Louis, but he knew that wasn’t likely.

 

\------------------------

“I’ll have a coke, and a bottle with water for the little cutie, please!” Perrie said with a smile. They were sat at a back booth in a crowded restaurant; Louis sat between Perrie and Sophia so he was the least visible of the three. Alberto, Leo, and Phil were in the booth next to him, Harry insisting that they have a few guards there just because of Louis and Perrie. It was at the point where Sophia often needed a guard, the fans becoming far too interested in each of their love lives. It made no sense, but none of them questioned it.

 

“Lou, are you excited to go swimming tomorrow?” Sophia asked with a smile.

 

“Swimming and playing with new toys!” Louis said, making eye contact with both women.

 

“That’s right! I’m excited too, Louis! Do you know what you want for dinner?” Perrie said.

 

“Chicken and fries! Lots of fries, please,” Louis said with a smile. He would eat as much yummy stuff as he could without his daddies around. He knew it was a little naughty, but he couldn’t help but be excited about it. His daddy only ever let him have a few fries, so he’d eat lots of them tonight.

 

After they ordered, Louis was sat between the women coloring happily on the activity page the nice waitress gave him. His stomach got a little tight when he realized he just went pee in his diaper; he’d never had anyone outside of his daddy, papa, or nana change his diaper, but he trusted Alberto.

 

Perrie and Sophia noticed the boy’s squirming, so Sophia took it upon herself to ask him what was wrong. She had an inkling of what it was, and didn’t want another opportunity to be yelled at. Once Harry and Nick had seen Louis’ diaper rash after she neglected to change his diaper in the chaos of what babysitting Louis became, she knew she’d never make the same mistake again.

 

“Went potty,” Louis said quietly.

 

“Thanks for telling us, Lou! Alberto will have you as good as new by the time your food is here,” Sophia said, sliding out of the booth. Louis grabbed the hand she offered him and slid out. She walked him the short distance to the booth where the guards were sat next to them.

 

“You good, bud?” Alberto asked, patting the spot next to him. Louis sat down closely to the man, whispering into his ear.

 

“I’m wet, need a change.”

 

“All right, buddy, let’s hop on up and we’ll get you all changed.” Alberto said. Phil jumped out of the booth behind them, all of the guards quite aware of the legions of drunken patrons of the restaurant.

 

Louis grabbed Alberto’s hand once he was stood up, the guard’s large hand dwarfing his own. They had to wait outside of the bathroom while a man finished up inside, Phil deeming the stalls all empty before Alberto and Louis went in, leaving the other guard to stand outside of it.

 

“Bud, there’s no changing table so I’m going to lay your mat on the ground.” Louis nodded at the man’s words, running his hands up and down the dark gray tiles of the bathroom wall. Alberto grimaced at that, knowing Harry would have his head if he saw Louis do that; he’d just make sure to wash his hands once he was changed.

 

Louis wasn’t embarrassed to be changed by Alberto; he trusted him. And more than that, his daddy and his papa trusted him. They knew everything, so if they let him change Louis, then he knew everything would be okay.

 

“All right, let’s get you all buttoned up,” Alberto said, offering Louis a hand to help him stand up. The man zipped and buttoned the little’s jean shorts before sending him to wash his hands. Once the pair had their hands washed, they headed out hand in hand.

 

“All good?” Phil asked with a smile.

 

“Yeah! Time to eat,” Louis said excitedly.

 

Alberto and Phil both tensed as a large, stumbling man moved towards where they were walking back into the main dining area.

 

“Two on one? Savage, dudes, absolutely savage,” the man slurred as he stared at the trio.

 

“Excuse me?” Alberto asked, trying not to tighten his grip on Louis’ small hand in his angry state.

 

“The twink, dude. Is he yours? I’d pay a pretty penny for a piece of that,” the man continued, licking his lips as he moved a bit closer to the group.

 

“Lou, go back to the table with Phil,” Alberto said with a tight smile. Louis didn’t seem to even notice anything was off, happily grabbing Phil’s hand and letting the man guide him back to the table.

 

Sophia and Perrie both had poorly disguised looks of worry on their face, having seen the interaction with the man. Phil gave a slight shake of his head, as if to say not to mention it. It was truly a tribute to how deep in his headspace Louis had become, the fact that he didn’t even listen to what the man was saying, simply pleased to stay in his own head.

 

“Look, I think that’s our food, Lou!” Phil said, giving the girls a second to school their expressions as the boy turned to look over his shoulder at their waiter who was indeed carrying over their food.

 

“Yum!” Louis said, sliding back into the middle of the booth.

 

The booth next to theirs was empty, all three guards taking initiative in dragging the drunken man up to the front while they waited for the police to show up. Harassing a little was a crime similar to one of harassing a true child. They were not up to the competency levels of doms and other subs, and to degrade them and attempt to trick them into doing your bidding was a jailable offense.

 

Although the scene went unnoticed by Louis, it was being tweeted out by multiple people around the restaurant who’d connected the famous little they saw being led back to his booth by a hulking man and the same guard, joined by two others, dragging a large, drunken man up front. Then the flashing blue and red lights joined the party, and there was no question as to whether or not something had happened.

 

It was a miracle that they finished up dinner without incident, Louis being strapped back into his car seat as they headed to Sophia and Perrie’s surprise for him.

 

“Is it fun?” he questioned as they drove off, craning his neck as if staring outside would make it evident where they were headed.

 

“So much fun! You’ll love it, Lou,” Perrie promised with a dazzling smile.

 

Soon enough, they pulled up to a strip mall, Alberto carrying Louis inside of a colorful store.

 

Before Louis could confirm what he believed the place was, Perrie shouted out, “We’re painting!”

 

Louis smiled, releasing his hold on Alberto’s shoulder so he could clap.

 

“Welcome to Color Me Mine! I’m Janet,” an older woman said, shaking hands with the two subs and the bodyguards. “Will all six of you be painting?”

 

Before the bodyguards could opt out, Sophia stated that they would all be painting. Alberto’s quiet groan drew a giggle out of Louis.

 

“Paint! Paint!” Louis cheered, wriggling so that Alberto would put him down.

 

“That’s right! My coworker Alexis and myself will be helping you out today, so if you need anything just holler. The canvases are already set up, and Alexis is ready to help at our color station. When you know what you’d like to paint, just head over there!”

 

Louis was the first to go over to the color station, the little staring in awe at the sheer number of paint bottles there were.

 

“Lots of choices, huh? If you don’t see the colors you want, I can help you mix some!” the teenager behind the counter said.

 

“Do you have glitter?” Louis asked.

 

“Do I have glitter?” she said with a playful laugh before bending down and grabbing a huge plastic container with tubes of every color of glitter Louis could ever imagine.

 

Soon the group was situated once again, Louis sat in a fun rolling chair from Janet’s desk because they were concerned about him sitting on the stool. Louis was secretly happy to have the fun chair, though. The little concentrated on painting, not engaging in conversation like everyone around him. He couldn’t help but hear what was being said, though.

 

“I mean, I just don’t think we’re going to be the first wedding. Have you seen Nick and Harry?” Sophia said with a laugh.

 

“You really think they’ll be first?” Perrie asked, genuinely curious.

 

“Without a doubt. Then we’ll never see them again because they have so many places they want to go on their honeymoon. And they’ll never leave their bedroom, but that’s a given.”

 

Both women laughed at that, switching conversation topics and leaving Louis extremely curious. Oh well. He could talk to his daddy when he got home. He turned back to his canvas, continuing to paint his masterpiece. He couldn’t wait for it to be hung up at home!

 

“How is it going, Louis? That looks amazing!” Janet said with a smile.

 

Louis blushed, “Thank you. Could you please help me with the glitter, Miss. Janet?”

 

“Of course! What nice manners.” Janet said.

 

With the kind woman’s help, Louis was soon done with his painting. It was perfect. The girls were sipping on a glass of wine taking their time with painting, and Louis was barely awake at that point.

 

Alberto made the executive decision to head home with Louis and sending a car back for the girls and Leo who’d be staying with them at the shop. The guard gently picked Louis up, shushing him when he let out a disgruntled whimper. Phil carefully grabbed Louis’ painting, Leo promising he’d take all three of the guards’ paintings back to the hotel. They were nothing to write home about, that’s for sure.

 

Soon they were pulling up to the front gate of the hotel. This was why Miami was the best, he thought. The Ritz was gated, and fans couldn’t get inside without reservations. It made his life so much easier.

 

Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Harry weren’t back yet, not that Alberto expected them to be. It was barely 8:30. Alberto carried Louis into the room the little was sharing with Harry, quickly changing his diaper and changing him into pajamas.

 

Louis cracked his eyes open at the movement, whimpering a sleepy, “daddy?”

 

“No, bud, daddy isn’t home yet. You can go back to sleep, I’ll be right here,” Alberto said as softly as he could manage. The only reply that the man got from Louis was a soft sound in the back of his throat and the sight of his eyelids. Perfect. Turning on the TV, Alberto made himself comfortable in the living room area of the suite. It wasn’t until almost four hours later that the door opened, Alberto immediately standing up from where he was lounging.

 

Harry quickly walked in, eyes wide as he moved towards Alberto.

 

“How was he? Niall took my bloody phone, I couldn’t even call,” Harry whispered, looking far too stressed for a man who was supposed to be having a fun night out.

 

“H, he’s fine. Relax! We had a great night… besides a little mishap at the restaurant. There was a dick there making comments to Louis, but he didn’t even notice anything was wrong. The man is going to be locked up for verbal assault of a little, serves him right.”

 

Any verbal or physical assault on a little warranted at least three months of jail time; to try and take advantage of or hurt someone who couldn’t defend themselves was blasphemous. The man would face no mercy in court, especially since there were doms around for the incident.

 

“My poor baby, God. I can’t wait for this tour to be over, I never want to let him out of the house,” Harry said, voice cracking with emotion. Alberto placed a soothing hand on his back, patting the man in understanding.

 

“Just a few more shows, then we’re done,” Alberto said with a smile. He was ready to be done, too. Spending this much time with Louis cemented in his mind that he was ready to try and find a sub. The band going on hiatus gave him the perfect opportunity to start looking, too. He had more than enough money to start a family at this point, so what was stopping him? Although he’d never voice it, Louis’ warming up to him quicker than anyone else, including his daddies, gave him the confidence to know he could be a good dom. He was ready to find love after all of these years.

 

“Thanks, man. And thank you for watching Lou for me. Have a good night,” Harry said with a smile as he shut the door behind the man. Harry let out a sigh as he looked at Louis, sleeping and curled up in the big bed, pacifier bobbing between his lips. He couldn’t believe that this sweet, beautiful boy was his baby. How did he get so lucky? Once he was ready for bed he cautiously climbed under the covers, not wanting to wake Louis up. He couldn’t help but press a kiss to Louis’ forehead before snuggling up behind him and drifting off to sleep.

 

\--------

“What are the rules, baby?” Harry asked as he rubbed sunscreen into Louis’ baby soft skin.

 

“Stay with daddy,” Louis said, rolling up onto the balls of his feet excitedly. It was time to go to the beach! Niall showed up to their room that morning with a huge bucket of beach toys for Louis, whispering his apologies to Harry about taking his phone last night. Harry considered them even after seeing how much Niall had bought, and seeing how Louis’ face lit up.

 

“And the most important rule?” Harry questioned as he check Louis’ skin out to make sure that sunscreen was evenly applied from his nose down to his toes.

 

“Tell daddy if I go potty?” Louis questioned, unsure of what the correct answer was. He was getting impatient; he just wanted to swim!

 

“That, and have fun!” Harry said excitedly, bending down to press kisses into Louis’ hair, conscientious of the sunscreen that was soaking into the boy’s skin.

 

“Silly daddy,” Louis giggled, “we go now?”

 

“Yeah, baby, we can head down now.”

 

Louis skipped ahead into the hallway, Harry hearing Alberto’s gruff voice echo through the area before he could yell to Louis not to go on without him. The dom tried to juggle Louis’ diaper bag, the large bucket of swim toys, and the special soft beach towel he had for Louis. He looked up at the sound of a chuckle, seeing Dale standing there shaking his head and taking a photo.

 

“Glad this is amusing to someone,” Harry mumbled. Dale let out a louder laugh, moving to grab the plastic menagerie of toys.

 

They headed out to the hallway, Louis standing with Alberto, Liam, Paddy, Phil, Leo, and Niall, everyone dressed in their swim wear.

 

“-yeah, they’re unicorn whales! They swim in the ocean, but they have a unicorn horn!” Niall exclaimed, everyone besides Louis, who was wide eyed and hanging on his every word, rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.

 

“Here? Where I swim?” Louis asked, awe evident in his voice.

 

Niall nodded quickly, “Yep! Right here, we’ll probably see them today! I saw it on TV, they swim in the ocean.”

 

“All here? Let’s head out,” Phil said once everyone was accounted for.

 

Niall and Louis continued to talk about the possibility of swimming with narwhals, Niall now giving the little advice on how to act if one swam up to him.

 

“Is someone going to tell him that narwhals swim in arctic waters? He’s getting my baby’s hopes up, and his own I think,” Harry said to Liam with a frown.

 

“It’s pretty clear he didn’t pay any attention to whatever documentary he was watching,” Liam said with a laugh.

 

The beach was right behind the hotel, the group simply having to head outside and head down a short sand beach before they got to the ocean. Despite the sun being high in the sky and the fact that it was almost noon, the beach was nearly empty. It made the guards’ jobs a lot easier. Even though it was a private hotel beach, there was no guessing what the clientele of the day would be. Unfortunately, anyone could gather a few hundred dollars to stay at the same hotel as the group for a night. They’d realized that on too many separate occasions over the years.

 

“Swim, daddy?” Louis said as he walked over to the man, grabbing his hand.

 

“Of course, baby. Let’s get everything all settled down first,” Harry said with a smile. He looked down at Louis, smitten with the pair of Bubble Guppies swim shorts he was wearing, swim diaper peeking out of the bathing suit’s elastic waistband. He was the cutest little thing in the world, Harry couldn’t say it or think it enough.

 

There was an area curtained off for the group, a few large umbrellas set up with beach chairs and tables. The guards, Niall, and Liam joined an already sunbathing Sophia and Perrie under there.

 

“Daddy, swim?” Louis asked again as the man put down Louis’ bags and towel under the shaded area.

 

“One second, angel, be patient,” Harry said, leaning to grab Louis’ floatie device from where it was tucked in with the beach toys. “Let’s get this on you, then we can go out into the water!”

 

Thankfully, the waves at the beach were minimal, so Harry had no fear in taking Louis out into the water. Louis was a little nervous going out into the water, but he knew that his daddy would keep him safe. He gripped his daddy’s hand once he was all suited up, and headed towards where the waves met the shoreline.

 

“All good, little duck?” Harry asked, looking down at Louis. The little boy nodded, letting out a squeal as the water rushed up and over his feet.

 

“Waves!” Louis exclaimed as a small wave crashed down over their feet.

 

“That’s right! Do you want to go a little farther or stay right here?” Harry asked, wanting to take it as slowly as Louis needed. He knew that the boy didn’t have a lot of confidence in the water, so he’d take it at Louis’ pace.

 

“More water,” Louis said before squeezing a tighter grip on Harry’s hand. The pair moved a few feet further in until the water was up to Louis’ knees, the boy telling Harry that they were far enough in. Just like Harry had watched little ones do at the beach for years, every time a wave would come Louis would squeal and run back to the shore, never letting go of his tight grip on Harry’s hand. They continued playing like that for a while before Louis said he wanted a drink.

 

Thankfully, a waitress was waiting under their umbrella taking orders from the rest of the group when they got back. Harry handed the woman a bottle and asked for juice for Louis and a beer for himself. He’d had a long conversation with Nick about it, and realized that he couldn’t let who he was pre-Louis go completely. He could have a drink every once in a while; it wouldn’t inhibit himself or his abilities as a dad. He’d be fine. Maybe he wasn’t ready to go out for benders just yet, or ever, but baby steps were just fine.

 

“Play?” Louis asked from where he was wrapped up in his blanket on the chair, bright blue eyes piercing Harry’s gaze.

 

“Let’s have some juice first, then we can go play, love.”

 

“Lou! I have your painting in my room, I’m not sure how we got it,” Sophia said from where her and Perrie were laying on towels in the sun. Louis never understood how people could just lay in the sun all day. Didn’t they get bored? Louis was never too good at doing something for a really long time, especially something that made him really hot and sweaty.

 

“Is it pretty?” Louis asked, hoping the answer would be yes. He didn’t quite understand that the answer would never be anything but yes; no one could dare break his little heart.

 

“Of course! It’s perfect and so so glittery,” Perrie chimed in, lifting her head from the towel.

 

Talking to the girls sparked something in Louis’ mind.

 

“Daddy?” Louis asked.

 

Harry turned from where he was talking to Niall. “What’s up, love?”

 

“Are you and papa getting married?”

 

Niall let out a bark of laughter as Harry sputtered. “We are, but not quite yet. Why?” The topic of marriage had never come up, and Harry wasn’t quite sure what brought this on.

 

“Sophia and Perrie said you and papa won’t leave your bed after you get married. Can I stay in bed with you and papa? Love cuddles,” Louis said, eyes wide and as innocent as ever.

 

There was poorly hidden laughter heard around the table from the guards, Niall, and Liam, the girls hiding their faces in their towels. They had not meant for Louis to hear their conversation.

 

Harry was going to kill them. He didn’t want his baby exposed to the not so innocent aspects of the world, but he couldn’t quite help it when it was other people doing it. All he could do was damage control at this point.

 

“Baby, papa and I love cuddling with you! C’mere and give me some love,” Harry said in his special voice that he reserved for Louis, opening his arms up for the boy. Louis let out a happy sound, caring more about snuggling with his daddy than getting an answer for the question. Crisis averted. Louis hopped up into Harry’s lap, making himself comfortable and wrapping his towel around him like a blanket. The woman was soon back with drinks, Harry talking to the others while Louis sucked on his bottle, head pressed to his daddy’s shoulder.

 

“Daddy, I wanna play with sand,” Louis said, starting to wriggle in the man’s lap.

 

“All right, baby, let’s get your toys,” Harry said as Louis hopped out of his lap. Harry moved his chair out to where Niall’s was, resting closer to the shore so that he could watch Louis play. The little boy set up shop on an open expanse of beach and began to make a drippy castle of wet sand. There was a small smile on his face that didn’t leave, and it melted Harry’s heart to see him so happy.

 

“You’re so whipped, mate,” Niall said, laughing.

 

“Just wait until you have a kid, then you’ll stop laughing,” Harry retorted jokingly.

 

“Hopefully that won’t be for a while, need to get myself a lady first.”

 

“It’ll happen when it happens, I’m not too worried about your love life,” Harry said.

 

“Neither am I, can’t be worried when I’m living a life like this, can I? Incoming,” Niall said, jerking his head towards Louis. A pretty girl who looked around their age was headed towards where Louis was playing, her own bucket in hand. Her bathing suit was bright pink and one piece, decorated with a picture of Anna from Frozen on the front.

 

“Hi lads, hope you don’t mind if my little girl plays with your friend? I’m John,” a man who had come up to Niall’s left said, extending a hand. He was just as attractive as the girl he was speaking of, his smile easy and bright.

 

“Of course not, I’m sure he’ll be happy to have a friend. I’m Harry, this is Niall,” he extended his hand for a handshake, looking over to see Louis staring at him with wide eyes. Harry stood up, walking over to the pair and bending down a bit.

 

“Hey love, you’re okay. What’s your friend’s name?” Harry asked lightly, wanting this to be a positive reaction. Louis had never spent time with a little before, and Harry knew how anxious the boy was most of the time. He wanted him to be able to make friends, so he’d show Louis that it was okay to meet new people.

 

“I’m Julianne, but daddy and my friends call me Joey,” the girl said with a smile. She seemed to be a bit older than Louis in her headspace, around four or five.

 

"Hi Joey, it's so nice to meet you. This is Louis; Lou, will you say hi? It looks like Joey has some fun beach toys. You guys can play together and share your toys, hm?"

 

Louis took a deep breath, scrunching his eyes closed before looking up at Harry who was staring at him with an encouraging smile. The little nodded his head.

 

"Let's play! I have a cool thing that makes tall, pointy castles with sand!" Joey said with a smile, quickly taking the reins. Harry was pleased that the girl seemed to understand that Louis was quite a bit littler than her and shy.

 

"Okay," Louis said quietly, eyes curious as he looked to see what she was talking about. The little was quickly entranced in the girl's chatter, and didn't even notice when Harry went back to sit with John and Niall.

 

"Looks like Louis has his first friend," Niall said with a happy grin. 

 

"She seems to be great with him," Harry mused as he watched the pair play.

 

"She's the best, I'm telling you. Back in London she's in a playgroup and she gets all of the little ones out of their shells," John said fondly. It was clear that he cared about the girl quite deeply.

 

"London, eh? We might have to hop in on that playgroup when we're back. My boyfriend's worried that Lou won't be able to make many friends because of his job," Harry shared.

 

"We'd be more than happy to have you. It's a private group, lots of confidentiality agreements to go around. I can't tell you who's in it because of that, but some big name people you'd know, I'm sure." 

 

"That makes me feel a bit better. It's been stressful trying to figure out how he's going to make friends, especially when he's this shy."

 

"From experience, I'd have to say that littles don't quite care what his job is as long as he wants to play and brings cool toys. That's all they care about, it's like how we were in nursery school, but a permanent mindset."

 

"That's a great way to put it, man. Not sure if this is taboo, but are you two married?" Niall asked. Harry took in a concerned breath, unsure of whether or not the man would take offense to such a personal question. John seemed pretty easy going, though, so he figured he wouldn't care.

 

"Not taboo, as you will learn I'm a pretty open guy. Nothing to hide here," the man chuckled, "but yes, we are married. Joey is in a headspace about half of the time, the other half she's just my wife. It's a bit hard to explain, but every one is different in their headspace and their classification. It all depends on them."

 

"Wait, so why is Louis so little then? And little all of the time?" Niall asked, brow furrowed.

 

John answered, "Well, like I said, everyone's different. Some littles have a headspace that overtakes their rational adult mind. They never really grow out of being little, and they simply continue to exist as they were when they were younger. And many times, being in a safe, comfortable space allows them to emerge fully into their headspace. It all just depends on them. Joey and I met in uni; didn't even know she was a little at first, honestly. But once she was comfortable around me she went into her headspace one night. She just isn't always in it. And that's just how she is. Our education system never really does teach us that everyone is different, does it?"

 

Harry and Niall were both a bit in awe of how well spoken and knowledgable the man was. 

 

"Man, you should like... be a teacher or something," Niall said.

 

"Actually, I wanted to be a teacher, but knew it wouldn't make enough to live the life I wanted to. By some stroke of luck, I inherited a bloody fortune from my late uncle and never have to work a day in my life. I'm working as a classification counselor in London, working with some pretty powerful people. It's a good life, I'd have to say."

 

"I'll say! I'm glad we met you, you've given me some ease of mind about a lot of things," Harry said truthfully.

 

“Any time, man! That’s what friends are for, right?” John said easily.

 

Harry couldn’t help but smile at watching Louis interact with the other little; he seemed so happy to have a friend to play with.

 

“Do you mind if I send a picture to my boyfriend?” Harry asked, not wanting to take a picture of the little without asking first.

 

“Of course not, snap away,” John said with a sweeping hand motion. Harry smiled as he took a picture of the two bent over a huge sand castle. The three talked about London for quite a while, John and Niall bonding over their love of football. About a half an hour later they were interrupted by Louis’ loud cries, Harry letting out a sigh. He was hoping the boy would laugh when the tide came in and knocked over their castle, but… looked like that wasn’t going to happen.

 

Harry got up and walked over to where Louis was crying over his broken castle, Joey sitting there trying to calm him.

 

“Oh, angel, it’s okay! Your castle was so cool,” Harry cooed, leaning down to pick Louis up and place him on his hip.

 

“G-gone,” Louis sobbed out, rubbing his wet sand covered hands all over Harry’s back.

 

“It’s all right, love. We’re gonna go wash up and nap, my little boy is so tired, hm?” Harry soothed, bouncing Louis up and down as he and Joey walked towards Niall and John. Harry couldn’t help but smile when Louis nodded his head in agreement against his neck.

 

“Naptime?” John asked softly.

 

“Yeah, we’re off to bed. Grab my number from Niall and shoot me a text. We’ll be back in London for a show in two weeks or so, I’d love for you guys to come. Can you say bye to Joey, love?”

 

Louis looked up, eyes red and tears still falling down his face from his sadness over his work of art.

 

“Bye bye Joey. Thanks for being my friend,” Louis said, voice small.

 

“I love you, Louis! You’re the best friend ever!” Joey said, throwing her arms around Harry and squeezing the two of them. Her long, dark brown hair was blowing in the wind, her freckles prominent on her light skin. She had a genuine smile plastered on, light brown eyes scrunched up as she smiled and waved goodbye.

 

“Goodbye guys, it was great meeting you! We’ll see you soon,” Harry said with another wave, walking back to grab Louis’ diaper bag from under the umbrella. Alberto was already standing up and grabbing the bag. What would they do without him?

 

“I could use a nap right about now, man. The sun takes it out of me,” Alberto said as they walked back into the hotel, Harry deciding to clean off the sand once they were in their room instead of dealing with the cold outdoor shower the hotel offered.

 

“Lou, babe, you gotta stay awake until we take a bath and get all clean,” Harry said, slightly jostling the boy in his arms so he wouldn’t fall asleep. Louis let out a disgruntled sound at that, wanting to go to bed.

 

Louis was tired, but he couldn’t help but think about the events that’d transpired that morning. He made his first friend by himself… basically the first friend he’d ever made in his entire life. The boys didn’t count because they were forced to be his friends since they were in the same band. But Joey? She wanted to be his friend. She was fun and didn’t mind that he was a bit shy. He really liked her. Her stories about Disney were so cool! She’d met all the princesses; Louis was jealous, but he hoped his daddies would take him soon. He’d have to work up the courage to ask them, which was something he wasn’t very good at. But he had a friend now. He was so happy.

\------------

The next morning, Louis woke up early. Really really early. Still dark out early. He wanted to groan when he saw his daddy was still asleep, but he knew he was probably tired so he’d let him sleep. His daddy would thank him for that; his papa always told him to let daddy sleep, so that’s what he’d do. Speaking of his papa… he missed him. He got up out of bed and took his daddy’s phone, opening it so he could find his papa’s name. There were three numbers under “Nick”, so Louis picked a random one and pressed the little call after lying down on the couch.

 

“Speak of the devil, my beautiful listeners. Harry, what do you have to say about being on the Late Late Show tonight? Excited?” Nick asked in a voice that Louis only heard him use on the radio.

 

“Papa, it’s me! I woke up and didn’t wake daddy up, just like you said to do,” Louis said, extremely proud of himself.

 

Nick let out a small, shocked laugh. “Hi baby, how’d you find this number? This is the number for papa’s work!”

 

“I clicked a number on daddy’s phone! Can all of the people hear me?” Louis asked, curiously. He’d only been on Nick’s show a few times, Harry always choosing to do the Breakfast Show interview slot for obvious reasons.

 

“All of England can hear you, baby. Will you tell them hi? How about telling them what you did yesterday in Miami?” Nick knew that asking Louis questions about the band was a silly idea, and that people would much rather hear about what the boy did for fun.

 

“Hi England! I played at the beach with my new friend Joey. Then I watched Frozen with daddy. I miss you, papa! Daddy said we see you soon,” Louis said, going from sad to excited in an instant.

 

“That sounds like so much fun, love. I’ll see you very soon, and all of our listeners can watch you tonight on the Late Late Show with the UK’s very own, James Corden.”

 

“Angel, who are you talking to?” Harry asked groggily as he walked into the room. Louis was laying on the couch with his phone in hand, further confusing Harry.

 

“I’m talkin’ to papa and all of England!” Louis said, excitement lighting up his eyes.

 

Harry let out a laugh at that, sure that all of the people on the way to work wanted to hear Nick’s conversation with their little boy.

 

“Can I see the phone? Thanks, baby. Hi Nick, hi Breakfast Show listeners. Make sure you tune into the Late Late Show tonight, it’ll be a good time,” Harry said jokingly.

 

“What he said! And that’s all for today’s segment of the Grimshaw family phone conversations, tune in next week for more,” Nick said as he hung up the phone, a smile on his face.

 

“What am I going to do with you, my goofy little boy?” Harry asked, pressing kisses all over Louis’ face. Louis shrugged his shoulders as he laughed loudly.

\------------

Harry felt like he was walking on the sunshine. One show left. They performed at the Rose Bowl in Los Angeles that night. But before that, they had to get through their first television appearance with Louis’ classification being a household fact. One more jam packed day and he’d be back with Nick. That’s it.

 

“Loulou, angel. You’ve got to wake up,” Harry said as he gently rubbed the boy’s back. He’d put him down for a nap a little under two hours ago, and now it was time to leave for the Late Late Show. James had texted Harry and promised that Louis would love what they were doing on the show. That made him extremely nervous; James was well known for his eccentric ideas. He just hoped that Louis wouldn’t be doing anything too crazy.

 

They were at the studio a while after, James meeting the band with open arms.

 

“Boys!” James exclaimed in a happy voice, “LOUIS! Love, how are you?”

 

The man ran over to Louis, picking him up around the waist and spinning him around in a circle. Louis giggled loudly, curling into the man’s hug easily once he put him down.

 

“Oi, James, playing favorites?” Niall said, drawing a laugh out of the group.

 

“How could any of you even compare to this lovely boy?” James asked incredulously.

 

“We don’t, mate,” Zayn said with a small smile. He loved watching Louis get more comfortable with attention. Their shyness was something that they’d bonded over initially, and to see both himself and Louis come out of his shell more made him so happy.

 

“Who’s ready to start taping? We’re going to do our interview first, then our fun little surprise,” James said.

 

“Surprise? That’s never good coming from you,” Liam muttered, drawing nods from Niall and Zayn.

 

Once they were changed and sat on the couch in the studio, James asked if they were ready to begin, focusing on Louis’ reaction. Louis was told he wouldn’t have to answer questions unless he wanted to; James would look for his reactions and gauge whether or not to ask him things off of that. They all trusted that he would do his job, and do it well.

 

“Hello and welcome to the Late Late Show everyone. Tonight is a jam packed night! If you’re looking for drama, we’ve got it! If you’re looking for comedy, we’ve got it! If you’re looking for the cutest, most wonderful boy on earth, Louis Tomlinson is right here!” James started with, the audience going wild at his last remark. Louis blushed, digging his smiling face into Harry’s side, prompting the man to press a kiss to his head.

 

“Happy to be here, James,” Niall said with a smile, waving to the audience.

 

“All right, where to begin. Tour. You’re finishing up your US tour tonight, right boys? How has it been?”

 

“It’s been great, the crowds are always loud, I think it’s hard for us to wrap our heads around still,” Liam answered, giving his usual reply to that question.

 

“And you’re off to the homeland next?”

 

“Off to Europe, then a show in me homeland, Ireland, and then our last show’s in London,” Niall said with a smile, getting screams from the crowd when he mentioned Ireland. For whatever reason, the fans loved Niall’s hometown pride, so they just rolled with it.

 

Louis sat up as they talked more, still leaning into his daddy’s side, but feeling comfortable enough not to hide.

 

“And you’ve still got your gorgeous subs, right boys? Niall, still alone?” James joked, drawing a laugh from the boys and the crowd.

 

“True and true, livin’ the single life as always,” Niall said with a happy smile.

 

James took a quick over to Harry, getting a quick nod from him before asking his next question.

 

“And Harry, I can’t say I’m surprised that you and Nick are still together. Right soulmates, you are. But I was a bit shocked when you added a lovely little addition to your family?”

 

“That’s right,” Harry started, pride evident in his voice. “Louis has joined our little family and made us whole.”

 

The audience awed at Harry’s words and the way that Louis blushed and hid his face in Harry’s shoulder.

 

James softened his voice before speaking again, “How’s that going, Louis? Are they treating you well? Buying you everything you want?”

 

Louis took a little breath in before speaking, shifting even closer to his daddy and tangling their fingers together. He nodded, “They’re the best daddies in the world! They bought me cool guppies shoes, do you wanna see?” He was wearing his light up Bubble Guppies tennis shoes as always.

 

“Of course I want to see! We all do!” James said enthusiastically, the audience yelling in accordance with his words. Louis stood up and stomped his feet a bit, Harry feeling like he was going to die from a cuteness overload.

 

“I told Lou I’m gonna steal those shoes from him, I want a pair!” Niall said as they watched the mermaid children move in the clear water around the edge of the shoes, lights blinking every time he jumped up and down. He sat down after making them light up a few times.

 

“Surely you have the best daddies ever if they buy you shoes as cool as those! And Harry, how is fatherhood suiting you?” James asked.

 

“I could love nothing more, James. I’m sure you know how I feel. I have the best little boy and best boyfriend in the world, life couldn’t get better.”

 

“That’s so sweet, you’re melting my heart, Harry!” James said, pretending to faint and making Louis giggle. “Have you boys babysat yet?”

 

“Nah, but the girls have. Harry trusts ‘em a bit more than us,” Liam said sheepishly.

 

“Rightfully so, I’m sure. Louis, question for you, sir: does your daddy read you books at night?”

 

Louis nodded, “Sometimes. Lots of times I’m sleepy and just have my baba before bed.”

 

Everyone awed at his answer and the way that he answered the question so seriously.

 

“Well, our first task of the day is having your daddy and bandmates read us a storybook. We want to test out how good their story reading abilities are. It’ll help make it easier for you to decide who you want to babysit!”

 

“It’ll clearly be me,” Niall said, cracking his knuckles as if he was about to fight someone.

 

“We’ll be the judges of that. Louis, c’mere love, you’re gonna sit on Uncle James’ lap,” James said, patting his lap. Louis giggled with the rest of the audience, not allowing himself to feel nervous as he went to sit on the man’s lap. The fans thought it was a good idea, so he’d do it. He carefully sat on James’ lap, perched on his legs.

 

“All right, so the book we’re going to read is a classic tale: The Three Little Kittens. Zayn, are you ready to start?”

 

Zayn let out a sigh; sometimes he couldn’t remember why he did this. Then he looked up to see his bandmates’ faces and remembered. “Yep, ready to go. All right. Three little kittens,  
They lost their mittens,  
And they began to cry,  
"Oh, mother dear,  
We sadly fear  
Our mittens we have lost."  
"What! Lost your mittens,  
You naughty kittens!  
Then you shall have no pie."  
"Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.  
We shall have no pie!"”

 

“Wait, wait!” James shouted, “Louis, you missed your part!”

 

“You didn’t tell me!” Louis said, nose scrunched up adorably.

 

“Oops! Well, whenever the kittens meow, that’s your job! And my job. We’re going to be the little kittens, we’ll pretend we have a third friend with us.”

 

“We have a friend! My friend. Alberto can be a kitten,” Louis said with a bright smile. Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Harry let out loud cackles at that.

 

“Come on, Alberto, you’ve been summoned,” Harry yelled out to the backstage area. A good natured Alberto headed out to the loud screams of fans.

 

“Oh, perfect! You’ve just the little kitten look we were going for here,” James said.

 

“Thanks, I’ve been working on it for a while,” Alberto muttered.

 

“You know what you’re to do?” James questioned. Alberto nodded. “All right, start this thing over, Zayn!”

 

“Three little kittens,  
They lost their mittens,  
And they began to cry,  
"Oh, mother dear,  
We sadly fear  
Our mittens we have lost."  
"What! Lost your mittens,  
You naughty kittens!  
Then you shall have no pie."  
"Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.  
We shall have no pie!"”

 

When Zayn read the meowing part, the three began to meow loudly, Alberto unable to not play the part when Louis was looking at him with bright, happy eyes. He never wanted the boy to lose his spark again.

 

Zayn passed the book to Liam. “Three little kittens,  
They found their mittens,  
And they began to cry,  
"Oh, mother dear,  
See here, see here,  
Our mittens we have found."  
"What! Found your mittens,  
You darling kittens!  
Then you shall have some pie."  
"Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.  
We shall have some pie"”

Niall read next, “Three little kittens,  
Put on their mittens,  
And soon ate up the pie;  
"Oh, mother dear,  
We greatly fear  
Our mittens we have soiled."  
"What! Soiled your mittens,  
You naughty kittens!"  
They began to sigh,  
"Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow."  
Our mittens we have soiled."”

 

Louis was giggling wildly at the way that Niall read, the gad exaggerating every word that came out of his mouth.

 

Harry took a deep breath before he began to read, knowing it was crunch time. “Three little kittens,  
They washed their mittens,  
And hung them out to dry;  
"Oh mother dear,  
Look here, look here,  
Our mittens we have washed."  
"What! Washed your mittens,  
You're such good kittens.  
I smell a rat close by!"  
"Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow."  
We smell a rat close by!"”

 

Louis clapped loudly as his daddy finished reading, jumping off James’ lap to sit on his daddy’s back on the couch.

 

“Daddy wins!” Louis exclaimed, unable to be shy when he was so proud of his daddy. He really did have the best daddy in the world, he couldn’t believe it.

 

“Speaking of winning, we’re onto our next event. So, we all know the Olympics are taking place in Brazil this summer, right?” A chorus of assent was heard through the audience. “Well, we’re going to have ourselves a little 1D Olympics.”

 

A short while later, the group was at a training facility. Louis was dressed in a black and white striped referee shirt with a whistle around his neck, the same as James.

 

“On your mark, get set, go!” James yelled into a megaphone, and the boys were off through the track course that James had made. The first was a section of hurdles, and then they came to a large, blow up waterslide that they had to climb and go down before reaching a rope that they had to climb before ringing a bell. They were definitely getting their workout in for the day.

 

Liam was off the quickest, having been a runner in school. Harry was right on his tail, being the workout fanatic that he was. Zayn was moving at his own pace, just as he usually did. Niall was going surprisingly quickly, running at a speeder faster than anyone thought him capable of. Until his leg got caught on a hurdle and he went down into the track face first.

 

Louis was shrieking with laughter, the little and James fell on the floor with how hard they were laughing, cameras panning in tightly on their faces.

 

“I’m all right, thanks for asking!” Niall yelled from where he was on the ground.

 

Liam won the first event, and Harry won the second silly swim stroke contest. They were locked in a dead tie, and the last event was speed skating. They were at an ice rink, Harry making sure Louis was bundled up in a coat from where he was standing outside of the rink.

 

“Well, this is it. This is the last chance for you to win glory for your country. Are you ready, Liam?” James asked.

 

“LET’S DO THIS!” Liam shouted, clapping and moving back and forth on his ice skates.

 

“Are you ready, Harry?”

 

“I can only hope so. Eternal glory’s at stake here, James,” Harry said solemnly.

 

“Do the honors, my trusted assistant,” James said, handing over the megaphone to Louis.

 

“Ready, set, go go go!” Louis shouted into the microphone. The goal of the race was to go around the rink two times, and the first person to kiss Niall on the cheek was a winner. Liam was off like a flash, clearly very at home on ice skates. No one understood how, as they’d never seen him skate before. Harry caught up quickly, though, and it looked like he was going to win until he toppled to the ground, legs getting tangled together.

 

Louis immediately burst into tears when he saw Harry fall to the ground, James immediately yelling for the cameras to stop shooting. A team of medics rushed out to where Harry was to make sure he was okay.

 

“Lou, come here, bud,” Alberto said soothingly, bending down to pick the sobbing little up.

 

“D-daddy,” Louis sobbed, terrified for his daddy’s safety.

 

“I know, Lou. Let’s call papa and see what he’s up to!” Alberto said, trying to distract the boy. He didn’t know if Harry was bleeding, and wanted to keep Louis away from that as to not further traumatize him. Alberto dialed up Nick on FaceTime, the man picking up on the second ring.

 

“Hel- baby, what’s wrong?” Nick asked as soon as he saw his baby’s crying.

 

“Daddy fell,” Louis choked out.

 

Alberto cut in, “They were filming a scene for the Late Late Show and Harry fell ice skating. He’s with some doctors right now.”

 

Nick took a deep breath before answering. Freaking out would do nothing but make Louis even more scared. “Oh, angel, daddy’s okay! The nice doctors are just double-checking that he’s okay. Are you having a good day?”

 

Before Louis could answer, a very alive and uninjured Harry was walking over to them. “Baby, daddy’s okay, look! All good.”

 

Louis let out a relieved sob, wrapping his arms around the man from where he was sat in Alberto’s lap.

 

“I told you, baby,” Nick said, breathing his own sigh of relief.

 

“Hey babe, we’re all good over here. Love you so much,” Harry said, blowing the man a kiss.

 

“We ready to film Harry waving his white flag?” James said half-jokingly.

 

“Definitely; Liam can win this one, I’d rather have both of my legs than eternal glory,” Harry said seriously.”

 

\------------

It wasn’t until they were on the flight to Milan later that night that Harry took time to truly think about the American tour. The tour was much the same as always; full stadiums, screaming fans that knew every word to their songs. It was his life that had changed. His heart was full. He had the baby that he had always wanted, the most perfect little boy in the entire world. And Louis was happy, he was genuinely happy. And they’d be home soon, no longer having to worry about the pressures of a tour schedule, only relaxation in their house with Nick. It was everything he could have ever asked for in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT EDITED!!!!!!!! I'll delete this once it is.
> 
> as always, please let me know your thoughts, comments are what motivate me. for those of you who don't follow me on twitter (hint hint @needaherofic), you won't know yet that I'm headed on vacation in approximately 16 days. hopefully I'll get a chapter up by then, but if not... all the love to you wonderful people.
> 
> let me know what you want to see, what you liked, didn't like, anything you want me to know <3 enjoy!!!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is!!!!!!! 5 papers, 3 midterms, and a Turkish oral exam later... I am off to the Caribbean for a spring break trip!

Harry was more distracted than he’d ever been at a show. All of his apologies, Milan. He’d been hit with the awful piece of news that he’d be staying in Milan with Niall to do some press the next day five minutes before they went on stage, and it was all he could think about. Louis was going to absolutely lose his mind when he found out; Harry was dreading having to tell him. Nick’s flight was getting into Paris the next day, but it meant that Louis would have to spend the night alone. Harry knew by this point that fighting their management was useless, and if they wanted him to do something he’d just have to suck it up and do it.

 

“You have twenty minutes to say goodbye. I’m sorry man,” Alberto said quietly to Harry after they walked off stage.

 

Harry sighed before walking back over to his little boy. “Let’s get you all nice and comfy in pajamas, angel!”

 

Louis let out a yawn as they walked to their dressing room, “We see papa tomorrow?”

 

“That’s right! Papa will be with us around dinner time,” Harry said. Louis clapped his hands in response, overjoyed at the prospect of seeing the man for the first time in forever and ever.

 

“Sleepy,” Louis said with a yawn.

 

“I know, baby, once you’re in the car you can go to bed,” Harry said sympathetically. The constant time changes had been hard on Louis, and nothing was more difficult than the shift from LA to Milan. Nine hours was a world of difference for the little boy. “Daddy needs to talk to you for a minute, can you be my good listener?”

 

Louis nodded, “Your good boy.”

 

Harry cooed, “That’s right, you’re always my good little boy. Daddy needs you to be very very brave for me, okay? Niall and I are going to have to stay to do some interviews tomorrow, so Alberto is going to take you to the hotel. You can sleep in a bed or a crib, it’s your choice angel. Daddy will be there as soon as he can, I promise.” Harry knew the boy was in his stage headspace still, one that was quite little, but coherent, so he knew Louis would understand what he was saying. His heart broke into tiny piece as he saw Louis’ eyes well up with tears.

 

Louis felt like his head was exploding, he wanted to scream, cry, and tell his daddy not to leave him all at the same time. All that came out were his tears, though. Harry quickly finished getting him diapered and dressed in a soft pair of footie pajamas before picking him up and placing the small boy on his lap.

 

“I know, I know, daddy doesn’t want to leave you either. I’m going to miss you so much, but I’ll see you so soon! Can you be my brave boy?”

 

Louis ducked his head into Harry’s shoulder, loudly sobbing. He was so tired, all he wanted was to go to bed with his daddy, and now he found out that he couldn’t.

 

“Let’s get Lacy and Dusty all ready to get on the plane! We can have a baba that’ll help us go to sleep, and we’ll be all comfy,” Harry exclaimed, standing up with Louis still in his arms. He knew he’d never convince Louis to go without him, so he’d just have to get him in the car himself. Sarah the cook told Harry she’d get a bottle made with some little-safe instant sleep aid in it so that Louis would fall asleep easily. Harry wanted to make this as easy as possible on everyone involved, and make sure Louis wasn’t causing himself too much emotional stress.

 

Harry unzipped Louis’ diaper bag and grabbed Louis’ prized stuffed animals, the boy reaching out quickly and grabbing them. He brought them close to his face, his tears soaking their soft material.

 

“There we are love, now let’s go see Alberto! I think he’s got a yummy bottle for us,” Harry continued to narrate, knowing it might assist in getting the little’s mind out of such a panicked state. The door was opened gently when Harry tapped his foot against it, not having any free hands to open it.

 

“Give me that, and you take this,” Alberto said, grabbing the multiple bags looped up around Harry’s shoulder and taking the bottle.

 

“Look at that, a warm baba for my sweet baby,” Harry crooned, breathing a sigh of relief when Louis quickly started sucking on the bottle, his breathing normalizing quickly. He carried Louis out of the room, quickly being flanked by Alberto, Phil, and Dale.

 

Harry knew the medicine would kick in quickly, the meds being made for specific situations just like this one. Bless the marvels of modern science.

 

“Daddy loves you very much, you’re my brave little Mushu, aren’t you?” Harry felt something wet land on his neck, realizing that it was milk falling out of Louis’ lax mouth as he lethargically spoke.

 

“’m brave like ‘laddin,” Louis slurred, the medicine already making his eyes grow heavy and senses slow.

 

“That’s right, my little prince,” Harry agreed, smiling. It took about two minutes to get to the car from there, and Louis was completely asleep. Phil whispered to him that the police had forced all of the fans to leave the airport; so screaming wouldn’t wake Louis up. He hoped the boy slept until the morning so Alberto wouldn’t have to deal with a crying and cranky Louis. And he knew he’d be worried about his little boy until he had him in his arms again. It was impossible not to.

 

Louis was carefully buckled into his car seat, Harry breathing a sigh of relief when he didn’t wake up.

 

“Love you, baby,” Harry whispered and pressed a kiss to his forehead. He placed a pacifier into the boy’s lax lips, smiling softly as he watched him begin to suck on it.

 

Alberto clapped a comforting hand on his back. “I’ve got him. I’ll let you know as soon as we’re at the hotel and when I’ve got him in bed.”

 

“Thanks Alberto, really. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 

The man waved his thanks off, simply hopping into the passenger’s seat of the car. Harry felt as though his heart was leaving with the car that was now driving away.

 

\----------

Louis’ back hurt, his head did too… and he was still tired. Those were the first thoughts that came to mind when he woke up, tears immediately welling in his eyes.

 

“Dada?” he whimpered, slowly blinking his now watering eyes. He never liked waking up in somewhere that wasn’t his crib or a bed with his daddies, it confused him and made him more emotional that he normally was after just waking up.

 

“Hey bud, it’s Alberto. We’re pulling up to the hotel, okay? Then we’ll go to bed,” the guard said in his softest tone, knowing the little boy was confused and grumpy.

 

That, apparently, was not the answer Louis was looking for. “Dada?” Louis asked again, crying harder.

 

“It’s okay, bud, it’s okay. I have a surprise for you at the hotel!” Alberto promised, urging Phil to make the two-minute drive one that lasted thirty seconds. Alberto’s promise meant nothing to Louis, the boy continuing to cry loudly, tears falling onto his stuffed friends.

 

Alberto jumped out of the car once they arrived to the back entrance of the hotel, quickly picking Louis up, making sure the boy had a hold on his stuffed animals. He grabbed the diaper bag in one hand and the little boy in the other before heading in. Leo was waiting at the elevator, eyes opening wide as he saw Alberto with the wildly crying boy. He couldn’t jam the elevator button quick enough.

 

“Daddy,” Louis cried, as if that would magically make the man appear.

 

The elevator quickly opened and Alberto thanked the heavens above as he stepped in. Just a few more seconds.

 

“I know, I know. I’ve got an amazing surprise for you upstairs,” he said conversationally, continuing to bounce the boy in his arms. Once upstairs, he made his way to the room he knew Louis would be staying in. He was thankful that the floor was only the band and their closest guards and staff, otherwise he was sure they’d be getting lots of noise complaints.

 

Sliding the room key into the slot, Alberto pushed the door open, knowing everything would soon be okay when he saw the room lit up brightly.

 

“Why’s my sweet boy crying?” Alberto heard a familiar voice ask.

 

Louis opened his eyes wide at the sound of that voice, wondering if he was hallucinating or just really tired.

 

Nick walked into the front part of the hotel room from a room that was further back with a smile on his face, arms outstretched.

 

Louis’ face crumpled with confusion and relief, crying more as he let out an anguished, “papa!”

 

“Come here, baby boy. No more crying, papa’s here,” Nick cooed, scooping Louis out of Alberto’s arms. The guard put the diaper bag on the front table and gave the dom a quick salute before walking out and shutting the door.

 

“Papa, my papa,” Louis repeated, nuzzling his tear soaked face into the man’s shoulder.

 

“That’s right, my Louis. Papa’s right here, it’s okay,” Nick reached down for the diaper bag with one hand before walking them back to the bedroom. He could feel that Louis had wet his diaper and wanted to get the boy changed and in bed as soon as possible. Tomorrow would be a long day for them.

 

“Why papa?” Louis asked, confused as to why the man was there.

 

“Papa needs your help, love. Will you be papa’s best helper?” Nick asked with a smile, unzipping Louis’ sleeper.

 

“I help, papa,” Louis said nodding, sticking Dusty’s soft foot into his mouth.

 

Nick’s smile faded to a look of slight disgust as he saw the boy happily sucking on the well-travelled stuffed animal, grabbing a pacifier out of the bag and placing it in the boy’s mouth.

 

“I’m so happy to hear that, you’ll be the best helper ever. Now let’s get all cozy in bed and we’ll talk some more tomorrow,” Nick said as he strapped Louis into his night diaper. The door to the hotel room opened much to Nick’s confusion.

 

“Just me, loves,” a soft female voice said. Anne walked into the bedroom with a bottle in her hand.

 

Louis squealed, spitting out his pacifier when he saw the woman. “Nana!”

 

“My sweet baby boy,” Anne cooed with a smile, placing the bottle on the bedside table and walking over to Louis. “I heard a sad little dear in the hallway, so I made a special bottle up for him.” Louis hugged the woman once she was close enough, climbing up so he was pressed against her side. Anne pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, rubbing his soft, bare skin.

 

“No daddy,” Louis said sadly, looking up at the woman with slightly teary eyes.

 

“Oh little love, it’s okay! Daddy will be here tomorrow. Let’s get you all nice and ready for bed then we can talk,” Anne said, grabbing the fleece footie pajamas that Nick was offering her and getting Louis dressed. “Let’s lay with papa, and drink our bottle,” Anne suggested, Louis immediately crawling to lie on Nick’s lap, his much smaller body molded against the older man’s.

 

Anne handed Nick the bottle, the man guiding it to Louis’ lips and rubbing his belly when the little started sucking.

 

“Your papa’s going to need lots of help tomorrow, we’re going to have a big surprise for daddy. He’s going to love it so much,” Anne said, talking soothingly to the little boy who was quickly falling asleep. A warm bottle did wonders, as she knew.

 

“That’s right, my special boy is going to help papa make daddy very very happy,” Nick agreed. He couldn’t believe that he had his own perfect little boy to make tomorrow the most special day of Harry’s life.

 

\----------------

Louis woke up relatively late the next morning. He didn’t want to wake his papa up, so he lay there and just stared at the man. His papa’s face was all covered in little hairs, and Louis couldn’t help but reach a hand out to touch it. Louis giggled at the way it felt, all prickly and weird.

 

“Touching papa’s stubble?” Nick asked, laughing as he opened his eyes to the beautiful sight of his beaming little boy.

 

“Papa, why do you have fur? Will I grow some?” Louis asked, placing one last pat to Nick’s face before letting go.

 

“No, baby, you won’t ever have to worry about getting hair like papa! It’s called facial hair, papa and daddy just usually shave it off.” Nick knew that a percentage of littles never grew facial or pubic hair, it was just the way things were.

 

Louis nodded, seemingly unfazed by that bit of information. Nick sat up, knowing they should get their day started.

 

“All right, let’s get you in a bubble bath so papa can tell you about our fun day,” Nick said, grabbing the hotel phone and dialing down to room service. “Hi, yeah, can we get a kettle of warm water, an order of French toast and scrambled eggs. Oh, and a glass of orange juice. Sure, yeah. Thank you!”

 

Once Louis was in the bath, playing happily with his toys, Nick began to talk.

 

“We’ve got a very special day today. Can you be my good listener?” Nick asked as he soaped up a washcloth. Louis looked up to Nick with wide, eager eyes, nodding. “Thanks, love. Do you know what a proposal is?”

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“Do you know what getting married is?” Nick tried again, stroking Louis’ cheek in fondness at the boy’s nodding. “Well, papa’s asking daddy to marry him today!”

 

Louis gasped, “Papa and daddy have wedding today?”

 

“Not yet, little cub. Papa’s going to ask daddy if he wants to marry me, and then we’ll have our wedding in a few months,” Nick explained.

 

“Okay. How do I help?”

 

“Well, papa’s going to have daddy go on a scavenger hunt, and the last prize is you! Then I need you to take daddy somewhere once he’s with you. It’s very easy! Just you being my smart boy and helping papa. And you get to spend the night with nana! We’ve got you a nice comfy crib all made up in her and your grandpa’s room. You get to meet your grandma and other grandpa too!” Nick gave Louis a second to process everything he said.

 

“Do I tell daddy the surprise?” Louis asked.

 

Nick fought his urge to scream… barely. Just barely. “No no no, love! It’s a very very very big secret. Will you pinky promise that you’ll keep it a secret?”

 

“Pinky promise? Yeah, papa. Pinky promise,” Louis repeated, holding his wet pinky out. It was a sealed deal; Louis wouldn’t tell his daddy.

 

Louis was dressed in a light blue onesie and soft black shorts, Nick setting him on the couch as he went to answer the hotel worker at the door. After they’d finished their food, Nick settled with Louis on his lap. Unfortunately, he only had a few minutes to spare before he had to head off. It was almost noon, and the proposal was planned for six. Harry was headed to the airport, and things were going exactly as they should. This was a huge day for their whole family; he knew Louis would definitely need a long nap, and Anne promised she’d deliver on that.

 

Speaking of Anne… “Can we come in, loves?” Anne asked from where she was standing at the front door of the room.

 

“Are you good, Lou?” Nick murmured, looking into the boy’s eyes. Louis nodded, simply curling himself closer to Nick’s chest.

 

“Yeah, all good,” Nick said to Anne, the woman smilingly in understanding. She opened the door, a cautious Gemma, Robin, Eileen, and Peter walked into the room behind her, waiting for her to act.

 

“Lou, dear, I have some people who want to say hi. Is that okay?” Anne asked, moving to sit next to Nick and pressing a huge kiss to her grandson’s cheek. She knew this would be a big moment for Louis, and wanted him to feel comfortable when meeting everyone. He had, of course, met Gemma and Robin on many occasions, but not while he was little.

 

Louis hesitated before nodding, grabbing his nana’s hand in one of his. Anne gave him an encouraging smile before waving her free hand to the group.

 

“Hey bud,” Robin said, leaning down and patting Louis on the back easily. “Nick, how are you? Ready for the big day?”

 

Both Louis and Nick were relieved that the attention was immediately taken off of the little.

 

“About as ready as I can be; I’ve everything set besides my lovely groom. He’s taking off any minute, so he should be here in about an hour. Does everyone know what they’re to do?” Nick asked.

 

“As if we had a chance to not know what we’re doing. It’s all you’ve talked about for weeks, if not months,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes. She took a seat on the couch on Nick’s open side, Louis slightly turning so he could see her. “Hey Lou, ready for today?” Gemma asked in a sweet voice, giving Louis the signature Styles smile.

 

Louis’ always liked Gemma, she reminded him a lot of Harry. She was a gad, but she’d always been just as sweet and loving as Harry.

 

“Daddy and papa are getting married,” Louis said to her in an excited, but quiet voice. He peeked up at her, cheek leaning against Nick’s toned chest.

 

Gemma smiled at him dazzlingly, “That’s right! It’s going to be so much fun, isn’t it?”

 

Louis nodded, smiling back at her. “Then cuddles in bed forever! Sophia said papa and daddy won’t leave bed after they get married, and I’m gonna stay with them.”

 

The adults in the room choked back their laughter. They were all fondly amused by how innocent Louis was, especially those who hadn’t seen him in such a young mindset before.

 

“Lots of cuddles to go around with your goofy daddies,” Robin said. “Now, are we getting this show on the road? Don’t want to leave anything to chance.”

 

“Yeah, let me get dressed and grab everything I need. Papa’s going to get up now angel, stay right here with nana,” Nick said, kissing the little boy on the lips before standing up. Louis scurried under Anne’s arm, burrowing himself closer to the familiar woman.

 

“Dear, you have two special people who want to meet you!” Anne said in an excited voice. Louis looked up to where his other set of grandparents stood. He’d never met them before, honestly didn’t even know what they looked like before his papa showed him pictures of them.

 

“Hi little love, I’m your grandma! I’m so excited to meet you, could you give grandma a hug?” Eileen said, moving in front of Louis. Her gray hair was cut into a bob, her eyes just as warm and loving as Anne’s. Louis stood up and hugged the woman. He’d already jumped the hurdle of being terrified of grandmas with his nana, so he knew that his papa’s mom would be just as awesome as her.

 

“Now you have two grandmas to spoil you! We’re going to have such a fun day, love,” Anne said. Louis let out a little giggle at the mention of being spoiled; his nana was always so much fun to be around and she was so nice to him. It made him feel good.

 

“Love grandmas,” Louis mumbled into Eileen’s embrace.

 

“What about grandpas?” a happy, gruff voice questioned. Louis stepped back to take a look at his grandpa. Peter Grimshaw was a tall, buff man with soft eyes and a smile constantly gracing his face.

 

“’ve never had a grandpa,” Louis answered quietly, thoughtfully. He’d never really thought about that fact that he never saw family outside of his mum and sisters.

 

“Looks like I’m the best grandpa ever then! Come give me a hug, bud,” Peter said, opening his arms up for Louis to move into. Louis decided he liked grandpas if they all gave that good of hugs.

 

“Dad, you ready to go?” Nick asked, peeking his head into the room. Louis was back making himself comfortable on the couch between the three women like he belonged there. It made Nick’s heart soar.

 

“Both Robin and I are ready to go,” Peter confirmed.

 

“Come here baby,” Nick said opening his arms up. Louis got up to hug his papa, squeezing him tightly. “You’re my brave boy, thank you lovely. Remember what we do when we see daddy?”

 

“I don’t tell him the secret and I take him upstairs so we can all get married!”

 

Nick chuckled, “That’s right, we’re all going to get married. Now we’re going to be good for Gemma, grandma, and nana and have lots of fun. Give me a kiss, baby.”

 

Louis complied leaning up to give his papa one last squeeze and a kiss. He was instantly distracted by his grandma’s words.

 

“Your nana told me you like crafts, I brought some paper and glitter so we can make some cool cards!” Eileen said, winking at Nick as he and the men exited the room.

 

The four of them set up shop at the big table stationed in the corner of the room, Eileen and Anne setting up the glitter, glue, markers, and paper while Gemma talked with Louis a bit.

 

“How have your daddies been treating you, Lou? Is my brother being nice to you?” Gemma asked, unable to quench her curiosity.

 

“Best daddies in the world! But daddy doesn’t like ice cream,” Louis said with a frown.

 

Gemma let out a gasp, “He doesn’t give you ice cream?” She knew how much of a health nut both Nick and Harry were, so this didn’t come as any surprise to her.

 

“No ice cream for Louis. Only when I get a special treat,” Louis answered, dramatic sigh perfectly placed.

 

“Well, aunt Gemma LOVES ice cream! We can go get some tonight, how does that sound?” Gemma asked. She was totally going to be Louis’ favorite relative.

 

“Really aunt Gemma? With sprinkles?” Louis asked, eyes wide.

 

“Of course! What’s ice cream without sprinkles?” Gemma answered, laughing at the way Louis hugged her tightly.

 

“All right, sugar monsters, everything’s all set up! I think your daddy and papa would love it if you made them a card,” Anne suggested, sitting down at the table next to Anne.

 

Louis was happy to have people around him all day, as it didn’t allow him to really think about anything sad. Nana had just changed his diaper; he was dressed in his onesie and lying against the woman in the big bed. It was time to nap, but first he had to ask her a question. In his increasingly infantile mindset, it was a bit difficult to get his thoughts together, but he’d try.

 

Rubbing Lacy’s soft fur through his fingers, he spoke. “Nana?”

 

“Yes, dear?” Anne could tell that Louis had been thinking, and was patiently waiting for him to start speaking about whatever was bothering her.

 

“I don’t marry papa and daddy? But they still love me?” Louis asked. He didn’t know how to quite describe the feeling in his tummy, but he didn’t like it. It was impossible not to feel uneasy thinking about whether or not his daddies would decide they liked each other, but didn’t want him anymore.

 

Anne spoke carefully, “Papa and daddy are getting married because they’re both daddies and that’s what grown ups do when they like someone very much. But they still love you more than anything in the world!”

 

“But they don’t leave?”

 

“They will never leave you, dear. Getting married doesn’t change that, they will always be with you. Your grandpa and I just got married four years ago, and we still love aunt Gemma and your daddy very much, right?”

 

Louis thought for a second, “You still love daddy, but you are married. Daddy and papa will love Louis even though they get married.”

 

Anne nodded with a smile, “That’s right! Daddy and papa will always always love Louis.”

 

If nana said it, then it had to be true, right?

 

\---------------

Harry ran into the gorgeous entrance of the Notre Dame, having followed his fourth clue of “ _Whether your hair turns gray, you evolve into a **hunchback,** or your curls go away, I will always love you.” _If Harry hadn’t watched the Disney movie two days ago, then he would’ve never guessed to go to the Notre Dame, but here he was. He grabbed the clue from the starstruck tour attendant at the front of the building before heading back outside. “ _They always say the grass is always greener on the other side, but I’d have to say our **garden** is as green and gorgeous as could be. I never thought my life could be this full, but I’m living like **royalty** and don’t think I could be more thankful. This is your last clue; enter this space and find the most precious part of our lives, and then you will be lead to your final destination.”_

Harry exhaled, running his hand hand through his curls. Think, think, think. Nick had bolded a few key words on every clue. He couldn’t help but get a bit teary eyed when he realized where he thought Nick was. It was a place he’d mentioned a few years ago when they first got together; he hoped he was right.

 

A short walk later, he entered Le Palais Royal and couldn’t help the shivers that rolled down his spine. He saw Alberto before he saw Louis, the guard unable to miss due to his large size. Ah, the most precious part of their lives; their sweet little boy. Harry was hoping that was what, or who, Nick meant.

 

“Hi angel,” Harry said with a smile as he walked over to Louis. The boy hopped up from where he was sitting, Harry getting a full look at the little boy’s suit.

 

“Daddy! Look at my suit, it’s uncomfy, but nana said I look nice,” Louis said as he pointed to his outfit. Harry pulled him into a tight hug, pressing a kiss on his forehead. Harry didn’t notice that Alberto had walked away, the man heading to let Nick know that he’d arrived.

 

“Nana is right, you’re my handsome little boy! You look so nice, sweetheart.”

 

“Thanks daddy! Let’s go,” Louis said, grabbing the man’s hand and pulling him to where they’d practiced.

 

“Where are we going, angel?” Harry asked with a smile.

 

Louis stopped, looking at the man indignantly. “Daddy, it’s a surprise! I pinky promised.”

 

“Ah, we can’t break a pinky promise.” Louis nodded at the man’s answer and continued to pull him along. Louis’ grin was huge by this point, unable to mask his excitement at knowing how happy his daddy was going to be.

 

They walked through the building, eventually making it to the door that Louis knew he was supposed to take his daddy through. Harry let out a little sob when his hopes were confirmed.

 

Louis lead him into Les Jardins du Palais Royal, one of the most beautiful places he’d ever seen. The garden was lit up by twinkling fairy lights, the bright colors of the flowers and green grass vivid under the setting sun and lights. Harry was brought into the middle of the large grassy area, still drinking in the gorgeous sight before him.

 

“How is it that I’m standing in one of the most breathtaking places on earth, but my eyes can’t stray from you, my love?” Harry gasped and turned around at the sound of Nick’s voice. The man was standing in a suit, a smile on his face.

 

“Well, now that you’re here the garden doesn’t hold as much appeal,” Harry said with a small smile. Louis let out a giggle and scampered off to where he knew his nana was waiting for him.

 

Nick drew him into a soft kiss, linking their hands together and letting out a deep breath before speaking.

 

“I’ve always thought people were much like clay models. We’re made all the same, gray clay figures that have the ability to be molded and sculpted as we grow up. Six years ago I would tell you I knew exactly who I was, what the final form of the clay Nick Grimshaw looked like. Then, a short five years ago, I met you. I was lovesick, enamored, in complete adoration of you. You were 15, and I knew that I could never meet someone more loving than you. No one is as caring and smart as you. You take my insecurities and turn them into something beautiful; you give me the confidence to know that I’m a good man, a good father, and I know I could never doubt anything you say. You’ve taken my clay figure and turned it into someone that I never knew I could be; you pressed a handprint on my heart and changed me into the best version of myself. You know that saying, everything you touch turns to gold? That’s you; you bring light and joy and a renewed passion for life into everything you do.

 

The best part of my life is being able to have a son with you, and I couldn’t be more proud than watching you be the best daddy on earth. Louis and I are so lucky to have you. I can say without a doubt that you are the most caring, driven, compassionate man that I have ever and will ever meet,” Nick moves to get down to one knee, taking the ring box out of his pocket. “And would love nothing more than to be able to call you my husband. Would you do me the honor of marrying me, Harry Styles?”

 

Harry had been sobbing the whole time, and seeing Nick on one knee really solidified the fact that he did have the most wonderful life he could ever dream of. “Yes, yes, my love, a million yeses!” Nick placed the ring on Harry’s outstretched finger before standing up and pulling him into a searing kiss. They boy laughed into the kiss as they heard screams erupt around them, Harry opening his eyes to see his bandmates as well as his and Nick’s families. He felt Louis before he heard him, the little boy running and squeezing his arms around them.

 

“We’re going on vacation!” Louis screamed happily.

 

Harry let out a shocked laugh, unsure of why that was the first thing the little boy had said. “Where are we going, baby?”

 

“Niall said you and papa are getting married at the beach if I say I want you to!”

 

Niall let out a cackle, ducking as Nick threw the ring box at his head.

 

“I think Niall’s just being a bit silly, but we will definitely go on vacation soon, love,” Nick said with a warning glare at the man.

 

“My boy is getting married!” Anne said with tears shining in her eyes as she moved in to hug Harry.

 

“Love you, mum,” Harry said with a smile.

 

“Love you more, now let’s get some pictures!” Cal had flown out to take the pictures specially, knowing that Harry would love if he were the one taking their engagement photos. It was a kindness that Harry appreciated, another element to add to the already perfect night.

 

Louis loved seeing how happy his daddies were. So he took pictures. Lots of pictures. Pictures with just his daddies, then with the boys, then with nana, then with grandma. Pictures with everyone on the face of the planet, it seemed. He couldn’t help it when he started to cry; he was tired, they’d been taking pictures forever and he just wanted to go to bed.

 

“Oh, love, it’s okay,” Harry cooed, picking Louis up. The boy automatically squeezed his hands around the man’s neck, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

 

“Let’s get my sweet boy back to the hotel so we can go to bed, hm?” Anne said, moving over to the little family as soon as she saw Louis start to cry.

 

“Nana and grandpa are going to take you back to the hotel and get you all set up for bed, love. Daddy and I love you very much and we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Nick asked, wanting to communicate again to Louis that they wouldn’t be spending the night with him. Nick had a dinner planned at the Eiffel Tower and rented out a suite at another hotel; it was a night for just him and Harry.

 

“Love you,” Louis said through a yawn, pressing a kiss to both of his daddies’ lips. Harry transferred the boy to a waiting Alberto’s arms.

 

“I’ve got you, buddy, you can sleep now,” Alberto said quietly as he started to walk out of the garden. Louis nodded sleepily, falling asleep quickly once he knew he was safe.

 

He didn’t wake up until he felt cool air against his skin. Letting out a whimper, he cracked one eye open.

 

“It’s just nana, love. I’m getting you all ready for bed and then we’ll get you in your crib,” Anne said soothingly as she continued changing the boy’s diaper and getting him into pajamas. Louis grumbled as he had to stand up and get into the crib, but let out a happy sigh once he was snuggled up with Lacy and Dusty.

 

He slept late the next morning, Anne and Robin both having ample time to shower and get ready for the day before Anne decided it was time to wake him up.

 

“Louis, dear, it’s time to get up,” Anne said quietly, unlocking the side of the crib and moving it down.

 

“Dada?” Louis asked with a whimper as he started to stretch.

 

“No, love, it’s nana. We’re going to go get some yummy breakfast, then daddy and papa will be back.”

 

Louis yawned, laying there while he got his diaper changing, trying to wake up.

 

“Let’s stay in our PJs for breakfast so we’re all nice and comfy!” Anne said, smiling at the way Louis let out a happy sound. His teeth were soon brushed and they were ready to head down to breakfast. Alberto met them in the hallway, giving Louis a hug when the boy moved over to him.

 

Louis was put into a highchair in the hotel restaurant, their table being both sets of his grandparents, Sophia, Liam, Niall, Alberto, and Phil. The waiter brought over an activity sheet and crayons with a knowing smile.

 

The little was distracted throughout the meal, focused on drawing instead of the conversations being had around him. He was finishing up the last of his breakfast bottle when he felt kisses being pressed all over his face.

 

“Hi baby,” Nick said with a smile. Louis let out a gasp, immediately squirming around in his highchair with his arms raised.

 

“Papa! Up!” Louis demanded, the man chuckling as he unstrapped Louis and placed him on his hip.

 

“How was your night with nana and grandpa? Were you a good boy?”

 

Louis nodded, pressing little kisses onto Nick’s neck from where he was nuzzled into him.

 

“He’s always a good boy, I love spending time with him,” Anne said with a smile.

 

“Well, I’m going to steal my sweet boy back now so his daddy and I can spend some time with him. Say bye bye to everyone, love,” Nick said, swaying a bit to get the boy to lift his head up.

 

“Bye bye,” Louis said with a wave and small smile before ducking his head back into Nick’s shoulder.

 

Leo waved off Alberto when he started standing up, the man not having a chance to eat yet. The other guard followed the pair into the elevator, making sure they got upstairs safely.

 

Once in the room, Harry walked out of the bathroom with a big smile on his face.

 

Harry let out a happy gasp, “Hi angel! I missed you so much, did you have a good night?”

 

Louis smiled shyly before tucking his thumb into his mouth and nodding.

 

“Are we feeling shy this morning?” Harry asked as Nick placed the little onto the bed. Nick began to unzip the boy’s onesie, tickling his tummy as he did.

 

Louis nodded, reaching over to grab Lacy and place her near his head. He didn’t know why, but sometimes he just felt bashful. He reverted back into himself and didn’t feel like talking much. His daddies were always okay with it, and they knew he wasn’t much of a talker. He liked when they talked to him in nice voices, and when he was feeling shy they seemed to do it a bit more. It was a win-win situation.

 

“We’re going to take a bubbly bath and get all nice and clean!” Harry said, pressing a kiss to the now naked boy and helping him up off of the bed. Harry walked him into the bathroom, helping him get into the tub safely while Nick grabbed bath toys from Louis’ bag.

 

Nick’s attention was drawn to a vibrating in the bag, shocked that someone was calling Louis’ phone. Everyone who knew Louis ended up calling Nick and Harry as they knew Louis didn’t use his phone anymore.

 

Nick picked up, “Hello?”

 

An articulate woman answered Nick in a voice that he did not recognize. “Hello, this is Candice with Barclays Bank. Am I speaking with Mr. Tomlinson?”

 

“Hi Candice, this is Nick Grimshaw, I’m his dominant. Is there something I can help you with?”

 

The woman didn’t miss a beat, “Mr. Grimshaw, hello. As you’re both valued customers, I have the authorization to speak with you on confidential matters of Mr. Tomlinson’s account. Does that sound all right with you?”

 

“Of course, I’m here to assist with anything you may need.”

 

“Very well, thank you Mr. Grimshaw. I’m calling in response to a 9,000 pound overdraft charge on one of Mr. Tomlinson’s cards. Our system didn’t flag it for some reason, but it came up in my system today. As a valued customer, we have never had any problems with Mr. Tomlinson, so we were calling to see if we should’ve flagged this activity.”

 

Nick felt his stomach sink, “Can you tell me where this money was spent and what was purchased?”

 

“Not a problem, Mr. Grimshaw. Let me just pull up that information… All right, here we are. 1,270 pounds were spent at a Sainsbury’s in Doncaster, 271 was spent at what looks to be a bar, 2393 on airfare to Barbados which is an island in the Caribbean. Would you like me to continue reading the charges to you, Mr. Grimshaw?”

 

The man closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. “No no, that’s all right. What’s the process of getting it paid off and cancelled?”

 

“Well, you can transfer money from his main savings account to pay off the bill, and then I can simply cancel the card. Is that what you’d like to do?”

 

“Yes, please. I’d appreciate it,” Nick said, his mind racing as he struggled to figure out what the hell they were going to do. He thought Louis cancelled the card?

 

“No problem, Mr. Grimshaw, it’s my pleasure. Is there anything else you need right now?”

 

“No, that’s it. Thank you for the call,” Nick said as he hung up the phone and made his way into the bathroom with bath toys in his hand.

 

Harry gave Nick a strange look, but smiled excitedly anyways. “There’s papa! Do you think he got lost, he took forever and ever, didn’t he?”

 

Louis giggled loudly at Harry’s words, reaching a small hand out of the water to wave at Nick.

 

“I did get lost, daddy’s right! I brought some fun toys, though!”

 

“We can play with our toys for a few minutes before we get out,” Harry said as he handed the happy little boy the toys. Seeing Louis so happy broke Nick’s heart; he didn’t know what to do in this situation. He needed his mum.

 

“Hey loves, my mum just texted me, I’m going to head over to her room and I’ll be back in a jif,” Nick said as he pressed a kiss to Harry’s lips and Louis’ forehead.

 

He headed out into the hallway, sighing in relief as he saw Anne and his own mum walking up together. “Perfect timing, mums. Could we head into one of your rooms for a mo’?”

 

“Of course love,” Eileen said with a strange look. Once they were in the room and sat around a table, Nick began.

 

“We never really check Lou’s phone because everyone knows to just contact us, but I was digging through his bag at the same time that the bank called. His mum overdrafted 9,000 pounds on one of his cards. He told us he cancelled it, but he clearly didn’t. I cancelled the card and paid off the fees from his account, that’s not taking too much control, is it? It’s just… hard knowing the lines without an ABC. He clearly isn’t in the mindset to be taking care of things himself; H and I know that, so we want to do everything for him. I just don’t know if I went too far.”

 

Anne lets out a sigh, “I knew that woman was no good from the moment I met her. I’d love to whack her quite hard. But love, don’t worry, you did the right thing. He needs you.”

 

“That’s right, dear. He loves you and Harry so very much, he trusts you with his whole life. That being said, you need to tell him about the call, maybe he knows something. If he doesn’t want his mother to have access to his account, you need to confirm that she doesn’t. If he wants her to have access, then you need to make sure that she does. You haven’t ABCed, so making sure that his financial needs and desires are met is vital to your relationship.”

 

“Exactly; until you ABC he is legally in charge of his own finances. Hopefully he’ll be ready soon, but that may be a topic you need to breach with him. Who knows if he’s even thought about it with how little his headspace is,” Anne wondered.

 

“I’m going to go talk to him and Harry, thank you both. It’s hard to even fathom that my little boy had such a tough go of things growing up. I don’t want to even have to discuss the leech that is his mother. He’s been so happy.”

 

Eileen reached a consoling hand out to her son, “Love, he’s still going to be happy. Things can’t always be sunshine and rainbows, and Louis will look to you and Harry to help get him through. Have faith in yourself, he loves you and needs you.”

 

Nick nodded, hugging both of the women before leaving the room. He smiled at the sight of a diapered Louis lying on the bed, pacifier in his mouth as he sucked contentedly. Harry was giving him a lotion massage, relaxing the boy completely.

 

“Comfy there, little cub?” Nick asked as he sat down near Louis’ head. The little nodded, lifting his head up so it was now resting in Nick’s lap. He reached a lazy arm back for Nick’s hand, placing it in his hair. “Are you our spoiled little boy?” Nick asked with a coo, scratching the boy’s scalp in a gentle way.

 

“A sweet, loved little boy,” Harry corrected with a smile. They continued in the same way for a few more minutes until Louis was completely boneless. Harry went to the TV to turn on Tangled, which Anne had told him Louis did not finish the day before. He wrapped the little up in a blanket without putting clothes on him just yet.

 

“Daddy and I are going into the other room, love, we’ll be right back,” Nick said with a kiss to Louis’ hair as they walked into the living room portion of the hotel room. He quickly filled Harry in, the man having the same sentiments of the mothers. They needed to talk to Louis. The problem was figuring out what the best time was; should they do it now, or wait?

 

Louis let out a grumble when Harry turned off the TV.

 

“Hey love, can you be a good listener?” Nick asked as him and Harry settled themselves next to Louis on the bed.

 

Louis nodded, resting his head on Nick’s shoulder.

 

“If you want to stop talking at any time, just tell us and we will, love. Do you remember when your mum spent lots of money on your credit card?” Nick asked carefully.

 

Louis nodded stiffly, not moving his head from where it rested against his papa.

 

“Can you tell us what you did afterwards, love? I know you said you weren’t going to give your mum any more money,” Harry asked.

 

“I, um, I texted her not to use it anymore. So that means it was cancelled, cuz I didn’t want her to use it,” Louis said, sounding unsure.

 

Nick and Harry shared a look over his head. Their poor, sweet boy. They didn’t understand how he made it this far; it honestly scared them to think about how he lived without them. He was so innocent and unknowing; it hurt their hearts to think about someone taking advantage of that.

 

“I’m very glad that you were brave and told her not to use it anymore,” Harry praised, “but she didn’t stop using the card. She spent a lot of your money, love.”

 

Louis’ eyes filled up with tears, “Do I have no more money? Do you and papa have enough money for me to stay?”

 

Nick and Harry were quick to console the boy. “No no no sweetheart, don’t cry. Daddy and I have enough money, don’t worry about that. We just wanted to tell you that she was using your money still. It’s okay, everything’s okay and you still have money, but daddy and I don’t want you to worry about that. Grown ups should worry about money, love.”

 

“I don’t want her using my money,” Louis said in a small, sad voice.

 

“That’s why papa and I wanted to talk to you, love. If you want us to, we can make it so she can’t use your money. Do you think that’s a good idea?” Harry asked. It was difficult to be talking to Louis about such grown up things knowing that he didn’t completely understand what they were saying.

 

“I trust you and papa,” Louis said, letting out a small yawn.

 

“Okay sweetheart, we’ll take care of it. Let’s take a nice nap, hm?” Harry said, starting to pull back the sheets on the bed. A diaper-clad Louis attached himself to Nick the second he laid down, making himself comfortable on his warm papa. For the first time in his life, he knew that things would be taken care of. Nothing could have felt better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed, it was so special for me to write and I would love to know your thoughts. comments get me writing faster!
> 
> follow me on twitter and we can talk there, too :) @needaherofic


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :) warning for some harsh words towards Louis in the beginning of the chapter.

You know the saying “when it rains, it pours”? Yeah… Harry did too. It was his life right now. The day of the last show started off as well as it could have; they didn’t have time to go home, having to go straight to Wembley. But it was okay; they’d be in their own bed, and crib, that night. It was the final countdown. Unfortunately for everyone, the paparazzi were out in full force as they pulled up, screaming questions that no one needed to hear. Especially Louis. The boy was currently sobbing, surrounded by all of his bandmates. One extremely bold pap yelled out to ask if the boys were never going to talk again after tonight, and Louis’ stressed, sick of tour brain just burst.

 

“Lou, of course we’re going to hangout! Perrie and I love doing art with you,” Zayn attempted to soothe. Louis’ eyes were bloodshot and puffy, tears still streaming down his face. He was sat on both Nick and Harry’s laps, the daddies pressing kisses into his hair as his three other bandmates promised they’d never stop talking to him. Which was true. Sure, the public perception of the band being inseparable wasn’t fully true. On tour, yes, they did live out of each other’s pockets, but just like any other group of friends… they needed space. They were growing up and carving their own life path out, it was perfectly understandable. But the notion that they would never talk again was idiotic and clearly just a way to get them riled up. The pap succeeded.

 

“See, angel? Niall, Liam, and Zayn love you very very much. They’ll be your friends forever and ever! It’s been a long day, daddy would love to nap with his little boy,” Harry said, smiling knowingly as Louis let out a perfectly placed yawn.

 

“Love my boys,” Louis said, waving to the trio as they left the room. The thought that they’d never talk to him again scared him. He loved those boys with his whole heart; living without them in his life was a scary thought.

 

Once the door shut, Harry stood up and moved over to Louis’ diaper bag. “Let’s get you all changed into a nice, new diaper and then we can take a little nap.”

 

“We sleep at home?” Louis asked.

 

“Yes, we do! Papa washed your sheets and put soft blankies in your crib, it’ll be so nice and comfy!” Nick said happily. Harry and Louis hadn’t slept at home in a month. More than that… Nick and Harry had slept without Louis in their bed for two nights. Like any loving set of parents, they adored sleeping with their boy, but… they needed their private time. And it goes without saying that Louis needed his. Sure, he loved being around his daddy and papa, but there were always ten or fifteen other people surrounding him. For a shy, anxious little boy, that wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences.

 

Once Louis was changed and dressed into a onesie and soft shorts, he laid down on top of Harry and fell asleep quickly. He couldn’t have been more excited to finally go home! Fortunately, the end of tour sped by for him. Louis fell asleep to his daddy humming softly underneath him; like couldn’t get much better than this.

 

Life could get worse, though. Louis woke up to loud voices right outside of their dressing room. He sat up and shook his still sleeping daddy awake.

 

“Daddy, what is that?” Louis asked in a scared voice. Harry was immediately alert at the sound of his mum’s voice. She was speaking so loudly that it was impossible not to hear her, even through the thick door.

 

“I don’t know what you’ve ever done to think that you deserve the right to see him. You’ve done enough damage to him,” Anne yelled.

 

“I raised him! You have no right to tell me what to do. He’s got no doms, that means that he’s still mine and his money is mine,” a shrill voice said.

 

Louis let an involuntary whimper out at the sound of the voice, one that he grew up terrified of. The little huddled into his daddy, shaking like a leaf as he realized who was standing right outside of those doors.

 

“Scared,” Louis choked out from where he was bundled into Harry’s chest. And he was scared; he was absolutely terrified. What was his mum doing there?

 

Louis’ scared thoughts cleared a bit as he heard a familiar and comforting voice speak.

 

“He does have doms, ones that have treated him better in the few months they’ve been with him than you did in 21 years spent with him. You should be ashamed of yourself for treating such a loving boy so terribly,” Nick said. He’d been grabbing some food to bring back to the room when he heard Anne’s voice and hurried back. He had absolutely no idea why Louis’ mum was there or who the hell let her backstage.

 

“You’re going to realize soon that he’s worthless, just a pathetic baby. God, the amount of wash I had to do while he was growing up and wetting his pants and his bed like an infant. I had a chronic headache from the way he’d cry constantly. You can’t tell me that he isn’t useless, I wouldn’t believe you,” Jay said, a look of pure disgust on her face.

 

Before Nick could even say a word, a loud slap resounded through the hallway.

 

“Shut your bloody mouth, you evil witch. How dare you think you were ever suited to raise a child? Let alone three of them?” Anne raged, fists clenched. To see a woman so heinous that she should exist on a TV show character was absolutely maddening. To know that she was the biological mother of her sweet, little grandson made her furious. The woman deserved to rot in jail.

 

The sound of pounding feet made its way through the hallway before Alberto and Phil were in front of the trio.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Alberto asked, face incredulous.

 

“I’m here to get my money and my son back, none of you have any right over him or his money,” Jay said, puffing her chest up as she stared up at the tall, buff guard. A bright red handprint was visible on her cheek, much to Alberto’s amusement.

 

In the dressing room, Louis willed himself not to cry. He found himself in the most adult headspace he’d been in since before tour began. He needed to end this.

 

“I need to talk to her,” Louis said quietly, sitting up and getting off of Harry’s lap.

 

Harry nodded, “Papa and I will be right beside you. We love you so very much.”

 

Louis smiled up at him, lips tight, but eyes shining with sincerity. “I know.”

 

The fighting in the hallway stopped once the door opened, everyone looking to where Louis and Harry stood. Nick immediately moved over to the pair, both him and Harry standing behind Louis.

 

“Look who it is, my selfish son. Do you realize how much you owe me? How much effort it took to raise not one, but three babies?” Jay started mockingly. It was like she was a broken record; everything she said was always the same. It was always about her, everything was.

 

Louis took a deep breath before looking at her. “I don’t owe you anything. If I’ve learned anything over the past few months, it’s that I deserved more, not you.”

 

Jay let out an incredulous laugh, “That’s absolutely rich. It’s clear that you’ve been fed lies; you littles are just pathetic. I’ve been telling you this for years. Why would anyone want to have to take care of a helpless baby for more than the few years that they’re actually a baby? They wouldn’t. No one deserves to have a burden like you.“

 

Louis recoiled at the words that he’d heard for years. That he was pathetic, useless, unwanted. It hurt. He didn’t allow himself to think about her words, a sense of comfort and bravery slipping over him as he felt his papa slightly rubbing his back.

 

“They aren’t lying. You are. My daddy and papa love me. Forever. They pinky promised, and I believe them. They’re my family, not you. You’ve been mean to me and always hurt my feelings. But not anymore. I don’t need you. Goodbye forever.”

 

Louis took one last look at the woman before turning back into the dressing room. He knew his daddies would follow him, because that’s what daddies do. Once he heard the door close he exhaled deeply. He was finally free. He said what he had to say, and she’d never bug him anymore. She was gone. Forever.

 

Outside of the room, the entire security squad had shown up along with the police. Louis would never be hurt by the woman again if it was the last thing Alberto did. The boy deserved to close that chapter in his life. She didn’t deserve him.

 

Nick and Harry stood cautiously near the door, waiting to see Louis’ reaction. The boy was shaking slightly, and it took everything they had not to run over to him.

 

Bright blue eyes looked back at the men, Louis’ brow furrowed. “Want cuddles,” Louis said in a small voice.

 

The doms couldn’t move fast enough. Nick scooped the boy up in his arms before moving to the couch.

 

“Our sweet little boy,” Harry cooed, pressing kisses to Louis’ forehead. The little boy clasped his fingers together with his bandmate, Harry reaching a thumb up to stroke his hand.

 

“Daddy and papa love Louis forever. They promise,” Louis murmured, trying to work through the fears that have been brought to the surface by his mum. The woman brought out the worst of Louis’ self-consciousness and anxiety; he hadn’t felt like this in months.

 

“That’s right! Daddy and papa will always love their Louis. You’re our favorite little boy, we love you so very much,” Nick answered, slightly rocking Louis in his arms.

 

“They love Louis even though he’s not a big boy. He’s little, not useless,” Louis said. They could tell how deep he was regressing by the way he spoke about himself, but it was understood. His mum showing up was a mystery; how the hell did she get backstage? Why did she think she had any right to show there?

 

Harry quickly replied, “Daddy and papa love having you as our little boy. You make us whole, you complete our family. We love every thing about you, from your head to your sweet little toes.”

 

Louis giggled as Harry tickled his bare toes, a smile appearing on his face for the first time since his mum showed up.

 

“Daddy and papa are Louis’ family. They love Louis forever. Nana and grandma are Louis’ family too and they love Louis,” Louis looked up uncertainly as he asked this. Family was a big thing for him. It was a word that he’d always heard, but something he never felt. The boys were the closest family he’d ever had until now. Sure, it was nice to have brothers, but as a little he craved parental guidance, someone to look up to. And he never had that until now. Tonight was the first time he’d ever said that they were his family out loud… and it felt good.

 

“Nana and grandma love spoiling their sweet Louis. Daddy and papa love being your daddies, and you’re part of our family. You make our family whole. You’re so special to us, sweetheart.” Harry felt tears soaking his shirt as he spoke, Louis having crawled into his lap the moment he started replying to the boy’s verbalization of his fears.

 

“Tummy hurts,” Louis said, words muffled.

 

“My poor angel, let’s get you some yummy food to help you feel better,” Harry cooed. A knock sounded on the door before Anne peeked her head in.

 

“Can I come in, loves?” Anne asked quietly. Louis nodded his head from where it was resting on Harry’s chest, and Harry gave her a thumbs up. The woman moved over to the couch, taking a seat on the other side of Harry. “How are we doing, dear?”

 

Louis let out a soft whimper as he lifted his face to look at her. Anne immediately reached a hand out to wipe the mixture of snot and tears off of Louis’ face with her sweater sleeve, heart aching at the sight of such a happy boy looking so forlorn.

 

“My tummy feels funny,” Louis said, repeating his earlier sentiment. He didn’t know why his stomach was in so much pain, but he really didn’t like it.

 

“Why doesn’t nana go get you some food to help make you feel better? I know just the trick, love,” Anne said, pressing a soft kiss on Louis’ cheek before standing up.

 

“That’d be great, Anne. Could you grab a bottle from his diaper bag?” Nick asked, cautiously rubbing a hand on Louis’ stomach. Both he and Harry knew that the anxiety that had assaulted the boy that day was too much for him and causing him to feel sick. Harry was just hoping they could make it through the show. He’d never forgive Jay for ruining Louis’ last show; it just showed how heartless the woman was.

 

Anne was soon back with a bottle of ice water and a bowl of chicken noodle soup with crackers that Sarah quickly cooked up for the boy.

 

“Let’s drink slowly, love. We don’t want to hurt our tummy anymore, hm?” Nick directed as Harry brought the nipple to the little’s mouth. Louis nodded, taking slow sips as he listened to his daddies talk to nana about where they wanted to have their wedding. It brought his mind to a different place, something he was extremely happy about.

 

Louis finished his bottle, sitting up at Harry’s urging so he could eat the no longer steaming hot soup.

 

“Where do you want to go for daddy and papa’s wedding, angel?” Harry asked as Louis crawled into Nick’s lap.

 

“Beach and dolphins,” Louis said, pressing a kiss to Nick’s cheek.

 

Anne clapped her hands together, “Oh! A beach wedding. That would be so wonderful. We can rent out an entire resort, it would be perfect!”

Nick and Harry shared thoughtful looks. That could be perfect; private, sunny, and it would have enough room for everyone they loved. They’d have to start looking into islands and resorts.

 

“I think we can make that happen, darling. Papa would love to see you swim with dolphins! Now, let’s have a little soup and make our tummy feel better,” Nick said, kissing the boy’s cheek.

 

Anne couldn’t help but take pictures of the little family, Louis cuddled up on Nick’s lap while Harry fed their little boy soup. It was everything a mum could ever hope for; for her baby to have a baby of their own. She’d never seen Harry so happy, she knew this was his purpose in life… to have a little one of his own.

 

\--------------

Louis let out a grumble at the light that was visible behind his eyelids. He was so tired; all he wanted to do was sleep uninterrupted. He opened his eyes in disoriented anger when he felt someone touching him.

 

“No tears, love, it’s just papa. We’re finally home,” Nick said soothingly as he picked Louis up from his car seat.

 

“Wan’ crib,” Louis said drowsily, falling back asleep within seconds on the man’s shoulder.

 

Once Nick had Louis changed and put into pajamas, he slowly lowered him into the boy’s beloved crib. He and Harry shared smiles before pressing a kiss on the boy’s forehead, turning on the nightlight, and exiting the room.

 

Alone at last. Harry felt shivers roll down his spine as he felt Nick’s body against him in the shower; they were finally home. Nick would be home from work by the time they’d eaten breakfast most mornings, they had all of the time in the world to spend together. Nothing could feel better than that. Their little boy was asleep down the hall, and they had time to be together in the way that they only had been in unfamiliar hotel beds over the past month.

 

Dorothy was right; there’s no place like home.

 

\-------------

“Hey John, it’s Harry- Harry Styles. Do you have a minute to talk?” Harry asked. Louis was napping upstairs. They’d be home for five days, and the boy was relaxed and regressed. Harry had never seen him as happy as he was now.

 

“Hey Harry, of course. How are things going? Just get home?” John asked. John and Joey had a prior engagement on the night of the London show, declining Harry’s invitation when he asked. The dom was happy he didn’t tell Louis he invited them, as he knew the boy would be extremely upset if he got his hopes up.

“Things are going well, thanks. We got home almost a week ago. Lou has been so relaxed and happy; I’ve never seen him like this. It’s just… seeing him play alone every day breaks my heart. Do you have any play groups coming up?” Harry asked. Louis was definitely content, but only having his daddies to play with was probably something that’d get boring for him. Harry relayed to Nick how much fun Louis had with Joey, and they both agreed that the boy should have friends his own age.

 

“I completely understand; daddies can only be so fun. He’d definitely benefit from being around other littles. We actually have a group tomorrow afternoon at my place; there will be four little ones there including Joey, one of the little boys should be around Louis’ age, but they’re all great regardless. Is that something you’d be interested in?”

 

“I’m scared shitless, but I think he needs it. It’ll be good for him. It will.” Harry was trying to convince himself that this was what was good for the boy. Is this how parents felt when they sent their kid off to school for the first time?

 

John let out a sympathetic laugh, “Harry, man, it’ll be fine. You can leave at any time, and you’ll be right there. It’ll be really good for him, I promise.”

 

“Thanks mate, I don’t know what I would’ve done if we didn’t meet. Nick and I will bring him over tomorrow, just text me what I need to know, and send me any documents we need to fill out. I know you were mentioning NDAs.”

 

“Will do, have a good night and we’ll see you tomorrow,” John said warmly before hanging up.

 

Harry answered a few emails before hearing Louis let out a disoriented whimper from his crib as he woke up. He immediately stood up to head upstairs, not wanting the boy to be left alone for too long. Nick was out at a lunch with a colleague and would be home soon, and Harry was anxious to share the news that they’d be meeting some new potential friends for Louis tomorrow.

 

“Hi angel, did you have a nice nap?” Harry asked in an enthusiastic voice, smile plastered on his face as he walked over to unlock the crib.

 

Louis looked up at him with bright eyes, pacifier falling out of his mouth in his haste to reply. “Dada dada,” the little boy said happily, reaching a hand up for the man.

 

Harry cooed, reaching down to pick Louis up. “That’s right, dada’s here. Let’s get you all changed and comfy, then we can go play with some toys!”

 

Harry smiled at the sound of the garage opening and shutting, knowing how excited Louis would be to see his papa.

 

Louis was laying on his changing table in only a wet diaper when Nick walked in, the man smiling widely at the site of his two favorite people.

“Is that my sweet little boy?” Nick asked as he walked over, making sure he was close enough to catch the boy in case he rolled off in excitement as Harry was bent down grabbing a diaper.

 

“Pa!” Louis exclaimed, working hard to roll himself over to look at the man.

 

“Hi little love, did we just wake up from a nap?” Nick asked, stroking Louis soft belly with one of his large hands.

 

“He did, now we’re going to go play with some toys in the playroom!” Harry exclaimed as he stood up, pressing a kiss to Nick’s lips. The past five days had made Harry feel so… domestic, and it was something he loved. The feeling of staying home and watching his baby with his husband, cooking meals and having two happy boys.

 

Once Louis was changed and they headed into the playroom, Nick and Harry watched fondly as Louis played with his Guppies dolls. Harry’s phone buzzed with an incoming text that had John’s address and told him that they could come over around 3 the next afternoon.

 

Nick looked over curiously, “Who’s that?”

 

“It’s John. I called him, they have a group tomorrow afternoon if we want to bring Lou. I really think it’ll be good for him. He’s so shy, I think meeting other littles would be good for him.

 

Nick nodded. “Babe, you know I agree with you. You just can’t look that uncertain when we’re telling Louis. He’ll be fine. He knows Joey, we’ll be right there. We’ve got to trust that John knows what he’s doing.”

 

Harry let out a sigh, “I know, I know. It’s just hard. He’s so little and shy, I don’t want him to be scared or have his feelings hurt. This is overwhelming for me, I can’t imagine how it’s going to be for him.”

 

Nick reached out and grabbed Harry’s hand, pressing a sweet kiss on his lips. “You’ve always worried too much, baby. It’s why you make such a good dad, but you need to trust me. Everything will be fine. I promise.”

 

It was true; Harry had always worried too much. He’d said it a million times before; Nick was his calmer, more rational half. It was terrifying to even think of where he’d be without Nick, the man was always there to calm him down, provide him with tranquil energy. They were two halves of a puzzle, unable to function without the other.

 

“Pa?” Louis asked in his sweet, high voice from where he was sitting on the ground playing with his dolls.

 

“Yes, darling?” Nick asked with a blinding smile. After grabbing his attention, Louis crawled over to the plastic drawers that had all of his art supplies in them. The boy had started to alternate between crawling and walking yesterday, something that Nick and Harry found absolutely adorable.

 

“C-crayon?” He asked again, looking between Nick and the drawers.

 

“Of course, love, papa and daddy would love to draw with you!” Nick said enthusiastically getting up from the leather couch in the corner of the room to get the boy’s drawing supplies out. Nick lifted out a few coloring books for Louis to choose from, the boy ultimately choosing the Disney book that Sophia had bought him on tour. Nick and Harry took out the coloring books that they’d bought for themselves, not wanting to use up Louis’ precious coloring pages.

 

The trio sat at the plastic table that Louis did his arts and crafts at, Louis flipping to a picture of Cinderella and Prince Charming before starting to color. His motor skills were not where they once were, Louis’ hand shaking as he concentrated on staying in the lines… an impossible task for the little one.

 

“Guess what, Lou?” Harry asked, breaching the conversation as he colored in a landscape. Louis looked up for a second, a show that he was listening, before going back to coloring.

 

“We’re going to go over to Joey’s tomorrow to play with her and some new friends!” Nick interjected, both men intensely staring at Louis, eager to see what his reaction was.

 

Louis didn’t know how to feel. He’d been home for a few days now, and he’d never felt littler or more relaxed. He couldn’t even remember the days that he didn’t fully trust them, even though it was only a short while ago. But making friends? Could he trust his daddies with making him do something so scary? He never really had friends outside of the boys. It was hard for him to connect with people when he was so shy and had such a big secret to keep. Would they like him? Was he fun? He couldn’t help but be absolutely terrified.

 

The little look up to his daddies with wide, uncertain eyes. “Play with Louis?”

 

“Yes, sweetheart, they want to play with you! John said Joey’s friends are very nice. Maybe you can bring some toys over, would you like that?”

 

Louis wasn’t completely sold. “They be nice? They like Louis?”

 

Harry wanted to cry at the insecurity that showed in Louis’ eyes. He walked around the table and picked the little boy up before sitting back down with him in his lap next to Nick.

 

“They’ll like you very very much, Louis. You’re nice and fun and sweet, everything a friend should be!” Harry said, pressing a kiss to Louis’ forehead. The boy let out a huff of air, still uncertain.

 

“Scared,” Louis admitted quietly.

 

“We’ll be there with you, darling, and we can leave whenever you want, okay? Papa promises.”

 

Louis felt the tightness in his chest loosen up ever so slightly at the man’s words. His papa protected him, he always kept him safe. If his papa promised he’d be okay, then he knew he’d be okay… even if he was scared.

 

“Papa promise,” Louis repeated, curling closer to Harry’s chest.

 

“That’s right, papa will always protect his little boy,” Nick said with a smile.

 

\----------------

 

“Harry, it’s great to see you again! And you’re Nick, it’s nice to meet you, mate. I’m not sure you’ve heard this before, but you do a great job on the radio. I listen to you every morning,” John said with a smile as he opened the door to his and Joey’s modestly sized home.

 

“That means a lot, thanks John. I’ve heard great things about you from Harry, thanks for helping us out so much,” Nick said sincerely, lightly patting Louis’ bum and holding him close in his arms.

 

“Of course, anything to help some decent folks out. Before we can start the fun, the doms need to sign some NDAs.” John received a small smile from Harry in appreciate for not mentioning Louis yet. The boy was anxious beyond belief, holding onto his papa with every ounce of strength in him.

 

Once in the man’s kitchen, the couple sat down so they could sign the forms that needed to be signed. They were curious as to who would be in attendance, and why they needed to sign these agreements. It did make them feel a bit relieved that nothing that happened this afternoon would be splashed on headlines. They needed privacy.

 

After all of the forms were signed, Nick and Harry gently encouraged Louis to look at them.

 

“Can papa see your pretty eyes, darling?” Nick asked gently. Louis shook his head before burrowing tighter into him.

 

John cut in, “Joey really wants to play with you, Louis. She has three friends who can’t wait to meet you either! She has some Disney princess dolls, princes too. Would you like to play with those?”

 

Louis peeked one eye up at that. “Aladdin?” He asked quietly.

 

John smiled brightly, nodding. “She does have Aladdin! She would love to let you play with him. Do you want me to go get her?”

 

Louis nodded, breathing deeply before reaching out for his daddy’s hand. He was terrified; what if Joey didn’t like him anymore? What if the other kids were mean? Too many things could go wrong, and they were making his tummy hurt.

 

“Louis, Louis, Louis! I missed you so much!” Joey exclaimed in an excited, yet quiet voice when she skipped into the room. She hugged around Louis’ back tightly, paying no mind to Nick as if he was simply a chair.

 

“Hi,” Louis whispered, turning in Nick’s lap so he could look at the girl.

 

“Let’s go play! My friends are in there, I promise they’re really nice! They can’t wait to play with you, Louis! Let’s go! Let’s go!” Joey smiled. Louis looked back at his daddy and papa uncertainly.

 

“We’re coming in there with you, angel, daddy and papa will be with you the whole time.” Harry promised, starting to stand up.

 

At his reassurance, Louis stood up off of Nick’s lap. Joey gently grabbed his hand before walking him to the next room over, which was a huge, modern living room. There was a large L-shaped leather couch that a few adults were sat on, and three people on the ground surrounded by tons of toys.

 

“Guys! This is my friend Louis! He’s so fun, he wants to play!” Joey exclaimed before plopping down on the floor, her flowy shirt flying into the air momentarily at her quick movement.

 

Louis gulped before sitting down.

 

“Hi, I’m Dom! That’s my daddy! Mummy couldn’t come today,” A bleach blond man said. He was dressed in jeans and a polo, like a gad would be. It was clear he wasn’t wearing a diaper or pull up, just like Joey. Louis looked back to the couch when the little pointed, seeing John, his daddies, two men, and a woman. Louis didn’t recognize any of them, but Harry and Nick couldn’t help but be a bit starstruck as they walked in. Wayne Rooney and David Beckham were sitting next to each other, and to David’s right was Keira Knightly. It wasn’t a crowd that either Nick or Harry were expecting, but they were relieved to know through media coverage that the three were great p-doms.

 

“I’m Victoria, that’s my dad over there. It’s just me and him,” Victoria Beckham said in her posh accent. Louis could tell she was a big kid, dressed in a skirt and having her hair braided intricately.

 

“This is Mason, his mummy is Miss. Keira. He’s little like you, Lou!” Joey said with a smile.

 

Louis knew that she wasn’t trying to be mean by saying Louis was little. It made him feel good to know that she cared about him and was being nice even though she was a big girl.

 

“Hi,” Louis said quietly, looking at Mason. The boy had curly, dark brown hair and pretty porcelain skin. He was dressed much like Louis, in a long-sleeved onesie and a pair of leggings, diaper visible.

 

Mason gave Louis a smile before crawling over and hugging him tightly. Louis was shocked momentarily, but giggled as the other little boy tickled his tummy out of nowhere.

 

“Sorry, my boy’s a bit of a stinker,” Keira said with a laugh as she looked over at Nick and Harry.

 

“He’s getting Lou to smile, that’s all that matters. We just want him to have fun,” Nick said honestly.

 

“He’ll be absolutely fine. Vic was a bit shy at first, but she came around easily. This is a great group of kids,” David said with a slight smile.

 

“Let’s play Disney! Daddy got my castle all set up for us to play with!” Joey said.

 

Nick and Harry took note of the way that Louis stared at the custom made castle in awe. It was pink and ginormous, big enough to fit the Barbie-sized Disney dolls inside.

 

“I’m Cinderella!” Victoria exclaimed, grabbing the doll.

 

“Prince Charming!” Dom said next.

 

“Belle, like always,” Joey said, reaching over to grab her doll.

 

“Aladdin, please,” Louis asked, looking up at Joey with wide eyes. The girl grabbed the doll for him, handing it over. She grabbed the Gaston doll next, knowing he was Mason’s favorite. Her daddy told her it wasn’t nice to be mean to someone when they had an evil character as their favorite, so she didn’t say anything.

 

Louis was surprised at how much fun he was having. The three that were older than him were nice, but he liked Mason the most. The other little liked the Guppies he said, so they were pretending their Disney characters could swim. Victoria got mad at them when they did that, but quickly calmed down with a few whispered words from her dad. She left them alone after that incident.

 

When he went potty he simply went over to his daddy, who took him to a room that John must’ve shown him to clean him up in. He thought he would be embarrassed, but it was super easy.

 

The two youngest were off in their own world when Louis was shaken from their made up world by a gasp.

 

“Harry Styles! You sing in One Direction! I like… love your music!” Victoria said, rushing over to where the adults were sitting on the couch.

 

Harry smiled at her, “Thank you! That means a lot to me, you’re very sweet. Thanks for playing with my Lou, he’s having lots of fun.”

 

The older little brushed his words off. “Dad and I have seen you in concert! We saw you last week. It was like, so much fun! Can I have a hug?”

 

“I hope you enjoyed the show, and of course, come here, love,” Harry said, smile still plastered on his face. David simply shook his head and rolled his eyes, used to the girl hamming it up in front of celebrities she liked. Much like Joey, Victoria was in an adult headspace half of the time. Now that she didn’t have the stress of tour, she didn’t randomly go into her headspace, something that served to provide David a bit of relief.

 

“I had so much fun! You are amazing!” Victoria exclaimed, jumping into Harry’s arms.

 

Nick was fully aware of the way that Louis was staring at the interaction, eyes wide and starting to water. As any good parent did in a potential meltdown situation, he knew it was time to go.

 

He started to stand up, “Well, I’ll be that guy. We’ve got to head out if we want to keep with our schedule. It’s almost time for dinner.”

 

The parents, minus Harry, nodded in understanding.

 

“It was good having you mate, you’ll have to come again next time,” John said sincerely.

 

Nick went over to pick Louis up, bending down so he was at the boy’s height. “Say goodbye to your friends, lovely. You’ll see them soon, okay?”

 

Louis gave a hug to Joey and Mason, high fiving Dom. Nick smiled at the way the boy was in a “too cool to hug phase”.

 

“You’re my favorite member of One Direction, Harry! You’re so amazing,” Victoria continued. The girl couldn’t be blamed for her adolescent-esque tendencies when she was in her headspace. But… David realized when enough was enough, even if Harry didn’t want to be rude.

 

“All right, V, let’s let them leave. Say goodbye to Harry,” David directed.

 

“Bye Harry! It was so cool meeting you!” Victoria hugged the man tightly as he stood up, her tall fram reaching up to his chin.

 

“You too! We’ll see you all later, thank you for welcoming us so openly. We appreciate it,” Harry said with another easy smile, following an already retreating Nick out the door.

 

Nick opened the car door, placing Louis into his car seat.

 

“Did my little angel have fun?” Harry asked, moving to strap Louis in.

 

Louis surprised both men when he let out a scream at the action, slamming his legs against the passenger seat.

 

“Just let me do it, love,” Nick said quietly. Harry was confused at the way that Louis didn’t protest when Nick strapped him in, allowing the man to kiss his lips.

 

Louis’ tummy hurt with something he didn’t understand. Seeing his daddy hug another little girl made him sad and mad at the same time. He remembered back a really long time ago to when his daddy told him he wanted an older little girl. He said he didn’t mean it, but… what if he changed his mind? Papa seemed like he still loved Louis, but he knew daddy was more important to him than Louis.

 

The little was lost in his increasingly upsetting thoughts until they pulled into the garage. Harry went immediately inside, freaking out over not knowing what he did wrong.

 

“C’mere, darling. Papa and daddy love you so much,” Nick said as he unstrapped and picked Louis up.

 

Louis shook his head vigorously as the man mentioned his daddy. Why was papa lying? He knew that his daddy liked Victoria. She was older and pretty and potty trained. All of his fears were coming back to him. He wanted to throw a toy at her, how dare she touch his daddy? It wasn’t fair.

 

“It’s true, love. Papa promises,” Nick said resolutely. He knew that they needed to talk, because the more Louis got stuck in his head, the worse his thoughts would become.

 

Nick carried him into the living room where Harry was already sat on the couch.

 

Louis let out an angry noise when he saw his daddy in the room, Harry’s face crumpling even though Louis couldn’t see it. Nick held up a hand to his fiancé, pleading with him to stay calm.

 

“Lou, can you tell papa how you’re feeling?” Nick asked, wanting to start small.

 

“Tummy hurts,” Louis whimpered into Nick’s clavicle.

 

“Why does it hurt? When did it start hurting?” Nick prodded.

 

Louis let out a frustrated noise before continuing. “Mad ‘n sad. Daddy hurted me.”

 

Harry had to bite back a noise of confusion. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he assumed it had to do with Victoria hugging him at the end of the playdate. That’s when everything started going downhill, because Louis was still talking to him before that.

 

Nick cooed sympathetically, “What made you made and sad, little cub? Will you tell papa?”

 

“He-he… dada hug her. Louis’ dada. Dada promise he want little boy, not big girl.”

 

The lump in Harry’s throat grew 10192 times the size it already was.

 

“Oh, angel. Daddy’s so sorry. Victoria wanted a hug, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love Louis. Louis is daddy’s favorite little boy ever ever ever. You’re my sweet angel, I love you more than anything in the entire world!”

 

“Louis’ not big. Vic is big,” Louis tried to explain, his fears being vocalized quickly.

 

Nick continued to rub the boy’s belly, but didn’t speak. He knew when to interject and when to let Harry handle things, and it was clear that this was a Harry/Louis problem.

 

“Baby, daddy doesn’t want a big girl. He just wants his little boy, forever and ever. Papa and I love you so so so much, you’re our perfect angel. I pinky promise.”

 

“I pinky promise too,” Nick said quietly.

 

Louis smiled at them softly, understanding that his daddies loved him, even though it was hard to believe sometimes. He had a hard time understanding how he went from such a mean mum to the best daddies in the world. But he felt lucky. They made him so very happy, and were so sweet to him. He loved his daddies.

 

Harry let out a quiet gasp, as if he’d just remembered something. “Guess whose birthday is coming up?”

 

Louis looked at him uncertainly.

 

Nick answered once it was clear Louis wasn’t going to, “It’s Louis’ birthday soon! What do you usually do to celebrate, love?”

 

Nick and Harry wanted to broach the topic rather gently. After a quick conversation with Liam, Niall, and Zayn, it was clear that all four of them had never celebrated Louis’ birthday with him. Nor had they heard an inkling about the way that he celebrated.

 

“Never cel’brated, just another day,” Louis said, repeating the words he’d heard so many times. Growing up, he was always confused on why his birthday was just another day, but his mum always had an extravagant week of affairs, going out with friends every night of the week. And when his twin sisters were born, they got to celebrate too! Louis was never allowed to go to their parties, but it made him sad to know he was the only one who didn’t have a special birthday.

 

Nick and Harry shared a look. Yet another reason that Johannah was the worst person on earth. At the knowledge of how pitiful Louis’ birthdays up until this point had been… they didn’t even ask about Christmas. That could come another day.

 

“Would you like to do something fun for your birthday, love?” Nick asked.

 

Louis looked up, eyebrows scrunched together. “Like what?”

 

“Anything you want, love. Cake, presents, games, the boys and your grandmas and grandpas can come!” Harry said excitedly. He already had exactly what he wanted to do for Louis’ birthday planned out, he just needed the okay from the little boy.

 

“Is okay?” Louis asked uncertainly. He had always wanted to celebrate his birthday. He’d always watched his sisters blow out their candles, and he always wished of making a birthday wish.

 

“It’s definitely okay, Loulou. Papa and daddy want to give you the best birthday ever!” Nick enthused, lightly tickling the boy’s tummy.

 

Louis nodded, a growing smile on his face. “Blow out candles, please.”

 

“Of course, my sweet boy. You’re going to have the best birthday ever,” Harry promised.

 

Louis believed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! I hope everyone is doing well :) 
> 
> as always, let me know your thoughts about the chapter! comment comment comment, they make me so very happy and inspire me to write quicker :)
> 
> follow me on twitter: @needaherofic
> 
> have a wonderful weekend, my friends!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! enjoy enjoy enjoy :)

Louis was nervous. His daddies had been talking to him a lot about his birthday and Christmas, and he couldn’t help but be scared about two things that were so… new. Nestled on his papa’s lap, Louis let himself stop thinking. It was his birthday tomorrow, and he knew his daddies had a very special day planned.

 

“Papa and daddy love you so much, angel. Sweet dreams,” Harry said, softly scratching Louis’ scalp. The boy let out little humming noises as he sucked on his bottle, content with the way that his parents were taking care of him. Louis was asleep within minutes, Nick carefully picking the boy up off his lap and carrying him upstairs to his crib. Nick and Harry placed soft kisses on his forehead, making sure he had a pacifier in his mouth and Dusty and Lacy in his arms before exiting the room.

 

As they were washing up in their bathroom, Harry asked, “Do you think he’ll have fun tomorrow?”

 

Nick barely had to think before replying, “He will, babe. All we have to worry about is making sure he isn’t overwhelmed. It’ll be the best day of his life, I’m sure of it.”

 

“I know it will, I just want everything to go right. Are you still good to-“

 

Nick cut him off, “Yes, I’ll take him with me. Everything will be okay, babe. We’ve got this.”

 

\--------------

Louis woke up early the next morning; he let out happy noises as he sucked on his pacifier, stretching out his body like a lazing cat.

 

“Is my birthday boy happy?” Nick asked with a huge smile, walking over to Louis, Harry following behind him quickly.

 

Louis didn’t take his pacifier out of his mouth, letting out a happy giggle that had drool escaping his lips.

 

“Silly boy,” Harry cooed, picking him up and wiping the drool off his face.

 

Harry and Nick weren’t going to draw too much attention to the fact that it was Louis’ birthday, as any mention of the word seemed to make the boy a bit anxious. They’d be giving him a special day, of course, but the word birthday would be used sparingly.

 

“Let’s get you dressed, then we’ll have a yummy baba, and then papa wants to take you out in your stroller! Would you like that?” Harry asked.

 

Louis had been out in his stroller a few times before, and absolutely loved it. The doms were ridiculously happy that the winter was barely felt; damn global warming, but if that’s what was making them bypass winter and head into spring… they could live with it.

 

The little lazily spit his pacifier out, looking at his papa with a smile. The man reached a hand up from where he was taping up Louis’ diaper and tickled his belly.

 

“Papa!” Louis giggled out, looking at his daddy with wide, happy eyes as if he was asking for help.

 

“Daddy will get your papa!” Harry said with a smile, reaching his hand out to tickle Nick. The oldest man let out a surprised gasp, the men continuing their little show at Louis’ loud laughter. They only stopped when Louis was halfway off of the changing table, rolling over in his laughter.

 

Once the little’s teeth were brushed and he was changed into a short sleeve onesie and pair of leggings, they took him downstairs. Harry settled in with him on the couch, the light of his life cradled on his lap.

 

“Daddy’s got to go bye bye for a little, but papa will be here,” Harry narrated, wanting the boy to know he was leaving instead of freaking out.

 

Louis looked up and nodded, but his brow was furrowed.

 

“Daddy will be back by the time you’re all nice and clean after a bath!” That drew a smile out of Louis. His daddy would be back quickly.

 

“Here we go, darling, a baba for my love,” Nick said with a smile, handing over the bottle to Harry.

 

Nick rubbed Louis’ tummy as the little drank, the boy unable to help his eyes from closing at the pleasure he felt.

 

Once the bottle was empty, Nick reached down to grab a wrapped present from seemingly out of nowhere.

 

“Want to open this, little cub?” Nick asked, making sure to keep a grin on his face so Louis wasn’t hesitant.

 

Louis nodded slowly after looking at both of his daddies’ encouraging faces. It took the boy a little bit to open the wrapping paper, both due to uncertainty of how to open a gift, and his lacking motor skills.

 

As the wrapping paper was ripped off, Louis saw a soft blue material, and as he carefully took it out of the paper, he gasped. It was a light blue crewneck sweater and it had the entire troupe of Disney princesses and princes on the front, all the way up to Anna and Elsa.

 

“Belle!” Louis exclaimed, pointing her out to his daddies as if they couldn’t see.

 

“That’s right, angel! All of your favorite characters,” Harry said with a happy grin, putting the sweater on Louis who was holding his arms over his head.

 

Louis loved his stroller. He really, really loved it. The first time his papa wanted to take him for a ride while he jogged was a bit scary, but it turned out that it was so much fun. He loved seeing other people who were running, and his papa would always stop and let him pet people’s dogs if he wanted to.

 

“Ready to go, love?” Nick asked as he strapped Louis into the stroller. He really liked when it reclined, so he could lay back. But when he was going for a ride while he wasn’t tired, he liked sitting up so he could see what was going on.

 

Louis nodded with a smile, reaching out for Lacy with grabby hands. His daddy and papa only let him bring one of his friends on his rides, and he alternated so one of them wouldn’t get too sad.

 

Their neighborhood was closed off to the public, so he knew there wouldn’t be any paparazzi outside. Niall, Liam, and Perrie all had houses in the neighborhood and that made Louis happy. Zayn often spent the night at Perrie’s, so he was always very close to them!

 

“Music, please,” Louis said as Nick opened the garage and gently started rolling Louis out. He never liked going down the hill of their driveway too quickly, as he was scared he’d roll into the road.

 

“Of course! Do you want to listen to the perfect princess playlist?” Nick asked.

 

Louis clapped and smiled; Nick took that as a yes. After spending most of his life as a radio host and DJ, he’d perfected the creation of playlists. He never realized how much he loved making playlists until he got to create them for Louis. The boy’s favorite was definitely the perfect princess playlist (named by Harry), or the under the sea playlist (one that included various aquatic songs, including a fair amount of Bubble Guppies).

 

Nick connected his iPod to the speaker they left in the drink holder that the stroller held, and they were off. Louis sucked on his pacifier contently, looking out at the people who were waking up, walking outside to get their mail and let their dogs out. His ride was over far too quickly, and they were back home before he knew it.

 

“There he is!”

 

Louis gasped at the sound of the voice, looking up to see his nana with a huge smile on here face. He wiggled in his stroller, fighting the restraints as he tried to reach the woman.

 

“Let papa get you out, love,” Nick said with a chuckle, quickly unstrapping the boy and pulling him out once he stopped fussing.

 

Louis ran over to his nana, hugging her tightly.

 

“How’s my birthday boy doing?” Anne cooed, pressing a kiss to Louis’ hair.

 

“Missed you,” Louis mumbled into her shirt from where he was hugging her.

 

“I always miss you, dear! Let’s go take a nice bath, then we can start our fun day!” Anne said with a smile. Nick headed inside when Louis grabbed her hand. She was the only person outside of Alberto, himself, and Harry that Louis would let bathe him and change him; he’d grown attached to her quite quickly.

 

Nick smiled as he watched Anne walk up the stairs with Louis, walking slowly behind the little boy as he crawled up the stairs. He’d been getting more and more comfortable crawling, and seemed to like it more than walking. Nick and Harry were going to ask the doctor about how safe it was for him to crawl next week. Yeah, the doctor. That was something they didn’t plan on telling Louis until it was absolutely necessary.

 

Once he was sure Louis was all set upstairs, Nick headed upstairs as well to shower. Harry had already showered and was off with Robin and Nick’s own parents to make sure everything was set up for Louis.

 

Louis was lying on his papa and daddy’s bed as his nana rubbed lotion all over his body. He was wearing one of his favorite pink diapers, Belle smiling up at him.

 

“Nana stay with me?” Louis asked, reaching a hand down to touch a tendril of her hair.

 

Anne looked up from where she was rubbing lotion into Louis’ arm, “Of course, dear! It’s my favorite little boy’s birthday, we’re going to have so much fun!”

 

Nick walked out completely dressed, skinny jeans and a button up on.

 

“Nick, be a love and go grab his outfit,” Anne ordered. Nick nodded and headed to Louis’ room. Yeah, he was Louis’ dad, but it was quickly figured out that the little boy’s grandmas had rule over most everything. He’d listen without question.

 

“Here we are, angel!” Nick exclaimed, starting to slip the long sleeve onesie he was wearing over his head, and then pulling up his leggings.

Louis didn’t say anything about his outfit, just content to rest his head on his papa’s shoulder as they walked downstairs.

 

“Ready to go, little cub?” Nick asked as he sat on the couch after Anne waved him off while she double checked the contents of Louis’ diaper bag.

 

“Daddy?” Louis asked with a furrowed brow, unsure of where the man was. Every time he was without one of his daddies for a while his tummy started to feel weird. He couldn’t help but cry sometimes; he really missed his papa’s tummy rubs when he was gone, and his daddy reading him stories and singing him songs when he fell asleep.

 

“We’ll see daddy in just a few minutes!” Nick assured, Louis letting out a happy sound.

 

“Ready to go, loves?” Anne asked as she walked in, Louis’ sky blue diaper bag draped over her shoulder.

 

Louis nodded, “We see daddy!”

 

“That’s right, let’s go see daddy,” Nick said with a smile, standing up with Louis still in his arms. Nick and Anne shared a look that said: does he even know that it’s his birthday? Whatever the answer to that question is, they were still ready for Louis to have the best day of his life.

 

Louis looked out the window eagerly, wondering where they were going. His tummy felt a bit fluttery, but he was excited to see what his daddies had planned. They pinky promised he was going to have fun. He trusted them!

 

He felt confused as he saw the O2 arena come up in the distance; they were driving right towards it!

 

“Time to sing?” Louis asked, feeling so confused. His daddies told him he was done singing!

 

“No love,” Anne assured, “No singing! Your surprise is inside, though!”

 

Once they were inside the gates of the arena, Nick stopped the car. Louis let out a gasp as he caught sight of what was outside of the window.

 

His car door was opened by The Grand Duke from Cinderella!

 

“Hello, Prince Louis,” The man said, bowing. “Your carriage awaits!”

 

The man unbuckled Louis’ car seat and Nick was waiting there to put him in his arms.

“The prince’s carriage is right here,” The Grand Duke said, leading the way. Nick climbed into the most beautiful carriage that Louis had ever seen! It looked exactly like Cinderella’s did in the movie. There were white horses at the front, ready to take off whenever their driver told them to.

 

The Grand Duke climbed in behind Nick and Louis.

 

“Is this ride to your liking, Prince Louis?” He asked.

 

“Is this Cinderella’s?” Louis asked in awe, eyes wide in wonder as he rubbed his fingers across the satiny seat.

 

“Yes, it is! She is very excited to meet you, my lord,” the man said. This truly was the best part of his job; seeing the look of wonder on little ones’ faces when they saw their dreams come to life. He had to say that Louis was quite adorable as far as littles went. He knew this would be a good day.

 

A short ride later they arrived at their destination, and the door was opened by the kind man in the carriage with them. Nick carefully climbed out with Louis still in his arms, finally placing him down when they stepped inside the O2.

 

Louis gasped as he looked around! It looked like the most beautiful castle he’d ever seen inside. Beautiful red carpets, white walls (that were fake and just placed against the concrete walls, not that Louis knew that), and little statues and portraits of all of his favorite Disney characters all around.

 

“Papa, Belle!” Louis said with a gasp, pointing to a portrait of his favorite Disney character.

 

“That’s right, darling! All of your favorite characters,” Nick said with a smile, placing Louis down as the boy wriggled in his arms.

 

“That must be the prince!” Louis heard a high voice say. He turned around and gasped! It was Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather; Sleeping Beauty’s fairy godmothers!

 

“He’s even more handsome than the pictures show!” Fauna said with a smile as they scurried over.

 

“He is, sister! Only a little magic will be needed to make him look his best!” Flora said.

 

“How are you, Prince Louis? We are pleased to make your acquaintance!” Merryweather said as the three sisters curtsied.

 

“Hi,” Louis breathed, looking down out of shyness. The three women shared a quick look with each other; he was absolutely adorable. Today was going to be a fun one.

“Prince, your ball is starting quite soon! Will you come with us so we can get you ready?” Fauna asked, as she hurried forward and hooked arms with him. At Louis’ nod, the other two hooked arms with each other and then with Louis. They were off, Nick following behind them and taking pictures. He posted one to Instagram with the caption: _Bippity Boppity birthday boy!_

Louis was lead by the three fairies to a room that had outfits fit for a prince on clothing racks, and a big comfy chair sat in front of a big mirror.

 

“Sit down, prince!” Louis was told. He sat down in the comfy chair, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw his papa walk in and take a seat in the corner of the room.

 

“We’ve been tasked with readying you for your ball! Are you ready to meet your princess?” Louis was asked as his hair was brushed.

 

Louis nodded with a big smile. “Love princesses!”

 

“The princesses will love you too, Prince Louis! You’re the most handsome prince we’ve ever seen!”

 

“Now let’s get you ready!” Fauna said with a flourish of her hands, producing a bottle of hair gel. His hair was brushed back off of his forehead into a quiff. The ladies were talking to him as they did his hair and put glitter on his face, making Louis giggle as they went. He had his own fairy godmothers! He couldn’t even believe it. They were putting magic glitter on his face and in his hair. They put gold and light blue glitter on him, and he looked so cool!

 

“All right, time to put your outfit on, my prince!” Fauna said as her sisters carried over an outfit.

 

“Prince Louis, maybe your assistant should check your undergarments first! We will be right outside making sure everything is perfect,” Merryweather said as she bowed and they danced out of the room.

 

Louis giggled at her words, unable to be embarrassed. They were his fairy godmothers, they knew everything about him!

 

“All right, my little prince. Let’s get you into a clean diaper,” Nick said with a smile. He carefully took Louis’ onesie off, so that the women could get the little boy dressed into the outfit. Once his diaper was changed, he peaked his head outside and let the women know Louis was ready.

 

“What a splendid diaper, Prince!” Flora said as she looked at Louis’ diaper that had Jasmine on it.

 

Louis was quickly dressed, and couldn’t help but gasp as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing Prince Charming’s outfit! His top was light blue and he had gold shoulder caps on, with little tassels coming down. His pants leggings were maroon, just like the Prince’s!

 

“Our handsome Prince! You look absolutely divine,” the fairy godmothers all fawned over Louis, Nick snapping picture after picture of Louis’ happy expression.

 

“Are you ready to go to the ball?” Nick asked him, snapping Louis out of his reverie.

 

“Daddy?” Louis asked as he nodded.

 

“He’s meeting us in the hall, love. Let’s go show him your outfit! Can you say thank you to your friends for helping you get dressed?”

 

“Thank you! I love you,” Louis said as he pulled the three older women into a hug.

 

“And we love you, dear! It was our pleasure,” Fauna promised him with a smile. And it was; the little was so sweet and polite, the pleasure was all theirs.

 

Louis followed the women into the hallway, and turned his head at the sound of a gasp.

 

“Look at my handsome prince! Angel, you look so good!” Harry exclaimed as his eyes fell on Louis. He separated himself from the conversation he was having with Dale and Alberto, opening his arms to hug Louis as the boy ran over to him.

 

“I’m a prince, daddy! Missed you,” Louis said, hugging him.

 

“Watch out for your glitter, baby!” Harry said, moving back a bit so that Louis wouldn’t smush his face or hair into his chest.

 

“Are we ready to go, Prince?” The Grand Duke said, appearing out of nowhere with a smile.

 

“You come?” Louis asked to the fairy godmothers.

 

“Of course, dear! We’ll be with you all day to grant any wishes you may have!”

 

Louis smiled and followed the Grand Duke alongside his daddies.

 

“All right now, Prince Louis. I’m going to announce your presence and then we are going to head down to the ball! Does that sound good?”

 

Louis nodded.

 

The man in blue stepped into what Louis knew was the arena and they followed him in. He grabbed a microphone and tapped it three times.

 

“Accompanied by his fathers and fairy godmothers, I am proud to announce his majesty, Prince Louis!”

 

There was a round of applause as Nick and Harry grabbed Louis’ hands and entered into the arena. Louis looked down to the floor to see his friends and family. He walked slowly down the stairs, his daddies by his side the whole time. Once he was on the floor, he was engulfed in hugs.

 

“Lou, you look so amazing!” Perrie said with a smile, hugging him tightly.

 

“You look like you should be in a Disney movie!” Niall exclaimed.

 

“I like your outfit,” Mason said quietly, hugging Louis while his mummy and Louis’ daddies watched on with soft smiles. Louis was happy Mason was there; he really liked him. His papa told him that Mason could come over soon, and he couldn’t wait!

 

“Loulouloulou, you look so cool! My daddy told me I look like the prettiest princess ever!” Joey said as she spun in her light blue dress. John rolled his eyes behind her at her antics, always loving how crazy his girl was when she was in her headspace.

 

The microphone was tapped again, and Louis looked up to where the Grand Duke was standing.

 

“Now we have a very special surprise for Prince Louis. I’d like to welcome the princesses, princes, and friends of the Prince’s very favorite movies!”

 

Louis let out a gasp as he saw Jasmine and Aladdin started to walk down the stairs, followed by Mushu, Lumiere, and everyone else that he loved. He was overwhelmed, looking at his daddies as the floor got more crowded.

 

“Hi Prince Louis,” a soft, beautiful voice said. Louis turned around and started crying when he saw Belle.

 

Nick and Harry let out coos as Louis rushed forward and hugged the princess as she bent down in her yellow dress so that she was hugging on Louis’ height.

 

“What are the tears for, Prince? Let me see your happy smile!” She said, smiling dazzlingly herself.

 

Louis looked up at her in awe, unable to believe that his favorite princess was right here.

 

“Y-you know me?” Louis asked, eyes wide.

“Of course I know you, Prince Louis! You’re the most handsome, sweet prince in all of the land! All of the princesses know you,” She said with a smile.

 

“I watch you sing with my daddy and papa,” Louis said, cheeks light pink as he talked to her. Nick and Harry were trying not to cry from the cuteness of their boy.

 

“Well, thank you! I’ve watched you sing too, Prince Louis! You have a very beautiful voice,” Belle said. Louis’ jaw dropped, unable to believe that his favorite princess had heard him sing.

 

“Would you like to meet my friends, Prince Louis? They really want to meet you,” Belle said with a smile as she started to stand up.

 

Louis nodded. Harry cut in, making sure he got posed pictures of the two before Belle took him around.

 

Louis was the happiest little boy in the world as he met all of the princesses, princes and characters. Everyone he loved was there, too! It was perfect, but it wasn’t over. He was fed lunch in a special room upstairs, eating chicken nuggets and french fries on a fancy plate. Belle even sat right next to him while he ate! It was the best meal he ever had.

 

Louis was sat in a seat that was decorated like a throne in the lower bowl of seating. His daddies were on either side of him, and his friends and family filled out the other seats in that section. It was a small group, but Louis didn’t notice that; he was just overjoyed to have people he loved there with him.

 

He watched as Anna and Elsa came out to sing songs from Frozen, then the cast of Mulan, and all of his other favorite Disney movies. He sang along with a smile on his face, unable to believe that he got to see his favorite movies come to life in front of his own eyes!

 

“Is everyone having a magical afternoon?” Belle asked as she walked out. Everyone cheered, smiles on their faces. “Fantastic; so are we! For our last song, I was wondering if my friend, Prince Louis, would want to sing with me.”

 

Louis looked at his daddies, eyes wide. Belle wanted to sing with him?!

 

“Do you want to sing, baby?” Harry asked, rubbing a soothing rhythm over Louis’ hand. Louis thought for a moment before nodding.

 

“Daddy and I will be right here watching,” Nick promised.

 

Belle walked over, reaching a hand out for Louis to take.

 

“Would you like to sing Beauty and the Beast with me, Prince Louis?” She asked with a smile as if she didn’t already know the answer.

 

“Yeah,” Louis breathed, smiling excitedly.

 

The entire cast who’d been around the whole day came out to cheer Louis and Belle on as they danced to instrumental music at the end of the song. Nick and Harry couldn’t get enough pictures.

 

Louis cried extremely happy tears when it was time to go, but everyone promised that they’d see him very soon. Belle shared a wink with Nick that the man couldn’t help but return.

 

“Let’s get you home, love,” Harry said, bouncing Louis gently on his hip as they followed Alberto outside. Dale had pulled their car up to the back gate, fans having shown up as they figured out where Louis’ party was.

 

“Sleepy,” Louis yawned, putting his head on his daddy’s shoulder.

 

“I know, love. Just close your eyes,” Harry instructed gently as he walked Louis out and placed him in the car seat. Louis slept for a few hours, waking up to the feeling of a cold wipe between his legs. He let out a justified whine.

 

“It’s okay, angel, it’s just daddy! Let’s get you all cleaned up, then we’ll go open some presents!” Harry exclaimed.

 

“Pres’nts?” Louis asked with a yawn.

 

“That’s right! Nana and grandpa are downstairs! Your grandma and grandpa sent you a present since they couldn’t be here,” Harry reminded Louis. The little boy was sad when he heard his papa’s parents couldn’t come, but he knew that his grandpa worked a lot out of the country, so he understood.

 

Harry placed Louis on his hip, the boy now rediapered and dressed in a fleecy set of footie pajamas.

 

Nick, Anne, and Robin were sat on the couch; an assortment of presents littering the floor. A tray of fruit was sat on the table in front of them, Harry and Nick wanting Louis to eat a bit before dinner. They were all quickly situated on the large couch, Louis happily chewing on a red grape that his daddy had put into his mouth.

 

“Everyone brought you a present today, love! Are you ready to open them?” Harry asked.

 

Louis’ cheeks were flushed red with happiness as he opened presents from all of his friends. Niall bought him a swing that went in the house; it was designed like a cradle, and his daddies told him he would be able to sleep in it. He was so excited to try it out. Sophia and Liam bought him a collection of all of the Disney stories in books, and Zayn and Perrie got him tons of new art supplies including a set of glitter crayons that he couldn’t wait to use. It would make the princesses’ dresses so much prettier! He loved all of the gifts he got, and was surprised to see that his papa’s friends even bought him gifts.

 

His nana said she wanted him to open his gift before they left, so he opened it.

He unwrapped the wrapping paper to see a hardcover book with a shiny, light blue cover. There was a picture of him and his daddies on the front that was taken the day that his papa asked his daddy to marry him.

 

“Words?” Louis asked, wanting someone to read what the cover said.

 

“It says The Adventures of Louis, His Daddy, and Papa,” Anne said as she traced her finger under each word as she said it. The women continued to read the book at Louis’ bidding, the boy in awe as she showed him all of the pictures in the book. The photos ranged from the day that Harry and Louis were put in the band; to pictures of the first days Louis was there, to fan taken photos of the three. Each page was equipped with a quote about how much his daddy and papa loved him. Louis thought it was the best gift ever!

 

“Thank you, nana. Love you,” Louis said sincerely as he crawled into her lap and hugged her tightly.

 

“And I love you, my dear! Anything for my favorite little boy,” Anne said, pressing a kiss to Louis’ hair.

 

“We play tomorrow?” Louis asked.

 

“Your daddies and you will have a special and quiet Christmas, but I’ll see you in a few days,” Anne promised as she stood up. Louis nodded from where he was now curled up on his papa’s lap, waving goodbye to the two as Harry walked them to the door.

 

Louis munched on an apple slice happily, putting his hand up against his papa’s and being shocked at how big his papa’s hand was. Louis giggled when his papa bent his fingers on top of Louis’ much smaller ones, showcasing just how small his hands were.

 

“Do you want to know what daddy and papa got you for your birthday, angel?” Harry asked as he walked into the room with two wrapped presents.

 

Louis nodded before speaking, “Don’t need anything, Louis loves his daddies.”

 

Harry cooed, “Papa and I love you too, angel. That’s why we bought you presents.”

Louis opened a thin, wrapped present first. All that was inside was a poster board, and Louis’ eyebrows were raised to the sky as he looked at it. There was a drawn out picture of a huge playground, turrets on top of the highest peaks, cargo nets connecting high ground to lower ground, multiple big slides, and swings.

 

“As soon as it’s warm out, someone’s coming to build that for you! Do you like it?” Nick asked with a smile, knowing what Louis’ answer would be.

 

“For me?” He asked, incredulous.

 

“All for you! You can bring friends over to play, it’ll be so much fun,” Harry exclaimed, smiling wider than he thought was possible at Louis’ happy clapping.

 

“Thank you!” Louis said, reaching his arm out for his daddy so he could hug both men at the same time.

 

Louis’ second gift was a box wrapped in wrapping paper with all of Louis’ favorite Disney characters on it. He ripped off the paper to see a dark blue box with the Disney logo on it. Cautiously, he took the top off to see a pair of the Mickey Mouse ears sitting on a little black cap that he would always see his classmates wearing when he was younger. His tummy always flipped with sadness when his friends would come back with Mickey or Minnie Mouse ears on their heads, talking about how amazing and fun Disney was. He’d asked to go to Disney once when he was ten, and he would never ask again. His mum screamed at him for hours, telling him she’d never be seen with him at such an awful, disgusting place. That he didn’t deserve to go.

 

The ears that Louis were currently looking at were black and had Mushu painted on, one half of him on each ear. He was lunging forward, but staring at the camera. They were embroidered with gold fabric around the edge of the ears. Louis loved them.

 

Gently, Harry roused Louis from where he was staring wide eyed at the ears, emotion clearly taking over him.

 

“Lift up the ears, angel, there’s something underneath them,” Harry instructed, pressing a kiss to Louis’ cheek.

 

The boy picked up the ears gently, as if they were the most valuable thing in the world, before putting them on the glass table in front of the couch. Louis started crying when he saw what was in the box; a large, rectangular ticket to Disney.

 

Louis sobbed into his papa’s neck, both his daddies rubbing his back gently as he cried.

 

Eventually, Louis stopped crying enough to choke out, “L-louis go see Belle?”

 

Harry wiped the tears and snot off of Louis’ face before answering. “That’s right, love. We’re going to see Belle and all of your friends! We get to go to Disney World in sunny Florida!”

 

Louis knew that Disney World in Florida was especially created for littles. In the early 2000s, it was apparent that Disneyland was not capable of serving the needs of both true children and adult littles, so Disney World was created. The rides were sized for adults, but the fun was all there. It would be perfect.

 

“Th-this is the best day. Louis l-loves his daddies,” Louis said sincerely, squeezing the men on either side of him.

 

“And we love you so much, Louis. We would do anything to make you happy, you deserve it. We promise,” Nick said.

 

Louis nodded, because he knew. It didn’t matter if it was his birthday, or just a random Tuesday, his daddies would do anything they could to make him happy. They loved him, and he loved them. That was how things worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all loved this chapter as much as I do! It was so fun writing it. 
> 
> As always, please comment and let me know your thoughts! Christmas is coming in the next chapter, so you have that to look forward to :)
> 
> twitter: @needaherofic come chat! 
> 
> happy Thursday, hope everyone's doing well <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :) notes at the end of the chapter!

Louis had a longer than usual nap after his birthday party, and it gave Harry and Nick time to finish putting up their Christmas decorations. They’d had a tree up for a few days, but they now had time to set the kitchen table with a mini tree, red and green place mats, and put up some stockings. The second that Louis was carried downstairs he started to breathe heavily, eyes catching the stocking that his grandma embroidered for him. Louis’ name was floating above Santa’s reindeer, and any other little boy would’ve loved it… but not him.

Harry cooed at the boy in his arms, bouncing him up and down to try and calm him down. “It’s okay, angel, daddy’s here. Let’s see your smile! Santa will be here soon.”

Harry’s stomach dropped at the way Louis’ cries picked up at the mention of Santa.

Louis choked out, “N-no,” tears rolling down his face rapidly.

Nick chose that moment to walk back in the house from the store, brows immediately furrowing at the sound of his little boy’s heartbreaking cries.  
Nick grabbed a pacifier off of the kitchen counter, bringing it into the living room where Harry was bouncing Louis and putting it in between the boy’s lips. It did its magic as always, calming Louis down until his tears had stopped. The trio sat in silence for a bit, both daddies stroking some part of their little boy.

Surprisingly, it was Louis who spoke first, not bothering to take his pacifier out. “Santa not coming,” he said with all of the misery of someone who had just been told their dog had run away and was never coming back.

Nick probed carefully, “Why wouldn’t Santa come, love?”

Louis shook his head, his papa grabbing the pacifier out of his mouth so it was easier to understand him. “Santa don’t come to Louis. Bad boy,” he explained.

Nick and Harry shared a look above his head; how did they not realize that his mum would’ve ruined the concept of Santa?

“Has Santa ever come to visit, sweetheart?” Harry asked gently.

Louis looked down dejectedly, “Santa comes for Lottie and Fiz, not Louis. Louis is bad boy.”

Harry tried not to stiffen up from where he sat underneath Louis. Obviously, it was rare for someone to still believe in Santa at 22 years old, but for Louis to still believe in Santa and think the man wasn’t coming to him because he was bad? He felt like he could blow up from the rage he felt. 

“Did your mum tell you that?” Nick asked. Louis nodded miserably in reply.

“Ah, papa will be right back, darling. I need to make a quick phone call,” Nick said, standing up and grabbing his phone. 

Harry had no idea what he was doing, but he trusted that it would hopefully help change Louis’ mindset.

Nick walked back in the room a moment later, a smile on his face and his phone held to his ear.

“Louis, I have someone on the phone for you!” Nick said, stretching out his hand to the boy.

Louis grabbed the phone hesitantly, putting it up to his ear. 

“Hello, is Louis there?” A deep, kind sounding voice asked from the other line.

“I’m Louis,” the little boy said quietly, wondering whom he was talking to.

“Ho ho ho! Hello, Louis! My name is Santa Claus.”

Louis gasped, turning to face his daddy. “How does Santa know Louis?”

“Santa knows all of the good boys and girls, Louis, and you’ve been a very good little boy!”

“R-really? Was I bad every other year? You never came.”

“Oh, no no! Santa didn’t know who you were. My elves never gave me any letters from you, but I got yours this year! And I see that you’ve been a very good little boy, so Santa will be there when you’re sleeping tonight! ”

“So you come?” Louis asked, hope evident in his voice. He spent years suppressing his hope that Santa would finally come visit him, and the mere thought that Santa might come was overwhelming.

“My reindeers and I will fly to all of the good little girls and boys’ houses, and yours will be one of them! Now, Santa must go get ready for tonight… happy birthday, and merry Christmas, young boy!”

Louis sat there a bit slack jawed, Nick smiling softly as he took the phone back from the boy’s hand. 

The dom walked back into the kitchen before whispering, “Thanks dad,” and hanging up. Years of playing Santa at Nick’s family Christmas parties had definitely been of use tonight.

“What did Santa say, angel?” Harry asked, stroking his thumb across Louis’ cheek.

“He’s coming to visit me! Santa is coming,” Louis said as a smile grew on his face as though verbalizing the event made it real to him. 

“You’re the best little boy in the world, Santa’s going to bring you lots of presents! Let’s eat some yummy dinner, then we can watch Rudolph!” Harry said, carrying Louis into the kitchen before placing him into his highchair. 

Nick sat next to the little and fed him grapes while Harry finished up making Louis’ bottle and plating his and Nick’s salmon. They figured that a bottle was the safest option after Louis had had such a greasy and big lunch, knowing that a sick little boy on Christmas would not be fun to deal with.

Dinner was a calm affair, Louis quietly drinking his bottle while his daddies talked about boring things. Such as when Harry would start recording his debut album. He decided that he wanted to wait a while, not wanting to have to deal with the annoyance of a full schedule just yet. And most importantly… he didn’t want to disrupt Louis’ routine when he was just starting to get comfortable. It wouldn’t be fair to him. As much as Harry loved to sing and perform, he loved his little boy more. Louis would always come first now; his priorities had changed, and the label understood that. 

Louis’ eyes were slowly blinking, the boy having the toughest of times not just succumbing to sleep. Luckily, his daddies were watching this happen, so they paused the movie and stood up.

“Sweetheart, let’s get the reindeer food ready for the reindeer!” 

They’d made reindeer food (a mixture of glitter, carrots, and lettuce) right after dinner, and now it was time to throw it outside on the back porch for Santa’s reindeer.

Louis nodded, nuzzling his head into Nick’s shoulder. He’d had the longest of days, and something as exciting as throwing reindeer food couldn’t even wake him up.

“Here you go, Lou! Let’s go out back and throw the food around the porch.” Nick said, bouncing the boy a bit to try and get his eyes to open up.

Louis nodded again, the drowsiness he was feeling dissipating just a bit. Harry wrapped a blanket around Louis before letting the boy go outside, knowing that it was chilly. 

“Need lots of food, so that all the reindeers can get some, papa,” Louis explained as he threw the mixture onto the back porch.

Nick let out a noise of agreement, “That’s a good idea, Lou. We want to make sure all of the reindeer get some food.”

“They have lots of houses to go to, so I wanna make sure they’re not hungry.”

“That’s very nice of you, love,” Harry said from where he was taking photos of the pair. He instagrammed a picture, unable to help himself. Louis was throwing a handful of the food onto the ground from where he was perched in Nick’s arms, the older man pressing a kiss onto his cheek.

“All gone,” Louis said as he threw the last handful. The trio headed inside, snuggling up on the couch after the glitter was cleaned off of Louis’ hands. 

The little was asleep before the daddies had even finished reading him ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Harry’s eyes sparkled as he reminded Nick that they’d have many more Christmases where Louis would have a chance to hear the ending.

Louis was snuggled up in his crib, cookies were out, and Nick and Harry were working quietly to get all of Louis’ presents under the tree. Tomorrow would be perfect.

Harry couldn’t help but grin as he heard Louis wake up on the monitor, letting out happy little noises and whispering to himself that Santa came. The daddies had been up for an hour or so, happy to let Louis sleep in a bit after his long day yesterday.

The doms walked to the nursery together, shoulders bumping and smiles shared. It was going to be a good day. They would’ve liked if it snowed, but you can’t have everything.

“Merry Christmas, angel!” Harry said with a smile that grew when he saw Louis’ eyes open and eager.

“Santa come?” Louis asked as he was lifted onto his changing table.

“He did, little cub! Let’s get all nice and changed then we can go see,” Nick said excitedly.

“Stay in jammies?” Louis asked.

“We can stay in our jammies all day!” Harry said, Louis smiling as he saw that his daddies were in sweats and jumpers.

Louis could hardly stay still while his teeth were brushed by his papa, far too excited at the prospect of Santa coming.

Nick carried Louis down the stairs, Harry filming from the bottom of the staircase. He wanted to start recording family videos, and this wasn’t a day of action that he wanted to miss out on.

“Santa,” Louis said in shock, an incredulous smile appearing on his face as he saw all of the presents under the tree and around the living room.

“That’s right, Santa brought lots of presents for the best little boy in the world,” Nick said, Louis giggling as his papa pressed kisses all over his face. 

Harry spoke teasingly from behind his camcorder, “Do you want to eat breakfast first?”

“No daddy, please no!” Louis said, wriggling to be put down.

“I’m just kidding angel, we’ll have a baba in a little bit. Let’s open your stocking first!”

Louis crawled over to where his stocking was hanging, gasping as he passed the glass table sat in front of the couch. All of the cookies had been eaten besides a small bite of one! And there was a handwritten note, ink red and glittery.

“Papa,” Louis said, holding out the note to the man.

“It says: Dear Louis, Merry Christmas! I hope your Christmas is magical and I brought you all of the presents you wanted. You’ve been a very good boy this year, and your daddies are very lucky to have such a nice little boy. Thank you for the cookies, they hit the spot. Chocolate chip are my favorite! How did you know?

My reindeer are outside eating the food you left for them; Rudolph was especially happy to see the glitter. It’s his favorite food. 

I’m off to finish bringing presents to the rest of the good girls and boys around the world. Merry Christmas, Louis!

Santa”

The little boy was staring with his jaw dropped. “Santa,” he whispered.

“That’s right, baby. Santa wrote you a letter! You’re very special.”

“Love Santa. I open?” Louis asked, crawling to his stocking. At his daddies’ nods of approval, he carefully peeked into his stocking. He slowly removed the contents, smiling widely at the pacifiers, glitter pens, glow in the dark crayons, and other goodies he got. He couldn’t believe that there was so much more! 

Nick and Harry sat patiently beside Louis as he opened his gifts from Santa, appropriately responding when he held up every single thing he’d received. They’d never get over how genuinely surprised he was to receive so many gifts.

They took a small break for breakfast after Louis finished up opening his gifts from Santa, Louis contentedly sucking on his bottle while wrapped up in his fuzzy new Mushu blanket. His favorite gifts included a keyboard that had keys which lit up to teach him different Disney songs, the boxed DVD set of every Bubble Guppies episode ever, and a Disney stamp set that he could use on all of his art projects.

“All right, love, let’s open some more gifts!” Nick said as they settled on the ground next to the Christmas tree. 

“Papa and daddy open,” Louis said, handing them both identical presents that were clearly wrapped by him, wrapping paper crinkled.

Harry gasped dramatically, “Did you get papa and I presents? You’re such a sweet boy.”

Louis nodded, blushing lightly. “Nana help me.”

Harry and Nick pressed kisses on Louis’ cheeks before opening their presents. What they saw were little strips of construction paper stapled together, a picture drawn of Louis with the respective daddy on each cover. “Cuopn book” was written in crayon on the front of each. The daddies’ smiles grew as they looked through the book, seeing coupons for various activities. The most notable of coupons were those that offered an hour of quiet time, a morning of sleeping in, a Louis and nana sleepover, and a day with just Louis that each daddy got to plan. It was perfect.

Louis was sat wringing his hands nervously as if his daddies wouldn’t love his gifts.

“Thank you so much, baby,” Nick and Harry ended up saying at the same time. They took turns hugging and kissing him, letting him know how much they loved his gift.

Louis opened gifts from both sets of his grandparents, Gemma, and his daddies, unable to stop smiling. He opened his last gift, a thin parcel that he carefully unwrapped. There was a picture of lots of cats and dogs inside, and he looked to his daddy with a confused look on his face.

“Papa and I thought you might want to get a kitty or doggie, love. Would you like that?”

Louis’ eyes filled with tears at the thought of having a friend to live with, and couldn’t nod quick enough.

Harry cooed, pulling Louis on his lap.  
“Thank you,” Louis cried, nuzzling his face into his daddy’s chest. 

“We’re happy that you’re happy, darling. We love seeing your sweet smile,” Nick replied, rubbing Louis’ back. They sat there for a bit until Louis calmed down before Harry spoke quietly.

“We have one more present upstairs if you want to go see it, angel.”

Louis nodded, standing up slowly before being led to his playroom. There was a huge dollhouse now stationed in the corner of the room. The outside had light blue shingles and a dark brown roof, and Louis opened it very very slowly as though he was afraid he’d break it.

The inside already had some of his princess dolls stationed around it, Belle and Cinderella sitting at the kitchen table and Jasmine laying in the bathtub (which made Louis giggle… a lot). There was furniture in it, everything from a little toaster to a flat screen tv. It was perfect.

“Louis’ dolls have a house!” He said, turning back to look at his daddies.

“That’s right! Santa brought you lots of dolls, too, so now you have even more friends to play with in your new house!”

“I love my daddies,” Louis said as he stood up and moved to hug the men. This was the best Christmas of his life, and he didn’t know how things could get better than they were.

\------------------------  
“Make sure you hold onto papa or my hand at all times, baby. We don’t want you to get hurt,” Harry said as he unstrapped Louis from the car. Louis nodded rapidly, craning his neck to peer around his daddy’s large figure.

The trio walked inside the building, an older man with gray hair meeting them once inside.

“You must be the Grimshaws! Welcome to the London Pet Rescue. We’re happy to have you here with us, and I can show you around if you’d like. My name is Gary, by the way,” The man finished, shaking hands with Harry and Nick as they introduced themselves. He bent down to say hi to Louis, the little waving shyly before hiding behind his papa.

“Want to start with the cats, love?” Harry asked, Gary leading them down a hallway that was labeled with the word cats at Louis’ approval. 

The cat room was huge, the floor colored with bright green carpet. There were open cages on the wall that had food and water bowls, and perches with beds for the cats to lie in. There were around thirty kittens and cats wandering the room, some lazing in bed and others playing with toys. 

Louis’ jaw dropped and he immediately sat on the ground, cats curiously walking over to him. He pet all of the cats that he could, enthralled by how soft they were.

“They seem to love you, bud. You’re a natural cat man!” Gary said, winking at Nick and Harry.

“They make funny noises,” Louis said.

“It’s called purring, it means that they’re happy,” Gary answered. Louis nodded in understanding, giggling as the cats lavished him with attention.

They stayed in there for a bit before Louis asked to go see the dogs. Gary immediately took them to the puppies, litters of golden retrievers, black labs, French bull dogs, and chihuahuas taking residence in the facility. Louis played with them for a bit, but looked up curiously at the sound of scratching. 

He stood up and walked over to a pen that held a big, black dog that was looking at him with big eyes.

“Ah, that’s Kia, she’s been with us for a while now. Her owners moved away and couldn’t take her with them. She’s an older girl, almost eight; so most people just skip by her. I’d take her home if I had room,” Gary said, opening up the door to her pen.

The dog didn’t rush out, simply padding forward to greet Louis as he entered the area. Louis giggled as she licked his hand, immediately making herself at home right by his side.

“What kind of dog is she?” Nick asked as he watched Louis fall in love with the dog before his eyes. He should’ve guessed that his little boy wouldn’t want a puppy like every other kid on earth.

“She’s a pit bull boxer mix, more pit bull than anything. Sweetest dog there is. Her previous family had a few real children, and she was awful protective of them. Treated the kids like they were her pups,” Gary said, hoping that the family would decide to take her with them.

“I love her, papa. Can she come home? It’s sad not being loved. Louis knows,” The boy said, words innocent, but the meaning behind them heavy.

“Of course, darling. If Kia wants to come home with us, she can,” Nick replied quickly. He didn’t need to think it over, he knew Harry was thinking the same exact thing.  
“We can go up front with Gary and get some things for her so that she’s happy and has everything she needs,” Harry said shortly after, smiling at the sight of Louis and his new friend.

“Want to go home, Kia? We can play all the time!” Louis said as he stood up. The dog’s tail started wagging wildly as she followed Louis out of the pen patiently, as though she knew exactly what he was saying.

Nick couldn’t help but feel as though they were saving the dog in the same way they helped Louis. They couldn’t help how long it had taken them to get her, but they did eventually. And that was all that matters, because now… now she would get her happily ever after, just like Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for keeping you guys waiting... I know it doesn't mean much, but I finished up my third year of university and am off across the country on my dream internship. I'll be updating a lot more frequently now. Thank you guys so much for waiting! You're the best.
> 
> As always, comment away!!!!!!!
> 
> Twitter: @needaherofic
> 
> all my love xoxo


	25. Chapter 25

"You're sure you can handle this?" Nick asked dubiously.

"Of course I can, you're actin' like I never took care of Theo! Lou and I have been hanging out for years, this is no different," Niall said with a roll of his eyes. Louis nodded from where he was perched on Harry's hip in Niall's kitchen.

"We'll be back in about an hour. Have fun boys. Love you so much angel," Harry said with a kiss to Louis' lip.

"Love you daddy, love you papa," Louis exclaimed as he hugged the men.

"Love you too, little cub," Nick said with a smile. Niall called the men and told them he wanted to spend time with Louis, maybe cook him dinner. Nick and Harry agreed to it, if only to have a rapid speed date night. Niall, in true Niall fashion, forgot that he had an event that night. Not wanting to break Louis' heart, they decided he could head over for a quick dinner.

They now understood why some parents hadn't had a date night in ten years. Having a baby was a 24/7 job.

Having a dog wasn't, though. Kia was wonderful and smart. She had a door that she went in and out of the house through, and caused no fuss. And best of all, she adored Louis. Of course, Louis adored her too. He cried for hours the first night they got her, not understanding why the dog couldn't sleep in his crib with him. 

Once the daddies had left, Niall took Louis into his heated sunroom. It was still cold out, but the sunroom held his grill and he was making steaks.

"How's it going, Lou? I heard you got a new dog?" Niall said as he put the seasoned steaks on a piping hot grill.

"Her name is Kia! She loves me and gives me kisses," Louis said with a smile. He loved her.

"She's super cute, I've gotta come meet her!" Niall said enthusiastically. 

The steaks were soon cooked, Niall cutting Louis' up and making sure it was cool enough for the boy to pick up. That's how he ate, right? Sounded right to Niall.

Louis ate absentmindedly while he spoke to Niall, feeling weird about eating red meat after not having it for so long. He could only eat half of the steak before he was full, tummy not used to eating have such heavy food anymore. 

He was shocked when the doorbell rang, wondering how his time with Niall had gone so quickly. Niall got up from the couch to let them in, pausing the episode of Bubble Guppies they had just started watching.

Louis ran behind Niall, excited to see his daddies even if he didn't want to leave his friend Niall.

"Daddy! Papa!" Louis exclaimed, pulling both men into a hug.

"Hi pumpkin! Did you get dinner?"

"Just finished! Love Niall," Louis said as he hugged him.

After thanking Niall, Harry and Nick shepherded Louis to the car, wanting him to start settling down for the night. It was about 7pm and he'd been going to bed at 8pm every night. The boy could never sleep enough it seemed, but an early bed time and two naps helped keep him healthy and not cranky.

Louis hummed happily to the Aladdin soundtrack as they drove home, ready to lay down with Kia. He was so happy he got to play with Niall. He missed seeing Niall every day, so he was relieved that Niall wanted to see him. 

As they were pulling into the gated neighborhood Louis felt as though a rock was dropping into his stomach. Weird. It didn't feel like he had to go potty, but his tummy felt heavy and like it was pushed out. It really hurt. 

Louis whimpered, pressing one hand to his 5 point harness covered tummy. Touching it didn't help. He just wanted his daddy and papa to kiss it and make it better.

"What's wrong, darling?" Nick asked, turning around from where he was sat in the passenger seat. 

"Tummy hurts," Louis said in a strained voice. 

They pulled up to their house soon after Nick promised him that they'd be home in a flash. When Louis felt this icky, it didn't feel that quick. 

"Let's get my sweet boy inside, then daddy and papa will make him feel all better," Harry cooed quietly as he unbuckled Louis. He reached to pick Louis up, placing the boy against his hip when Louis jerked back, jumping out of his arms with a loud scream. The little boy was on the ground huddled into a tight ball, clutching his stomach, still screaming.

"Hurts, hurts, hurts," Louis moaned. It felt like all of Russia was shoved into his stomach, pushing against it trying to fit in it. He'd never felt such awful pain in his life.

Harry and Nick shared panicked glances, unsure of what to do. 

"Daddy's so sorry, baby. He didn't mean to hurt you. Let's get you inside. Can you stand up?" Harry asked, bending down to lend Louis a hand while he started to stand up.

Louis attempted to stand, but the moment his torso was straightened out the pain was as if a bomb had just exploded in his stomach. He'd stick to crawling, he thought with a pained whimper.

Nick tried not to freak out, knowing Harry was looking to him for how to treat this uncharted situation. 

"Let's get a nice baba and finish watching Monster's Inc!" Nick suggested as he stood behind Louis, making sure the boy could crawl up the stairs without problem.

Louis was breathing heavily by the time he made it to the couch, laying with his head on his daddy's lap. Kia was sat on the floor, eyes alert as she watched Louis. 

"Can daddy look at your tummy?" Harry asked, stroking soft fingers through Louis's hair. Louis nodded minutely, Harry taking it as a cautious yes.

The dom was extremely careful when he lifted up Louis' shirt, not quite sure what he'd uncover. He tried not to gasp when he saw Louis' tummy severely extended, like he was breathing out as hard as he could. Knowing not to touch it, he continued stroking the boy's hair while waiting for Nick to come back.

Nick raised his eyebrows to his hairline when he saw Louis' stomach, thinking about what their next action should be. Louis had messed his diaper that afternoon, so he knew it couldn't be constipation. But maybe it was? He didn't know. He wasn't a doctor.

"Hey love, does your tummy still hurt?" Nick questioned, even though he already knew the answer.

Louis nodded miserably in reply.

"Does it feel like you need to go poopoo or let out a toot?" Nick asked, trying to phrase the question in the least disgusting way possible. 

Louis shook his head, too little and too pained to be embarrassed. It was just his daddy and papa. 

"All right, angel. Let's just drink some water and go night night. You'll feel better in the morning," Nick promised, even though he wasn't sure. He could hope.

Louis fell into an uneasy sleep as he drank the cold water, Harry carrying him upstairs bridal style, not wanting to touch his stomach. Kia followed up right after, staking her place at the front of Louis' crib. 

They'd only gotten through an episode of Game of Thrones (rewatching it before season 4 began) before a loud barking came from Louis' room. They'd never heard Kia bark, and that alone had them speeding upstairs.

They entered Louis' nursery to see the boy sicking up all over himself, letting out horrific wretching sounds. 

"Louis, are you okay, love?" Harry asked frantically. When all the boy could do was throw up more, eyes rolling back in his head, he realized this was out of their hands.

"I'm calling 999," Harry said to Nick, hands shaking as he pulled his phone out.

"Already di- hi, my baby is really really sick and I need a medical team dispatched..." Nick frantically said. Harry stopped listening as he moved over to Louis' crib, trying not to cry. He didn't know how close he should get, the little boy so pained every time they tried to touch him. 

Harry didn't know what he would do without his little boy. He needed to be okay.

"It's okay, angel. Daddy and papa are right here," Harry said, hesitantly placing a hand in Louis's sweat drenched hair. Louis let out a sad choke as soon as Harry's hand made contact with it.

Harry noticed that Louis was only throwing up water, something that struck him as odd. What did he and Niall have for dinner? Fuck. What DID they have for dinner?

Harry quickly called up Niall, hand shaking.

"Hey man wh-"

"What did you have for dinner" Harry asked, crazed at this point.

"I made us good steaks, they were am-" Niall was cut off again.

"You idiot. God Niall," Harry said, voice wet as he hung up. His poor baby was going through one of the worst pains imaginable. 

When an infancy aged little's body regresses fully, they no longer have the ability to digest adult foods. Louis' body was currently trying to digest the red meat, something that could cause organ failure. He needed to get to the hospital.

"They'll be here in a minute," Nick said, pulling together a bag of diapers and a onesie for Louis to change into. They felt horrible leaving the boy in his messy sleeper, but disturbing him and hurting him would be even worse. 

"It's steak. Niall fed him flipping steak," Harry choked out, wanting to cuss so badly.

"My poor baby," Nick said brokenly, seeming a bit affected for the first time. He couldn't help it; his baby's body was being put through pain that would hurt the strongest of people. So for his little boy to have to go through it... he couldn't imagine how he was feeling. 

Nick flew down the stairs when he heard a knock, letting in the six men medical team. He filled them in on what he knew, the men unable to not mutter how idiotic Niall was for feeding Louis steak. Did he not once crack open a biology book?

"It's okay, my sweet angel." Harry cooed as softly as he could, Louis now dry heaving every few moments.

"Hi bud, we're going to make you feel all better," one of the medical team said as Harry moved out of the way. The man had to quiet Kia, the dog starting to growl a bit when she saw new people trying to get near her baby. She silenced at Harry's scratching, understanding that they weren't harming her boy.

Louis screamed and cried when he was placed on a stretched, stomach feeling like it was going to burst open. He just wanted to curl into a ball.

"I know, bud. We've got to keep you all straightened out to help your tummy feel better," one of the men tried to explain.

Louis must've woken up the whole neighborhood with his anguished cries. Harry couldn't help but cry as they got into the ambulance, his little boy's pain impacting him in the worst of ways.

This was his fault. He should've asked Niall what he was cooking.

"Snap out of it man. We'll get your little boy all fixed up," one of the EMTs said. He'd seen that look on a parent's face was too often. 

"Thank you," Harry said quietly, leaning over to grab Nick's hand.

They arrived to the hospital soon after, running after their sick little boy who was half asleep and half crying on a stretcher. It was the worst sight in the world.

"Get the RFI IV ready, we've got a severe case. Aged 0-18 months, approximately 7 ounces of ribeye steak," the EMT pushing Louis said to the doctors and nurses who were waiting right inside the main hospital entrance

One of the nurses ran off to get the IV ready in the boy's room, not wanting to waste time.

Louis was pushed down the hall even further, the team of medical personnel conversing about his condition as Nick and Harry were held back.

"Unfortunately, you can't be in the room while your son gets his treatment administered. I can show you to a private waiting room near where he's located," a nurse stationed at the front desk said quietly, aware of the stares of other visitors.

Nick nodded, gripping Harry's hand tightly. Once sitting in the private waiting room, they figured out a plan of action.

"I'm going to call Lucy and have her go over to fix up Louis' room," Harry said, speaking of the woman who cleans their house when they are out of town or in need.

"I'll call Alberto and have him and some of your security detail get over here. I saw at least one person taking a photo. Louis doesn't need to deal with paps on his way out," Nick said. It was baffling that they couldn't even go to the hospital in peace. People had no respect.

Once Louis' bed was getting remade and they were sure the dog was taken care of, they called their mums. Sure, they were daddies, but... they needed their mums.

Both women pledged to make their ways to the hospital immediately, shaking their husbands out of their TV watching stupors to get up. Their grandson needed them. 

"It's not our fault," Harry said to Nick quietly. It wasn't.

"I know baby, it's not. But I still feel shit," Nick laughed unamusedly. 

"So do I, God, he's hurting so much. I just want to see him," Harry said tiredly.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Harry leaning his head on Nick's shoulder.

A doctor walked into the waiting room, shutting the door behind himself. Harry and Nick couldn't sit up quick enough.

"Is he okay?" They both asked at the same time.

"I'm Doctor Alminas, I'm an adpediatric doctor here at the hospital," the man said shaking each of the men's hand as they introduced themselves.

"Louis is suffering from a severe case of regressive food indigestion. I take it you both know what that is?"

Nick and Harry nodded solemnly, similarly unable to get words out of their mouth. 

"He's currently on an RFI IV, the fluid entering his body and working to break up the food. The medicine helps to do what his body can't when it comes to breaking up the food he's ingested. The poor boy is asleep right now, but he should be right as rain in about 24 hours or so."

"Is he going to be in more pain?" Harry asked.

"Well, as much as I'd like to say no... He will. The food will be digestable, yes, but when it exits his body it'll cause him a lot of pain. Our nurses and doctors will continue to keep him clean and comfortable, so don't worry about that. As soon as we see how he's doing, we can come up with a game plan for once he's home." 

Nick and Harry could do nothing but nod. They'd failed their little boy and hoped he could forgive them.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****male lactation****

Harry knew that this was rightful karma. He'd been up all night with chest pain. When he said his heart was breaking for his little boy, he could now put a legitimate feeling to that sentiment. He deserved it.

When he'd finally fallen into a restful sleep, he'd woken up a few hours later to the news that Louis still wasn't up. 15 hours later and his baby was still sleeping. 

His and Nick's parents were there by that point, so were Alberto and Dale. Alberto was standing guard outside of Louis' room currently. The guards had been taking shifts outside of his room, and it made Harry want to melt into a pile of goo. They cared about his little boy so much. 

He'd said it before, but he truly deserved the physical pain he was in for making his baby feel this way. He and Nick sat on either side of Louis' hotel bed, removing the crib like attachments the hospital had thoughtfully put on.

Harry softly stroked his finger down Louis' cheek, unable to stop tearing up at seeing the boy look so frail. His wrist looked so small, IVs sticking out, breathing tubes hooked in his nose. 

Doctor Alminas walked in, asking how Harry and Nick were doing. Harry was content with saying he was fine, but Nick mentioned Harry's pain to the doctor.

The man had a small smile on his face, looking more amused than concerned. "Ah, now your little one's long slumber makes sense. Biology never fails to amaze me."

Harry and Nick shared inquisitive looks. 

"What do you mean, doctor?" Nick asked, wanting a concrete answer. 

"Well, think about it this way... your little boy is more at the age of an infant than a toddler. When true children are first born, what do they eat?" 

"They nurse from their mum," Harry answered slowly, starting to understand where this was going.

Doctor Alminas smiled. "And you know of young littles who still nurse from their m-doms?"

"Not personally, but I've heard of it," Harry affirmed.

"Well, in male dom pairings, sometimes something similar occurs. A baby will send out distress signals to one of their dominants, and their body will accommodate to help their baby. Meaning in this situation that your body is preparing you for lactating. There's no need to worry about your body changing, biology has emerged to the point where you can produce milk in the physical state you're currently in."

Harry sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to comprehend this. His thoughts were headed down a few paths. He didn't feel emasculated by the fact that he was the one who'd be feeding Louis, that he was seen as more of the boy's mother figure. He wanted to provide for Louis, he felt honored that he could provide for his baby. But what if Louis rejected him? He didn't know if he could handle that.

Harry tried to formulate his thoughts, "What if he rejects me?"

Doctor Alminas gave him a soft smile, understanding Harry's thought process. This wasn't his first rodeo. "He won't. He is the reason that you began to lactate in the first place; his brain and body need it... need you. Your body has been equipped for this since birth, it lays dormant in d-doms, only coming out when a signal is sent from l-sub to p-dom. Sounds a bit like what the people of old would watch in a fi-sci movie. Yes, I believe that's the term. As soon as he wakes up, you'll see. I'll bet all of my money that he starts trying to nurse the moment you pick him up."

"And my body will continue to produce it? What else will he need to eat?" Harry asked, gripping Nick's hand over Louis' body. 

"Your body will indeed continue to produce it. You'll need to feed him three or four times a day for the first few weeks, as he will be healing. He will be very weak as he returns home. His body sent out distress signals to you, signaling that he is in dire need of the nutrients and comfort provided by nursing from one of his doms."

"Will his digestive system ever recover fully?" Nick asked.

"It will. He just must be kept to a strict diet, either breast milk or formula, jarred little food, or mashed fruits and cereal. I'll have my nurses make you up a suggestion list. In a few weeks your body might stop making milk. It'll unfortunately have to be a see as we go kind of process; biology works in weird ways." 

"That would be very helpful. Thank you so much, Doctor." Nick said gratefully.

"It's my pleasure, gentlemen. Let me know if you need anything else. Press the call button when Louis is awake, a nurse will come assist you with feeding and answer any questions you may have."

The men sat there for a bit, talking quietly and stroking Louis' baby soft skin. They eventually got up to grab food, alternating so that they didn't leave Louis alone for a moment. They'd denied the nurses' offers to change Louis' diapers, taking it upon themselves to do so. That's how Louis would've wanted it. 

Their boy finally started to stir around 7pm. Harry's butterfly tattoo had a lot of friends at the moment. All he could think was... what if Louis rejected him? Louis let out soft noises, eyes scrunching shut, but not opening back up. Harry and Nick would do anything to see their baby's pretty blue eyes. 

Nick must've pressed the call button when Harry was stuck in thought, as the kindest nurse they'd dealt with was now in the room with them.

"Harry, if you'd like to place Louis on your lap it'd be great. Perfect, there you go," The nurse instructed.

Louis felt so small in his arms. It was like he'd lost half of his body weight in 24 hours. 

"Hi sweetheart," Harry cooed softly, bringing Louis closer to his body. 

Louis let out a soft whine, curling closer into Harry's body with a shiver. Nick was quick to wrap the boy in a soft blanket they'd brought from home. 

"Our sweet boy," Nick said quietly, softly stroking Louis' silky hair.

Louis' eyes didn't open as he moved his head towards Harry's chest, starting to suckle at his collar bone. The boy let out a frustrated sound, presumably upset that he wasn't drinking milk. Harry looked to the nurse with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.

"Gently guide his head towards one of your nipples, he should do the rest," the nurse instructed. 

Harry did as she said, guiding Louis to his left pectoral. The boy immediately latched on, beginning to suck at his nipple. It was a long moment before milk started to flow out, Harry feeling more relieved than he ever had. Louis let out a pleased noise. Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He could provide for his baby. 

It was certainly a weird feeling. Harry'd only ever met littles twice in his life. One of them was a man who'd lived near him in Cheshire. Harry used to hear whispers about he drank his d-dom's milk, and Harry never understood why that's weird people out. Sure, kids are easily fascinated, but still. To provide for your child in such a personal way is an honor that wasn't received by all. 

Sure, he wouldn't be feeding Louis in public, but he'd make sure his boy was happy and healthy. he owed it to him. 

He looked up from where Louis was nestled against him to make eye contact with a softly smiling Nick. 

"Our baby," Nick murmured. Harry replied with a kiss to his lips.

Louis eventually stopped nursing, leaning against his daddy was a contented sigh.

"Papa would love to see your pretty eyes, darling," Nick coaxed, wanting to see if Louis would open his eyes. 

Miraculously, Louis did open his eyes relatively soon after Nick coaxed him into it.

The nurse shut the lights off a few minutes before, wanting Louis to be able to adjust to the lighting without hurting his eyes. 

Nick and Harry were expecting a relatively happy Louis, but the moment they saw his eyes they were covered in a sheen of tears.

The little boy started to cry quickly, his voice hoarse due to a lack of talking. Louis clutched his stomach with his hands, and looked down to see the IV still in his arm. It's safe to say his cries picked up immensely, Nick gently grabbing his free hand so he couldn't attempt to take it out.

Doctor Alminas entered the room with a concerned look on his face, coming over to the bed where the three sat. 

"Hi Louis, my name is Doctor Alminas. How are you feeling?" The doctor asked softly.

Louis hiccuped and breathed heavily until his tears came to a stop, looking at the doctor with wide eyes. 

"He's really regressed right now, Doctor. I'm not sure he understands you," Harry said quietly. 

The way that Louis turned and smiled happily at his daddy's voice, pressing slobbery kisses to his cheek before letting out a pained whimper certified his statement. Their poor little one couldn't even figure out what was wrong with himself.

"Does your tummy feel icky?" Doctor Alminas asked while touching his own stomach with a sad face, reframing his approach. 

Louis nodded sadly, finally comprehending what was being asked of him. 

"Okay, bud, I'll help you feel better," The doctor said, going to converse with his nurse as they walked out of the room. Nick followed them out of the room because him and Harry both wanted to know what was going on, and trying to move Harry out from under Louis would not work out too well.

"What's wrong, doc?" Nick asked concerned.

"Well, he has now digested his food, but it's sitting in his little stomach unmoving. We need to get his digestive track moving again, to put it in pretty terms. We don't need to give him a suppository, but he'll need to drink some laxative or receive an IV with laxative laced in his normal fluids. It's up to you. Both are safe, and it depends on whether or not you think he'd drink it."

Nick sighed, thinking for a moment. "I would give him the IV. He'll spit it out the moment he tastes something that is a bit off."

The doctor smiled softly, "I'll have a nurse bring it in right now."

Nick walked back in the room, unable to not enjoy the sight of Harry holding their little boy close in his arms. He felt blessed to have a little who was truly little compared to both him and Harry. Obviously, he would still love Louis if the boy was taller or heavier, but... to have him be so small that he fit on their laps perfectly was ideal. 

"My boys, how are we feeling?" Nick asked softly, resuming his post on Harry's side. 

"We're just very sleepy, aren't we sweetheart?" Harry murmured, the continued slow blinking of Louis' eyes a testament to that. 

Nick hummed sympathetically, not wanting to Louis to stir from his peaceful state. It'd be easier to get the IV changed and have the unpleasantries occur while he slept. 

"They're coming in to put laxative in his fluid IV," Nick said quietly to Harry once he was sure the baby was asleep. 

Harry nodded solemnly. "I just want him to feel better."

When Louis was screaming and crying as the medicine took effect it was hard to keep that mantra in his mind. But he tried. 

Once Louis was all cleaned up and rediapered, Nick held him close in his lap. Things could only get better from there. 

"There's my sweet boy, I bet your tummy is feeling lots better," Nick said more to himself than anyone else. 

Harry'd went to grab their mums, the women still anxiously awaiting the chance to see Louis. They figured it wouldn't hurt to let them in for a moment before he went to bed. After all, they'd been waiting for almost a day to see him. 

Louis let out small noises behind his pacifier, so weak and worn out that he could do nothing but curl into his papa's warmth.

The door to his room opened quietly a few minutes later, Alberto quietly asking if Louis was okay to have his visitors. At Nick's approval, the mums followed Harry in the room. 

Anne and Eileen took a seat by the hospital bed, eyes somber as they took in Louis' diminutive form. 

The women only stayed for a moment, not wanting to interfere when the nurse came in to add more fluid to his IV. 

Nick and Harry sat on the couch next to Louis' bed while he slept, watching Game of Thrones quietly. He'd slept for about three hours before he'd started crying again, Harry and Nick quickly getting up and moving over to sit on either side of his bed and attempt to calm him. 

It was obvious what the fuss was when he immediately latched his mouth onto Nick's arm blindly, sucking as if he would receive milk. Harry let out a coo, immediately unbuttoning his shirt and settling Louis on his lap. 

The boy drank eagerly at first, filling up his empty tummy that was experiencing hunger for the first time in over a day. His drinking slowed, Harry chuckling quietly as he saw Louis' eyes closed. His boy was continuing to suckle on him in his sleep, seemingly comforted by the way that Harry felt in his mouth. Harry quickly placed a pacifier in Louis' mouth in its place before allowing Nick to tuck him into bed.

He wasn't sure how he'd feel about feeding Louis, but it was so much better than anything he could've imagined. He was providing his little boy with sustenance that kept him alive. It was a powerful feeling, something that made him feel proud. He was proud to be able to help his little boy, and he was glad that he could be there when Louis needed him. 

He hoped that he could continue to provide for him, in any way that he needed to. He and Nick cuddled up on the small couch and fell asleep, hoping tomorrow was a better day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me have it. praise it to the skies if you like what I did, yell at me if you don't. I'll decide whether or not I keep it in based on your reactions!
> 
> what that means is.... tell me what you think!!!!!!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is too busy. I love you all. Thank you for waiting. You are perfect human beings.

Louis had been in in one haunted house before. He couldn’t exactly say no to the trip, as the whole cast of Xfactor went. But it was terrifying. And terrible. And something he never wanted to do again. He remembered the endless amounts of thick fog, and how he felt like he’d never have a clear mind or eyes again. That was how he felt right now. He couldn’t make sense of it in his mind, let alone put it into words. He was so sleepy. His tummy hurt for a bit, but not anymore. But yeah, he was so so sleepy.

He couldn’t remember the last time his eyes were open. He knew that it’d been a while; he remembered being awake and in pain, but that was it. He had no recollection of what happened, just that his tummy hurt.

But now? His thoughts were coherent, but he couldn’t wake up quite yet. Yet again, he felt himself succumbing to the ubiquitous sleepiness that’d been plaguing him.

Louis scrunched his eyes together tightly before weakly and slowly opening them. He couldn’t tell you why he finally felt good enough to wake up, but he did.

“Shut the blinds and turn the lights off,” a faint voice hissed.

He had to blink a few times before he could actually see; it was like a film over his eyes was receding with every blink. The first thing he saw was a white wall. Where was he?

Nick and Harry were praying that he’d be happier than the last time he’d woken up over a day ago. The steak was finally out of his little tummy, and they could only hope he was feeling better. And if he wasn’t, they hoped someone had finally come up with a way for them to take his pain away. Both of them would suffer hell’s wrath in an instant for their little boy.

The moment Harry noticed Louis’ eyes start to dart around in confusion at the unfamiliar setting, he began to soothe him.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. Papa and I are right here, you’re okay,” Harry cooed quietly, moving to sit on Louis’ hospital bed.

Louis turned his head at the sound of his daddy’s voice, surprised at how jelly-like his neck felt. He couldn’t quite turn it back to where it was, neck stuck looking at his daddy.

Luckily the man figured out his predicament and gently turned his neck back to a comfortable decision. He loved his daddy, but he didn’t love feeling like this. So he started to cry.

It took a while for him to stop crying even with his daddy and papa cuddling both sides of him.  
He didn’t know why his body felt like jelly, but he didn’t like it. And then he saw a needle stuck in his wrist and that started a whole new wave of tears.

“Our brave baby,” Papa murmured, gently rubbing his tummy just how he liked it.

A man Louis didn’t recognize walked into the room, causing him to weakly whimper. His daddy shushed him, letting him know that there was no reason to worry.

“Hi, doctor,” His daddy said quietly.

“Hello gentleman. How are we feeling, Louis?” The doctor asked as he walked into the room.

Louis simply stared at the man, unsure of what kind of response he was looking for.

The stranger let out a slight chuckle, “I’m Doctor Alminas. I’m not sure if you remember, but you’ve been a sick little boy. Your daddies have been helping me take great care of you.”

Thinking back, the last thing Louis could remember was playing with Niall at his house. He didn’t know what happened, but with the way he felt and how fuzzy his mind was… he couldn’t quite find it in himself to care.

Louis simply curled closer to his papa as the new man talked. He didn't know who he was, and he had pointedly spent the last seven years dodging doctor's offices and hospitals... and that's exactly what this place looked like.

The little closed his eyes, content to lay there and soak in the attention he was receiving from his papa and daddy. As the weeks passed with his daddies, he started to rely more on voice tone and facial expressions than actual words. It didn't make much sense to him, but he knew he was happy when his daddies were. And that was most of the time. He loved them. So much.

Naturally, that big, emotional thought that was rumbling around his head made him cry. He cried more at the pain that crying caused him; his throat felt like it was on fire, his usually high voice sounding like a lifelong smoker's.

The second he blindly reached out for one of his daddies he was taken into a pair of arms, his daddy's, he knew as curls tickled his cheek.

"This is so scary, hm? It's okay, angel. Your daddies are going to take good care of you," Harry softly whispered to his crying little boy. For the millionth time, he prayed for a way that he could transfer his baby's pain to himself.

After Louis' cries died down Doctor Alminas began to speak again, "Once he nurses again we'll send you on your way. I'll send a nurse in to make sure everything is okay. I could tell you that he will be quite infantile in his mindset and abilities for a while, but it's case by case. He'll be very weak from the RFI medication, but its residual effects are known to be quite severe for the first few weeks on both mind and body. Our medical staff is only a call or short drive away. Please feel free to call with any and all questions. I’ll be back once he’s nursed."

Nick and Harry shook the doctor's hand from where they were curled around Louis, not wanting to disturb the boy. After he left, it was just a waiting game. Harry was briefed on how to nurse Louis once he was home and knew that he'd need milk around four times a day at first while his stomach was growing stronger. His stomach had been severely shrunk with the RFI meds, and if he overate then he'd get severely sick. They did not want that to happen again, so they'd be taking it slow. The nurse said it was as if he was a true infant, starting with his parent's milk and slowly moving to baby food and cereal before being able to eat solids again. Harry and Nick were dumbfounded, not having realized the severe consequences that eating heavy adult food would cause for Louis. They were once again hit hard with the knowledge that they didn't know everything there was to being a parent.

They sat quietly for almost an hour, Harry's anxiety growing as the minutes passed. How would Louis react to nursing from him? Would he know what to do? When would he be hungry?

Harry and Nick both stilled as Louis let out a soft whine, panicked gazes averted to the nurse who left out a soft chuckle. She stood up and took a seat on the side of Louis' hospital bed.

"Everything will be fine, gentleman," she said in the soothing tone of someone who'd been here once or twice before, "Hi, Louis, is your tummy hungry?" she asked in a sweet tone while touching her own stomach.

Louis looked up at the mention of the name, which Harry considered a great development. His eyes were still blinking slowly, as if he'd fall asleep again any moment.

Nick gently rubbed Louis' shoulder while repeating her question. "Are you hungry, baby?"

For whatever reason, that got through to Louis. He nodded with a pitiful whimper, smacking his lips together as he often did at night when waiting for his bottle.

Despite the nurse's reassurances, Harry felt his mind go blank, unable to think rationally when the possibility of Louis rejecting him existed.

Harry was in a catatonic state, ears buzzing and brain full of cotton. His eyes were open, but he wasn't seeing, too nervous for the rejection he was sure would come. Louis was everything to him and he’d come so far… what if this would push him too far? He hoped to every power above that it wouldn’t. 

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, unmoving even as a breeze tickled his upper chest. It was like the world started moving again when he felt lips on his nipple, sight and sound registering with him after a scary moment of nothingness.

Louis was curled up against him, drinking milk after having a confused conversation with Nick that Harry missed in his petrified state. Nick wasn't sure how much the little understood, but he'd uttered a question of "daddy baba?" after Nick fumbled an explanation without any help from his lovely fiancé. Nick's affirmation was enough to get him to start drinking, and that'd have to be enough for now.

Harry looked down to Louis's curious eyes, open wider than they had been since he'd been admitted to the hospital.

"There's my sweet boy, getting his tummy all full,” Harry cooed down, heart flooding with warmth at the way Louis’ eyes lit up at the sound of his voice.

Louis was half asleep by the time he pulled off of Harry’s chest, the nurse standing up at the change of position.

“Let me just grab the doctor, and we’ll send you on your way,” she said with a smile as she exited the room.

Nick hummed quietly as he stroked Louis’ hair. “Almost time to go home and see your friend Kia and sleep in your comfy crib.”

“Hello gentleman,” the doctor said as he breezed into the room before Louis or Harry could even reply.

“Hi doctor, almost ready to go?” Harry asked hopefully. They’d spent enough time in the hospital; he was hoping they wouldn’t have to come back for a long while. 

Doctor Alminas chuckled, “The papers are filled, and you’re ready to go. If you need any other instruction, just call us up. Louis, I’m glad you’re feeling better. Good luck, gentleman!” 

Harry stood up to go and talk to the swath of security guards that were outside of the room in anticipation of Louis being discharged. 

"Ready to go?" Alberto asked when he saw Harry, starting to stand up alongside Dale, Paddy, Phil, and Basil. 

"Yeah, Nick is getting Lou dressed and then we can hit the road. Is it still a madhouse outside?"

"Safe to say the paps aren't leaving until the car is on the road. We'll have a car in front of you and behind you to make sure no one tries to follow you into the neighborhood before the gate closes," Phil explained. 

Harry sighed. He'd had the delusion that paps would respect their privacy, but they obviously hadn't. A picture was a picture, and a picture was money. That's all that that mattered to them. 

"Paddy and I are heading out to make sure the path is cleared, we'll meet you at the front doors," Leo said with a nod. 

Nick exited the room with a bundled up Louis in his arms, the little boy wrapped in blankets from head to toe. It was snowing out and his immune system was shot. Getting pneumonia was not in the cards for him if Nick and Harry could help it. 

Phil headed into grab their bags before Nick could even ask them to. Harry thought for the millionth time about how grateful he was to have such caring bodyguards in their lives. Here they were on New Year's Eve, helping get the little family out of the hospital. It meant a lot, more than Harry could put into words without becoming a blubbering mess. He knew they understood the words behind his gracious smile. 

"You got him?" Alberto asked gruffly as he looked at the cocooned little boy in Nick's arms. 

"Yeah, should be good. Just stick close by in case anything should change," Nick said quietly as he bounced Louis. The little boy was grumpy- rightfully so- and Nick just wanted this walk to be over as quick as possible. He was dreaming of his bed and the chance to relax after a couple of terribly stressful days. 

Alberto nodded in reply, tearing his eyes off of Louis' covered form after a long moment. 

The walk to the car couldn't have been more than ten seconds, but the screaming and flashing lights somehow transformed it into an infinite traipse. 

Thankfully the car was warmed up, and Dale was ready to pull away the second that Louis was taken out of the blankets and strapped into his car seat. 

Nick looked over to see Louis sucking heavily on a pacifier that Harry had placed into his mouth, his eyes bloodshot and watery. He looked tired and gaunt. Nick knew he and Harry wouldn't sleep well until Louis regained the weight that they worked so hard to help him gain. 

Louis pointed his hands towards the floor where his diaper bag sat, quickly opening and closing his fists while letting out a soft whine. 

"Do you want your friend, love?" Nick asked, grabbing Lacy out of the bag and handing her over. He was glad his mum thought to grab her while getting bags together to bring to the hospital. 

The way that Louis hugged her was answer enough. 

\------------------------------------------

Louis had been sleeping on and off for the past two days, giving Harry and Nick the chance to have a relaxing and romantic New Year's Eve. Definitely not how they expected the night to go, but they weren’t complaining. 

If the company that manufactured Niall’s gift to Louis needed a model… they had more than enough photos of Louis to suffice. Louis absolutely loved his swing. They set it up in the corner of the living room where he could be watched from the kitchen. It had an automatic rocker, and Louis fell asleep in record time when he was placed in it. It was like he was a real infant, sleeping all day and only waking up to nurse. The doctor said that he’d be like a puppy for a week or so, sleeping almost 24 hours a day. 

Harry took a peek at Louis from where he was cooking dinner; smiling slightly at the sight of a sleeping Louis, swing rocking calmly. 

He felt a vibrating on the counter, knowing that his blood would soon be boiling when he saw Niall’s name on his caller ID. Again. For the millionth time. The daddies decided not to speak with Niall just yet. Not until Louis was better. Sure, he’d get better, but… the pain was raw. Harry didn’t think he could look at Niall without losing his mind. His baby could’ve died due to his stupidity and thoughtlessness. He wouldn’t be getting anywhere near him for a while.

Harry jumped at the feeling of lips on his neck, so entranced in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Nick come downstairs. He shivered at the feeling of water dropping onto his collarbone; Nick’s hair still wet post-shower. 

“What’s on your mind,” Nick murmured.

“Guess who called again?” he asked annoyedly.  
“Hm… tough one. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten the message yet.”

And he hadn’t gotten the message. How’d they know? Well, he showed up to their house at nine that night and rang the doorbell. It would’ve pissed them off regardless, but the fact that he woke Louis up made Harry breathe fire. Nick was carrying him around the room, trying to soothe him. Harry? Harry was going to let Niall have it.

“Are you bloody serious?” Harry asked as soon as he opened the door, Niall’s hopeful eyes slowly dulling.

“Ya aren’t picking up-“ Niall started, Harry cutting him off almost immediately.

“Have you ever entertained the thought that maybe we don’t want to talk to you? You almost killed my baby with your thoughtlessness, Niall. I trusted you. Nick trusted you. This won’t just disappear from my mind in the blink of an eye.” The words were spilling out of Harry like lava, hot and disastrous. What surprised him most was the lack of sympathy he felt when he saw Niall’s eyes fill with tears. He’d spent the past five days watching his son cry and scream in agony. His tears were caused because of Niall.

Niall exhaled before nodding. “I get it, I do. I feel terrible, I feel so fuckin’ bad. Haven’t slept. It’s all I’ve thought about.”

It was a moment of clarity- Harry could tell Niall he had no idea what it was like to think about this, not to sleep, ask him how bad he REALLY feels. But he didn’t. He was a father, and he’d take the mature approach.

“Thank you for coming over, Niall. But I just need you to give us time. Have a good night,” Harry said with a tightlipped smile before closing the door. And there was the life lesson of the day: blood is unbelievably thicker than water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting for this, I promise I'll be updating more frequently. <3 love love love


	28. Chapter 28

As his mum often told him while he grew up, time can heal all wounds. And it did. Niall continued to send gifts for Louis to the house on an unpredictable schedule, the only certainty about the deliveries is that Louis loved absolutely everything he received. From rattles that sang Disney songs when Louis shook them to a three story motor train set, the gifts were thoughtful and expensive. Sure, money wasn't a problem for any of them- understatement of the century- but the fact that he took the time to search for gifts he knew Louis would love meant a lot.

"What are you doing, silly boy?" Harry cooed as he looked down to see Louis laying on his tummy on his play mat, shaking his rattle at Kia. It was a wonder to both Nick and Harry as to how the dog was so good with Louis, following him around everywhere and never getting annoyed with his treatment of her. Regardless of how much he touched her or got into her personal space she'd be patient and loving. She was all they could've asked for in both a dog and friend for Louis.

As for Louis? The treacherous hospital visit was almost a month ago, and he was slowly getting back to his normal self. February was but a day away, meaning his birthday was a day away as well. Harry pleaded for Nick to not do anything too crazy, all he needed was a quiet night with his boys. And maybe a night alone with Nick, that would be the best present he could get. Of course he loved his baby, but time alone with his fiancé was always treasured.

Speaking of his fiancé... a month of being house-bound meant they had time to plan their wedding. The wedding was set for July 19th on the beautiful island of Saint Kitts. They'd found a private resort that they could rent out for the week, so that's what they did. Sure, the wedding was close, but they couldn't wait any longer.

And that brought them to today. Louis was starting swimming lessons at a private swim school, Goldfish Swim School, that specialized in both true children and littles. While showing him the resort and all of the fun waterslides for him to play on, Louis devolved into a state of panic. An anxiety attack later, they found out that Louis liked swimming with dolphins, yes, but he wasn't the best swimmer. His fears of his daddies being disappointed with him were obviously unfounded, and Nick signed him up for swimming lessons as soon as they put Louis down for his nap.

And here they were on his first day of swimming lessons. The woman on the phone promised that they'd be met with confidentiality and an instructor who specialized in water anxiety and littles. Nick and Harry were both attending, obviously.

_"Let's get some yummy milk in our tummy before we go swim, angel," Harry said as he bent down to pick up Louis, the boy dropping his rattle as he left the ground. Louis couldn't start nursing quick enough, whining at the time his daddy took to get situated on the couch. He nurses from his daddy for breakfast and dinner now, but as of a week ago, he started to eat solid food for lunch._

_  
"All right, darling, let's go have some lunch!" Nick said as he plucked Louis up out of his bouncer where he was playing with some blocks. The little let out a happy noise as he looked to the kitchen where his daddy was, excited to have his special time with him._

_At first, he was scared his daddy wouldn't like him drinking from him, but the man explained it was a special bond between them and he loved spending time with him. So everything was okay._

_Louis was confused when his papa strapped him into his high hair._

_"Daba?" He asked. Dada baba was seemingly too hard to say, so he'd coined the term daba for nursing._

_"Nope! We're going to have some yummy rice pudding!" his daddy said with a happy smile._

_Louis didn't return his smile. He repeated his question, his voice a bit less optimistic._

_"We're going to have some yummy food, baby," Harry said as he walked over, bringing a light blue Bubble Guppies bowl filled with cinnamon rice pudding with him. Doctor Alminas said to start with the blandest of foods to make sure Louis could stomach solids._

_Louis looked down at the food that was placed on his highchair tray before looking up at his daddies with squinted eyes. Nick and Harry shared a quick look, both unfortunately unsurprised by the turn this was taking. Louis was a creature of habit, as most babies were, and he loved his routine. He loved the time spent nursing from his daddy, or drinking a bottle in his papa's arms the few times his daddy had to leave during his meal times._

_"Daba?" Louis asked for a third time, his voice wobbly in a way that Nick and Harry knew was dangerous._

_Nick took a stab at quelling Louis' pending temper tantrum, "Lou, love, the Doctor said your tummy can have solid foods! Don't you want some yummy rice pudding?" The man scooped up a small bit of rice pudding and brought it to Louis' lips. Before he could even tell Louis to open his mouth, the little started to scream and bang his feet on the footholds of his highchair. The cherry on the temper tantrum cake was the rice pudding that was thrown onto the floor._

_Nick and Harry only floundered for a moment, Nick quickly going to pick Louis up out of the highchair and bringing him to the living room where Harry was already sat. Telekinesis? Maybe, but whatever their mind connection was, they were grateful for it._

_"Louis, you need to stop moving or you're going to hurt yourself," Nick commanded, the boy continuing to thrash in his arms as he screamed. Nick continued to stand solid until Louis fell limp in his arms, the tears continued to fall. Once he was sure that Louis was subdued, he took a seat on the couch and turned Louis in his lap so that he was facing him and Harry._

_Nick knew that he'd have to lead this conversation- Louis saw him as the rule maker and upholder, so that's what he'd do._

_"Are you listening, Louis?" Nick asked the little boy. He nodded with a sniff, tears drying on his face. It was an awful site, one that made him want to forget about all serious conversations that needed to be had. What kind of father would he be if he let Louis get away with this? He took a deep breath, channeled Danny Tanner, and started to speak._

_"Will you tell daddy and papa why you're so upset?"_

_Louis' eyes went wide as he began to talk, "N-no daba! Bad food."_

_"Did daddy make you lunch?" Nick asked. Louis nodded. "Was it nice to throw daddy's food? Do you think it made him feel good?"_

_Louis' eyes welled up with tears again at his papa's questions. He didn't realize he could've hurt his daddy's feelings, he just didn't want rice pudding! He crawled over to his daddy's lap and snuggled close._

_"Did I hurted daddy?" he asked quietly as if his question would push Harry over the edge._

_"You didn't hurt daddy's feeling, love, but it wasn't very nice for you to throw the food. You've got to eat lunch so that you have lots of energy to play with Kia and your toys!"_

_"Daba give energy!" Louis retorted, not understanding why they'd try and change his eating schedule._

_"Your doctor said that you should have solid foods for lunch, darling. You need to trust your daddies and eat what they give you. Daddy is going to make you some more rice pudding for lunch, if you don't eat it you're going to have some quiet thinking time. Do you understand?" Nick felt bad, but knew his sternness was necessary to help Louis understand._

_"Yeah, papa," Louis said with a sad nod._

_"You're our good boy," Nick said as he scooped Louis into his arms and pressed kisses all over his face, getting the peal of giggles he was searching for._

_Harry quickly made more rice pudding, adding cinnamon into it once more. Nick and Harry alternated feeding Louis bites, the only complaint coming before he tasted it._

Harry smiled as he remembered how grumpy Louis had been; ironically, Louis' favorite food out of those he'd tried over the past week was rice pudding. But, he thought smugly, Louis loved nursing from his daddy more than anything. Harry melted every time he heard his favorite little voice say the word daba. It was just so damn cute.

He was scared to tell his and Nick's mums that he'd started nursing Louis, afraid of judgment. Of course, they'd immediately demanded photos, ones that Harry and Nick did have but were not showing anyone. They'd have to imagine how cute Louis was all curled up on his lap, eyes shutting in relaxation and happiness regardless of the time of day he was nursing.

"Daba?" Louis asked impatiently, waking Harray from his thoughts.

"Yeah, sweetheart! Papa is going to get you into a nice, new swim diaper upstairs and then daba."

"Papa!" Louis repeated excitedly, squirming in his curly haired daddy's arms as he was carried up the stairs.

"Did I hear someone say papa?" Nick said as he walked out of his and Harry's room.

Louis let out a happy gurgle at the sight of the man, acting as though he hadn't seen him in a month instead of just thirty minutes. Despite that, Nick was more than happy to grab his little boy from Harry's arms and be on the receiving end of his excited affection. They'd worked out a schedule that benefited both of them, Harry watching Louis while Nick was at work and Nick having time with Louis in the afternoon while Harry did what he needed to.

"Time to get all changed into your swimsuit, lovey," Nick said as he unsnapped Louis' legless onesie and pulled it over his head.

"Swim with Mr. Nathan?" Louis asked, voice muffled as a soft t-shirt that proclaimed Louis as "Daddies' Sweet Boy," which Anne bought so that "neither daddy would be left out."

"That's right! We get to meet Mr. Nathan and go swimming with him," Nick said. During Harry's first conversation with the swim school he'd gone through a laundry list of qualifications he was looking for in a swim instructor while Nick watched on in amusement. By the grace of the Gods above, the woman assured him that Nathan was the perfect instructor for Louis (according to Harry's list of qualification that meant he was well equipped to deal with anxiety, wouldn't get overwhelmed with who he was dealing with, was confidential, had dealt with little little ones, and had a good sense of humor and enthusiasm).

Louis smiled up at him, and Nick smiled back. He was surprisingly overjoyed to go swimming, so Nick and Harry were making sure they kept that attitude up. They knew hisbanxiety would probably creep in once they arrived, but they would deal with that when it came. Louis was placed in sweats after he got his swim diaper on, he'd be changed into his bathing suit once they arrived at the swim center.

Nick picked Louis up and carried him into his and Harry's room. Harry was lounging on the bed with his iPad, looking up and smiling when he saw his favorite boys come into the room.

"Do you know whose birthday it is tomorrow, Loulou?" Nick asked.

"Dada's!" Louis said with a giggle, "Papa said dada's old."

Harry let out a bark of laughter, "Papa is so silly, isn't he!"

"Daddy's going to look like Santa soon, isn't he!" Nick exclaimed, drawing another string of giggles from Louis.

"Hopefully I've got a few years left before that. Now, give me my little boy so he can fill his tummy up before swimming!" Harry said, sitting up and unbuttoning his shirt in preparation for Louis being placed on his lap. Nick joked that Harry only wearing button ups was finally coming in handy when it came to feeding Louis.

Nick gently placed Louis on the bed before climbing on himself, figuring he'd make himself comfortable for the time being. There were a few things he needed to finish up for Harry's birthday, but he was mostly ready for tomorrow. They'd be having their special night together on Saturday, but Wednesday's festivities were family friendly. Louis was excited to help give his daddy the best day ever, and Nick knew that Harry would consider tomorrow his best birthday ever simply due to the fact that they now had the most perfect son on earth.

"No no, sweet boy, you'll fall asleep if I sing you a song!" Harry said with a small smile as Louis looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes. When Louis was sick Harry started to sing to him while he nursed and he absolutely loved it. It was a sure fire way to calm Louis down, and Harry enjoyed having the chance to sing again.

Louis let out a sad whine, but ultimately let his hunger win over as he started to nurse. Once he was full, Nick picked Louis up and carried him downstairs. Once he was bundled up in his coat and hat Nick put him into his car seat, the vehicle warm and toasty due to the auto start. Bless technology.

"Ready to go?" Harry asked as he got in, placing the diaper bag on the floor of the car. Nick nodded and Louis sucked on his pacifier; they were off. The "Louis' Super Cool Jams" playlist started to play on Harry's phone- Nick and Harry called it "Louis' Anti-Anxiety Playlist" in private.

Their destination was a short drive away, and the parking lot was mostly empty as promised. They'd never have taken Louis for lessons so late on their own watch, but it was the only time there were no other lessons going on, so... here they were.

"Ready to go, darling?" Nick asked as he picked Louis up from the car. Louis nodded with a smile, holding his pacifier in his mouth with his teeth. His arms hooked tightly around his papa, worry starting to creep in as they approached the building. The letters on the building were bright and fish were swimming in between them, the designed definitely appealing to little ones.

As soon as the family entered the bright atrium a woman who sat behind the large front counter stood up and walked out into the main area to greet them.

"Hi gentleman! Welcome to Goldfish Swim School, I'm Kathleen," she said with a bright smile.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Nick," the oldest man said, shifting Louis in his arms so he could shake her hand.

"I'm Harry and this right here is Louis," Harry said with a smile, rubbing Louis' arm.

"It sure is nice to meet you all! Nathan will be right out, he's just finishing up some paperwork. If Louis needs to change, you can head into our Nemo room back and to your right!"

"Perfect, we'll head in there," Nick said with a smile towards the woman.

After making sure Louis' swim diaper was still dry, Nick changed the little into the swimsuit that Harry had just pulled out for him. Once Louis was dressed in his very favorite Surf's Gup! Bubble Guppies bathing suit he was picked up and carried out of the locker room to the pool area.

There was a large pool dominating the large gymnasium, several small pools surrounding it. Some of them had diving boards, swim lanes, and water slides, but others were simply empty.

"Hey guys! Give me a mo'," a male voice echoed through the large area, tile floors carrying his voice.

"No worries," Harry replied to the man as he retreated into a room located off of the pool area. True to his word, the man returned a moment later. He was built like a house, tall and very muscular. Before Louis could worry about how much bigger the man was than him, he greeted them with a large smile.

"Hey guys! I'm Nathan, it's so nice to finally meet you," he shook hands (quite firmly, Harry may add) with the daddies as they returned the sentiment before giving a very curious Louis a wave.

"Hey bud! I'm Nathan. You ready to go sit and talk for a minute?" His American accent was funny to Louis, and made him quite curious about how the man ended up in London.

The group sat down at a table, Louis continuing to bury his face in his papa's shoulder, far too shy to make eye contact with the stranger.

"Loulou, can you say hi to Mr. Nathan?" Nick asked quietly.

The adults waited patiently while Louis slowly uncovered his face and gave Nathan a small smile, face blushing beet red at the attention being on him.

"Good to see you, Louis! Let's get started with what we are going to do today. I made a series of lesson plans with the information that you provided me, so we'll see how everything goes. Nick and Harry, you can take a seat by the pool and just shout out if you need anything. Let's get a lifejacket on the little man and have some fun!" Nathan exclaimed before standing up and grabbing the life jacket that was next on the floor next to him. Louis averted his eyes as he was helped into his lifejacket.

"Love you, angel! You're going to have so much fun with Mr. Nathan. Papa and I will be right here the whole time, okay?" Harry explained to Louis, bending down so that he was on his level.

"You watch?" Louis asked him as he fiddled with the straps on his vest.

"Of course! Papa and I will be right here watching!" Harry promised him.

"Ready to go?" Nathan asked with a smile, grabbing Louis' hand after the little boy nodded. "We're going to pop a squat on the side of the pull and put our feet in the water."

Nathan helped Louis sit down on the edge of the pool before sitting down himself.

"We're going to dip our legs in the water, okay?" Nathan said, slowly settling his legs into the water. Louis tested the temperature by putting his big toe in and carefully put both of his legs in when he realized it was warm. He let out a surprised giggle when Nathan rubbed his foot with his own.

"So Louis, do you like to go swimming?" Nathan asked, wanting to probe the boy. He'd learned through years of this gig that parents often thought their child one way, but the reality of their minds was a lot different.

Louis nodded, pursing his lips for a moment before speaking. "I like dolphins 'nd splashing."

Nathan let out an exaggerated gasp, "You like to splash? Me too!" He held up his hand for a high five that Louis returned with a giggle.

"I splash my daddies in the bath," Louis admitted with a mischievous smiles.

"I like to splash in the pool... maybe we can have a splash fight later! We're going to hop in now, I'll help you get in. Your life jacket will help you stay on top of the water, and I'll be here to carry you or hold your hand. You ready to go?" Nathan asked, making sure to look Louis right in the eyes while he spoke. He hopped in the 4 foot water and turned to face Louis. The little boy hesitantly grabbed the man's hands after looking back at his daddies and receiving smiles and thumbs up from them.

Nathan pulled him into the warm water, placing pressure on his own hands so that Louis was standing up straight in the water.

"You all good, bud?" Nathan asked, receiving a nod from Louis. "Now we're just gonna move around the water a bit."

Nathan moved around the shallow bit of water, carrying Louis with him.

"All good, bud? It's not so bad in here, is it?" Nathan asked.

"Can't swim," Louis said quietly, his shoulders slouching down.

"Want to know a secret?" Nathan asked Louis quietly, looking around dramatically as if someone would magically appear and eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Papa says I'm a good secret keeper," Louis answered.

"I'll tell you a big secret then- I didn't know how to swim until I was 15! Then I practiced a lot with my swim teacher and learned how to be a great swimmer."

Louis gasped, "Really, Mr. Nathan?"

"Really! You'll be the best swimmer if you practice very hard with me, just like I know you will. Sound good?"

"I wanna be a good swimmer just like you."

"Then let's practice! We're going to try and put our heads under the water, okay? Just like this." Nathan demonstrated placing his head under his water while still keeping his hold on Louis. The little boy vowed to work as hard as he could at swim lessons until he was the best swimmer in the world.

Louis' first swim lesson flew by, and by the time he was done he'd practiced putting his head under water and floated on his back. He was half asleep in the bath, his daddies not even giving him toys to play with because they knew how sleepy he was.

"Baba," Louis murmured sleepily as his papa washed his hair.

"All right, pumpkin. Daddy will go grab your baba," Harry said with a small smile before getting up.

"Love daddies," Louis said, a yawn puncturing his words.

"We love you too," his daddies repeated at the same time, chuckling at their thoughts being in unison.

Once Harry was out of the room Nick quietly asked Louis if he was ready for tomorrow.

"Daddy gets lots of presents and kisses," Louis answered. He was excited to have the chance to give his daddy the best day ever, just like he always did for him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love y'all :)


	29. Chapter 29

Nick was planning on letting Harry sleep in while he and Louis- who would do more watching from his high chair than anything else- cooked him a birthday breakfast, but his plan was spoiled when both daddies woke up to Louis happily babbling on the baby monitor.

 

“Was gonna cook you a fry up while you slept,” Nick murmured, kissing Harry’s lips softly.

 

“Ta, love. Guess I’ll be spending an extra hour with my baby,” Harry said with a smile as he sat up in their bed.

 

“If you want to grab him then I’ll start up breakfast. Happy birthday, love,” Nick said as they walked over to the sink and began to brush their teeth.

 

Harry garbled an unintelligible reply, his smile still evident with the toothbrush in his mouth.

 

Both men put on sweatpants, Harry heading to the nursery as Nick went downstairs.  

 

Leaning against the door of Louis’ nursery, Harry smiled as he watched the little babble to Dusty and Lacy in his crib. Kia let out a bark from where she was curled in front of the crib, alerting Louis to the fact that he wasn’t alone any longer.

 

“Da!” Louis said excitedly, banging his beloved stuffed animals against the bars of his crib.

 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Harry said with a bright smile as he unlatched the side of the crib. He was greeted with a cooing baby who pressed slobbery kisses on his cheek as soon as he was situated in his arms.

 

“B-bir’day!” Louis garbled out. The doctors assured Harry and Nick that it was completely normal for Louis to have regressed fully after being ill. The weakness that he felt caused his guard to lower enough for regression to completely set in. Surely there was a medical reason for it, but the doctors didn’t bother trying to explain it in any other way than plain English.

 

“That’s right! It’s my birthday!” Harry said as he gently laid Louis on the changing table, pressing a kiss to Louis’ rounded tummy. The little boy let out a peal of giggles at the feeling.

 

Once Louis was changed and his teeth were brushed, he was brought downstairs and carried into the kitchen. The little boy squirmed in his daddy’s arms, tears coming to his eyes. He couldn’t help but be confused at the change in routine. He was sat on his daddy’s lap on the couch every morning while he nursed. Then he was put in his favorite swing while his daddy ate breakfast.

 

Sensing that Louis was getting upset, Harry shushed the little. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Daddy’s going to feed you in the kitchen today, don’t worry!”

 

Louis’ worries were quelled when Harry sat down at the kitchen table and took off his shirt so that he could nurse only moments later. Nick and Harry shared a smile at the happy noises that Louis was making, Harry still unable to believe the gift that he’d received when Louis was sick. It was still hard to wrap his head around the fact that something in Louis’ biology called out to him and his body knew to reply. It was fate in its truest and finest form.

 

“All right, a spinach and tomato omelet, bacon, and a glass of orange juice for my favorite birthday boy,” Nick sang out as he carried two plates over to the table.

 

“Thanks, love,” Harry said as he beamed up at Nick. It was no surprise that he loved being pampered by his fiancé, but he couldn’t help but feeling especially loved on his birthday.

 

Louis finished up nursing a few minutes later, leaning back drowsily against his daddy’s chest. Harry took that as a sign that it was okay for him to eat. The men talked quietly over breakfast, Harry trying to be extra cautious as to not spill any hot food on Louis. He couldn’t think of a worse way to spend his birthday; they’d had enough hospital visits for a lifetime.

 

“Your parents should be here a bit after noon. How about you open some presents from Lou and I now?” Nick asked, enjoying starting out the day slowly. Working in the mornings was draining, so his days off were always special. It was nice to have energy come 8pm. Although Louis was in bed by half seven, it was nice to have some… alone time with Harry once in a while. Intimacy was essentially nonexistent for the first few weeks after Louis got sick, so they appreciated downtime more than ever. They weren’t quite ready to leave Louis alone until the current week, but they’d be close by regardless. Now that he was completely regressed he was more helpless and infantile than ever, and the thought of something happening to him while they were out enjoying themselves was unthinkable. Of course they trusted Anne to watch Louis, but it was still tough to think about the what ifs.

 

“Lou make!” Louis said excitedly, straining his neck to see his papa grab the presents that he helped wrap. He was proud of how much he helped his papa and how secretive he was, both in buying and wrapping the presents. Harry didn’t have the heart to tell him that he knew exactly what the pair was up to when they kicked him out of the daddies’ bedroom and shut the door.

 

“Did you?” Harry asked in an excited voice, “Can you show daddy which ones you wrapped so I can open them first?”

 

Louis pointed out the three sloppily wrapped packages that Harry could have pointed out as the little’s with his eyes closed. Part of the fun of being a parent was seeing the excitement on your child’s face when they were proud of something, so why would Harry take that away from his son?

 

“All right,” Harry said as he grabbed one of Louis’ packages, “Do you want to help daddy open his presents?”

 

Harry chuckled as Louis shook his head quickly, endeared by his boy’s excitement at watching his daddy open up presents. It was another reminder that Louis was the most selfless little boy, and person, for that matter, that he had ever met. Louis solely wanted the best for his family and friends and would always put them before himself. Nick and Harry enjoyed having the chance to spoil Louis as they knew he had never been spoiled before.

 

The first present turned out to be a running leash that he could use with Kia. He’d been talking for weeks about how he’d like to take the dog on a run, but didn’t have the proper leash to do so.

 

“Oh wow! Did you make this, sweetheart?” Harry asked with a smile overtaking his face at the gift in front of him. It looked as though Louis had glued beads into the shape of a flower onto three different metal rings. Louis nodded with a huge smile on his face and pointed to his daddy’s fingers where rings were indeed littered onto his fingers. Harry put one of the rings onto his index finger and handed the other two to Nick.

 

“Will you put these in a drawer, love? I don’t want to lose them!” Harry said as Nick met his gaze with a knowing look. Louis choking on his own crafts was not on today’s agenda.

 

“Of course! Look at that, the blue of your shirt and the ring match! Our Louis is so smart,” Nick praised as he put the rings in a drawer and heads back to the table.

 

Louis blushed at his daddies’ praise, happy to see how much his daddy liked his crafts. He and his papa spent hours looking for the perfect craft to do, and he knew how much his daddy liked rings, so he knew it was the perfect craft! He and his papa went shopping for rings to use as his papa said they needed to be comfy for his daddy to wear them. He used flat, colorful buttons to make the flowers and they looked perfect. He was overjoyed to see how much his daddy enjoyed his gift.

 

“Hm, what’s this?” Harry asked as he picked up the poorly wrapped, flat package that was still sat on the counter. As he opened it, the smile that grew on his face was instantaneous. “You didn’t!” Harry said as he looked at Nick.

 

“I did- we did! It’s time to get shopping for clothes, we’ve got a photo shoot next week!” Nick exclaimed, his excitement completely over exaggerated. Harry had been begging Nick to book a family photo shoot after seeing one of his friends post professional photos with their true child on Facebook. Nick knew he’d be inconsolable until he said yes. He also knew that Louis would be inconsolable 15 minutes into the shoot.

 

“I already have our outfits planned out, I just need to buy them. Oh Nick, thank you so much,” Harry said, beckoning Nick over to kiss him. Louis was given a kiss as well, of course, the man never wanting to leave his son out.

 

Louis was asleep in Harry’s arms just minutes after they settled into the couch to watch the morning news. An upside of Louis’ regression was his concrete schedule and knowing that he’d be asleep at 10am, 3pm, and 7:30pm everyday. It allowed the men to form their schedule around their little boy’s schedule and actually get work done.

 

Harry gently placed Louis in his swing after swaddling him in a soft blanket. He had the better part of 90 minutes to spend with his fiancé, and he was damn well going to use them to the best of his abilities.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the absolute worsttttt, but I am alive. Short, but it is a chapter nonetheless. The next will include the photo shoot :) <3


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tiiiiime skip

Louis was doing his best to be quiet as he climbed out of his crib. It was scary to look at far down he had to jump, but he needed to do it. He’d been planning for months with his nana and grandma, but the execution was ultimately up to him. They both asked him a million times if he wanted their help, but he knew he needed to do this himself. Kia started whining as he slung one leg over the crib, but he shushed her as best as he could while hanging onto the crib. 

He tried not to giggle at the relieved kisses Kia planted all over his face once his feet were solidly on the floor; he was surprised his daddies hadn’t woken up yet! He had work to do. Crawling to the staircase, he held onto Kia’s collar as he scooched his bum down the stair, his dog patiently walking down beside him. 

Once in the kitchen, he toddled over to the drawer where he knew his nana put most everything he needed the day before. He was happy to have such a sneaky nana! His daddies didn’t even notice. 

Seeing the sunlight begin to stream into the kitchen, he knew his daddies would be up soon. Working quickly to make what he needed to, Louis smiled and giggled as he thought about how exciting the days to come were. They were leaving for his daddies’ wedding in a week and then he got to play in the sun for a week and a half! He was sad that his daddies would be going on a sunny moon because he wouldn’t get to stay in the sun with them. He’d get to be with his nana, Gemma, his grandma, and Alberto while they were gone! It was hard to be too sad when he knew he’d be able to play with all of his favorite people. 

Louis set the table with his two creations and went to climb on the living room couch to wait for his daddies to come downstairs.

The little boy didn’t really understand that his daddies would have lost their marbles if they went into his room and saw that he wasn’t there and the side of the crib was still up. Anne, having forethought, texted Harry to let him know for him and Nick to come straight downstairs if he didn’t want to ruin Louis’ day. Harry, trusting his mother, woke Nick up, and they quickly brushed their teeth before heading downstairs.

“Daddy, papa!” Louis giggled when he heard them coming downstairs, peeking his head over the top of the leather sofa to watch them come down the stairs.

“Hi silly boy, how’d you get out of your crib?” Nick asked, unable to let his worry over Louis completely go.

“Kia,” Louis said, as if using the dog’s name was a reasonable explanation. 

“You know not to get out of your crib, little boy. You’ll spend some time in the naughty corner next time you do that,” Nick reprimanded with a stern look.

Louis let out a gasp, “Not naughty! Go in kitchen, papa.”

Following their son’s orders the men went into the kitchen to be met with a sight that automatically put tears into both of their eyes. Harry couldn’t even think about the fact that they’d have to clean the mess up later, the sight completely worth the chaos that was their kitchen table.

On two of Louis’ plastic plates sat untoasted pieces of bread covered in whipped cream and blueberries that messily spelled out “ABC?” complete with a drawn picture of Louis in the middle of his two daddies.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Harry cried out, unable to grab Louis in his arms quick enough. Nick let out a sob as he hugged his fiancé, effectively squeezing Louis in between them. 

“Our sweet boy, we love you so much,” Nick choked.

“Louis marries his daddies,” the little boy said from where he was smushed between his daddies, a huge smile on his face. It was perfect! 

“That’s right, angel. Your papa and daddy will take care of you and love you forever and ever,” his daddy said with a huge smile.

“We love you so much,” his papa repeated, his thoughts too muddled to come up with a coherent thought. It would finally be official, over half a year later. Louis would be theirs; they’d never have to worry about his mother or anyone else trying to take custody of Louis or his finances. It would be their duty to protect Louis from any and every danger, but it was a job they were born to carry out. They wouldn’t let him down.

“Eat?” Louis asked, wanting his daddies to try out his masterpiece. Harry and Nick shared a look over his head. Uncooked bread now soggy with whipped cream- that had Louis’ fingerprints in it- and blueberries was not the celebratory breakfast they deserved.

Harry thought on his feet, “You know what angel? I think we should go to Jungle J? What do you think?”

Louis let out a gasp and bounced up and down, “Yes daddy! Yes!”

Jungle Java was connected to YSL and it was comprised of a café and huge indoor playset for littles. Nick and Harry had only brought Louis there once as he is often in an infantile headspace rather than that of a toddler. 

“Let’s get you all dressed and then we can head over!” Nick said as he picked Louis up and carried him up to his nursery. “What would you like to wear?”  
Louis thought about it for a second, “Princess!” 

“Of course,” Nick said with a nod. He headed into Louis’ closet and grabbed one of the millions of princess onesies that hung in there, conscientious of the fact that it was the second week of July and extremely hot out. Louis hummed happily as he was changed into his onesie and soft, tight black shorts before being placed on the ground. 

“Jungle J now, papa?” Louis asked with wide eyes.

“Let’s get your teeth all brushed first!” Nick said, smiling at the little boy’s pout. They hadn’t made any progress on Louis brushing his teeth, but it is what it is. It was a battle they didn’t want to fight, so the daddies continued to do it for him.

Once Louis was carried downstairs, he made his way to the couch and snugged up where his daddy was sitting.

At the feeling of his tummy grumbling, Louis looked up into his daddy’s green eyes. “Daba?” 

“Of course, angel, let’s get some food in you!” Harry cooed, unbuttoning his shirt and situating Louis on his lap.

Months after the incident, Harry’s body continued to produce milk. The doctors weren’t worried as the men were still supplementing Louis’ diet with formula and occasional solid foods. The little boy was contented to breastfeed once or twice a day, and Harry didn’t mind himself. He enjoyed having the chance to be so close to his baby. It was a special bond to share, and he would continue to milk it, pun intended, for his long as he could.

Louis didn’t notice his papa coming into the room and sitting on the couch after grabbing the keys and his wallet. The boy finished nursing minutes later, happy to lie in his daddy’s lap while the man burped him.

“There we are,” Harry cooed “Let’s get in the car and head to Jungle Java!”

Once at YSL, Louis was straining against his car seat, impatient for his super slow daddies to get out of the car and take him to play. 

Nick was amused at how excited Louis was. The only other time they’d been, Louis was terrified of going up and down the ladder and would only go down the open-top slide because Nick could hold his hand. He was interested to see whether or not Louis was as nervous this time around. On the one hand, he liked feeling like Louis needed his papa to protect him, but on the other hand, he wanted Louis to have fun and enjoy being a little boy.

Once in Jungle Java, Louis immediately made his way to the mesh tunnel that allowed access to the higher levels of the play structure. There were stairs, rock walls, poles, slides, tunnels, everything a little one could dream of. Harry and Nick made sure Louis stayed on the first level, only going on the smaller slides. The little never once complained, he had tons of fun regardless of how high he went.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too busy on a Saturday morning, the clientele already restricted to such a small group of people. 

Nick and Harry nodded to a few people they knew from their respective industries as they sat at a table, Nick pulling out his iPad so they could email their lawyers and investors.

“Think we should get this all squared away before we leave Thursday,” Nick murmured as he looked to see Harry’s reaction.

“Agreed, we’ve been waiting so long. Just want it to be over with,” Harry said with a smile. The Asset Bonding Ceremony consisted of two components: the first was the actual combining of assets, and in Louis’ case, there was a lot of wealth to be dealt with and they’d need professionals to help make sure everything was combined the way that it should be. The second part of the ABC process was the actual ceremony. It was simple, more symbolic than anything as the actual combination of assets was the important part. It would be special to Louis, allowing him to “marry” his daddies in his eyes, and that’s all that mattered. 

“Why don’t we just have it with the boys and our parents once we get to the island?” Nick asked, liking the idea more than he thought about it.

“That’s a great idea, love. I’m sure Louis would like to have his nana and grandma there,” Harry said with a smile, loving how much Louis adored his grandmas.

The men looked up to see how Louis was doing, only to see that he was talking to a little girl who was just as diminutive as Louis was. The girl was wearing a sparkly pink tank top tucked into a pink tutu, her diaper peeking out as her and Louis squealed down the slide together. Once the men finished up their breakfast they were going to let Louis know that they were going to head out soon, but the little boy came stomping up on wobbly legs with his new little friend.

“Did you make a friend, pumpkin?” Harry asked with a blinding smile. 

Louis nodded with a shy smile, “This is Izzy.” 

The little girl waved with a big smile, “I told Lou he could borrow my tutu! He wants to play princesses!”

The little boy blushed, but quietly repeated words his daddies had told him multiple times. “Boys can wear what girls wear too.”

“That’s right, little cub,” Nick said with a smile. 

“I see we’re talking about her tutu?” said a woman as she walked up with a smile, watching her little girl fluff up the pink tulle around her waist.

“We are, Izzy told Louis that he could borrow her tutu. That’s very nice of her. I’m Harry Styles,” Harry said, holding a hand out.

“Nicollete Tarin, I believe we may have met once or twice. I’m Jonathan Ross’ executive producer,” the woman said with a firm handshake.

“Nick Grimshaw, nice to meet you! I’m sure we’ve been in the same place at the same time at the very least. Small world, our business,” Nick said with a chuckle.

“I think we’re the only people who’d consider an indoor playground to be a safe haven,” she laughed. After looking at the two littles chattering away, Harry spoke.

“How about I get your number so the little ones can have a playdate sometime soon?” Harry asked, already pulling out his phone.

“That sounds great. Her mama is at home sick, so once she’s better it sounds like a plan.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope she recovers quickly! Harry and I are actually getting married next week, so we’ll be back around the 30th of July. Louis will be with relatives, though, so I’ll make sure to pass along your number.”

“Well, you have yourselves a great wedding. I’ll be sure to take Louis off of your family’s hands and bring him here with Izzy. It’s good for her to have another little friend.”

“Cheers to that,” Harry said with a smile.

“All right, Loulou, let’s say goodbye to Izzy and go grab some tutus.”

Louis looked up at Nick, “We get tutus? Am I flower boy? Izzy said she got to be flower girl at her mommies’ wedding!”

Nick and Harry had a silent conversation before speaking. 

Harry smiled, “Of course you’re flower boy, angel!”

Louis wasn’t flower boy until that very moment, though. They’d thought he could be the ring bearer, but they could have one of their best men bring the ring down the aisle. Louis’ happiness was integral to the success of the wedding, so that’s all they really cared about.

The three adults cooed at the two littles hugging goodbye. Harry picked Louis up as they headed back into the main YSL store, going straight for the clothing section.

“Let’s go look at the tutus,” Harry narrated, heading back to where he knew the skirts were located for ages 0-2.

“Want a soft skirt like Izzy,” Louis said quietly, resting his head in the crook of his daddy’s neck.

“We’ll get you a pretty, soft skirt. Just let daddy and papa know which ones you want.”

It was hard for Harry and Nick to believe how far Louis had come in the past few months, the boy finally becoming concrete in his desires and the way that he expressed them. He wore pink and princess attire out in public and realized that the world wouldn’t end if he did so. The constant praise of his parents helped him to realize he could do whatever he wanted and they would still love him. And honestly, that was all that mattered.

“All right, pick whichever ones you want” Harry said, turning Louis around in a circle so he could see all of the skirts around them. He was happy that he hadn’t started packing Louis suitcases yet as the boy picked out ten skirts. Some were long, some were glittery, some were bright, and one was the gold of Belle’s dress and Louis absolutely loved it. 

“Nap now,” Louis said, words punctuated with a yawn as he closed his eyes. Harry and Nick chuckled quietly. Now that Louis got what he wanted, he was content to go to sleep. They let him sleep, knowing how crazy the days and weeks to come would be. Nick and Harry couldn’t be stressed, though, knowing that their little boy would soon be theirs for good, in the same way that they’d soon belong to each other. It was shaping up to be a picture perfect wedding weekend, and they couldn’t ask for anything better.


End file.
